The secret sauce (twifaggotry, villainanon 1.0)

May 4th, 2019
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  1. >>The secret sauce perfectly compliments the sandwich.
  3. >Yes, that's it!
  4. >Mwahahaha
  5. >Just look at her pigging herself out on it
  6. >"Gosh, this is really good! Another one please!"
  7. >"Coming right up~!"
  8. >YES
  9. >YESSSS
  10. >IT WORKS
  11. >She's even licking her hooves clean!
  12. >You could watch her eat like that all day
  13. >God she's so hot--
  14. >I mean, what a fatso!
  15. >You should get out of this bush and tell her how cut--no, how much of a piglet she is right now!
  16. >Yeah! You really should do just that--
  17. >No! Wait, calm yourself down!
  18. >She can't know you're involved yet, or it could raise some suspicions!
  19. >But still! Now that your pr--, the princess tasted it, there's no turning back
  20. >She's going to tell her friends about how good this new sauce is, meaning the pink one will hear about it, meaning the whole town will know before tomorrow!
  21. >And then canterlot, and then the rest of horseland, and finally...
  22. >THE WORLD!
  23. >This is your best keikaku yet, there's just no way it could fail!
  24. >It took you three months to get it right
  25. >Three horrible, papillae scorching months but now, finally...
  26. >You made it!
  27. >You've created a perfect replica of BBQ sauce!
  28. >And now that its success is assured and the rumor train has ignited its engine, you'll finally be able to show sporkle the power of capitalism!
  30. >Tomorrow, every food maker around town will beg for you to provide them some of the spicy dressing
  31. >By next week, you'll hopefully have a small team of creatures to help you with the manufacturing process and fill out the hundreds, no, the THOUSANDS of orders from all over horseland!
  32. >Ponies are a big no-no, for obvious reasons
  33. >They talk too much
  34. >And by the end of the month, you'll have reached past the borders and griffins, minotaurs and dragons will also want some of it!
  35. >You'll become the first man to export goods to all of the known realms!
  36. >For all intent and purposes, you're already rich!
  37. >But that's not all
  38. >At that point, everypony in town, including her, will only be able to think about their next BBQ sauce dribbling meal they'll have next!
  39. >Yes
  40. >That's power
  41. >Since you're the only individual knowing the recipe, it means you'll have absolute control over the production of the good, and over how much is sent where!
  42. >You'll just have to stop distributing any to ponyville, and the town will be in uproar in a few days only!
  43. >The streets will be filled with grumpy, irritable little horsies drooling at the mere thought of your product!
  44. >And then she
  45. >She
  46. >She'll have to admit you were right!
  47. >Hell, you'll be able to have her give a public speech about it!
  48. >Just to have you restart the distribution around town, just so she can taste it once again!
  49. >Yes!
  50. >And then, you'll have her go on a date with you!
  51. >And maybe even hold hooves under the moonlight!
  52. >Damn you're a fucking genius
  53. >Papanon would be proud!
  55. >"Wooooh, I'm stuffed! What did you say that sauce was called again?"
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