Jan 2-3 2026

Remember the day jan 2-3 2026. Where for the repayment of loan.. we had gone everywhere to ask  for some help listing the names , raju jethu, soma(the private loan), kakima,and many more. The fcking fate is that no one helped. We didn't even get any fcking  loans to pay the money, we wanted 1-2 lakhs or even 5lakhs to close off all loans and then we would have only left with that loan emi and shop rent. But the fate is not with us . We didn't even get any loans not any helps from anyone..never in my life I felt so help less. Seeing my parents struggle, begging for piece of shits people's lowering their dignity. I can't forget this image and about it. That's why I have recorded it and writing journals to keep myself remembering it every future. And to change my future myself..one thing I heard from one spiritual person is that our present life is changeable. If we make enough karma we can change it. Previous life is real , and it will be real if you don't wanna change your fate, but I wanna change it and i wanna be who I am , I wanna blame myself for my decisions nor the pice of paper .. that's why slowly and steadily I am changing my fate if I can by writing journeys.so that even in future I can remember it and corelate ieht it and laugh from future with money. If I become successful that is . Even if I become or not I have to give 100% . Because I am nothing without my family. What's the meaning of sucessful if there is no one that remains to be with me in this sucessful times. I saw the pains of my parents. The tears and helplessness. And that's the worst a child can see. I wanna change the future. I will change it fck you . I will make evyone atleast be safe from these and make them feel comfortable. So that they can feel at ease. Idk what i will do without my parents because what's the moto of living if I fail to give them the life they deserve, which is peace. I know they did wrong , i also did..but as a child I want their all wrongs to come to me and I get to ask to pay for it after my death. You may ask why not while your living. The answer is simple , if I take the blames while living, how will I give them the peace they deserve. I wanna give them that then after that idc if something happens to me.but before giving them peace life , regret won't go but I think I can lessen the regets they get at future life. That's my job. I will do it surely. So future self if your reading it . Remember the video I took for you  with this date. Watch it and repent what ever I'll thoughts you get in future if you ever get misrouted. Thanks from 18+ self. 12;13 am jan4th 2026. Living off.