The MLP Chronicles, Short #4: Anon Vs. Zecora

[This Was Done In Collaboration With NoLongerAnon; Anon's Perspective Is Written By Myself, and The Ever Alluring Zecora Was Portrayed By NoLongAnon, Many Kudos To Him.]

> You stand mightily forth to this large crowd,
> To state your awesomeness oh so very loud;
> With arrogance stinging in your words,
> You toss modesty to the birds:
"Should some fool think to out-rhyme me,"
"Then come forward, coward, and let me see!"
-----
> “I will out rhyme you, for I am no coward,”
> “But I will not come too close for you smell as if you had not yet showered!”
> “I will test your meddle, and see if your words are true,”
> “Only then will I acknowledge you!”
> “Now let us begin, oh annoying braggart-“
> “For you are starting to look somewhat haggard.”
-----
> You look to see the crowd now splitting in two,
> As some ugly-ass Zebra approaches you.
"What's this, some druid? You better be jokin';"
"Now watch as my rhymes produce a HADOUKEN!"
> You shoot the gigantic energy mass to the sky,
> The crowd cheering as the bulky flash goes bye-bye.
-----
> “If that is truly all your power,”
> “Then this match will be over within the hour!”
> “For, though potions and spells are my specialty,”
> “Rhyming is my other great ability!”
> “Now why don't you try and appreciate,”
> “That my rhyming skills are far too great!”
-----
> You scoff at her proud jeers, her bold proclamations,
> Her ability to rhyme burns like a kidney inflammation.
"Very well, let's see you see try this for size!"
> You deviously summon an overweight cat to terrorize.
"If you think you have what it takes to win,"
"Then let us settle this now, let the match begin!"
-----
> This cat looks very strange,
>Is it prehaps... deranged?
> It matters not, his fate is sealed-
> For I am the master of crowd appeal!
>"Everyone please, ignore the cat,"
>"As I destroy it with a rhyme so Phat!"
-----
"Go now, Garfield, use the rhymes you've been taught!"
"Shred her with your skills, and show her this battle's for naught!"
> Garfield: "Yo, sup dog, I love sleeping and lasagna,"
> "I'm about to put the smackdown on like a... um, party bonanza?"
> You swing a left hook, and send the feline to the air.
"What the hell was this shit, didn't I teach you to rhyme with flair?"
-----
> This turn of events is quite amusing,
> Even if it is a bit confusing.
> But enough distractions, time to rap,
>Before his tomfoolery makes the crowd take a nap!
> You take a step forward, ready to start-
> But just then, you hear a loud...fart?
----
> You look around at the noisy distraction,
> Before you're met with the main attraction.
"Sweet Baby Jesus, what is that smell?"
"It was as if something climbed from the bowels of hell!"
> You see a bubblegum hoof raised, driven from guilt,
> "It was me, Pinkie Pie, and what comic relief it built!"
-----
> Dare I believe my ears?
> Is this why my nose is in tears?
> "Pinkie, such a terrible smell is not funny!
> You are helping this bafoon give me a run for my money!"
> "Before you start helping him with his beat,"
> "Be more careful of what you eat."
-----
"Have no fear, foul horse, for it's ruining my stride;"
"That horrendous stench makes my rhymes hard to decide!"
> With that, you suddenly begin to gag,
> Having the mouthful of dead cat, beaten in a bag.
"Holy shit! What, do I dare ask, that you decided to eat?"
> "Oh, just banana oatmeal, with homemade juice, from beets!"
-----
> "Pinkie, my friend, though that is quite healthy indeed,"
> "You have no need for such strange feed."
> "Now back to the business at hand,"
>"Time to beat your rhymes to a pulp, ugly man!"
> "For when I beat you at this rap,"
>"No other pony will stand for your crap!"
-----
"If, by crap, you mean your boisterous outbursts,"
"Then by all means, deliver your worst!
> You pose in such glory, taking a breath-taking stand,
> Materializing a rose, with a mere sleight of hand.
"Your words are nothing, pure fodder, fit for the grave,"
"That bloody lethargic cat made better sounds than any rhymes you gave!"
-----
> "What are these harsh words you throw at me!"
> "My rhymes are far better than yours will ever be!"
> "With a hop skip and jump, I'll get in your face."
> "And make sure to put you in your place!"
> "As for that cat, his own abilities I won't even mention;"
> "But at least he is better at paying attention!"
-----
> With the sudden proximity, you land on your plot,
> Like an Amazoness Bard, she took your own spot!
"Oh ho ho, that does it, it's time to use the big guns,"
> And you summon a dozen of pony clowns, those scary ones;
> Honking their rubber horns and riding unicycles of fear,
"They'll show you true justice, of this skill you hold so dear!"
-----
> These clowns are intimidating, of that there's no doubt,
> But I can take care of them with one little shout!
> "You may think that these fools can best me,"
> "But you'll be sorely mistaken if you think they can handle....PINKIE!!"
> Wow, that pink party pony is on them in a flash!
> Fearing for their lives, they sure left in a flash!
-----
> Like a blow to the gut, you fall to your right knee,
"Don't think, not even once, this was a victory!"
"Friendship, this love... and that freaking wing collector,"
"Will not stop my skills from being an unstoppable vector!"
> You clench your heart, and stand up once more,
"Let me show you my powers that will even the score!"
-----
> "Powers, hah! That's not what I see;"
> "The only thing before me is a cheap swindler, down on one knee!"
> "So try as you might, my over-confident friend,"
> "But if you keep this up, you'’ll only hasten your end."
> "For if there is one thing I've learned, in the time I’ve spent here,"
> "It''s that when I’m in trouble, my friends are always near!"
-----
> At the mention of "friends", your mind simply snaps,
> Losing all feelings, your brain takes a lapse,
> You mind is but focused, on one simple thing:
> To show who the king of rhymes is, to this small being.
"Let's see how inebriating these rhymes will go today,"
"I'm about to blossom, with a side of awesome, on the things I have to say!"
-----
> "This showy display, it does not impress,"
> "For all my friends, will help with this mess!"
> One by one, they begin to appear,
> Those six friends of mine, that I hold so dear.
> Each one takes their place by me, on the stage,
> As the crazy crook fumes with rage!
-----
> You summon King Kong, Godzilla and Madonna,
> A thousand butterflies over a pool of piranha;
> Seven dancing ghouls with the beat from Thriller,
> And Freddy Krueger from the movies, that frisky serial killer.
"And just, in case, you face the truth coming from me,"
"I bring one more guest; the newly reformed Trixie!"
-----
> These creatures are all a calamity,
> But they are no match for the Elements of Harmory!
>"My friends, do not despair,"
> Rainbow Dash, take to the air!"
> “To Celestia you must go, and ask for her aide,"
> "If we are to stop this mighty raid!"
-----
"Fare thee well, motherfucker, you're starting to tucker,"
"Watch out for that zombie, this is where you duck here!"
"Madonna, use that voice, you have no choice in the say!"
"Godzilla, fight off those ponies with King Kong-TODAY!"
"Screw this pool of piranha, their use is nadda, here's some bologna!"
> And you kick over the pool towards the nearest poor pony!
-----
> These troublesome creatures are strange as can be,
> But is that Celestia’s light from yonder I see?
> And Luna is with her, what a relief!
> "You see that, ruffian? Now you will be made into beef!"
> "With Rainbow Dash and the Elements in tow,"
> "We will give you the finishing Blow!"
-----
"Funny that you know about beef, but let me be brief, I intend to play to keep!"
> A large ravine rips open between you, with the bottom so steep.
> A statue of Discord arises from the ashes, ready to work,
"Time to show you, disown you, with this magical perk!"
> You grab the mighty statue with the mighty palm of your hand,
> And the king of disharmony came forth, "and so chaos began."
-----
>"While chaos may have return,"
>"It seems that neither it nor you truly learn!"
>"For both you and he,”
>"Are much weaker than the power of our Harmony!"
>The light radiating off of those six,
>Told you they would fix this up quick!
-----
> "Oh sweet Zecora," Discord said, "If I may humbly reply,"
> "That none of you have the power to let justice subjectify."
"Shut it, Discord, and finish her off," He gives a scoff, that bum.
> "I think I have better plans for you, Anon- you better run."
> Fear gathers in your eyes; you've brought forth a demon-
> And he's ready to fill you with his cherry-flavored semen!
-----
> This is perfect, they are arguing,
> Meanwhile the Elements have finished charging
> "Now my friends! Use your power! "
> "Defeat those monsters in a friendship shower!"
> I can see as the energy shoots up,
> Before coming back down on the corrupt!
-----
> You see the Elements Harmony, firing a wrath from above,
“I shalt protect myself, with the power of love!”
> Summoning for the final time, you shield the beam unto you,
> With the cute innocent form, of your favorite little filly, Scootaloo.
> “Adopt me!” She said, “Go fuck yourself,” you replied,
“But thanks for saving me, kid, looks like my chances to win died.”
-----
> This cannot be, an utter travesty!
> He tried to shield himself with a filly!
> "I will not idly stand by, and watch a filly fry!"
> "For today is the day you will all most certainly DIE!"
> I managed to sweep his legs out from under him, sending the filly flying,
>As the glowing rainbow of friendship consumed him without even trying!
-----
"Son of a bitch, I need to check on my laundry!"
> And soon you were a part of the foundry.
> Unable to move, you took your fateful pose,
> To show that you've been humbled. Why? No one knows.
> A statue that could be broken at any time,
> But only by the worse possible rhyme.
-----
>No matter, for we have still received,
>The greatest of victories!
> "Now foul charlatan, do you admit defeat?"
> "And that your lyrical prowess is no match for my Phat beat?"
>"Yes, now I can see, in your eyes, the futility."
>"We will let you leave, to never return, do you accept our decree?"
-----
> “Enough is enough,” You heard a regal response from out of view,
> And soon Celestia and Luna are on both sides of you.
> Celestia: “Petrifying losers is a bit harsh for my taste,”
> Luna: “Though all of these monster statues don’t help his case.”
> They touch their horns together, and liberate you from your prison,
> “Now it time for you two to decide, on a more peaceful decision.”
-----
> "Very well then, princesses, if that is what you request,"
> "Then we will reconsider punishing our obnoxious guest."
> "Listen well trickster, and listen clear!"
> "You will show these ponies that they have nothing to fear;"
> "You will live with them, teaching them happiness and fun!"
> "And we might let you stay, once all is said and done."
-----
> And so you lived there for the rest of your days, humbled by the passionate fight,
> Seeing the truth behind her words, you work on your skills in a new light.
-----
> "Now that this unpleasantness is over, my friends, let's not delay,"
> "To continue having fun, and enjoying the day!"