reverse genji2

more reverse genji plan.

i was thinking about their home being really small and modest and it begins to feel even smaller as shirou begins to get undeniably bigger. when shirou goes through fits of fever and aching from his body changing and shifting around, the heat from him fills the air in the house in a way that shinji can’t help but notice. the room shirou is in becomes sweltering, to the point where shinji immediately brings him water and a cold compress as he opens all of the now fogged up windows. he can’t comprehend a human running this hot, but shirou isn’t completely delirious, either. the practical side of shinji doesn’t think that shirou is in danger of dying, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t still afraid of it. he sits by shirou all night and changes his compresses and helps him peel off his clothes and change his bedding when they’re soaked with sweat. the low growls of discomfort that come from shirou aren’t all too surprising.

shinji hates that all he can do is sit and look after him. he wishes so much that he could stop this all from happening to him, so shirou can return to being his usual vibrant self. with a pinched brow he dabs the compress at shirou’s hairline as he breaks into a sweat once more. the sounds of delicate crackling and the shivers that course through shirou’s tense body make shinji’s stomach turn. there’s no doubting that shirou is mutating into something else. slowly and painfully, right in front of him. shinji grits his teeth to keep from letting any frustrated tears escape him. this is his charge. he was responsible for shirou. sitting beside him and holding his trembling hand, he can’t help but feel like he’s failed him.

shinji can’t remember when he had finally fallen asleep. the sun hasn’t risen completely, but the beginnings of purple and yellow have begun to fill the room through the open windows. he can feel the sticky tear tracks on his face and chin; he can feel his stuffy nose and the ache of having clenched his teeth. is this what they call an emotional hangover? little by little he takes note of all of his until the feeling comes back into his body enough to realize the warmth pressed against his back and into the crook of his neck. shinji freezes.

during that unconscious block of time shirou has pulled him close, slotting shinji flush against him. warm breath tingles against the sensitive skin of his neck and shinji can’t help but quietly gasp at the sensation of his limbs going static numb at the realization that shirou sought him out for comfort this way. his heart both aches and skips several beats. shirou shifts against him, quietly whining as a tremble of discomfort overwhelms his body. unsure if he can even hear him, shinji whispers what he hopes is comforting reassurance. he’ll look after shirou forever if he needs to; after all, that’s the responsibility he accepted. he supposes that he just never took into account that shirou would become the most important and precious thing to him.

no matter what happens, shinji will take responsibility. he never quits or gives up and he hopes he’s helped instill those qualities in shirou as well.

there’s a rustling behind him of the blanket against the futon and the sensation of shirou’s nose pressed to the skin directly below his ear. shinji freezes as he feels what are undoubtedly sharp canines graze across the delicate skin of his neck. shirou whines again, distant and unconscious. shinji screws his eyes shut and tries to think of some kind of prayer; one that will grant shirou the ability to get the kind of relief he needs, even when he feels as if he already knows what that is.

shinji is absolutely still through the impossibly long moment between them. time has stopped. another gruff, uncomfortable whine escapes shirou’s lips before teeth sink into shinji’s neck.

shinji’s mouth opens, but with all of his willpower, hardly any sound leaves his throat. his teeth clench and he tremors slightly, but notes that he hasn’t seemed to hit any kind of artery. blood trickles from his neck and across his chest, but it isn’t nearly as painful as he had expected. rather, the teeth sunken into his flesh have almost had an effect similar to a local anesthetic in the skin surrounding the puncture.

shirou stops rustling in discomfort and the rigid tightness in his shoulders goes slack. shinji remains slotted against his body, having accepted the teeth buried into his neck. his body trembles now and again in shock, even once he’s succumbed to unconsciousness. whether it was from exhaustion or something else, shinji would never know. as long as shirou was comfortable, that was all that mattered to him right now.