GreentextSavant - Trixie and Sugarcoat as comed

Mar 18th, 2017
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  1. Sugarcoat the Comedian:
  2. >"Thank you, thank you." Sugarcoat walks onto the stage, her weird looking pigtails bouncing with each step.
  3. >The audience stops clapping.
  4. >After a silent but deep breath, the girl begins.
  5. >"Have you ever stood in line at the DMV?"
  6. >The audience chuckles.
  7. >"...I honestly don't know why you're laughing yet, I barely started the joke."
  8. >The audience thinks she's just poking more fun at her own act and laughs even more.
  9. >Sugarcoat exhales and continues.
  10. >"Have you even sat next to a mother with two or three loud children?"
  11. >In response, the audience begins oohing and ahhing as though they all instantly relate.
  12. >"It's probably annoying, isn't it? If it actually happens all the time, of course." Sugarcoat paces around the stage with the microphone. "Because i'm sure a lot of you have been to the DMV, and it's not unlikely that your visits there weren't as entertaining as they are on TV or in the movies."
  13. >The audience laughs, a little bit quieter this time.
  14. >"Don't lie, you probably just sat there and waited for your number to get called, and nothing interesting happened just like how it usually goes in real life."
  15. >It starts to become clear where this is going for the people who know Sugarcoat well enough.
  16. >"But people really do like to over-exaggerate things, no? They like to enrich their stories with things that never actually happened to make themselves seem more interesting. And I suppose that some of you are expecting me to do that on this stage tonight."
  17. >The audience starts to look confused.
  18. >"What's wrong? You telling me you actually have had wild experiences at the DMV? Because that place isn't exactly an amusement park, you know. The people there work really hard, and frankly, if I were to make jokes about them up here on this stage, that would just be downright rude."
  19. >Sugarcoat continues on like this, soon boring the audience enough to start jeering.
  20. >She starts to ask them why they come from such a boring town where nothing interesting ever happens, and insists that the chances are that none of them have been in very many funny moments in their life.
  21. >Begins listing the stats of the local poverty rates and tells them that they are childish for wanting jokes about people who work at the DMV.
  22. >Sugarcoat gets booed off stage and flicks the audience off before disappearing behind the tomato stained curtain.
  23. End.
  24. _____
  25. Trixie the Comedian:
  26. >Everyone watches the girl stride onto the stage.
  27. >"Thank you! Thank you! How are we all feeling tonight?"
  28. >The crowd just claps and cheers in response.
  29. >"Trixie would like to applaud to you instead for being such a great audience!" She claps with the microphone in her hand. "Now listen closely."
  30. >The audience goes quiet, some anticipating what's inevitably going to happen next.
  31. >"Here's a little lesson in comedy... this is going down in history."
  32. >The instrumental version of "We Are Number One" starts playing.
  33. >"If you want to be a stand up number one... you have to think of jokes on the run!"
  34. >Trixie runs to the side of the stage and pulls out a small model of an airplane.
  35. >"This plane sure looks small, right?"
  36. >The audience laughs hysterically with tears in their eyes, doing the OK sign with their hands.
  37. >"But what if Trixie told you... that this plane wasn't really small?"
  38. >She opens the hatch and pulls out a Bane mask.
  39. >The audience cheers.
  40. >"What if Trixie told you she was a big guy?"
  41. >The audience responds in unison: "For you!"
  42. >"It's no wonder the plane would look so small in comparison! Do you know why the plane looks so small next to a big guy?"
  43. >"Why?" The audience asks.
  44. >"Tell Trixie what the plane doesn't have on it!"
  45. >Memebers in the audience take random guesses, shouting them at the stage. Trixie smiles down upon them.
  46. >"Developers!"
  47. >More laughter and cheers come from the audience.
  48. >"Developers developers developers developers!"
  49. >Trixie pulls more and more memes out of her head as the act goes on. The audience cheers her on.
  50. >Even Trixie herself laughs at the jokes she tells.
  51. >She gets a ton of revenue form that one concert alone, and soon receives a deal for a sitcom in the upcoming Autumn.
  52. >...
  53. >After her stunning debut, Trixie gets a one way ticket to Hollywood She's not at all hesitant to pack all of her things and leave her hometown of Canterlot behind.
  54. >She rents a trailer like a lot of performers do and begins to think of ways to further captivate her audiences with this unique form of comedy that's not just limited at all to certain places on the internet, no way.
  55. >The first few shows Trixie does are even more fun that the schtick back in Canterlot.
  56. >Trixie always loved being in front of a large crowd that cheers wildly for her, and she can practically control their emotions with her words alone.
  57. >She gains major traction in Hollywood. Catching the eyes of audiences and producers alike. Along with this, the first filming sessions of her new sitcom start in about a week.
  58. >Trixie spends the entire next seven days writing the script for the show, and she goes searching around the internet for anything she can use
  59. >The director gives her a confused, worried look when she shows him the already final draft. But the script fits Trixie's past material like a slipper. And her past material was proven to be a versatile success.
  60. >This show is less of a sitcom and more of a reality TV prank show, but with internet memes.
  61. >The name of the show is The Trixie Show, then the episode number.
  62. >The first episode starts off with Trixie, the protagonist, flying around in a jetpack dressed in a bumblebee costume.
  63. >She is documented holding a big jar of honey and pouring it onto random people in the street. The people on the street are paid actors, but Trixie's pulling a Joey Salads on this.
  64. >She also takes a bottle of Ranch dressing and runs around squirting the paid actors with it too.
  65. >Trixie wears a green body suit as she does this, and usually surprises people by hiding behind refrigerators and scaring people in their kitchens by jumping off the counter and squirting them with either Ranch or Thousand Island.
  66. >This whole thing becomes extremely popular on both TV and the internet.
  67. >YouTube is trending often with Trixie's videos. All of the full length episodes can be found, and hundreds of YouTubers edit her videos. With titles saying "The Trixie Show: Episode 5, but..." and then they list the things they changed.
  68. >People are actually taking the time to edit the entire episodes as wholes, and Trixie even encourages it after finding out how widespread the trend has become.
  69. >After the 20th episode, Trixie starts to edit her older episodes by both digitally changing things and adding new material as well.
  70. >But she doesn't just leave it at replacing certain parts, she changes around the very content itself.
  71. >Doing covers of what she did before, now with more and more equipment she couldn't previously afford.
  72. >Hollywood signs Trixie a couple of movie deals, and she starts working with Michael Bay on special effects such as CGI explosions. She also works with him on CGI explosions, but different somehow.
  73. >All the while she's doing these things that have turned into literal stunts, Trixie inserts little spurts of stand up where she would take the latest meme on the internet and make as many references to it as she possibly can.
  74. >Trixie makes it clear which one she's focusing on, thus dictating the theme of each episode.
  75. >Needless to say... Trixie more than knows what she's doing, and she's even more than having fun with it.
  76. >But things really start to get interesting when another popular YouTube channel recognizes Trixie's work and asks for a collab.
  77. >Trixie finds herself confronting Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer, the creators of the channel SunLight.
  78. >These two girls are very good singers, well known for the couple of albums they have put out, and Trixie sees a lot of potential in working with these two.
  79. >They recognize Trixie as they come down from their hotel room one late morning.
  80. >Their hair messy and shirts inside out, but Trixie is still able to recognize them as well.
  81. >"Oh hey!" Starlight strides over to the comedian. "Look who it is."
  82. >Trixie sits in her seat at the breakfast bar. Smiling and quietly clapping from excitement.
  83. >"Trixie didn't expect to see you two here." Trixie asks. "She didn't know you were touring here."
  84. >Sunset giggles and looks at her partner. "Oh, we're not touring right now." She hints, nudging Starlight on the arm.
  85. >Starlight blushes.
  86. >Trixie catches on to what she meant after a couple of seconds. "Oh, that's right! You two are together too."
  87. >"Yeah, we just like to have a little bit of fun in between tours." Sunset explains. "We were actually on our way to get breakfast too."
  88. >"So are you touring here?" Asks Starlight.
  89. >"Yes. Trixie feels like she can't have fun if she's not performing. It's just like a second nature to her at this point."
  90. >Sunset and Starlight exchange glances, having recharged after lying in bed together all morning; they begin to feel eachother's currently growing ambition.
  91. >The three girls converse for another couple of minutes or so, describing how their lives are going and agreeing with one another how crazy it can get running around all the time, but how it's more than worth it with it being so fun.
  92. >"Say, do you have an open schedule later on?" Starlight eventually asks.
  93. >"Why's that?" Trixie hands the waitress the couple of dollars for the orange juice she ordered.
  94. >"Well, I was wondering if you'd want to come along with us during out next tour." Starlight offers. "Or maybe vice versa."
  95. >Trixie is lucky she wasn't already drinking her orange juice -- she would have spit it out upon hearing that. "Are... are you serious?" Trixie gasps with her eyes growing wide.
  96. >Sunset looks at Starlight and nods in agreement.
  97. >"Oh... uh..." Trixie is ALMOST at a loss for words. "Trixie would be honored!"
  98. >Trixie yelled her answer loudly enough to be heard by a number of other people in the front sitting area of the hotel and bar.
  99. >This is when they immediately recognize that there are famous people over there, not having looked in that direction until now.
  100. >Starlight and Sunset wave with their cheeks blushing a little again from the sudden attention. Trixie gets stars in her eyes from it, and stands up to greet her fans as they direct their attention towards her and the other two.
  101. >"Oh my gosh! It's all three of them together in one spot!" A young girl exclaims before taking out her mobile phone. "Can I take a picture with you?!"
  102. >Her legs are awkwardly shaking with glee.
  103. >"Come right over!" Trixie has her pen out for autograph signing.
  104. >Trixie by far enjoys the next several minutes of fans swarming her and the other two. She's always felt so loved in these types of moments.
  105. >After the autograph signing is over, Starlight offers for trixie to join her and Sunset up in their hotel room for planning how they're going to do a collab show.
  106. >"We're actually staying her for the next couple of days to relax a little more." Sunset tells Trixie.
  107. >Trixie claps her hands together again and squeals excitedly. "Oh how convenient! Trixie was just checking out of her room! She has a couple of hours before she has to get ready for the next performance, as she was planning to find somewhere to eat first." Her feet can't stay still. "Let's go!"
  108. >Starlight finds herself slightly turned on by Trixie's... unbound enthusiasm. Something that most people would be too shy to hold inside.
  109. >But Trixie doesn't seem to care.
  110. >If anything, that's probably the main thing that helped her become famous.
  111. >After getting into the room, and letting Trixie in first, Starlight gets a look from Sunset that says this exact same thing.
  112. >They both have their sights set on Trixie.
  113. >"Say uh..." Starlight starts. "You going to be coming back here after your performance?"
  114. >"Mhm!" Trixie cutely smiles with her eyes blinking. "Trixie would love to spend some time here. She's a huuuuuge fan of your work!"
  115. >Starlight just barely manages to resist biting her lip. "We're fans of your work too."
  116. >...
  117. >They later meet in the hotel room and bang so hard, yo.
  118. >But then Sugarcoat goes whining to Cinch because she wasn't invited, which was because she's not famous.
  119. >Cinch uses her power to pull some strings and cancel the universe.
  120. >Everything ceases to exist.
  121. End.
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