Thread 50: Stories 31-45

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 >RD
'Past RD'

>Whoa, this is...weird.

'Dude! Awesome you're me! Wait your not a changeling or something are you?

>Pfft if I was a changeling think I could do this?

'Alright fair enough, fair enough, but what about this?!'

>Oh come on that's old school stuff, I- wait I think I know what happened.

'Huh?'

>Dude I think your me from the past! Or I'm from the future...one of those at least.

'...OhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygosh'

>Uuuh, you alright past me?

'Does that mean I actually got into the Wonderbolts?! Oh man I bet I got made captain or at least vice captain I bet! Oh man I'm so excited, tell me everything future me!'

>...

'W-why are you staring at me like that? We did make into the Wonderbolts right?'

>Yeah...we did....

'Then why do you look like Pinkie when she was acting all weird when she thought we forgot her birthday?'

>...ITS ALL A LIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

'Whoa! Future me calm down! What's all a lie? Dude stop crying it's not cool man!'

>The Wonderbolts are all a lieeeeee, they act like rockstars and take drugs and they dont practice what they preach and they have so much paperwooooooooooooooork!

'Paper work? whats that got to do with anything?!'

>Oh..you'll learn...you will...

'Hey!'

>What?

'You listen up future me and listen good, no matter how bad things get you can bet your bottom bit that we'll be there to kick flank and take names. Even if it is signing paperwork and the Wonderbolts are not what we thought they were. You can trust me on that!

>You do realize that I'm the one from the future right?

'Oh shut up and come race me you look like you haven't even been flying as much as you ought ta!'

>...you know what, yeah, you're right, lets do this.

'Last one to the Crystal Empire and back has to buy drinks at Berry's Bar!'

With laughter and the clap of the sound barrier being bent over not once but twice over the duo leave a rainbow streak behind them as they fly.
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 >Past 18
"18"

~~~~~~

>What is that...

"That... is our most dreaded foe."

>Ev... Everytime I turn away from it, it seems to grow larger!

"Its true, I lost several interns to this thing... it never stops growing... Never stops coming. We're barely able to keep it in check."

>We?

"Shiny... and sometimes, her Highness.

>That idiot and the Queen!?

"He's can be so much more than you think he is... and she's amazingly good with numbers."

>Huh... How... How much has changed since my time and... now I guess?

"... You wouldn't believe me if I told ya- AHHHHH!"

>LET HER- ME GO YOU EVIL STACKS OF PAPER!

"LEAVE ME, SAVE YOURSELF!"

>NO YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD ME WHY YOU'RE WEARING A CADENCE WIG!?
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 >Twilight
"Past Twilight"
~~

>...Well, this is familiar.

"Tell me about it."

>...

"..."

>...You, uh, you didn't vanish.

"You're the one from the future."

>Oh, right, point. But you're in my time, I think.

"Oh.. OH MY GOSH!"

>The scientific possibilities!

"The wonders!"

>...ALL THE WAYS IT'S GOING TO GO WRONG!

"Wait, what?"

>Listen to me, LISTEN TO ME! Everything you do, EVERY, THING, is going to go wrong!

"The robots?"

>GOES WRONG!

"The artificial room?"

>Not in a spectacular way but posed a lot of really annoying parts!

"Oh, okay, so I should just stick to studying changelings?"

>SO WROOOOONG! Just... just stick in your lab! Or outside your lab! Become a nun! I don't even know what a nun is, but give it a try! You'll probably have a lower body count!

"BODY COUNT!?"

>It all goes so wroooooong!

"...W-what about Shiny?"

>Huh? Oh, he's still fine.

"WHEW! Don't scare me like that!"

>Sorry, should have thought about it.

"Yeah, you should have!"

>Look, he's fine, we punched the cancer out of him.

"...WHAT!?"

>Just... just brace yourself, it's all going to go so wrong.

"...Does Applejack at least grill us for stuff we did wrong eventually?"

>Nope.

"THIS IS THE WORST FUTURE!"
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 >Mane-Iac
"Past Mane-Iac"
~~~~

>"AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA... HAH!"

"Still fun?"

>SO fun!

"Neat!"
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 >Past Shining Armor
"SA"
+Past Cadence+
-Caddy-

+WHICH ONE DO I SHOOT!?+

"Sweet Celestia, not this again..."

>AGAIN!?

-...Again.-

>This has happened before!?

"Yes, and believe me... you are not going to like when this happens."

-I said I was sorry...-

"I know you are but this is sooo not helping past me."

-At least I shot the doll.-

>phew... that's a relief... WAIT, THE DOLL!?
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 >Luna
"Past Luna"
~~

"...It never goes down, does it?"

>Just... just indulge thineself in ice cream, it stems the pain for but a moment.

"Does it not hurt our diet?"

>...

"...We realized the futility before we even spoke it..."
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 >PJ
"Blueblood"
'Past Blueblood'
~~~

>Wow, past you was an ass.

"You have no idea."

'With that horrid bug creature!? You hang out with that disgusting, green spewing little monster!? How can you stand to be in her presence!?'

"How Haymaker kept from clocking you, I will never know."

'Who?'

"That guard that's always around us."

'DO NOT NAME THE HELP! Then they think we owe them personally! And then they'll start demanding higher wages, more days off, and more things that my secertary will try to bug me with... HAHA! Bug, because you spend time with lesser beings.'

>Time paradox urge still rising?

"I'm about to ask you to take off his head."

>...Considering it.

'You know, my jetski could use a new coating, how strong do you think that skin of hers is?'

>...Really considering it.

"Nobody will blame you, trust me."

'I can't die, I'm rich!'
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 AU50
>Pommel
"Past Pommel"

>Oh wow, I remember this.

"Huh?"

>Dungeons, am I right? You totally pissed off Strikes by saying the guard kinda sucks and he threw you down here, yeah?

"Oh, yeah, that's right. I dunno what he's hoping for here, I'm just stuck looking after those two con artists that built robots. I'm not allowed into Blueblood's solitary wing."

>Ohhh trust me, you're gonna be looking after someone pretty special before long.

"O...k...uhm, hey, does it get any better? Like, the all of it?"

>I couldn't tell you, you get eaten.

"..."

>You live, but...we aren't exactly home in my now.

"Where the fuck are we!?"

>We're fighting pirates alongside other pirates over control of a city of gold on the back of a giant crab squid thing that's inhabited by mutant fish ponies and bird ponies all controlled by some kind of elder god stuck in a gigantic diamond.

"..."

>What?

"Future me...did...did we get awesome?"

Current Pommel patted his past self on the head.

>Past me, we're the best in the world at what we do.

"...what do we do?"

>Come up with a slapdash insane plan after getting our asses beat.

"Oh...cool!"
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 50AU
>56
“Past 56”
‘???’
______

>WOOOOOW! I’m so tall!

“What... the hell?”

>I was nearly as tall as not-mom!

“No, seriously. What in the heated bowels of Tartarus is this? Why… why is there a shorter version of me in this future? Am I- I don’t understand, did I somehow shrink? What in *KRSSSH* name is thi- wait… was that static just then?”

>Hm? Oh, it sure was! What did ya say, past me?

“My Queen’s name, *KRRSH*.”

>…

“…”

>Onnnne more time?

“*KRSSSK*. Her name is *KRSSSH*! …Okay, stop it. Just let me say *KRSSSS*! FUCK! Why can’t I say it?!”

>I dun-

It was at that point a glint in the sky caught past56’s eye and he swiftly tilted his head to the left, allowing the projectile bar of soap to zip past where it struck the wall.

“And what was that?!”

>Oh wow! You actually dodged it, that’s rare! That was Celly’s momma!

“…There is so much wrong here I am legitimately shook. I can’t say my name, my futureself is a youngling, somehow, and I’m obviously close enough to that infernal Firehorse to know her mother. .. Something is very wrong.”

>By the land of plots you’re tall, past me. Like, I’m cranin’ my head here. How much love do ya have? Is that how ya got so big?

“I need answers, this future’s all kinds of fucked up.”

Another bar of soap beelined for his skull but again, past56 evaded it almost subconsciously.

>Nice!

“How’s that nice? The mother of our sworn nemesis is hurling soap at me for the crime of what I’m going to assume is the use of vulgarity. That’s… I have no words. Where’s our Queen?”

>Queen…? You mean not-mom?

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WE DON’T HAVE MOMS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE OUR QUEEN IS!”

>Ummm… me? I really dunno who our old not-mom is….

“…”

>Wooooow that’s a mighty crazy look you have there.

“…I have to end you, future me.”

>End… me? Like end my hunger for some ice cream? Hey, wanna take me for some?

“No, end you as in take you out of this future. *KRRRRSH* would spit black if she saw this is what I became… hell, I want to spit black.”

>Oh. I see. Well… I don’t think you can hurt me, past me.

“I can sure try.”

>Well, yeah, suppose ya could, yeah.. but then again I don’t think not-mom would let you.

“WHO IS THIS NOT-MOM YOU KEEP REFERRING TO?”

Wordlessly, 56 lifted a hoof and pointed a ways behind his past self to the stunned figure standing half-concealed in shadow and looking as though they’d seen a bleeding specter.

>Her.

“Her wh-…”

‘…it can’t be.’

“Chrysalis…”

>Heya, not-mom! Meet me! Uh… from the past!

“I… don’t understand…”

Chrysalis said nothing. She didn’t even look to be breathing, eye unblinkingly focused.

“Y-you should be dead… how are you still alive…?”
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 >Chrysalis
"Past Chrysalis"
~~~

"So, Empire, eh? How's plan "Get the heart" Going?"

>Gone and gone.

"...I'm noticing we're not gods upon the earth."

>Yeah, doesn't go nearly as well as you think.

"Hrm... what of plan "Sap Shining Armor dry and conquer the Empire"?"

>Goes extremely poorly.

"Plan "Mind control Equestria"?"

>We put that one in the garbage rather quickly.

"Plan "replace Cadence"?"

>We can't get the ass right.

"WHAT PLANS DO WORK!?"

>Plan 'get all the romance movies in the world.'

"...I'm counting that as a success."

>It's our only one, really.
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 >Celestia
"Past Celestia"
~~~~

>...

"...It goes pretty much how I think it goes, doesn't it?"

>We've discovered a game called russian roulette. You are going to become very intimate with it.

"Regret?"

>Loooottta regret.
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 50 AU
>Past Applejack
"Princess Applejack"

~~~~


>...

"..."

>......

"......"

>.........

".........

>"...Ah' blame Celestia.
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 50AU
>77
"Past 77"
~~~

He supposed it was inevitable he would come face to face with his past eventually.

Though, he admitted, he didn't think it would be literal.

But there 'he' was, hidden within the confines of the air vent, waiting. For what, he couldn't recall. What was he waiting for...

No time to ponder that, he realized. His self dropped out of the vent in a flash, already coming right at his throat. It was almost too easy to catch him and toss himself aside. Sloppy, unfocused, confused. That he remembered.

His other self landed hard, perhaps a touch harder than he intended it to be. He was far lighter than even previously thought. Little more than chitin and bones.

Trying the direct route against the hissing, growling thing that barred it's weapon would be futile, he knew. There was only one way to reach him.

>Identify yourself, soldier!

His single eye blinked rapidly, dazed and confused for a second before he snapped into a salute.

"C-changeling 77, of her majesties army! Sent into the catacombs in order to procure a secure route for invasion! Yourself?"

He nodded to himself, pulling out a distinctly familiar weapon.

>Changeling 77 of her majesties army, currently in service to her highness in a more direct capacity.

Confusion marred the younger him's face for a brief moment, but it passed in an instant, replaced with a snarl and weapon being bared.

"What is this!? An imposter!?"

>Put that down, we both know you've never killed anyone with that. 88 would never want us to use that on herself.

Like a punch in the gut, his hoof wavered and lowered once more, eyes going wide and mouth stretching open in a gape.

"H-how..."

Wordlessly, his to-be-self reached up, and lifted his own eye patch.

>I'm you... from the future.

The bone knife clattered to the ground, and bits of moisture began to form over the past 77's eyes.

"N-no... no no... I-I've finally snapped. I'm... I'm hallucinating again..."

>Actually? Thought the same thing myself, but it's just a time warp. Not as bad as it seems.

His head snapped up at the almost jovial, happy tone, confused beyond measure.

"W-what?"

>Or, at least, that's what Twilight said. She seems to know what she's talking about, though.

"T-twilight?"

>Princess Twilight, of Canterlot.

"...W-we... speak to her?"

>Oh, all the time. She's quite the card.

"But... but what of..."

>It's all in the past, I assure you.

He nodded, sitting down in an almost dead slump.

"... I still don't think you're real."

>Seeing as I'm you, I fully believe and understand that, and do not hold it against you.

"But..."

>But you must be curious about the future.

"...No."

That, he also understood.

>But we both know there is something you want to know, something that's eating away inside of you, something filling you with the need to ask. Go ahead.

His past self's mouth went dry, tongue rolling about as his chest started to heave, almost breathless.

"D-does she care..."

More of that same moisture began to prickle in the corner of his eyes, more ragged breaths leaving him quickly.

"D-d-does she even care what she did to us? W-we didn't deserve that. Nobody deserved that... how could she..."

A far stronger, steadier hoof touched his shoulder, softly moving him up until old and weathered eyes met younger.

>She has never said it directly.

He didn't even need his memories to know the bile and hate bubbling up, ready to spew fire and rage at any moment.

>...But it deeply haunts her to this day.

His younger self froze, breathless, stunned.

>She never wanted this to happen to us, to any of us. It was... a mistake.

His younger self shuddered beneath the touch, eyes clenching just a bit.

"I... don't think that covers it."

>No, it doesn't.

They stared at each other for a long, long time, just waiting for the other to make the next move.

>Go ahead, I know you want to ask it. I'm willing to risk a paradox for this.

"...Does it get better?"

He hesitated for a moment, thoughtfully poking the side of his past self's head.

>The things you see in here... they never go away. I don't think they ever will go away. It's going to live in you for the rest of time.

Devastation, that was the only real way to describe what went across the soldier's face.

>But it gets better.

"...How much better?"

At last, the older version of him smiled, genuinely, happily smiled.

>You'll have to see that for yourself. We find many things up here. Things we knew we needed, things we didn't think we deserved, things we now know we can't live without. And I promise you... it gets better.

Ignoring his blank, almost expressionless face, the 77 that will be stood up straight, pointedly looking at him.

>On your hooves, soldier. Your service to your hive has not yet ended. Many a time will you be put to the test, and you will not take them alone. Not again, never again.

His past self stared openly as the seconds ticked away, unsure.

Nonetheless, he shakily stood up, and saluted.

"C-... Changeling 77, reporting for duty."

His future self saluted him right back, proud.

>Your rewards for your service will come in time, soldier. But for now... you have a duty to attend.

"Sir yes sir!"

Fondly, he smiled.

>You make them all proud, soldier... you make them all proud...
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 50AU
>Cadence
"Past Cadence"
~~~

"Soooo, heyyyy, couldn't help but notice a lot of changelings around."

>Yeah, that happens. My life is now, like, eighty percent changeling.

"Specifically, I noticed that one particular one is kind of... clingy."

>Be specific, they're all clingy in some way.

"The short one."

>...You can't be serious.

"I'm serious! Aren't you worried she's going to try to steal Shiny!?"

>Not so much, no.

"Just look at her! Giving him those eyes... you know the ones! She's pure husband stealer!"

>You are going to feel really, really dumb for that later.

"I very much doubt that!"

>If you say so. By the way, stock up on these.

"...Mashmallows? Why?"

>Let's just say you, her, and that bag are going to get to know each other very, very well in the future.

"...what?"
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 50AU
>Spike
"Past Spike"
~~~

"By the way, what is that on your hip?"

>My gun?

"What's a gun?"

>...

"Looks kind of cool, what's it do?"

>...

"Uh-"

>I miss you so much...
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