Alternate Anon Adventures 3 - Easy Mode Part 1 (NSFW)

>Another quiet day in P0nyville.
>Temporarily.
>You're going about your business when a couple of wagons pulled by stallions in uniform, roll into the town square.
>On the back of each one are piles of... things. You can't see what they are clearly from where you're standing.
>Before you get a chance to get a closer look, a crowd has formed around the vehicles, blocking your progress.
>One of the stallions, a unicorn, climbs up onto a wagon and pulls out a megaphone from under the colourful pile with his magic and brings it in front of his face.
>"Attention citizens of P0nyville." He barks, "By decree of Her Royal Highness, Princess Celestia, each individual is to receive one of these..."
>He pauses before lowering the megaphone and hisses at one of his associates to come over. They talk to each other for a minute before the first p0ny resumes speaking.
>"As I was saying, each citizen is entitled to receive a free... soft and cuddly... snuggable wuggable... doll."
>There's some muttering from the local population, mostly surprised at the sudden gift from their government, but their tone is mostly positive.
>"If you could line up in an orderly fashion, it'll allow us to distribute these dolls as efficiently as possible." One of the other wagon-pullers announces.
>A queue quickly forms and you park yourself in it, ready to receive your own doll.

>A few minutes later and you're at the front. The distributors eye you up, clearly unaccustomed to your presence.
>“And who might you be?” One of them asks.
“Anonymous.” You answer, “I live here. Celestia knows about me already. What's all this about?” You motion at the two wagons.
>“Didn't you hear? Everyp0ny gets a free doll.”
“I know that. What I want to know is why.”
>The pony looks at you, stumped at what to say. He looks worriedly at his partners, who shrug at him.
>“Sir, just take one please.”
“Fine, hand one over.”
>A doll is given to you. As you get out of the way of the p0ny behind you, you take the time to examine the plushie. Nothing extraordinary about it. Your one looks a little like Lyra funnily enough.
>Tossing the doll into the air, a moment of shock overcomes you as the doll's tail swishes aside, revealing an orifice of all things.
>You're about to return the offending item when you overhear the locals similarly perturbed by the gaping maw found on their own dolls.
>“Is this some sort of joke?” One p0ny says.
>“Not a very good one.” Another replied.
>It didn't take too long for a mob to form but the recipients of their anger had scampered away while everyone was distracted. A pile of the aggravating items was the only evidence that the visitors had been there in the first place.

>You immediately make tracks for the library. As you walk, you notice more of the dolls scattered all over the streets. Other p0nies who hadn't been at the square find these miniatures, some are disgusted while others are morbidly curious, a few surreptitiously taking one while trying their best to be incognito.
>Entering the library, you call out for Twilight.
>She doesn't appear.
>Going to the bedroom, you find Spike playing on your DS.
“Hey bro, you seen Twilight anywhere?”
>“She's down in the basement.” He answers, “I don't think she wants to be disturbed; I tried going down there a while ago, she screamed at me to get out.”
“This is too important to wait.”
>“Why? Hey, what's that you're holding?”
“It's why I need to see Twilight. Some guys with a couple of carts came into town, handed them out saying they were presents from Celestia and ran off afterwards.”
>“Wow, really? Where's mine? Can I have one?”
“Err... No. I don't think that'd be a good idea.”
>“What? Why?”
“Because I need to talk to Twilight about this. Just keep playing whatever it is you're playing, I'll keep you in the loop.”
>The dragon huffs and sits back down at the dressing table. The blips and beeps from the machine tell you he's playing Metroid Prime Hunters. Judging from his composure, he was finding the game a bit challenging.
>Not quite as easy as Zelda, is it? You think to yourself.

>Leaving the bedroom, you go to the door leading to the basement. You rap on it a few times but there's no answer. Opening the door, you're greeted by the sound of soft moans coming from below.
>That can't be what you think it is... is it?
>You tiptoe down the stairs through the gloom. As you do, the sounds increase in volume.
>Yeah, you really hope that isn't what you think it is.
>Once the wall on your left comes to a stop, you do so too in order to stay out of sight.
>Poking your head around the edge, you take a look at the room you've restricted yourself from entering, figuring it was Twilight's personal space, much like your bedroom was at your parents' house.
>Now you wish you hadn't and were capable of erasing your memories.
>Adorning the walls are numerous pictures of male p0nies. Some of them depict single stallions in various poses allowing their voluminous meat sticks to be on prominent display.
>Others have any combination of multiple stallions hiding said meat sticks in a variety of ways, a few you didn't even think was physically possible.
>Some of the floor space down here is taken up by a variety of machines, their functions unknown and you'd prefer it if they stayed that way. In the centre of the room is a table illuminated by a spotlight hanging from the ceiling. There's something on it but you can't make out what exactly.
>What you can discern is a certain purple unicorn sitting and making a circular motion with one of her hooves and panting.

>Holy shit, you've just walked into one big fapping... schlicking session.
>What do you do? Go? Stay?
>You're never going to forget this moment. When you're on your deathbed in however many years time, the last thing you'll see before your brain switches off will be what's happening right now.
>“Urgh... take it Blue Blood.” The unicorn says breathlessly, “Take all of it. Big Mac wants it. Oh! Don't stop Big Mac. Fill that dirty colt up.”
>With that extra information, you can now determine that the colourful splodge on the table is a diorama of Applejack's brother and some other stallion going balls deep.
>Wonderful.
>Genghis Khan had the right idea. You wish you had some molten tin to pour into your ears and eyes right now.
>Considering you now have unwanted information regarding Twilight's preferences in regards to getting herself going on lonely nights, this seems as good a time as any to make a silent exit.
>“Mmm... We need to make this a bit more interesting, don't we boys?”
>Twilight gets up and goes behind one of the contraptions. A minute later, she returns with another figure floating in front of her.
>That isn't p0ny shaped.
>She positions it in front of the white model, Blue Blood you'd wager, and returns back to her original position.
>“Anonymous would like to join in on the fun. Make him happy or Big Mac will have to punish you some more.”
>The way she chuckles afterwards turns your blood to ice.

“NOPE!”
>The unicorn jumps out of her skin as you storm down the steps. She shrinks back in shame and hides behind one of her devices as you walk over to the table. You take your miniature representation and tear it to pieces. You opt to leave the other figures resembling Big Mac and Blue Blood alone. You hate to admit it but they are very good likenesses.
“Twilight Sparkle, get yourself out here.”
>The mare meekly re-emerges. With a quick flash of magic, the pictures of aroused stallions roll up and disappear into the unlit corners of the basement.
>“Anon... I-”
“Stop, let me say something first.” You interrupt, “I'm not one to judge. You like what you... like, that's fine. Fantasising about people you know, okay. Acting it out with figures? That's one step away from abducting them and forcing them to do those actions for your enjoyment.”
>Twilight doesn't look you in the eyes.
“Anyway, I'll leave you to your... alone time. Before I do though, I need to show you something.”
>You pull out the fluffy fake p0ny and show it to her.
>“I-it's a doll? What's wrong with it?”
>You flip it around and pull up the tail.
>“Urgh! Where'd you get that? Anon, that's disgusting!”
“Hey! Don't go 'pot calling the kettle black' on me. These unicorns came into town earlier with some wagons and gave them out. They said they were from Celestia.”
>“There's no way the Princess would approve of such... perverted objects.”
“So says her star pupil.” You point out ironically.

>After leaving Twilight alone to complete her... activities, you make the decision to visit Canterlot. The Princess needs to explain herself. It'd have to wait until tomorrow though.
>You go to the bedroom to hit the sack. Your mind is exhausted after what you were just subjected to.
>Spike is still playing on the DS. He looks up and closes the console when he sees your drained expression.
>“What's wrong Anon?” He asks.
“Everything. My entire opinion about Twilight has just been flipped on its head.” You reply, “Promise me something Spike.”
>“What?”
“Never go into the basement under any circumstance. Your brain would probably implode if you did.”
>“Why? I go down there all the time. There's nothing scary or weird. Sure it can be dark but that's what glowstones are for.”
“Well don't go down those stairs if Twilight's in there on her own. Trust me, your mental health will be better off for it.”
>“...Okay? What did Twilight say about the doll?”
“Not much. I'm going to the capitol tomorrow to see the Princess so I can get some answers.”
>“Really? Want me to write a letter to Celestia?”
“Good idea. Tell her I'll meet her at the castle after noon. I need to know why all this is happening.”
>The dragon goes off to the library to do as you asked. You climb up to the upper alcove and get into your bed.
>You hope you won't get any disturbing nightmares tonight.