Another Story

I thought I would just take the time to tell you all something that has haunted me for years and years, and I've finally had the courage to say this story.

I was sexually assaulted by an ex-boyfriend when I was about 16/17 years old.

To this day, I have never felt clean again, and there are times to this day that I still think about how much it impacted me. I can still feel the pain of it when I just lay down in my bed. I was manipulated because he knew that I still had feelings for him, but I later found out that it was all an act. He didn't care about me, he just wanted to use me. I am constantly scared to this day of being abandoned, being alone, being left to fend for myself. It was pure emotional trickery and I was always made to feel as this was something that I deserved. And to this day, I never feel good about myself and I feel like everything I do isn't good enough for anyone. No matter what, I put myself down because of the way that I was treated, I thought it was my fault this happened. Even my past relationship, although brief, is still affecting me because I just feel as though I am not good enough, despite the reason it ending having nothing to do with me. I just wanted to come clean about this because it the feeling has never left me and I want this feeling to go. I want to be able to breathe again, and I want to be able to love myself again.

Please be kind to one another. Please be good to each other. Please love one another. Nobody deserves to go through this pain. No one.

- Maddi