Methfilly

Prologue (Part 1)
>be the filly
>although, you weren't always the filly
>you were quite contempt with just being anon, until it happened
>you remember it like it was yesterday
>twilight called you for some help with an experiment
>lo and behold, she said she had a way to return you home
>it half worked, a portal was made, and you passed through back to earth
>you were immediately relapsed back to equestria however
>and you were the filly
>irreversible, she said
>on the other hand, she seemed ecstatic to have a daughter
>she even gave you her last name
>Emerald Sparkle
>it could be worse, you could be stuck with a stupid name like Green Clover
>you knew then that you would have your revenge
>some way, some how
>fast forward to now
>chilling in the crystal castle
>well, palace
>you doubt this place could survive a seige
>suddenly, you hear a scream from the kitchen
>"buck! Out of coffee again!"
>fucking caffiene addict
>you trot over to the kitchen
"Jesus Christ, at this point why dont you just start snorting fucking meth"
>"what's Meth"
"oh, nevermi-"
>wait
>would you really introduce crystal methamphetamine to this world?
>over a small grudge?
>as you go to stroke your chin and realise you still dont have fingers, you decide
>yes, yes you would
"Its a strong stimulant, kind of like a super coffee you take up your nose. It's great for when you need to keep yourself awake, stay alert, or you just need more energy"
>"wow, that sounds great! Do you think you could make it here? Is there need for earth conditions? What's the atomic structure?
"Slow down, yes you could make it here, at least you should be able to. You guys have methylamine, right? P2P?"
>"yeah, i have some in the lab. I should be able to figure it out by the atomic structure, what is it?"
"10 Carbon 15 Hydrogen 1 Nitrogen"
>"ok ill be right backthanksbye!"
>before you know it, she's stormed off down the hall to her lab
>crazy nerd
>a few hours later
>"EMERAAAAAAALD!"
>you trot down the hall to the laboratory, to see a very tweaked out twilight at her desk
>"I DID IIIIIT~"
"thats great.. so, what now?"
>she rails another line before responding
>"Marketing! Everybody from farmworkers to school students will be ecstatic to try Twilight Sparkle's energy powder!"
>you just thaught you would turn her into a crankhead
>now she wants to spread this stuff to the outside world?
>and with her name plastered all over it?
>you could get behind this
"Sounds like a great idea! You would be helping heaps of people who simply need the energy boost"
>you say as the purple one hits another bump
"maybe the powder is a bit too gritty for the public. By all means sell it, but dont forget about the other markets. Students would prefer it in an energy drink, businessponies would probably prefer a pill more than anything"
>"yeah yeah yeahyeahyeah sounds great! sounds great!"
>jesus, she's hitting that pretty hard
>she's fucking loving it as well
>what are you thinking, of course she likes it
>its fucking meth
>you would suggest marketing it for glass pipes and needles, but pipes hard to use without fingers, and needles are even more festy than snuffing
>"hey.. You want some?"
>nope.avi
"n-nah, i think i'll just go to bed"
>"okie dokie, goodnight, sweetie!"
>as you walk out of the door, you hear her hit yet another fat line.
>next day
>your alarm goes off, signaling you to get ready for school
>getting up, you trot on over to the kitchen to grab your lunch
>…or not
"Twilight! Did you remember to make my lunch?"
>"Yeahyeahyeah ill do it in a second"
"Purple, im gonna be late!"
>"SWEET CELESTIA WILL YOU BE FUCKING PATIENT FOR A SECOND!!"
>whew lad
>"im sorry i snapped at you, mommy is a bit unnerved right now"
>no shit
>purple proceeds to make your lunch double time and sends you out the door
>on your way to school, you notice something
>were there always this many hobos?
>looking in a store window answers your question
>you see that overnight twilight managed to manufacture and distribute meth and meth products to the masses
>Twilight Sparkle's energy powder, Twilight Sparkle's energy pills, Twilight sparkle's energy drink,
>hell, she did one that you didn't even think about
>Twilight Sparkle's Energy Chewing Gum
>you've spent so long staring that you dont even notice somepony walk up to you
>"h-hey kid, y-you wanna earn some bits?"
>you have to admit, you dont have any money right now
"Ok, how?"
>"just head into that store and buy me some more of that energy powder alright kid?
"why not just buy it yourself"
>"shopkeeper cut me off man, just do it ill make it worth your while"
>the man proceeds to shove a pursefull of bits at you
"Ok ill be right back"
>"just get me the one bag man, keep the change"
>you walk into the store and buy a bag
>the shopkeeper gives you a glare while running it thrugh the til.
>"you know this stuff is really bad for you"
>jesus word spreads fast around here
"Yeah its just a sometime thing when i really need to concentrate"
>"between you and me, i think that Twilight is a horrible pony for inventing this stuff"
>you pay and leave
>handing the crystal to the crackie you just bought it for, you realise something
>once this stuff gets inevitably banned, you're a step ahead of the competition for the illegal trade
>hell, the only thing you need is a ponies pony and you're ready to become scarface
>school is relatively normal, although the colts at the back are unusually concentrated
>the usual lecture about history and basic math, although cheerile take time to express her worry about the new narcotic twilight invented
>yes, twilight invented..
>you head home uneventfully
>Fast forward 1 week
>studies have found meth = bad
>no shit sherlock
>twilight is now a hated figure
>you're sitting in the crystal palace reading a book when you hear the news over the radio
[i] >"This just in the royal government of The Principality of Equestria has officially declared Methamphetamine, the main ingrediant in the Twilight Sparkle's Energy line of products, a schedule III banned poison. Along with this, the chemical Methylamine, a main ingredient in the manufacture of the previously mentioned narcotic, has also been declared a schedule II regulated chemical. In other news, Princess Twilight Sparkle has been declared wanted for arrest by the Royal Canterlot Guard, for crimes against ponykind. In this reporter's opinion, for introducing that horrible stuff here, she deserves to rot in a jail cell until the end of time. [/i]
>well shit
>"ohh fuck! OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK"
"Calm down twilight, it'll be ok, just say how you thought it would help ponykind"
>"YOU DID THIS! YOU'RE THE REASON IM HERE! YOU TOLD ME HOW TO MAKE THIS STUFF!"
>*snoooooooooooooooort*
>twilight im sure she didn't mean anythng by i-
>"YOU SHUT YOUR FACE YOU INSOLENT LIZARD"
>spike proceeds to fly across the room straight into the hard wall
>head first
>that nigga dead
"Twilight! You're tweaking out!"
>"ADMIT IT! YOU DID THIS IN PURPOSE"
>suddenly you hear the door get busted in
[b]>CANTERLOT GUARD! GET ON THE GROUND NOW![/b]
"Yeah, i did."
>the guardsponies throw a device around twilight's horn
>you assume it stops one of the most powerful mages from using her magic
>good thinking
>as she gets dragged away, she continues rambling about how you are the one who really invented meth
>time to put on your best showpony smile
"Mommy please go with the nice men, they'll help you calm down and get off that horrible stuff"
>some time later
>purple smart got herself exiled to the badlands
>some kind of hex was placed on her so she couldn't enter equestrian territory ever again
>after a statement, some paperwork and a small cerimony for spike, you're back in the palace
>as twilight's only living heir, you inherit the place.
>and everything in it.
>you think to yourself, was it worth it?
>you wonder the halls as you ponder this question.
>you're sad that in all this Spike didn't make it
>you liked that lizard.
>as you walk on you stop at a door
>you open it and see the laboratory
>of course the guard swept the house and took all the meth in the house
>however, since the palace has a registered laboratory in it, they left the Methylamine
>money in the bank
>this town now has an underground drug culture running through it
>and its all yours for the taking.
>satisfied, you trot to your bedroom
>you set your alarm clock earlier than you used to
>after all, you have to make your own lunches from now on.
>good thing you're a grown-ass man inside.
>as you begin to drift off, you hear a loud smash come from the laboratory
>you quickly realise someone's breaking in through the window

Prologue (part 2)
>3 days before part 1 ended
>be Crystal Clear
>Orange coat, White mane Stallion
>Chemistry student at the Royal Canterlot University
>well, former student
>yep, you really fucked up this time
>gotta trot on home to the backwater town you grew up in because you just couldn't lay off the crystal
>fucking twilight
>how is this shit still legal
>you gotta give it credit tho
>god knows you would've failed that exam if you weren't clipping hard while studying
>you still cant believe clipping cought on as a phrase
>it makes sense, it does make a clipping sound when you crush it up under your hoof
>still sounds dangerously close to clopping
>oh shit
>you're train's here
>you board, feeling out of place with the amount of noble successes there are around
>fuck, its a good thing you still have your place
>you couldn't bare to see you're parents faces if you showed up on their doorstep
>you need a bump
>good think you still have about an 8 ball with you
>you nonchalantly crush a small crystal from your bag and hit it
>take me to happytown
>you know you need to be there right now
>you get a few dirty looks, but fuck em
>its still legal
>you recline in your seat and watch the countryside for the remainder of the trip
>stepping off the train, you quickly scan your surroundings
>yeah, this place hasn't changed a bit
"welcome to ponyville, rural shithole of the country"
>your sililoquy is heard and retorted by a familliar voice
>"ay Crys, it aint that bad"
>you turn around to see an old friend
"Hey, bro, its good to see you"
>Cane, always an unhelpful voice in a shitty situation
>still, it is good to see him
"Yo, you been taking care of my house? I better not go in there and find a pigsty"
>"buck no dude, i kept it like, clean and shit"
"lets just get moving"
>you do exactly that
>as you walk down the street, you see what meth has been doing to this place
"hey, have the guard come down on that purple bitch for causing all this yet?"
>"nah man, the cant. Its not like she's done anything like, book illegal, so they cant peg her for shit. Besides, crystal aint that bad man! You seem to like it"
"yeah, thats only because not being on it makes me want to break my own ribs to make myself feel anything."
>that may have been a bit of an exaduration
>you eventually reach the front door of your cottage
>home sweet home.
>"so, i guess i'll see you on the flipside"
"Sure thing, peace bro"
>"peace"
>you enter the interior of your humble abode
>its quaint
>certainly bigger than that piece of shit studio you were renting in canterlot
>fuck, why did you have to go back for that 170mm tube furnace
>you could've gotten off with all that glassware
>the methylamine
>and the 220mm tube furnace you got off with
>it would've done fine anyway
>still, you just gotta work on a smaller scale now
>not like you have much of a choice now
>you were always a believer in fate
>and if fate wants you to be a meth cook
>you will make the best damn crystal in town!
>day after next
>you took the one day to reajust yourself
>its amazing that ponies still buy meth underground to avoid tax
>not to mention that corporate assholes cut it
>you want strong, pure shit you go unbranded
>man you could use a hit
>you should focus tho
>you dont even know if anywhere in this town sells chemistry equiptment
>fuck it
>its been a day since you ran out
>stores have straight up stopped selling crystal
>exept for those weak ass energy drinks
>you decide to head out the front door
>go to Cane's place
>he's the big man now
>amazing
>you honestly took him to be so stupid as to snort himself to death the day after meth came oht
>whatever
>interrupting your monologue
>you're at the main door of his pad
>knock-ity knock
>patience
>as the door flies open you immediatly see how fancy the place looks inside
>"Yo, Crys, what it do?"
"yeah nothin much, what about you?"
>"come in man, my house your house"
>you both step in
"looks like crime really does pay"
>"buck yea brother, its like, nice in here"
"yeah, right on"
>you take a seat on his couch
>one of those big L shaped ones
>"so, what brings you here"
"I - er, im a little short on crystal, was wondering if you could hook me up"
>"yeah, sure thing man. 10 bits for an 8 ball"
"woha, it wasn't even that expensive in the store yo"
>"price is the price man, i'll drop it to 50 bits for the full ounce since we got history"
"Thats actually a good deal, bulk sale helps you sell mad volume my man"
>"damn straigt yo, now get with the Bs"
"yeah sur-"
>shit
>you spent your last 20 bits on the train ticket and a hot meal
"shit nevermind man im short on G"
>"ay no problem man i know you're good for it, just pay me back next week when you get your lab up and start slinging mad volume"
"Cheers man. better yet, ill just give you 2 ounces back"
>"this is what i'm talkin about! We're gonna make a lot of money together"
>you walk home with your ounce and good sights on the horizon
>next day
>woken up at midday after a night long meth binge
>how the hell did you go through a quarter in one night?
>might as well check in on the events on the radio
 "in other news, Former Princess Twilight Sparkle was arrested this morning charged with crimes against ponykind, manufacture and possesion of a schedule 3 poison, and 1st degree murder following the royal decisiont to list methamphetamine as a shedule 3 poison, along with it's main ingrediant, Methylamine. Twilight was sentanced to permenant exile, while her daughter Emerald Sparkle remains in custody for the time being."
>holy shit she's finally being punished?
>about fucking time!
>although, personally you would rather see that bitch publicly hang
>you don't just ruin half a country for profit.
>wait
>this shit's illegal now
>that mean's
>*knock*
>*knock*
>you trot on over to the door and answer
>it's Cane
>and he doesn't look happy
"yo, what's up?"
>"yo yourself. Look, things have changed. This shit is illegal now, so prices have gone up"
"gone up? How much are they now?"
>"100 bits"
>by celestia
"100 bits an ounce? I guess there are more risks-"
>"nonono that's 100 bits an 8 ball, its 500 an ounce"
>holy shit
"Holy shit"
>"holy shit indeed. So, i'm gonna need that back if you can't pay
"Look man, i've already gone through a quart-"
>Cane proceeds to grab a bat
"bbbut i'll get you your meth i swear! And you can have the other 3 quarts back right now"
>he lowers the bat
>"2 ounces like we said"
"yeah, minus the 3/4 from that"
>"no, 2 ounces, in a week. Or else, they're gonna be scraping up pieces of skull off your floor. And im only making that deal because we have history"
"Thanks man, you wont regret this i swear!"
>cane closes the door behind him
>oh fuck
>you need to set up a lab and cook 2 ounces in a week
>with methylamine controlled now?
>motherfucker
>how the fuck are you gonna get the chemicals?
>and a lab
>wait
>the absence of a certain purple horse from a certain crystal palace comes to mind
>yeah, you'll go at night
>break into her lab through a window or something
>head in and glass up everything you can
>that place is vacant now that twilight is exiled and she murdered her butler.
>and so you wait
>waiting until midnight was hard
>so was psyching yourself up
>man a rail would've done you good
>too bad that cocksucker took your glass
>and threatend to paint your floor brain pink
>still, you go.
>it's a short walk to the palace
>you remember visiting the place when you were a teenager on a field trip
>how time flies
>well, time to work
>you grab the rope you brought and swing it over a particularly geometric spot of the wall
>thank god for faithful crystal construction
>you climb up and smash the window to get in
>fucking jackpot
>a fully set up lab
>complete with all the chemicals you could ever need
>you check the cupboads to make sure the place has methylamine
>you're damn right it does
>heh, brings a whole new meaning to the name
>"Crystal Palace"
>you're sure it's gonna become your crystal pala-
>"YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE FOOL
>you turn to see a small green filly right in time to watch her knock you out with one fine swing of a bat

Chapter 1: An Unlikely Partnership
>be the filly
>some methhead just broke into the lab
>luckily before he boosted anything you whacked him across the head with a baseball bat
>the fuck do you play baseball with hooves anyway?
>you decide to tie him to a chair
>after all, if you are to take over this town's crystal business, you're gonna need some info
>surely since things went south than legal he has to be getting it from somewhere
>and he definatly didn't stockpile before it went illegal
>otherwise why would he be breaking into your lab
[o]>"ahh.. fuck my head.. oi you bette- what in the world?"[/o]
>oh, i guess he's awake
[o]>"hey little filly, did you tie me up? Look, can you let me go? Please?"[/o]
"Not a chance, at least until you answer some questions"
[o]>"thats not nice, dont you want to be a nice filly?"[/o]
"Shut the fuck up and listen to me"
[o]>"y'know, you shouldn't use words like that-" [/o]
"I said shut up!"
>he stays silent
"Now, what were you doing in my lab"
[o]>"i was just looking around" [/o]
"Wrong answer, you were looking for more crystal to jack up your snout, weren't you?"
[o]>"whoa, what do you take me for? so-" [/o]
"-me kind of drug addict? yes. So cut the crap and tell me. Are you here freelancing, or do you work for a bigger bitch?"
>you can see this guy getting more and more confused as to what kind of situation he's in
[o]>"okay, you wanna know the truth kid? I'm 500 bits in the hole, and i need to pay off my debts, then i'm never gonna touch that stuff again" [/o]
>finally, something that isn't complete bullshit
"you see, isn't the truth so much easier than making up stuff? Except, there's one bit i don't believe"
[o]>"hey kid, that the real stuff" [/o]
"Nah nah nah, i believe your story, the bit i don't buy is the whle "never touching that stuff again"
[o]>"a- well- you got me there. But hey, if i dont pay off this debt, bad things will happen to me! So be a good little filly and help me out. Please?" [/o]
"Counter offer: there's no crystal in the house. Cops took it all when they arrested my quote unquote mother."
[o]>"what do you mean, "quote unquote" [/o]
>shit
>thank fuck the official story was adoption
"i was adopted, the fuck do you think i showed up here without a father, royal pregancy, and never being here as a baby? I was born in Manehatten"
[o]>"right, im just being silly" [/o]
>understatement of the century
"ANYWAY, even though the cops took all the clip, they left the lab and all the chemicals intact. So, you know the business, and i was here firsthoof when twilight was making this stuff. You may have two bit recipies out there, but i know the best ways."
[o]>"what are you getting at?" [/o]
"I'm thinking, together we can make the most chemically pure methamphetamine on the market. We could take over this town."
[o]>"wait a minute, are you saying we should partner up?" [/o]
"Yea, we should partner up"
[o]>"heck no, look. You're just a foal, you've got your whole life ahead of you. Just let me go and i'll face the music" [/o]
>the fuck is this guy saying?
"Are you telling me, that you are being offered the chance to get rich, let alone pay off your debts. And you would rather get murdered than work with a little filly? That whore twilight left me a tarnished name, and an empty castle. And you're telling me that the biggest chance i have at immense success is out of the question because im just a foal? Well let me tell you something, bucko. This little foal, beat the shit out of you and tied you up because you're breaking and entering. Now, do you know what Castle Doctrine is? Because i could've easily enforced it on your sorry ass. But instead you want to get murdered by somepony over 500 bits, am i correct?"
[o]>"ok, look. If this is what you want to do with your life, fine. But noone gets rich until we pay off my debts. Then i'll hook you up with Cane and you'll see if you want to stay in this business." [/o]
"One question: Who the fuck is cane?"
[o]>"he's the pony who controls the crystal trade in this town. Deep Purple coat, light blue mane, can't miss him" [/o]
"Ok, i think this can work."
>you untie him
>he takes a minute to regain himself, then stands still
>staring off into space
"Cmon, we have work to do"
>no response
"Lets go zigga, cmon!"
>finally he turns to you and follows you to the lab
>in the lab
>your new partner seems eager to get started
[o]>"so, what kind of tube furnace you use here?" [/o]
>where does this guy think he is, a storage unit lab?
"170mm. I told you, this place is legit. Any more stupid questions?"
>the pony shakes his head
"Alright. So, put on your respirator, and tell me what brought you here."
>as you begin working, he recounts the events leading up to the break in
>as you're pouring the acetone into the reaction flask, you feel the need to ask
"So you got kicked out of college for trying to get rich quick"
[o]>"yeah, kinda stupid when i look back on it [/o]
"Well, were you stupid enough to try cooking in their lab? Or were you stealing equiptment"
[o]>"stealing, im not stupid enough to try cooking in their labs [/o]
"Are you sure, Mr. 'im gonna let this guy float 2 ozzers of meth to me and not expet to get bashed', actually, come to think of it what is your name anyway?"
[o]>Crystal Clear, yours? [/o]
"Emerald Sparkle, pleasure to meet"
>you both turn to the counter as you siphon the layer of liquid meth into a tray
"Now we stick this bad boy into the fridge and wait"
[o]>"whoa, won't putting it in the fridge make it take longer to react? [/o]
"Yeah, but less of the meth will evaporate giving us larger crystals. How the fuck did you pass chemistry?"
[o]>"hey! I was just saying." [/o]
>you look at a clock
"Look, it's half passed 12, how about you go home and sleep and come back in the morning"
[o]>"ok sure, see you" [/o]
"Peace. man."
>you look at the window and shattered glass and figure people will probably assume it got broken by twilight
[o]>"hey emerald?" [/o]
"Down the hall, big door on the right, cant miss it."
[o]>"ok thanks" [/o]
>dumbass
>you take a quick streach before heading off to sleep
>6AM
>you wake up as early on weekends as you do weekdays so you dont fall out of a sleep schedule
>at least thats what twiggles always told you
>anyways, you have work to do
>heading down to the lab after a quick breakfast, you take the tray out and place it on the counter
>you grab a ball peen hammer and get to work breaking it up
>heh, just like on Breaking Bad
>except in reality, pure scanté is clear as glass
>better not use the term scanté around anypony
>there is no spanish here
>you finish shattering the batch and get to work bagging it
>man working a scoop with hooves is hard
>note to self: get Crystal to do this with his horn
>fucking wizards
>after a while, you get it all bagged up
>putting it on the scale the whole batch comes out to 1.1 pounds
>nice
>you take some smaller bags and divide it up into 17 1oz bags
>money in the bank
>like clockwork, once you finish the last bag you hear a knock on the door
>running down and opening it, you see a familliar orange stallion at the door
"What, you too good for the window now?"
[o]>"whatever, you got the stuff? [/o]
"17 ounces of the purest glass this side of the celestial sea"
[o]>"there is no glass on the other side of the celestal sea" [/o]
"You're right, and you know why?"
[o]>"ill bite, why?" [/o]
"Because we haven't sold it to them yet"
[o]>"look can we just go? I've got about 1 hour before i'm scratching my stumps in a cardboard box" [/o]
>and so we go
>we show up to a house on the other side of town
>pretty beaten up outside, but through the windows you can see some obvious signs of wealth
>good paintings, stereo system, etc.
>Crystal knocks on the door and but a few moments later the previously described pony opens the door
>"Crys, good to see you! You got something for me?"
[o]>"sure do, 2 ounces just like i told you" [/o]
>"i knew i could count on you! wait, what's with the filly?"
[o]>"oh, well... [/o]
"I cooked that glass in your hands, and there's plenty more where it came from if you're buying"
>"is that right? Yo Crys, you really partnering up with foal?"
"As far as i can see, your debt is paid for, so you're talking to me if you want to talk business"
>"really? Little miss methlord here says she's the one i should buy from. That right?"
"nah i'm handling production, he'll be the one primarily talking business."
>[o]"yeah, so if you're buying we should talk price, you said 500 an ounce, but ill have you know this is the purest crystal out there."
>the deep purple pony takes a quick bump out of one of the bags and is immediatly taken back by it's purity
>"holy shit, that kicks like a son of a bitch! Sure thing man, how's 600 an ounce sound?"
"650"
>"bold words coming from someone half my size"
>he steps up to you
>but you stand your ground
>"heh, i like this foal! she's got pep. Sure thing. How about you come buy same time next week and i'll buy everything you have."
"fantastic. We're gonna make alot of money together!"
>he closes the door and you both leave
>as you're walking home Crys ask's you a question
[o]>"how much money are we looking at exactly?" [/o]
"Well lets say we cook 1 pound a week give or take, 16 ounces in a pound, at 650 bits a week that's... 10400 bits divided by 2 comes to 5200 bits each"
[o]>"holy shit, what are you gonna do with that kind of cash" [/o]
"Preferably put it towards my adult dream"
[o]>"and what would that be?" [/o]
"Never having to work a day in my life!"
>you both chuckle as you walk on before coming to a crossroad
"you coming back to the palace?"
[o]>"nah i gotta get home, see you on the flipside" [/o]
"Yeah sure thing, peace"
>you trot back to the palace
>as you head back in you immediatly collapse on the couch
>you are barely 10 minutes into a nap when you hear knocking on the door
>you clip clop on over and open it
>what you see surprises you
>well, surprises is an understatement
>you see a familliar white stallion, and his pink alicorn wife
>oh shit
"Uncle Shiny, Aunt Candence, what brings you here"
[p]>"we're your new guardians! did you really expect the government to let a little filly live all on her own?" [/p]
>oh shit
"But what about your job as captain of the royal canterlot guard?"
[p]>"Princess Celestia said i should come to Ponyville to take care of my orphaned niece, also to head the team cracking down on the horrible stuff that ruined your mother's brain" [/p]
>this could complicate things

Chapter 2: Pseudoscience
>be the filly
>Shining Armor just gote done raiding your lab
>having legal guardians is nice, but they could be less pushy
>he said he should get rid of anything connecting the lab to methamphetamine
>clean slate, i guess
>but really, did he have to throw out all your precurser?
>cunt
>"so, where do you want to go for dinner?"
>you resist the urge to start reeeing for tendies
"dunno, pizza?"
[p]>"oooh, pizza sounds good[/p]
>fucking peetzer poner
>in ageement, you go out to the local pizza parlor
>after you all arrive, you place your orders
>you never understood how ponies knead dough with hooves
>the waiter comes back with your pizzas
>nothin but vegetables & cheese
>its a good thing you actually like vegetarian pizza
>as you dig in, you notice a certain orange pony glaring at you from a corner booth
>son of a bitch
>he nods in the direction of the restroom, probably hinting to meet you there
>you painstakingly resist the urge to explain out loud from across the room how retarded that is, so you motion towards the door
>he nods confirmingly
>you finish up your dinner and tell Shining that you want to get some fresh air
>"sure thing, dont be too long and we'll meet you back at the castle"
>you head across the street and head into an ajacent alley
>you wait for a few minutes, and Crystal meets you there
[o]>"i have several questions, first and foremost being why in tartarus are you eating pizza with the feds?" [/o]
"Long story, but-"
[o]>"no i want to hear it"[/o]
"That 'fed' is my legal uncle, and now my guardian. Yes, that means he lives at the castle, yes that means we can't cook there anymore, and no, i'm not a rat."
[o]>"i guess that makes sense, but what are we gonna do to cook? I have a basement where i can set up a lab, but you'll need to smuggle out precurser" [/o]
"oh it gets better. That dick decided that it would be appropriate to take all my methylamine and Phenylacetone and pour it out the window"
[o]>"you are joking." [/o]
"Dont worry, i have a plan. I'll swing by your place after school and explain"
[o]>"this better be good or i'm skipping town and i suggest you do too" [/o]
>you both leave

>after an uneventful day at school, you swing by a drugstore to pick up a few things before heading to Crystal Clear's place
>you knock on the door, and he lets you in leading you to the kitchen
>you both sit at a dining table and you put your rather heavy bag down
[o]>"so, do you have a few gallons of P2P in that bag, or a miracle?" [/o]
>you reach into the bag and retieve a box of cold medicine, placing it on the table
[o]>"what, you got the flu or something?" [/o]
"This is the answer to our problem"
[o]>"unless you know somepony that lives out in the boonies who want to trade cold medicine for methylamine, i'm not seeing it [/o]
"We are not going to need Methylamine. We are going to use a substitution on the pseudoephedrine in these cold pills with red phosphorous and iodine and preform a acid/base reduction to purify it into Methamphetamine"
>he's in shock
[o]>"..so no p2p"[/o]
"No p2p"
[o]>"you're telling me we can make actual meth, out of cold pills?" [/o]
"yep."
[o]>"YESS BITCH! humph, so, what's the plan of attack?" [/o]
"We're gonna need a heating pad, round bottom boiling flasks, bekers, and a shit load of cold pills, iodine crystals, and matchbooks"
[o]>"matchbooks?" [/o]
"For Red phospherous, unless you've got a pyrotechnic's permit and can buy it over the counter"
[o]>"right, well i've got all the glassware, and i'm assuming that you have supplies in that bag"[/o]
"you assue correctly. Well? Cmon lets get started"
>you both head into the basement and set up a lab with the missmatched glassware Crys has
>all adequite, exept for having to substitute a boiling flask with a rather large erlenmeyer flask
>he says it wont crack, and you feel safe in assuming so
>you get to work

>one meth cooking montage that would get the writer arrested if he described it here later
>you look at the tray of pure glass meth before you
[o]>"so this stuff should be just as strong as the p2p stuff, right?[/o]
"Actually, it's even stronger. By using pseudoephedrine we eliminate the L-Methamphetamine from being synthesized"
[o]>"L-Meth?" [/o]
"There are two types of meth, L-Meth and N-Meth. N-Meth is much stronger than L-Meth, so you want to produce as much of that over the L-Meth as possible"
[o]>"how do you know so much about this?"
>you best shut up before you hint that you're not from equestria
"Twilight kept very maticulous notes. She wrote that it might be possible to synthesize meth from ephedrine but wrote it off as useless since the p2p cook worked fine"
[o]>"so we're the only ones to know about this method, right?"[/o]
"As far as i know"
[o]>"sweet celestia, we can make as much as we want, while everyone else fights over methylamine!" [/o]
"We have the methods here to become kingpins, you and me, ruling the steeets"
[o]>"the feds would catch up to us if we flaunt our wealth though"[/o]
"Absolutely, the nail that stands tall gets hammered down"
[o]>"yeah, i'll weigh this up and bag it. I'll see you tomorrow at Cane's place" [/o]
"Yeah, bye"
>you leave and head straight home
>reaching your front door you head inside
"I'm Home!"
>you see shining armor and candence sitting on a couch nearby
>"you took a while, young mare. What took you so long"
>you look at a clock and see that its 5:30
>fuck where were you for 2 hours
>extra curricular?
>yeah that'll work
>but what?
>chemistry tutoring?
>no thats way too toungue in cheek
>wait
>music tutoring
>that'll work
"I signed up for music tutoring"
[p]>"wow! What instrument?" [/p]
>maybe not a good idea
>but, good thing you can already play
"Guitar"
[p]>"Guitar? Without magic? How do you work the frets though?[/p]
>"hey, if Octavia can work strings with hooves i'm sure my little filly can too"
"Look, i'm tired, can i go to my room now?"
>"sure, but i want you to practice at home if you want to get good. I'll take you guitar shopping if you like"
"No thanks, there's already a guitar in my room, the previous owner left it"
>"right, i remember anon."
[p]>"he was weird."[/p]
>you head to your room
>you weren't lying about the guitar
>its one of the only things you have from earth
>you were innawoods when you fell through the portal to equestria twilight made
>so you had everything on your back at the time
>one acoustic guitar, one khukuri, a rucksack containing 6 MRE's and 400 rounds of .223 for your AR15, said AR15, a walkman, and a cassette copy of Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd.
>good thing you were always anal about analog music
>no MP3s in equestria

Chapter 3: Catalyst
>be the filly
>with Crystal Clear on the way to sell your current inventory to Cane
>you did ask Crys, he doesn't know if he has a last name
>you figure asking could sour things
>he seems like a less than stable character
>should be a nice payday
>20,150 bits divided by 2
>Still haven't figured out how to into money laundering
>or if you even need it here
>would be handy, most people like to know why the suddenly got rich
[o]>"how much meth exactly do we have here?"[/o]
"A little over 2 pounds."
[o]>"so you're gonna be sitting on 10 grand, at however old you are, under the same roof as the feds"[/o]
"Best place to hide is in plain sight"
[o]>"there's something you're not telling me, i can feel it"[/o]
>you arrive at Cane's place
>knock knock knock
>"i was wondering when you would show up, come in! come in!"
>you proceed into the house
>the interior is messy, but overall well furnished
>Cane leads you into the lounge room
>you both take a seat on the couch while Cane takes a seat on one of the two recliners across from you
>the other is taken up by a blue pony you've never seen before
>"so i never asked, what's your name, filly?"
>it might be smart to not give out your real name
>don't want this dude to find out your adoptive uncle is head of the meth taskforce
"Green Hornet, you?"
>"Holing Cane, but just call me Cane."
>Holing Cane?
>no wonder he's such a nigger
"Pleasure. Now, let's talk business"
>"Yeah, break out the product"
>Crystal dumps the some 31 bags of meth on the table
>he seperates one bag each from the seperate batches
[o]>"ok. This bag was produced by the standard methylamine formula"[/o]
>wait, is this retard going to tell him about the pseudo cook?
[o]>"but this bag was produced by a new formula E-Green Hornet came up with"[/o]
>"what's special about that?"
[o]>"try it and you'll see"[/o]
>he obliges
>"HOLY SHIT THIS KICKS LIKE A YAK IN MATING SEASON"
>and he would know how?
[p]>"it can't be that good"[/p]
>you forgot there was someone else sitting there
>"what did you just say"
[p]>"i'm just saying"[/p]
>"YOU DONT JUST SAY, THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING"
[p]>"whoa chill, shit maybe it is that good. Maybe i could get some"[/p]
>"so first you diss my judgement, and now you're asking for free clips?!"
[p]>"if you dont want to sha-"[/p]
>WHAM
>hoof to the face
>followed to a scrambling to the floor and a flurry of punches
>smack
>"TAKE"
>smack
>"THIS"
>smack
>"YOU"
>smack
>"SON"
>smack
>"OF"
>smack
>"A"
>smack
>this time with alot more blood spurting everywhere
>"oh shit"
>that nigga dead
>real dead

>"louie? LOUIE TALK TO ME!"
>he shakes the blue corpse trying to get a response
"damn shame. Anyways, we best be going-"
>"YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE, HORNET!"
"Cane, he needs a hospital, or else a bodybag"
[o]>"i think the latter"[/o]
>"yous need to help me get rid of him, no trace"
[o]>"bury him?"[/o]
>"no somepony would find him eventually"
"If you really need to get rid of him with no trace, then our best bet would be Chemical Disencorporation."
[o]>"a- th- ..fuck, that's messed up[/o]
>"fucking science nerds, what does that mean in ponish?"
[o]"Dissolving in strong acid"[/o]
>"now that's the best idea you two have had all day!"
>this guy is fucking crazy
>he didn't even flinch
"Crys, i need you to head down to the store, get a heap of Lye and Muriatic Acid. If you can't find the acid look for muriatic acid based drain cleaner."
[o]>"what are we gonna put it in?"[/o]
"Uhh... Get a tarp. we'll go into the everfree, dig a big hole, line it with the tarp, dump him in and fill it with a mixture of the two chemicals. Oh and get three respirators"
[o]>"got it. I'll be going now?"[/o]
"Yeah."
>he leaves
>you and Cane get the body formerly known as Louie prepped for transport
>aka you load him into a wheelbarrow and cover him in dirt
>you also take the oppertunity to get paid
>Crystal returns and you all head off towards the everfree
>after a brisk walk you arrive at a clearing that should be far away enough from civilization that you shouldn't inadvertantly be gassing anyone
>you opt to dig the hole since erf hoer strength
>Cane and Crys both watch out for timberwolves and shit
>once it's deep enough you all put on your gas masks
>you roll him into the hole
>Crystal opts to pour in the chemicals so that you all have do your part in the disposal
>one hoof washes the other
>you made sure that the wind was blowing the opposite direction to where you were standing
>once the body is about half way done melting you fill in the hole and rake over some leaves
>it should finish on its own
>and if not it probably won't be found for a while
>even then it almost certainly won't be recognised as a pony
"Remember: this never happened."
>they both nod as you each walk out of the forest in your seperate ways
>you enter your home to find some packed suitcases
>"Emerald, Princess Celestia has asked me back for a meeting, so we're going to take a weekend holiday to Canterlot!"
"That sounds great!"
>it certainly does
>getting as far away from that half melted face as possible sounds fucking peachy

Chapter 4: Semper Fi
>be the filly
>eating dinner in Canterlot
>Shiny and Candy took you here because shining had a meeting with the princesses
>why the fuck are they princess and not queens anyways?
>Anyways, it turned out that the Royal Guard requested Shining back so he could train some new recruits
>apparently nobody else has gotten through to them
>"They're acting like foals, they have no place in the guard, but there's something special about them, i can feel it"
>maybe they're just special
>huehue like de retardo
>"i'm sure you can reach them, if you can't who can?"
>"maybe that's just it. Maybe nobody can reach them"
"Well if you ask me, if they're acting like foals, maybe only a foal can reach them"
>as a great prophet once said, 'if you wanna reach those kids on the steet, then you gotta do a rhyme to a hip hop beat"
>"Maybe you're right Emerald. In fact, how would you like to help your uncle at work tommorow
>beats sightseeing
>as amazing as the views are from the side of a mountain, they get old after a while
"If you think it would help, unless Aunt Candence had anything planned"
>"no, i think it would be a good experience! Maybe you could look into becoming a guardsmare when you're older"
>i fuckin' doubt it
>that's be a larf
>although you should be nice
"maybe, i dunno. what's the pay like?"
>"Money isn't the most important thing in life. You see alot of meth cooks who only got into it because they thought it was a get rich quick scheme"
"Fair point."
>you finish your meal and head to bed shortly after
>shining wants you up at Revile
>please for the love of god let Equestrian Revile be at 1300
>"Emerald! Up and At 'Em!"
>fuck off 5 more minutes
>what time is it anyway?
>0530
>so no such luck
"alright, i'm up i'm up"
>"don't worry, i'll be sitting by the wall in case anything happens"
>you wash up and leave for the barracks
>you both arrive a few minutes before revile begins playing
>you both enter
>"Alright! Everybody up at attention! I've got a treat for you"
>the recruits lazily get up to attention next to their racks
>"Now, you haven't been the best squadron, not even close. You've all been acting like little colts and fillies! So, if you're gonna act like foals you aught to be instructed by one"
>he turns to you
>"honey, they're all yours"
>wow he's a limpdick
>no wonder they don't respect them
>time to work
>initiate Gunny.exe
>100%

"ALRIGHT! I AM EMERALD SPARKLE YOUR NEW DRILL INSTRUCTOR! FROM NOW ON YOU WILL SPEAK ONLY WHEN SPOKEN TO, AND THE FIRST AN LAST WORDS TO COME OUT OF YOUR FILTHY SEWER HOLES WILL BE SIR, DO YOU MAGGOTS UNDERSTAND THAT?"
>"sir, yes sir"
"BULLSHIT I CAN'T HEAR YOU, SOUND OFF LIKE YOU GOT A PAIR!"
>"sir, yes sir!"
"IF YOU LADIES LEAVE MY BASE, IF YOU SURVIVE RECRUIT TRAINING, YOU WILL BE A WEAPON! YOU WILL BE A MINISTER OF DEATH PRAYING FOR WAR! BUT UNTIL THAT DAY YOU ARE PUKES, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT UNORGANIZED GRABASSTIC PIECES OF AMPHIBIAN SHIT! BECAUSE I AM HARD YOU WILL NOT LIKE ME! BUT THE MORE YOU HATE ME THE MORE YOU WILL LEARN! I AM HARD BUT I AM FAIR! THERE IS NO RACIAL BIGOTRY HERE! I DO NOT LOOK DOWN ON ZIGGERS, HIPPS, MULES OR GRIFFONS! HERE YOU ARE ALL EQUALLY WORTHLESS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?"
>"sir, yes sir!"
"BULLSHIT I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
>"SIR, YES SIR!"
>you turn to the recruit next to you
"WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SCUMBAG?"
>"SIR! PRIVATE BROWN SIR!"
"BULLSHIT FROM NOW ON YOU'RE PRIVATE SNOWBALL, DO YOU LIKE THAT NAME?"
>"SIR YES SIR!"
[o]>"this is a little more than a regular filly" [/o]
>you hear coming from across the room
"Who said that? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT? WHO'S THE SLIMY LITTLE COMMUNIST TWINKLE TOED COCKSUCKER OVER HERE, WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH WARRANT?"
>the recruits stay still
"NOBODY HUH? THE FAIRY FUCKING GODMOTHER SAID IT! OUT-FUCKING-STANDING I WILL P.T. YOU ALL UNTIL YOU FUCKING DIE! I WILL P.T. YOU UNTIL YOUR ASSHOLES ARE SUCKING UP BUTTERMILK!"
>you turn to one of the recruits
>"WAS IT YOU, YOU SCROUNGY LITTLE FUCK?"
[p]>"SIR NO SIR!"[/p]
>"YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING WORM, I BET IT WAS YOU!"
[p]>"SIR NO SIR!"[/p]
[o]>"SIR I SAID IT SIR!"[/o]
"Well, no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian, Private Joker? I admire your honesty! Hell I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister!"
>you deck him on one swing thanks to good ol' erf filly strength
"YOU LITTLE SCUMBAG! I'VE GOT YOUR NAME, I'VE GOT YOUR ASS! YOU WILL NOT LAUGH, YOU WILL NOT CRY! YOU WILL LEARN BY THE NUMBERS I WILL TEACH YOU! NOW GET UP!"
>he complies
"YOU HAD BEST UN-FUCK YOURSELF OR I WILL RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!,
[o]>"SIR YES SIR!"[/o]
>you turn back to the other recruit
"WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?"
[p]>"SIR, EXCUSE FOR WHAT, SIR?[/p]
"I'M ASKING THE FUCKING QUESTIONS AROUND HERE PRIVATE! CAN I BE IN CHARGE FOR A MOMENT"
[p]>"SIR YES SIR!"[/p]
"WELL THANK YOU VERY MUCH, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU FROM, ANYWAY, PRIVATE?"
[p]>"SIR APPLELOOSA SIR"[/p]
"APPLELOOSA HOLY DOG SHIT ONLY STEERS AND QUEERS COME FROM APPLELOOSA PRIVATE COWBOY! AND YOU DONT LOOK MUCH LIKE A STEER TO ME SO I GUESS THAT KINDA NARROWS IT DOWN, DO YOU SUCK DICKS?"
[p]>"SIR, NO SIR![/p]
"ARE YOU A PETER PUFFER?"
[p]>"SIR NO SIR![/p]
"I BET YOU'RE THE KINDA PONY TO FUCK ANOTHER STALLION IN THE ASS AND NOT EVEN HAVE THE COMMON GODDAMNED COURTESY TO GIVE HIM A REACH AROUND!"
[p]>"SIR NO SIR!"[/p]
>you hear shining dying of laughter in the back as you move to the next recruit
"DID YOUR PARENTS HAVE ANY CHILDREN WHO LIVED?"
>"sir yes sir!"
"I BET THEY REGRET THAT! YOU'RE SO UGLY YOU COULD BE A MODERN ART MASTERPIECE! WHAT'S YOUR NAME, FATBODY?
>"sir, lemon lawrence sir!"
>this is too perfect
"LAWRENCE, LAWRENCE OF WHAT, ARABIA?"
>"sir no sir!"
"THAT NAME SOUNDS LIKE ROYALTY, ARE YOU ROYALTY?"
>"sir no sir!"
"DO YOU SUCK DICKS?"
>"sir no sir!"
"I DONT LIKE THE NAME LAWRENCE, ONLY FAGGOTS AND SAILORS ARE NAMED LAWRENCE, FROM NOW ON YOU'RE GOMER PYLE!
>"sir yes sir!"
"DO YOU THINK I'M CUTE, PRIVATE PYLE, DO YOU THINK I'M FUNNY?"
>"sir no sir!"
"THEN WIPE THAT DISGUSTING GRIN OFF YOUR FACE!"
>"sir yes sir!"
>...
"WELL ANY FUCKING TIME, SWEETHEART!"
>"sir i'm trying, sir!"
"PRIVATE PYLE I'M GONNA GIVE YOU 3 SECONDS, EXACTLY 3 FUCKING SECONDS TO WIPE THAT STUPID LOOKING GRIN OFF YOUR FACE, OR I WILL GOUGE OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND SKULLFUCK YOU! ONE, TWO, THREE!"
>"sir, i can help it-"
"BULLSHIT GET ON THE GROUND!"
>he gets down
>you extend your front right leg perpendicular to yourself
"NOW CHOKE YOURSELF"
>he puts his hooves to his throat
"GODDAMN IT, WITH MY ARM, NUMBNUTS!"
>he puts his throat to your inner elbow and you begin squeezing
"ARE YOU THROUGH GRINNING?"
>"sir yes sir"
>shining calls to you from the distance
[o]>"emerald, that's enough!"[/o]
"BULLSHIT I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
>"sir yes sir!
[o]>"Emerald! You're hurting him![/o]
"BULLSHIT I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU! SOUND OFF LIKE YOU GOT A PAR"
>"SIR YES.. SIR!!"
>you let go
"Private Pyle, you best start shitting me tiffany cufflinks, or i will seriously fuck you up"
>"*huff* Sir yes sir!"
>you head over to shining and leave
>"Emerald that wasn't what i was expecting, and was unnessesarily cruel"
"You said you saw guards in them despite their misbehaivour, now look at them, they're standing straight, and ready to eat their own guts and ask for seconds"
>he looks at he recruits standing perfectly still at attention
>"maybe you're right, but it still seemed cruel"
"if they can't handle a few love taps, how are they gonna concentrate in battle when there's chaos all around them? Besides, i was going to let Pyle go on the third time no matter how loud he is. It's all about building respect. Making sure they only screw up once"
>"well it does seem to have delivered results, but i still think you took it too far"
"Well, if you dont want to go that level you can always threaten to bring me back"
>you both laugh as you return to your hotel room
>you head to your bed to get some more shuteye, but you find a letter there
>you open it to find something that shocks you
>a scuff of orange fur taped to a note
[i]>"If you want to help your friend, i suggest you come to my place alone, Emerald Sparkle." [/i]
>oh fuck

Chapter 5: Iron and Sulphur
>be the filly
>where were you?
>oh yeah
>oh fuck
>so el sociopathio del crankhead Mr. Cane found out who you really are
>and he thinks you're a narc
>fuck him
>although he did kidnap your partner in crime
>you consider leaving Crystal Clear for dead
>but then again Cane would just come after you
>that and, yknow, morals.
>luckily those idiots that your uncle turned guardian was sent to train have been shaping up (no thanks to him), so you're going home
>next thing you know the royal guard will have a crayon shortage
>fucking jarheads
>the train pulls to the station and the three of you head home
>you make your way to your room and begin mustering up a plan
>what do you do?
>he's bound to have boys with him, so bum rushing is out of the question
>would he listen to reason? lol no
>bribery? Screw that
>hit the pipe to show you not five-o? Hell no
>you can't just shoot him
>or can you?
>you glance over at your AR, hanging diligently on the wall
>cops would probably think it's someone setting off fireworks or something since there are no guns here
>they probably won't show up until someone hollers at them about a domestic disturbance or something
>but how the fuck do you work a trigger without fingers?
>what you would give for a battle saddle™©®
>you collapse on your bed
>think
>you glance at nothing
>until you notice something
>some construction work outside
>specifically the crane they're using
>with lots of pulley systems
>wait
>what if you used a string or something, tied it to the trigger, and pulled it with your mouth
>fucking genius
>you grab the rifle off of the wall
>heavier than you remember
>but then again you also haven't held this thing since you were human
>you take a length of twine and MacGyver yourself up a string tied to a trigger
>tying shit with your mouth and hooves was easier than you expected
>what is harder, is finding a good position to aim and fire at the same time
>even if you stand on your hind hooves (something you practiced regularly when you first transformed to piss off twilight), you can't get in a position where you can yank your head to fire while keeping steady aim
>wait
>what if you made a loop on the other end, wrapped that around your right hoof, and braced the rifle against your body with your left hoof
>now we're getting somewhere
>yeah, this is much more comfortable
>brace the rifle against your body with your left foreleg pressing against the magwell, jerking your right hoof back to fire
>after some fiddly trouble loading rounds into a mag, you load it and sneak out
>don't want anything like "what's that, Emerald? where are you going with it? I'm gonna confiscate that alien technology and dissect it"
>you chamber the weapon with your mouth and head straight for Cane's house
>semper fuckin fi

>be Crystal Clear
>you have been beaten, whipped, cut, blindfolded, but you legitimately don't know what Emerald's deal is other than monetary gain
>maybe Cane will give up soon
>no
>if he gives up that mean's you're dead
>what happened to him
>you two were best friends, then all of a sudden money and drugs make you enemies
>knock
>knock
>oh no
>please don't let that be Emerald
>she's a good filly, she doesn't deserve what's gonna happen if she shows up
>from a distance you hear one of Cane's goons open the door
[p]>"Boss, she's here"[/p]
[o]>"Finally, i thought she would never show up"[/o]
>oh celestia please no
>in your least hoarse voice you yell across the house
"EMERALD, RUN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
[o]>"Well there's your friend, how about you help him out by telling us who is telling you to mess with us"[/o]
>"im-fucking-plying i'm a snitch"
[o]>"JUST TELL US OR YOU'RE ENDING UP JUST LIKE HIM!"[/o]
>"how're you gonna muster that"
"STOP PLAYING AROUND THESE GUYS ARE SERIOUS!"
>"just sit tight and this'll be over soon."
[o]>"fuck this, get her, guys" [/o]
>BANG
>all of a sudden, you hear the loudest noise you've ever heard
>it sounds like someone lit off a firework right next to your ears
>BANG
>oh shit what the fuck is going on
>BANG
>BANG
>you feel warm liquid spurt all over your coat
>your ears are ringing
>all you can hear is smells like iron and sulphur
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"crystal"EEEEEE
>EEEEEEEE"Crystal!"EEEEEEEEEEEEE
>you feel hooves take off your blindfold
>you look around
>everyone except you and Emerald are dead
>you look down
>the warm liquid that fell on you turns out to be the blood of your former friend
>what the actual fuck
>you look back at emerald
>she's grasping.. something
>it's black, metallic, with 2 bits sticking out of it
>"Cmon, we've got to get out of here before someone starts snooping around!"
"i - wha - a - e"
>your mind is running a million thoughts a minute
>"Look, i'll explain everything. But right now we have to get out of here!"
>looking back over you see little metal cylinders littered on the ground
>4 of them
>one for each explosion you heard
>you look back over at emerald who looks rather interested in something on the table
>she grabs what looks like a piece of paper in her mouth before motioning towards you to follow
>right
>you get up and limp towards her, out the door