Anon - Anon's Fingerbang Adventures

>Be Anon
>Have a normal day
>Feel something strange
>"Bang!"
>You dodge the bang coming from...
>Trixie?
>Oh hell no.
>You backflip behind Trixie and give her time to turn around
>She looks mortified
"BANG!"
>She gets tagged
>"God damn it, mother fucker holy shit I will end you!"
>Trixie keeps spouting random shit while she walks away
>Walk up and see twilight
>"Oh, Hi Ano-"
>You put her in a headlock
>"A-anon, what are you do-"
"Bang!"
>"What?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Were you not playing?"
>"Playing what?"
"Nevermind."
>Keep walking
>See Principal Celestia
>Quickly hide behind a locker
>You hear her footsteps get closer
>Closer...
>You trip the unsuspecting principal and do a fake gun-cocking noise
"Any last words?"
>"Might want to check your surroundings."
>You become distracted, surveying the area for any hazards.
>The Principal slides and kicks your leg, making you kneel.
>"You can't finger bang me, bitch!"
>She tries to finger bang you, but you roll and fingerbang her
>She puts her hands up for a few seconds, and then puts them back down to begin a slow clap.
>"Well, Well, Well. You got me. But are you ready for your last opponent?"
>It becomes dark
>Jesus Christ you can't see shit
>Bright lights come on at once
>You wince
>You look up and see the announcers
>It's the principals
>"FANS, ARE YOU READY? IT IS TIME FOR THE FINAL BATTLE!"
>"GIVE IT UP FOR AAAAAANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"
>"Give it up for our bitch of a champion, Sunset Shimmer!"
>You hear a faint "Hey!".
>"Begin!"
>Sunset Shimmer begins to walk towards you
>You stand still, but you're on your guard
>Shimmer grabs your crotch, and you freeze.
>You're one confused motherfucker.
>You argue with your penis mentally
>"Shit, sorry boss! I'm stiffening up!"
"Shit, shit, shit shit..."
>You try not to freak out the crowd
>You think of your grandmother, only naked.
"There we go."
>You do your infamous Tit-slam, grabbing Sunset by the tits and slamming her to the ground.
>Stick your finger in her vagoo.
"Bang."