Otherhood (2019) eng

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1
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Everyone's heard of the city
that never sleeps.

2
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What about the mothers who never sleep

3
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because their boys move to the city
and never call?

4
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This is a story about three such mothers
and their three sons.

5
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Stop the cab!

6
00:00:58,641 --> 00:00:59,476
Look where we are.

7
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,436
You guys are such profound assholes.

8
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-It's time, Daniel.
-All right, I know. I'm still deciding.

9
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-You decided, you got a ring.
-Yes.

10
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-You're getting engaged!
-Yes.

11
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-Right now?
-Isn't that fantastic?

12
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I'm not asking Erin to marry me tonight,
drunk with girls in the car. No offense.

13
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-I mean, no, we're going to Matt's.
-D, I love you, but get out.

14
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-Come on.
-Bye.

15
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Come on.

16
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Look...

17
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,542
You are happy with Erin.

18
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Like, happier than I've seen you since...

19
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sixth grade.

20
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You said you'd have your first novel
finished by the end of the year,

21
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three ends-of-the-years ago.

22
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,929
-Horrible pep talk.
-These are the facts.

23
00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:39,390
-She's hot. I'm gonna do it if you don't.
-That's a better pep talk.

24
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,642
-Erin!
-All right.

25
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Baby! Erin!

26
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This, by the way,

27
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-is why we don't all hang out anymore.
-Listen to me, okay?

28
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This will be romantic.

29
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This is the story
that she's gonna tell your kids.

30
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She's gonna say, "That's the night
that he stormed up the stairs,

31
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,617
and got down on one knee..."

32
00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,662
and you asked if she would marry you.

33
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That is novel material.

34
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Novel material.

35
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Ah, yeah.

36
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It would be a pretty great story.

37
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We were there for every big life event,

38
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and now we're lucky
if we hear about anything at all.

39
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Erin!

40
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,403
Daniel?

41
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What the fuck?

42
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There's a lot you don't know as mothers.

43
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,329
In fact, that's what bonded us

44
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when the boys' friendship
launched our friendship

45
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on a playground in Poughkeepsie.

46
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,475
We've been through so much together.

47
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Graduations, proms,

48
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:09,147
skinned knees, emergency room visits,

49
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:12,400
family vacations, bad days, bad jobs,

50
00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:15,987
and at every scary and unfamiliar stage,

51
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:19,240
the answer was always "friends".

52
00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:24,913
That's Gillian.

53
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She still has kids in the house,

54
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they're just not hers.

55
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,835
Why are you teaching today?

56
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,713
It's just one lesson.

57
00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,924
He wants to play this later
for his mother.

58
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,258
He still likes her.

59
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,968
Daniel texted you already.

60
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Nothing says "I don't want to talk to you"
like a text.

61
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He said he misses us.

62
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That's nice.

63
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It's a lie.

64
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But it's a nice lie.

65
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And that's Helen.

66
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She never ages.

67
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At least, not publicly.

68
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Frank, I have to run a few errands
before I go to Carol's.

69
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:09,332
Would you tell her I could sell her house
tomorrow if she'd give me the listing?

70
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:12,126
Are you spray-painting
the top of your head again?

71
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,587
I'm tall enough, so no one even sees it.

72
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,172
Unless you're sitting.

73
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Carol talks a good game, Frank,

74
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but she will never sell that house.

75
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,054
You'd have to sell it with her in it.

76
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:27,934
The three of us don't see each other
as often as we used to.

77
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,394
The boys are gone,

78
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,479
husbands have come and gone,

79
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but one tradition remains.

80
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-Oh, I'm so glad we're still doing this!
-Happy Mother's Day!

81
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:42,323
Without husbands and kids,
it might actually be fun.

82
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,908
I brought donuts.

83
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:46,869
I brought bourbon.

84
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,706
Like I'm really gonna drink a mimosa?
It's Mother's Day.

85
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,207
I knew I should have Ubered.

86
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,503
Guys, I think the guy at the liquor store
was flirting with me.

87
00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:58,756
Oh, I can't remember the last time
someone flirted with me.

88
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,342
I bet it happens all the time.
You're not flirting back.

89
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,511
Why do you flirt back? You're married.

90
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:05,680
My marriage isn't as perfect
as yours, Gillian.

91
00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:08,891
Besides, flirting isn't cheating.
It's a pick-me-up for your ego.

92
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:12,437
-It keeps you in shape, sexually speaking.
-Oh, so it's sexercise.

93
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,522
Yes, women should sexercise daily.

94
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:17,442
Terrific, another thing
that I'm not doing.

95
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:20,862
Come on, there's nothing you're not doing.

96
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,613
Look at this spread.

97
00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:24,782
And you're always volunteering.

98
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:28,494
Oh, please, I teach art
in a retirement home two days a week.

99
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,121
I'm hardly Mother Teresa.

100
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,248
And look at your house, it's spotless.

101
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,916
A key to a clean house?

102
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,418
Dead husband.

103
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,672
Oh, God, that came out much darker
than I intended.

104
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,175
No, that's a great household tip.

105
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,512
What is with these flowers?

106
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,515
Come on, they get bigger every year.
Did Matt send these?

107
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,684
Yes, delivered this morning.

108
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,520
Matty is the perfect son,
he never forgets.

109
00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:55,980
Is he dating anyone?

110
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,398
He doesn't have time.

111
00:05:57,482 --> 00:06:00,318
He's helping to launch
some new sports magazine.

112
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So he just works, works out, and sleeps,
so he says.

113
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:06,115
Paul is the same way,
he never mentions dating anyone.

114
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,619
God, I wish Daniel would date someone
other than that Erin.

115
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She's not good enough for him.
I told him that.

116
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And how did that go?

117
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He unfriended me.

118
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See? Now, that's why I'm not on Facebook.

119
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:23,716
-Remember how cute they were?
-Remember how cute we were?

120
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,385
When did I turn 50?

121
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:29,097
Oh, several years after I did,
so shut up and enjoy your youth.

122
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,682
I love that with us,
we don't have to lie about our age.

123
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,435
I love with us,
we don't have to lie about anything.

124
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:38,314
Look, I've just I just polished off
a whole donut in front of you two.

125
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,775
I didn't even pretend to only want half.

126
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Come on, that's friendship.

127
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,487
You are so right.

128
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:50,910
I sent myself the flowers.

129
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Been doing it for a while now.

130
00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:02,004
And each year, it gets
more and more depressing,

131
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,881
so I get bigger and bigger flowers.

132
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:06,759
Well...

133
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,720
But you don't include a note, do you?

134
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:11,431
No!

135
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,266
I would not write my own...

136
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:15,351
Yes.

137
00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:18,354
What did the note say this year?

138
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You are the best mother ever.

139
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,483
Yes.

140
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,734
Well, you are.

141
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,736
What son forgets Mother's Day?

142
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:28,448
Well, what kind of son
sends a Mother's Day text?

143
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:29,907
Pass the bourbon.

144
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:33,619
Come on, lazy! Buy me some bath salts.
Is that so difficult?

145
00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:37,457
-A candle, a frame, something.
-I should've sent myself flowers.

146
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,374
It's brilliant.

147
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,585
Daniel can't call me
from Long Island City?

148
00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,879
God, I have a girl for him to meet.

149
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,173
The little jerk won't even call me back.

150
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,341
Paul stopped caring when I married Frank.

151
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,886
Matt hasn't been home
since Finn's funeral.

152
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,596
And he barely came home for that.

153
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:54,015
Stayed 16 hours, and he wore sneakers.

154
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,184
They were nice ones. They were Gucci.

155
00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,520
What did we do wrong?

156
00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:02,773
We did everything right.
That's what we did wrong.

157
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:07,153
I mean, we raised our children
to be free-thinking, independent beings,

158
00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:09,447
and now, they just...
they don't need us anymore.

159
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:12,074
Well, they're gonna need us again
when they have kids,

160
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:15,286
-when we're grandmothers.
-I don't want to be a grandmother, but...

161
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,455
I would like one Mother's Day card.

162
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,208
Motherhood.

163
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:24,337
That sinking feeling that,
as your child's growing up,

164
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:28,216
that you're being broken up with,
on a gradual but daily basis.

165
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,093
It's inhumane emotional waterboarding.

166
00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:35,348
That is the best description of motherhood
I have ever heard.

167
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:38,935
Well, at this stage,
it doesn't feel like motherhood,

168
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,269
it feels like "otherhood."

169
00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,480
Oh, my God, you're so right.

170
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:44,315
I don't want to be an "other."

171
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:46,943
Me neither. But what are we gonna do?

172
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,779
Drive to Manhattan,
storm their apartments?

173
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,073
No, we've got to respect their space,

174
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,367
let them individuate,

175
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,369
blah, blah, blah.

176
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:58,538
Except...

177
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,165
it's fucking Mother's Day.

178
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,301
-Come on, Carol, we're doing this!
-Vámonos.

179
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,137
Let's go.

180
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,058
All set.

181
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:20,560
See you!

182
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,353
I need some grown-up luggage.

183
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,730
This is  my good luck bag from Guatemala.

184
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:25,940
Here we go!

185
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:49,797
Walk on boots.

186
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:50,965
Hear us, boys?

187
00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,259
We should go on America's Got Talent.

188
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,390
What was wrong with the old bridge?

189
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,353
She was sagging...

190
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,105
a little.

191
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,795
I think the bourbon just wore off.

192
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,797
Have we really thought this through?

193
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,633
What if the boys don't want to see us?

194
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,302
"Mother" is not just a noun, it's a verb.

195
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,262
It requires action.

196
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,847
I read that some place.

197
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,475
-Well, I teach on Tuesday.
-Just call in sick.

198
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:45,186
That's what I did
for the first time in... ever.

199
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,146
I brought five clean pairs of underwear.

200
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:49,523
Hey, I might be sick all week.

201
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,275
All week?

202
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,110
Well, how long are we staying?

203
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,029
Until we feel like mothers again.

204
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,490
Why can't we feel like mothers
from a hotel room?

205
00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:59,367
Now, that is a valid question.

206
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,453
Because we're not on vacation,
we are on a mission.

207
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:05,164
They can deal with having us
in their homes for a few days.

208
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:07,291
They were in ours for 18 years.

209
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,253
You got this, champ!

210
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,214
Go in and call us when you're in!

211
00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:15,800
-Gillian, I can't do this, I can't!
-Oh, you'll be fine.

212
00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:17,385
-It's gonna be really great.
-No.

213
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,970
You're going to live out this day.
You are.

214
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,597
Don't take no for an answer.

215
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,057
Make him love you!

216
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,976
Helen! Gillian! Wait!

217
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:34,944
Yeah.

218
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,071
Hi, I just happened to be
in the neighbor--

219
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,074
I'm downstairs. It's your mo--

220
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:01,137
Mom.

221
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:05,141
-What are you--
-I was just missing you today.

222
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:07,810
Shit, it's Mother's Day.

223
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,229
-Is it?
-I was gonna call.

224
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:11,272
Can I come in?

225
00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,774
Yeah. Of course. Please.

226
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:14,692
Please.

227
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,739
I sent the elevator.

228
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,741
It's just five floors.

229
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,369
Well, can I get you something?

230
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,663
Well, you didn't even hug me.

231
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:29,749
I...

232
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,334
You caught me off guard.

233
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:37,923
Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

234
00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:40,968
-Let's just sit.
-Yeah.

235
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,013
Let's just put this over here.

236
00:12:44,221 --> 00:12:45,431
That's gone.

237
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:47,475
Good, let me just set that up.

238
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,146
Just...

239
00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:54,607
That's not even...

240
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:08,120
I've been thinking about our relationship,

241
00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:10,080
and I...

242
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:15,002
I don't think we have one.

243
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:16,962
What? Mom.

244
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,340
Mom, you are my mom.

245
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:20,758
How could we not have one?

246
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,092
What's my favorite flower?

247
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,262
We have a relationship.

248
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:27,097
Then tell me something about me.

249
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:30,100
Okay, there are a thousand things
that I know about you.

250
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:31,352
Irises.

251
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,063
I knew that.

252
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,943
I want to stay for a few days.

253
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:41,612
What? No. Mom. I mean, why?

254
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:44,573
Because you still live
like a 15-year old, sweetheart.

255
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:45,699
I mean, look!

256
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,451
Look at this mess.

257
00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:52,122
I'll clean while you think of ten things
that you honestly know about me.

258
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,332
Okay, Mom. Ten?

259
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,168
It's gonna take days to get this in shape.

260
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,254
Mom, I have a woman for that.

261
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:01,340
Well, how often does she come?
Biannually?

262
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,891
Hey, it's Daniel Lieberman.

263
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,934
I'm guessing you know what to do.

264
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,113
Oh, gosh.

265
00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:09,491
Did you get in?

266
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,409
Yeah.

267
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:11,619
I got in.

268
00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:13,454
Tell me something.

269
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,456
Does Paul have drapes?

270
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:20,210
Matt has 75 pairs of brand new sneakers,
but no drapes.

271
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,755
Yes, Paul has drapes.

272
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:24,340
Listen...

273
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,093
Would you mind
if I called you back tomorrow?

274
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,803
Oh, yeah, sure. Sorry.

275
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,221
Enjoy!

276
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,515
Okay. Yeah, I will. Goodnight, honey.

277
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:42,775
Just stop.

278
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,530
I'm a coward. Okay.

279
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:49,448
Hey!

280
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:50,741
Hey.

281
00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:51,659
Thank you.

282
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,285
How's it going with Paul?

283
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,203
Good.

284
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:57,581
Paul has been very gracious.

285
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,084
He just poured me a drink.

286
00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:02,169
Well, how's it going with Daniel?

287
00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:04,129
I'm gonna go by in the morning.

288
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:07,758
Daniel's not answering the phone.
I think he's got that caller ID thing.

289
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,970
But I'll tell you this,
Long Island City is the place to go

290
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,596
if you want to be stabbed.

291
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:15,724
'Cause I was terrified
to get out of my car.

292
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:20,020
Hey, have you heard of this place,
the Hudson Hotel?

293
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:21,981
It's where Joel got the best rate.

294
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,857
Oh, yeah. It's supposed to be cool.

295
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:25,109
It's really cool.

296
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:27,820
I mean, it's more like a club
than a hotel.

297
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:32,408
The bellboys are gorgeous.

298
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:35,035
Gillian, you scamp.

299
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:39,581
I'm gonna ambush Daniel when it's light.

300
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,000
Listen...

301
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,003
It is okay that you decided to wait.

302
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,630
It's a difficult thing to do.

303
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,757
I don't blame you.

304
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:50,884
Actually...

305
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,553
I've...

306
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,265
-I...
-Oh, hey.

307
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:58,267
Can you tell Paul that I say hi?

308
00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:01,520
Gillian says hello.

309
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:03,939
Paul says hello back.

310
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,400
-Well, all right, sweet dreams.
-Okay.

311
00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:07,401
Night, hun.

312
00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:08,527
Good night.

313
00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:39,725
I found some sausages in your freezer.

314
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:43,520
Took the skillet I gave you
for college graduation out of the box.

315
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,148
Well, I don't eat breakfast.

316
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,358
You used to eat breakfast.

317
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,402
"Most important meal of the day."

318
00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:52,154
Yeah, according to Dad,

319
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,198
and whoever said it originally.

320
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:57,034
Probably someone involved
in the cereal business.

321
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:02,790
I need to get dressed and get to work.

322
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,792
Oh, well, don't let me stop you.

323
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,462
Those banana pancakes?

324
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,342
Well, I guess... one...

325
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:14,927
wouldn't kill me.

326
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,481
-It's after eight. You're late.
-Hi...

327
00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:30,025
Touch anything on my desk,
you're fired. Understand?

328
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,819
-I'm here to see Paul.
-He'll pay you.

329
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:32,945
Andre!

330
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:34,279
-Don't mess up.
-Okay.

331
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:44,790
Hi.

332
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:45,874
Hi.

333
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,501
You're the new housekeeper.

334
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,295
I'm Paul's mother.

335
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,009
-I'm Helen.
-Right, yeah, sorry.

336
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:57,261
-Hi, I'm Andre.
-Hi.

337
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,512
Nice to meet you.

338
00:18:58,595 --> 00:18:59,429
Are you...

339
00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,306
Are you... are you Paul's boyfriend?

340
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,352
I'll see if he's dressed.

341
00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:07,146
I just made coffee.

342
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,606
-I'd love some coffee.
-Please. Please, join me.

343
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:17,406
Paul never officially came out to me,
you know.

344
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:19,491
-So...
-Did you ever ask?

345
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,495
It wasn't my place to ask.
It was his place to tell.

346
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:28,792
I'm sure at some point he knew I knew,
but we never, you know, talked about it.

347
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,962
Well, my parents are visually deaf.
I mean...

348
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:32,880
hello.

349
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:35,799
What do you do, Andre?

350
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:38,218
As little as I can get away with.

351
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:41,597
He never alters his pattern.

352
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,975
I can tell by the creeks in the floor
when he's about to come downstairs.

353
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:48,187
Oh, my God, I owe you a blow job.

354
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,189
-Your mother.
-Your mother.

355
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,690
Surprise!

356
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,776
Hey, Mom!

357
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:56,361
Boo!

358
00:19:57,404 --> 00:20:00,532
I know it doesn't make any sense for me
to try to maintain that house.

359
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,534
It's in constant need of repairs,

360
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:05,579
and no one's even been in the pool
since your father died.

361
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:06,496
So, just sell it.

362
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,665
-But we've been there for 20 years.
-I haven't.

363
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:11,543
He didn't want me to be alone,
and I don't want to be, but...

364
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,170
the mattress...

365
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:16,298
it sags where your father slept.

366
00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:20,385
And I keep thinking, you know,
maybe I should just buy a new one.

367
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,012
But if I did that, then...

368
00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:26,099
the mattress wouldn't sag
where your father slept.

369
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:40,113
Well, that's a nice greeting
for your mother.

370
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,116
What's a nice greeting?
I didn't say anything.

371
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,535
That's what I'm talking about.

372
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:49,998
-Are you and Dad fighting or something?
-I came to see if you were okay.

373
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,084
I'm fantastic.

374
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,461
You want a screwdriver or something?

375
00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:56,296
Are you trying to make me cry?

376
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,258
Can you not threaten me with feelings, Ma?
Don't worry about me.

377
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,969
Your life is your life and mine is mine.

378
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:04,721
That's the stupidest thing I've heard.

379
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:07,599
If everyone was here for themselves,
life would be pointless.

380
00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,309
Life is pointless.

381
00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,436
Children give your life meaning.

382
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,814
You are the point of my life, Daniel.

383
00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:16,066
Please don't make me
question my existence.

384
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:18,193
Oh, my God, Ma, what are you doing here?

385
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,028
Really? That's where we are?

386
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,072
I drive for hours and hours,

387
00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:24,574
the first thing you say is,
"What are you doing here?"

388
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:27,160
It wasn't the first thing I said,
it was the last thing.

389
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:30,414
Okay. I'll go.
If you don't want me, I'll go.

390
00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:32,791
-I'll get my bag.
-I'm not saying I don't want you,

391
00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:35,752
I'm wondering why you didn't call me
to tell me you were coming.

392
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:39,715
You didn't call me on Mother's Day,
I'm not holding that against you.

393
00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,008
I texted you.

394
00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:42,217
I birthed you.

395
00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:44,594
Anyway, it's not why I'm here.

396
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,930
I found you a nice Jewish girl.

397
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:48,473
You weren't even Jewish.

398
00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:50,475
I converted, for you.

399
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,352
Okay, you converted for Dad.

400
00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,896
Yes, so we could raise our kids as Jews.

401
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:56,815
So, stop dating the shiksas.

402
00:21:58,734 --> 00:21:59,985
Are you talking about Erin?

403
00:22:00,068 --> 00:22:02,195
Erin. What kind of name is that?

404
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:04,281
It's like the leftovers
of a Scrabble hand.

405
00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:06,783
That's a character flaw now, her name?

406
00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:08,952
You met her once.
You barely even spoke to her.

407
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:12,080
-You never even gave her a chance.
-I saw her social media.

408
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,915
A lot of margarita nights.

409
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,917
-She's a drinker.
-I'm a drinker.

410
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:19,046
You're a thinker. You use alcohol
as a coping mechanism.

411
00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:21,673
That's the definition of alcoholism.

412
00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:23,759
You're an intellectual,
she's a hairdresser.

413
00:22:24,092 --> 00:22:25,677
Hairstylist. And so what?

414
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:29,181
So, let her style your hair,
but don't procreate with her.

415
00:22:29,264 --> 00:22:31,767
That is so classist and offensive.

416
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:34,561
And it's over,
so why don't you just move on, okay?

417
00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:35,729
I have.

418
00:22:36,646 --> 00:22:38,690
Remember the Brimers?

419
00:22:39,649 --> 00:22:41,318
-Ivan and Joan.
-No.

420
00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:43,779
On the corner.
They had that horrible little Shih Tzu

421
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:46,239
-that bit you when you were six.
-I remember the dog.

422
00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:49,951
Well, Joan's sister
has a nephew by marriage in Yonkers,

423
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:53,580
and he gave me this number
of this brilliant woman from his temple.

424
00:22:53,663 --> 00:22:58,085
She's just been through a painful divorce,
which apparently was not her fault at all.

425
00:22:58,168 --> 00:22:59,419
Okay, good to know.

426
00:22:59,503 --> 00:23:01,421
And she is a beautiful person.

427
00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:04,049
-She's friends with his wife.
-Oh, my God, Ma,

428
00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:07,594
-you've never even met her, have you?
-I saw her social media.

429
00:23:07,677 --> 00:23:09,554
She is smart.

430
00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:10,972
She did a beach clean-up.

431
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:13,558
She's starting to think
about dating again.

432
00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:15,310
We got to get in there fast.

433
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,603
When I reached out to her,

434
00:23:16,686 --> 00:23:18,939
I told her you were nearby
and in a similar boat.

435
00:23:19,022 --> 00:23:21,858
-She said she'd love to hear from you.
-Why have you done this?

436
00:23:22,275 --> 00:23:24,027
Her name is Alison.

437
00:23:24,528 --> 00:23:27,489
She graduated from Brown,
she has a political science degree,

438
00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:29,074
she does something in television.

439
00:23:29,157 --> 00:23:30,367
Let me get this straight.

440
00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:32,369
You want me to go on a date
with this woman

441
00:23:32,452 --> 00:23:36,289
based on the fact that she attends temple
with some guy in Yonkers

442
00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:39,751
who's somehow related to the woman
whose dog bit me when I was a kid.

443
00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:42,129
You can't hold that horrible dog
against her.

444
00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:44,214
I'm not talking about the dog, Ma.

445
00:23:45,006 --> 00:23:46,508
I'm talking about your insanity.

446
00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:48,844
Good shot.

447
00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:51,346
Have you had a date
since you've lived here?

448
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:53,515
I don't think this apartment
is helping at all.

449
00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:57,352
-It's like you're living in Gollum's cave.
-Okay, Ma, thanks for the dating advice.

450
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,438
Please, just leave it. Please.

451
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:02,482
I'm not leaving New York
until you call her.

452
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:05,444
You can't force me
to go on a date with someone.

453
00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:08,113
I call it prodding, a gentle little nudge.

454
00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:10,782
Okay, I'll be back at supper time.

455
00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:13,118
I need my Mace and my keys.

456
00:24:13,660 --> 00:24:16,746
I'll be back... alive. Hopefully.

457
00:24:25,046 --> 00:24:26,173
Hi, is this Alison?

458
00:24:26,673 --> 00:24:27,799
It's...

459
00:24:28,383 --> 00:24:29,801
Daniel Lieberman.

460
00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:32,762
My mom said I should call you.

461
00:24:33,763 --> 00:24:35,891
So, Paul lives with his...

462
00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,602
-Andre?
-Yes, and some other people.

463
00:24:38,685 --> 00:24:41,146
It's kind of great.
It's sort of a group home for gays.

464
00:24:41,229 --> 00:24:43,565
There's an older Wall Street guy
that owns the place

465
00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:45,901
and a tiny man who is very abrupt.

466
00:24:46,276 --> 00:24:48,820
I told Andre I was gonna cook
for the whole gang tonight.

467
00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:49,988
You? Cooking?

468
00:24:50,655 --> 00:24:52,991
That's more shocking
than your son coming out.

469
00:24:53,074 --> 00:24:56,077
Well, apparently, he's been completely out
to everybody but me.

470
00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:58,955
-Oh, honey, he just assumed you knew.
-I did know.

471
00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,749
-Well, we all knew.
-No, I didn't.

472
00:25:00,832 --> 00:25:02,584
Why am I the last to get the memo?

473
00:25:02,667 --> 00:25:04,461
You're not. Larry is.

474
00:25:04,544 --> 00:25:07,589
He had one foot out of the door
by the time Paul was in high school.

475
00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:10,050
So, I thought, I'm gonna let him
find out by himself.

476
00:25:10,133 --> 00:25:14,262
You know, his only son. It's gonna drive
that closed-minded lying dickhead crazy.

477
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:17,516
Oh, Larry.
Can we talk about something else?

478
00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:19,809
Absolutely. How's Daniel?

479
00:25:21,228 --> 00:25:24,064
It's worse than I imagined.
That's never happened to me before.

480
00:25:24,147 --> 00:25:25,774
I under-worry.

481
00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:28,735
Well, all the more reason
for you to leave your hotel

482
00:25:28,818 --> 00:25:31,488
and move in like Helen and I did.

483
00:25:31,571 --> 00:25:33,532
Yeah, I'm in a hotel, too.

484
00:25:33,823 --> 00:25:35,075
What?

485
00:25:35,158 --> 00:25:38,870
Yes, I know what I said,
but, you know, Paul's got his plate full

486
00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:41,373
and doesn't need a house guest
on top of it, you know?

487
00:25:41,456 --> 00:25:43,792
So, he forgot Mother's Day. Big deal.

488
00:25:43,875 --> 00:25:44,834
-Big deal?
-Yeah.

489
00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:47,337
What? You got me drunk
and made me come here.

490
00:25:47,420 --> 00:25:48,505
But seriously...

491
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,424
how do you live in this town
and forget Mother's Day?

492
00:25:51,508 --> 00:25:54,594
Look. Mother, mom, mama,
Mutter, madre, maman.

493
00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:57,180
This is Joseph.

494
00:25:57,889 --> 00:25:59,641
Look at these cute bags. Let's go in.

495
00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:03,019
No. Paul does Joseph.
He did these windows.

496
00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:08,024
I am so moving in with that fucker.

497
00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:14,906
Hi.

498
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,158
Are you the famous writer?

499
00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:19,953
Either my mom exaggerated,
or you're meeting someone else.

500
00:26:20,036 --> 00:26:22,205
-I'm Alison.
-Daniel.

501
00:26:22,289 --> 00:26:23,456
-Hello.
-Hi.

502
00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,126
You write for The New Yorker,
that's pretty famous.

503
00:26:26,209 --> 00:26:27,711
I don't write for The New Yorker.

504
00:26:27,794 --> 00:26:30,380
I thought your mom said
you did write for The New Yorker.

505
00:26:30,463 --> 00:26:34,384
The New Yorker published one short story
of mine four years ago, which...

506
00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:38,221
resulted in a very small book deal,
but as of yet, no book.

507
00:26:38,722 --> 00:26:39,639
The rest of my work,

508
00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:42,726
if you can call it that,
is in literary journals no one's heard of.

509
00:26:42,809 --> 00:26:44,853
-I might have heard of them.
-No, you haven't.

510
00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:46,062
Come on, tell me.

511
00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:49,316
-The Willacoochee River Journal.
-No.

512
00:26:49,399 --> 00:26:50,609
I know, it's funny, right?

513
00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:53,403
-You're making that up.
-I wish I could make that up.

514
00:26:53,486 --> 00:26:56,072
Sadly, that is non-fiction.
That is my life.

515
00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:58,116
My mom should talk less.

516
00:26:58,199 --> 00:27:01,411
Yeah, but if your mom talked less,
we wouldn't be here right now, so...

517
00:27:01,494 --> 00:27:03,622
you know, thank God for your mother,
right?

518
00:27:06,583 --> 00:27:07,459
Daniel!

519
00:27:08,501 --> 00:27:10,712
If you're there
and you're pretending you're not,

520
00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:12,380
I'm never talking to you again.

521
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:14,257
Or maybe that's what you want.

522
00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:15,342
Daniel!

523
00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:18,720
What?

524
00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:22,223
Oh, God, this is totally unsafe.

525
00:27:24,225 --> 00:27:25,560
Oh, come on.

526
00:27:25,935 --> 00:27:26,811
Open?

527
00:27:34,861 --> 00:27:36,321
Come on, old girl.

528
00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:38,073
You still got it.

529
00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:39,699
Okay.

530
00:27:45,580 --> 00:27:46,748
Mice!

531
00:27:47,832 --> 00:27:49,334
So, you lived in New York?

532
00:27:49,417 --> 00:27:50,585
Did I ever.

533
00:27:51,127 --> 00:27:54,381
I worked in fashion at the time.
I met Paul's father at Studio 54.

534
00:27:54,798 --> 00:27:55,799
-No.
-Yeah.

535
00:27:55,882 --> 00:27:57,050
Fabulous.

536
00:27:57,258 --> 00:27:59,803
Yes, and ridiculous.
You're supposed to have sex

537
00:27:59,886 --> 00:28:02,764
with people you meet there,
do drugs with them, not marry them.

538
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:05,934
I think Larry fell in love with me
for my looks

539
00:28:06,017 --> 00:28:08,520
and just tolerated me for everything else.

540
00:28:09,104 --> 00:28:11,523
Does that sound terribly vain?

541
00:28:12,023 --> 00:28:15,193
Look who you're talking to.
I'm window dressing for a window dresser.

542
00:28:16,903 --> 00:28:18,446
But you two are happy?

543
00:28:19,823 --> 00:28:20,657
Yeah.

544
00:28:22,992 --> 00:28:25,203
He says he'd like me to be
older or flabbier

545
00:28:25,286 --> 00:28:26,538
so when he leaves for work,

546
00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:29,207
he won't have to wonder
if I'll be here when he gets home.

547
00:28:33,086 --> 00:28:35,422
Since when is Paul so insecure?

548
00:28:38,007 --> 00:28:39,759
-He gets that from you.
-Yeah.

549
00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:44,389
You were...

550
00:28:45,890 --> 00:28:47,267
You were preoccupied

551
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,729
between husbands, dating,
hosting charity events.

552
00:28:51,646 --> 00:28:52,647
I mean, look...

553
00:28:53,356 --> 00:28:55,066
You were hurt after the divorce.

554
00:28:55,942 --> 00:28:58,319
Right? Lost? I get that.

555
00:28:59,696 --> 00:29:01,489
But he felt a little abandoned.

556
00:29:05,618 --> 00:29:07,287
Well, he never told me that.

557
00:29:08,121 --> 00:29:09,038
Hey.

558
00:29:11,374 --> 00:29:12,542
-Hey!
-There he is.

559
00:29:12,876 --> 00:29:13,835
-Hi.
-Hey.

560
00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:16,838
Are you cooking?

561
00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:17,756
Well, yeah.

562
00:29:20,550 --> 00:29:22,343
I was falling out of love with him,

563
00:29:22,427 --> 00:29:25,555
but I thought I was falling out
of love with myself. Know what I mean?

564
00:29:25,930 --> 00:29:26,973
No, not really.

565
00:29:27,056 --> 00:29:28,057
Oh, okay.

566
00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:30,101
Think of yourself as an egg.

567
00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:32,353
-Okay, why?
-Because the egg is you, okay?

568
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:35,398
It's your self-love, your self-worth.
You're the egg, right?

569
00:29:35,482 --> 00:29:39,152
So good love presses on the ends of you,
you know,

570
00:29:39,235 --> 00:29:41,654
but what happens when you press
on the ends of an egg?

571
00:29:41,946 --> 00:29:42,781
I don't know.

572
00:29:43,156 --> 00:29:46,034
Nothing. Good love challenges the egg,
puts pressure on the egg,

573
00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:47,744
but allows the egg to stay whole.

574
00:29:48,161 --> 00:29:51,372
But what does it take
to turn good love into bad love?

575
00:29:52,540 --> 00:29:53,708
An expiration date?

576
00:29:54,042 --> 00:29:56,836
No. The egg twists, okay? That's it.

577
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,923
Now, suddenly,
the pressure is on the sides of the egg.

578
00:30:00,006 --> 00:30:03,468
-Okay? And then, what happens?
-We break the egg analogy?

579
00:30:03,551 --> 00:30:04,469
Oh, yeah.

580
00:30:04,928 --> 00:30:06,930
Yes, Daniel. It breaks, all right.

581
00:30:07,430 --> 00:30:09,474
So, who broke your egg, Daniel?

582
00:30:12,852 --> 00:30:14,354
I waited five weeks.

583
00:30:14,771 --> 00:30:16,022
To bang your trainer?

584
00:30:16,105 --> 00:30:17,106
Five weeks...

585
00:30:18,066 --> 00:30:19,025
without a word.

586
00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:22,612
I felt like you were happy
for the chance to walk away.

587
00:30:23,613 --> 00:30:24,447
I came...

588
00:30:25,114 --> 00:30:26,950
to tell you that I decided.

589
00:30:27,534 --> 00:30:31,788
I always thought I had to finish my novel
first or make something of my life,

590
00:30:31,871 --> 00:30:33,665
and then, I finally realized...

591
00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:36,209
all I ever wanted was you,

592
00:30:36,292 --> 00:30:38,253
and for us to be together, and...

593
00:30:39,546 --> 00:30:40,463
maybe we'll...

594
00:30:41,673 --> 00:30:43,007
one day have children.

595
00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:46,636
And that would be
the purpose of our lives,

596
00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:48,763
the best thing that we'd ever do.

597
00:30:53,101 --> 00:30:54,018
I was wrong.

598
00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:56,104
No.

599
00:30:56,479 --> 00:30:57,313
Daniel.

600
00:30:57,939 --> 00:30:59,065
Who broke your egg?

601
00:31:01,150 --> 00:31:02,068
Okay, look...

602
00:31:02,694 --> 00:31:04,070
-Alison.
-Yep.

603
00:31:04,153 --> 00:31:05,780
I'm here to get rid of my mother,

604
00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:08,116
and you're here
to talk about your ex-husband.

605
00:31:08,199 --> 00:31:12,078
So, why don't we just call it over easy
and be done with it?

606
00:31:12,161 --> 00:31:14,205
I'm gonna give you an answer
to that question,

607
00:31:14,289 --> 00:31:17,083
even though I don't think
you'll understand it,

608
00:31:17,166 --> 00:31:18,668
and I don't think you deserve it.

609
00:31:18,751 --> 00:31:20,753
-I'm telling you I don't deserve it.
-Okay.

610
00:31:21,212 --> 00:31:23,214
-You don't have to.
-You don't fix the egg.

611
00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:25,508
It doesn't matter who twisted it,
it's broken.

612
00:31:25,592 --> 00:31:26,885
And you gotta let it go.

613
00:31:26,968 --> 00:31:30,346
And once you've truly bid
that egg farewell, you'll...

614
00:31:30,638 --> 00:31:31,973
you'll find a new egg.

615
00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:34,851
Thank you.

616
00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:36,311
That was...

617
00:31:37,103 --> 00:31:38,646
I really need the check right now.

618
00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:41,357
I don't think I can hear about the egg
anymore. I'm sorry.

619
00:31:41,441 --> 00:31:43,568
All right. I was gonna split the bill
with you,

620
00:31:43,651 --> 00:31:45,320
but now I'm not so...

621
00:31:45,695 --> 00:31:46,529
thank you.

622
00:31:46,613 --> 00:31:48,573
Fair. Good luck with your egg hunt.

623
00:31:48,948 --> 00:31:49,782
Thank you.

624
00:31:54,203 --> 00:31:58,583
Well, I'm so glad we just finally get
to sit down and have a meal together.

625
00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:00,335
And...

626
00:32:01,419 --> 00:32:04,380
Did I mention that Paul
has never officially come out to me?

627
00:32:07,383 --> 00:32:08,509
Shame on you, Paul.

628
00:32:08,968 --> 00:32:11,846
You know, what is this bullshit
about having to come out?

629
00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:15,475
It's not like straight people have
to gather their families when they're 18

630
00:32:15,558 --> 00:32:19,312
and find a way to break it to them
they're heterosexual, thank you, so...

631
00:32:19,395 --> 00:32:20,939
why is it any different for us?

632
00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:24,317
Why can't parents just see what they see

633
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,486
and figure it out for themselves?

634
00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:28,696
-It is not a sin.
-No.

635
00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:31,491
And it is not something I need to confess.

636
00:32:32,700 --> 00:32:35,203
Shut up and tell her.
She deserves the truth.

637
00:32:35,286 --> 00:32:37,497
Do it now! This is really good, Helen.

638
00:32:40,583 --> 00:32:42,168
-Mom.
-Yeah?

639
00:32:43,044 --> 00:32:44,003
I'm gay.

640
00:32:45,004 --> 00:32:46,047
You're what?

641
00:32:46,589 --> 00:32:48,299
I support you and I love you!

642
00:32:50,593 --> 00:32:51,427
I'm happy.

643
00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:52,804
All right, kiss her already.

644
00:32:53,096 --> 00:32:54,514
-No!
-I'm not gonna go kiss her.

645
00:32:54,597 --> 00:32:55,807
-Get up.
-Kiss your mother.

646
00:32:55,890 --> 00:32:59,769
Walk over to your mother
and kiss her the way you're supposed to.

647
00:32:59,852 --> 00:33:01,187
-Kiss.
-Here I come.

648
00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:04,524
Beautiful.

649
00:33:05,858 --> 00:33:07,276
You just made my night.

650
00:33:08,069 --> 00:33:10,571
Now all you have to do
is tell your father.

651
00:33:11,155 --> 00:33:12,949
I told him a long time ago.

652
00:33:13,825 --> 00:33:14,659
What?

653
00:33:16,035 --> 00:33:18,121
-I mean, a while ago.
-How long ago?

654
00:33:19,747 --> 00:33:21,416
I don't know. A few years.

655
00:33:25,336 --> 00:33:27,338
Why did you tell him and not me?

656
00:33:28,881 --> 00:33:30,174
I figured you knew.

657
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:33,094
So...

658
00:33:33,177 --> 00:33:36,514
So, I'm punished for being perceptive.

659
00:33:36,597 --> 00:33:40,018
I would like to know why he got
to have the conversation and I didn't.

660
00:33:40,101 --> 00:33:43,271
Mom, you just forced me to come out
to three men who know I'm gay.

661
00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:45,815
No way that this moment
wasn't going to be about you.

662
00:33:45,898 --> 00:33:49,527
So, maybe this is the exact reason why.

663
00:33:49,944 --> 00:33:53,990
This has nothing to do
with you coming out to me. It's just...

664
00:33:54,365 --> 00:33:56,034
It has nothing to do with that.

665
00:33:56,117 --> 00:33:59,328
This is about how you treat me
and your father.

666
00:33:59,412 --> 00:34:01,956
I mean, is he always the one
that is going to be--

667
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,167
Mom, there is no you and my father.

668
00:34:04,459 --> 00:34:05,668
You're divorced!

669
00:34:07,670 --> 00:34:10,506
There is me and him,
and there is me and you,

670
00:34:10,923 --> 00:34:12,717
but there is no you and him.

671
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,011
And I am not willing to be
the you and the him,

672
00:34:15,094 --> 00:34:18,723
which is what you have always wanted,
which is why you are blowing up now.

673
00:34:19,098 --> 00:34:22,351
There is a me and him
because there is a you. And you...

674
00:34:22,810 --> 00:34:25,688
You are just like him.

675
00:34:25,772 --> 00:34:26,898
Exactly like he is!

676
00:34:26,981 --> 00:34:29,317
No, please do not compare me
to someone you despise.

677
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,028
-How about that, huh?
-I gotta go make a phone call.

678
00:34:37,784 --> 00:34:40,453
I'll just go ahead and take this with me.

679
00:34:41,454 --> 00:34:42,747
Am I interrupting?

680
00:34:42,997 --> 00:34:45,124
No, Daniel isn't home yet.

681
00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:46,959
Neither is Matt.

682
00:34:47,627 --> 00:34:51,881
I feel like I'm being stood up
and all of Tribeca knows it.

683
00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:54,425
These windows.

684
00:34:54,509 --> 00:34:57,220
Oh, stop complaining.
I'm in a basement apartment.

685
00:34:57,303 --> 00:34:58,596
All I see are cockroaches

686
00:34:58,679 --> 00:34:59,722
and feet.

687
00:35:01,766 --> 00:35:04,977
I'll call you later
if there are any new developments.

688
00:35:05,061 --> 00:35:06,437
All right. Good night.

689
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:07,939
Bye.

690
00:35:08,564 --> 00:35:10,775
-I'm sorry.
-Don't be. Nothing to be sorry about.

691
00:35:10,858 --> 00:35:14,362
-I get emotional.
-I know. Just give it a sec, okay?

692
00:35:15,822 --> 00:35:16,697
Andre said...

693
00:35:17,281 --> 00:35:19,575
that I ruined your life

694
00:35:19,659 --> 00:35:21,619
-and you hate me for it!
-That's...

695
00:35:21,702 --> 00:35:23,913
Helen! No! That's... no.

696
00:35:24,288 --> 00:35:25,331
-I...
-Yeah.

697
00:35:25,414 --> 00:35:26,249
No. I said--

698
00:35:26,332 --> 00:35:28,668
-It is. When I was chopping cucumbers.
-That's...

699
00:35:28,751 --> 00:35:32,380
I kind of said you have some abandonment
issues because of her. That's all.

700
00:35:32,463 --> 00:35:33,840
That's what you told...

701
00:35:35,758 --> 00:35:36,592
Okay.

702
00:35:48,479 --> 00:35:49,313
Mom.

703
00:35:50,106 --> 00:35:50,940
Yeah?

704
00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:52,942
Hey.

705
00:35:55,153 --> 00:35:55,987
Yeah?

706
00:35:56,362 --> 00:35:57,363
I love you.

707
00:35:59,740 --> 00:36:00,575
Mom.

708
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,202
I would do anything for you,

709
00:36:03,744 --> 00:36:05,037
and you know that.

710
00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:09,750
I would like to stay here for a few nights
if that's all right.

711
00:36:12,879 --> 00:36:15,840
-Well, there's not really a guest room.
-It's okay.

712
00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:38,112
Plague?

713
00:37:29,664 --> 00:37:30,873
Matthew Walker.

714
00:37:31,457 --> 00:37:32,959
Dartmouth graduate.

715
00:38:25,636 --> 00:38:27,096
Something smells good.

716
00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:29,140
It smelled better at six.

717
00:38:29,515 --> 00:38:30,349
Mom!

718
00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:32,476
You were supposed to be gone!

719
00:38:32,893 --> 00:38:33,853
Who said that?

720
00:38:34,603 --> 00:38:36,397
I said, "Lock up when you leave."

721
00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:38,149
I didn't leave yet.

722
00:38:39,191 --> 00:38:40,735
Is this your...

723
00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:41,944
girlfriend?

724
00:38:42,028 --> 00:38:43,863
This is Angel.

725
00:38:43,946 --> 00:38:46,157
Angel, this is Mom.

726
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:47,074
Hi.

727
00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:49,869
-How long have you two been together?
-A while.

728
00:38:50,202 --> 00:38:52,121
Been together about four months now.

729
00:38:53,748 --> 00:38:54,582
Wow!

730
00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:57,710
-Well, I'll make another plate.
-No. You don't need to!

731
00:38:57,793 --> 00:39:01,047
-Thank you, Mrs. Walker.
-You don't have to call her Mrs. Walker.

732
00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:03,841
Thank you... Mom?

733
00:39:05,885 --> 00:39:06,761
Wow!

734
00:39:15,144 --> 00:39:16,228
How the hell...

735
00:39:17,396 --> 00:39:18,272
Did she...

736
00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:28,032
Unbelievable. She just comes in and...

737
00:39:28,824 --> 00:39:29,950
makes her...

738
00:39:35,456 --> 00:39:36,540
No boundaries.

739
00:39:39,377 --> 00:39:41,253
So, what do you do, Angel?

740
00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:43,839
I'm still in school.

741
00:39:44,548 --> 00:39:46,842
Did Matt tell you
that he went to Dartmouth?

742
00:39:46,926 --> 00:39:47,760
No.

743
00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:49,387
That's amazing.

744
00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:53,474
I might take a year off to travel
before college,

745
00:39:54,141 --> 00:39:55,017
maybe go to Europe.

746
00:39:58,187 --> 00:39:59,480
So, you're...

747
00:39:59,772 --> 00:40:01,399
still in high school.

748
00:40:01,482 --> 00:40:02,483
You were in a bar.

749
00:40:02,566 --> 00:40:04,276
-I'm 18...
-You don't look it.

750
00:40:04,819 --> 00:40:05,653
Next month.

751
00:40:06,028 --> 00:40:08,489
-Seventeen.
-You never said that you were 17!

752
00:40:08,572 --> 00:40:11,117
Dating for four months,
you don't know how old she is?

753
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:14,537
You forced me to lie. You make it sound
like I can't be in a relationship.

754
00:40:14,620 --> 00:40:16,288
-I didn't force you.
-I just met her.

755
00:40:16,372 --> 00:40:18,249
She was with friends drinking, I paid.

756
00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:20,167
I didn't come with you
because you paid.

757
00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:22,670
He asked me to model for his magazine.

758
00:40:22,753 --> 00:40:25,297
-Because you said that you were a model.
-I am.

759
00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:27,716
I used to model children's clothing.

760
00:40:28,050 --> 00:40:30,136
When was that? Last year?

761
00:40:30,219 --> 00:40:32,471
Okay, I think that you should go.

762
00:40:33,556 --> 00:40:35,808
Could you make sure
she gets into a cab, at least?

763
00:40:35,891 --> 00:40:38,060
Know what?
I'd love to put both of you in a cab.

764
00:40:38,686 --> 00:40:41,105
-It was nice to meet you.
-Good night, Angel.

765
00:40:42,898 --> 00:40:43,983
Happy Birthday!

766
00:40:44,358 --> 00:40:45,276
Next month.

767
00:40:47,278 --> 00:40:48,112
No.

768
00:41:06,005 --> 00:41:06,964
-Hey.
-Hi.

769
00:41:08,591 --> 00:41:09,425
Thank you.

770
00:41:11,635 --> 00:41:13,846
I wouldn't have yelled at her
if she were my mom.

771
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,016
-You hate your mom.
-Because she yells at me.

772
00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:18,225
-Okay
-It's...

773
00:41:22,897 --> 00:41:25,483
-I will write her a note of apology.
-Thank you.

774
00:41:25,566 --> 00:41:27,902
And invite her to lunch,
where I'll apologize again.

775
00:41:28,527 --> 00:41:31,780
She doesn't really hear apologies
the first time through, so...

776
00:41:32,490 --> 00:41:33,365
Thank you.

777
00:41:36,118 --> 00:41:38,037
Do we have a cross I can nail the note to?

778
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:39,747
-Please just write the note.
-Sure.

779
00:41:45,252 --> 00:41:46,629
Mom.

780
00:41:47,963 --> 00:41:51,800
-Mom, I said I have somebody for that.
-No, you said you'd do it.

781
00:41:54,136 --> 00:41:56,013
I'm sorry about last night.

782
00:41:56,096 --> 00:41:57,223
Why are you sorry?

783
00:41:58,098 --> 00:42:00,851
-Because it was embarrassing.
-No, it wasn't embarrassing.

784
00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:03,604
Statutory rape,
but let's not argue semantics.

785
00:42:03,979 --> 00:42:06,398
It's never happened to me before.
I mean, 17?

786
00:42:06,482 --> 00:42:08,317
-I am not interested, Matt.
-What?

787
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,236
If you're gonna lie, I'm not interested.

788
00:42:10,319 --> 00:42:11,362
I'm not lying.

789
00:42:11,445 --> 00:42:14,615
I saw your magazine.
It is not about sports.

790
00:42:14,698 --> 00:42:15,699
I never said it was.

791
00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:19,245
You said you work for a men's magazine
called All Balls.

792
00:42:19,328 --> 00:42:21,080
What I was supposed to think, scrotum?

793
00:42:21,163 --> 00:42:24,542
A, that's not a word I need to hear
out of my mother's mouth, and B,

794
00:42:24,625 --> 00:42:26,085
you are not the demographic.

795
00:42:26,168 --> 00:42:29,088
Well, that much is clear.
So now I know the truth about you.

796
00:42:29,171 --> 00:42:32,383
My job has nothing to do
with that girl being underage. Young...

797
00:42:32,716 --> 00:42:34,760
younger than she has a right to be.

798
00:42:34,843 --> 00:42:36,637
So how old is she, do you think?

799
00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:38,472
-I don't know, Mom.
-You're the editor.

800
00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:39,890
I'm the art director.

801
00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:42,601
I design the look and the feel
of All Balls.

802
00:42:43,477 --> 00:42:44,770
The magazine.

803
00:42:44,853 --> 00:42:46,480
So it reflects your taste?

804
00:42:46,564 --> 00:42:48,440
It's my job, Mom.

805
00:42:48,774 --> 00:42:50,192
A job that I'm very good at.

806
00:42:50,526 --> 00:42:52,611
To tailor the content to our audience.

807
00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:55,990
And our audience happens to be young men,
and young men like young women.

808
00:42:56,574 --> 00:42:58,617
This is not a magazine
for under the mattress.

809
00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:01,620
We are Vanity Fair with half the brain
and twice the body.

810
00:43:01,704 --> 00:43:03,205
We are totally mainstream.

811
00:43:03,289 --> 00:43:06,166
Well, your father and I didn't raise you
to be mainstream.

812
00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:08,210
We raised you to be exceptional.

813
00:43:08,794 --> 00:43:11,547
-If your father were alive...
-What, he'd be disappointed?

814
00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:14,675
Because God forbid I haven't lived up
to his standards, right?

815
00:43:15,301 --> 00:43:16,677
But he's not here, Mom.

816
00:43:17,219 --> 00:43:19,430
So why are you still taking his side?

817
00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:23,767
What are you talking about?

818
00:43:25,811 --> 00:43:29,273
How come you never came
to any of my basketball games?

819
00:43:32,526 --> 00:43:34,194
That was your time with your father.

820
00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:37,448
He was the coach, you were the star.
I still have every trophy,

821
00:43:37,531 --> 00:43:40,576
and you have to know how proud I was
of every single win.

822
00:43:40,659 --> 00:43:41,785
What about when we lost?

823
00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:44,538
-You didn't lose very often.
-No, I didn't lose very often,

824
00:43:44,622 --> 00:43:47,041
because according to Dad,
failure wasn't an option.

825
00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:48,917
But apparently, now it is.

826
00:43:49,001 --> 00:43:52,504
-You are not a failure.
-Oh, no, I know that I'm not a failure.

827
00:43:52,588 --> 00:43:54,006
Why are you still lecturing me?

828
00:43:54,089 --> 00:43:56,383
I just want you to expect more
from your life.

829
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:59,094
Make the most of your time on this planet.

830
00:44:00,137 --> 00:44:02,431
I'm not the one
still living in the same house!

831
00:44:11,273 --> 00:44:14,610
Ma, did you break into my apartment
and steal my vodka?

832
00:44:17,029 --> 00:44:17,988
Vodka?

833
00:44:18,864 --> 00:44:20,032
That's crazy talk.

834
00:44:21,533 --> 00:44:24,495
Hey, we were supposed to have dinner.
I baked you a pie.

835
00:44:24,578 --> 00:44:26,622
I was on your date last night.

836
00:44:26,830 --> 00:44:28,749
What? How was it?

837
00:44:29,083 --> 00:44:31,043
I'd rather be bitten by the dog again.

838
00:44:33,003 --> 00:44:35,714
I had such hopes
for that girl from Yonkers.

839
00:44:36,423 --> 00:44:39,635
You know, sometimes it's the second date
where the magic happens.

840
00:44:48,727 --> 00:44:50,896
You want to meet me at the Met after work?

841
00:44:51,397 --> 00:44:52,231
I can't.

842
00:44:52,606 --> 00:44:54,566
I have a party at 1 Oak tonight.

843
00:44:55,275 --> 00:44:58,153
A product launch for a shampoo/body wash.

844
00:44:58,237 --> 00:45:00,030
-Oh, are mothers invited?
-No.

845
00:45:00,447 --> 00:45:02,282
I mean, no, it's...

846
00:45:03,033 --> 00:45:05,244
It's guest list only,
and you've got to RSVP.

847
00:45:07,830 --> 00:45:09,164
It's not even a party.

848
00:45:09,790 --> 00:45:12,584
It's work, and I shouldn't have even said
that it was a party.

849
00:45:24,304 --> 00:45:25,723
It was good to see you, Mom.

850
00:45:26,056 --> 00:45:26,890
Love you.

851
00:45:27,683 --> 00:45:30,394
And if you decide to leave, just lock up.

852
00:45:31,228 --> 00:45:32,062
Like I said.

853
00:45:32,896 --> 00:45:33,897
I'm not leaving.

854
00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:36,233
Okay.

855
00:45:39,945 --> 00:45:40,863
Look.

856
00:45:40,946 --> 00:45:42,990
Oh, it has little bees.

857
00:45:43,866 --> 00:45:45,325
Oh, my God.

858
00:45:45,409 --> 00:45:46,702
Can you imagine?

859
00:45:46,785 --> 00:45:48,996
Isn't it fabulous?
It's sort of conservative.

860
00:45:49,079 --> 00:45:50,706
What do we know about this party?

861
00:45:50,789 --> 00:45:52,541
There's a list, apparently.

862
00:45:52,624 --> 00:45:53,709
For a shampoo?

863
00:45:55,461 --> 00:45:56,628
I feel naked.

864
00:45:57,963 --> 00:46:01,592
-Oh, my. Where have you been hiding those?
-I try to de-emphasize.

865
00:46:01,675 --> 00:46:04,052
Why? They're spectacular.

866
00:46:04,428 --> 00:46:06,013
Is this appropriate, you think?

867
00:46:06,096 --> 00:46:08,974
That dress
or crashing your son's work party?

868
00:46:09,308 --> 00:46:12,144
Matt brought home a girl
almost half his age.

869
00:46:12,227 --> 00:46:14,646
Well, Larry married a girl
almost half his age.

870
00:46:14,730 --> 00:46:15,939
It's just what men do.

871
00:46:17,691 --> 00:46:18,650
How about these?

872
00:46:19,693 --> 00:46:21,945
Matt, he doesn't listen to me anymore,

873
00:46:22,321 --> 00:46:24,740
so I'm trying to listen to him.

874
00:46:25,157 --> 00:46:29,119
I'm trying to understand his life here,
support what he wants.

875
00:46:29,536 --> 00:46:31,038
Is that going too far?

876
00:46:31,121 --> 00:46:32,039
No.

877
00:46:32,664 --> 00:46:35,000
-That is admirable.
-Yes.

878
00:46:35,542 --> 00:46:39,880
You should go to that party
and you should wear this fabulous dress.

879
00:46:40,589 --> 00:46:42,549
And we should get your hair done.

880
00:46:45,511 --> 00:46:46,428
That's her.

881
00:46:46,762 --> 00:46:49,389
-Okay, well, is she any good?
-I don't know.

882
00:46:49,473 --> 00:46:51,266
-Carol, it's time.
-Time for what?

883
00:46:51,350 --> 00:46:52,684
-A new look.
-Yeah.

884
00:46:52,768 --> 00:46:55,646
Now, come on.
I got to meet Paul for lunch at one.

885
00:46:57,189 --> 00:46:59,358
-Hi, I'm Erin.
-Hello.

886
00:46:59,441 --> 00:47:01,735
And I see you bought your girl--
Oh, my gosh.

887
00:47:02,611 --> 00:47:03,654
Mrs. Lieberman.

888
00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:06,865
How crazy. Erin.

889
00:47:06,949 --> 00:47:10,369
Yes, it's Gillian.
And this is Carol and Helen.

890
00:47:10,452 --> 00:47:11,912
-Hi.
-Hello.

891
00:47:12,287 --> 00:47:14,540
-I know this is weird.
-Yep.

892
00:47:14,623 --> 00:47:15,624
And I'm sorry.

893
00:47:15,999 --> 00:47:17,042
But it was Carol.

894
00:47:17,292 --> 00:47:19,753
-Carol wants a makeover.
-No.

895
00:47:19,837 --> 00:47:22,840
I did not say "makeover," okay?

896
00:47:22,923 --> 00:47:25,008
Look... I'm going to a party tonight.

897
00:47:25,384 --> 00:47:26,802
But first things first,

898
00:47:26,885 --> 00:47:30,055
I need to know what is your experience
with my texture of hair?

899
00:47:30,138 --> 00:47:32,266
Oh, yeah, I do all types of hair.

900
00:47:32,349 --> 00:47:33,267
See?

901
00:47:34,643 --> 00:47:36,562
You're the perfect stylist.

902
00:47:36,645 --> 00:47:37,479
Perfect.

903
00:47:37,938 --> 00:47:38,772
Okay.

904
00:47:39,648 --> 00:47:40,482
Okay.

905
00:47:40,899 --> 00:47:41,733
Right?

906
00:47:44,027 --> 00:47:45,737
Does Daniel know you're here?

907
00:47:46,905 --> 00:47:48,991
No. This is all me.

908
00:47:49,074 --> 00:47:51,618
But I remembered
that you had mentioned this salon

909
00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:53,704
when we had brunch that one time.

910
00:47:53,954 --> 00:47:57,708
Right, and then you asked me
what I wanted to be when I grew up.

911
00:47:58,458 --> 00:47:59,501
Jesus.

912
00:48:00,043 --> 00:48:01,044
Did I?

913
00:48:03,630 --> 00:48:04,923
I'm so sorry.

914
00:48:05,215 --> 00:48:06,550
Anyhoo, let's just...

915
00:48:08,010 --> 00:48:10,429
-get Carol started.
-No.

916
00:48:10,512 --> 00:48:11,513
No rush.

917
00:48:11,597 --> 00:48:12,973
Let's not cut angry.

918
00:48:13,056 --> 00:48:15,142
I'm sorry. Did I say that I'm sorry?

919
00:48:15,225 --> 00:48:18,437
Yeah, no, three times now.
So, I think we're good.

920
00:48:20,147 --> 00:48:21,023
Okay.

921
00:48:21,565 --> 00:48:22,566
So, Carol...

922
00:48:22,649 --> 00:48:23,483
Yes.

923
00:48:23,567 --> 00:48:24,985
Are you open to a new shape?

924
00:48:25,068 --> 00:48:26,403
-Well...
-She is.

925
00:48:26,612 --> 00:48:28,739
Well, nothing severe.

926
00:48:28,822 --> 00:48:32,618
You know, Finn always loved my hair
just the way that it is, so...

927
00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:35,954
Well, you have a beautiful face.
We should frame your face.

928
00:48:37,205 --> 00:48:39,666
And I think we gotta rock these curls.

929
00:48:43,045 --> 00:48:44,004
That's great.

930
00:48:44,755 --> 00:48:45,589
Nice.

931
00:48:48,467 --> 00:48:49,301
Yes.

932
00:48:49,968 --> 00:48:51,178
You're my first cut.

933
00:48:53,805 --> 00:48:55,515
Okay, now put your head back.

934
00:48:58,226 --> 00:48:59,186
What do you think?

935
00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:02,648
Oh, my gosh!

936
00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:06,401
If you looked any younger,
Matt would date you.

937
00:49:06,485 --> 00:49:08,070
You're a miracle worker!

938
00:49:08,153 --> 00:49:10,113
-No.
-Really? Was it that tired?

939
00:49:10,197 --> 00:49:11,198
No...

940
00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:13,951
Erin, thank you. I love it.

941
00:49:14,242 --> 00:49:15,452
I just helped you be you.

942
00:49:18,372 --> 00:49:19,665
Look, Erin,

943
00:49:20,332 --> 00:49:21,750
I really have to apologize.

944
00:49:22,084 --> 00:49:23,835
-Again?
-Yes, again.

945
00:49:23,919 --> 00:49:25,796
I should have tried harder before.

946
00:49:25,879 --> 00:49:28,840
Listen, maybe I could take
you and Daniel out to lunch, and...

947
00:49:28,924 --> 00:49:30,759
Or maybe you could do my hair?

948
00:49:31,134 --> 00:49:32,803
Oh, now you volunteer.

949
00:49:33,136 --> 00:49:33,971
Thank you.

950
00:49:34,596 --> 00:49:36,473
No, I'm actually moving next week.

951
00:49:36,765 --> 00:49:38,225
What? Why? Where?

952
00:49:38,308 --> 00:49:42,145
My friend has a salon in Los Angeles,
so I'm gonna try the other coast.

953
00:49:42,437 --> 00:49:44,690
But it was so good to see you again.

954
00:49:44,773 --> 00:49:46,066
And enjoy your party, Carol.

955
00:49:47,067 --> 00:49:48,652
Well, how can I not now?

956
00:49:49,027 --> 00:49:50,654
-Thank you.
-Nice to meet you, Erin.

957
00:49:51,363 --> 00:49:52,322
How is he?

958
00:49:52,906 --> 00:49:54,241
He's...

959
00:49:54,700 --> 00:49:56,743
Yeah, well, you know,

960
00:49:56,827 --> 00:49:57,703
been better.

961
00:49:58,662 --> 00:49:59,579
With you...

962
00:50:00,247 --> 00:50:01,248
he was better.

963
00:50:02,374 --> 00:50:03,834
Until I broke his heart.

964
00:50:06,378 --> 00:50:07,796
But he broke mine first.

965
00:50:08,964 --> 00:50:09,923
So, we're even.

966
00:50:11,842 --> 00:50:12,676
He did.

967
00:50:18,390 --> 00:50:19,933
One thing I do know...

968
00:50:20,392 --> 00:50:23,979
the problem is not that I meddled,
it's that I should have meddled sooner.

969
00:50:24,896 --> 00:50:26,398
I wouldn't tell him that.

970
00:50:27,149 --> 00:50:28,775
Oh, there's Paul.

971
00:50:30,652 --> 00:50:32,404
Look at him, he's so handsome.

972
00:50:32,487 --> 00:50:33,697
Okay, we're not even here.

973
00:50:33,780 --> 00:50:35,741
-Go enjoy your apology.
-Yes, go.

974
00:50:36,950 --> 00:50:38,452
-Hi.
-I don't want him to see us.

975
00:50:38,535 --> 00:50:41,246
We're middle-aged women in Manhattan,
practically invisible.

976
00:50:42,748 --> 00:50:43,623
Okay.

977
00:50:43,999 --> 00:50:44,875
Thank you.

978
00:50:46,418 --> 00:50:47,335
Thank you.

979
00:50:48,420 --> 00:50:51,131
You were so thoughtful with the note.

980
00:50:52,132 --> 00:50:53,341
Was that Andre's idea?

981
00:50:55,469 --> 00:50:56,553
-Excuse me.
-Yes?

982
00:50:56,636 --> 00:50:59,347
I'm gonna have what she's having,
without the taunting.

983
00:51:01,266 --> 00:51:02,350
Listen, I'm...

984
00:51:02,684 --> 00:51:05,854
really sorry I attacked you last night
about Dad.

985
00:51:07,981 --> 00:51:08,815
Yeah.

986
00:51:09,357 --> 00:51:10,650
-Okay?
-Yes.

987
00:51:11,026 --> 00:51:11,902
Sorry.

988
00:51:14,571 --> 00:51:17,908
It's just not my problem
if you can't let go.

989
00:51:20,702 --> 00:51:22,162
I usually get the fish.

990
00:51:24,873 --> 00:51:27,167
-So...
-What do you mean, I can't let go?

991
00:51:29,002 --> 00:51:30,504
I'm just saying that's the issue.

992
00:51:31,713 --> 00:51:33,256
Well, you're absolutely wrong.

993
00:51:33,340 --> 00:51:36,176
I am happily married
to someone I am in love with.

994
00:51:36,259 --> 00:51:38,470
I will believe anything you tell me.

995
00:51:38,762 --> 00:51:40,597
Please stop patronizing me.

996
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:41,515
Thank you.

997
00:51:41,598 --> 00:51:42,682
-Enjoy.
-Thanks.

998
00:51:44,518 --> 00:51:47,062
I'm not patronizing, I'm apologizing.

999
00:51:47,145 --> 00:51:50,315
So, accusing me of having a sham marriage
is what you call an apology?

1000
00:51:50,398 --> 00:51:52,484
I'm not accusing you of anything.

1001
00:51:52,567 --> 00:51:54,861
I'm just trying to apologize.

1002
00:51:55,153 --> 00:51:57,197
You know, it's what you always do.

1003
00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:59,658
You always make
some outrageous accusation,

1004
00:51:59,741 --> 00:52:01,993
and then you act
as if I'm being hypersensitive

1005
00:52:02,077 --> 00:52:03,495
to notice that you've said it.

1006
00:52:03,870 --> 00:52:05,288
It's a small thing.

1007
00:52:05,372 --> 00:52:08,792
It's a tiny observation.
It's something that was obvious to me.

1008
00:52:09,209 --> 00:52:11,878
Mom, if I was wrong,
you wouldn't be so upset. Mom!

1009
00:52:12,295 --> 00:52:13,630
-Oh, my...
-We should go.

1010
00:52:13,713 --> 00:52:14,548
Don't--

1011
00:52:15,715 --> 00:52:16,716
We should go!

1012
00:52:17,884 --> 00:52:19,928
You should be ashamed of yourself.

1013
00:52:20,804 --> 00:52:22,055
Carol Walker?

1014
00:52:28,770 --> 00:52:29,855
Gillian Lieberman.

1015
00:52:30,939 --> 00:52:33,483
I don't know why she didn't tell you
that we're in town,

1016
00:52:33,567 --> 00:52:36,361
but I certainly wouldn't use
the word "conspiracy."

1017
00:52:36,444 --> 00:52:38,071
My feelings, or lack of them,

1018
00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:41,324
toward my husband and my ex-husband
are really none of your business.

1019
00:52:41,408 --> 00:52:43,118
Well, I didn't say they were.

1020
00:52:43,201 --> 00:52:44,536
That was meant for me.

1021
00:52:45,036 --> 00:52:46,872
And you have no place speculating

1022
00:52:46,955 --> 00:52:50,542
on what I may or may not
be thinking or feeling,

1023
00:52:50,625 --> 00:52:54,421
especially when your speculations
are inaccurate and deeply hurtful.

1024
00:52:54,504 --> 00:52:55,964
You are absolutely right.

1025
00:52:56,047 --> 00:52:57,257
Subject closed.

1026
00:52:57,340 --> 00:52:58,508
-Thank God.
-Yeah.

1027
00:52:58,592 --> 00:53:01,136
I think Carol and I should get going now.

1028
00:53:01,219 --> 00:53:04,139
Well, there's one more thing
I wanted to tell you.

1029
00:53:04,222 --> 00:53:06,391
Just... get everything out on the table.

1030
00:53:06,474 --> 00:53:09,561
Didn't want you to hear it
from somebody else or somebody else's son.

1031
00:53:09,644 --> 00:53:12,772
Or if I even needed to tell you,
'cause it doesn't really involve you.

1032
00:53:12,856 --> 00:53:14,149
Just come on, spit it out.

1033
00:53:14,608 --> 00:53:16,818
I... might not...

1034
00:53:18,612 --> 00:53:20,113
have children of my own.

1035
00:53:20,739 --> 00:53:23,575
-That much I figured.
-Gay people have children all the time.

1036
00:53:23,658 --> 00:53:25,952
-Do you want children?
-No, I do not.

1037
00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:28,163
The point is that gay men have...

1038
00:53:28,872 --> 00:53:30,665
sperm, and lesbians have wombs,

1039
00:53:30,749 --> 00:53:33,835
and we don't need straight people
to tell us what we can or can't do.

1040
00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:35,045
What?

1041
00:53:36,338 --> 00:53:38,089
This is why I didn't want to tell you.

1042
00:53:38,173 --> 00:53:41,343
You are too young
to make a decision like this.

1043
00:53:41,426 --> 00:53:44,596
-A decision like what?
-Two mommies and a sperm-daddy, right?

1044
00:53:44,679 --> 00:53:47,098
Mom, what I'm saying is...

1045
00:53:47,557 --> 00:53:52,479
if I lent my sperm
to two women that I knew and trusted,

1046
00:53:52,562 --> 00:53:55,649
then I would know that the child
would be loved and cared for--

1047
00:53:55,732 --> 00:53:59,236
Are you saying you weren't loved?
Are you trying to make me feel guilty?

1048
00:53:59,319 --> 00:54:00,820
This has nothing to do with you.

1049
00:54:00,904 --> 00:54:03,615
-This is about me.
-And the gift you're giving your friends?

1050
00:54:03,698 --> 00:54:06,409
Yes, the gift I'm giving my friends,
which I feel good about

1051
00:54:06,493 --> 00:54:08,453
because I love them,
and they love the baby.

1052
00:54:13,708 --> 00:54:15,252
-Did he say baby?
-You have a baby?

1053
00:54:15,335 --> 00:54:18,838
-There's a baby?
-What did you think we were talking about?

1054
00:54:19,214 --> 00:54:22,759
Sperm!
I thought we were talking about sperm!

1055
00:54:22,842 --> 00:54:24,261
A baby takes nine months.

1056
00:54:24,344 --> 00:54:27,472
-You've kept this from me for nine months?
-Mom, the more of a scene--

1057
00:54:27,555 --> 00:54:31,142
This has been a lovely lunch,
even though we didn't have lunch.

1058
00:54:31,226 --> 00:54:32,143
So, don't get up.

1059
00:54:32,227 --> 00:54:34,813
Please, just sit there and have more
not your children,

1060
00:54:34,896 --> 00:54:38,525
so I can have more not my grandchildren,
and we can get together for the holidays

1061
00:54:38,608 --> 00:54:40,527
and have one big, not happy, not a family,

1062
00:54:40,610 --> 00:54:43,029
because I'm not a mother anymore,
I'm an other.

1063
00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:45,573
-And now I am not a grandmother...
-What is...

1064
00:54:45,657 --> 00:54:46,992
I am a grand-other!

1065
00:54:47,784 --> 00:54:48,618
Helen, sweetie!

1066
00:54:48,702 --> 00:54:51,663
-Your hair looks very nice, Carol.
-Well, thank you, Paul.

1067
00:54:51,746 --> 00:54:54,291
But that was not an apology.

1068
00:54:57,335 --> 00:54:58,169
Helen!

1069
00:55:00,672 --> 00:55:03,216
I thought you didn't want to be
a grandmother.

1070
00:55:03,300 --> 00:55:07,387
Well, I just don't want things
to be taken away from me.

1071
00:55:07,887 --> 00:55:08,722
I mean...

1072
00:55:09,264 --> 00:55:11,933
now someone else gets my grandchild,

1073
00:55:12,225 --> 00:55:14,853
just like someone else got my husband.

1074
00:55:15,937 --> 00:55:17,981
How did this become about Larry?

1075
00:55:18,064 --> 00:55:20,650
Because divorce is not fair.

1076
00:55:21,609 --> 00:55:24,321
Divorce is great for men.
They get someone...

1077
00:55:24,404 --> 00:55:25,280
younger,

1078
00:55:25,739 --> 00:55:27,282
thinner, better.

1079
00:55:27,365 --> 00:55:32,412
And women get someone older and fatter,
with thinner hair!

1080
00:55:34,956 --> 00:55:36,458
I got a text from Daniel.

1081
00:55:37,917 --> 00:55:39,919
"Stop calling me."

1082
00:55:41,838 --> 00:55:42,881
What should I reply?

1083
00:55:42,964 --> 00:55:44,716
Please, don't reply.

1084
00:55:45,133 --> 00:55:45,967
Let's just...

1085
00:55:46,676 --> 00:55:49,596
Let's just go home
before we do any more damage.

1086
00:55:49,679 --> 00:55:51,765
No. Carol.

1087
00:55:51,848 --> 00:55:54,851
You and your boobs are going out,
and I don't mean me and Helen.

1088
00:55:54,934 --> 00:55:55,852
Yeah.

1089
00:55:55,935 --> 00:55:58,355
-Carol, you go out and have fun.
-Yeah.

1090
00:55:59,147 --> 00:56:02,650
I wish Larry had died on me, too.

1091
00:56:06,905 --> 00:56:09,574
You should think more about what you say

1092
00:56:10,116 --> 00:56:11,826
and less about what you feel.

1093
00:56:12,243 --> 00:56:13,828
I'm so sorry.

1094
00:56:16,039 --> 00:56:17,791
What did I say?

1095
00:56:19,125 --> 00:56:19,959
What?

1096
00:56:20,043 --> 00:56:21,086
Really?

1097
00:56:28,635 --> 00:56:29,469
Excuse me.

1098
00:56:31,721 --> 00:56:33,765
I'm a guest of Matt Walker.

1099
00:56:34,265 --> 00:56:35,934
Do you have him on the list?

1100
00:56:36,601 --> 00:56:37,977
He's All Balls.

1101
00:56:38,603 --> 00:56:39,437
The magazine.

1102
00:56:40,271 --> 00:56:41,439
It's a magazine.

1103
00:56:41,523 --> 00:56:43,149
Yeah. I know Matt.

1104
00:56:43,733 --> 00:56:46,152
He's already checked in.
He doesn't have a plus one.

1105
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:49,656
I'm his mother. Carol Walker.

1106
00:56:50,031 --> 00:56:51,574
I have a driver's license.

1107
00:56:54,035 --> 00:56:54,869
There.

1108
00:56:55,829 --> 00:56:58,790
And a picture of Matt in the tub
when he was three.

1109
00:56:59,749 --> 00:57:01,000
Does he have a woody?

1110
00:57:02,252 --> 00:57:05,171
Oh, no, that's a toy boat.

1111
00:57:05,255 --> 00:57:07,006
Oh, my God.

1112
00:57:10,844 --> 00:57:12,262
It's for Instagram.

1113
00:57:14,722 --> 00:57:15,682
She's good.

1114
00:57:50,758 --> 00:57:53,011
Excuse me.

1115
00:57:53,094 --> 00:57:54,053
Excuse me.

1116
00:58:04,772 --> 00:58:06,149
I ruined your dress.

1117
00:58:06,649 --> 00:58:08,693
-I'm so sorry.
-I never liked this dress.

1118
00:58:08,776 --> 00:58:09,861
Oh, it's all my fault.

1119
00:58:10,361 --> 00:58:11,488
I'm running from my son.

1120
00:58:12,739 --> 00:58:13,615
I'm Julia.

1121
00:58:15,366 --> 00:58:17,160
Carol... Walker.

1122
00:58:17,535 --> 00:58:19,329
Why are you running from your son?

1123
00:58:19,954 --> 00:58:21,706
Well, he told me I couldn't come.

1124
00:58:22,081 --> 00:58:23,082
That's not nice.

1125
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:24,709
Maybe it was.

1126
00:58:24,792 --> 00:58:27,295
Maybe he knew everyone here
would be 30 years younger,

1127
00:58:27,378 --> 00:58:30,131
and I would feel like the last dinosaur.

1128
00:58:31,508 --> 00:58:34,802
-Well, thank you, Damon. Thank you.
-You're very welcome.

1129
00:58:36,679 --> 00:58:39,224
Damon, Damon, Damon.

1130
00:58:39,474 --> 00:58:40,308
Hey.

1131
00:58:40,391 --> 00:58:42,852
Hey, would a grandma wear these?

1132
00:58:42,936 --> 00:58:45,480
No, especially not to bed.

1133
00:58:45,563 --> 00:58:49,025
We are not going to bed,
we are going clubbing.

1134
00:58:49,692 --> 00:58:52,320
I didn't go clubbing
when I was supposed to go clubbing.

1135
00:58:52,403 --> 00:58:53,988
Would we even get into a club?

1136
00:58:54,072 --> 00:58:57,200
Well, I didn't think I'd get
into these jeans, and look at me now.

1137
00:58:57,283 --> 00:58:58,243
Can you breathe?

1138
00:58:58,326 --> 00:58:59,410
Sporadically.

1139
00:58:59,494 --> 00:59:02,038
Come on. Let's go downstairs.

1140
00:59:02,121 --> 00:59:04,624
This hotel is supposed to be
a huge party scene.

1141
00:59:04,707 --> 00:59:06,167
Just call for a bellboy.

1142
00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:09,462
One's more gorgeous than the next,
and they come to you.

1143
00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:12,090
I know. You've called for ice twice.

1144
00:59:12,173 --> 00:59:13,925
Just fuck one of them already.

1145
00:59:14,008 --> 00:59:15,552
What? I'm thirsty.

1146
00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:18,388
Come on, we are in New York City.

1147
00:59:18,471 --> 00:59:20,181
Let's go!

1148
00:59:20,932 --> 00:59:22,600
Okay. Let me take a shower.

1149
00:59:23,476 --> 00:59:24,394
Yes.

1150
00:59:24,477 --> 00:59:25,687
I think this might be him.

1151
00:59:26,062 --> 00:59:27,981
Is he the most handsome guy in the room?

1152
00:59:28,982 --> 00:59:30,024
He's got swagger.

1153
00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:34,654
That's him.

1154
00:59:35,905 --> 00:59:37,282
I can't talk to him right now.

1155
00:59:37,740 --> 00:59:38,575
Matt...

1156
00:59:39,325 --> 00:59:41,202
has never seen me drunk.

1157
00:59:42,662 --> 00:59:46,708
So, tell me more about this non-profit
that you're working with.

1158
00:59:46,791 --> 00:59:48,334
It's called micro lending.

1159
00:59:48,418 --> 00:59:51,671
We provide small loans
for the world's poorest of the poor,

1160
00:59:51,754 --> 00:59:52,797
mostly women,

1161
00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:55,383
so they can work their own way
out of poverty.

1162
00:59:55,466 --> 00:59:58,845
I want you to give my son a child.

1163
01:00:02,181 --> 01:00:03,016
Matt...

1164
01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:06,144
He may seem vain, and superficial, and...

1165
01:00:06,227 --> 01:00:10,648
so afraid of any real emotion
that it makes you cry.

1166
01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:14,235
But he's basically good.

1167
01:00:14,819 --> 01:00:19,449
He has it in him to be a really good man.

1168
01:00:20,199 --> 01:00:22,076
I need you to show him

1169
01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:24,621
how to be that man.

1170
01:00:27,415 --> 01:00:29,208
I think we should get you home.

1171
01:00:30,293 --> 01:00:31,252
Let's dance.

1172
01:00:31,502 --> 01:00:34,172
I used to love to dance.

1173
01:00:40,678 --> 01:00:43,181
Matt's dad used to take me dancing.

1174
01:00:44,182 --> 01:00:45,391
He's dead now.

1175
01:00:45,975 --> 01:00:47,310
That's why he stopped.

1176
01:00:51,981 --> 01:00:52,815
Mom!

1177
01:00:54,025 --> 01:00:54,942
What are you...

1178
01:00:55,735 --> 01:00:57,945
What is all this?
What happened to your hair?

1179
01:00:58,029 --> 01:01:00,657
And Mom, you did not have those
this morning.

1180
01:01:01,991 --> 01:01:02,825
Matt...

1181
01:01:03,743 --> 01:01:05,620
I'm in love with Julia!

1182
01:01:07,330 --> 01:01:10,166
I love her. I think you might, too.

1183
01:01:13,044 --> 01:01:14,962
Okay, let go of her hand.

1184
01:01:15,046 --> 01:01:16,297
She is my mother.

1185
01:01:16,381 --> 01:01:19,092
Dancing does not make you a lesbian.

1186
01:01:19,175 --> 01:01:22,053
-Your dad liked lesbians, by the way.
-Mom.

1187
01:01:22,136 --> 01:01:24,305
I found his videos after he died.

1188
01:01:24,722 --> 01:01:27,433
Please, stop talking and dancing.

1189
01:01:27,517 --> 01:01:30,687
You know what?
Let's just get you into a cab.

1190
01:01:30,770 --> 01:01:32,313
You get into a cab!

1191
01:01:33,147 --> 01:01:34,399
I'm having dessert.

1192
01:01:36,526 --> 01:01:38,027
I may stay out all night.

1193
01:01:38,444 --> 01:01:40,279
I may drink from a shoe.

1194
01:01:41,322 --> 01:01:43,658
I was a girl before I was your mother.

1195
01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:47,704
All right, does this outfit work?

1196
01:01:47,787 --> 01:01:49,956
I mean, outside Poughkeepsie.

1197
01:01:57,088 --> 01:01:57,922
Shoot.

1198
01:01:58,756 --> 01:01:59,924
-Hey.
-Gillian.

1199
01:02:00,883 --> 01:02:02,427
I need my friends.

1200
01:02:03,511 --> 01:02:04,887
He barely recognized me.

1201
01:02:04,971 --> 01:02:06,389
Because of your new look?

1202
01:02:06,472 --> 01:02:08,933
No! Because I was having fun!

1203
01:02:09,016 --> 01:02:11,602
-That's what we were supposed to do.
-You passed out.

1204
01:02:11,686 --> 01:02:14,105
By the way, you have incredible
new beauty products.

1205
01:02:14,188 --> 01:02:15,982
Yeah. It's all anti-aging.

1206
01:02:16,065 --> 01:02:18,192
Why is everyone anti-aging?

1207
01:02:18,276 --> 01:02:20,153
You know what's anti-aging?

1208
01:02:20,236 --> 01:02:21,070
Death.

1209
01:02:21,404 --> 01:02:22,864
Let's be happy we're aging.

1210
01:02:22,947 --> 01:02:23,781
-Yeah.
-Yeah.

1211
01:02:24,115 --> 01:02:25,032
By the way,

1212
01:02:25,116 --> 01:02:29,245
do you know how long it's been
since I have had--

1213
01:02:29,328 --> 01:02:30,163
Sex?

1214
01:02:30,913 --> 01:02:32,498
I was gonna say pizza.

1215
01:02:39,005 --> 01:02:40,715
I'm not going home tonight.

1216
01:02:41,132 --> 01:02:42,467
I mean, Matt's home.

1217
01:02:43,092 --> 01:02:44,135
I'm on vacation.

1218
01:02:44,218 --> 01:02:46,971
-So, we're done with the mission?
-We have a new mission.

1219
01:02:48,097 --> 01:02:49,599
Dance till dawn.

1220
01:02:51,267 --> 01:02:53,478
But... did we fail the first mission?

1221
01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:55,313
Fuck the first mission!

1222
01:02:55,396 --> 01:02:56,606
What about the boys?

1223
01:02:56,814 --> 01:02:58,649
Fuck the boys!

1224
01:02:58,816 --> 01:02:59,901
Wow!

1225
01:02:59,984 --> 01:03:01,819
Man, I love the new Carol!

1226
01:03:01,903 --> 01:03:02,987
Yeah!

1227
01:03:03,070 --> 01:03:04,864
Yes!

1228
01:03:40,441 --> 01:03:41,275
One more.

1229
01:03:50,576 --> 01:03:51,828
Get it, girl! Get it!

1230
01:03:53,621 --> 01:03:55,206
One, two, three.

1231
01:04:02,672 --> 01:04:03,506
Yes!

1232
01:04:24,110 --> 01:04:24,986
Come on.

1233
01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:40,501
Yeah.

1234
01:04:48,509 --> 01:04:49,343
It's you.

1235
01:04:53,806 --> 01:04:55,308
Your mother left this in the cab.

1236
01:04:57,393 --> 01:04:58,227
Thank you.

1237
01:04:59,186 --> 01:05:00,438
Do you know where she is?

1238
01:05:00,521 --> 01:05:01,397
Sleeping.

1239
01:05:01,856 --> 01:05:02,690
It's early.

1240
01:05:03,065 --> 01:05:04,400
-Is she?
-Isn't she?

1241
01:05:05,067 --> 01:05:06,819
This isn't where I dropped her.

1242
01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:09,280
I got your address from her phone.

1243
01:05:15,995 --> 01:05:16,829
Ma?

1244
01:05:18,831 --> 01:05:22,376
-Okay, where did you drop her?
-At a pizza place in the Village.

1245
01:05:22,460 --> 01:05:25,296
-She was meeting friends.
-She doesn't eat pizza.

1246
01:05:25,838 --> 01:05:28,049
And she doesn't have any friends
in the Village.

1247
01:05:28,132 --> 01:05:30,927
The hair and the dress.
Like she wanted people to look at her,

1248
01:05:31,010 --> 01:05:32,178
and that's not my mother.

1249
01:05:32,261 --> 01:05:35,640
-Okay? She doesn't even like dancing.
-She loves to dance.

1250
01:05:39,602 --> 01:05:40,436
Right.

1251
01:05:41,854 --> 01:05:45,107
My name and number are on a napkin
in the phone case.

1252
01:05:46,734 --> 01:05:48,152
I'd like to know she's okay.

1253
01:05:52,949 --> 01:05:53,783
Wait.

1254
01:05:53,866 --> 01:05:55,117
Hey. Hi, Mrs. Dean.

1255
01:05:55,576 --> 01:05:56,410
Julia.

1256
01:05:57,244 --> 01:05:59,080
Look, thanks. That was...

1257
01:06:00,706 --> 01:06:01,624
That was nice.

1258
01:06:02,708 --> 01:06:04,627
Great photo on Instagram, by the way.

1259
01:06:05,044 --> 01:06:05,878
What?

1260
01:06:12,218 --> 01:06:13,803
Is that someone knocking?

1261
01:06:14,303 --> 01:06:16,097
Or is it just my head pounding?

1262
01:06:16,347 --> 01:06:17,974
You go out, Gill. Go.

1263
01:06:18,182 --> 01:06:19,100
Why me?

1264
01:06:20,142 --> 01:06:20,977
Okay.

1265
01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:27,400
What is it?

1266
01:06:27,483 --> 01:06:28,859
-Hey, Mom.
-Daniel.

1267
01:06:28,943 --> 01:06:31,028
-Excuse me.
-What? Matt?

1268
01:06:32,279 --> 01:06:33,197
-They're here.
-Yeah.

1269
01:06:34,198 --> 01:06:35,032
Mom.

1270
01:06:35,116 --> 01:06:35,950
Mom!

1271
01:06:36,701 --> 01:06:40,246
Is this why you couldn't make a call?
Your new friend dropped this off.

1272
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:43,082
-Why?
-We were worried sick.

1273
01:06:43,165 --> 01:06:44,834
Did I invite any of you in?

1274
01:06:44,917 --> 01:06:46,669
Did we invite any of you to New York?

1275
01:06:46,752 --> 01:06:49,088
Okay, could everyone
just please stop shouting?

1276
01:06:49,171 --> 01:06:50,339
I have a hangover.

1277
01:06:51,132 --> 01:06:54,635
Yeah, Mom, that's what happens
when you get drunk at my work party.

1278
01:06:54,927 --> 01:06:57,263
And now there is a naked picture of me
on Instagram.

1279
01:06:57,346 --> 01:07:00,307
-I had nothing to do with a naked picture.
-In the tub.

1280
01:07:01,517 --> 01:07:03,561
Oh, yeah. Well, I just showed one person.

1281
01:07:03,644 --> 01:07:05,146
We're allowed to be in New York.

1282
01:07:05,229 --> 01:07:07,398
I had no idea where you were last night.

1283
01:07:07,481 --> 01:07:10,109
I had no idea I had a grandchild,
so we're even.

1284
01:07:11,902 --> 01:07:12,820
I told her.

1285
01:07:13,154 --> 01:07:14,822
See, Paul talks to his mom.

1286
01:07:14,905 --> 01:07:16,866
Why did you break up with Erin?

1287
01:07:16,949 --> 01:07:19,076
Ma, yesterday you told me
you were checking out.

1288
01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:20,494
Why are you still here again?

1289
01:07:20,578 --> 01:07:23,664
-Wait, hang on. You've been in a hotel?
-Why? Is that a crime?

1290
01:07:23,748 --> 01:07:27,418
-Why didn't you stay in a hotel?
-Well, Helen and Gillian wouldn't let me.

1291
01:07:27,501 --> 01:07:29,003
Why? What's wrong with a hotel?

1292
01:07:29,086 --> 01:07:31,172
Well, I'll tell you what's wrong
with this one.

1293
01:07:31,255 --> 01:07:32,590
The security stinks.

1294
01:07:33,049 --> 01:07:35,176
Would you put on a robe at least?

1295
01:07:35,259 --> 01:07:39,430
-Oh, what do you care? You're gay. Here.
-You know what? I'm gay, not blind.

1296
01:07:39,513 --> 01:07:41,640
Okay, Matt, I'll see you at home.

1297
01:07:41,724 --> 01:07:43,059
Your home is in Poughkeepsie!

1298
01:07:43,142 --> 01:07:44,977
-That's not nice.
-I'm sorry.

1299
01:07:48,814 --> 01:07:49,732
Bye, Ma.

1300
01:07:52,109 --> 01:07:55,362
-I've wanted to see those since I was ten.
-Those are some nice titties.

1301
01:07:55,446 --> 01:07:57,782
Talk about something other
than my mother's breasts.

1302
01:07:57,865 --> 01:08:00,826
-She's a lovely lady.
-How about where we're going to lunch?

1303
01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:03,245
How about we talk about Woody Walker?

1304
01:08:03,329 --> 01:08:04,163
Oh, my God.

1305
01:08:04,246 --> 01:08:06,957
-You should be proud.
-It was a toy boat!

1306
01:08:07,041 --> 01:08:09,835
-A penis-shaped toy boat?
-Seventy thousand likes?

1307
01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:10,878
Let me see that.

1308
01:08:14,131 --> 01:08:15,382
I am so mad at her.

1309
01:08:15,466 --> 01:08:17,384
-Just breathe. Stop.
-So...

1310
01:08:21,764 --> 01:08:22,640
I forgive you.

1311
01:08:24,266 --> 01:08:25,559
Okay, good.

1312
01:08:27,228 --> 01:08:29,271
Did you tell Larry he has a grandchild?

1313
01:08:29,814 --> 01:08:31,107
I'm gonna go to the store.

1314
01:08:31,816 --> 01:08:32,650
Yes.

1315
01:08:32,733 --> 01:08:34,777
And he respected my decision.

1316
01:08:35,194 --> 01:08:36,195
I'm sure he did.

1317
01:08:38,447 --> 01:08:40,282
It does not matter anyway, Mom.

1318
01:08:40,950 --> 01:08:42,660
Dad does not have a grandchild.

1319
01:08:42,743 --> 01:08:44,703
-You do not have a grandchild.
-I know.

1320
01:08:44,787 --> 01:08:46,163
I do not have a daughter.

1321
01:08:46,247 --> 01:08:47,790
This was sperm only.

1322
01:08:47,873 --> 01:08:50,167
Oh, Paul, it's a girl?

1323
01:08:54,171 --> 01:08:55,172
I'm going home.

1324
01:08:56,257 --> 01:08:57,591
I shouldn't have come.

1325
01:08:58,092 --> 01:09:01,303
Well, what did you think
was gonna happen, Mom?

1326
01:09:03,013 --> 01:09:04,974
I thought you wouldn't let me in.

1327
01:09:05,432 --> 01:09:06,559
That was an option?

1328
01:09:08,060 --> 01:09:09,103
You're popular.

1329
01:09:10,146 --> 01:09:11,147
You're successful.

1330
01:09:12,064 --> 01:09:14,108
Mom, you make it sound so depressing.

1331
01:09:14,191 --> 01:09:17,528
No, this is what's supposed to happen
to children.

1332
01:09:18,612 --> 01:09:20,406
You're fully independent.

1333
01:09:20,823 --> 01:09:23,617
Mom, why does it feel
like we're breaking up?

1334
01:09:23,701 --> 01:09:26,537
Matthew, I need to tell you something.

1335
01:09:27,037 --> 01:09:30,791
Your dad didn't want me at your games.
That's why I didn't go.

1336
01:09:32,209 --> 01:09:33,878
I thought he drove you too hard.

1337
01:09:33,961 --> 01:09:36,964
And we would argue about it,
and finally, he said,

1338
01:09:37,047 --> 01:09:39,300
"Well, stop coming if it bothers you."

1339
01:09:40,134 --> 01:09:41,468
So, I did.

1340
01:09:43,220 --> 01:09:45,639
And then all the trophies
started rolling in,

1341
01:09:45,723 --> 01:09:48,517
and I thought he was right
and I was wrong.

1342
01:09:50,060 --> 01:09:52,313
And now it turns out that I was right.

1343
01:09:54,356 --> 01:09:57,193
And what's so ironic is that...

1344
01:09:58,694 --> 01:10:01,614
you did need me then,
and you don't need me now.

1345
01:10:02,531 --> 01:10:04,074
Mom, I'm fine.

1346
01:10:05,409 --> 01:10:08,120
-Right? I turned out fine, right?
-Matthew...

1347
01:10:08,829 --> 01:10:10,789
You know who you are without me.

1348
01:10:13,459 --> 01:10:16,003
I need to figure out who I am without you.

1349
01:10:29,516 --> 01:10:32,770
So, apparently, the one
who didn't carry the baby

1350
01:10:32,853 --> 01:10:35,522
is saying that her mother
is the daddy granny,

1351
01:10:35,606 --> 01:10:38,150
so, I'm not anything.

1352
01:10:38,525 --> 01:10:41,362
And they even had the gall to tell Paul

1353
01:10:41,445 --> 01:10:43,948
they didn't want me to even see Ella.

1354
01:10:44,031 --> 01:10:46,325
-Well, what changed their mind?
-Nothing.

1355
01:10:46,408 --> 01:10:48,244
And you know what is most unfair?

1356
01:10:48,327 --> 01:10:49,578
I always wanted a girl.

1357
01:10:49,662 --> 01:10:50,913
Larry was one and done,

1358
01:10:50,996 --> 01:10:53,165
but I would've had three
if he hadn't been--

1359
01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:55,834
Wait, why are we here
if you can't see the kid?

1360
01:10:55,918 --> 01:10:58,671
I could be hijacking Erin's moving van
right now.

1361
01:10:58,754 --> 01:11:02,049
-It's not a perfect plan, but it's a plan.
-I thought we were going home.

1362
01:11:02,132 --> 01:11:04,593
Yeah, we are.
We're just stopping in Cobble Hill first.

1363
01:11:04,677 --> 01:11:08,222
I convinced Paul to give me the address.
I don't want to show up empty-handed.

1364
01:11:08,305 --> 01:11:11,809
Well, we weren't wanted by our sons.
That didn't stop us.

1365
01:11:11,892 --> 01:11:15,062
Yeah, I am so tired of being stopped.

1366
01:11:15,271 --> 01:11:19,400
Larry said if it meant so much to me
to have a girl, I should've had twins.

1367
01:11:19,483 --> 01:11:21,485
Larry, Larry, Larry! Enough with Larry!

1368
01:11:21,568 --> 01:11:24,738
We never want to hear his name again.
We never even liked him.

1369
01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:29,868
Look, you've been divorced from that idiot
for 11 years.

1370
01:11:29,952 --> 01:11:32,371
You still talk about him
in the present tense.

1371
01:11:32,746 --> 01:11:34,957
You're wasting a good marriage

1372
01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:37,251
because you refuse to let go of a bad one.

1373
01:11:37,334 --> 01:11:39,670
-What about baby yoga mats?
-Are you jealous?

1374
01:11:39,753 --> 01:11:41,547
-Is that what this is about?
-What?

1375
01:11:41,630 --> 01:11:44,174
You're jealous that I'm the one
that has a grandchild?

1376
01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:45,217
-Oh, Helen.
-What?

1377
01:11:45,301 --> 01:11:48,012
We are thrilled
that you get to meet Ella today.

1378
01:11:48,387 --> 01:11:50,973
I think what Gillian is trying to say

1379
01:11:51,056 --> 01:11:53,309
is that you have something special
in Frank.

1380
01:11:53,684 --> 01:11:57,271
The way he looks at you,
the way he talks about you.

1381
01:11:57,354 --> 01:12:01,525
You have no idea how fortunate you are
to have Frank instead of Larry.

1382
01:12:01,608 --> 01:12:02,776
We're not jealous of you.

1383
01:12:02,860 --> 01:12:05,904
Paul went in a room and jerked off.
If that makes you a grandmother,

1384
01:12:05,988 --> 01:12:08,365
-then we're all grandmothers.
-Let's stop, all right?

1385
01:12:08,449 --> 01:12:12,161
We've already pissed off our sons.
We are all that we have left.

1386
01:12:12,786 --> 01:12:14,204
Jealous?

1387
01:12:14,288 --> 01:12:16,290
Oh, my God.

1388
01:12:16,707 --> 01:12:18,542
What is wrong with you, Helen?

1389
01:12:22,171 --> 01:12:23,422
Okay.

1390
01:12:23,881 --> 01:12:25,424
I'm gonna tell you what's wrong.

1391
01:12:25,507 --> 01:12:27,384
And it has been brewing for 11 years.

1392
01:12:27,718 --> 01:12:29,845
You know why I divorced Larry, right?

1393
01:12:29,928 --> 01:12:31,055
Yeah. He cheated on you.

1394
01:12:31,138 --> 01:12:34,016
Yeah. It was that year our husbands
went on that fishing trip

1395
01:12:34,099 --> 01:12:35,309
-to the Berkshires.
-Right.

1396
01:12:35,392 --> 01:12:36,935
Okay, Helen. You win.

1397
01:12:37,019 --> 01:12:40,064
And Larry had a fuck buddy up there,
and I found out about it,

1398
01:12:40,147 --> 01:12:43,108
and I had the courage
and the self-dignity to leave.

1399
01:12:43,192 --> 01:12:45,319
He was paying her rent
from Paul's college fund.

1400
01:12:45,652 --> 01:12:47,571
She was an anorexic blonde vegan,

1401
01:12:47,654 --> 01:12:50,949
and she had a friend
for Gillian's husband.

1402
01:12:51,992 --> 01:12:54,828
Joel cheated on Gillian
just like Larry cheated on me,

1403
01:12:54,912 --> 01:12:56,330
but she forgave him.

1404
01:12:56,413 --> 01:13:00,918
I don't expect you to understand
why I forgave Joel,

1405
01:13:01,001 --> 01:13:03,962
because the only person
you've ever truly loved is yourself.

1406
01:13:04,338 --> 01:13:06,757
Not Larry, and not Frank,

1407
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:10,886
and not Carol, or me,
or your new "spermdaughter,"

1408
01:13:10,969 --> 01:13:12,805
not even your own son!

1409
01:13:13,722 --> 01:13:17,017
The only person you ever loved was you.

1410
01:13:17,726 --> 01:13:18,560
Okay.

1411
01:13:18,977 --> 01:13:21,397
Well, if you are so much better at loving,

1412
01:13:21,480 --> 01:13:25,275
then why is your son the one
who's broke, depressed, and jobless?

1413
01:13:26,527 --> 01:13:27,611
I'll tell you why.

1414
01:13:28,028 --> 01:13:30,781
Because you sabotaged
his chance at happiness.

1415
01:13:31,323 --> 01:13:34,701
-That is bullshit, and you know it.
-Is it? He had a ring.

1416
01:13:34,868 --> 01:13:35,869
But you...

1417
01:13:35,953 --> 01:13:38,997
You planted so many doubts.

1418
01:13:39,081 --> 01:13:41,250
Not just about Erin, but about himself,

1419
01:13:41,333 --> 01:13:43,627
so that when he finally had the balls
to propose,

1420
01:13:43,710 --> 01:13:45,754
he caught Erin schtupping her trainer.

1421
01:13:45,838 --> 01:13:47,423
I think Daniel would've mentioned--

1422
01:13:47,506 --> 01:13:49,675
He didn't want to give you
the satisfaction.

1423
01:13:49,758 --> 01:13:51,760
You hated Erin until ten minutes ago.

1424
01:13:51,844 --> 01:13:53,387
Paul told me.

1425
01:13:53,929 --> 01:13:55,055
Did you know about this?

1426
01:14:00,310 --> 01:14:03,063
I think Matt mentioned something
once about a ring.

1427
01:14:03,147 --> 01:14:05,816
-Helen. About that fishing trip.
-No.

1428
01:14:06,024 --> 01:14:09,528
-Carol, let's just go now.
-And Paul jerked off to create a person.

1429
01:14:09,611 --> 01:14:11,613
Helen, in the Berkshires...

1430
01:14:14,408 --> 01:14:17,161
did the vegan have someone for Finn?

1431
01:14:19,329 --> 01:14:21,707
I'm sorry. She was full of friends.

1432
01:14:30,174 --> 01:14:31,383
All this time...

1433
01:14:32,468 --> 01:14:35,012
and neither of you said anything to me.

1434
01:14:38,724 --> 01:14:40,767
And I thought we were friends.

1435
01:14:43,520 --> 01:14:44,396
Oh, fuck.

1436
01:14:44,813 --> 01:14:46,190
You're taking a train home.

1437
01:14:48,859 --> 01:14:51,820
-Please, don't leave. You guys, I'm sorry!
-Let me drive you home.

1438
01:14:51,904 --> 01:14:54,031
Carol, I'm sorry! Gillian, wait!

1439
01:14:54,114 --> 01:14:55,657
-Don't leave!
-Stop.

1440
01:14:56,909 --> 01:14:59,536
That was bad!

1441
01:15:59,429 --> 01:16:01,723
Open the door or I'm gonna start singing!

1442
01:16:02,266 --> 01:16:05,561
Do you need directions home?
I can show you how to Waze.

1443
01:16:06,645 --> 01:16:08,522
I don't want the government tracking me.

1444
01:16:08,939 --> 01:16:11,900
-Would it kill you to answer your phone?
-I've been working.

1445
01:16:12,109 --> 01:16:13,777
-On what?
-My novel.

1446
01:16:14,194 --> 01:16:15,654
I finally got inspired.

1447
01:16:15,737 --> 01:16:18,699
It's about an overbearing mother.
It's called Baking and Entering.

1448
01:16:19,366 --> 01:16:21,201
Daniel, this is important.

1449
01:16:21,535 --> 01:16:23,203
Do you still have the ring?

1450
01:16:26,206 --> 01:16:27,040
What ring?

1451
01:16:27,749 --> 01:16:30,168
The one you were planning on giving Erin.

1452
01:16:31,086 --> 01:16:33,213
Honey, why didn't you say anything?

1453
01:16:33,714 --> 01:16:37,259
Well, you never liked her anyway, Ma.
So, what's the difference?

1454
01:16:37,342 --> 01:16:41,221
Well, what do I know?
I'm just some weird internet stalker.

1455
01:16:42,222 --> 01:16:43,140
And I was wrong.

1456
01:16:43,223 --> 01:16:46,101
I always wondered what it'd be like
to hear you say those words.

1457
01:16:46,184 --> 01:16:48,437
And as it turns out,
you were actually right, so...

1458
01:16:48,520 --> 01:16:49,354
No.

1459
01:16:50,063 --> 01:16:53,066
She's a lovely woman,
and you're a lovely man.

1460
01:16:54,318 --> 01:16:56,278
So, if you have that ring,

1461
01:16:57,279 --> 01:16:59,364
and if she is the love of your life,

1462
01:16:59,948 --> 01:17:02,909
then do something before it is too late.

1463
01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:07,748
Because for all you know, she might be
packing her bags and leaving town...

1464
01:17:08,123 --> 01:17:09,041
or something.

1465
01:17:12,085 --> 01:17:12,919
I love you.

1466
01:17:13,253 --> 01:17:14,421
You're a grown man.

1467
01:17:15,547 --> 01:17:18,759
I  just hope you do what is best
for your life and your future.

1468
01:17:18,842 --> 01:17:21,178
Did you see her somewhere or something?

1469
01:17:21,428 --> 01:17:22,346
Ma, wait.

1470
01:17:23,805 --> 01:17:26,141
Mom! Did you break into her place, too?

1471
01:18:17,192 --> 01:18:18,026
Hello!

1472
01:18:24,950 --> 01:18:27,077
Is there a reason you're following me?

1473
01:18:28,745 --> 01:18:30,664
Paul said you wouldn't listen to us.

1474
01:18:32,165 --> 01:18:34,501
It's okay, honey. It's okay.

1475
01:18:36,253 --> 01:18:37,587
What is it that you want?

1476
01:18:39,756 --> 01:18:40,590
I...

1477
01:18:41,258 --> 01:18:42,092
I don't want...

1478
01:18:42,968 --> 01:18:46,471
anything. I'm not asking for anything.
I'm just...

1479
01:18:47,097 --> 01:18:48,515
saying what I am.

1480
01:18:50,225 --> 01:18:51,393
A grandmother.

1481
01:18:52,477 --> 01:18:54,062
She has grandmothers.

1482
01:18:59,359 --> 01:19:01,778
I brought a few...

1483
01:19:04,614 --> 01:19:05,741
hundred gifts.

1484
01:19:08,452 --> 01:19:10,704
Look, we talked about this
before the birth.

1485
01:19:10,787 --> 01:19:11,955
We adore Paul.

1486
01:19:12,372 --> 01:19:15,208
We do, and we want Ella to know Paul.

1487
01:19:15,459 --> 01:19:18,837
We hope she gets some of his great
qualities. That's why we chose him.

1488
01:19:19,963 --> 01:19:21,214
But he's not the dad.

1489
01:19:21,298 --> 01:19:22,841
He's a sperm donor, okay?

1490
01:19:22,924 --> 01:19:24,926
We all agreed. We signed papers.

1491
01:19:29,055 --> 01:19:29,890
But...

1492
01:19:30,891 --> 01:19:32,225
now that I have her...

1493
01:19:33,685 --> 01:19:35,896
and now that I know what it feels like...

1494
01:19:37,105 --> 01:19:39,399
when she has a baby, if...

1495
01:19:40,400 --> 01:19:41,610
she has a baby...

1496
01:19:42,652 --> 01:19:44,446
if I couldn't see that baby...

1497
01:19:46,990 --> 01:19:49,993
I'd probably chase that baby
all over the city, too.

1498
01:19:54,039 --> 01:19:55,207
It's okay, honey.

1499
01:20:04,299 --> 01:20:06,384
She looks just like Paul did.

1500
01:20:10,680 --> 01:20:12,307
Would you like to hold her?

1501
01:20:14,684 --> 01:20:15,519
Come on.

1502
01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:17,896
-Say hi.
-Hi.

1503
01:20:19,731 --> 01:20:21,316
Hi!

1504
01:20:22,400 --> 01:20:23,360
Hi!

1505
01:20:25,111 --> 01:20:27,280
-Hi.
-That's a good girl.

1506
01:20:27,989 --> 01:20:32,077
I want to be a good grandmother.
A good one. Not a bad one.

1507
01:20:36,623 --> 01:20:39,543
Honey, five weeks is not late.

1508
01:20:39,626 --> 01:20:41,711
Five weeks is abandonment.

1509
01:20:42,212 --> 01:20:44,714
It sounds like she waited
a long time for you.

1510
01:20:45,090 --> 01:20:46,466
All right, Ma. You know what?

1511
01:20:46,550 --> 01:20:49,803
You and Dad have, like,
your perfect story, so, you wouldn't...

1512
01:20:49,886 --> 01:20:51,763
No. There is no perfect story.

1513
01:20:53,056 --> 01:20:54,140
In fact...

1514
01:20:56,393 --> 01:21:00,063
years ago, your father had an infidelity.

1515
01:21:09,447 --> 01:21:11,116
Before I was born or after?

1516
01:21:13,493 --> 01:21:15,370
You were 16.

1517
01:21:19,082 --> 01:21:20,417
How'd you forgive him?

1518
01:21:23,461 --> 01:21:24,379
It wasn't easy.

1519
01:21:25,463 --> 01:21:27,382
I went crazy for a little while.

1520
01:21:27,465 --> 01:21:30,886
I went on this...
fakakta five-week egg diet.

1521
01:21:30,969 --> 01:21:31,887
You remember?

1522
01:21:31,970 --> 01:21:33,638
Yes, I do. You were, like...

1523
01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:35,557
-You wanted chickens or something.
-Yeah.

1524
01:21:35,640 --> 01:21:36,558
A chicken coop?

1525
01:21:38,393 --> 01:21:39,311
But...

1526
01:21:39,394 --> 01:21:40,604
I realized...

1527
01:21:41,521 --> 01:21:43,189
I still wanted your dad.

1528
01:21:45,233 --> 01:21:48,111
And I decided to do the harder thing
and stay.

1529
01:21:51,573 --> 01:21:53,116
But I think what really...

1530
01:21:54,075 --> 01:21:56,536
made it possible for me to forgive him...

1531
01:21:57,454 --> 01:21:58,288
was...

1532
01:21:58,705 --> 01:22:01,082
he never fully forgave himself.

1533
01:22:04,127 --> 01:22:05,629
Mom, I really admire you.

1534
01:22:07,047 --> 01:22:09,633
And I get why you're sharing
this story with me.

1535
01:22:12,552 --> 01:22:14,471
I just don't think I'm built like that.

1536
01:22:18,892 --> 01:22:20,101
This is your life.

1537
01:22:20,769 --> 01:22:24,648
This big, bruised, bloody,
beautiful thing.

1538
01:22:24,731 --> 01:22:27,692
This is your life.
I'm not going to tell you what to do.

1539
01:22:27,776 --> 01:22:28,693
Since when?

1540
01:22:29,527 --> 01:22:30,737
Since today.

1541
01:22:31,404 --> 01:22:32,781
-Okay.
-Daniel, hey.

1542
01:22:33,573 --> 01:22:37,285
You have been under the water
for a long time.

1543
01:22:39,329 --> 01:22:40,580
But when you come up,

1544
01:22:41,873 --> 01:22:44,125
you need to decide what life you want.

1545
01:22:48,713 --> 01:22:49,631
You got this.

1546
01:22:51,007 --> 01:22:51,841
I love you.

1547
01:22:54,344 --> 01:22:55,178
Ma.

1548
01:22:56,638 --> 01:22:58,598
I think I'm locked out of my apartment.

1549
01:22:58,682 --> 01:23:00,308
Use the window. That's what I do.

1550
01:23:01,017 --> 01:23:01,977
I'm out!

1551
01:24:21,848 --> 01:24:22,766
Hi.

1552
01:24:23,141 --> 01:24:24,601
You're back.

1553
01:24:28,438 --> 01:24:30,356
What's the matter, sweetheart?

1554
01:24:30,940 --> 01:24:32,150
You and Paul have a fight?

1555
01:24:33,276 --> 01:24:34,110
Several.

1556
01:24:34,819 --> 01:24:35,779
And Gillian.

1557
01:24:36,071 --> 01:24:36,905
And Carol.

1558
01:24:37,781 --> 01:24:39,866
We didn't even drive back together.

1559
01:24:40,533 --> 01:24:41,576
Everyone is...

1560
01:24:42,619 --> 01:24:43,953
sick of me,

1561
01:24:44,037 --> 01:24:45,705
and... so am I.

1562
01:24:48,708 --> 01:24:50,794
Frank, why did you marry me?

1563
01:24:51,002 --> 01:24:51,836
What?

1564
01:24:52,212 --> 01:24:55,673
Well, I think what everybody wonders
is why you married me.

1565
01:24:56,174 --> 01:24:57,509
No, really.

1566
01:24:58,426 --> 01:24:59,385
Why?

1567
01:25:00,845 --> 01:25:01,930
You're kind.

1568
01:25:02,806 --> 01:25:05,308
And you're smart. You're funny as hell.

1569
01:25:05,642 --> 01:25:07,519
You have a lot of love to give.

1570
01:25:07,602 --> 01:25:10,146
-I do, right?
-Yes.

1571
01:25:10,522 --> 01:25:11,940
And you're opinionated,

1572
01:25:12,857 --> 01:25:13,942
and passionate.

1573
01:25:15,151 --> 01:25:18,154
Sometimes you have sharp edges,
and I like that.

1574
01:25:19,155 --> 01:25:20,657
You tell it like it is.

1575
01:25:22,033 --> 01:25:22,867
My...

1576
01:25:23,576 --> 01:25:24,452
looks?

1577
01:25:24,828 --> 01:25:27,664
Oh, you think I married you
for your personality?

1578
01:25:29,916 --> 01:25:31,417
You come in a very...

1579
01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:33,586
beautiful package.

1580
01:25:35,046 --> 01:25:37,715
But that's not all there is
to Helen Halston.

1581
01:25:39,843 --> 01:25:42,554
I am so lucky.

1582
01:25:44,139 --> 01:25:45,014
I'm so...

1583
01:25:50,103 --> 01:25:52,063
-Oh, really?
-Yes. We're doing it.

1584
01:26:02,824 --> 01:26:03,825
Thanks for coming.

1585
01:26:04,409 --> 01:26:05,952
Your texts wore me down.

1586
01:26:07,954 --> 01:26:09,164
Did you bring a pen?

1587
01:26:19,465 --> 01:26:22,510
-Hey, Mrs. Walker. More flowers.
-It must be some mistake.

1588
01:26:23,052 --> 01:26:24,679
I didn't order any flowers.

1589
01:26:25,471 --> 01:26:26,806
There's a note with them.

1590
01:26:28,099 --> 01:26:31,561
Her favorite flower is... an Iris.

1591
01:26:31,811 --> 01:26:33,271
Well, thank you, Shawn.

1592
01:26:33,354 --> 01:26:35,190
And I know that because she told me

1593
01:26:35,273 --> 01:26:37,525
when she asked me for ten things
I know about her.

1594
01:26:38,026 --> 01:26:41,154
-Then you can't use it.
-What? Yes, I can. It's a freebie.

1595
01:26:41,237 --> 01:26:43,865
If you can't think of ten things
you know about your mother

1596
01:26:43,948 --> 01:26:46,534
without one of them being something
she flat-out told you,

1597
01:26:46,618 --> 01:26:47,785
then you're a shitty son.

1598
01:26:47,869 --> 01:26:49,370
I am not a shitty son.

1599
01:26:49,662 --> 01:26:52,165
Then think about why you love her
and write it down.

1600
01:26:54,834 --> 01:26:58,046
I know she loved my father,
and he wasn't that lovable.

1601
01:26:58,463 --> 01:27:00,131
He was always working.

1602
01:27:00,673 --> 01:27:03,218
Even when we played, it was work.

1603
01:27:04,677 --> 01:27:06,888
My mom was the one who taught me
how to have fun.

1604
01:27:08,181 --> 01:27:09,974
When I was a kid, she used to...

1605
01:27:10,308 --> 01:27:12,685
read me these bedtime stories, and...

1606
01:27:13,269 --> 01:27:15,521
she'd pretend there was one more page.

1607
01:27:18,816 --> 01:27:21,069
And we'd make up a new ending.

1608
01:27:26,074 --> 01:27:27,867
-Write that down.
-Oh, yeah.

1609
01:27:29,327 --> 01:27:31,454
She did a lot of art when I was a kid.

1610
01:27:31,829 --> 01:27:33,206
Pen and ink note cards,

1611
01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:35,625
oil paintings from photographs.

1612
01:27:36,709 --> 01:27:38,378
This one time, she did this...

1613
01:27:40,338 --> 01:27:41,714
great mural on my wall.

1614
01:27:45,843 --> 01:27:46,678
One:

1615
01:27:47,053 --> 01:27:48,554
You loved my father.

1616
01:27:51,099 --> 01:27:51,933
Two:

1617
01:27:52,725 --> 01:27:54,519
You taught me how to have fun.

1618
01:27:56,479 --> 01:27:57,313
Three:

1619
01:27:57,939 --> 01:27:59,607
You could have been an artist.

1620
01:28:00,233 --> 01:28:01,109
Number four:

1621
01:28:01,609 --> 01:28:03,069
She thinks you're a good person.

1622
01:28:04,570 --> 01:28:05,530
No, she doesn't.

1623
01:28:05,613 --> 01:28:06,489
She told me.

1624
01:28:07,532 --> 01:28:10,034
She told you
that she thinks that I'm good?

1625
01:28:10,952 --> 01:28:13,705
You could write she's the only person
who thinks you're good.

1626
01:28:15,999 --> 01:28:17,709
I never knew that she thought that.

1627
01:28:18,459 --> 01:28:19,335
Four:

1628
01:28:19,419 --> 01:28:22,672
You're the only person in the world
who thinks I'm good.

1629
01:28:23,965 --> 01:28:24,799
Five:

1630
01:28:25,550 --> 01:28:28,177
You made me feel loved and safe.

1631
01:28:28,928 --> 01:28:29,762
Six:

1632
01:28:30,346 --> 01:28:34,058
You cut up fruit for my snacks
even when I begged for junk food.

1633
01:28:35,310 --> 01:28:36,144
Seven:

1634
01:28:36,811 --> 01:28:39,731
You still call me, even when I ignore you.

1635
01:28:40,565 --> 01:28:41,399
Thank you.

1636
01:28:42,650 --> 01:28:43,484
Eight:

1637
01:28:43,860 --> 01:28:46,279
The only times I've ever seen you angry

1638
01:28:46,362 --> 01:28:49,115
are times you deserved to be angrier.

1639
01:28:50,992 --> 01:28:51,826
Nine:

1640
01:28:52,618 --> 01:28:53,870
You love to dance.

1641
01:28:55,913 --> 01:28:56,748
Ten:

1642
01:28:57,457 --> 01:28:58,499
You're my mother.

1643
01:29:00,251 --> 01:29:01,085
Eleven:

1644
01:29:01,961 --> 01:29:04,589
You taught me there is room
in every story...

1645
01:29:05,590 --> 01:29:06,799
for a better ending.

1646
01:29:23,941 --> 01:29:24,776
Erin!

1647
01:29:27,862 --> 01:29:28,696
Erin!

1648
01:29:30,198 --> 01:29:31,032
Erin!

1649
01:29:33,242 --> 01:29:34,118
Erin!

1650
01:29:36,120 --> 01:29:37,080
Erin!

1651
01:29:39,832 --> 01:29:40,792
Erin!

1652
01:29:45,463 --> 01:29:46,631
Erin, wait up!

1653
01:29:50,927 --> 01:29:51,761
I really...

1654
01:29:51,844 --> 01:29:52,678
I need to...

1655
01:29:53,012 --> 01:29:54,347
get to the gym more often.

1656
01:29:54,430 --> 01:29:55,765
What are you doing?

1657
01:29:56,015 --> 01:29:57,141
What are you doing?

1658
01:29:57,225 --> 01:29:58,434
I'm moving to L.A.

1659
01:29:58,893 --> 01:29:59,727
Well...

1660
01:30:01,479 --> 01:30:03,564
-Can I talk to you first?
-About what?

1661
01:30:03,648 --> 01:30:04,649
About us.

1662
01:30:04,732 --> 01:30:05,608
Oh, my...

1663
01:30:05,691 --> 01:30:08,361
It's too late, Daniel.
My whole life is in this truck.

1664
01:30:09,529 --> 01:30:11,739
That's funny.
I was just thinking the same thing.

1665
01:30:13,991 --> 01:30:15,159
You're not gonna stop me.

1666
01:30:16,744 --> 01:30:17,578
Okay.

1667
01:30:18,246 --> 01:30:19,080
Okay.

1668
01:30:21,541 --> 01:30:23,084
Can we talk on the way?

1669
01:30:23,626 --> 01:30:25,420
-You don't have anything to do?
-Please.

1670
01:30:25,795 --> 01:30:28,256
-You're gonna drive me to L.A.?
-I'm coming to L.A.

1671
01:30:28,631 --> 01:30:29,841
I'm coming with you.

1672
01:30:30,466 --> 01:30:31,509
Coming to L.A.

1673
01:30:32,510 --> 01:30:33,344
I'm sorry.

1674
01:30:33,428 --> 01:30:34,303
Sorry!

1675
01:30:34,387 --> 01:30:35,263
I'm sorry.

1676
01:30:37,640 --> 01:30:38,766
I'm sorry, too.

1677
01:30:41,269 --> 01:30:44,480
-Do you know how to drive one of these?
-I have no idea what I'm doing.

1678
01:31:01,998 --> 01:31:03,249
Hey, where you going?

1679
01:31:04,959 --> 01:31:06,878
I swear she looks like both of you.

1680
01:31:06,961 --> 01:31:09,213
To be honest,
we think she looks like your mother.

1681
01:31:09,714 --> 01:31:10,548
Acts like it.

1682
01:31:11,549 --> 01:31:13,926
-Oh, my goodness!
-Speaking of the devil.

1683
01:31:14,010 --> 01:31:16,679
-Or angel, depending who you ask.
-Who's that?

1684
01:31:16,888 --> 01:31:18,973
Grandma loves Ella!

1685
01:31:19,056 --> 01:31:20,141
Yay, look who it is!

1686
01:31:20,224 --> 01:31:21,851
-Grandma!
-There's Grandma!

1687
01:31:21,934 --> 01:31:23,227
-Say hi to Grandma.
-And you,

1688
01:31:23,311 --> 01:31:25,688
-and you, and you.
-Hi.

1689
01:31:26,147 --> 01:31:27,148
-And you.
-Hi.

1690
01:31:28,858 --> 01:31:31,819
This is kind of a complicated garment,
isn't it?

1691
01:31:31,903 --> 01:31:35,239
My mother's at her son's semi-Jewish
wedding, and she's still complaining.

1692
01:31:35,323 --> 01:31:37,825
You're not supposed to see the bride
before the wedding.

1693
01:31:37,909 --> 01:31:41,162
I know, but we broke a few rules already.
I think we can break one more.

1694
01:31:41,746 --> 01:31:43,873
Well, he's got a point. We can show him.

1695
01:31:53,090 --> 01:31:54,091
Thanks, Ma.

1696
01:31:55,301 --> 01:31:56,219
For everything.

1697
01:32:04,143 --> 01:32:05,478
No one's gonna notice.

1698
01:32:07,271 --> 01:32:09,398
There's just one little thing, though.

1699
01:32:10,525 --> 01:32:12,109
It's too late for a thing.

1700
01:32:12,193 --> 01:32:15,446
I know,
but this is really an important thing.

1701
01:32:16,072 --> 01:32:18,115
I think we should rehearse the kiss again.

1702
01:32:19,909 --> 01:32:21,494
Hi!

1703
01:32:32,964 --> 01:32:36,092
I'm still so angry,
I can barely stand to look at you.

1704
01:32:36,467 --> 01:32:38,386
I know. Thank you for the invitation.

1705
01:32:38,469 --> 01:32:40,680
I invited Frank. You're his plus one.

1706
01:32:41,180 --> 01:32:43,558
-Did you get my messages?
-Yeah, about 20 of them.

1707
01:32:43,641 --> 01:32:46,602
-Did you get my texts?
-"Stop calling me."

1708
01:32:47,562 --> 01:32:48,396
You know...

1709
01:32:49,355 --> 01:32:52,483
I am kind of responsible
for this whole wedding.

1710
01:32:52,567 --> 01:32:54,944
I mean, if we hadn't gone to New York...

1711
01:32:55,278 --> 01:32:58,030
So, now we're considering that trip
a success?

1712
01:32:58,114 --> 01:33:00,157
Well, look at where we are, and...

1713
01:33:00,241 --> 01:33:02,493
And Carol's in Italy.

1714
01:33:02,868 --> 01:33:04,620
She didn't even RSVP.

1715
01:33:04,704 --> 01:33:07,623
She's probably too busy painting,
eating pizza,

1716
01:33:08,165 --> 01:33:10,251
taking Italian lovers...

1717
01:33:10,334 --> 01:33:13,296
I'm sure she's miserable
since she sold that house.

1718
01:33:18,509 --> 01:33:20,177
Don't start the wedding without us!

1719
01:33:21,721 --> 01:33:22,888
I knew she would come!

1720
01:33:22,972 --> 01:33:25,558
I missed her so much more
than I missed you.

1721
01:33:25,641 --> 01:33:27,018
Same here. Only double.

1722
01:33:27,727 --> 01:33:29,395
Oh, it's just his date.

1723
01:33:30,062 --> 01:33:33,024
She's too old to be his date.
She's, like, his age.

1724
01:33:37,361 --> 01:33:39,196
Oh, my God!

1725
01:33:39,572 --> 01:33:41,574
Oh, my God!

1726
01:33:42,992 --> 01:33:43,826
Yes!

1727
01:33:48,748 --> 01:33:50,291
I heard there was cake.

1728
01:33:50,374 --> 01:33:52,251
You don't call, you don't write.

1729
01:33:52,335 --> 01:33:54,712
Oh, we missed you so much!

1730
01:33:55,504 --> 01:33:58,049
-You look so glamorous.
-So do you.

1731
01:33:59,717 --> 01:34:02,428
By the way, I brought bourbon.

1732
01:34:03,095 --> 01:34:05,139
Oh, no! Not again!

1733
01:34:05,222 --> 01:34:07,183
Of course you did.

1734
01:36:22,777 --> 01:36:23,611
Yeah.

1735
01:36:38,083 --> 01:36:39,043
You're driving.

1736
01:37:25,256 --> 01:37:26,090
All right.

1737
01:37:44,525 --> 01:37:45,651
Get out of the car!

1738
01:37:47,570 --> 01:37:48,529
Let me out!

1739
01:38:35,910 --> 01:38:37,244
Oh, I'm out of breath.