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- Here at [Company Name] we care so little about you that bothering to collect your user data doesn't even cross our minds.
- Your data's safety is guaranteed because, frankly, we simply don't have any of it to mishandle.
- Rest assured, we're diligently committed to regularly (every blue supermoon) erasing all of the nothingness we don't have.
- And if, by some miracle, you decide to revoke consent for the absence of data we never collected, you may do so via carrier pigeon trained in Morse code or interpretive dance (we recommend using very simple messages).
- We'll be sure to promptly take no further action!
- For any further inquiries regarding the complete lack of your data, please contact our non-existent customer support by shouting into a black hole (success rate may vary).
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