Hol Horse was making a list of things he disliked, and “Dio not knowing when to leave” was right at the top. He’d come by the room looking for N’Doul, and when Hol Horse had said that he was in class, had purred, “Oh, I’ll just wait for him, then,” in that posh accent that people apparently found alluring. And so here he was, stretched on on Hol Horse’s bed, flipping through Hol Horse’s copy of <i>Lonesome Dove</i> and reading passages out loud in a tone of voice that Hol Horse knew but couldn’t prove was sarcastic. N’Doul’s lecture was long over by now and it was pretty obvious he’d found something else to do away from the room and still <i>Dio wouldn’t leave</i>.

And speaking of N’Doul, there was another thing he hated: the way Dio had stolen his roommate’s brain. N’Doul was a lot of fun on his own - smart, easygoing, game for whatever stupid scheme Hol Horse had cooked up. But when Dio came into the picture, he became a fragile, weepy mess, too wrapped up in love to consider the parts of the world that didn’t contain the haughty blond Englishman. It was definitely love, Hol Horse knew, he’d been in love himself too many times to count; N’Doul was in love with Dio and Dio, in turn, occasionally slept with N’Doul when he wasn’t sleeping with basically half of the rest of the campus, and even some of the teachers.

“‘Are you fixing to go to church, or what?’ Dan Suggs asked,” Dio recited. “‘Fixing’, isn’t that quaint? American literature really is amusing.”

“Yup,” said Hol Horse, trying to radiate <i>GO HOME DIO</i> though every pore in his body. He’d restarted this one calculus problem three times over the past hour, there was another one: calculus problems. It all made sense in class, and then when he started in on the homework, he was lost. He could have sworn that the professor was giving them impossible assignments just to mess with their heads. To start with, that derivative couldn’t be right, because if it was, the whole-

No, he knew what the #1 Hall Of Famer Top Of The List thing he disliked was, and it was exemplified by the moans and yells that had just started reverberating through the dorm: Kujo and Kakyoin’s sex life. So they’d gotten together, good for them, did they have to let everyone else know about it? Bad enough that Hol Horse was single, now he had these two reminding him every day of what he was missing out on, at top volume. Just… pounding each other. Coming loud and hard. Getting down to some seriously kinky shit, as demonstrated by the sound of six foot five of Eurasian beefcake hitting the floor at full force.