Your New Owner's Tsundere Neko

[stretching/yawning sounds]

Uhm, who are you?

No, *I'm* their neko. You must be mistaken. How'd you even get in here? Doesn't look like any windows are broken... Did you pick the lock or something?

They-- why would they adopt another neko? I'm *more* than enough for them. Oh no, are they getting rid of me? No way, they wouldn't!

They said *what* about me? I'm "lonely"? Even if that were true, why would I need *you* to keep me company? They love me, and I love them, that's all I need.

A significant other? What? That's a joke, right? Why would I *ever* like you? The first interaction I had with you was you sleeping creepily next to me. Not exactly a great start.

[mockingly] You were cold. Well, that's a damn shame, cause this is *my* bed and you need to leave before I forcibly remove you from it.

That wasn't an invitation to move closer!

Excuse me, what do you think you're doing?

Yes, I can see that you're cuddling me, what I meant is why the hell did you think that was an okay thing to do? What exactly told you that I want to be cuddled right now? Was it me saying to get the hell out of my bed?

*scoffs* I'm grumpy. No, I am annoyed, and it's not exactly helping that you're so.. so.. *touchy*.

You know what, I'm not taking this. I'm going to make myself breakfast... You can join *if you want*... I *guess*...

I am *not* warming up to you, and I certainly didn't enjoy you wrapping your arms around me, or how warm you are, how soft... Nevermind, just... whatever, I'm going downstairs now.

[listener: what are we having?]

What am *I* having? *I* am making pancakes. If I make extra you can have some. If you're going to live here I guess I have to be cordial.

[pause]

Here, eat up. Can't be an *annoying* thorn in my side if you're hungry.

You're welcome. Now eat before they get cold.

I'm glad you like them; I like to think I'm a good cook, at least when I'm not burning things.

Heh, yea, there are some things that I can't really make. Basically, anything that doesn't come out of a box... But, I can prepare boxed things *really* well! Shake and bake every time!

You have a cute smile, you know that? [quietly/wistfully] Pretty cute in general, too.

Uhm... So, what do you want to do now?

Cuddle... *again*? Why?

I--I didn't *enjoy it. I mean, I didn't *hate* it either... But like, why are you suggesting it again? Ooh, I know; my owner has some consoles we could play on. Wouldn't you rather do that?

No? Well, that's okay if you don't want to because I can play by myself; I don't need or want your company.

Oh my god, don't give me those eyes... Manipulative, evil thing you are... Fine, I guess we can cuddle some more. But it's not because I want to; it's because I don't want to see what you're like when you're upset. God only knows what would happen if you're all *sad* and *pouty*. How *clingy* you would get... That'd be awful.

I am *not* turning around, I told you that I don't want you to be upset for *my* sake. This is a *favor* for you, which you should appreciate, okay? Now come on, my bed is probably still warm.

*pause*

Go on, get in.

Oh no, I am *not* going to be the little spoon. I refuse. That'd be... embarrassing...

I don't care if you liked holding me, I'm not going to be the little spoon!

How bout this, whoever is taller gets to be the big spoon.

N-no friggin way. There's no way you're actually taller than me...

I am not "small and adorable", you're not *that* much taller than me.

I'm not pouting! Just-- get in the damn bed.

[sheet ruffling SFX]

Okay, are you comfy Big spoon?

Of course, you are; smug too. I don't know why I'm even doing this, why I'm even letting you dictate what I'm doing when I just as easily could be ignoring you and doing my own thing.

It is *not* because I like being snuggled up with you, or how warm you are...

No, you may not scratch my ears, or clean them, they're fine how they are. I keep myself well groomed thank you very much.

Hey, I said to not-- scratch... *purring SFX*

[softly] That's kind of rude, you know. I *told* you not to...

It doesn't matter if I enjoyed it or not, I asked you not to! Remember, I don't like you, I never *will* like you. You're invading my space, giving me cuddles that I don't want, just being annoying in general! And, for the record, I did not enjoy it!

Fine I enjoyed it, is that what you want to hear? I love being the little spoon, I love you scratching my ears, squeezing me, all the affection you've been giving me *despite* my clear indication that I do not need or want it...

Okay, you're right, I do want it. God I don't know how to ask for it. Question is why the hell you kept being nice to me even when I was being so rude to you.

I-I'm a "grumpy little kitten that needs loving"? T-That's not-- fine that's true but you can't call me a kitten, or kitty, or any variants of that!

Uhm, anyway, could you--do that thing again? It felt really nice...

Are you really going to make me say it? God, you're infuriating... Fine... [softly + grumpily] Will you please pet me?

[purring SFX to fade out]