Jade Fic

	Cosplay Lass idly flipped through A Game of Thrones, grinning as Ned Stark stumbled into yet another trap laid by his betters.  It was just so damned satisfying to watch ‘heroes’ get what they deserved.  She hated to be digging through such popular tripe, but her damned guard was getting worse and worse about getting her requested manga to her, so she thought she might as well choose a medium that would last longer.  Well, that and she mentally replaced certain names in the book with those of her captors, but that was a bit more pitiful than she’d like to admit.
	The silence of her cell was shattered by a pounding on her door, and her body moved almost on its own violation into a kowtow upon the floor.  Robomaid had trained her well over these past few weeks, and it wasn’t with a small amount of shame that she realized her heart wasn’t just pounding in dread, but in a bit of excitement as well.  She went as still as she could, barely daring to breathe as the hinges on the door squeaked, her mind already racing with what her tormenter and lover had planned for today.
	The wait dragged on though, a more exquisite torture than any Sarah had been subjected to before as fear and arousal ripped through her body.  She was almost shaking by the time the awkward cough brought her thoughts to a screeching halt and her eyes up to her visitor.  Jade Revolver waved at her happily, and said, “Nice to see you too Sarah, but you don’t have to be so formal!  I just wanted to ask you a few questions.”
	The warm flush of arousal was washed away in a burning wave of shame in an instant, and the villain shot up from her crouch and snapped, “Damn it Jade, fucking warn me before you just come waltzing in here!  What do you want anyway, or are you just going to bother me as usual?”
	Cosplay Lass almost felt sorry for the little smut peddler, but the girl pepped up almost immediately and pulled out a notepad.  “I’m here to interview you about the rumors going around about you and Robomaid,” she said brightly, and Sarah felt her blush returning full force as the girl chattered on like she was talking about a pair of shoes she had bought, “There’s all kinds of talk about secret trysts and her spending hours in this cell with you.  I mean, you wouldn’t believe the doujinshi’s and fanart that’s been going around online!”
	That…that wasn’t so bad, Sarah thought dazedly.  Hell, she actually felt kind of complimented.  Her fanbase was usually pretty small, especially compared to that idiot Rena, but people were actually making manga of -her-.  Her inner fujoshi very nearly kicked in, but she reined herself in and focused on the irritating girl in front of her.  She wouldn’t fall for such an obvious trick.  “Trying to get me to talk by stroking my ego,” she sneered, “Smart, but you aren’t getting it out of me that easily.”
	The fierce scowl that flitted across the teenager’s face was deeply satisfying, but Jade pulled herself together quickly and almost seemed to exude moe as she pouted with all of her might.  Only her extensive exposure to all forms of Japanese media and the cute girls that implied kept Sarah from being swept away by the attack, and she barely managed to ignore Jade and start flipping through her book again in the hopes that she would get the message and just leave.
	The sudden thud from outside of her cell dragged her eyes from the book though, and Sarah very nearly cringed at the -devious- expression on Jade’s face.  “Gets them every time,” she chirped, before planting herself on the bed next to Sarah, “Give a guard cookies that you say that you baked yourself, and he’ll eat it up in a heartbeat without checking for poison.”
	Sarah looked at her aghast, though not without a smidgen of respect.  For all of her faults, maybe this girl had more going on than she presented on the surface.  “You didn’t kill him, did you,” she asked with an amused smile, “I just finally got him trained on getting me books when I ask for them, it’d be a shame to start all over again with a new guy.”
	Jade matched her smile with a cheeky grin and shook her head.  “Nah, just put a bunch of horse tranquilizers into it.  He’ll be out for a bit.”
	Just as quickly as the grin appeared though, her face suddenly turned serious, which put Sarah right back on edge.  “Now for why I’m really here.  I had to chat you up while I waited for the drugs to work, but now that there aren’t any prying ears…”
	She leaned in closer, her enormous eyebrows pulled together in concentration, and Sarah was surprised to feel herself leaning in as well.  This was way better than reading western trash anyway, and she was actually curious about what the squirt was trying to pull.  Seemingly satisfied that she had the older villain’s full and undivided attention, she whispered, “You’re the best at disguising yourself as other people, Cosplay Lass.  You catch all the little details, and I need that for a plot of mine.  I need advice on how to look exactly like Rena.”
	Sarah felt a villainous chuckle build in her throat, a glorious sensation that she had been entirely too absent in her life as of late.  This was –just- what she needed to get over being trapped in this cell.  “Okay squirt, you’ve caught my interest.  You don’t spread any more rumors about me and Robomaid and I’ll give you what you want.”
	Jade’s usual enthusiastic smile burst into life, and she began to scribble down notes as Sarah slipped into her element.  “Well, you’re decently flat at least, so that’ll work in your favor, but the freckle placement is the most critical part…”

	Jade tried her hardest to keep still as she waited for her plan to finally come to fruition.  It had taken pages and pages of notes on Rena’s tics and detailed physical features, hours spent on applying sunless tanner to mimic the hero’s freckles, and a trip to the local Goodwill for clothing, but it had all come together in the end.  She was just thankful that her favorite hero had terrible taste in clothes, it meant that she didn’t have to spend her money for commissions on anything too fancy, just a pair of unflattering jeans, a cosplay wig that needed a little bit of shaping, and the official Rena hoodie that she had purchased ages ago.  Well, that and she had splurged on a pair of platform sneakers to get her up to the proper height, but she fully intended to use those after this mission to make up for what her genetics had denied her.
	She had to grip the edge of the bench she was sitting on to keep from wriggling in excitement as the target of this operation finally turned the corner and began to walk towards her.  It had taken a lot of favors to send a message that she had written from Rena’s cell phone, even being in debt to that greasy neckbeard Haxor, but it seemed like her gambit had paid off in full.  She dragged a deep breath into her lungs, then let it out shakily.  Time to perform.
	Quickly running through Sarah’s directions and advice on Rena’s posture, she slouched her shoulders, loosened her body, and settled her face into the expression of mild confusion that she had spent hours perfecting.  “Hey Rena, what’s up,” Bridgette asked with a flirty smile before depositing herself on the bench next to the fujoshi.
	Jade very nearly lost it right then and there.  That loaded look, the loving expression, and that just -slightly- lewd smile, she just wanted to squeal and release her inner fangirl.   It was only by promising herself greater rewards if she just waited that allowed her to keep her reaction to a massive blush.  She carefully modulated her voice so that it was relaxed and just a few steps above monotone before replying, “N-not bad, Bridgette, glad that we finally both got a day off.  It’s been a while since we went on a date.”
	Bridgette gave an irritated huff.  “Yeah, I know, all this work to prep for NegaRena is really eating up all of our time,” a brilliant smile flitted across her face, “The last one was pretty fun, but I’m pretty sure that dance club’s insurance went up a few thousand dollars a month after that little stunt you pulled.  You and alcohol are a -terrible- combo.”
	That…oh god, the sheer number of fanfic storylines that line evoked, Jade thought dazedly.  This mission was already giving her more than she ever could have expected.  With all of these details, she would blow the other Rena/Bridgette fics out of the water, and teasing her fellow nerds with this kind of info would keep the pageviews rolling in.  She couldn’t rest on her laurels though, it was now time for the next part of her plan.  “So, I was thinking of going to this new shop that opened up in the mall if you’d want to do that before we ate,” she said, resisting the urge to lick her lips nervously with all of her might.
	“Hm?  Sure, what does it sell,” Bridgette asked curiously, leaning closer as a blush continued to spread across Jade’s cheeks.
	“…Lingerie,” the fujoshi whispered.
	The villain stared at her in utter surprise, blinking a few times, before snickering.  “Well that’s new for you.  Hell yeah, let’s do it!”
	Jade was very nearly sweating bullets just thinking about how easily she could have blown her cover with that request, but Bridgette seemingly took it in stride.  If anything, she was quite excited, lifting off the bench and stretching as Jade stood, before heading off at a brisk walk.  The fangirl did her best to keep up, but her mind was reeling with the sight of Bridgette’s abs when she stretched and the little sway to the villain’s hips as she walked.  Her admiration was interrupted as her date suddenly turned around, and she couldn’t help but squeak in surprise as her date grabbed her hand.  “Come on, hurry up, I can’t wait to see you in something lacy and lewd as hell,” she said with a smile, though she looked at Jade bemusedly as the blush returned with a vengeance to her cheeks, “Really Rena, this again?  After all the stuff we’ve done, you are still embarrassed about holding hands in public?  You act like we haven’t jumped each other’s bones half a million times or so.”
	Her mind very nearly melted at the sheer, overwhelming joy she felt.  Finding out juicy details on her favorite couple’s love life AND holding hands with one of her idols?  Villainy truly did pay!  She did her best to flirt with her companion, asking her what kind of stuff she wanted to buy and what she wanted to ‘do’ afterwards.
	After what seemed like an eternity listening to Bridgette’s lewd ideas, the shop came into view.  It at least had the pretense of classiness thankfully, the mannequins in the window modeling some of the more tasteful and covering pieces, because Jade was pretty sure her overheated brain couldn’t handle much more.  She caught Bridgette glancing at her out of the corner of her eye, and turned with a nervous smile.  The villain grinned broadly before giving her a few pokes.  “Well don’t bail on me now, you were the one that wanted to come here first.”
	Not trusting her voice, Jade nodded and stiffly marched into the shop, the warm chuckle from her companion not making this any easier.  The sight that greeted her very nearly stopped her in her tracks:  rows upon rows of lace, satin, and silk in every configuration from chaste bloomers to the most skanky see through thongs the mind could conjure.  She shot upright as she felt a warm pair of arms wrap around her and a whisper tickle her ear, “I’d kill to see you in that black and white set with the garter belt.”
	Her eyes immediately found the preposterously ruffly piece that Bridgette was talking about, and she had to fight back the hysteric laughter that was bubbling in her throat.  Oh god, it was true, Bridgette really -did- love maids!  The laughter died quickly before it could ever escape as she realized a massive flaw in her plans.  The villain seeing her body without the shapeless hoodie would completely ruin her cover.  Her eyes desperately roved over the shop looking for salvation, before a flash of teal caught her eye.  “O-only if you wear that first,” she blurted out, trying not to think about how nice it was to have Bridgette pressed up against her.
	The brunette glanced at the boyshorts with the ivy patterned bra before purring into the hollow of her throat, “You’re terrible to me, woman.  All right, you’ve got a deal and I am definitely holding you to it.”
	She slipped around Jade and snagged the set before sauntering into a dressing room.  The fangirl took a gasp as her body remembered to breathe, and she staggered into a seat.  She was in WAY too deep, she thought with a panicked giggle.  This had sounded like a great plan on paper, but there was no way she could keep up this façade for long, especially with Bridgette being so…flirty.  Deciding that bailing was her only option, she was about to text her dad to come pick her up (and hopefully cause a distraction) when the dressing door swung open.
	All thoughts of escape immediately fled.  Sweet holy Maria-sama, Jade thought dazedly as Bridgette leaned against the doorway with a dirty little smirk.  “So, what do you think Rena,” she said with almost smug confidence, giving a twirl to give Jade a proper view of the way the boyshorts clung to her sinfully well.
	Jade memorized the villain’s expression for…future use, before nodding in awe.  “And now it’s your turn,” Bridgette said with a laugh, dragging her out of the seat and pushing her towards the room she had just vacated.
	Too shocked to put up much resistance, Jade staggered into the dressing room as Bridgette began to playfully tug her sweater off.  And this was it, she thought, fear seemingly locking her body in place, she was definitely going to be found out.  She closed her eyes, bracing herself for the no doubt messy end that her deception deserved.  After a few seconds of waiting though, she cracked one eye open to see what was holding up her execution.  Her companion was staring at her with a playful smile, seemingly perfectly satisfied with Jade’s reaction.  “Too embarrassed?  That’s fine, we can just get something and try it on when we get back home.  I’m going to make sure you pay for flaking out on our deal though,” she said with a laugh.
	It was that moment that Jade knew her final mission.  Actually going to Bridgette’s apartment and seeing how she seduces Rena?  That was worth any cost, though she could only hope that she could get the information online before she died.  The walk back was quiet, Bridgette seemingly content to let ‘Rena’ stew and panic, while Jade mentally sang her death song.  She braced herself for the worst when they came up the stairs to the villain’s apartment, but not even her worst nightmares could brace her for the horror that greeted her.
	Rena was sitting on the ground in front of the TV, playing Mario Kart like nothing was out of the ordinary.  Bridgette wandered over and settled next to her girlfriend with a murmured ‘hey’ before grabbing a controller and joining in the next game.  Jade stood frozen to the spot, mind trying to process what she was seeing, but panic sent her thoughts scattering to the breeze.
	As they played, Rena asked her how her day went.  Bridgette shrugged, before replying, “Not much.  Wandered around a bit.  Oh yeah, I also found Jade.  She tried to disguise herself as you and go on a date with me, but she got the voice a bit wrong and I had it figured out after about half an hour.  I had to tease her a bit after that to punish her, but yeah.”
	“Oh, really,” was all the hero said, seemingly absorbed in unleashing a truly vicious stream of items at all the other cars on the track.
	The minutes passed with all of the speed of a wait in the doctor’s office for the diagnosis, until Rena finally defeated Bridgette handily.  She turned to Jade, seemingly noticing her for the first time, then simply pointed at the Sad Box in the corner.  Jade didn’t even try to resist, despondently shuffling towards her well deserved punishment.

	Bridgette stretched contentedly as they wrapped up another game before turning to Rena.  “Hey, I’m pretty hungry since I skipped out on lunch.  Want me to cook something?”
	Rena immediately perked up, the prospect of a homecooked lunch infinitely better than wasting time on another round of Smash Brothers.  She was just about to wander to the kitchen to see if she could help out, when hot panic suddenly grabbed her stomach tight.  Her girlfriend caught her expression and transformed immediately, growling, “What’s wrong.”
	The redhead rushed to the Sad Box, saying, “I ordered Robomaid to stay in there since she must have had that ‘eat all humans’ switch activated again and I was waiting for Sparkle to fix her!  Jade…”
	Bridgette had her Phoenix Fire already prepared by the time they reached the box and looked in, but the flames slowly guttered out as both women tried to keep from laughing.  Robomaid was smashed in a corner, trying her hardest to stay far away from the fangirl she was sharing the box with.  She looked up desperately and begged, “Mistress please, allow me to get out of the Box!  This girl is simply too lewd!”
	Jade, eyes and smile wide in excitement, said, “But you still haven’t answered my questions yet!  I need my fics to be accurate, and I can’t do that if I don’t know what kind of toys you used on Cosplay Lass!”