Carlos is Anon (Writeslut)

Oct 12th, 2014
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  1. >Get a letter from Rarity
  2. >She wants you to come over to try on a human suit she was working on
  3. >Pretty cool, you thought
  4. >Come over to the Carousel Boutique
  5. >"Hello, Carlos! I'm delighted to have you over."
  6. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
  7. >She hands you (hoofs you?) a tuxedo. It's that notable shade of blue that you wore on your jacket.
  8. >Surprisingly, it fit quite well.
  9. >"It took a long time for me to determine the measurements. Humans aren't exactly common in Equestria."
  10. "I'd say penguins are more common than me, why there's one here right now!"
  11. >An almost immediate eyeroll from Rarity.
  12. >"Yes, well, this isn't the whole suit."
  13. "It isn't?"
  14. >Hoo boy. What did she have in store for you?
  15. >"Here, try this on."
  16. >She gives you a bowtie. It's red. Huh.
  17. >You try it on, and look upon yourself in the mirror. The colors work pretty well, you think.
  18. "Oooh, pretty cool! How much to buy it?"
  19. >"That's the other thing. It's free.."
  20. >Sweet! A free tuxedo! Something to write home to the neckbeards of /mlp/ about if you could find a way home.
  21. >"...on one condition."
  22. >...Not so sweet.
  23. >"You accompany me on my trip to Canterlot. I have a list of things you could assist me with, such as carrying luggage, helping me with make-up, taste-testing food in case of assassination attempts, sweet Celestia knows how many of those I've survived..."
  24. >It was never that simple for you. That's how life worked for you.
  25. "Of course, madame. To this I willingly -bow- to you."
  26. //Worst pun. -Writeslut//
  29. >Be Carlos
  30. >It was Cider Season, and you were helping Applejack mix the cider
  31. >As a professional bartender, you knew how to mix things up
  32. >"Carlos, how's the cider over thar?"
  33. "It's pretty good. Just needs a bit more stirring to it. Got a question, though."
  34. >"Shoot."
  35. >You made the hand sign for a gun. Applejack got used to it after a while. She had that look on her face that directly told you 'if you make a goddamn pun you are dead haystack.'
  36. "Alcoholic, or non-alcoholic? I'm not used to brewing Equestian Apple Cider."
  37. >"Non-alcoholic."
  38. >Well there settles that question.
  39. >"Big Mac's taking care of the harder stuff. Don't wanna cause a ruckus."
  40. >Morning comes, the rooster cocks the doodle doo.
  41. >Huge-ass line for the cider. Pinkie Pie at the forefront.
  42. >It is a long day of celebration, but you were not able to see whether Rainbow Dash got her mug. With the upgraded work-force, there was more cider to go around.
  43. >After all was said and done, Applejack took a gander at the pile of bits.
  44. >"Would ya look at that? I reckon we can afford that new outpost in Foalway."
  45. >You smirk.
  46. "So I guess that's the -fruit- of our labor!"
  47. >You were saving that one the whole year.
  48. //Well played. -Writeslut//
  51. >Still be Carlos
  52. >After Rarity got back from her trip to Canterlot, she brought home a ponytux
  53. >And your dreams of that perfect blue tuxedo were immediately crushed.
  54. >She calls in Rainbow Dash to her boutique to try it on.
  55. >You struggle to contain a gigglesnort at how silly Blue Fast looks
  56. >"Laugh it up, anon, I'm not gonna wear this the whole time."
  57. >Then Rarity gives her a monocle
  58. >Your sides have been thrown in the garbage.
  59. >"Really?"
  60. "Aw come on, Rainbow, I think you look positively -dashing-
  61. >Rainbow looks at you as if she's heard the pun a million times.
  62. >"That's it?"
  63. "...maybe."
  64. >"Well, I think it works. Thank you, Rainbow, for being patient with me."
  65. >"No problem, Rares. Gotta make it quick, though, have a meeting with Spitfire."
  66. >She takes the tux and monocle off, and starts to walk out...
  68. >Oh boy. She was bringing out the bdsm gear. You always wondered why she kept that.
  69. >She retreats to her bedroom to get it. Rainbow looks at your horrified face.
  70. >" she getting?"
  71. "You don't wanna know. But what you do need to know..."
  72. >"Yeah?"
  73. "You might want to -bolt- out the door. As soon as possible."
  74. //Nah. -Writeslut//
  77. >Be Carlos
  78. >You were going to help take care of the animals while Fluttershy was out of town.
  79. >You didn't really like Angel all that much but it wasn't that bad otherwise.
  80. >You open the door. It's locked.
  81. >You search under the rug as the letter told you. The key isn't there.
  82. >Too early in the morning for this bearshit.
  83. >You decide that someone might be home and knock.
  84. >It opens downward.
  85. >"Oh hello there, almost forgot you were here to help keep house while Fluttershy was away."
  86. >Aw shit it's fucking Discord
  87. >"You certainly have a reputation around Ponyville, Carlos. Can I get you something to eat?"
  88. "Sure."
  89. >"I'll fix you up a bowl of noodles in that case. Name-ly, ramen."
  90. >Oh shit. He's going into the puns. This gun be gud.
  91. >"Although, I do need to brush up on my cooking skills, last time I tried to cook I flooded a town in strawberry milk. Was trying to go for strawberry ICE CREAM instead, but what have you. I hope it's not any trouble if I bake it instead of broil it."
  92. "Well, I guess not. I don't think it'll be (so-ba)d?
  93. //I'll let you figure out what I think of these puns. -Writeslut//
  96. >You were, yet again, Carlos.
  97. >You had gone to Sugarcube Corner for one of Pinkie Pie's parties.
  98. >It was a Birthday Party for Twist, the confectioneer in training
  99. >Generally you didn't really like her all that much, but god damn she was a great chef.
  100. >"Thankth for coming out here for my birthday, Carloth!"
  101. "Hey, don't sweat it!"
  102. >You wonder when Pinkie Pie's bringing out the cake.
  105. >"Yaaaaaaaaay, thankth, Pinkie!"
  106. >You loved the little kids. They were all so adorable!
  107. >Suddenly Discord's face appeared on the cake.
  108. >"Oh, I hope you don't mind that I baked a Cheesecake for you, Twist."
  109. >The cake literally turns into cheese. Fucking Discord.
  110. >You can already tell the shock on the both of their faces.
  111. "Well, that was certainly a -Twist- of fate.."
  112. >Pinkie gives you the look that stated "not the time, Carlos"
  113. >"..Maybe I thould've thtayed home today.."
  114. >You freeze.
  115. >That complaint.
  116. >You know you've heard it first-hand a thousand times
  117. >But you couldn't have been there. You were Anonymous, dammit!
  118. >...were you?
  119. >You decide to visit Twilight.
  121. >"Be still, Carlos."
  122. >You weren't sure about Twilight Sparkle. She reminded you of a certain girl from your "past" that by all means shouldn't have been your classmate.
  123. >Was Carlos really taking over you?
  124. >Regardless of inner turmoil you are stuck with Twilight until she figured out what the hell was going on.
  125. >"Hmmm...interesting."
  126. "What?"
  127. >"According to my research.."
  128. >There it was again. That weird reminder of a past you shouldn't have.
  129. >"...this species you've called 'human' should only have one complete set of genetic makeup."
  130. "You're right, I should, but Rarity keeps adding more and more on it."
  131. >She ignores your little joke.
  132. >"...but somehow, from examining your blood sample, yours isn't completely natural. Almost as if you were transformed upon arrival."
  133. "Never figured that out, to be completely honest."
  134. >"Carlos, I want to ask you. How and why do you make so many puns in any context?"
  135. "I just roll with the punches. It's what I do, Purple Smart."
  136. >Another eyeroll from the alicorn.
  137. >"It's Violet more than anything."
  138. "Same thing, Dorothy."
  139. >You tense up again.
  140. >Dorothy.
  141. >How the shit.
  142. >"..Dorothy?"
  143. "Uhhhhhhh-"
  144. >"Is there something wrong?"
  145. "Give me a second. I need to think."
  146. >You try and remember about the events leading up to getting here in the first place.
  147. >You know for a fact that the portal was one way.
  148. >You know you set it up.
  149. >You know it was part of a science project at school-
  150. >What.
  151. >You try and remember your closest friends
  152. >You remember Arnold, the redhead with the glasses that was always-
  154. >You remember Dorothy, the bookworm who was one of the first to argue with you on something.
  155. >You remember returning fire.
  158. >You have a stress attack. You suddenly start to lose your vision, and start to black out.
  160. >"..he's starting to wake..."
  161. >"...didn't give you any trouble, did he..?"
  162. >You open your eyes, washed out from just waking up.
  163. "Wh...what happened."
  164. >You start to see stuff. Twilight and Rarity are by your bedside.
  165. >"You passed out after we talked about what was happening to you. I think we know what's going on. Do you remember what happened before you passed out?
  166. >Freakin' headache.
  167. "Well...maybe, but it's a very faint memory.."
  168. >Stay classy, Carlos
  169. >Wait
  170. >Memories from before you passed out started pouring in. The party. The research. The unmemories. The school.
  171. >What the shit.
  172. >"Carlos, chill out!"
  173. "I will, if the AC would start working!"
  174. >"Again, I think I can explain this. As you came to Equestria, you were struck with some spell that turned you into...well, who you are. We haven't been able to track down the caster, but suffice to say you weren't 'Carlos' before."
  175. >No shit.
  176. >"At the time, you were still this 'anonymous' person that you muttered in your sleep about, but when I checked your blood sample, I noticed that you weren't natural, even by 'human' standards. That whoever Carlos is was becoming a part of you."
  177. >"This is the side-effect of using a transformation spell; stay in that form too long and you start to become it. That is what I try to avoid when using Transformation spells, so I think I can tell you right now. This spell is permanent unless the caster undoes it, and whoever you were before is as good as gone. I'm sorry.."
  178. >Holy fuck.
  179. >Because some jerk turned you into Carlos, you were now literally becoming Carlos. And there was no stopping it. You, or at least the 'you' that you were before, was effectively dead.
  180. >"I'm sorry, anon..."
  181. "Ditto..."
  182. //For reference, I posted a Ditto pic in that post. -Writeslut.//
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