(DITF) ORPHANAGE STORIES (TEEN EDITION) *UPDATE*

BONUS TEEN ORPHANAGE STORY


>3:23 AM
>teen 02 and Hiro coming back to the orphanage
>turn on the light of the living room
>startled by bullyposter covered in a blanket with a hot cocoa cup
>"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU TWO BEEN?"
>they tell me that they went to a party with the 9's and the others
>bullyposter is angry as fuck, no phone calls, no papernotes, 2 teens disappeared
>"you are grounded young lady! you too, young man!"
>we argue for hours
>both telling me that they hate me
>hiro telling me that i don't understand him
>spouting some bullcrap about his wings being clipped
>"oh yeah Hiro, let's start again your shitty poetry for your tormented teen soul!"
>"also start dressing up properly! Not your bird themed t shirts! you look like a punk! And this is a straight household!"
>hiro tearing and screaming at me
>"I HATE YOU"
>they both rush inside their rooms
>*door slam*
>*DAAAHLING UMEI GA starts playing*
>i hit the door multiple times
>TURN OFF THAT RACKET



OTHER BONUS



>teen orphanage story
>hiro and 02 became delinquent teens
>have to take the part of the concerned parent
>they always come back later
>hiro trying to partake me in some shitty poetry he decided to write about flowers, birds, his love 02, and being free
>telling him that he doesn't even have a job, good luck being free, boy
>he tells me that 02 is a good drawer, so they will live on that
>nice fucking economical plan boy
>we start fighting
>he says that i can't understand him and 02
>tell them they should behave and dress properly, and not staying up all night outside
>02 telling me that he hates me
>well my orphanage my rules young lady
>she storms into her room
>locks the door
>*DAAHLING UMEI GAH"
>loud music and locked door
>i'm in the kitchen, drinking coffee, asking myself what did i do wrong
>tell myself they are teens, its a difficult age
>miss the times where they were children, where the only problems were homework, birthday cakes, and lethal bite wounds
Being the bullyparent of more than a dozen of parasites is hard
>a day later
>breakfast
>Mitsuru, pass me the milk please
>Mitsuru?
>acting like an edgelord, watching me with contempt
>yeah okay, you're a tormented soul, we get it, now pass me the milk
>he passes it, then leaves the room
>and cut that fucking hair
>what's with mitsuru today, jesus, adolescence hit him like a truck
>Kokoro asking me if she goes and help him
>easy there Crazy Ovaries, i perfectly know what you want, stay far from him
>i don't want other children to take care of
>Zorome and Miku fighting
>"stop fighting" i say calmly while i drink my coffee and read the newspaper

>imagine trying to stop a mutated dino girl in her teen years and her human/soon to be klaxxo lover from getting into trouble
>imagine being one of their only parent figures during the most problematic years ever
>along with other 12 boys/girls
>imagine her trying to convince you to go to the cinema with her darling alone for the night
>imagine getting into a fight against her, while she tries to bargain into using your old car
>you'd do unspeakable things for the safety of that car, the thought of a dino teen girl using it frightens you
>imagine trying to bargain with Hiro, the only one with a bit of common sense, but he's completely intoxicated by love and teenage stupidity
>imagine all of this while you're having terrible doubts about Mitsuru's sexuality
>imagine all of this while Kokoro is an ovaries bomb trying to explode
>imagine Hime being Hime, MikuZorome fighting, Futoshi sacking your fridge, Ikuno being an unsufferable sarcastic know-it-all
>imagine a pretty normal glasses guy alterning moments where he is level headed and moments where he humiliates himself because of unrequited love

>scared about Mitsuru's wimpiness
>don't want him to be bullied or something like this
>trying to get him into sports 50's style
>throw him a football
>he tries to catch it
>accidentally blackening his left eye
>Kokoro storming the situation
>she wants to help him by putting some ice in the bathroom
>".................................................Ok."
>he gets back, seems pretty ok
>wait, are these lipstick stains
>you are terrified now

>teen orphanage
>night time
>after 3 hours arguing with 02 and Hiro, i decided to hide the car keys
>don't want them in trouble
>don't want that couple of hormone buckets going full hormones in my car
>don't want my car to be annihliated by that girl
>i'm sleeping
>wondering if i had been to harsh
>*DOOR SLAM*
>it's Ichigo
>she's telling me that Hiro and 02 escaped
>hear car screeching from the window
>"MOTHERFUCKERS" i shout as i break a piece of the window glass with a punch

>they somehow managed to start up the car
>they are now going through the little town near the orphanage
>have no means to reach them
>*EUREKA*
>storm Ikuno's room
>she was reading
>take the tiny metal cart where she place her books, take them out and grab the cart
>she seems angry, her fingernails digging inside the pages
>tell her to sleep
>see Kokoro being full ovary mode
>lock her inside the room, no time for Mitsukoko trash now
>use my secret weapon
>"Hime, i need you now!"
>strap her on the cart like a horse
>take Hiro's shirt and put her on her face
>"Now go girl!"
>with my makeshift cart i go through town in search of the dynamic duo, Hime towing my vehicle

>searching for them
>suddenly Hime smelling and pointing her finger on a closed sweet shop
>"good job girl"
>decide to crack open the shop
>no amount of property damage can top the amount of money required to look after an eventual klaxxohuman pregnancy
>search inside the shop, no trace of them, Hime devouring sweets
>grab her and throwing her out, let's search elsewhere
>and hope they are not doing what i think they're doing
>Hime leading me on the library, other 6 candy shops, the closed mall, to no avail
>where the hell did they go
>suddenly, notice some traces of viscous orange goo leading to the forest
>*bingo*

>decide to inspect the strange orange traces
>honey
>bingo
>take Hime with me and search inside the forest
>after a while another clue
>02's circlet
>oh fuck
>FUCK
>her jacket
>his jacket
>his shoes
>jesus christ
>after a while i hear some giggling
>they are swimming inside a pool
>couple of FUCKERS

>trying to reach them
>stumble on a huge pile of empty bottles
>they drank a lot, Hiro is in his boxers, 02 on her bra and jeans
>trying to get them both
>they are surprisingly fast on water
>manage to grab Hiro
>he's just laughing
>02 is just playing with water
>they are smashed
>they seem too drunk to do anything corporeal somehow
>02 can't control her strenght tho, nearly ripped off my arm while i was holding a demented Hiro
>manage to block them, dress them and get the car
>they fucking scraped the paintjob tho
>they are now inside the car, they want to go to the ice cream shop
>drunk as fuck, like i said
>hold on, where is Hime
>she's playing inside the pool
>manage to get her back with just some bruises and scrapes
>i start the car with a tied up Hime next to me and Hir02 spouting nonsense behind

>managed to organize a beach trip for the group
>managed to find a nice shack near the shore, not that different from the mistleteinn
>they can have fun
>but with a strict set of rules
>no alcohol for them, no hormones overflowing
>no vandalism, trying to get inside each other's rooms, no strange behaviour, etc.
>they are too happy to listen to me
>managed to sneak some beer for me
>first day at the beach
>girls are either sunbathing or playing near the shore
>of course fucking Ikuno had to bring some books with her
>dork...
>02 and Hime playing with Hiro
>yell at them from the deckchair to go easy on him
>figures...
>Zorome and Futoshi trying to write something with the sunscreen on Miku's back
>Ichigo and Goro together in the water
>Goro is blind without glasses, so its basically Ichigo acting as guide dog for him
>Mitsuru talking with Kokoro in under their umbrella
>all is well
>actually getting really tired
>end up falling asleep, cradled by the noise of the waves

>wake up
>Miku screaming at Zorome and Futoshi
>she has something unspeakable written on her back
>as i wake up i find myself surrounded by the kids
>they are hungry
>i'm really, really, really tired
>end up giving a kick to the coolbag near me
>sandwiches and drinks inside
>they start eating as i try to fall asleep again
>ask someone to fetch me a beer
>too fat and comfy to stand up and taking it myself right now
>Naomi is giving me my sandwich and beer
>the only one being remotely useful, and she's got one arm
>i don't even know how she managed to give me both at the same time
>wait, where the hell is Hiro
>notice some blue figure hugging Hiro between the waves
>"oh..... fuck"
>i instinctively turn my head to 02, she's FURIOUS
>i have a primal 02 being nuclear, about to throw herself on the sea
>and a Hiro/Hime situation to unwrap
>i finish my sandwich
>sip my beer, tell kokoro to hold it, but not drink it
>try to stop 02, and reach the water at the same time, and stop this mess
>as 02 starts running, i try to hold up
>end up falling and hold her by her ankles
>she's not stopping
>its like i'm trying to stop a car
>shitload of sand on my mouth, then water
>try to wave near Hiro and Hime
>02 fighting Hime, i grab a knocked out Hiro
>tell 02 and Hime to stop, while i hold that poor guy
>they are both biting my right forearm, while i scream like a girl
>the other kids are watching, doing NOTHING AT ALL
>god i hate them so much
>i manage to reach the sand, while i hold them
>i'm covered in blood and saliva
>oh god, i don't feel so well
>as i pass out, i can feel Hime gnawing my shoulder
>Ichigo and goro try to help Hiro
>some time passes
>no one helping me
>ungrateful shits
>feel something poking me
>"ngggghh...."
>*poke*
>"mmhhhnghhh...."
>*HUGE SLAP*
>OW
>WHAT THE HELL
>its Ichigo, she's telling me that they packed up the things and they are on their way for the new house on the beach for the week
>my back hurts
>feel a stinging burn
>i'm literally purple for the burns
>i am literally pain incarnate
>Zorome asking me if i got better during the nap
>slaps my back
>*beastly roar*
>we manage to reach the new house
>its basically a tropic themed mistleteinn
>i need someone to tend to my injuries and put some cream
>they are all disgusted, they choose the straw system
>like a soldier, Ikuno decides to meet her destiny
>"see, Ikuno? you can be useful, if you drop the books sometimes and act like a girl"
>*SLAP ON THE BACK*
>i scream like a girl
>as she tries to put some bandages on the wounds, i hear some giggles from the other room
>storm outside mine, Ikuno sighing
>blinded by the pain and the suspicion eating my soul, i start inspecting the other rooms
>"HAH"
>its just Miku, Naomi and Kokoro combing their head and screaming as i stormed inside
>i can see Mitsuru, Zorome, Goro and Futoshi in the living room, chatting and watching some tv
>Ichigo and 02 in the kitchen cooking dinner
>i told them i handle that shit
>child orphanage nostalgia flash
>Hime in the garden, fighting with mosquitos
>where the hell is Hiro
>ask ichigo where Hiro's room is
>telling me to keep it quiet because even 02 wants to know
>she then tells me where he is
>but he's sleeping, he's destroyed after the whole Hime/02 situation
>as i turn back, i can hear some smirks
>my back is completely red with "WIDE LOAD" written on it
>i still didn't realize it
>Ikuno trying to put me some ice, as i whine and scream like a girl
>Ichigo and 02 actually worked together for dinner
>surprising, to say the least
>dinner time
>huge turkey, smell is delicious
>wait i-is that
>nope, normal turkey sauce
>everything is going just fine
>my burns are actually healing thanks to ikuno
>i have a huge hand mark on the back because of her but still
>everything is going well
>fishy...
>Hime and 02 are here
>strange

>*sniff*
>what is this smell
>something is burning
>rush to the kitchen
>everything is fine
>"WHERE THE HELL IS HIRO"
>rush to the rooms, where i can see a door where smoke comes out
>break it open
>"OH FUCK"
>Hiro's bed is aflame
>everyone in panic
>02 and Hime in panic
>i try to not come up with a joke, no time
>find an extinguisher, Hiro is surprisingly fine
>what the fu....
>i'm blinded by a blue-ish glow, he has fucking horns
>my soul is torn apart as i realize that i'm gonna repay an entire bed
>and 02 and Hime witnessed klaxxohiro
>my first thought is "why me"
>i don't want other children to grow
>i should've kept being a bully for hire
>my reflexes tell me to stop Hime and 02
>they are right
>hime and 02 are in complete ecstasy, they want to mate
>and my job is to stop them for the weekend
>i tend to hold them both with my arms, and ask a flustered Ichigo to take Hiro to a safe place on the house
>as i search for something to stop 2 dino murdering machines in heat
>as i hold them both in a bear hug, while they are shaking and screaming
>i order goro, futoshi and zorome to take 2 steel chairs from the kitchen, and some rope from the tents
>02 is literally tearing my shoulder apart
>Hime is literally flaying my right hand with her tiny teeth
>Ichigo told me that Hiro is secured
>yell at her, Ikuno, Naomi and Miku to take some honey, disinfectant, bandages, the candies in my jacket, the blue/red dino plushie, a baseball bat
>and my revolver with one bullet if things go wrong
>kokoro ignoring everything and looking at Mitsuru picking his nose with lust
>"NOT NOW"
>i kick her inside her room and lock the door, because i have a bigger problem right now
>manage to tie them on the chairs
>as i tend to my injuries i try to talk to them
>only growls and hisses
>they seem incredible angry
>they are scary as fuck
>jesus, what should i do

>they are now tied to 2 separate chairs inside the basement
>think about what to do
>idea
>"MIKU"
>"WHAAT"
>"TAKE MY ANTI DINO SUIT, ITS IN MY CAR"
>"I DON'T WANNA GO OUTSIDE! WHY DON'T YOU GO"
>this fucking girl
>take my suit
>its just a series of pillows strapped with some ducktape, but they saved my life back in the day
>when i tried to take the honey out of Eo To's hands
>or when i tried to teach Hime how to read
>or when i tried to give Eo To a bath
>or when Eo To went bananas because she swallowed the car keys
>or when Hime went bananas because she swallowed the car keys
>that taught me to hide better the car keys
>actually have a bit of nostalgia of that period
>back to the basement
>lock the door
>untie Hime and 02
>meet my destiny