Fate\Grand Order - Medb's Room

Don't know why I'm so nervous. It's a date. We've done this a ton of times. It's just a date. It happens to be on a special day but that's just an arbitrary number. In fact for me this day hasn't even been about romance so much as it's been about circles and curves. I guess it still is in this case. And here I thought we were both so comfortable around each other.

Well, time to bite the bullet. I press the doorbell and wait for the answer. As I wait, I'm wondering. Is it really classed as a doorbell? I pictured a doorbell more like something on the front of a house, but these are just quarters in Chaldea. Questions for later. I hear her moving around.

The door slides open and I see Medb standing in front of me. Her arms are crossed and she doesn't look very pleased. She's completely naked, uh, except her crown is still on, and I can tell by the way her body is glistening and her hair is pulled down rather than its normal bounce that she was just recently covered head to toe with water.

"You have a key, you know." she says, turning her head up coyly.

"Yeah," I reply, taking off my shoes and socks before entering. Uh, the carpeting in her room is really soft, it's great. "But I was actually kind of hoping to catch you like this."

"Geez," Medb closes the door behind me and flicks a tuft of her hair at me, playfully pouting. To an outsider it might not look like that but she's definitely not that angry, otherwise she would have just kicked me out immediately.

I lean in to give her a hug but she places a finger on my chin and gestures me back.

"No, no." Medb says, "You're actually dressed nicely for once. I don't want to ruin those sharp clothes." She returns to her bath, so she can finish up quickly.

Well, we still have some time so I decide to look around. I heard that she reorganized her room recently. The scent of her perfume tickles my nose. I'm assailed by the memories of the first time I was in here. I couldn't stop sneezing. I don't know if she's toned it down or if I just got used to it, to be honest.

I wander into the kitchen and as if by instinct checking out what she's got for groceries. Just the usual. Salmon, nuts, beef, leftover takeout (I don't know why she keeps leftovers when she never eats them), ice cream, her homemade mead, a whole dead pig, and fresh seasonal fruits. Wait, something's off. There's a jar of a milky white thing. Simply eyeballing it, the consistency makes it look like yogurt, but why would it be in a jar? Is she getting into making yogurt by hand or something? Against my better judgment I open up the jar. The scent that immediately wafts to my nostrils confirms it is most definitely not yogurt. I see something in the corner of my eye and turn, curious. Yeah, that's a crate of strawberries. For some reason, Medb ordered an industrial-sized crate of strawberries. I knew she liked them, but that's a bit much.

"By the way, tell me what you think of the new flower." I hear from the bathroom.

"Mind telling me why, exactly?" I ask as I turn. Next to one of Medb's [many] bull figures she's placed a bright pink circular flower with countless petals.

"It's a chrysanthemum." she answers, "Everyone has one, you know."

"Really? But I don't."

"Most people don't get to see their own. Just trust that it's there."

"What are you talking about?" She's not making a lick of sense.

"Back when I was alive, we didn't even know about chrysanthemums. The thought of tending to one couldn't even cross my mind since we weren't aware of its existence." Medb says dreamily, "I just bought it today and I decided. Do you want to water it?"

"Not particularly, but I will if you tell me to." I resign to the fact that she's making some joke that's flying over my head.

"You know, it's not special unless you do it because you want to." Medb sighs. I hear the water in her tub shifting, "I guess I'll keep my chrysanthemum alive so its ready for when you decide to be the first person to water it yourself."

"Suit yourself."

I turn around and look into the living room. She seems to have installed a plasma screen television. There's her big couch, that I know is staying right where it is. It's positioned in such a way that someone could lean over one side of it and there would still be room for an adult to squeeze past between her and the wall from any angle. I notice a pillow on the couch marked "Yes". I grab it and turn it to its other side. The pillow now reads "Yes".

The coffee table has some markings that get me thinking. Is there a term for the residual marks left from sweaty flesh on glass? In any case, I get a paper towel to wipe them clean. As I do so, some of the DVD cases catch my eye. One in particular. It looks incredibly familiar but I swear I haven't seen it. Or have I? I can't remember how it ends.

"Hey, Medb," I call out, "Did we ever watch Amadeus?"

"We started." she answers, "But things got touchy and we ended up banging to a Mozart soundtrack instead."

"You think things might be too physical? I have a hunch that isn't really good for keeping things afloat."

"Don't be ridiculous, it's not like I'm aiming for a long-term relationship or anything." Her voice trails off. After a short pause, Medb sighs. Her voice becomes a little more worried, "Besides, they only get that way when we're in private."

"Nonetheless, I think we should set up a time to actually watch the movie or it's just wasted money."

"Nothing wrong with wasting money! Just shows how damn rich you are!"

"So you want me to throw your ceramic bull out the window?" I say, clearly joking. But even the thought of it makes Medb practically leap out of the tub, as I can tell from the sound of water splashing. "We'll invite Nightingale."

"Why her specifically?" Medb relaxes back in her position.

"I'll offhandedly mention that we don't have any protection."

"Right, that'll definitely keep things from getting romantic."

As I sit on the couch waiting for her to finish the bath, I notice that Medb's left her shawl sitting in plain view. It's tempting. Very tempting. But I know it bugs her when I touch it. It fascinated me for a long time. Despite her wearing it so often it seems to stay fresh as a spring morning. It doesn't wear or anything. Every single time she holds me while wearing it, it's like a brand new pair of socks. Oh, before I even realized it my body just started moving on its own, starting with a slight caress until my face is buried in the fluffiness. Mofumofumofumofumofu...

"Hey, are you mofumofuing my clothes?" Medb calls from the bathroom.

"Was I making the noise out loud?" I gasp.

"What, are you really?" she sighs, "That was just a hunch I had."

"I'll stop." I assure. So I stand up to avoid being tempted by it again. Out of sight, out of mind.

I continue around the room. I notice that the pictures have been moved slightly in redecorating. She used to have a picture of Fergus and his Ulster exiles right next to the kitchen but that's been replaced with that picture we took with the whole group when Arjuna finally came out of his shell and agreed to join us. Myself, her, Arjuna, Cu, Xuanzang, Emiya, Kintoki and Martha are all there. Wait, are Elizabeth and Marie photobomming in the background? I didn't notice that before.

Technically, Medb's guest room is her own room. She always keeps the door closed and locked. Even for someone so... Shall we say "open" as Medb, there is a part of herself she's ashamed to show others. Well, I do have a key, after all. The reason she keeps it locked is precisely because she doesn't want to get embarrassed. But it isn't like I'd ever tell anyone something she wants to keep secret.

It looks like a teenager's room. She's got posters of cute boys and piles of plushies, CD cases tossed all over (classic rock's rubbing off on her), underwear thrown off halfheartedly and a mini-fridge for when she wants to be lazy and not walk the ten steps to her kitchen. Inside this bedroom's closet she has so much stuff thrown in halfheartedly I don't even want to begin to explain it piece by piece. But something about the room remains cute. Perhaps it's the toys strewn about, or maybe just how blunt Medb is with herself despite going to such efforts to make any room she's fine with letting people enter look so clean, putting aside the occasional stray sex-marks. As I turn to leave and re-lock the door, though, I see a poster on the way out for Cannibal Corpse and flinch. Well, you can't fault her comedic timing.

Back to the main bedroom. It's not too different from before. The walls are painted in dark reds and the bed takes up the majority of the room, and the lamps are specifically tuned as mood lighting rather than something a little more practical, hence why "her" room is the guest room. Anyone she's bringing in here is going to be sleeping in Medb's bedroom anyway, if at all. I notice she's installed a panel on the door. That's new. I press one button and see a harness slowly descend from the ceiling. I pause a moment and let that sink in. Then I press the button again and choose to ignore the panel. I step further in and check the closet. Nurse, schoolgirl, bunny, maid, nun, Santa? Uh, a Santa outfit is supposed to be red, not black. I close the closet and go back to the den.

"Out of curiosity, where do you keep your regular clothes?" I ask.

"In my personal room." she answers.

"Don't they get wrinkled?" I say, "I mean, not that I mind but I think you would."

"Go back and check, I properly handle clean clothes." I know she does so I don't need to.

"So," Medb continues, "Where we going? Does it have three Michelin Stars with a foul-mouthed head chef?" she thinks.

"That'd be nice but not only are there none around, it's way out of my own ability to get such a place."

"Then a karaoke bar? Sushi place? Brazilian steakhouse? Surprise me."

"Well, I'm giving you full veto power first of all but I was thinking this new Indian place. Arjuna vouched for it."

"You want to see a bright red crysanthemum?" she replies. Oh, wonderful, we're back to that. "How about eating food in the shower? We can get right to the main event after, or even during dinner!"

"If you insist. I certainly wouldn't mind."

"No, no, Indian sounds good. And I know you love it." I hear her voice start to strain like she's stretching out, "Hey, I'm about to finish so come inside and start drying my hair."

"Sure thing." I go to the bathroom and start to do so. I'm used to it but I'm really stunned by how brilliant her hair is. It's soft and smooth and the brief glances at her fair neck and shoulders behind the hair is to die for. It probably sounds weird but even if she weren't naked, drying her hair is practically erotic all in itself. Of course, freeing up Medb's hands as she bathes gives her time to enjoy the water more. It's a win-win. She splashes around and hums a tune (incidentally, I recognize the song as a top pick from my favorite artist and I'm pretty certain her choice of song is intentional), teasing me by raising her legs to attract my gaze or leaning back to spread her shoulders wide and expose more of her body.

"Oh, by the way," she says, "Today's White Day, isn't it? Mind giving me some spoilers about what sort of return gift you got?"

"If you want it right now I can give it."

"Your sense of romantic timing isn't very good. You need to give the gift as we stare out over a picturesque view, something truly beautiful. One-of-a-kind. A miracle. Like the Aurora Borealis or something."

"If that's what you want," I say, "There's a mirror directly to your right." She doesn't respond but I can feel her shoulders quiver ever so slightly.

"I got some spoilers, anyway. I managed to squeeze some information out of Paracelsus, you know." She turns to me, "Any reason why you didn't just get him to make your little Herm potion?"

I feel myself blush and avert my eyes, "It's not really a very good gift if I don't at least learn how to make it myself."

"Hmm?" Medb turns, "But in many ways its more a gift for yourself, isn't it? I mean, I certainly could do without it. All it really does is make some of my nights a tad more convenient, right?"

"I got you something more tangible, so you know. A gift that you can always have with you."

"Oh?"

My heart races and I feel like the mood is actually at a good place right now, so I wrap the light silver chain around Medb's neck and gently hook it in.

"A necklace, is it?" she looks down, "What is this, anyway?"

"It's, uh, a crystal apple."

"Any particular reason why an apple?"

"Well there's the symbolism behind it."

"First symbolism I think is about a serpent tempting a woman to destroy her." Medb says, eyes narrowing, "The second is about goddesses starting a bloody war over a damned apple. The third is about someone being tricked into marriage because of apples. All in all..."

I cut Medb off by flicking at her crown from behind. It slides off of her head and she barely catches it before it falls into the water.

"That's what I was getting at with the apple."

"What?!" she stands and turns to me, "I don't get it!"

"Have you ever thought," I say, standing and grasping her shoulders, "Why is it, that when an apple breaks off from a tree, it always falls towards the ground? Why should it not fly to the left, or the right, or upwards?"

"Silly, that's just how it always works. Why would it do anything else?"

"Sir Isaac Newton theorized that there is an invisible force that the Earth exerts that pulls that apple towards it." She's used to this. I get really excited talking about these sort of things, "At the same time, there must also be a force that the apple exerts pulling the Earth to it. The same force in both cases, of course." I explain.

"Wooow, romantic." she replies, disinterested. Yet she isn't fully dismissive, she's giving a genuine half-smile. It strikes me as the kind of face that says she finds amusement that this sort of dork is the person who is most attracted to her.

"He called it the theory of universal gravitation. All objects are constantly exerting a gravitational pull on every other object in the universe." I say, "Hence," I step back, "The apple." I notice she doesn't seem to get it, so I elaborate, "Even if there was a universe of distance, there's an invisible force that connects the two of us. It's something a lot stronger than gravity." I say, "And it'll always lead me right to where that apple is."

With that, I point to it. The necklace was measured such that it would fall between her breasts, but I don't aim at the apple. Instead, I point to my right, at her heart instead.

I hear something drip into the bathtub, making an audible splash. Before I register, Medb pushes me against the wall. She's grinning deviously and so close I can smell her breath, warm and sweet like honey.

"Know what? I'm not very hungry all of a sudden." The tip of her tongue runs smoothly across her lips, "But I'm certainly rather thirsty."

She's completely unhinged. Rather than any of her usual skill she's flailing aggressively, reaching in as deeply as she can. Yet her instincts are sharp, as expected. Without even thinking she's a master. I can feel my legs start to buckle under the pressure.

She's not letting up even for a moment. I try to back away to get a second to catch my breath but she immediately gives chase and before I've even started to fill my lungs, I'm caught.

Thinking fast, I jab my finger into Medb's belly button and she backs away, shivering from the shock. She makes a weird vibrato noise that I've never heard from her in the process.

"Th-that's not a hole for fingers!" Medb shouts, "It's White Day! Aren't I supposed to get what I want?"

"Try to exercise some patience. A little waiting goes a long way." I explain. I'm clearly struggling to regain my footing from her assault, "Besides, Servants need food too, right?"

"We need magical energy, it's a bit different." Her eyes start to drop, scanning her target area. I think she can notice that, as expected, my body is screaming things that my mouth is contradicting. It feels like my belt is about to burst off by itself, and I don't think that'd even be physically possible. "You've saved up a bit, haven't you?"

"We'll both be too hungry to keep our stamina going!" I plead.

"We'll eat in between rounds! I have food in the fridge!" Her eyes are starting to turn psychotic, "Patience is not one of my virtues!"

"Weren't you just talking about having proper romantic timing? I hardly think half past five is the right time for this."

"As if I should hold to my own standards! Nothing wrong with my hypocrisy! I am Medb! Queen Medb!" a chalice appears in her hand, "In the past, present and future I do as I please! My Red Mead!"

Before I know what's happening a sweet liquid pours down my throat and I can already feel it in my head. Before Medb can pull off my belt I shuffle to the side out of her grasp.

"E-eh? But that there's a Noble Phantasm of mine," she points at the cup, "You're supposed to be totally subservient to me."

"Dummy," I tap her on the head with my fist lightly, "Would you need magic to make the sky blue? I already was yours to begin with."

I notice her flare up red, all the way to her ears. Medb stands and starts to dry herself off, "You, ah, you've leveled up, to say the least." She turns to hide her face from me, "All things considered, yes, waiting will make us both more anxious. A few more hours to build up your tension and you'll have that violent passion of a starved beast that makes for the best experience, don't you think?"

"I didn't think of that, but that's a good point." To be honest, it's already taking all of my willpower not to say to hell with dinner and start going right to it. But I really want that curry. What? I'm not allowed to be a little selfish?

EPILOGUE

OH GOD WHY DID WE DO ORAL AFTER INDIAN FOR DINNER?!