Introductions with CanadAnon

>Day Chilly in Equestria
>You are Anon
>Canadian
>Not those province bitches
>Territory Master Race
>Wake up
>Shit, shower
>Shave? What is this, Mexico?
>You stroke your beard
>Feels like heavy cable, as it should
>Go and eat breakfast
>Logs. Like a beaver, but more manly
>The ponies had offered you a house, but the brick made you uncomfortable
>You went into Everfree Forest and chopped down a few trees
>Ok so a lot of trees
>There was now a 50ft. long phallic shaped clearing penetrating the forest, your house resting in its bulging tip
>At night you swear you could hear the trees crying
>Feels good
>You really liked chopping down trees
>Had to keep your axes in Ponyville, otherwise you’d cut down a dozen trees every morning
>Back home they had made you stay in the middle of the tundra to avoid you doing just that
>It’s not that bad of an addiction
>Ever since you started eating tree logs, it’s been a lot easier to resist the urge
>Hear a knocking on your door
>Answer it in your plaid boxers
>Fluttershy is holding a snow ball
>”H-hello Anon! Are s-snow b-ball fights your fetish?”
>At this point, she throws the snowball at your chest from point blank range
>It melts on your chest, and the water drips onto the ground
>Before you can respond, you hear a roar
>Fluttershy squeals and hides behind you as you turn to face the trees
>A massive bear steps into the clearing
>Except its fur seems to be…. stars?
Fluttershy, what exactly is this thing?
>”I-it’s an Ursa Major!”
Cool
>”No! N-not cool! They’re i-incredibly d-d-dangerous!”
>The Ursa Major approaches, stepping back on its hind legs and roaring at you
>You thump your chest and roar back
>It pauses for a moment, and then continues to roar at you
>This goes on for a while
>Fluttershy walks off and makes some coffee
>You have some Tim Horton’s sitting in the house
>You have no idea how they made it to another world, but you weren’t complaining
>You needed your fix
>Fluttershy comes out and screams
>You and the bear are wrestling
>”A-Anon! I’ll save you!”
>Fluttershy flies towards you, only to smack into the Ursa Major’s ass and fall to the ground
>You and the bear look at her
I think she’s unconscious
>The bear growls
You’re right, she did have it coming
>The bear grunts inquisitively
 Hah! Of course I can understand you. I’m Canadian!
>The bear proceeds to let loose several grunts and growls
Ursul, eh? Not exactly the most creative name, but hey, I won’t hold it against you. I’m Anonymous, but most people just call me Anon!
>More growls
I’d love to come to your cave tonight, thanks!
>You pat Ursul on the back, and it heads back into the forest, shitting what appears to be a pile of dark matter as it leaves
Such a majestic beast
>You look at Fluttershy, who is still lying on the ground
>You see her leg twitch, and juices run into the snow
>”Oh Anon! Take me in your hairy arms!”
>Ew
>You pick her up by her front hooves and take her to her house, leaving her on the front doorstep
>You’d put her inside, but it would be rude to enter her house with permission
>After a moment of nature appreciation, you head towards town

>You make your way through the streets
>You realize you forgot to put on pants and a shirt, but the ponies aren’t alarmed
>You do this a lot
>Lyra whistles at you, but that’s because she’s a pervert
>You stop by the Tim Horton’s and get yourself a coffee
>Fluttershy spilt the one she made
>And it had slipped your mind to make another
>Bear wrestling is very captivating
>You pull out a few bits from your beard rucksack and pay the pony behind the bar
>They still overcharge like a mother fucker
>It was cheaper to buy some and make it yourself, but not by much
>Bastards
>You reach Twilight’s tree
>You resist the urge to chop it down
>Such a magnificent thing
>To be big enough to be hollowed out and lived in?
>Oh what you would give to chop it down in its prime
>”Uh, Anon? What’s up?”
>You shake your head, and look down to see Spike standing just inside the door
>Right, business
I’m here to see Twilight, Spike. Mind if I come in?
>”Sure thing!”
>You walk past him, and he closes the door and follows you
>He seemed to take a shining to you
>Probably happened after you wrestled that Timberwolf into submission
>Guess he didn’t like them
>You were just confused that the tree was moving
>Twilight looks up from her book as you walk up to her room
>”Oh! Hey Anon! You’re a little late”
Sorry, Twilight. Was just wrestling with my new friend Ursul
>”Ursul? Actually, you know what, don’t tell me. You were going to show me these ‘Igloos’ you had mentioned?”
>You smile
Why yes, yes I was

>10 minutes later
>A massive igloo sits in town square
>It actually surrounds Town Hall and the clearing around it
>It was a pain to make at first, since the snow kept instantly melting in your hands
>Then you found some gloves that could cut off the heat, and you got to work
>Twilight is sputtering
>”H-how did you make this so fast?!”
>You turn and look at her
Well, I’m Canadian!
>”Anon! You’ve said that before, but I tell you, that doesn’t explain things like this! Are Canadians magic beings?”
Of course not! We’re just Canadian. We like the snow
>”But… but that… oh forget it! One of these days you’ll give me an actual explanation
>Before you can respond
>Wait, this line has been said before
>Interruptions ftw
>Anyways
>Fluttershy flies through the entrance, flapping her wings as fast as she can
>The snow at the entrance clogs it, and her juices turn it into ice
>You don’t even.
>”YOU WON’T GET AWAY FROM ME THIS TIME ANON!”
>You smile for a moment, before looking around
>All the other ponies inside must have left or gone to see the exterior of the igloo
>It’s only you, Twilight and Fluttershy
Hey Twilight, you can teleport, aye?
>She looks from Fluttershy to you, obviously confused, but nods
Teleport outside the igloo
>”Uh, ok, but what about you and Fluttershy?”
Oh don’t worry aboot us, eh.
>Twilight raises an eyebrow, but teleports out anyways
>Fluttershy grins, thinking you told Twilight you wanted privacy
>You walk to one side of the igloo, and beckon to Fluttershy
>She flies at you as fast as she can, but before she can tackle you, you punch out one of the blocks
>And the whole igloo collapses

>You are Twilight
>You weren’t entirely sure why Anon wanted you to leave the igloo, but he had a funny look in his eye, so you left anyways
>A few seconds later, the whole thing collapsed
>Somehow, the snow was over 7ft high
>There wasn’t nearly enough snow for that
>And why were all the blocks turned into powdery snow?
>You ran back to it, desperately digging through the snow to find Fluttershy and Anon
>After a few moments, a hole melted in the snow pile, and Anon stepped out, holding an unconscious Fluttershy
Anon! Are you alright? How did you get out? Why did it collapse? How is the snow so high-
>”I told you Twilight, I’m Canadian! And all igloo’s have a block that keeps it all together, I simply punched it out!”
>The fuck is this guy on
>”Oh, would you mind taking Fluttershy from me? I’ve got to get to dinner; Ursul invited me back to his cave!”
Uh… buh… sure? No, wait, who the heck is Ursul!?
>”Oh just some friendly Ursa Major I met earlier today! Nice guy, we wrestled! Anyways, I’ve gotta go! Thanks for taking care of her!”
>Anon tosses Fluttershy at you and jogs off, still wearing nothing but his plaid boxers
…Fucking CanadAnon