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- I read the news today oh, boy
- About a lucky man who made the grade
- And though the news was rather sad
- Well, I just had to laugh
- I saw the photograph
- He blew his mind out in a car
- He didn't notice that the lights had changed
- A crowd of people stood and stared
- They'd seen his face before
- Nobody was really sure if he was from the house of lords
- I saw a film today oh, boy
- The english army had just won the war
- A crowd of people turned away
- But I just had to look
- Having read the book
- I'd love to turn you on.
- Woke up, fell out of bed
- Dragged a comb across my head
- Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
- And looking up, I noticed I was late
- Found my coat and grabbed my hat
- Made the bus in seconds flat
- Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
- And somebody spoke and I went into a dream
- Ah
- I read the news today oh, boy
- Four thousand holes in blackburn, lancashire
- And though the holes were rather small
- They had to count them all
- Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the albert hall
- I'd love to turn you on
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