for anon

Sunny's eyes sting with desperate tears. Everything is wrong. The sun through the window is wrong, the creaking of the floorboards beneath him is wrong, Mari's shouting, growing higher and higher in pitch by the second, is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

Sunny stumbles backwards, covers his ears, but apparently that's wrong too, because Mari's grabbing him by the arm and his body reacts without realizing it, stretching his hands out to push her away-

Sunny stops.

In the epicenter of his mind, a picture begins to assemble itself with horrible clarity. Sunny pushing outwards. Mari falling from the sky like a comet, an angel, her white dress billowing out as she trips over her own feet. A sickening crack, a single discordant note. Mari's thick black hair spilling everywhere like an inkstain. A single, hateful eye, dark with rage and hate. Do you really think I'd forgive you, little brother?

Sunny stops. Reels.

And instead of pushing Mari, he begins to utterly sob.

What were small, stifled tears before have developed into awful, chest-shaking whimpers as Sunny collapses in on himself, tucking his head into his chest, wanting nothing more than to disappear.

There's a startled gasp, and the yelling immediately stops. Sunny flinches away at the sensation of cold hands on his arms, and then slowly looks up as he realizes - a hug. Of course. Mari's hair drapes across him as she clenches Sunny to her chest, whispering softly into his ears.

"I'm sorry, little brother. I'm sorry, I should never have yelled at you. I'm so, so sorry. Just tell me what happened, okay?"

Sunny looks up at Mari. He remembers-

Sunny is two and crying because he's scraped his knee. Mari, fluttering down to him, to kiss his cut over and over until the pain ebbs away.

Sunny is five, and he's struggling to ride a bike for the first time. Mari's hands sit firmly on his shoulders, guiding him through the turn.

Sunny is eight, and he's sick after eating too many cookies. Mari softly rubs his back as he throws up into the toilet bowl.

Sunny is nine - eleven - four - ten - three - and Mari is always there.

Sunny opens his mouth. Looks at his beautiful older sister, the curve of her eyelashes, the wetness of tears staining her cheeks.

Alive, and bursting with love for him he does not deserve.

And Sunny speaks.