This is the first draft of the car ride conversation, for the parts that say <something> I couldn’t think of anything good for them. Just email me back any additions or amendments that you see fit


Characters: Danny, Derek & David. Interior car, driving, night time

Danny is driving, Derek is in the passenger seat and David is sprawled out across the back seat.


David: Ok how about this, who would you rather have as your best man to your wedding; your best friend or a teenage mutant ninja turtle.

Derek: umm, my best friend at the time or the one I have right now?

*Danny smiles*

David: Right now

Derek:……which Turtle can I have?

David: Anyone you want

Derek: Oh cool, I’d have Michelangelo as my best man.

Danny: What?

Derek: Would he have to bring the rat?

David: Obviously

Derek: Which side would he be on?

Danny: Yours

Derek: Why?

David: Cos you’re a rat

Derek: Cheers

*Few seconds silence*

Derek: I guess I could put him on the aisle next to Aunty Linda, she’s pretty much blind.

Danny: Look stop now this is retarded/ you guys are so retarded

David: We’re retarded? You’re the one who’s stealing a birthday present back from your ex-girlfriend.

Danny: I worked hard to buy her that Ipod touch and she changes her relationship status to single the next day and then tells me we’re broken up without any warning or reason.

David:……what were her political views.

Danny: Jonas brothers.

David: Classic

Derek: Wait, so you came along to break into a house without knowing why?

David:<something>

*car pulls over*
As they exit the car

Derek: Why am I here though?

Danny: Cos I helped you with <something>

Derek: Ok, but then why’s David here?

David: Cos I’m the expert.

Throws a smoke bomb

Danny: How many did you have?

David: That was it

Danny: <something>



"i dunno, its just like, derek, first time you ever brought her out, i just knew like, fuck, some day im totally gonna have to burgal her"

"what the fuck?"

"well i was right wasnt i!?

"fantastic, any other tricks up your sleeve!?"
*dave pulls a bouquet of roses from his sleeve and smiles enthusiasticly*


03:21
i think he should smack the flowers out of his hand and leave it at that

simple but tried and true

i have the idea of him doing that and it turning into a dove but its too hard to do

tre difficult
at this point

we already have 2 magic tricks

oh he smacks it and it explodes like a smoke bomb
"shit theres the other one"

"oh cool theyv got a cat, look watch this they love when i tickle their noses.....ooh he just loves that"
"your touching his anus"


"dude ive seen her new boyfriend, lemme tell ya, theres stepping down, then theres taking a dive....
then theres going out with a fat dude, which is what shes doing"