It's all good. I wanted to chit chat with you on TS to kinda help a little through the communication issues we might have had. I'm not the greatest when it comes to putting my thoughts or feelings into words and I kinda wanted do it via voice so that tone was also part of it. I feel that I might have come off as dismissive or had the attitude "I don't care",  which I wanted to say was unintentional if that's how it was perceived. I want to apologize for that as it is totally on me. I'm not upset at you at all, I'm just a little flustered with the situation at the moment because of a combination of factors; my word choice and grammatical issues led to communication problems, and I had the wrong mindset before our conversation about the incident that I felt might have compounded together, which I'll talk about a little bit in the following paragraph(s).

I want to start again from the top to better clarify what was going through my head and what actions I took to see what I could learn from the situation/incident. Hopefully that will help my self-improvement and cement the lessons I have learned in the past few days. Anyways to jump into it, I have to be honest that I was of the opinion that the incident with the black hawk was an isolated case. I thought it was something we had seen quite a few different times with either tanks flying across maps, trucks exploding by colliding with another object wrong, etc. The standard reaction in session if something like that happens is to simply have the individuals involved with the incident rejoin and get back into the game, which is what we did. Of course we don't want situations like that to happen and I still feel bad about it happening, because it was on my watch and is ultimately my responsibility. So we all rejoined the mission, got back on our helicopter and hustled back to the AO to continue as if it never happened. This is where I was wrong in my mindset and I've learned a lesson in talking with others; I need to be investigating *every* incident that happens regardless what it might have seemed, because there is always something to be learned from it. It was actually after this incident as well I took the personal initiative and barred myself from any aircraft roles in session to spend some time practicing outside, because I realized I was not able to achieve what is required of pilots during sessions.

With the start of the conversation between us and you asking your opening questions it did get the fuse lit for me to dig deeper into the incident and we proceeded to dissect it. I was open minded and inquisitive to see what the cause of the situation was and how it could be avoided in the future. The ball started to roll with the video of the approach and landing. I was then able to get Daishi to help with assessing the situation from another set of eyes from inside of the game. This is where we gathered some imagery in both stills and video to show how what I did was drastically incorrect. I did an immediate and complete 180 with my opinion after that. It was my fault; I had too high of a pitch angle, with the combination of downward velocity, and the dampened perception from the cockpit led to the incident. This was due to my ignorance of the unique characteristics of that air frame, which I failed to pick up on in practice.

So this is where I was at the last time we talked about it; I failed to communicate the rest of my findings with you and I want to apologize about that, because reading back I can definitely see how it could have seemed I was trying to absolve blame for the incident, especially with how our conversation started. I want to say in the most non-arrogant way possible, that I am not trying to deflect blame or avoid apologizing due to some egotistical reason. It is not healthy for me to do as I feel better learning and growing as an individual to better myself in the future. If I did wrong or wronged somebody, I am more than willing to own my mistakes and or apologize for my wrong-doings. Before this I was trying to do the right thing with communicating to others about incidents or problems I ran into during sessions. I've often done this in PMs or in TS with the other pilots or FACs that were involved to see if there was anything we could have learned or reflected upon. Not too long ago before this I actually had a situation where I ran into a few problems, was at a loss for what I could have done differently, and posed a conversation in the #arma-flying channel, and got no response. The next day I went to the other pilots and asked for their feedback, and we reflected together what we could have done differently as a whole. I'm going to try to avoid doing this in the future and keep the conversation in the flying channel to see if there could be any other pilots that could offer feedback.

So to conclude, I hope that this better helps explain some stuff, shows that I do care, and I'm trying to do the right thing. I do appreciate the help and the feedback, I do realize I have a lot to learn still, and I'm looking at trying to be a good team member into the future.