Impressions Bit

Here is my impression of a guy who thinks he knows a lot of movie trivia, but is actually incorrect most of the time.

“Jennifer Lawrence? I think she’s great. I love her as Rosebud in Citizen Kane. The makeup is incredible. I didn’t even know it was her until about halfway into the movie. Did you know that they shot that entire movie at a roller disco in Antarctica? It was actually Judd Apatow’s first shot at directing. Yeah, he didn’t even have a director’s chair yet; he had to sit on Seth Rogen’s back. Hey, do you mind if I borrow some PCP? No? That’s cool; I’m going to go watch the third Godfather movie. It’s way better than the first one.”


Here’s my impression of a mute gynecologist who is trying to explain to a patient that her vagina turned into a pterodactyl and flew to Arkansas, and then my impression of the patient totally not catching the hint. (Mimes a vagina flying and growling and then going to sleep) (In lady voice) Yes! Of course I’ll marry you, you big goof! I should warn you; and this is going to sound weird, but earlier today it felt like my vagina transfigured into a dinosaur and flew away. What was that? Yeah I know I could just shorten it to vaginasaur, but don’t you think that sounds a little misleading in a Gynecologist office? It sounds like I’m saying I have a sore on my vagina, but in fact my vagina is a dinosaur. What was that? No! You can’t borrow any PCP; I’m running really low this week.


Here’s my impression of someone selling PCP. “PCP! PCP over here; come and get it!  It helps with everything from movie trivia to vaginasaurs. No not like a vagina dinosaur; I mean like herpes. PCP for sale! That’s right! Pork chop patties! Come get your fresh pork chop patties! Every purchase comes with a bag of crack-cocaine, free of charge. Oh, you’ll be back, my pretties. You’ll be back.”



And lastly, this is an impression of me doing my last impression for the night:

And lastly, here is my impression of a cat finding a dead body, “Meow.”