ScoutAnon

>”You want to do what?”
>Waving your hands at Twilight you explain, slower this time.
“I want to start a boy, er colt scout troop for here in Ponyville.”
>Twilight looks from you then to her book she was reading deep in thought, when you think you have to explain it again Twilight grins nice and wide.
>”Oh Anon! I’m so glad you’re willing to form connections with Ponyville now!”
>Eh?
“Is this because you’ve been trying to make friends for me and I just don’t want to?”
>Twilight shakes her head, “No no no, nothing like that at all, ahaha, learned that lesson from Glimmer…”
“What was that last bit?”
>”Nothing! So you just needed my approval to start a scout troop?”
>Nodding you bring over the required documents.
“Yep, Mayor Mare wouldn’t approve of it unless I talked with you first.”
>”Hm…” Reading over the paper Twilight scans over the document, “So you’re going to be teaching ‘basic camping skills’? Like what?”
“Basic stuff, like how to start a fire, how to cook with a select few ingredients, making sure that your camp is nice and orderly like.”
>Twilight nods her head to you and lets out a giggle, “Oh Anon this is amazing, a few weeks ago you were angry at everything, it’s so nice to see you wanting to do something constructive!”
>Just sign the damn paper purple.
“Well, figured I’d just move on with my life, why not teaching what I know to the little colts and fillies out there.”
>Taking a quill and dipping it in ink Twilight twirls her signature across the bottom of the scroll, “Are you going to have it be a mixed class or colts only?”
“Was thinking of doing it mixed, but if you think I could just make it one gender ifn’ you want.”
>Twilight uses the end of her quill to rub against her chin lost in thought, “Well...it would help break the ice for some of the more nervous fillies out there...Oh, there might be a host of new friendships just waiting to be born that way, I think you should Anon!”
>Bowing low to Twilight you reply in a faux sophisticated voice.
“As the Princess commands, so it is my desire!”
>”Anon, don’t be a tease.” Twilight says flapping a wing at you making your hair flip up from the gust.
“Alright I’ll go ahead and send out the fliers around town then, see ya later!”
>Twilight waves you off as you get to brass tacks, you got a scout troop to assemble!

>Standing in front of the troopers you smile happily, using Twilight as brand name recognition was a great idea!
>Looks like the entire class from Ponyville is here, you’re going to go over the names once you get settled in but for now…
“Welcome Troopers to the Ponyville Scouts! Today is going to be a let’s get to know you session before we start everything, well more I get to know you since you seem to all know each other already.”
>The fillies and colts soon start to form their own normal cliques settling in to listen.
“Right, so who here got an idea of how to survive in the wild?”
>A yellow hoof raises in the air drawing your attention, the trademark bow catches your eye and you call her out.
“Applebloom?”
>”I know how ta camp with mah sister and her friends, Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo came with us too.”
“Mmm, that’s good, now I have a question did you bring with you a bunch of camping gear?”
>Sweetie Bell takes the moment to add, “Yeah, so much stuff, Rarity really needs to not bring so much stuff.”
“And that is the main difference between camping and survival in the wilderness!”
>Jumping at the raised voice you tone it down a bit, pointing at a orange filly with a white mane you call her out.
“Sunny Daze, you’re lost in the woods with no food or water, what’s the first thing you should find first?”
>The sun themed filly looks around nervvously stammering, “Uh, I um, w-water?”
>Your finger that had been pointing at her slowly turns into a thumbs up.
“Good, very good, now gather round little fillies and colts, cuz here’s a good first lesson; you can last for quite a while without food, without water? Well I’d give you an average of three days afore you’d be needing the cryptkeeper.”
>Seeing Snips and Snails holding each other in fear you dial it back, again, jeez even mention death and these kids freak out, kid gloves Anon, Kid gloves.
>Giving a smile you crouch down to be eye level with the kiddies.
“Now, that’s why we’re here today, to learn about what to do and what not to do in a survival setting.”
>”Pfft, I don’t even see why my daddy has me going to this, I’d just have rescue ponies come to save me.”
>Looking over you see the glinting tiara of none other than Diamond Tiara whose forelegs are crossed and looking quite vexed, “It not like a colt’s gonna know what to do in the woods anyway…”
“Well Sweet Cheeks,”
>”My name is Diamond Tiara!”
“I happen to not be a colt, or a stallion, instead I’m a man, so maybe you could give it a try before jumping ship?”
>”Why should I?”
>Walking over and crouching to her level you smile again.
“Imagine that you were on your way to Manehatten, but on the road you had fallen off a cliff side, you slide down into a gully luckily alive, however unluckily you are stuck unable to escape from the gully because it is to steep for you to escape.”
>Bringing your hands together with a clap you see Diamond jump.
“Now imagine that not long after a thunderstorm hits and drenches you to the bone, even if the rescue ponies were to be sent out they wouldn’t be able to find you right away. They’d have to wait for the storm to pass, then try to find you in a small gully that only has a small amount of sky.”
>Leaning in close you speak softly.
“You might be able to last for five days of no water, but for some ponies, they can only go a day without water before they die. Or you could perish from exposure, or from the cold as you sit in the gully shivering from your wet fur.”
>Diamon’s eyes start to well up with tears but they do not fall as you invade her personal space.
“So maybe, just maybe, you could listen for a bit before mouthing off eh?”
>Shaking Diamond nods and gulps as you lean back all sunshine and smiles.
“Excellent! Now then, what I want everyone here to understand that this is a survival course, we’re going to learn how to make a living in the woods until someone rescues us or pending that lasting till we can signal someone”


>You are Diamond Tiara.
>That...that bucking stallion just…
>Why are you so heated?!
>He just got in your face and just…
>You only feel like this after looking at that play colt Mom had left laying out!
>Silver Spoon touches your shoulder, “Diamond? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine!”
>You shake yourself and ignore the fluttery feeling in your tummy.

>Being Anon once again you, clap your hands together to draw their attention you take a seat in the park with the troopers.
>A small filly with a light blue coat and lavender mane raises her hoof, “U-um Mister Anon? Wh-what do we do then?”
“Glad you asked, first thing to realize is that you all have to take a moment to take stock of your surroundings, a lot of people run into trouble by not taking care of what they see, Pipsqueak, tell me what you see around you?”
>The small british colt looks around eyes darting left and right before he starts to answer, “Uh, I see the playground, the trees over by White Tail woods, the school house over there...That’s everything isn’t it?”
“Very good, now since we’re in a safe spot near civilization that works quite well, you know your land marks and know where home is. Now later we’re going to go into White Tail to get a more live experience.”
>”Mister Anon?” Sweetie Bell asks raising her hoof, nodding at her to continue the filly asks, “When are we going to start doing survival stuff?”
“Soon, now, there is something very important you all need to understand, not only do you need to keep calm and optimistic, you need to also need to know how to deal with medical emergencies, and what to do when certain situations pop up.”
>Scootaloo buzzes up to sit closer, “Like what?”
“Well could I get a volunteer?”
>Not many ponies are raising their hooves when you spot a small violet hoof pop up, “I’ll do it.”
“Thank you miss…?”
>”Lilly Longsocks…”
“Thank you Lilly, now the medical bits that you lot need to remember is that three minutes is how long a person can usually last without air due to blockage of the throat. Lilly c’mere please?”
>Holding the filly up you show your hand curled into a fist and your other holding atop of it.
>This filly is awfully warm for some reason…

>Be Lilly Longsocks and you are so lucky right now!
>Everypony here was too scared to get close to the hot alien, but you screwed up your courage and raised a hoof up high and now he’s touching you!
>Oh it’s like a hug…
>Blushing you clamp your tail down tight.
>He’s saying something or another an-
>Suddenly his hug tightens and you nearly lose your breath!
>”...Just continue to push until the obstruction is removed, remember fillies and colts this could save someone’s life!”

>Letting Lilly go, you give her a quick pat on the bottom to return to her seat.
“Off ya get now.”
>For some odd reason that filly was blushing alot, when she returned to her friends they all whispered before squeeing can be heard from them.
>Weird.

“Right. Now that we’ve covered the mental bits. It’s time to start with something somewhat fun!”
>Seeing the interested looks of the colts and fillies you stand up starting to walk towards White Tail Woods.
“Follow me troops it’s time to learn some fire making skills!”
>Sweetie Bell looks excited as she jumps into view, “Mister Anon! Mister Anon! I can make a fire, just give me a cartoon of juice and a glass!”
“Really now?”
>Scootaloo and Applebloom rush to her side clamping their hooves on the over excited unicorn, “Now Mista Anon ya don’t wanna let her do that, really it’s a bad idea all around!” Applebloom says with sweat building on her forehead.
>”Yeah, uh, why don’t you show us your way first?” Scootaloo asks, “I bet a colt can do it loads better anyway!”
“And what exactly does that mean lil’ bird horse?”
>With the eyes of the troop on her Scootaloo back tracks, “Uh, duh, I was just saying your the scout leader so you know what to do?”
>Chuckling you pet her on the head with an ear scratch.
“Nice save kid, now then let’s make some tracks I wanna get in the heart of the woods before too long!”
>Hearing cheers from the troopers makes your heart warm up with pride, it will be all the more fun to crush that cheer when the practical test comes around…

>Standing off of the beaten path and in the midst of the woods you clap your hands together.
“Now then fillies and colts, head count we all here?”
>Some shuffling and sorting later reveals that all are present and accounted for.
“Great! Now we’re going to be starting with one of the basic necessities that you will need for alot of your outdoor survival to do lists; the fire. Anyone aside from Sweetie Bell have any experiance with fire?”
>Snips raises his hoof in the air first waving it frantically, pointing at him he smiles  saying, “It’s hot.”
“...and?”
>”OH! And it can spread really fast! Especially when you add magic to it!”
“Close enough to what I wanted to get to. Fire safety. Now fire can be helpful, but it’s a dangerous beastie so you have to treat it with respect.”
>Spreading your hands out as if to warm them you continue.
“Where you once thought there was something there to keep you dry and safe from any critters,”
>POP!
>The troopers flinch at the sudden noise.
“Can become a wild flame that will leave nothing but bones!”
>Dragging your foot in the forest floor you clear away enough for the dirt to revealed.
“First if you’re able to do it proper like, you can clear away a spot so the flames don’t catch on anything. After that, hey Pinchy right?”
>The ruby colored filly blinks at you before nodding.
“Bring over some of those rocks you're standing next to will ya?”
>The little filly soon kicks over the rocks and you begin to make a circle of them.
>”What’s the rocks for?” Rumble asks fluttering overhead to look.
>”It’s to make sure the fire don’t escape!” Applebloom answers before you watching with interest.
“That it is, now do you all know what types of wood you need to start a fire from scratch?”
>”But...why would we need to do that? Some of us can just use magic right?” Pinchy asks looking a bit lost at the circle of stones.
“That’s right, you can, but from what I remember a lot of ponies don’t branch out with their magic right?”
>Seeing Pinchy nod you smile at her to help cheer her up.
“Well this is also for those of us who don’t have the gift of magic, or just don’t plain know lil one.”
>”Oh…”
>Applebloom takes center stage again as she answers your question, “Well there’s oak, popular, maple trees, apple trees of course, a-”
“Now, now not what I meant.”
>”Well what do you mean?” Pipsqueak asks edging in.
“Well, you have tinder, kindling, sticks then logs. Each one you have to build up with your flame. It’s best if you have all your stuff ready to go before you start a fire. So in that case I want everyone to spread out from here, but keep the path nearby within eye sight. I don’t want to explain to your parents you got gobbled up by timber wolves.”
>”Those only live in the Everfree though!” Protests Sunny Daze looking around with a frightful look.
“You never know, but remember keep in sight. What you all are looking for are sticks about the thickness of pencil, for kindling small than that and for tinder really fine wood shavings, leaves anything that catches easy.”
>Hearing the small cheers of the fillies and colts you get a smile on your face before wandering around with the class to help them and observe.
>That’s odd…
>Most of the colts are just walking around chatting while the fillies continue to look for firewood.
>Coming up behind Rumble and Pipsqueak, you hear Rumble mutter, “-see why all the fillies are acting like he’s some model from play colt, he’s like three times his size!”
>Walking slower you catch Pipsqueaks response, “Well he does have an exotic look to him.”
>”Oh shut it, you just say that cuz you had Princess Luna eating out of your hoof that /one/ time.”
>”Hey, if you got strut it.”
>Stepping deliberately on a branch you watch as the two colts whirl about to look at you.
>”Oh! H-hi Mister Anon, lovely weather we’re having r-right Pipsqueak?” Rumble asks nudging his friend.
>”Yeah totally, uh, this is a pretty great hike and all!”
“Neat. So what have you two found so far?”
>”Uh…” Rumble looks around eyes dilated trying to bail before he dips down and bites a stick the length of your arm up, “Furewud?”
>He looks like a tiny dog with a stick the size of his body in his mouth.
>Holding your laughter in you reach out for the stick.
“Mm..this’d make for good wittlin’ wood, but first let’s break it down to size yeah?”
>Before the duo could respond you start to snap the branch into more manageable pieces.

>Be Rumble the slightly nauseated.
>Dear Celestia he’s just breaking those branches like it’s nothing!
>Your wings just ache thinking about what he’d do to your wings if he had them in his hands.
>Why is this mother bucker so huge?!
>You saw the way Lily was acting in his hoof spiders.
>Those dangly things were just all over her!
>It makes you so mad that this...big monkey just struts himself in those clothes all the time and draw attention from you and the boys!
>No, calm down Rumble.
>Remember what big bro Thunderlane said, “If they give ya a fit, you just gotta grit!”
>You think your brother has brain damage sometimes, might be all that hair spray he uses.
>Not like you, you use gel that stuff lasts forever!
>”-able, Rumble? Rumble you in there?”
“Uh, what? Yeah!”
>Anon the jerk, just stares at you before tucking the bundle of sticks he made under his arm, “Right. Well keep lookin guys, can’t let the girls show us guys up right?”
>Look at him acting like he’s one of the guys, he totally isn’t!
>Pipsqueak answers quickly enough, “Yep! More firewood and stuff!’

>Be Anon once more, and you might have given unclear directions.
>Sorting through the piles of wood before you, you start to pick out some of the slender twigs.
>”Did we get enough?” Silver Spoon asks, “Carrying those nasty logs was tiring!”
>”Oh mare up Silver Spoon, a little work never harm no pony.” Applebloom answers quick as a whip.
>Sensing a fight brewing you answer them both.
“I’ve got plenty of wood girls, thank you.”
>Not noticing the blush run through the fillies in the class you continue pulling out a knife.
>Hearing a gasp you turn to see Truffle Shuffle staring at your knife, “You have a knife? I thought stallions weren’t allowed them!”
>Fatponysaywhat?
“Why wouldn’t I? You need it for so much stuff out here.”
>”But Anon, Rarity says that mares should be the one whose handles the knives! Colts could get hurt!”
>...
>Fuck this gay Equestria.
>Sinking your blade back into the sheath you take a seat in the dirt and pat your lap.
“Alright everyone gather round this is going to be a long chat, I can tell.”
>Soon enough the troop is assembled before you and in some cases against you as you eye Scootaloo and Sunny Daze.
>Shrugging you take a deep breath.
“Right, let me tell you something fillies and colts, the idea that a stallion or a guy of the male gender is unable to do anything by himself is rather silly.”
>Holding up a hand at the many mouths that start to argue you plow on.
“To begin with, the idea that a stallion can’t use a knife is baffling, how many of your dad’s all work in the kitchen or cook for the family? Raise your hooves now.””
>Seeing a majority of the hooves in the air you nod.
“Right how are they going to cook if they can’t use the knives to prepare the food?”
>Quite a few fillies and colts look baffled by this, until one of the fillies Peachy Pie speaks up, “They have to use knives don’t they?”
>Finally progress!
“That’s right, what society wants and what actually happens my little troopers are usually two different things, now I will be straight with you. I am going to teach you, I am going to push you hard, I am going to make you the best you can be, but only. Only if you let me.”
>Smiling at the mini ponies you spread your hands wide.
“So, what’ll it’ll be?”
>For a few long moments you think some of them are going to just leave, but then, “Yeah! I’m tired of being told to give up my video games because they aren’t stallion enough! I say we do it!”
>Like a flame, the feeling of agreement spreads.
>”This is kinda exciting.”
>”I wanna build a fire!”
>Hearing the small crowd get excited you feel your heart soar, this is why you wanted to start a scout troop.
>If you want society to change, you have to change it by the roots.
>What better way than through the youth?

>Grabbing your knife out you smile at the foals about you.
“Well then who is ready to make a fire?”
>A series of cheers ring out before the kids spread out in a circle around you edging in to watch.
>Planting the knife in one of the logs you grab one of the more managleable wood pieces.
“Well since we don’t really have much tinder. You can use your knife like so and start to shave off parts of the wood on one of your bigger chunks.”
>Drawing the wood along the grain of the knife you soon start to collect wood shavings into a small bundle.
“Now, at this point you make a small bird’s nest out of the tinder and set it aside.”
>Grabbing one of your thicker pieces you set it down in the soon to be fire pit.
>Diamond Tiara interupts your lesson, “So what things can you find in nature if you don’t have a knife, for tinder I mean?”
“Oh, dried leaves, dead grass, really easy to catch stuff you know? If you find an abandoned bird’s nest that’d be a ready made tinder bundle right there.”
>Setting the nest of tinder against the thicker wood piece you start to make a small stack of kindling against the larger block making a small lean to over the tinder pile while leaving a hole in the kindling.
>Pipsqueak at this point asks a question you can see on everyone’s face, “How do you light the fire then? Do you have matches?”


>Shaking your head you use your knife and start to carve out a small hole in the one of the wooden pieces.
“Nope little british horse, instead we’re going to light it with two methods, one’s a bit easier than the other, but darn if it ain’t exhausting.”
>”What like magic?” Scootaloo asks looking for the telltale glow of magic.
“Nope, just the magic of science!”
>Finding one of the curved branches you hold it up against your arm, finding it to be the right size you continue your minilecture.
“The easier method of friction fire starting is called a draw bow, you need a curved stick that’s about the length of your arm or so. Then you find string, hopefully you have some on you or if you need to find something in nature you can use strands of plant fibers woven together to make the string.”
>Pulling a shoestring from your pocket you start to tie it on the ends of your stick.
“For the lesson I’m cheating a bit because you don’t need to know how to weave rope till later, basics first.”
>Applebloom notices how limp the string looks and prods it with a hoof, “Hey Anon, how come it’s all loose and stuff?”
>Grabbing a pencil thick stick you loop the string around the stick and wiggle it at Applebloom.



“So I can hold it like so, now after you make the hole in your wooden plank or so, you need to find a spindle.”
>”This looks really complicated…” Pinchy says looking a bit lost.
“Don’t worry, it’s really simple once we get started, I’m just letting yall know what whats.”
>Taking your knife you untie your drill stick and begin to sharpen both ends into a point.
“What we want to do is generate enough heat until we make a coal and then add it to the tinder, at that point the coal will catch on fire.”
>A chorus of oh’s and understanding comes across the troop.
>You let out an internal sigh of relief, you thought you lost some of them there for a bit.
“The problem with this method is that you just have to keep a consistant pressure and speed for the friction to work. Now you use the spindle which is just a handle with a hole in it for the drill, and tie the drill in place…”
>Doing just that you hold the drill in place over the hole and place the spindle in place.
“At this point you just have to drill until you get smoke.”

>Putting action to words you spend a few minutes running the bow over the drill twisting it while using your foot to hold the wood plank in place.
>Panting from the work you feel a light sweat to form before you hear a gasp from Peachy Pie, “Look!”
>Small wisps of smoke begins to waft up from the hole!
>Stopping you grin before taking your knife to cut a small divet in the side of the wood, “Why you doing that Anon?” Featherweight asks tilting his head to the side.
“It’s so you can get the coal out and retain the heat too, now we keep at it a bit longer…”
>Going back to the grind you continue to draw the bow back and forth.
>Smoke begins to grow again from the wood.
>Stopping the drill you bring the wood up to your mouth and blow gently on it seeing the red ember flare up in the wood.
>Quickly moving to the fire pit you tilt the wood plank and scoop the coal out into the tinder nest.
>Crouching down you blow gently upon the coal watching as the tinder quickly bursts into flames!

>”Holy smokes! How is that not magic?!” Pinchy asks getting too close to the fire and receiving a face full of smoke.
>Drawing her back you pat her back to help her clear her lungs.
“Careful now, smoke inhalation isn’t a joke, and it’s science Pinchy relax.”
>”S-sorr-ack! Sorry Anon…” Pinchy coughs around her hoof wiping at her eyes.
>Sweetie Bell decides to help taking a deep breath before blowing on the flames making it flare up and burst the kindling into flame!
“Whoa there, add some more fuel to it before it goes out!”
>Seeing at least three hooves start to toss wood on the small flame you quickly reach in and slow them down.
“Not too much, you’ll snuff the flames out, you need to let it breath. It’s a very fragile thing right now.”
>Picking out a few pieces of wood from each you add it to the flame before grabbing some of the thicker pieces to add.
>Soon enough a cheery little campfire is crackling away before you all.
“Tada!~”
>A chorus of clopping ponies is your answer before you wave them down.
“Alright, alright now does anyone here know why I set the fuel the way I did?”


>Applebloom raises her hoof again, nodding at her she answers, “It’s cuz it needs more ox-e-gen right?”
“Oxygen, yep! Think of a flame as a newborn foal, it needs constant attention and if you don’t pay attention to it, it will get you into trouble. So be careful with it.”
>Deciding to lighten the rather serious mood you add in, “Don’t need your parents yelling at me for burning your houses down after all.”
>A few weak chuckles is your response and you soon take a seat to enjoy the rather warm fire against the chilling of the evening.
“Gather round little ponies, for now I think we’ll go over a few more tidbits of fire safety then wrap it up, sun’s already starting to go down.”
>Hearing a chorus of disappointment you frown at hearing such an unpleasant sound.
>Damn these children and their adorableness!
“Hey now, calm down we’ll still have tomorrow for more survival training after all!”
>Looking left and right as if for the ponice, not that you give a fuck. Ponice are equipped with pillows and foam noodles for god’s sake, you lean close to the foals and whisper.
“I might even bring s'mores for the class if you all can make a fire on your own.”


>Judging from the starry eyed gazes you know you’re going to need to buy so many sweets, Sugarcube Corner just got a new customer it looks like.
“Now for fire safety you want to have a source of water nearby in case of any stray embers. Another thing is that if you don’t have water you will want to snuff the flames out. The first is safer, while the second is more dangerous espically for you little ponies as you don’t have protective foot wear like I do.”
>”So what are we supposed to do then?” A colt asks with a little propeller beanie asks.
“If you have a blanket or something thick you can smother the flames, you just need to cut off the oxygen to it and it will go out, it be better if you had dirt or sand to put it out.”
>Pointing at the embers as they dance in the night air you look to the foals.
“Forest fires can be started by something as small as that just by landing in a bit of dried grass, the most dangerous time for that would be during summer when the sun has dried everything out. Fall is about the same as everything dries out for winter.
>”Don’t it rain all the time in fall though?” Rumble asks with a small scrunch to his snout.
“Normally yes, but sometimes the weather can be a bit weird and not rain for a while only get cold.”
>Standing up you stretch and watch as the sun begins to sink.
>Nodding you turn back to the fire and point at it.
“Alright my little ponies, what would be the best way to put out the fire right now?”
>”We could put it out with some dirt!” Scootaloo cries out scooping up a hooful of dirt throwing it on the fire.
>The flames sputters, but continues to burn.
>”Wha- hey why didn’t it go out?”
>”Well obviously you need more dirt!” Diamond Tiara says before looking at Lily, “Lily could you?”
>Nodding the longsocked named filly reaches down and scoops up a ridiclously huge amount of dirt before plopping it down on the flames.
>You simply stare at Lily which causes her to blush at the stare.
>That little filly is going to make some colt really regret trying to pressure her into prom sex.
>Keeping that thought to yourself you clap your hands together.
“Very good girls, now then let’s get yall home afore the parentals come to mob me.”
>Leading the fillies and colts out the woods you take notice how the sun is soon painting the sky with its purples and pinkish hues.

>Be at home enjoying yourself to some nice smooth jazz from the record player you got as a gift.
>Man you’d of thought that using such antiques would be a pain, but with a small glass of drink, a large comforter, your favorite chair and the rich baritone of some stallion you don’t know.
>You’re pretty damn comfy.
>You had managed to herd, hah horse puns you /can/ do it too Equestria fuck off, all of the fillies and colts to their homes.
>A few of the mares gave you grudging nods of respect after they had been told about how to react in a survival situation.
>Though a few of the dad’s kept giving you the death stare even as they smiled and talked with their children.
>Meh, if horse dads can’t handle it, tough shit for them.
>Taking a sip of your drink you look over your study plans for the next lesson with the scouts.
>You’ve already covered keeping a cool head, starting a fire and fire safety, should probably have them try making their own campfires.
>Can’t go promising kids sweets wi-
>Knock. Knock!
>Looking up you frown from your comfy spot and stand up.
>Setting your drink aside you make for the door where angry knocking continues
>Opening the door you see a large pegasis with a blue swept mane, wait that is…
“Thunderlane?”

>Noticing the wisps of smoke coming from the stallions mane you lean out of your door to look closer.
“Hey, uh, Thunder you look a bit smoky, what happened man?”
>Thunderlane scrunches at you before stomping a hoof on the ground, “What happened is that you and your dumb lessons nearly burnt our house down!”
“What?! How?”
>Knickering in anger Thunderlane flaps up to eye level with you, “Well somepony had taught my little brother how to start a fire and next thing you know there is fire everywhere!”
“I taught them fire safety and only showed him how to make  a fire once, how is that my fault?!”
>”Because where else would he learn it from using sticks?!”
“Look, I’m sorry ab- wait don’t you guys live in a cloud? How the fuck did that catch on fire?!”
>Thunderlane simply points towards a column of smoke in the air.
>Squinting at the mess you widen your eyes at seeing the small house with definite scorch marks on the outside walls.
>”You tell me, that fire didn’t go out with just a couple of rain showers for one!”
“OK, ok look, I’ll go over fire safety again and stress it, but I don’t see how this is my fault for teaching how to make a fire when it’s necessary.”
>*Anger BirdHorse Noise*
“Well if you’re going to be like that, why not keep Rumble from my class if you’re going to be so mad about it!”
>”Maybe I will!” Thunderlane sneaks a glance at your bird bath since you’re unfazed by loosing a scout. “And I’ll use your bath to clean up too. You owe me that at least!”
“What? No!”
>Before you can grab the annoying pony he is already flying towards your bird bath.
>Chasing after him you have to hop the fence, giving him the time to already make a mess in your bird bath!
“Get out of there!”
>Ducking his head under the small pool of water Thunderlane shakes his head to throw away the water and tell you no.
>By the time he starts to clean his wings you reach him, only for the ass to just throw your bird bath water in your face!
“Fucking. I’m going to kick your ass!”
>”Have to catch me first!” Thunderlane says hovering above you out of reach.
“Oh really?”
>Seeing the smug look of superiority on the bird pone you head back into the house.

>Hovering in the air you watch Anon trump back into the house.
>Huffing in satisfaction you land on the pegasis bath and perch on the edge.
>Shows that self centered stallion what's what.
>Cleaning yourself aggressively you grumble to yourself.
“Stupid bucking Anon and his dumb survival lessons.”
>Celestia if you had known that Anon was going to just teach Rumble how to burn the house down you could have let him just get that video game he was buzzing about a few weeks ago.
>Finishing with one wing you start on the other before hearing the door slam open.
>Anon’s standing in the doorway holding some y shaped sti-
>YEOUCH!
>Chirping in alarm you look around frantically for the bee that stung you on your side.
>The tarturus was that?!
>”Get off my birdbath!”
“Anon not now! You have a bee loose in here!”
>Before you can chide him on improper lawn care you feel another sting on your withers!
>Neighing in alarm you take off into the sky squinting in the low light to find that darn bee!
“Anon, seriously you should look for that hive before you get s-OW!”
>Anon is outside now still holding that odd stick, “I’m the one stinging you, you idiot, now git afore I shoot you down!”
“Yeah rig- OW! Stop that!”
>Anon just shrugs after letting go of that infernal device of his before bending over, “Okay, I’ll just work on my beating my duck hunter high score.”
>What does he mean by-Daughter of a Bitch!
>Feeling quite a few stings on your body you scrunch so hard telling Anon off.
>”Keep scrunching, makes for a good target!”
>Neighing in alarm you take off for home, but not before you feel another sting on your butt!
>Stupid Anon!

>Be Applebloom of the Apple clan.
>You got to show off to Applejack and Big Mac how you could start a fire without a flint stick!
>Applejack gave you a pat on the head saying it was cool.
>Though you think she said something about colts needing to not worry about things like that
>Big Mac just did what he usually did and nod.
>Now it’s morning again and you’re eager to get back with the rest of the scouts.
>”Applebloom hurry up or else you’ll be late!”
>Sour Apples!
>Grabbing your bow you slip it on and gallop down the stairs passing the ktichen.
>”Breakfast!” Applejack calls out to you as you race past.
>You know how Applejack gets when you don’t eat in the morning.
>Spotting the toaster spring up with toast, you combat roll forward and snag the toast by your teeth.
“Thanf Applejac!”
>Running out with the bread in your mouth you just catch Applejack shout of displeasure!
>Yet you keep running eager to get to the school house.
>Who knows what cool things you’ll learn next!

>”Alright kids, due to certain events we’re going over fire safety again.”
>Groaning under your breath you are not alone in your displeasure.
>Anon just waves his hands at you all, “Relax, relax kiddies, it’s still important and everyone needs to know what to do when a fire breaks out.”
>Huffing you look next to your besties Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell who look disappointed as well.
>”So what did you do then Sweetie Bell?” Scootaloo asks looking over at the unicorn filly.
>”What?!” Sweetie Bell asks her voice cracking.
“She has a point, you can make juice catch fire, /juice/ Sweetie Bell.”
>”I didn’t even do anything!” Sweetie Bell protests looking at you both with a hurt look.
“Who else would catch something on fire?”
>”I just did my homework after we had our session.” Sweetie replies frowning at the accusation.
>”Cutie Mark Crusaders! A campfire has a high wind coming by sending the flames out of the safe zone, what do you do?”
>Flick flack.
>”Uh...stand in front of it?” Scootaloo asks in answer wings shuffling nervously.
>Anon keeps his gaze upon your group a small frown on his face.
>Oh Celestia, it’s like Applejack’s stare of disapproval!
>Only a thousand times worse!
“Uh, move something in the way of the wind so it’s not flying out?”
>The frown seems to lighten, but it still pulls at the stallion's face.
>Crap filly, think! Think!
>”You bank the fire, move stones in the way of the wind and if needed use a stick to lower the fuel in the fire.” Sweetie Bell comes in with the save of the day!
>”That’s right, thank you Sweetie Bell.”
>Sweetie Bell grins up at Anon with a happy little wiggle.
>Guess she didn’t accidentally start a fire then.
>Seeing Sweetie Bell look to you with a smug grin you roll your eyes.
“Fine, fine you didn’t start a fire, sorry Sweetie Bell.”
>Scootaloo nods murmuring her own apology.
>Hearing a clap of Anon’s strange hooves you turn to see Anon smiling, “Alright colts and fillies, I think we’re good to go on fire safety now.”
>Walking over to a small pile of wood and sticks Anon starts to pass out the materials.
>”So let’s get some practice work on making a coal for your fires to start, eh?”
>You cheer along with the rest of the class before getting to work.

>This is alot harder than Anon made it look.
>Leaning on the stick you run the bow over and over again.
>You think you saw a speck of smoke!
>Before you can start to investigate you hear a fwump next to you and see Sweetie Bell’s log aflame!
>Sweetie Bell is jumping around with glee at managing to start a fire with a smile on her face.
>Scootaloo looks at her own log and then Sweetie’s attempt before grumbling as she works harder on her own coal.
>You huff before getting to work on your own log when you feel the heat start to get rather uncomfortable, looking up you see the flames have spread!
>Staring at the flame licking up the log you stand there dumbfounded before you hear a squeaky voice shout, “Fire!”
>Suddenly a large dirt clump flies and puts the fire out with a stifled hiss.
>Shaking free from your surprise you turn to where the dirt came from to see Button Mash panting a bit.
>Noticing your stare Button flushs and avoids your eyes, “Sorry, uh, the fire was getting a bit wild.”


>Before you can answer Anon is there, “What’s going on?”
>Sweetie Bell answers with her ears splayed low, “My fire got out of control...I managed to get the log on fire though!”
>Button pipes up then, “I threw dirt on it before it could spread.”
“I didn’t notice it spreading so fast, sorry Anon…”
>Anon hums, “It’s alright, Sweetie Bell keep a closer eye on it alright? Button good job on fire safety. Applebloom?”
>Looking up at the stallion you see him smile a bit making his eyes squint, “Be more aware of your surroundings alright?”
>Why does your chest feel funny?
>Forcing a nod you get back to making your campfire.

>After what feels like hours, you finally have a smoldering coal!
>Tilting the coal into the tinder nearby you quickly blow on it and add more fuel.
>Soon a happy litte campfire is ready before you.
>”Good job Applebloom!” Anon says petting your mane making you lean up into the petting.
>Oh filly sticks that feels good…
>Oh he’s talking, “...why I brought the s’mores!”
>The class cheers at Anon as he starts to pass out the treats for everypony to start making their own smores.
>You remember doing this with Applejack and the others on camping trips!
>Slowly rotating the marshmallow until it reaches a tasty golden brown you start to take it off with your graham cracker when you hear angry neighing.

>Sweetie Bell looks over to the noise, “Hey is that a fight?”
>”Finally some action, come on fillies!” Scootaloo says already buzzing over to the fight.
>Setting your treat down you canter over worried what started a fight.
>Scootaloo jumps up trying to get a glance of what’s going on with the crowd blocking the view, “Dang it, I can’t see…”
>Peering through the grim you soon spot the contenders, it’s Pipsqueak and Rumble fighting!
>Seeing the two battle one another, wrestling and straining those muscles…
>...
>”Should...should we stop them?” Sweetie Bell asks her horn sparking for some reason.
“They're not hurting each other...too much…”
>”Buck that I wanna see some teeth!” Scootaloo says wings upright and leaning forward as she watches.
>You start to say that you shouldn’t be treating colts like hunks of meat cuz Applejack raised you better.
>Before you can however Anon is there once again and reaches into the fight.
>You wince knowing how Twilight flew through the air when you and the girls got into it.
>Yet as if by magic Anon just picks up both Rumble and Pipsqueak by the scruff of their neck.
>Those hoof spiders are so strong!
>That weird feeling in your chest is back again.
>”Alright what’s the problem here?” Anon asks shaking the two struggling colts.
>”He threw marshmallow in my mane!”
>”I didn’t! It just caught fire!”
>”So you threw something on /fire/ at me?!”
>”It was a mistake!”
>Anon raises his eyes to the sky before shaking the two again, “Alright enough you two, Pipsqueak apologize, it was an accident, but it was still pretty bad. Rumble we’ll go and wash your hair.”
>What was that thing Applejack mentioned about colts?
>Something about a mare needing a good strong dependable stallion, like Big Mac, only not your brother.
>Eyeing Anon as he continues to resolve the situation you wonder if you can reserve him for the future…

>After the spat of a fight Anon lets you all enjoy your smores.
“Hey Sweetie Bell?”
>The white filly smacks her mouth with the gooey treat in her maw before noticing you, eyes wide she munches down on her treat.
>Swallowing the lump Sweetie Bell wipes her mouth before answering you , “Yeah? What's up?”
>Your stomach flutters again, you hate talking about your feelings gs like this, feels super filly foolin’
>Buck it, take the plunge!
“Your sisters really good at romancing colts right? Is there anything about, uh, reserving a colt for the future?”
>”What!? Applebloom you can't be telling me your sweet on some colt are you?!” Scoots loo cries out alerting the entire camp to your conversation.
>Face warm you glare at Scootaloo who sheepishly returns a awkward smile, “Hehe...oops…”
>Rolling your eyes you start to talk only for a snide voice to interupt, “What's this? Your trying to bag a colt of your own Apple Shroom?”
>Bucking.
>Diamond.
>Tiara.
>”Well if I was the colt I'd be too emberassed to let her down gently!” Silver Spoon mocks from beside the filly fiddling mare.
>”Hey you two leave her alone! There nothing wrong with wanting to find love!” Sweetie Bell replies back, voice cracking midway through her defense.
>”Not like you two would even know about Love anyway I bet you two have my even kiss a colt!” Scootaloo buzzes to the forefront eager to join in the duel of words.

>Waving at the two fillies you try to avoid a fight.
“Girls! Come on, it ain't worth getting in trouble!”
>Diamond sniffs behind her hoof, “Well at least one of you knows their place, and for your information, I've kissed plenty if colts in my time!”
>Ok, you tried playing nice, but if she wants to throw down then your on it like Big Mac and apple pies!
“What, with your daddy’s money paying them for a kiss? Can a colt even like you without your money?”
>Sweetie and Scoots both look at you and grin as they fall back letting out an ooooh as you smirk at Diamond Tiara’s flushed face.
>”At least I'm not a flat faked filly who can't get no colt!” Diamond shoots back glaring daggers at you.
“Please, have you seen muh sister’s flank? If I get half as much flank as her you'd still be chasing after mah tail!” You reply getting up in Diamonds face
>”Oh yeah? Well I bet…” Diamond Tiara gnaws at her lip thinking before an idea lights her eyes in a cruel gleam, “I bet you can't even get Anon to give you a kiss!”
>Oh fish sticks, why she go and mention him!?

>”Ha! Just a kiss? I bet Applebloom can get him to rub her belly and cuddle with her!” Sweetie Bell taunts.
>Sweetie Bell, staph what are you doing?
>”Bloom can probably even get Anon to motorboat her tuft too!” Scootaloo adds in wings buzzing in excitement
>Nightmare Moons knickers what are they doing?!
>Nudging both of them with your forelegs you try to stop their motor mouths only for Diamond to scoff, “Fine, Applebloom has to get a kiss and belly rubs from Anon or else she’s a kissless filly who's never going to get a colt!”
“What?! No, why should I?”
>Silver Spoon lets out a haughty laugh, “Well what do you know, she is all talk and no flank!”
>That stupid no good mule!
“Fine! By the end of the week I’ll get a kiss from Anon!”
>Diamond leans forward raising her eyebrows, “And…?”
>Feeling your fur redden you face away and huff.
“And belly rubs, jeez when did you two become so lewd?!”
>”Please, if you need some incentive I’ll even throw in twenty bits to boot!” Diamond says holding up her coin sack.
“Deal!” Sweetie Bell says before you can answer making you glare at her.

>Sweetie simply gives you the look of talk later as Diamond sneers, “We’ll see.” With that the duo soon trot away towards their own campfire.
“...Sweetie Bell, Scootaloo! Girls come on, why’d you go and blab like that!?”
>Feeling a wing wrap around your shoulder Scootaloo’s scratchy voice is in your ear, “Relax Bloom, you got apple genes in ya, there ain’t a colt here who would turn ya down!”
>Shrugging off the wing hug you shoot her a glare.
“Cept that Anon’s no colt! Heck does he even have a…”
>Leaning in close you whisper
“Yanno, a willy?”
>”Definitely!” Sweetie Bell says with one hundred percent certainty.
“Wha, how the hay do you know?”
>Sweetie Bell gets a smarmy smirk on her face, “Well a filly’s got her secrets after all.”
>”You peeked on him while he was showering didn’t you?” Scootaloo deadpans at the unicorn.
>Sweetie Bell suddenly turns rose pink as she snaps, “No I didn’t!”
“Pfft, hahaha you did! Oh my Celestia Sweetie Bell! When did you get so thirsty?!”
>”N-no it’s not like that! Rarity said that if you wanted to know a stallion you have to observe them closely!”
>Scootaloo is holding her sides as she giggles, “Yeah, only I don’t think she means peeping on them while they shower.”


>”Girls.”
>Feeling the blood flee from your face you slowly turn your head to look up at the deep voice.
“O-oh h-hey Anon, wh-whats up?”
>Sweetie Bell is blushing still and squeaks out, “We didn’t do nothing!”
>Scootaloo meanwhile just holds her face, “Filly, stop acting like a zigger, Celestia above…”
>The towering form before you uncrosses his arms before he laughs, the things you would do for that laugh, it makes your belly warm for some reason…
>”Don’t worry bout it Scoots, hey we’re getting ready to clean up and heading out. Did you all hear the announcement earlier?”
>Why the hay does Scootaloo get a nick name?!
“W-what announcement?”
>”Well I figured the best way to help train you all in being scouts is a trial run. So we’re all going camping with the basic things, a tent, maybe a canteen or two.”
>”For how long Anon?” Scootaloo asks tilting her head.
>”Eh, was thinking a weekend would be best to start, afterwards we can come back and see what you’ve learned so far.”
“S-Sounds great!”
>”Applebloom, are you feeling alright? You look a bit pale…”
>Anon draws close kneeling down to eye level with you, eyes squinted in concern.
>His scent!
>Why does it smell so good?!
>A mix of musk, pinewood, smoke and charcoal…
>You tense as his big hand comes to rest on your forehead, “Christ you’re burning up, how long have you been sick?”
>Why is everything so hot?
>You can feel your tail twitching as you bite your lip.
“I-I’m fine Anon, j-just a little overheated is all!”
>”The hell you are, c’mere…”
>Feeling yourself lifted up in his big strong arms you still tail slapping wetly against yourself.
>Creakin crickets did you go into heat?!
>You weren’t due for another month!
>Flippin’ flapjacks!
“A-Anon! Lemme down!”
>”No can do lil filly come on, you need to head home. Class break up camp and head home, Pipsqueak make sure to double check your fire.”
>You pass by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon whose mouths hang open at you.
>Even feeling the heat below you manage to smirk at them as you pass by.
>Just make it look like you're in control and you’ll be cruisin’ fine…

>Wiggling into Anon’s arms you try to find a more comfortable position and hide your shame that leaks onto the ground.
>Buuuuck, you really don’t want to explain this to Anon…
>As you walk Anon adjusts his hands on you to wrap you in one arm with his frog on your rump!
>You’re sure that you look as red as one of the apples from the farm now.
“A-Anon, you can let me down!”
>”No way Bloom, your sister would kill me if I made you walk all the way back when your sick.”
>More likely she kill you for making a colt carry you all the way to Sweet Apple Acres.
“Really! It’s fine, you don’t have to go ou-”
>A small boop to your nose stops your arguement and you look past the hoof spider up to Anon’s eyes.
>”Bloom relax, I’m taking you to bed and that’s final.”
>That is so lewd!
>These kinds of things only happen in Big Mac’s picture books!
>...
>NOT THAT YOU WOULD KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT NO MA’AM!


>Hearing the crunch of gravel underneath you look round to see the apple trees in sight.
>The farmhouse is just ahead and Anon is STILL carrying you.
“W-well can you at least let me walk in the house?”
>You can feel Anon sigh underneath you, but you use the secret ability of puppy dog eyes at him!
>It’s unmarely to even use this trick now that your older, but darn it desperate times call for desperate measures!
>Anon jerks and squeezes you tightly, making you fear that it didn’t work!
>Great now he’s going to be mad at you for bein-
>Why is he putting you down?!
>”Fine, just don’t do that eye thing of yours alright?”
>Beaming up at him you nod before clamping your traitor tail down as it tries to wave the flag.
>Trotting inside you call out to the family, “Applejack! BIg Mac! Granny! I’m back!”


>”Applebloom? Isn’t your scout thing still goin’ on?” Comes the hearty voice of your sister from the stairs “Stars and garters Bloom, you could have warned a mare that ya’ll had company over! I’d have made myself decent.”
>Tilting your head at your sister you soon spot what’s making her so nervous.
>”I don’t mind Applejack, you look rather pretty without your ponytail.”
>”Ah, uh...Ah suppose, ahem, what brings you and Bloom over then?” Applejack, one of the marelest mares you know is refusing to look Anon in the eye.
>What in the buck is even going on?
>And why do you feel the need to rub against Anon?
>Shaking off the urges you catch Anon say, “-sick, so I brought her home before it got worse.”
>Applejack kneels down to take a closer look at you before her nose suddenly wrinkles and your blush jumps hosts to your sister.

>”AHahahah! WEll uh, that sure was mighty kind of Anon, you go on ahead and do your Anon things while I take care of Bloom here!”
>”Applejack? Are you alright?”
>Applejack continues to grin wildly as she brings her hoof around you and drags you behind her.
“Hey!”
>A small glare is sent your way before Applejack answers Anon with that too wide smile on her face, “Yep! Fine as peaches even! So you scurry on home while I fix Applebloom up here ya hear?”
>Anon nods his head and starts to walk towards the door only to stop, “Wait, Applejack?”
>Freezing in place Applejack turns her head back, “Yeah?”
>”In all my times since I’ve been here I’ve /never/ heard you use a food metaphor that isn’t apple related...are you getting sick as well?”
>Applejack scrunches hard as she levels another glare at you.
>You just put your hooves up mouthing you didn’t do nothing!
>Through the sisterly bond of apples you can tell Applejack doesn’t believe you for a minute.
>”Applejack?”
>Sighing Applejack responds, “It’s fine Anon, Ah’m not getting sick, just frazzled recently, but it ain’t nothing you’re going to be able to fix.”
>”Are you sure I can’t?”
>Hearing that low rumble makes you cross your legs imagining him holding you down and…
>Fiddle sticks you need more research material, Applejack’s Play Colt is just a bunch of words!
“He c-”
>Suddenly hoof to the gut!

>As you try to recover Applejack does another bout of laughter, “Ahaha, well thanks for the thought Anon, but you really should go now.”
>Kneeling down rubbing your gut you watch as Applejack buries her head into Anon’s side pushing him out the house.
>”Are you sure th-”
>”Yes Anon! I am sure, thank you for bringing Bloom home!”
>Giving a last bump to Anon’s rear, unf, Applejack closes the door and leans against it with a sigh.
>You take the time to skedaddle as you know how your sister gets when she’s frazzled and it’s your fault.
>You had only taken a step before the stairs betray you with a creak.

>”Applebloom!”
>Fiddle sticks…
>”What in the wide world of Equestria was that all about?! You come home with that colt smelling like you're in heat and your scent all over him! I thought I raised you better than that!”
“It’s not like that at all!”
>Applejack squints her eyes at you as she comes closer, “Is that so? Well then missy, how about you explain it to me then?”
>Going over what happened at the scout class you make sure to omit the dare.
>Applejack eyes you with a shrewd glance and hums, “You’re not telling me everything Bloom, I can feel it in my gut…”
>Damn those harmony honesty powers!
>Never let you get away with anything!
>Sighing you are about to spill all the details before Applejack draws you into a hug?
>”But it’s fine Apple Bloom, I know how having your heat is like, let’s get you bundled up and into the house.”
“Aww...do I really oughta?”
>Applejack just raises her eyebrow at you.
“Okay, okay I’m going! Slave master you are!”
>”I’m just keeping you from ruining some pretty colts life, what about that Rumble colt? I hear good things from him?”
“Ew Rumble? Are you kidding? His hair is like eighty percent hair gel I think, way too high maintenance!”
>Applejack just ruffles your mane and slaps your rump, “Whatever lil one, you just git afore I make ya git! Dinner be ready in an hour.”
“Alright!”