Captain Underpants: Mega Blissmas (2020) EN

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This is George Beard
and Harold Hutchins.

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George is the kid on the left
with the tie and the Santa hat.

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Harold is on the right with
the reindeer antlers and the bad haircut.

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Remember that, now,
because they're getting their Christmas on

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like a holiday movie marathon.

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-Ho-Ho-Five-O! Ho-Ho-Hose!

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-Ho-Ho-HM... O.

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-Christmas is awesome.
-Yep, it's my favorite time of the year.

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The lights, the snow globes,
and whatever this is.

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-I think it's a tree skirt.
-Yes!

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Even the trees get dressed up
at Christmas!

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And nothing puts me
in the mood for Christmas

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more than the Fourth of July.

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Yep. Christmas starts
earlier and earlier every year.

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-Aah!

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The Xtreme Xploits
of the Xplosive Xmas!

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Chapter One: Merry Twistmas.

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Six months later,
it was finally Christmas.

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-Cheer was in the air

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and smoke from a small grease fire
at Chancy Chicken.

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Man, you can't beat Christmas
at Christmastime.

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Yeah, it's like having Christmas
at Christmas!

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I'll say, you tangled string lights.

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And nothing says Christmas
like a lukewarm mug of ham nog.

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I'll take the hit. What's ham nog?

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A one-of-a-kind beverage
and precious holiday treasure,

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made from baked ham, raw eggs,
smoked oysters, and a dash of cinnamon.

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This holiday season, fill your cup
to the brim with Smickleflap's Ham Nog.

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Hammy holidays.

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-Ugh! Tastes like low tide.

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It checks all the boxes--
smoky, creamy, chewy, fishy, chunky.

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Ah!

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-That sounds awful.
-To a primitive palate.

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When they discontinued it,
I bought every last gallon

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and put it in my Freezydoesit 2000
to preserve it for the next 10,000 years.

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No!

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Every Christmas, I allow myself
a few drops of this precious nectar.

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-I kind of wanna taste it now.
-Never!

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Because it's all for me
and you're nog nothings.

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Ha! Nog burn.

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Man, Melvin liking Christmas
is not a good look for Christmas.

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-But even Melvin can't ruin Christmas.
-Nope, 'cause Christmas is perfect.

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-I hear rustling.

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-Probably gloves.

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I'm getting wind chimes and...

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-...nine iron?

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-Trying to guess gifts again, huh?
-Yeah, this one's for you.

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-Ooh, you're getting broken glass!

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Tell you what,
since we can't open presents yet,

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how's about a sneak-read

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of 'Tis the Eve 'Fore the Day
'Twas Christmas?

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But that poem's for Christmas Eve,
which is two weeks away, George's Dad.

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I know. That's what makes it
naughty and nice.

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-Did someone mess with my chair?

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-'Cause it's all...

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Now I can't get it to--
Why won't it just--

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-Ah, perfect. Here we go.

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"'Tis the eve 'fore the day
'twas Christmas.

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The village is brimming with cheer.

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The blacksmith is smithing..."

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-What's "smithing"?
-No idea.

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-"...seamstress is seaming..."
-What's "seaming"?

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-Beats me.
-"...for soon old Saint Nick will be here.

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With eight flying reindeer a-pulling..."

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-I gotta say, this poem's a little rusty.
-Yeah.

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And these sweaters
are pretty ugly and itchy.

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All this waiting-- waiting for Santa,
waiting to open presents,

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waiting for Grandpa to go back to Boca
so I don't have to sleep on the floor!

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Maybe Christmas isn't perfect.

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Maybe it could use some upgrades.

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Yeah, might be time for a Chris-makeover.

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Let's slide.

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"And with that, Santa whispers..."

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So, instead of red bows,
how about laser shows?

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You mean like this?

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Instead of peppermint...

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Super-spicy-sour-salty-scorched-
banana-apple-berry-blast!

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-Instead of ugly sweaters...
- Cool Christmas capes!

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-Instead of jolly old Saint Nick...
- Jacked new Santa!

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-Instead of tired, sad carols...
- Holi-DJs!

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-Instead of bland ham...
-Corn-dog-taco-pizza-chili-changa!

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-Instead of boring, decorated trees...
-Titanic tree-bots!

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We're gonna need more than a day
to fit all this in.

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-So we make Christmas a whole week!
-Yes!

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We should make a comic!

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Chapter Two: Captain Underpants
and the Christmas Chaos,

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by George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

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A couple of months before Christmas,

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Santa was testing new toys.

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One was a robot named Roguey,
a war-bot who made lots of noise.

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But Roguey the Robot went rogue.

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Not surprising because of his name.

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He took Santa hostage and warned,

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"Pay the ransom
'cause this ain't no game."

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The ransom was one jillion dollars

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and a motorcycle that flies
and shoots flame.

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"Pay or Christmas is cancelled,"
he warned,

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"'cause, again, this ain't no game."

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The world didn't have that much dough,
so they did the only thing they could do.

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They called for the hero in undies,
and in Captain Underpants flew.

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When Captain Underpants
heard about Santa,

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he said, "Oh, no! That's really bad!

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But don't worry, folks. I love Christmas.

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It's my favorite time to wear plaid."

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Captain Underpants' mission was clear:
save Santa and Christmas, too.

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'Cause if he failed, no holiday party,
not even 'O Howly Night at the zoo!

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Captain Underpants flew to the North Pole.

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A weird snowdrift made him look twice,

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so he dug and he dug
and he dug and he dug,

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and he found a jail in the ice!

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Here's the thing about prison--
it can change a man, and that's a fact.

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So when Captain Underpants found Santa,
he was no longer jolly.

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He was jacked!

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Robots charged in from all sides.

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The heroes were caught in a trap.

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Roguey was all, "Game's over, you fools!"

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"But you said this ain't no game,"
said Cap.

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Captain thought they were goners,
but new jacked Santa stepped in.

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They fought side by side like Pro-Bowlers,
and they smashed all the bots for the win.

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To celebrate, jacked Santa declared that
"Christmas would have a new name."

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From that day on, it would be Blissmas
and be a whole new ball game,

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with lasers, explosion, and fun,
and steaks, and dance music, and parades,

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and jalapeno poppers, and ape racing,
and monster trucks, and horse climbing,

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and French toast,
and a party that lasts a week,

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and a dinosaur made out of fire,
for some reason,

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and, oh, yeah, this was supposed to rhyme.

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Okay, the end.

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"...presents under the tree,
then helps himself to a cookie or three.

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They fought side by side like Pro-Bowlers

130
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and they smashed all the bots
for the win."

131
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Hey, that's not right.

132
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-No, it's better than right.
-Because we made it awesome.

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To you.

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-But Christmas isn't-- Ya!

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-My chair is so-- Just can't get it to...

136
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Okay, I need a new chair!

137
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Oh, wait, there's the button.

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-Ah!

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But Christmas isn't about you,
it's about everyone.

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Instead of thinking about ourselves,
we think about others.

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Mom? Were you here the whole time?

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-Mom? What are you doing here?
-Giving.

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That's the spirit
of every Christmas tradition.

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-Singing for other people,

145
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baking cookies for other people,

146
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giving presents to other people,
even this poem.

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It's about how Santa
puts everyone before himself.

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That's his thing.

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It's also
this Christmas special's thing.

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Thanks, George and Harold's parents.

151
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Where's that music coming from?

152
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Sorry, I was watching
Lee Dingman's Christmas movie,

153
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Christmas Lee's Christmas Tree,
on my phone.

154
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G'ah! Ninja attack!

155
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- Merry Christmas!
-Oh, you got me,

156
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you crazy Christmas ninjas!

157
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That's what we're talking about.
Even Lee Dingman is boring at Christmas.

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But if Christmas was more like our comic,
it would be better.

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Better for you.

160
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Exactly! And better for us
is better for everyone.

161
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All is know is Christmas ain't broke,
so don't fix it.

162
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Oh, no! Eternal darkness.

163
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Lock the doors,
board the windows!

164
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Candles were a tradition until someone
started a better tradition: lights.

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Yeah, so was black and white TV
until they invented color.

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And every Christmas tradition
started somewhere.

167
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Stockings, uh, Cyber Monday,
even Santa Claus.

168
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Man, I'd love to see
how Santa got started.

169
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-Too bad that's impossible.
- Nothing's impossible on TV.

170
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Welcome to Toys of London,

171
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the world's biggest toy store
300 years ago.

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Toys of London is the top toy titan.

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You have all the toys--

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dolls, marbles, rattles...

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and that's it.

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I propose you stop selling toys
and start giving them away!

177
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But that's not all.

178
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We're going to wrap the toys

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and put them under a tree
inside your house!

180
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And we're gonna call it--
wait for it...

181
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Christmas!

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-Why?
-Exactly!

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-Now, who's with me?
-Mr. Claus--

184
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Oh, call me Santa.

185
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Mr. Claus was my father.

186
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Very well, Santa.

187
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If we give our toys away,
how will we make any money?

188
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You won't!

189
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So, we got a deal?

190
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-Whoa!

191
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Ow!

192
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Why are there teacups here?

193
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Oh, right...  it's England.

194
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Chapter Three:
That's Show Fizz.

195
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Oh!

196
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Not again.

197
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,341
Coast is clear. It's copy time.

198
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Once we put a copy of our comic
in the hands of every person in Piqua,

199
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-Blissmas will be a go.
- Help.

200
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Was that Ms. Anthrope calling for help?

201
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Nah, that was the copier.

202
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- Help.
-Hope it doesn't break.

203
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-Me, too. Can I help?
-Yeah, grab some more paper.

204
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-Ooh, and toner.
-Sure thing.

205
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But first, why don't you get
in my office right now?

206
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Help.

207
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Was that Ms. Anthrope calling for help?

208
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-No, that was the copier.
- Hel--

209
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:37,201
Misallocation of school copying resources?

210
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Ooh, that's a serious offense.

211
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What to do?

212
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You could give us your keys.

213
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Ah! Let me in! It's my house!

214
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And I have to go number two!

215
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,630
You could nominate us for membership
in your Yak Lodge.

216
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Let me in, let me in! I'm a Yak!

217
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:56,178
You could take us on a Christmas cruise.

218
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-Let me in! I paid for this cruise!

219
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Boys, Christmas
is my favorite time of year.

220
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Three weeks of paid time off
with nothing but a roaring fire

221
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and a freezer full of steaks
I got dirt cheap at the Beef Thief.

222
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Steaks, roasts, burgers.

223
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If it's beef, we got it.

224
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And at prices so low,
you'll swear it was stolen.

225
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'Cause it was.

226
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,452
-Uh... gotta go!

227
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:23,122
But there's one thing
about Christmas I can't stand.

228
00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:24,624
-Christmas fudge flab?

229
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,459
-Christmas credit card debt?

230
00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:29,170
No! The school Christmas pageant.

231
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:30,546
Isn't Ms. Hurd in charge?

232
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,215
She was, but apparently
Ms. Hurd passed away last year.

233
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,509
-So who directed it last year?
-Her ghost.

234
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:37,762
But now her ghost is retiring.

235
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:43,643
The good news is I can finally shut down
the music program.

236
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:47,146
The bad news is
none of the other teachers will step up.

237
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,856
You have to direct the pageant!

238
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:51,734
You're a gym teacher!
You know about theater!

239
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,487
-Yeah-yeah-yeah, no-no-no-no.
-Is that a yes or a no?

240
00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:57,740
-You're sending mixed signals!
-Ah!

241
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:00,451
-Christmas pageant!

242
00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:04,372
If I don't find someone to direct
the pageant, I'll have to do it.

243
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:08,626
And I'd rather be eaten by sharks
than spend more time with you kids.

244
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:11,462
-But you're a school principal.
-Ugh, don't remind me.

245
00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:13,381
-But the good news is--
-You already said.

246
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:14,965
There's more good news!

247
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:17,802
And the good news is I've found someone!

248
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,436
I can't believe Krupp is making us direct
the Christmas pageant.

249
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,940
-Worst punishment ever.
-Yep, this pageant is stale.

250
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,858
Hasn't changed since the dinosaurs did it.

251
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,863
You're right, and that's why
we should totally upgrade it.

252
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,866
Hey, guys, we all love Christmas,
but what if we made it cooler?

253
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,451
'Cause that's what we're gonna do.

254
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,704
We're turning "Christmas" into "Blissmas,"
starting with the pageant.

255
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,999
We've been asleep at the Christmas wheel,
and it's time to hit the Blissmas gas!

256
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,167
- Yay!

257
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,128
Sorry. Meatloaf Monday.

258
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:55,464
Don't be sorry, 'cause Blissmas
doesn't apologize for anything.

259
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:56,841
Yay!

260
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:59,135
-Can I lose these sleigh bells?
-Only if you want to.

261
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:00,261
Yay!

262
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,012
Wait, I like sleigh bells.

263
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,222
I love this.

264
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:06,475
It's new, it's bold, it's uncompromising.

265
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,102
But our parents won't be on board.

266
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:10,438
All things change,
and Christmas is a thing.

267
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:12,231
You gotta break some eggs to make egg nog.

268
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:15,568
Egg-xactly, and I know
a thing or two about nog.

269
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:18,195
George and Harold's pageant
is going to be legendary.

270
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,155
-Really?
-Yes.

271
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:20,906
A legendary train wreck!

272
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:25,244
I'll have a front row seat
to enjoy every moment of it

273
00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:27,496
with a room temperature mug of ham nog.

274
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,206
Ah...

275
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:32,543
Ah...

276
00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:38,424
Okay, let's wreck this pageant
from the top.

277
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:41,135
-Why does it smell like the pier?
- Ham nog!

278
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:43,971
Meanwhile, 300 years ago,
Christmas was still a hard sell.

279
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:47,349
Because if The Eiffel Toyer
gives its toys away,

280
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:51,103
it will inspire people to think about
others before themselves.

281
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,689
-Oh! Oof!

282
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:55,232
Croissants.

283
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:58,277
And if people think about others
before themselves,

284
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:02,114
thanks to Toysland Uber Alles,
they'll be happy.

285
00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:04,200
- Oof!

286
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:06,494
Ah, bratwurst!

287
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:10,164
And if everyone is happy,
the world will be a better place,

288
00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:12,666
courtesy of Neutrali-Toys.

289
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,793
-Ow! Oh!

290
00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:17,087
Oh, cheese!

291
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:19,965
"Big school Christmas pageant tonight.

292
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,468
No shoes, no shirt, no Santa show!

293
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:24,470
-Break a leg, kids."

294
00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:27,431
"Tonight is Blissmas
and Santa is going to town."

295
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,851
Nice! Now, let's get naughty.

296
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,229
Chapter Four:
Swing and a Christmas.

297
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:36,273
Oh, hello, parents of some students.

298
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,652
And you, too, other parents
of some other students.

299
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,946
I did it.

300
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:44,740
I made George and Harold
direct the Christmas pageant,

301
00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:46,325
and I didn't even check on them.

302
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:47,910
I'm a Christmas genius!

303
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:51,372
Aren't you worried that George and Harold
changed the pageant?

304
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:52,331
No!

305
00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:55,251
-Wait, what?

306
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,920
-Oh, no.
-It's Christmas Eve.

307
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,673
The War on Christmas
has raged for centuries.

308
00:14:00,756 --> 00:14:05,511
But this year, 2127,
is the year a hero rises from the tinsel

309
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:09,598
-and Christmas becomes Blissmas.

310
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:13,227
Because Santa's coming to town
to kick some bot butt.

311
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,146
Thanks, Dasher.

312
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:18,357
You, too, Dancer and Prancer.

313
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,942
Love the new look, Santa.

314
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,027
You're, like, super jacked now.

315
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:25,489
Stay frosty, Christmas commandos.
That explosion woke up the metal heads.

316
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,283
We're gonna have to blast our way out.

317
00:14:27,491 --> 00:14:29,743
Good. Let's wreck the halls!

318
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,254
Ah! The metal heads have force fields!

319
00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:44,383
-Our lasers can't break through!
-No, but the mistletoe missile will.

320
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,931
Ho-ho-hope you have insurance!

321
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,562
-Santa should be here by now.
-But he's not.

322
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:58,772
It's the end of Christmas.

323
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,403
Right, because it's the beginning
of Blissmas!

324
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,572
And this night ain't silent anymore,

325
00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:10,200
so make some noise
and have a Mega Blissmas!

326
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:18,709
Corndog-taco-pizza-chilichangas
for everyone!

327
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:20,461
Ow!

328
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,254
-Oh...

329
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:26,175
and there's a dinosaur made of fire,
for some reason.

330
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,218
-That's crunchy.

331
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,429
And hot! Oh!

332
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:33,515
-Mega Blissmas, everyone!

333
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,689
-Uh, um... ahem.

334
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,483
M-Merry Christmas?

335
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:45,694
Man, the crowd was so blown away,
they couldn't even clap.

336
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,155
Or cheer, or talk, or even move.

337
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,741
We did it! We made Blissmas a thing!

338
00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:51,784
It was awesome!

339
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:54,787
To us.
To the audience, not so much.

340
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,330
My parents hated it.

341
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:57,539
My mom started crying.

342
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,210
Oh, my family stopped sweating.

343
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:02,461
That's never happened before.

344
00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:04,630
My mother called her lawyar.

345
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:05,923
My Dad said we're moving.

346
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:08,133
What are you talking about? We killed it!

347
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,051
We sure did.

348
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,136
We killed Christmas.

349
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,225
- Oh! Oh!

350
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:19,687
Why-- Huh? Why?

351
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,398
-Why what?
-Yeah. Can you be more specific?

352
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,733
Aah!

353
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,694
Why did you change the pageant?

354
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,196
Everybody loved that old sap-fest!

355
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:30,322
And you ruined it!

356
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:34,076
Now the parents are furious
and they're taking it out on me!

357
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:37,496
So I'm going to take it out on you.

358
00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:40,582
Get ready for some ho-ho-hard labor.

359
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:47,798
Honey, we're not mad,
we're disappointed.

360
00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:49,758
I'm both and confused.

361
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,845
Why was there a dinosaur?
And why do I have to sit in the middle?

362
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:54,471
What's so bad about Blissmas?

363
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:55,973
Blissmas is for you.

364
00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:58,100
Christmas is for everyone.

365
00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:01,311
-And everyone loved that pageant...

366
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,479
...until tonight.

367
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,565
Too bad more people didn't love ham nog.

368
00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:06,567
Now, that made for a hammy holiday.

369
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:09,528
-Getting rid of it was a Christmas crime.

370
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:12,239
Maybe the real crime
was not giving Blissmas a chance.

371
00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:14,199
-Boys, I want you to read this.

372
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:16,994
"'Tis the Eve 'Fore the Day
'Twas Christmas."

373
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,955
-We read it.
-But you don't get it.

374
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,417
Christmas was about putting others
before yourself right from the start,

375
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,878
and that will never change.

376
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,797
I'm calling Smickleflaps.
I want a ham nog reboot.

377
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,632
Mm, ham nog!

378
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,552
Ugh, this pageant punishment
sure is pungent.

379
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:34,887
More like putrid.

380
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:38,182
Maybe our parents are right.
Maybe Christmas will never change.

381
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:40,976
Unless we use Melvin's Timetoad
to go back in time

382
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,853
and change Christmas before it starts.

383
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:44,938
Yes! Exactly what I was thinking.

384
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,900
-I'm sure that's what they meant.
- That is not what they meant.

385
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:49,610
Don't touch that last toilet!

386
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:52,196
-Why?
-I'm defrosting ribeyes in there.

387
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,324
-Why?
-Well, the Beef Thief says

388
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:59,453
to defrost meat in a toilet,
and mine are full of T-bones and tri-tip!

389
00:17:59,536 --> 00:18:02,039
You know, Christmas past
might be dangerous.

390
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:05,501
Yeah, so let's bring a holiday heavy
to watch our backs.

391
00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:13,550
I've done that one before,
but it never gets old.

392
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:16,804
Ooh, are these toilet steaks spoken for?

393
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,183
-So, when was the first Christmas?
-I don't know.

394
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,434
Let's ask Santa.

395
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,728
-We're gonna meet Santa?

396
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:26,939
Santa!

397
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:27,856
Oof!

398
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:32,111
And to close out the Ds,
I want a doctor dog.

399
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,613
That's a dog that's licensed
to practice medicine.

400
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,616
You don't know when all this started?

401
00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:39,701
Didn't they teach you that
in mall Santa training?

402
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:42,412
Ho-ho-ho! Look, kid, I'm just an actor
trying to make a buck.

403
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:43,872
-I graduated from Juilliard.
-Ooh!

404
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,542
I was the lead on The Zoovestigator
for three seasons.

405
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,168
-It's not like those monkeys

406
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,629
could have opened
this unlocked door and walked out.

407
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:51,964
Oh, wait.

408
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:53,507
Yes, they could have.

409
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,469
-That show was underrated.
- Psst!

410
00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,888
Youse twos want the Santa skinny?
Follows me.

411
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:03,225
...an elderly llama,
an eel tank filled with eel--

412
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:04,935
Chapter Five: Elf Help.

413
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:07,938
Ow.
Why is this igloo so small?

414
00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:11,024
Because it ain't a real igloo,
so shut your yaps and listen up.

415
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,192
Name's Yule, Yule Tide.

416
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:15,028
I'm one of Santa's little helpers,
real Santa.

417
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,030
-Wait, you're a real elf?
-That's right, chief.

418
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:18,657
Don't get your stockings in a knot.

419
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:22,161
So, whys is you kids asking
so many questions about Santa, huh?

420
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,788
Because we want to bring Christmas
into the 21st century.

421
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,456
Oh, yeah?
How's youse gonna dos that?

422
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,001
Use a time machine to go back
to the first Christmas Eve

423
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:30,335
and have a chat with Santa.

424
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,796
Time machine, eh? All right, I'll bite.

425
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,799
Seventeen-twenty, North Pole,
that's when Santa became Santa.

426
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:39,428
You goes there, maybe you can
give Christmas a needed kick in the pants.

427
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,388
Thanks. I guess
you're our little helper, too.

428
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:45,017
-Oh! Is that an elf crack?
-No! He just meant that--

429
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,018
Ha!

430
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:48,228
I'm just busting your chops.

431
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:49,688
We're on the same team.

432
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:52,357
Look at me, 300 years of pointy hats
and pointy shoes is enough.

433
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:53,734
I'm an elf, not a clown.

434
00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:55,277
Why can't I wear something nice?

435
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,571
So, you want us to tell Santa
that elves need new clothes?

436
00:19:57,654 --> 00:19:59,364
Whoa! I didn't say that, youse did.

437
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,033
All right, we're done here. Beat it.

438
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,828
And take your man-baby with youse.
He's gumming up the works.

439
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:07,748
And a giraffe-man. That's the Gs.

440
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:10,125
You need a break
or should we push through to the Zs?

441
00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:15,088
Huh, chair.
Add that to the "chuhs."

442
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:16,632
"Dear Mr. Claus,

443
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:19,635
I'll forgo the pleasantries
and get straight to my Christmas demands,

444
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:21,136
in order of priority.

445
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,931
One: bring back
Smickleflap's Ham Nog, obviously.

446
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:28,352
Two: facial hair, preferably a mustache,
but a soul patch will suffice.

447
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:30,938
Three: absolute power.
Four: the--"

448
00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:32,314
- Merry Christmas!
-Aah!

449
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,691
I should have replaced Mother
with a guard dog.

450
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,902
And Christmas is next week,
you cracked ornaments.

451
00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:38,528
But we wanted to give you an early gift.

452
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:41,323
Let me guess.
Is it a spring-loaded boxing glove?

453
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,201
Or a set of propeller bow ties?

454
00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:45,410
Aah!

455
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:46,745
Or is it a rabid badger?

456
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:49,539
-Aah!

457
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:52,542
-You have to open it to find out.
-Very well, then.

458
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:55,963
Behold, the Anti-de-present 2000,

459
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,382
built for precisely this occasion.

460
00:21:03,553 --> 00:21:04,513
-What was that?

461
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,056
-Uh... indoornado.
-Wall moose.

462
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:08,141
My fault for asking.

463
00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:11,770
-Who's there?
-Springnado.

464
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:14,189
-Spring moose.
-Why do I bother?

465
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,403
- Where's he going?
- Bathroom?

466
00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:21,154
-Hmm.

467
00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:23,073
-Uh... toiletnado!
-Toilet moose!

468
00:21:23,156 --> 00:21:25,200
I weep for the future.

469
00:21:29,204 --> 00:21:30,205
Aha!

470
00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:31,665
It's... It's...

471
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:33,667
It's beautiful!

472
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:34,876
We had Bo make it for you.

473
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,421
Yeah. Now you can could drink ham nog
out of your own head.

474
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:41,383
Oh...

475
00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:44,428
Uh, I'll be right back.

476
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,805
I think he's really touched.

477
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:50,392
Got it! And he'll never even know
I was here.

478
00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:52,311
-Whoa!

479
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:54,104
Ooh! Ow! Oh!

480
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:55,522
Whoops, excuse me. Just--

481
00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:58,900
Oh! Ah!

482
00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:02,946
In this mug is perfectly lukewarm ham nog.

483
00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:06,199
I have never before shared it
with another living creature,

484
00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:07,409
not even Mother.

485
00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:10,037
No! But now...

486
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:14,082
the three of us will drink
from this mug together...

487
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:20,505
forever cementing our bond
of everlasting friendship.

488
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:24,718
That's awfully nice of you, Melvin,
uh, but we had a big lunch.

489
00:22:24,801 --> 00:22:26,011
Yeah, no.

490
00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:26,928
Drink!

491
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,306
Chapter Six:
Here Comes Santa Clash,

492
00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:32,309
in which they all travel back in time
to meet Santa.

493
00:22:32,392 --> 00:22:35,353
Ugh! I am never gonna get
that ham nog taste out of my mouth.

494
00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:37,022
Ugh! Nothing should be that chewy.

495
00:22:37,105 --> 00:22:39,983
Ho-ho. Did you guys just eat tires?
Been there.

496
00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:44,488
Ooh, good tires! Am I right?

497
00:22:44,571 --> 00:22:46,823
So, this is the North Pole in 1720.

498
00:22:47,365 --> 00:22:49,367
-There's nothing here.
-Nothing except that.

499
00:22:49,576 --> 00:22:52,496
Whoa-ho!
A giant gingerbread house!

500
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:55,290
Maybe that's where
those cute little elves live.

501
00:22:58,293 --> 00:22:59,836
Their hammers aren't cute!

502
00:23:01,671 --> 00:23:03,256
Intruders! Attack!

503
00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:06,134
Oh, no! They're attack elves!

504
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:07,552
Cover your knees!

505
00:23:08,136 --> 00:23:09,596
Wha! Oof!

506
00:23:09,721 --> 00:23:10,972
-Whoa!
-Hyah!

507
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:12,265
-Aah!
-Yah!

508
00:23:19,272 --> 00:23:23,401
These elves are meaner than the elves
in my favorite fantasy role-playing game,

509
00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,070
Wizards and Wallets.

510
00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:28,865
Ha-ho! I got an 87!

511
00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:30,117
Here's my wallet!

512
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,079
See you next week.

513
00:23:34,162 --> 00:23:36,665
I'll bring chips and dip
and another wallet.

514
00:23:38,625 --> 00:23:41,128
There's so many.
There's an Elvis of them!

515
00:23:41,211 --> 00:23:43,755
-That's what you call a bunch of elves.
- No, it isn't.

516
00:23:43,839 --> 00:23:47,175
Yeah, but they're short,
so when they go low, we go high!

517
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:48,510
Right, Captain Underpants?

518
00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:50,554
Good thinking. I'll find an escalator.

519
00:23:50,637 --> 00:23:52,013
No! You can fly!

520
00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:54,266
Oh, yeah!
I always forget that when it matters.

521
00:23:54,349 --> 00:23:55,684
Aah!

522
00:23:56,059 --> 00:23:57,269
Whoa!

523
00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:00,355
Flying with friends is fun.

524
00:24:00,438 --> 00:24:01,731
We should do this more often.

525
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:04,359
-Yeah, but not here!
-Incoming antlers!

526
00:24:05,735 --> 00:24:06,903
-Huh?

527
00:24:11,658 --> 00:24:14,161
I don't like
these reindeer games.

528
00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:25,088
- Ho-ho-hold the phone!

529
00:24:26,631 --> 00:24:28,925
Get off before we get sued!

530
00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:31,386
Santa!

531
00:24:31,469 --> 00:24:33,847
Uh, sorry, we don't get many guests.

532
00:24:33,930 --> 00:24:35,265
Or any guests at all.

533
00:24:35,348 --> 00:24:36,266
Come on in!

534
00:24:36,349 --> 00:24:37,934
Just made a fresh batch of cookies.

535
00:24:39,477 --> 00:24:41,688
Wait, why aren't you wearing any clothes?

536
00:24:41,771 --> 00:24:44,149
-It's 20 below zero.
-My motor runs hot.

537
00:24:44,524 --> 00:24:46,818
So you always wanted
to give toys to everyone?

538
00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:49,654
My first childhood toy was a stick.

539
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:51,489
It made me so happy.

540
00:24:51,573 --> 00:24:55,785
But giving it to my neighbor Maurice
made me realize true happiness

541
00:24:55,869 --> 00:24:58,205
is putting others before yourself.

542
00:24:58,288 --> 00:25:00,415
I went around the world
looking for someone else

543
00:25:00,498 --> 00:25:02,876
who wanted to put others
before themselves like me,

544
00:25:02,959 --> 00:25:04,044
but everyone said no.

545
00:25:04,127 --> 00:25:07,422
That's when I realized
I'd have to make it happen on my own.

546
00:25:07,505 --> 00:25:11,635
So I emptied my bank account and moved
to the North Pole to make a fresh start.

547
00:25:12,677 --> 00:25:15,180
But it was a lot colder
than I expected.

548
00:25:15,263 --> 00:25:16,973
Luckily, that's when I met the elves.

549
00:25:17,057 --> 00:25:19,184
And they loved my presentation,

550
00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:22,896
so they helped me build this cottage
and a workshop for toys.

551
00:25:22,979 --> 00:25:26,107
And now we're a lean, mean,
toy-making machine.

552
00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:28,568
Well, maybe not so lean
'cause of all the cookies,

553
00:25:28,652 --> 00:25:30,111
but that's all there is to eat here.

554
00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,821
You know, it's the Arctic.

555
00:25:32,447 --> 00:25:33,448
Yeah!

556
00:25:34,115 --> 00:25:35,617
- Whoa!

557
00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,702
Santa's workshop!

558
00:25:38,245 --> 00:25:40,455
This is the sleigh,
and you've met the reindeer.

559
00:25:40,747 --> 00:25:43,792
Now, once we're loaded up,
I'm going to fly around the world,

560
00:25:43,875 --> 00:25:46,294
giving trees and presents to everyone.

561
00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:49,881
And tomorrow, December 25th,
the world will be a better place,

562
00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:54,052
full of lights and bows and festive songs
and colorful sweaters

563
00:25:54,135 --> 00:25:57,764
and, most importantly,
the joy of putting others before yourself,

564
00:25:57,847 --> 00:25:59,849
all thanks to Christmas.

565
00:25:59,933 --> 00:26:01,434
Heh, that's what I'm calling it.

566
00:26:02,143 --> 00:26:05,355
I'm kind of hoping people do
the tree part themselves next year

567
00:26:05,438 --> 00:26:07,232
'cause this sap is really sticky.

568
00:26:07,315 --> 00:26:09,192
Anyways, that's the plan.
What do you think?

569
00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:12,821
-It's a good plan, really.
-But what if you think bigger?

570
00:26:12,904 --> 00:26:15,448
Instead of red bows, laser shows!

571
00:26:15,532 --> 00:26:17,826
Instead of ugly sweaters, cool capes!

572
00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:20,578
Instead of decorating trees,
creating tree-bots!

573
00:26:21,204 --> 00:26:22,706
Maybe this will inspire you.

574
00:26:23,164 --> 00:26:24,874
Oh, pictures!

575
00:26:24,958 --> 00:26:27,711
-Ooh, got any more of those cookies?
-Tons.

576
00:26:27,794 --> 00:26:29,004
It's a problem.

577
00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:31,256
But my New Year's resolution
is to hit the gym,

578
00:26:31,339 --> 00:26:34,342
soon as it gets invented,
'cause it is the 1700s.

579
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:37,012
Yeah, all right, "A couple of months
before Christmas,

580
00:26:37,095 --> 00:26:39,347
Santa was testing new toys..."

581
00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:41,099
-"Okay, the end."
-And that's not all.

582
00:26:41,182 --> 00:26:43,226
You're giving presents to everyone, right?

583
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:45,645
-Well, what about Santa?
-Maybe Santa gets a present.

584
00:26:45,729 --> 00:26:46,646
Uh, maybe it's a boat.

585
00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:49,274
Whoa, I've always wanted a boat.

586
00:26:49,357 --> 00:26:51,318
Well, this changes everything!

587
00:26:51,401 --> 00:26:53,987
Elves, I'm calling an audible!

588
00:26:54,070 --> 00:26:57,282
Boys, you just booked permanent spots
on my "nice" list,

589
00:26:57,365 --> 00:26:58,825
which is another thing I'm starting.

590
00:26:58,908 --> 00:27:00,869
Ugh! I got a tummy ache.

591
00:27:01,077 --> 00:27:04,622
Maybe that's because you ate
every single cookie we had!

592
00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:06,291
G'oh! Sap!

593
00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:08,710
He's on board.
Let's head home and see if it sticks.

594
00:27:08,793 --> 00:27:11,046
And let's skip ahead to Christmas Eve
in the present.

595
00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:13,423
Good call, 'cause there's no waiting
in Blissmas.

596
00:27:13,506 --> 00:27:15,258
Chapter Seven: So Did It Work?

597
00:27:24,100 --> 00:27:26,686
Huh, I thought things would change,
but everything looks the same.

598
00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:28,146
Guess it didn't work after all.

599
00:27:28,229 --> 00:27:31,858
Celebratory tree ignition
in three, two, one.

600
00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:35,987
-Hit the dirt!

601
00:27:37,864 --> 00:27:39,616
I'm hitting it as hard as I can!

602
00:27:40,617 --> 00:27:43,078
But it's not working! Make it stop!

603
00:27:43,161 --> 00:27:45,163
You make it stop! You have powers!

604
00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:47,582
Oh, yeah. Why can't I remember that?

605
00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:52,003
Okay, tree, it's time for you
to make like a you and leaf.

606
00:27:52,087 --> 00:27:53,463
Or at least stop burning.

607
00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:01,971
Why am I wet? Where are my pants?

608
00:28:02,055 --> 00:28:04,265
And why am I an ornament now?

609
00:28:09,145 --> 00:28:11,731
Whoa, auto tree refill. A treefill!

610
00:28:11,815 --> 00:28:13,441
- So good.

611
00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:15,443
Kid, get out of the blast zone!

612
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,278
And Mega Blissmas!

613
00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:19,155
Mega Blissmas? Does that mean--

614
00:28:19,239 --> 00:28:21,074
It worked! Blissmas is a thing!

615
00:28:52,063 --> 00:28:53,898
Now, that was a Christmas song.

616
00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:56,693
-Because it was a Blissmas song.
-Yep.

617
00:28:56,776 --> 00:28:59,320
I can't believe Santa got us
everything we wanted for Blissmas,

618
00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:00,697
including a chili geyser!

619
00:29:00,780 --> 00:29:03,992
Blissmas is the longest week of the year.

620
00:29:04,325 --> 00:29:06,035
A whole week of this awesomeness?

621
00:29:06,119 --> 00:29:08,121
Including a whole week of presents!

622
00:29:08,204 --> 00:29:10,415
It just keeps getting better and better!

623
00:29:10,498 --> 00:29:12,667
Yeah-yeah-yeah-- Ow!
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-- Oh!

624
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:14,419
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah--

625
00:29:14,502 --> 00:29:16,880
I can't wait for, yeah-yeah-yeah,
Blissmas to be,

626
00:29:16,963 --> 00:29:18,173
yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, over!

627
00:29:18,256 --> 00:29:20,216
-Ow!
-Not better for everyone, I guess.

628
00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:22,802
Yeah. Mr. Meaner always loved Christmas.

629
00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:25,013
Merry yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah Christmas!

630
00:29:25,096 --> 00:29:26,723
Look what I got at Rent-A-Reindeer!

631
00:29:26,806 --> 00:29:27,974
Ho, ho, ho!

632
00:29:28,224 --> 00:29:29,934
Who's got yeah-yeah-yeah mistletoe?

633
00:29:34,147 --> 00:29:36,483
Our parents aren't so wild
about Blissmas either.

634
00:29:36,566 --> 00:29:38,651
Yeah, but they're adults.
Adults are never happy.

635
00:29:38,735 --> 00:29:40,653
Ho, ho, ho! Mega Blissmas!

636
00:29:40,737 --> 00:29:43,323
People of Piqua,
this is your Santa speaking!

637
00:29:43,406 --> 00:29:49,329
Time to get your butts to the Piquarena
for tonight's Mega Mechalition Derby!

638
00:29:49,496 --> 00:29:50,622
Mechalition Derby?

639
00:29:50,705 --> 00:29:52,999
No idea what it is
and it's my new favorite thing.

640
00:29:59,589 --> 00:30:01,966
Hey, guys! You ready
for some Mechalition derby?

641
00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:05,178
We're not asking because we just got here
and we have no idea what it is.

642
00:30:05,261 --> 00:30:07,722
Giant robots smashing
into each other again? Eh.

643
00:30:07,806 --> 00:30:08,765
"Eh"?

644
00:30:08,848 --> 00:30:10,308
But Blissmas is so awesome.

645
00:30:10,391 --> 00:30:14,229
At first, but then it's just loud,
pointless, and obnoxious.

646
00:30:14,312 --> 00:30:17,190
Like Other Sophie. Sophie burn!

647
00:30:17,273 --> 00:30:19,025
Wait, I thought everyone loved Blissmas.

648
00:30:19,108 --> 00:30:20,527
-What about the lasers?
-Seen it.

649
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,447
-The Ho-Ho-Ho-ller Coaster?
-Been thar.

650
00:30:24,531 --> 00:30:25,865
-Virtual Blissmas?
-Done that.

651
00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:28,785
-Aw, the Blissmas bobcat bit me again.

652
00:30:28,868 --> 00:30:31,287
You guys are crazy.
Blissmas is awesome!

653
00:30:31,371 --> 00:30:34,249
Yeah. You could be decorating a tree
instead of launching it.

654
00:30:34,332 --> 00:30:35,875
That actually sounds nice.

655
00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:39,420
Okay, but would you rather have
boring plates of cookies

656
00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:41,089
or exciting cookie drones?

657
00:30:44,384 --> 00:30:46,177
Boring plates! Boring plates!

658
00:30:46,594 --> 00:30:47,554
Aah!

659
00:30:47,637 --> 00:30:51,140
I'd like to eat one thing, baked,
like a ham,

660
00:30:51,224 --> 00:30:53,476
instead of a bunch of stuff ichanga'd.

661
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,437
Singing is easier
when you're not winded from dodging.

662
00:31:05,613 --> 00:31:08,074
Wow, it'd be nice
if everyone spent this holiday

663
00:31:08,157 --> 00:31:11,411
putting others before themselves,
especially Santa.

664
00:31:11,494 --> 00:31:13,872
What do you mean?
Santa always thinks about other people.

665
00:31:13,955 --> 00:31:15,707
That's why he gives presents to everyone.

666
00:31:15,790 --> 00:31:18,585
Wrong! Santa doesn't give
presents to anyone.

667
00:31:18,668 --> 00:31:19,752
He gets presents.

668
00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:21,754
- Whaaat?

669
00:31:21,838 --> 00:31:24,841
Whoa, wait, wait.
Where are your presents for Santa?

670
00:31:24,924 --> 00:31:25,800
We don't have any.

671
00:31:26,009 --> 00:31:27,594
- Ooh!
-Oh!

672
00:31:27,677 --> 00:31:29,470
You don't have presents for Santa?

673
00:31:29,846 --> 00:31:31,431
Where's your present for Santa?

674
00:31:31,514 --> 00:31:32,432
I forgot it.

675
00:31:32,515 --> 00:31:34,809
Maybe this will help you remember.

676
00:31:37,061 --> 00:31:39,397
Remember Santa's present,
remember Santa's present...

677
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,566
George, this present thing is bad.

678
00:31:41,649 --> 00:31:43,151
Is Blissmas a missmas?

679
00:31:43,234 --> 00:31:45,194
Nah. Nothing we can't fixmas.

680
00:31:45,278 --> 00:31:47,071
Don't worry, guys. We're tight with Santa.

681
00:31:47,155 --> 00:31:48,615
We'll wrap this gift rift.

682
00:31:48,698 --> 00:31:50,325
Gift ri-- hmm.

683
00:31:50,408 --> 00:31:52,285
Gift rift. That's hard to say.

684
00:31:54,412 --> 00:31:55,413
Oh, hey, it's Yule.

685
00:31:55,663 --> 00:31:57,957
-And you got the suit you wanted.
-Do I know youse?

686
00:31:58,041 --> 00:32:01,753
Oh, that's right!
You haven't met us yet 'cause time travel.

687
00:32:01,836 --> 00:32:03,171
Anyway, Merry Blissmas!

688
00:32:03,379 --> 00:32:05,465
Merry? You mean "Mega" Blissmas.

689
00:32:05,548 --> 00:32:07,258
And where are your presents for Santa?

690
00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:09,969
-We don't have any.
- Ooh!

691
00:32:10,178 --> 00:32:11,471
Why does everyone keep doing that?

692
00:32:11,554 --> 00:32:15,058
Tell Jingle Boss I got a couple
of gift-less Garys coming his way.

693
00:32:15,141 --> 00:32:16,935
Chapter Eight: Santa Flaws.

694
00:32:24,359 --> 00:32:26,277
This is way better than a Christmas party.

695
00:32:26,361 --> 00:32:27,946
It's like a North Pole night club.

696
00:32:28,029 --> 00:32:30,031
The North Pole's
hottest dance club.

697
00:32:30,114 --> 00:32:33,826
It's so exclusive, no one gets in,
because it's a glacier.

698
00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:35,662
Exactly. Blissmas is amazing.

699
00:32:35,745 --> 00:32:39,082
All we gotta do is fix this gift goof
with the big guy and we're golden.

700
00:32:39,165 --> 00:32:42,210
Yeah, if we fix the GG
with the big G, we're G.

701
00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:43,586
I found the big G.

702
00:32:44,253 --> 00:32:46,673
Ho! Yeez, ho!

703
00:32:46,756 --> 00:32:48,132
-Emphasis on "big."

704
00:32:49,342 --> 00:32:50,927
Georgetown! H-Bomb!

705
00:32:51,177 --> 00:32:52,136
You remember us?

706
00:32:52,220 --> 00:32:53,763
Of course. I'm Santa!

707
00:32:53,972 --> 00:32:55,348
-Jacked Santa!
-Yep.

708
00:32:55,431 --> 00:32:57,475
I put down the cookies
and picked up the weights.

709
00:32:57,558 --> 00:32:59,769
Oh, you guys want
a Blissmas protein shake?

710
00:32:59,852 --> 00:33:03,231
I got Ultra Fudgealanche
and Big-Time Bacon-Berry Blitz!

711
00:33:03,314 --> 00:33:05,525
-We love what you've done with Blissmas.
-Isn't it great?

712
00:33:05,608 --> 00:33:08,861
It's got everything-- lasers, capes,
rides, lasers, music, spicy food,

713
00:33:08,945 --> 00:33:10,780
robots, lasers, and lasers!

714
00:33:10,863 --> 00:33:11,698
What am I saying?

715
00:33:11,781 --> 00:33:14,575
You guys know all that
'cause it was your idea!

716
00:33:14,659 --> 00:33:17,120
We just have one small question.

717
00:33:17,203 --> 00:33:19,664
Why are you getting gifts
instead of giving them?

718
00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:21,624
Oh. Well, giving was a Christmas thing!

719
00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:23,334
Christmas was for everyone.

720
00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:28,089
But this is Blissmas, baby,
and Blissmas is all about me!

721
00:33:28,548 --> 00:33:29,757
That's not in our comic.

722
00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:32,135
Hey, you were the spark, I'm the fire!

723
00:33:32,218 --> 00:33:34,762
Yeah, but maybe this fire's
out of control.

724
00:33:34,846 --> 00:33:36,514
That's what makes it Blissmas, baby.

725
00:33:36,597 --> 00:33:38,850
And don't worry about getting me a gift.

726
00:33:38,933 --> 00:33:41,853
Youse two get a pass on presents.
You're VIPs!

727
00:33:41,936 --> 00:33:45,023
After all, without you,
there's no Blissmas!

728
00:33:45,106 --> 00:33:47,859
Right, but what if,
and I'm just spitballing here,

729
00:33:47,942 --> 00:33:51,320
you tried giving presents
instead of getting them?

730
00:33:51,404 --> 00:33:53,573
Yeah, and then Blissmas would be perfect.

731
00:33:53,656 --> 00:33:54,782
Whoa.

732
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:57,201
I gotta think-squat-thrust about that one.

733
00:33:57,410 --> 00:34:00,204
Ho!  Ho!

734
00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:02,832
Ho!

735
00:34:02,915 --> 00:34:05,168
Yeah, okay, I'm good.
Good-good-good brain burn, there.

736
00:34:05,251 --> 00:34:06,127
Here's the deal.

737
00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:09,630
The spirit of Blissmas
is "go big or go home," am I right?

738
00:34:09,714 --> 00:34:11,466
-It is?
-Yep! And I never go home.

739
00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:15,011
Well, I go home after Blissmas.
But I'm here now, so you're on!

740
00:34:15,094 --> 00:34:16,012
-Really?
-Sure!

741
00:34:16,095 --> 00:34:19,223
All you have to do is win
the Blissmas Mechalition Derby!

742
00:34:19,307 --> 00:34:22,185
-Say what, now?
-Win the Blissmas Mechalition Derby!

743
00:34:22,268 --> 00:34:25,271
-Say what, now?
-Mechalition is the big kahuna

744
00:34:25,354 --> 00:34:26,397
of Blissmas traditions.

745
00:34:26,481 --> 00:34:29,859
If you guys defeat all the robots,
I'll do whatever you say!

746
00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:31,194
And if we lose?

747
00:34:31,277 --> 00:34:32,737
You join my elf team.

748
00:34:32,820 --> 00:34:36,532
After all, if it's not high-stakes,
it's not Blissmas.

749
00:34:36,616 --> 00:34:39,660
Uh, yeah. We so know robo.

750
00:34:39,744 --> 00:34:41,621
Right, we're so robo-gung-ho.

751
00:34:41,704 --> 00:34:42,872
Uh-oh. No, no.

752
00:34:42,955 --> 00:34:46,084
Like you two single cells
could ever defeat my robots.

753
00:34:46,542 --> 00:34:48,419
Melvin? You work for Santa?

754
00:34:48,503 --> 00:34:50,254
I don't work for anyone, entry levels.

755
00:34:50,338 --> 00:34:51,756
I'm a robo-consultant.

756
00:34:51,839 --> 00:34:53,591
So, no dental plan?

757
00:34:53,674 --> 00:34:54,967
I'm in it for the nog.

758
00:34:55,843 --> 00:34:57,428
Mm, gummy!

759
00:34:57,512 --> 00:35:01,474
I built robots and Santa gave me
all the remaining ham nog on Earth.

760
00:35:01,766 --> 00:35:03,059
Mm, oystery!

761
00:35:03,142 --> 00:35:05,978
I don't know why he likes it.
It tastes like fish fire!

762
00:35:06,062 --> 00:35:08,731
That's because those vile protein shakes
destroyed your taste buds,

763
00:35:08,815 --> 00:35:10,399
you hulking cry for help.

764
00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:14,612
I can't believe ham nog
is a thing in this timeline, too.

765
00:35:14,695 --> 00:35:17,031
Yeah. Maybe we should give it
another shot.

766
00:35:19,367 --> 00:35:22,370
-It's even worse than I remember.
- So gluey.

767
00:35:25,414 --> 00:35:28,334
Aw, come on.
We haven't even started yet.

768
00:35:28,417 --> 00:35:30,628
Sorry, buddy. I'll get some tape.

769
00:35:30,711 --> 00:35:32,547
This is a lot more dangerous
than I thought.

770
00:35:32,630 --> 00:35:35,925
-And we so don't know robo.
-Nope. We're robo no go.

771
00:35:36,008 --> 00:35:38,261
But who needs bots when you've got briefs?

772
00:35:40,096 --> 00:35:43,099
I told you, Steak or Break,
you'll never break me.

773
00:35:43,182 --> 00:35:45,852
I just wish I had more stomachs
and more steak.

774
00:35:45,935 --> 00:35:48,020
Krupp's here? Man, talk about luck.

775
00:35:48,104 --> 00:35:49,438
-Or lazy writing.

776
00:35:53,484 --> 00:35:54,986
But I got a steakache.

777
00:35:55,069 --> 00:35:56,696
Better put a steak on it.

778
00:35:56,779 --> 00:35:59,907
Captain Underpants, we need you
to win a robot demolition derby.

779
00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:01,367
But I'm not a robot.

780
00:36:01,450 --> 00:36:03,286
We can fix that with tin foil.

781
00:36:03,703 --> 00:36:05,079
-Fixed.
- I'll say!

782
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:06,789
I'm like a burrito now.

783
00:36:06,873 --> 00:36:09,125
Chapter Nine:
Season's Beatings.

784
00:36:09,542 --> 00:36:10,960
Mega Blissmas!

785
00:36:11,043 --> 00:36:16,507
Are you Blissmas bandits
melting down for Mechalition?

786
00:36:20,094 --> 00:36:22,722
Robots, take the battlefield!

787
00:36:34,650 --> 00:36:37,695
Okay, Cap, get out there
and show them who's ro-boss!

788
00:36:37,778 --> 00:36:38,613
Will do.

789
00:36:38,696 --> 00:36:41,574
But first, where's the ro-bathroom,
'cause I gotta ro-go.

790
00:36:41,657 --> 00:36:44,577
Not now. You gotta win
so Santa gives everyone presents again.

791
00:36:44,660 --> 00:36:47,163
And then everybody will love Blissmas
as much as we do.

792
00:36:47,246 --> 00:36:49,123
In case you forgot
why they were doing this.

793
00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:52,335
Okay, I'll try to ro-hold it,
but no promises.

794
00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:55,213
Hey, how's it going?

795
00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:57,298
You a robot here for the robot fight?

796
00:36:57,381 --> 00:36:59,926
Yeah, me, too.
You can tell 'cause I'm shiny.

797
00:37:00,509 --> 00:37:04,263
Mega Blissmas to all,
and to all a good fight!

798
00:37:14,774 --> 00:37:18,319
Ho-ho, I'm steaking you down! Nailed it!

799
00:37:18,402 --> 00:37:19,403
Huh?

800
00:37:19,779 --> 00:37:21,072
Hey, wait for me.

801
00:37:39,340 --> 00:37:41,008
No! My meat!

802
00:37:41,425 --> 00:37:44,553
That was a big mis-steak.

803
00:37:44,637 --> 00:37:46,305
Get it? 'Cause steak!

804
00:37:50,059 --> 00:37:52,144
-Captain Underpants, you did it!

805
00:37:52,228 --> 00:37:53,562
You saved Blissmas!

806
00:37:53,646 --> 00:37:55,356
This calls for a steak dinner!

807
00:37:55,439 --> 00:37:59,443
Ugh, I'm all steaked out,
but I left room for pie!

808
00:37:59,694 --> 00:38:01,112
Ho-ho-hold on!

809
00:38:01,195 --> 00:38:03,322
Santa? You look different.

810
00:38:03,406 --> 00:38:05,074
Did you get a new head, face, and body?

811
00:38:05,157 --> 00:38:07,201
I said you had to beat all the robots.

812
00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:08,744
He did beat all the robots.

813
00:38:08,828 --> 00:38:10,121
Not quite. Melvin!

814
00:38:10,204 --> 00:38:13,207
Behold, my greatest Blissmas robot.

815
00:38:16,168 --> 00:38:18,754
-Mechthehalls 2000!

816
00:38:18,963 --> 00:38:21,924
Heh, I forgot to mention,
I always win Mechalition

817
00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:25,094
because Blissmas is all about me!

818
00:38:25,177 --> 00:38:27,305
Yeah, he's definitely gonna win.

819
00:38:28,139 --> 00:38:30,599
Chapter Ten: The Incredibly
Graphic Violence Chapter

820
00:38:30,683 --> 00:38:34,437
presented in Deco-Rama, because
when it comes to robot Christmas trees,

821
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:36,147
if you can't beat 'em, decorate 'em.

822
00:38:36,689 --> 00:38:38,607
No cane, no gain.

823
00:38:38,691 --> 00:38:40,109
Get it? 'Cause--

824
00:38:40,359 --> 00:38:42,528
Watch out for these Santa claws.

825
00:38:42,611 --> 00:38:43,779
Meow--

826
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:46,115
And a jar on top.

827
00:38:46,198 --> 00:38:48,868
Wait, is it a jar or star?
I can't ever remembe--

828
00:38:49,994 --> 00:38:52,747
Yep, I'm getting my ham baked.

829
00:38:52,830 --> 00:38:55,791
But the good news is my mouth tastes
like a clean bathroom.

830
00:38:56,208 --> 00:38:58,669
-He's getting his jingle bells rung.

831
00:38:58,919 --> 00:39:00,796
-Of course.

832
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:03,841
What part of greatest Blissmas robot
was unclear?

833
00:39:03,924 --> 00:39:05,259
Mm, briny.

834
00:39:05,343 --> 00:39:08,179
Remember what that ham nog did
to Melvin's robot chair?

835
00:39:08,262 --> 00:39:10,097
-Yeah, it totally jacked it.
-Right!

836
00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:12,850
So maybe the nog will wreck the walls
for Mechthehalls.

837
00:39:12,933 --> 00:39:15,394
Yeah, but Melvin loves
that ashy, stretchy goop

838
00:39:15,478 --> 00:39:16,896
more than anything in the world.

839
00:39:16,979 --> 00:39:19,106
Small price to pay to save Blissmas.

840
00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:22,526
Captain Underpants,
you need to nog that tree!

841
00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:24,779
Okay! Beats losing.

842
00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:37,083
Nog!

843
00:39:37,750 --> 00:39:39,293
Five-second rule!

844
00:39:40,795 --> 00:39:42,671
We did it! We beat all the robots!

845
00:39:42,755 --> 00:39:45,633
So Santa will start giving presents
instead of getting them.

846
00:39:45,716 --> 00:39:47,843
- Just in case you forgot.

847
00:39:53,849 --> 00:39:55,768
Ho-ho-no, I won't!

848
00:39:55,851 --> 00:39:57,978
I'm not Santa Claus.

849
00:39:58,229 --> 00:40:00,439
I'm Mechanaclaus!

850
00:40:07,947 --> 00:40:08,864
Whoa!

851
00:40:09,198 --> 00:40:10,908
- Aah!
- It's okay.

852
00:40:10,991 --> 00:40:12,868
We can still save Blissmas.

853
00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:16,580
George, I see the light!

854
00:40:18,290 --> 00:40:21,001
That's a 5,000-watt
LED stadium floodlight.

855
00:40:21,085 --> 00:40:22,044
Kind of hard to miss.

856
00:40:22,128 --> 00:40:23,712
No, I mean this poem.

857
00:40:23,796 --> 00:40:24,964
I finally get it.

858
00:40:25,047 --> 00:40:27,633
We shouldn't be trying to save
Blissmas for ourselves.

859
00:40:27,716 --> 00:40:30,428
We should be trying to save Christmas
for everyone else.

860
00:40:43,649 --> 00:40:45,901
Oh! Now I get it.

861
00:40:45,985 --> 00:40:48,154
Yeah, and we broke Christmas.

862
00:40:48,237 --> 00:40:51,157
-So now we gotta fix it.
-By making sure everyone gets it.

863
00:40:51,532 --> 00:40:52,366
Even Santa.

864
00:40:54,910 --> 00:40:55,744
Whoa!

865
00:41:04,253 --> 00:41:06,839
Here comes a ho-ho-TKO!

866
00:41:06,922 --> 00:41:08,424
Right, because you're Santa

867
00:41:08,507 --> 00:41:10,634
and you're gonna punch me
until I'm unconscious.

868
00:41:12,678 --> 00:41:16,474
Ooh, my nose is glowing.
It's like a night-light for my head.

869
00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:21,937
"'Tis the eve 'fore the day
'twas Christmas.

870
00:41:22,021 --> 00:41:23,939
The village is brimming with cheer."

871
00:41:24,023 --> 00:41:28,861
There is no Christmas cheer,
only Blissmas fear!

872
00:41:28,944 --> 00:41:31,363
"The blacksmith is smithing,
the seamstress is seaming,

873
00:41:31,447 --> 00:41:33,115
for soon old Saint Nick will be here."

874
00:41:33,199 --> 00:41:34,241
No. No, he won't.

875
00:41:34,325 --> 00:41:36,785
I'm-I'm here! I'm Mechanaclaus!

876
00:41:36,869 --> 00:41:39,121
Hey, are you supposed to be
glowing like that?

877
00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:41,749
"Eight flying reindeer
a-pulling his sleigh."

878
00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:44,585
"Full of gifts to deliver all in one day."

879
00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:47,588
"He slips down the chimney
with nary a peep."

880
00:41:47,671 --> 00:41:50,758
"Then glides through the house
as the children still sleep."

881
00:41:50,966 --> 00:41:54,094
"He places the presents undar the tree."

882
00:41:54,178 --> 00:41:56,764
"Then helps himself to a cookie or three."

883
00:41:59,183 --> 00:42:02,603
"And with that, Santa whispers,
winking his eye,

884
00:42:02,686 --> 00:42:07,608
'Merry Christmas to everyone,'
and returns to the sky."

885
00:42:07,691 --> 00:42:10,653
And that was when Mechanaclaus
remembered it was his job

886
00:42:10,736 --> 00:42:13,739
to bring Christmas, not Blissmas,
to everyone.

887
00:42:13,822 --> 00:42:16,242
And a most wonderful thing happened.

888
00:42:16,325 --> 00:42:20,246
Mechanaclaus became
the Santa Claus he was meant to be.

889
00:42:20,329 --> 00:42:23,832
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

890
00:42:25,626 --> 00:42:27,253
Christmas is back, baby!

891
00:42:27,336 --> 00:42:29,338
And I have something for everyone.

892
00:42:29,421 --> 00:42:31,882
Elves, fire the giftzookas.

893
00:42:34,009 --> 00:42:34,969
Giftzookas?

894
00:42:35,052 --> 00:42:36,971
I guess a little Blissmas can't hurt.

895
00:42:38,514 --> 00:42:41,767
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah,
Blissmas blunt force trauma.

896
00:42:41,850 --> 00:42:44,103
Thank you, George and Harold,

897
00:42:44,186 --> 00:42:47,398
for reminding me
what Christmas was meant to be.

898
00:42:47,481 --> 00:42:50,693
I don't know what I was thinking
for the last 300 years.

899
00:42:50,776 --> 00:42:52,945
Well, it's kind of our fault

900
00:42:53,028 --> 00:42:55,281
'cause we went back in time
and gave you our comic.

901
00:42:55,364 --> 00:42:57,366
The point is Christmas is back.

902
00:42:57,449 --> 00:42:59,868
That's right. And what would you two
like for Christmas?

903
00:42:59,952 --> 00:43:01,787
-A hovercraft?

904
00:43:01,870 --> 00:43:04,707
-Or maybe a treehouse upgrade?

905
00:43:04,790 --> 00:43:07,668
Anything. Name it, and it's yours.

906
00:43:07,751 --> 00:43:09,878
Thanks for my giraffe guy, Santa!

907
00:43:09,962 --> 00:43:12,339
-Come on, Jeffraffe.

908
00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:20,014
'Tis the morn of the day
that is Christmas.

909
00:43:20,097 --> 00:43:21,974
Blissmas is no longer a thing.

910
00:43:22,182 --> 00:43:24,143
For Christmas
was already perfect,

911
00:43:24,226 --> 00:43:26,270
though Blissmas had lots of zing.

912
00:43:26,353 --> 00:43:27,938
And why is Christmas
so awesome?

913
00:43:28,355 --> 00:43:30,858
For a reason both simple and true.

914
00:43:31,066 --> 00:43:32,985
'Cause Christmas
is all about others

915
00:43:33,068 --> 00:43:34,653
instead of being all about you.

916
00:43:35,946 --> 00:43:37,364
-Uh...

917
00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:42,494
-Hammy holidays, Melvin.

918
00:43:42,578 --> 00:43:43,954
And to all a good nog.

919
00:43:44,038 --> 00:43:47,374
-You know, giving is better than getting.
- So youse don't want your present?

920
00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:50,377
Here you go, boys.
Compliments of the Jingle Boss.

921
00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:54,340
"You're invited to the premiere
of The Last Blissmas, a true story

922
00:43:54,423 --> 00:43:57,301
of how George Beard and Harold Hutchins
saved Christmas."

923
00:43:57,384 --> 00:43:59,762
"A Santa Claus film starring Lee Dingman"?

924
00:44:00,095 --> 00:44:02,056
George, Santa made a movie about us!

925
00:44:02,139 --> 00:44:03,849
That's even better than a TV show!

926
00:44:03,932 --> 00:44:07,186
No! Why won't this giraffe guy
leave me alone?

927
00:44:07,353 --> 00:44:09,688
We never stopped believing
in you, Santa.

928
00:44:09,772 --> 00:44:12,733
Even after you got jacked
and started dying your hair.

929
00:44:12,816 --> 00:44:15,527
Thanks, boys.
Now let's go celebrate Christmas.

930
00:44:17,613 --> 00:44:21,575
But first, let's fight this dinosaur
made of fire, for some reason.

931
00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:28,791
I'm in a movie!

932
00:44:29,124 --> 00:44:31,001
You really can't beat Christmas.

933
00:44:31,085 --> 00:44:33,504
Nope. You'd have to be nuts to even try.

934
00:44:33,587 --> 00:44:35,964
Handsome, smart, and funny, too.

935
00:44:36,048 --> 00:44:38,008
Whew! That line took forever!

936
00:44:38,092 --> 00:44:39,802
So, when does the movie start?

937
00:44:41,720 --> 00:44:42,805
Aw!