Thread 88: Stories 1-15

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~~~~~~~~

Sudden, sharp awareness shook the Changeling known only under the moniker Thirty-Two, like someone had opened the blinds to a dark and dreary bedroom to let in the searing, bright sun. The first thing he noticed was that he couldn't move, due to being strapped to a table with belts. The second thing he noticed was Sunset Shimmer was with him, looking at him with a half-lidded, seductive bedroom gaze she had only regaled him with once before, to his ongoing chagrin.

He was about to ask where he was, what she wanted and if she would need help being tied up once it was his turn, when she instead moved close enough for her barrel to brush against his lower body, all the way from her shoulders to her tail, which she flicked under his nose and left a faint, tantalizing scent of her body on him.

Despite his confusion, he shivered, breathing out in a short gasp when she ducked low and touched his left hindleg, slowly making her hoof wander up along it.

*SPLORCH!*

With a sickening crunch, the chitin and flesh of 32's left front leg broke under the tension applied to it by the suddenly wide-eyed, maniac mare who had captured him. While still the vision of beauty in amber, red and blonde he had remembered flirting with once, a long time ago, her eyes were anything but natural. Vertically slitted, beast-like pupils of emerald green were peering into his very soul, a muzzle adorned with sharp fangs opening so she could voice a demented giggle of delight while she rubbed erratic patterns in his own green blood over his chest with her hooves.

„What is the matter, Thirty-Two? Isn't this what you wanted? Me? ALL. FOR. YOUR. SELF.”

Sunset punctuated each of those last words with a slow, wrenching motion. Tearing into his wound, she intentionally produced spurts of green blood to shower her coat. If anything, the sensation only egged her on, and she began lapping at his face with her warm, wet tongue.

Yet despite his pain, the Changeling somehow managed to shake his head vehemently, trying to escape from the straps on his four limbs. Something dark, deep down in his soul, relished when she grabbed his skull in her green magic and made him face her so she could force a slow, seductive kiss on his lips. A kiss that sent a jolt through his body, tingling from the point where her lips were slowly suckling on his, all the way down to his loins.

An instant later, survival instincts kicked in.

He bit into her lip. Hard enough to pierce it and spill her blood. He could taste it all too well. The slightly coppery yet sweet taste of her lifeblood. And yet, wrenching her head away to wipe at where her red mingled with his green, Sunset Shimmer smirked, leaned in and purred into his ear.

“Mommy loves it when you play rough~”

In his mother's voice.

When she crouched and left a warm trail of wet, suckling kisses down his chest, he grunted. And when she pierced his chitin again, he screamed for her.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

~~~

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!”

Bottles clattered everywhere as one very hung-over, self-titled Ambassador of all Changelings jumps to his hooves, the shard of glass from the bottle he had accidentally broken when rolling onto it in his drunken stupor still stuck in his leg.

“Hooooh! Whoa.... whoooaah... that... what? Damn...”

It took him a moment to regain his wits, to realize he now was awake, and the vision of deadly beauty that had been the embodiment of his fears about Variolus and Sunset Shimmer was merely something haunting his dreams.

When he had managed to breath evenly, he voiced a sigh of relief and bent down his muzzle to pull the errant shard of glass out.

Hanging upside-down, muzzle open to pull out the shard, he beheld his own undercarriage. And the sight that greeted him made him realize that maybe... just maybe... this is why he was still single.

“............you have gone too far this time, boner.”

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NC
>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~

>Hey, Tia? Got a question.

"And I've apparently fallen back in time! QUICK! Find me and tell her to get out while the goings good!"

>Too late.

"DAMN!"

>But mah' question is...Do ya'll actually look at yer' sisters dreams?

"What? No, why would I?"

>...No reason, Ah' guess...

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Twilight"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and I get to pick someone to slap with a fish! Now for our main guest...Twilight!!!
Applause

"Hello everypony."

>Are you ready to- fish to the face!
She slaps Twilight in the face with a fish.

"OW! WHY DID YOU HIT ME IN THE FACE WITH A FISH?!"

>Because I said I would. I've been delivering on my prophecies.

"But what does that have to do with-"

>That's all the time we have! Here's your complementary fish!

Twilight wakes up to an animatronic big mouth bass singing 'Take me to the river'
>...why did Spike get that thing?

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~~~~~~

They were gathering.

At the foot of her castle, they were gathering. Big, small, from far and wide, they were gathering.

They brought their figures, they brought their character sheets, they brought their excitement and joy.

They brought them to her, their great deliverer. They brought them to her, their creator at this time.

They brought their desire to see Skeleton Mares driven before them, jelly monsters slain for XP, boss monsters felled for the glory and nothing more!

They brought them to her, the one who had created.

And as she looked upon her creation, she knew that indeed...

>...Yep! Looks good!

She had created.

They would enjoy.

This, was as it should be.

And thus-

>Okay, Spike, you can stop narrating now.

DON'T TAKE THIS FROM ME, MARE!

>It's just a bit overblown.

YOU'RE OVERBLOWN!

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>SA
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
[18]
{42}
^2^
~Mane-Iac~
-Sombra-
(Spitfire)
~~~~~~

>Will you stop poking me! I am trying to work! I'm making magic, here!

"You called it crunchy cinnamon toast."

^His crunchy cinna toast IS magic!^

~Right? Can't you see why Two loves his cruchy cinnamon toast?~

"...It's sparkly and shiny?"

'~^NO!^~'

^It's cause it's got cinnamonny sugary swirls in every bite!^

~Silly Insectoria!~

They threw their heads back, and laughed.

"...Ignoring that-"

(Seriously!? We're just ignoring that.)

-It's for the best, trust me.-

'What's the rush, though?'

>Twilight said we're going to need full stomachs before we do this big game idea she has planned.

"He said, part of the one third of this table that needs to eat."

>Fine, then you don't get any.

"Retracted!"

[Ohhh, this is so exciting, isn't it!? We're going to be beta testing a big scale match!]

{I'm rather weary about it, to be honest. I feel like those many, many, many hours I spent fine tuning my figurines no longer matter.}

"Sure, NOW that doesn't matter-OW!"

-Do not besmirch art! It takes time! And effort!-

"And a lack of a personal life-OW!"

{...I have a life...}

(So, why am I here? I'm not going with you guys.)

>Because it's breakfast with the family.

(...aw...)

~AHHHAHAHAH! It pities me that I cannot JOIN you in the GLOOORUIOUS battle of CHAOS!~

>Sorry, Maney, she doesn't know how someone with your... nature.... is going to react to the false reality, you might skew the initial results.

-Likewise, incorporeal nature is sure to do no favors for the physical aspect of this.-

"HAH!"

-...-

"You all heard nothing."

'Twilight has something for... her, right?'

[You mean a leash and possibly some tasers?]

"..."



"I didn't say anything, get your head out of the gutter."

>Enough talk! It is time to add my final ingredient! CADENCE! The brown sugar blend!

'Here you go Sweet-whoops!... Oops! Spilled a little on the corner of the pan. Well, no big, it's not like it got on any of the foo-'

*SCREEEEECCCCCHHH!*

'HOW!? HOW COULD... IT DIDN'T EVEN... WHAT KIND OF SENSE DOES THAT MAKE!?'

>"[-~(^...^)~-]"

'DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME HOW IS THIS MY FAULT!?'

>Honey, it's okay... Forty Two? Want to help me punch it dea-

^RAWWRRRRRRR!^

*CHOMP!*

>Or Two could just bite it to death, whichever.

(...I willingly came here... just remember that, Spitfire, you WILLINGLY came into this room...)

~AHHHAHAHAHA! I KNOW! IT'S GREEEEEAT, ISN'T IT!?~

(...Yes, crazy comic book supervillain, yes it is.)

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>Pinkie
"Spike"
'Twilight'
~~~~~~~~~

>Has she been doing that this whole time?

'MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!'

"What, the throwing back her head and cackling evil like thing?"

>That is what is drawing my attention, yes.

'MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!'

"Pretty much non-stop."

>Just checking.

'MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!'

"You don't seem worried."

>Worried!? I'm even more excited than I was before! And that's hard to do! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

'MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!'

"...I'm not even worried, it's probably going to be fun."

>'MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!'

"Yep. Mwhahaha."

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>Dash
"Fleetfoot"
'Soarin'
~~~~~

"Sooooo... how long is this going to take?"

>I dunno, a day? Couple hours? It's just a game.

'But you're still going to go do it.'

>Pfft, yeah! It's going to be awesome!

"Yep. Sure sounds awesome.'

>Bessssiiiides, most of the fliers are still hungover post Hearth's Warming, I'm being a pretty generous boss letting them relax like this!

'Really generous, boss.'

>And pfft, what's going to happen in one day when absolutely nobody is around anymore?

"Doubt much of anything."

>Besides, you two have this, you've been Wonderbolts forever! Yep! It'll be peachy keen.

'Totally peachy keen.'

>Whelp! I'm off to go have an amazing adventure with my friends!

"You mean the princesses, owners of floating islands, and rulers of foreign kingdoms and or generals of foreign armies."

>Yep, those are the ones! My best friends... Later!

"..."

'...'

"...Soarin', your eye is bleeding."

'How about that.'

"...Go nuts?"

'Lets get nuts.'

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 >Rarity
"Fluttershy"
~~~~

>Oh my! How exciting! This is going to be quite the treat, isn't it?... So long as she properly programmed in the lore. I swear to Celestia if there is one single character out of the lore present in that place I will... I will give sternly worded criticisms so fast her head will spin!

"Uh huh..."

>...Fluttershy? Darling, whatever is the matter? Aren't you excited?

"Well, I am a little bit, because we're all going to be having fun, but... I'm also kind of worried that-"

>Flutteshy? Hush, hush and worry no more! This is not the time for drama, tis the time for fun!

"Well, I mean, sure... but what if-"

>Then we'll easily and painlessly handle it, and it'll all be back to normal soon enough.

"But what if-"

>Then we summon Chrysalis like the worlds worst possible answer to 'who do you call when a fire is happening' save perhaps Fifty Six, of Fifty Five... pretty much any changeling in the fifty odd range, I think they're all secretly pyromanics.

"..."

>Anywhoo, we call her, she does her ghastly little thing, and we continue on like nothing happened! No worries, no anger, a quick hiccup and we're on our way!

"...You sound so sure?"

Sternly, Rarity grabbed hold of her, and looked her in the eye.

>Fluttershy?... I am sure.

"...Okay."

>Okay?

"Okay! Yeah! This... this'll be fun!"

>Spledid, darling! Now, who do you have in mind for your character?

"Oh, um... you'll learn with everyone else."

>No doubt some animal tamer or something, come come! Off to our little adventure! Just like old times!

"Yeah... just like old times."

>Is something the matter?

Subtly, Fluttershy shifted her gaze away from Rarity's wings.

"...no, it isn't. Let's go."

>And we're off!

"..."

>Seriously, ONE LINE and-

"I got it."

>Just wanted to make that clear.

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>Twilight
"Applejack"
'Celestia'
~~~~~

"...So run this by me again."

After trying to explain it no less than three times, there were a lot of things Twilight was ready to 'run by her' again.

And over her... and possibly through her.

But for now she was just content to try again, because there's no famous saying about that or anything.

>It's really simple. With this, we're essentially simulating us in a whole other place, and changing the air around our bodies to simulate armor! We simulate everything, from wide open spaces to castle interiors!

"...What part'a what ya'll just said sounds simple to you?"

The tall, alabaster princess chuckled, shifting past her with a regal ease to look over the keyboard in front of her. She looked like she very clearly understood it.

Even Twilight and Applejack knew that was as much as a little white lie as her backside was a 'little white ass'.

'It all sounds simple to me.'

"Don't be pretendin' ya'll understand any of this."

'Oh, of course I do.'

"..."

'...Magic!'

"..."

>Er, well, she's not wrong. That's really, really oversimplifying it, but she's not wrong.

"So, wait, iffin' the rooms only this small, how're we going to simulate any of this here walkin'?"

>First off, my advanced subspace room is in a hollowed out Zeppelin air hanger, I don't see how this qualifies as 'small'. Second, we're not, we're going to SIMULATE walking.

"But we'll feel it."

>Every blade of grass!

"And we'll still get tired like we were walkin'."

>Yep!

"...Ah' feel like Ah' wasn't meant ta' understand this here world anymore..."

'Oh, come now! Simulations! With magic! It's not that complicated.'

"Oh yeah? You do somethin' like it."

'...Why would I do that? Twilight already did it. Really now, why double down on something like this?'

Her shifty eyes no doubt made perfect sense to everyone in the room. This, she was totally certain of, they no doubt thought she was tracking a particularly spy little bee of some kind.

"Uh huh... ya' know what? Ah'm not gonna question it. Ah' don't question mah' toaster, Ah' don't question how a lightbulb works, Ah' ain't gonna question this."

>Okay, those two literally work off the same principal, so...

"Then why can't Ah' see at night when Ah' toast, huh?"

>...

"HA! Check and mate, win ta' Applejack!"

>...

'Let her have this.'

"Let me have this."

>Letting you have this. SO! Further more, we are going to have to take specific precautions.

"Ah' thought ya'll said this was safe?"

>Perfectly safe, you could be torn in half in this thing and you wouldn't even have a misplaced hair when you got out!

Applejack was not a subtle mare.

She saw no reason to change this with the stupefied, flat look she gave her closest friend.

>...Did I also mention I'm not simulating pain past a certain threshold? You'll still be able to feel it if someone hits you, but uh... there's limits.

"First thing Ah' understood this whole day."

'So, no worries that we're going to simulate our own deaths?'

>Nope!

'No worries that we're going to think this is real?'

>None at all!

'...Why didn't we do this in the first place?'

>Because this was supposed to be a way to test scientific information, not be a really big arcade machine.

"...Ah' like it bein' an arcade machine better."

'Yes, this seems like a much more useful use of your time!'

"Should'a just been like 'arcade machine!' at the start."

'Right? Science can take a backseat here.

She tried not to let a part of her die right there.

But no mental defibrillation would keep it alive.

>This is why our schools are third in the major rankings.

"Wait, what? Who's better than us?"

'I swear if it's the Empire-'

>What? No, they're fourth.

'...We're ahead of them?'

>Yes, we are, by-

'WOOHOO!'

>...

'Old habits.'

"Can we get back ta' our education-"

'NO! Focus on the giant game machine!'

"Come on Twi, don't ya' wanna talk about school reforms?"

'Naah, blow her off, we're going to be having some real fun! I bet this is going to be the best day ever!'

"Ya'll need ta' worry about-"

>Why are you both on my shoulders like that?

Both mares paused, absently shifting their cheeks coats against Twilight's own, stunned for a moment before awkwardly shifting back, away from her.

"...So, everythin' is gonna be looked after, right?"

'Checked, double checked and triple checked! Everything in the castle is going to go perfectly smoothly while we have our day of fun.'

"Well, okay, so long as it ain't gonna crumbl-"

'SHHHHHHH!'

"..."

'If you jinx this for me, I will eat your wings, I am not kidding. I want to have some fun mom-dammit!'

"Yer' mom probably don't appreciate that."

'And I don't like it when you all say "I swear to Celestia" or something, but you keep doing it!'

"...Back on topic, we good?"

>Oh yes, we're good. And we're all going to have... a woooonderful time.... mwahahah... mwahaahhah... MWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHHHHHHH!

"M'kay."

'Sounds delightful!'

>...Can you at least pretend to be worried when I do that?

"Nope."

'I find it adorable.'

>...I need to take lessons from Chrysalis-

"'NO!'"

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NC
~~~

"But can Princess Celestia see why we love his cruchy cinnamon toast?"

"Because it shines like the sun?"

"Noooo! Because it's got cinnamon sugar swirls in every bite!"

"Illuminating!"

~~~~~~

"But can Rainbow Dash see why we love his cruchy cinnamon toast?"

"Is it because it has tracklines?"

"Noooooo! Because it's got cinnamon sugar swirls in every bite!"

"Wow, even I can't keep up!"

~~~~

"But can princess Applejack see why we love his crunchy cinnamon toast?"

"...is... is it the cinnamon?"

"..."

"...Ah' like cinnamon too. On apples, mostly, but.... is that right?"

"...Crap."

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NC
>Faust
"???"

"Honey I'm noticing you're a biiiit harsh on the Pink one..."

>She knows what she did.

"...isn't she technically like our grand niece?"

>Shhhhh. Just let it happen.

"But-"

>Hey look Lavan's asteroid's coming around again.

"WHAT!? HAVE AT THEE!"

Shoom!

>Now, back to work~

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 >Actarius
"JJ"
~~~~

>...Soooo... that was something.

"That got loud."

>Very, very loud.

"And a little painful!"

>Just a little... for you I assume.

"Your old bed is more useful than you let on."

>Yeah, glad they didn't get rid of it. Needed something there.

"Do you think your parents are going to let me come back?"

>You know, I dunno, we'll put that one in the maybe pile, mom looked pretty shocked.

"Your dad didn't seem to mind, aside from her reaction."

>Dad has seen some shit in his day. That probably didn't shock him none.

"...Sorry."

>Hey, not your fault, it was a totally normal reaction to have considering the circumstances, you didn't know they were going to hear.

"I realize now, in the heat of the moment, I didn't care."

>...they did.

"Yeah, they did."

>...But uh, JJ?

"Got'cha."

>Swear to me, buddy.

"Sigh... I solemnly swear if we ever accidentally walk in on your brother making out with a prostitute on your old bed to get back at his ex, I will not, I swear, I will not go "NOICE!" and try to bro-hoof him with your parents there."

>I thank you.

"...Your brother hoofed me back."

>Yeeeeah, that's why he's going to be staying with me till he goes back...

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 >Twilight
"AJ"
'Celestia'
[Spike]
{Pinkie}
~???~
~~~~

>GENTLECOLTS! I present to yo- hey! Where is everyone!?

"Still getting here."

'Shiny mentioned dropping off your niece with their parents, and obviously everyone had to go with him for that, so that's first.'

[Theeen Dash had to do something with the Wonderbolts, hopefully work.]

{And finally, Rarity and Fluttershy are doing something cute before they come over here!}

[...go oooon.]

"SPIKE!"

[You said it, not me!]

>So that just leaaaavees....

'...Nobody, that's the whole list.'

>That just leeeeaves...

[Is she asking us? I feel like she's waiting for us.]

>That... just... leeeeeavessssss...

{WHO!? WHO DOES THAT LEAVE THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME AND ALSO MAKING ME SHAKE SPIKE REALLY HARD!}

[P-p-p-p-pleeaeeasstoooo-o-o-oooop!]

>That... just... leaves...

~Hey, um... is it too late for the-~

>There he is!

{GASP! OH MY GOSH I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING!}

[...Poindexter!?]

The nerdy stallion shrugged, adjusting his glasses just a bit.

~Hey, guys...~

[Ho, shit, didn't think you'd show up considering, uh...]

~Yeah, well. You know...~

>PERFECT! Now we are completely symmetrical!

"...Come again?"

>Seven on each side! Shiny, Cadence, Chrysalis, 18, 42, Celestia and Poindexter, Versus us six and Spike!

~Erm, actually-~

"Wait, hold up... so who's runnin' this thing?"

>...Come again?

"Iffin' Spike's gonna be with us this time and all of us are on a team, who's runnin' the whole show?"

>Oh, Applejack, did you really think I wouldn't plan for that? I planned for everything! That's easy! It's, uh... uh... it's... iiiiitt's.....

"'[{~...~}'"

>...FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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>Pommel
"Daw"

>Mmmph...Morning.

"Mmm...g'morning. Sleep well?"

>Like a log...what time is it?

"Gettin' close ta 'Get your arse outta bed' o'clock."

>Alright, I'm up, I'm up. Unngh...

"Sore, are we?"

>In the best way possible.

"Fantas-"

>OH SHIT!

"What?"

>...did we use a condom last night?

"Hm? Oh aye aye, don't worry. Also, yer lad what pals around with the alien was here, said he'd be waiting fer ya to see how he's goin' ta train yer flyers."

>How long ago was that?

"'bout an hour or two ago."

>OH FUCK! GOTTAGOLOVEYOUBYE!

Whoosh.

"..."

Whoosh.

>ARMOR!

Clankclankclank.

WHOOSH!

"Heh, silly bugger...now what'n the feck is a condom?"

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 >SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~~

>Stop it.

"No."

>Stop it.

"No."

>Stop it.

"Make me."

>Stop it.

"I'll stop it when I feel like it."

>Stop it.

"NEVER!"

>Stop it.

"Fiiiine..."

>...

"...Honk."

>I feel like this is somehow a succulent representation of our relationship.

"Oh, you read too much into stuff. Now shut up while I ring the doorbell again!"

>My parents would have heard you the first time.

"We've got stuff to do!"

>...This is why they never come visit.

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