SHARE
TWEET

Ted (2012)

tpbolon Feb 23rd, 2019 133 Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1. 1
  2. 00:00:05,168 --> 00:00:30,168
  3. Subtitle Created By Sahos from Subscene. com.
  4. Please Dont' Forget to Rate.
  5.  
  6. 2
  7. 00:00:33,368 --> 00:00:37,247
  8. <i>NARRATOR: It has been said that</i>
  9. <i>magic vanished from our world</i>
  10.  
  11. 3
  12. 00:00:37,330 --> 00:00:38,665
  13. <i>a long time ago,</i>
  14.  
  15. 4
  16. 00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:42,710
  17. <i>and that humanity can no</i>
  18. <i>longer fulfill its desires</i>
  19.  
  20. 5
  21. 00:00:42,794 --> 00:00:44,837
  22. <i>through the power of wishes.</i>
  23.  
  24. 6
  25. 00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:49,008
  26. <i>To those who have lost the</i>
  27. <i>wondrous vision of childhood eyes,</i>
  28.  
  29. 7
  30. 00:00:49,133 --> 00:00:52,929
  31. <i>submitted here is</i>
  32. <i>the story of a little boy</i>
  33.  
  34. 8
  35. 00:00:53,012 --> 00:00:55,431
  36. <i>and a magical</i>
  37. <i>Christmas wish</i>
  38.  
  39. 9
  40. 00:00:55,515 --> 00:00:58,560
  41. <i>that changed</i>
  42. <i>his life forever.</i>
  43.  
  44. 10
  45. 00:01:01,479 --> 00:01:06,150
  46. <i>It began in 1985, in a</i>
  47. <i>town just outside Boston.</i>
  48.  
  49. 11
  50. 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:12,282
  51. <i>It was Christmas Eve, and all the</i>
  52. <i>children were in high spirits.</i>
  53.  
  54. 12
  55. 00:01:12,365 --> 00:01:14,450
  56. <i>That special time of year</i>
  57.  
  58. 13
  59. 00:01:14,534 --> 00:01:16,786
  60. <i>when Boston children</i>
  61. <i>gather together</i>
  62.  
  63. 14
  64. 00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:18,705
  65. <i>and beat up the Jewish kids.</i>
  66.  
  67. 15
  68. 00:01:18,830 --> 00:01:19,998
  69. Hey, Greenbaum!
  70.  
  71. 16
  72. 00:01:20,290 --> 00:01:21,291
  73. Uh-oh.
  74.  
  75. 17
  76. 00:01:21,374 --> 00:01:22,375
  77. Get him!
  78.  
  79. 18
  80. 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,002
  81. (KIDS YELLING)
  82.  
  83. 19
  84. 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:30,425
  85. <i>But there was one child who</i>
  86. <i>wasn't in such good spirits.</i>
  87.  
  88. 20
  89. 00:01:30,508 --> 00:01:32,260
  90. <i>Little John Bennett,</i>
  91.  
  92. 21
  93. 00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:34,512
  94. <i>that one boy in</i>
  95. <i>every neighborhood</i>
  96.  
  97. 22
  98. 00:01:34,596 --> 00:01:37,307
  99. <i>who just has a tough time</i>
  100. <i>making friends.</i>
  101.  
  102. 23
  103. 00:01:37,682 --> 00:01:39,225
  104. Hey, GUYS, can I play?
  105.  
  106. 24
  107. 00:01:39,309 --> 00:01:40,435
  108. Get out of here, Bennett.
  109.  
  110. 25
  111. 00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:41,561
  112. Get lost, Bennett!
  113.  
  114. 26
  115. 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:42,604
  116. Get out of here, Bennett!
  117.  
  118. 27
  119. 00:01:42,687 --> 00:01:44,188
  120. Yeah, Bennett
  121. get lost.
  122.  
  123. 28
  124. 00:01:44,522 --> 00:01:45,898
  125. (YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
  126.  
  127. 29
  128. 00:01:47,317 --> 00:01:49,694
  129. <i>John longed</i>
  130. <i>with all his heart</i>
  131.  
  132. 30
  133. 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:52,989
  134. <i>for that one, true friend</i>
  135. <i>that he could call his own.</i>
  136.  
  137. 31
  138. 00:01:53,531 --> 00:01:57,285
  139. <i>And he knew that if he</i>
  140. <i>ever found that friend,</i>
  141.  
  142. 32
  143. 00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:59,412
  144. <i>he would never let him go.</i>
  145.  
  146. 33
  147. 00:02:01,831 --> 00:02:06,210
  148. <i>Well, as it does every year,</i>
  149. <i>Christmas morning finally came.</i>
  150.  
  151. 34
  152. 00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:10,548
  153. <i>All the children were opening</i>
  154. <i>their gifts with holiday glee.</i>
  155.  
  156. 35
  157. 00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:20,058
  158. <i>And for little John Bennett,</i>
  159.  
  160. 36
  161. 00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:24,729
  162. <i>Christmas Day brought a</i>
  163. <i>very special new arrival.</i>
  164.  
  165. 37
  166. 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,611
  167. Wow!
  168. (JOHN'S DAD CHUCKLES)
  169.  
  170. 38
  171. 00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:34,405
  172. I guess Santa paid attention to
  173. how good you were this year, huh?
  174.  
  175. 39
  176. 00:02:34,489 --> 00:02:36,407
  177. Aw! Merry Christmas, John.
  178.  
  179. 40
  180. 00:02:37,492 --> 00:02:38,618
  181. RECORDED TOY VOICE:
  182. <i>I love you!</i>
  183.  
  184. 41
  185. 00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,620
  186. He talks!
  187.  
  188. 42
  189. 00:02:40,745 --> 00:02:41,913
  190. (JOHN'S DAD LAUGHS)
  191.  
  192. 43
  193. 00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:44,374
  194. I'm going to
  195. name you Teddy.
  196.  
  197. 44
  198. 00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:50,171
  199. <i>NARRATOR: John became</i>
  200. <i>instantly attached to Teddy.</i>
  201.  
  202. 45
  203. 00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:52,799
  204. <i>There was something</i>
  205. <i>about that bear</i>
  206.  
  207. 46
  208. 00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:56,344
  209. <i>that made him feel as if</i>
  210. <i>he finally had a friend</i>
  211.  
  212. 47
  213. 00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:59,806
  214. <i>with whom he could share</i>
  215. <i>his deepest secrets.</i>
  216.  
  217. 48
  218. 00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:01,307
  219. RECORDED TOY VOICE:
  220. <i>I love you!</i>
  221.  
  222. 49
  223. 00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:03,935
  224. I love you, too, Teddy.
  225.  
  226. 50
  227. 00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:08,564
  228. You know, I wish you
  229. could really talk to me.
  230.  
  231. 51
  232. 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:12,902
  233. Because then, we could be best
  234. friends forever and ever.
  235.  
  236. 52
  237. 00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:16,989
  238. <i>NARRATOR: Now, if there's one</i>
  239. <i>thing you can be sure of,</i>
  240.  
  241. 53
  242. 00:03:17,073 --> 00:03:21,828
  243. <i>it's that nothing is more</i>
  244. <i>powerful than a young boy's wish.</i>
  245.  
  246. 54
  247. 00:03:22,412 --> 00:03:24,539
  248. <i>Except an Apache helicopter.</i>
  249.  
  250. 55
  251. 00:03:24,622 --> 00:03:28,126
  252. <i>An Apache helicopter has</i>
  253. <i>machine guns and missiles.</i>
  254.  
  255. 56
  256. 00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:31,879
  257. <i>It is an unbelievably impressive</i>
  258. <i>complement of weaponry,</i>
  259.  
  260. 57
  261. 00:03:31,963 --> 00:03:34,924
  262. <i>an absolute death machine.</i>
  263.  
  264. 58
  265. 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,552
  266. <i>Well, as it turned out,</i>
  267.  
  268. 59
  269. 00:03:37,635 --> 00:03:41,097
  270. <i>John picked the perfect</i>
  271. <i>night to make a wish.</i>
  272.  
  273. 60
  274. 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:19,969
  275. Teddy?
  276.  
  277. 61
  278. 00:04:23,806 --> 00:04:25,099
  279. Teddy?
  280.  
  281. 62
  282. 00:04:29,562 --> 00:04:30,646
  283. Teddy?
  284.  
  285. 63
  286. 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:40,156
  287. Hug me.
  288.  
  289. 64
  290. 00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:41,282
  291. (SCREAMS)
  292.  
  293. 65
  294. 00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,576
  295. You're my best friend, John.
  296.  
  297. 66
  298. 00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:46,412
  299. Did you...
  300. Did you just talk?
  301.  
  302. 67
  303. 00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:47,955
  304. Don't look so surprised.
  305.  
  306. 68
  307. 00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:50,124
  308. You're the one who wished
  309. for it, aren't you?
  310.  
  311. 69
  312. 00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:54,337
  313. Yeah.
  314. I did wish for it.
  315.  
  316. 70
  317. 00:04:54,629 --> 00:04:56,297
  318. Well, here I am.
  319.  
  320. 71
  321. 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:59,425
  322. You mean, we get to be
  323. best friends for real?
  324.  
  325. 72
  326. 00:04:59,509 --> 00:05:00,843
  327. For real.
  328.  
  329. 73
  330. 00:05:01,052 --> 00:05:02,303
  331. Forever and ever?
  332.  
  333. 74
  334. 00:05:02,595 --> 00:05:03,888
  335. Sounds good to me.
  336.  
  337. 75
  338. 00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:08,851
  339. <i>NARRATOR: John was just about</i>
  340. <i>the happiest boy in the world</i>
  341.  
  342. 76
  343. 00:05:08,935 --> 00:05:12,438
  344. <i>and he couldn't wait to tell</i>
  345. <i>everyone the good news.</i>
  346.  
  347. 77
  348. 00:05:12,772 --> 00:05:15,566
  349. Mom, Dad, guess what?
  350. My teddy bear's alive!
  351.  
  352. 78
  353. 00:05:15,650 --> 00:05:16,818
  354. (CHUCKLES)
  355.  
  356. 79
  357. 00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,653
  358. Really? Well, isn't
  359. that exciting.
  360.  
  361. 80
  362. 00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:21,113
  363. No, Mom, he's really alive.
  364. Look.
  365.  
  366. 81
  367. 00:05:21,823 --> 00:05:23,658
  368. Merry Christmas,
  369. everybody.
  370.  
  371. 82
  372. 00:05:24,242 --> 00:05:25,326
  373. (SCREAMING)
  374. (DISHES SHATTERING)
  375.  
  376. 83
  377. 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,494
  378. Jesus H. Fuck!
  379.  
  380. 84
  381. 00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,204
  382. Let's all be best friends.
  383.  
  384. 85
  385. 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:29,288
  386. Oh, my God!
  387.  
  388. 86
  389. 00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:31,374
  390. John, get away from that thing.
  391. Get over here right now.
  392.  
  393. 87
  394. 00:05:31,457 --> 00:05:32,959
  395. But, Dad...
  396. Get over here!
  397.  
  398. 88
  399. 00:05:33,251 --> 00:05:34,585
  400. JOHN'S MOM: Listen to your father!
  401. Come here!
  402.  
  403. 89
  404. 00:05:34,669 --> 00:05:36,546
  405. Helen, get my gun.
  406. Dad, no!
  407.  
  408. 90
  409. 00:05:36,629 --> 00:05:37,797
  410. Is it a hugging gun?
  411.  
  412. 91
  413. 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,465
  414. Helen, get my gun,
  415. and call the police!
  416.  
  417. 92
  418. 00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:42,802
  419. I'm sorry, Mr. Bennett, I
  420. didn't mean to scare anybody.
  421.  
  422. 93
  423. 00:05:42,969 --> 00:05:45,054
  424. I just wanted John
  425. and I to be friends.
  426.  
  427. 94
  428. 00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:48,599
  429. Yeah, Dad, I made a wish last
  430. night that Teddy was alive
  431.  
  432. 95
  433. 00:05:48,683 --> 00:05:49,976
  434. and my wish came true.
  435.  
  436. 96
  437. 00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:53,437
  438. Oh, my God!
  439.  
  440. 97
  441. 00:05:54,689 --> 00:05:56,315
  442. It's a miracle.
  443.  
  444. 98
  445. 00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:59,777
  446. It's a Christmas miracle.
  447.  
  448. 99
  449. 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:03,114
  450. You're just like
  451. the Baby Jesus.
  452.  
  453. 100
  454. 00:06:03,698 --> 00:06:07,785
  455. <i>NARRATOR: Well, it wasn't long before</i>
  456. <i>the story of John's little miracle</i>
  457.  
  458. 101
  459. 00:06:07,869 --> 00:06:09,620
  460. <i>was sweeping the nation.</i>
  461.  
  462. 102
  463. 00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:11,038
  464. Out of a Boston suburb
  465.  
  466. 103
  467. 00:06:11,122 --> 00:06:13,916
  468. comes what is, without a doubt,
  469. the most incredible story...
  470.  
  471. 104
  472. 00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,877
  473. A young boy's stuffed animal
  474.  
  475. 105
  476. 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,588
  477. has magically come to life for,
  478. as yet, unknown reasons...
  479.  
  480. 106
  481. 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:23,342
  482. Look what Jesus did! Look what Jesus did!
  483. Look what Jesus did!
  484.  
  485. 107
  486. 00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:27,555
  487. <i>NARRATOR: Before long, Teddy</i>
  488. <i>had become a huge celebrity</i>
  489.  
  490. 108
  491. 00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:29,056
  492. <i>in his own right.</i>
  493.  
  494. 109
  495. 00:06:29,307 --> 00:06:30,433
  496. (APPLAUSE)
  497.  
  498. 110
  499. 00:06:34,312 --> 00:06:35,479
  500. Hello, Teddy.
  501.  
  502. 111
  503. 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:42,403
  504. (CHUCKLING) You... you are a...
  505. You surprise me.
  506.  
  507. 112
  508. 00:06:43,029 --> 00:06:45,239
  509. For some reason I thought you
  510. were going to be taller.
  511.  
  512. 113
  513. 00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:47,742
  514. I thought you were
  515. going to be funnier.
  516.  
  517. 114
  518. 00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:49,118
  519. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
  520.  
  521. 115
  522. 00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:53,789
  523. <i>NARRATOR: But through</i>
  524. <i>all the fame,</i>
  525.  
  526. 116
  527. 00:06:53,873 --> 00:06:57,960
  528. <i>Teddy never forgot</i>
  529. <i>his very best friend, John.</i>
  530.  
  531. 117
  532. 00:06:58,044 --> 00:07:00,671
  533. The thunder
  534. can't get us, right?
  535.  
  536. 118
  537. 00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:04,425
  538. Nope, we're thunder buddies,
  539. and the thunder knows it.
  540.  
  541. 119
  542. 00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:06,010
  543. We're totally safe.
  544. (THUNDER RUMBLING)
  545.  
  546. 120
  547. 00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:07,970
  548. Teddy?
  549.  
  550. 121
  551. 00:07:08,304 --> 00:07:09,305
  552. Yeah, John?
  553.  
  554. 122
  555. 00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:12,058
  556. Do you promise we'll
  557. always be together?
  558.  
  559. 123
  560. 00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:14,101
  561. I promise.
  562.  
  563. 124
  564. 00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:15,978
  565. (THUNDER CRASHES LOUDLY)
  566.  
  567. 125
  568. 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:19,023
  569. Thunder buddies for life.
  570.  
  571. 126
  572. 00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:22,151
  573. Thunder buddies for life.
  574.  
  575. 127
  576. 00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:28,574
  577. <i>And that was a promise that</i>
  578. <i>neither one of them ever forgot.</i>
  579.  
  580. 128
  581. 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:32,620
  582. <i>So, where are</i>
  583. <i>John and Teddy today?</i>
  584.  
  585. 129
  586. 00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:34,789
  587. <i>Well, let me</i>
  588. <i>put it this way.</i>
  589.  
  590. 130
  591. 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:38,084
  592. <i>No matter how big a splash</i>
  593. <i>you make in this world,</i>
  594.  
  595. 131
  596. 00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:42,088
  597. <i>whether you're Corey Feldman,</i>
  598. <i>Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber,</i>
  599.  
  600. 132
  601. 00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:44,006
  602. <i>or a talking teddy bear,</i>
  603.  
  604. 133
  605. 00:07:44,090 --> 00:07:46,717
  606. <i>eventually,</i>
  607. <i>nobody gives a shit.</i>
  608.  
  609. 134
  610. 00:10:12,196 --> 00:10:13,447
  611. (WATER BUBBLING)
  612.  
  613. 135
  614. 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:19,912
  615. (COUGHS)
  616.  
  617. 136
  618. 00:10:20,246 --> 00:10:22,039
  619. <i>Do I dare look</i>
  620. <i>at the clock?</i>
  621.  
  622. 137
  623. 00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:26,168
  624. Look, all I'm saying is that
  625. Boston women are, on the whole,
  626.  
  627. 138
  628. 00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:29,630
  629. a paler, uglier sort than women
  630. from the elsewheres of life.
  631.  
  632. 139
  633. 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,382
  634. That's bullshit. What about Lori?
  635. She's hot.
  636.  
  637. 140
  638. 00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,551
  639. No, Lori's from Pennsylvania.
  640. That's not a Boston girl.
  641.  
  642. 141
  643. 00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:34,718
  644. They're not that bad.
  645.  
  646. 142
  647. 00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:37,138
  648. See, the fact that you have
  649. to say they're not that bad
  650.  
  651. 143
  652. 00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:38,556
  653. means that
  654. they are that bad.
  655.  
  656. 144
  657. 00:10:38,848 --> 00:10:40,933
  658. Did you ever hear a Boston
  659. girl have an orgasm?
  660.  
  661. 145
  662. 00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:45,354
  663. (IN BOSTON ACCENT) Oh, yeah, oh, yeah!
  664. Harder! Harder!
  665.  
  666. 146
  667. 00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:47,356
  668. Oh, God,
  669. that was so good!
  670.  
  671. 147
  672. 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:50,651
  673. Now I'm going to stuff my fucking
  674. face with Pepperidge Farm!
  675.  
  676. 148
  677. 00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:53,279
  678. (COUGHS)
  679.  
  680. 149
  681. 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,447
  682. Jesus, this is weak.
  683.  
  684. 150
  685. 00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:59,118
  686. It's not even getting me high. I got
  687. to have a talk with my weed guy.
  688.  
  689. 151
  690. 00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:00,202
  691. It's working for me.
  692.  
  693. 152
  694. 00:11:00,286 --> 00:11:01,871
  695. I think it sucks. I'm going
  696. to have a talk with him.
  697.  
  698. 153
  699. 00:11:01,954 --> 00:11:04,206
  700. I don't know that you want to go
  701. to a drug dealer with complaints.
  702.  
  703. 154
  704. 00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:07,209
  705. No. I know this guy a long time.
  706. I've known him since 9/11.
  707.  
  708. 155
  709. 00:11:07,293 --> 00:11:09,962
  710. You remember? I was, like, "Oh, shit, 9/11.
  711. I got to get high."
  712.  
  713. 156
  714. 00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:11,839
  715. Is it 9:30?
  716. Yeah.
  717.  
  718. 157
  719. 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:13,465
  720. Shit, I got to
  721. get to work!
  722.  
  723. 158
  724. 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:15,259
  725. I don't know
  726. if I can drive!
  727.  
  728. 159
  729. 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,553
  730. It's okay, I'll drive you.
  731. I feel fine.
  732.  
  733. 160
  734. 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:39,867
  735. (BRAKES SCREECHING)
  736.  
  737. 161
  738. 00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:42,286
  739. Fuck!
  740. Shit.
  741.  
  742. 162
  743. 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,412
  744. Oh, man!
  745.  
  746. 163
  747. 00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:47,082
  748. TED: Johnny, I'm sorry, man. That
  749. car just came out of nowhere.
  750.  
  751. 164
  752. 00:11:47,208 --> 00:11:48,626
  753. God, is it bad?
  754.  
  755. 165
  756. 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:50,753
  757. Oh, man!
  758.  
  759. 166
  760. 00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:54,465
  761. John! May I speak
  762. with you, please?
  763.  
  764. 167
  765. 00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:55,549
  766. Shit.
  767.  
  768. 168
  769. 00:11:55,633 --> 00:11:57,051
  770. It's all right, go, go, go.
  771. I'll pull out of here.
  772.  
  773. 169
  774. 00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:58,344
  775. Hi, Thomas, how are you?
  776.  
  777. 170
  778. 00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,059
  779. (METAL SCRAPING)
  780.  
  781. 171
  782. 00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:13,192
  783. MAN: asshole!
  784.  
  785. 172
  786. 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:15,736
  787. TED: That's my bad.
  788. I was sending a tweet.
  789.  
  790. 173
  791. 00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,907
  792. John, it's almost 10:00.
  793.  
  794. 174
  795. 00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:22,660
  796. I know, sir, I'm sorry.
  797. It wasn't my fault.
  798.  
  799. 175
  800. 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:24,662
  801. What do you mean?
  802.  
  803. 176
  804. 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:27,331
  805. (STAMMERS)
  806.  
  807. 177
  808. 00:12:27,957 --> 00:12:31,335
  809. I guess I wasn't really prepared
  810. for a follow-up question.
  811.  
  812. 178
  813. 00:12:32,253 --> 00:12:34,838
  814. John, all you got to do
  815. is not fuck up
  816.  
  817. 179
  818. 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,424
  819. and you get my job when I
  820. go to corporate next month.
  821.  
  822. 180
  823. 00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:39,176
  824. You're the new
  825. branch manager.
  826.  
  827. 181
  828. 00:12:39,260 --> 00:12:41,262
  829. All you've got to do
  830. is not fuck up.
  831.  
  832. 182
  833. 00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:42,846
  834. I realize that.
  835. Good.
  836.  
  837. 183
  838. 00:12:43,222 --> 00:12:44,890
  839. Glad to hear it.
  840.  
  841. 184
  842. 00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:48,727
  843. Because in a month,
  844. my life could be your life.
  845.  
  846. 185
  847. 00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:51,772
  848. A cushy, $38,000-a-year
  849. branch manager
  850.  
  851. 186
  852. 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:54,942
  853. who's personal friends
  854. with Tom Skerritt.
  855.  
  856. 187
  857. 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,652
  858. Not a bad life, is it?
  859.  
  860. 188
  861. 00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:58,362
  862. No.
  863.  
  864. 189
  865. 00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:01,282
  866. I'm going to show you something
  867. that I don't like to show people
  868.  
  869. 190
  870. 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:04,118
  871. because I don't want them
  872. treating me differently.
  873.  
  874. 191
  875. 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,123
  876. Boom.
  877. That's me and Skerritt.
  878.  
  879. 192
  880. 00:13:09,373 --> 00:13:10,416
  881. Wow.
  882.  
  883. 193
  884. 00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:12,126
  885. Goddamn right, "Wow."
  886.  
  887. 194
  888. 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,128
  889. I'm gonna dock you
  890. for dinging the car
  891.  
  892. 195
  893. 00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:15,671
  894. and for showing up
  895. late today, all right?
  896.  
  897. 196
  898. 00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,923
  899. Try and be a little more
  900. responsible tomorrow.
  901.  
  902. 197
  903. 00:13:18,007 --> 00:13:19,591
  904. I will, sir, I promise.
  905.  
  906. 198
  907. 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:22,261
  908. I'm not going to
  909. let you down, Goose.
  910.  
  911. 199
  912. 00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:24,138
  913. What?
  914.  
  915. 200
  916. 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:25,806
  917. <i>Top Gun.</i>
  918.  
  919. 201
  920. 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,516
  921. So?
  922.  
  923. 202
  924. 00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:29,226
  925. Tom Skerritt.
  926.  
  927. 203
  928. 00:13:30,144 --> 00:13:31,395
  929. I know that.
  930.  
  931. 204
  932. 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:32,646
  933. Get out of here, okay?
  934.  
  935. 205
  936. 00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:33,814
  937. Thank you, sir.
  938.  
  939. 206
  940. 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,817
  941. All right, here's your keys,
  942. your rental agreement,
  943.  
  944. 207
  945. 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,610
  946. complimentary
  947. map of Boston.
  948.  
  949. 208
  950. 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:41,238
  951. Thank you for choosing Liberty.
  952. Drive safely.
  953.  
  954. 209
  955. 00:13:41,322 --> 00:13:43,073
  956. Thanks.
  957. Thanks so much.
  958.  
  959. 210
  960. 00:13:44,575 --> 00:13:45,909
  961. I heard you got busted.
  962.  
  963. 211
  964. 00:13:46,744 --> 00:13:49,038
  965. Jesus, Guy, you look like shit, man.
  966. What happened?
  967.  
  968. 212
  969. 00:13:49,288 --> 00:13:52,291
  970. I don't know, I got fucking
  971. wasted last night.
  972.  
  973. 213
  974. 00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:56,128
  975. My phone says I texted someone at
  976. 3:15, asking them to beat me up.
  977.  
  978. 214
  979. 00:13:56,545 --> 00:14:00,257
  980. And then, at 4:30, I texted the
  981. same person saying, "Thanks."
  982.  
  983. 215
  984. 00:14:00,466 --> 00:14:01,467
  985. And you don't remember it?
  986.  
  987. 216
  988. 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:02,843
  989. No, same as last time.
  990.  
  991. 217
  992. 00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:05,095
  993. It just seems kind
  994. of gay, doesn't it?
  995.  
  996. 218
  997. 00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:07,097
  998. I don't know.
  999. Maybe, yeah.
  1000.  
  1001. 219
  1002. 00:14:07,181 --> 00:14:09,600
  1003. Well, do you think you're part
  1004. of some gay beat-up underworld?
  1005.  
  1006. 220
  1007. 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,685
  1008. Like one of those gay
  1009. beat-up clubs or something?
  1010.  
  1011. 221
  1012. 00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:13,520
  1013. I don't know.
  1014. I dig chicks, man.
  1015.  
  1016. 222
  1017. 00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:15,522
  1018. I don't remember any of it.
  1019. I was so fucked up.
  1020.  
  1021. 223
  1022. 00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:16,732
  1023. I might be gay,
  1024. I don't know.
  1025.  
  1026. 224
  1027. 00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,400
  1028. Do you mind covering
  1029. for me for a bit?
  1030.  
  1031. 225
  1032. 00:14:18,484 --> 00:14:20,027
  1033. I might go lay down
  1034. in the john.
  1035.  
  1036. 226
  1037. 00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:21,695
  1038. Hey, buddies.
  1039. Where is it hanging?
  1040.  
  1041. 227
  1042. 00:14:21,779 --> 00:14:23,364
  1043. Hey, Alix, what's up? You
  1044. get in the club last night?
  1045.  
  1046. 228
  1047. 00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:26,992
  1048. I didn't get in because
  1049. the bouncer was douche-face.
  1050.  
  1051. 229
  1052. 00:14:27,076 --> 00:14:28,452
  1053. But I made friends
  1054. in the line.
  1055.  
  1056. 230
  1057. 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:29,828
  1058. That's good, I guess.
  1059.  
  1060. 231
  1061. 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:32,539
  1062. Hey, guys, anybody
  1063. know a nice restaurant,
  1064.  
  1065. 232
  1066. 00:14:32,623 --> 00:14:33,624
  1067. like something
  1068. where they give out
  1069.  
  1070. 233
  1071. 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:34,958
  1072. free bubblegum
  1073. in the bathrooms?
  1074.  
  1075. 234
  1076. 00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:36,168
  1077. For what?
  1078.  
  1079. 235
  1080. 00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,711
  1081. Lori and I have been dating
  1082. four years tomorrow.
  1083.  
  1084. 236
  1085. 00:14:37,795 --> 00:14:39,463
  1086. I want to take her
  1087. someplace really nice.
  1088.  
  1089. 237
  1090. 00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:41,256
  1091. Aw, congratulations, John.
  1092.  
  1093. 238
  1094. 00:14:41,382 --> 00:14:43,133
  1095. GUY: You guys have been
  1096. going out for four years?
  1097.  
  1098. 239
  1099. 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,219
  1100. My longest relationship
  1101. was like six months
  1102.  
  1103. 240
  1104. 00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:46,762
  1105. and then she farted
  1106. in her sleep.
  1107.  
  1108. 241
  1109. 00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:49,598
  1110. I'm like, "I'm out of here, man."
  1111. I was gone before she woke up.
  1112.  
  1113. 242
  1114. 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:51,809
  1115. You're not
  1116. very tolerant, huh?
  1117.  
  1118. 243
  1119. 00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:53,310
  1120. Lori ever fart
  1121. in front of you?
  1122.  
  1123. 244
  1124. 00:14:53,394 --> 00:14:54,436
  1125. Yeah.
  1126.  
  1127. 245
  1128. 00:14:55,521 --> 00:14:57,481
  1129. Really?
  1130. Yeah, many times.
  1131.  
  1132. 246
  1133. 00:14:58,232 --> 00:14:59,983
  1134. You Italian?
  1135. No.
  1136.  
  1137. 247
  1138. 00:15:01,402 --> 00:15:02,444
  1139. Why?
  1140.  
  1141. 248
  1142. 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,530
  1143. Never mind.
  1144. Take her to Benihana.
  1145.  
  1146. 249
  1147. 00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:06,573
  1148. John, look, don't you
  1149. think after four years
  1150.  
  1151. 250
  1152. 00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:08,784
  1153. maybe she's hoping for
  1154. something more than dinner?
  1155.  
  1156. 251
  1157. 00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:09,952
  1158. Like what?
  1159.  
  1160. 252
  1161. 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:14,039
  1162. I don't know, but if it were me,
  1163. I'd be expecting a proposal.
  1164.  
  1165. 253
  1166. 00:15:14,415 --> 00:15:16,667
  1167. Come on, nobody's expecting
  1168. anybody to propose.
  1169.  
  1170. 254
  1171. 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,127
  1172. I mean, marriage isn't...
  1173.  
  1174. 255
  1175. 00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:21,839
  1176. Isn't love enough? I submit
  1177. that love is enough.
  1178.  
  1179. 256
  1180. 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:25,008
  1181. You can put the ring in her
  1182. ass, let her fart it out.
  1183.  
  1184. 257
  1185. 00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:26,844
  1186. (THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
  1187.  
  1188. 258
  1189. 00:15:32,391 --> 00:15:34,476
  1190. So bad, but so good.
  1191.  
  1192. 259
  1193. 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:35,561
  1194. (COUGHS)
  1195.  
  1196. 260
  1197. 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,271
  1198. Hey, by the way,
  1199. don't let me forget,
  1200.  
  1201. 261
  1202. 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:38,605
  1203. you and I got to
  1204. nail down a plan
  1205.  
  1206. 262
  1207. 00:15:38,689 --> 00:15:40,190
  1208. for the Bruins game
  1209. tomorrow night.
  1210.  
  1211. 263
  1212. 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,484
  1213. No, I can't.
  1214. I'm taking Lori to dinner.
  1215.  
  1216. 264
  1217. 00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:43,569
  1218. For what?
  1219.  
  1220. 265
  1221. 00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:45,612
  1222. Well, we've been dating
  1223. four years tomorrow.
  1224.  
  1225. 266
  1226. 00:15:45,696 --> 00:15:47,114
  1227. Oh, fuck me. Nice.
  1228.  
  1229. 267
  1230. 00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:49,116
  1231. Let me ask you something.
  1232.  
  1233. 268
  1234. 00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:50,409
  1235. You don't think
  1236. she's going to be
  1237.  
  1238. 269
  1239. 00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:51,869
  1240. expecting something big,
  1241. do you?
  1242.  
  1243. 270
  1244. 00:15:52,286 --> 00:15:53,287
  1245. What, like anal?
  1246.  
  1247. 271
  1248. 00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:56,498
  1249. No, like a fucking circular
  1250. gold thing on her finger.
  1251.  
  1252. 272
  1253. 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:59,293
  1254. Oh, fuck that! It's been
  1255. four years, Johnny.
  1256.  
  1257. 273
  1258. 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,211
  1259. You and me have been
  1260. together for 27 years.
  1261.  
  1262. 274
  1263. 00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:04,214
  1264. Where's my ring?
  1265. Where's my ring, asshole?
  1266.  
  1267. 275
  1268. 00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:06,175
  1269. Where's my ring, motherfucker?
  1270. Stop it. Come on!
  1271.  
  1272. 276
  1273. 00:16:06,258 --> 00:16:08,594
  1274. Put it on my fuzzy finger,
  1275. you fuck! Come on!
  1276.  
  1277. 277
  1278. 00:16:08,677 --> 00:16:09,720
  1279. (LAUGHS) All right,
  1280. knock it off!
  1281.  
  1282. 278
  1283. 00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:11,096
  1284. All right,
  1285. I'm just saying.
  1286.  
  1287. 279
  1288. 00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:14,057
  1289. But do you think she might be expecting
  1290. me to make that kind of a move?
  1291.  
  1292. 280
  1293. 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:17,436
  1294. No, I don't think she is. And, not
  1295. only that, it's the wrong time.
  1296.  
  1297. 281
  1298. 00:16:17,728 --> 00:16:19,980
  1299. It's a terrible idea. I
  1300. mean, you got the economy.
  1301.  
  1302. 282
  1303. 00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:22,065
  1304. You got the credit bubble,
  1305. the Supreme Court.
  1306.  
  1307. 283
  1308. 00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,192
  1309. I mean, look at Haiti.
  1310.  
  1311. 284
  1312. 00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,319
  1313. I guess I didn't
  1314. think about that.
  1315.  
  1316. 285
  1317. 00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:27,154
  1318. Well, that's...
  1319. It's a factor.
  1320.  
  1321. 286
  1322. 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:28,739
  1323. <i>Who are you?</i>
  1324.  
  1325. 287
  1326. 00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:32,367
  1327. <i>Flash Gordon. Quarterback,</i>
  1328. <i>New York Jets.</i>
  1329.  
  1330. 288
  1331. 00:16:32,743 --> 00:16:34,912
  1332. This is the American
  1333. fantasy, right here.
  1334.  
  1335. 289
  1336. 00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:38,832
  1337. A professional NFL player is
  1338. called upon to save the world.
  1339.  
  1340. 290
  1341. 00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:41,043
  1342. Tom Brady could do that.
  1343. Tom Brady could do that!
  1344.  
  1345. 291
  1346. 00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:43,837
  1347. Hey.
  1348. Hey, sweetie.
  1349.  
  1350. 292
  1351. 00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:44,922
  1352. Hey, Lori-.
  1353.  
  1354. 293
  1355. 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,757
  1356. Hi.
  1357. Hi.
  1358.  
  1359. 294
  1360. 00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,008
  1361. What do you got there?
  1362.  
  1363. 295
  1364. 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:50,260
  1365. Turkey burgers.
  1366.  
  1367. 296
  1368. 00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:52,971
  1369. Are we having homosexuals
  1370. over for dinner tonight?
  1371.  
  1372. 297
  1373. 00:16:53,597 --> 00:16:55,224
  1374. Ha-ha. No, just you homos.
  1375.  
  1376. 298
  1377. 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:56,558
  1378. Whoa!
  1379. Whoa!
  1380.  
  1381. 299
  1382. 00:16:57,142 --> 00:17:00,270
  1383. You kind of just reworded my
  1384. joke, but, uh... (CHUCKLES)
  1385.  
  1386. 300
  1387. 00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:01,355
  1388. How was work?
  1389.  
  1390. 301
  1391. 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:02,648
  1392. It was fine.
  1393.  
  1394. 302
  1395. 00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:04,107
  1396. How's your dickhead boss?
  1397.  
  1398. 303
  1399. 00:17:04,525 --> 00:17:05,526
  1400. Rex is fine.
  1401.  
  1402. 304
  1403. 00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:08,403
  1404. He only hit on me once today,
  1405. so, it's a good thing.
  1406.  
  1407. 305
  1408. 00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:10,197
  1409. Hey, Johnny,
  1410. how about a beer?
  1411.  
  1412. 306
  1413. 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,657
  1414. A couple of
  1415. Charles Brew-kowskis?
  1416.  
  1417. 307
  1418. 00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:13,534
  1419. Couple of Brew-stoyevskis?
  1420.  
  1421. 308
  1422. 00:17:13,617 --> 00:17:15,577
  1423. Maybe a Mike Brew-gaslowski?
  1424.  
  1425. 309
  1426. 00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:17,120
  1427. Perhaps a Tedy Brew-ski?
  1428.  
  1429. 310
  1430. 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,205
  1431. That's a good one.
  1432.  
  1433. 311
  1434. 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:21,667
  1435. You know what, I think I, too,
  1436. want a Martina Navrati-brewski.
  1437.  
  1438. 312
  1439. 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:22,834
  1440. No, that doesn't work.
  1441.  
  1442. 313
  1443. 00:17:22,918 --> 00:17:23,961
  1444. Don't ruin it. No.
  1445.  
  1446. 314
  1447. 00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:25,420
  1448. Bullshit!
  1449. That totally works.
  1450.  
  1451. 315
  1452. 00:17:25,504 --> 00:17:26,505
  1453. TED: No, no.
  1454.  
  1455. 316
  1456. 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:27,965
  1457. Yeah, it does.
  1458. It doesn't work.
  1459.  
  1460. 317
  1461. 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,383
  1462. The name has to have
  1463. a "ski" at the end of it
  1464.  
  1465. 318
  1466. 00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,885
  1467. and you just put "brewski" at the
  1468. end of "Martina Navratilova," so...
  1469.  
  1470. 319
  1471. 00:17:31,969 --> 00:17:33,762
  1472. I just thought we
  1473. were saying funny names.
  1474.  
  1475. 320
  1476. 00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:36,098
  1477. No, it has to have
  1478. a "ski" at the end of it.
  1479.  
  1480. 321
  1481. 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,391
  1482. Otherwise,
  1483. where's the challenge?
  1484.  
  1485. 322
  1486. 00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:39,726
  1487. If there's no "ski" at
  1488. the end of the root word
  1489.  
  1490. 323
  1491. 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:42,729
  1492. then we would just be
  1493. idiots saying nonsense.
  1494.  
  1495. 324
  1496. 00:17:51,989 --> 00:17:52,990
  1497. Hey.
  1498.  
  1499. 325
  1500. 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,616
  1501. They found
  1502. the missing hikers.
  1503.  
  1504. 326
  1505. 00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:55,742
  1506. They did?
  1507.  
  1508. 327
  1509. 00:17:55,826 --> 00:17:56,827
  1510. Yeah.
  1511. What happened?
  1512.  
  1513. 328
  1514. 00:17:57,286 --> 00:17:58,537
  1515. They said
  1516. they got separated
  1517.  
  1518. 329
  1519. 00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,163
  1520. and one of them had his
  1521. foot stuck under a rock
  1522.  
  1523. 330
  1524. 00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:01,582
  1525. for like, five days.
  1526.  
  1527. 331
  1528. 00:18:01,665 --> 00:18:03,083
  1529. Wow.
  1530. Mmm.
  1531.  
  1532. 332
  1533. 00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:07,045
  1534. You know, if your leg got
  1535. trapped under a rock
  1536.  
  1537. 333
  1538. 00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,630
  1539. I'd chew it off
  1540. to get you free.
  1541.  
  1542. 334
  1543. 00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:10,591
  1544. You would?
  1545.  
  1546. 335
  1547. 00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:11,758
  1548. I sure would.
  1549.  
  1550. 336
  1551. 00:18:11,842 --> 00:18:13,302
  1552. Is that cannibalism?
  1553.  
  1554. 337
  1555. 00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:15,846
  1556. No, I think it's only
  1557. cannibalism if you swallow.
  1558.  
  1559. 338
  1560. 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,097
  1561. Oh, yeah, no!
  1562.  
  1563. 339
  1564. 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,932
  1565. Don't worry about that,
  1566. because I don't swallow.
  1567.  
  1568. 340
  1569. 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,809
  1570. Really? 'Cause
  1571. that's not what I heard.
  1572.  
  1573. 341
  1574. 00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:23,937
  1575. Well, it's not true, okay?
  1576. I'm a classy broad.
  1577.  
  1578. 342
  1579. 00:18:24,021 --> 00:18:25,063
  1580. (LAUGHING)
  1581. Yeah.
  1582.  
  1583. 343
  1584. 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,441
  1585. I can see that.
  1586. (SIGHS)
  1587.  
  1588. 344
  1589. 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,443
  1590. Listen,
  1591. speaking of classy,
  1592.  
  1593. 345
  1594. 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:31,653
  1595. Ciao Bella is a really
  1596. expensive restaurant.
  1597.  
  1598. 346
  1599. 00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:34,615
  1600. So, we can go
  1601. anywhere else tomorrow.
  1602.  
  1603. 347
  1604. 00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:36,825
  1605. I really don't care,
  1606. as long as we're together.
  1607.  
  1608. 348
  1609. 00:18:37,409 --> 00:18:38,994
  1610. Are you kidding me?
  1611.  
  1612. 349
  1613. 00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,829
  1614. No, no, no. Four years,
  1615. we've been going out.
  1616.  
  1617. 350
  1618. 00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:43,206
  1619. I'm taking you to
  1620. the best place in town.
  1621.  
  1622. 351
  1623. 00:18:43,999 --> 00:18:45,417
  1624. You know I love you.
  1625.  
  1626. 352
  1627. 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:48,337
  1628. I love you, too. (LAUGHING)
  1629. And you're nasty.
  1630.  
  1631. 353
  1632. 00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:50,464
  1633. Do you want to get nasty?
  1634.  
  1635. 354
  1636. 00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:52,591
  1637. You're a nasty girl.
  1638.  
  1639. 355
  1640. 00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:57,054
  1641. (THUNDER CRASHING)
  1642. (SCREAMS)
  1643.  
  1644. 356
  1645. 00:18:57,846 --> 00:18:58,805
  1646. I don't understand.
  1647.  
  1648. 357
  1649. 00:18:58,889 --> 00:19:01,600
  1650. Thirty-five years old and you're
  1651. still scared of a little thunder.
  1652.  
  1653. 358
  1654. 00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,226
  1655. I am not!
  1656.  
  1657. 359
  1658. 00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:04,853
  1659. (EXCLAIMING FEARFULLY)
  1660.  
  1661. 360
  1662. 00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:07,648
  1663. Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny?
  1664. Fucking right.
  1665.  
  1666. 361
  1667. 00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:09,650
  1668. Let's sing the thundersong.
  1669. All right.
  1670.  
  1671. 362
  1672. 00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:12,903
  1673. <i>BOTH: (SINGING) When you hear the sound</i>
  1674. <i>of thunder Don't you get too scared</i>
  1675.  
  1676. 363
  1677. 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:16,573
  1678. <i>Just grab your thunder buddy</i>
  1679. <i>And say these magic words</i>
  1680.  
  1681. 364
  1682. 00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:20,285
  1683. <i>Fuck you, thunder</i>
  1684. <i>You can suck my dick</i>
  1685.  
  1686. 365
  1687. 00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:23,330
  1688. <i>You can't get me, thunder</i>
  1689. <i>'Cause you're just God's farts</i>
  1690.  
  1691. 366
  1692. 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:24,414
  1693. (BOTH IMITATE FARTING)
  1694.  
  1695. 367
  1696. 00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:25,707
  1697. Ugh!
  1698.  
  1699. 368
  1700. 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,503
  1701. TED: Hey, Lori, can you set
  1702. the alarm for 11:00 a.m.?
  1703.  
  1704. 369
  1705. 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,296
  1706. I've got a lot of
  1707. stuff to do tomorrow.
  1708.  
  1709. 370
  1710. 00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:45,602
  1711. WOMAN:
  1712. Good morning, Lori.
  1713.  
  1714. 371
  1715. 00:19:45,811 --> 00:19:47,396
  1716. Good morning.
  1717.  
  1718. 372
  1719. 00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:52,609
  1720. (SIGHS)
  1721.  
  1722. 373
  1723. 00:19:52,693 --> 00:19:54,486
  1724. Okay. You okay
  1725. there, sweetheart?
  1726.  
  1727. 374
  1728. 00:19:54,569 --> 00:19:56,530
  1729. (GRUNTS) You look a
  1730. little flustered.
  1731.  
  1732. 375
  1733. 00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:57,656
  1734. I'm fine, I'm fine,
  1735.  
  1736. 376
  1737. 00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,908
  1738. I just didn't have time for
  1739. breakfast and the garage was full,
  1740.  
  1741. 377
  1742. 00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:02,160
  1743. oh, and that's right, my boyfriend
  1744. can't sleep through a thunderstorm
  1745.  
  1746. 378
  1747. 00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:03,453
  1748. without his teddy bear.
  1749.  
  1750. 379
  1751. 00:20:03,829 --> 00:20:05,539
  1752. I don't understand why you
  1753. keep putting up with him.
  1754.  
  1755. 380
  1756. 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:09,292
  1757. Yeah, I mean, the guy's 35, and he's
  1758. working for a rental car service.
  1759.  
  1760. 381
  1761. 00:20:09,668 --> 00:20:11,211
  1762. You know, you guys,
  1763. it's really not about that.
  1764.  
  1765. 382
  1766. 00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:14,381
  1767. I don't care about that. I mean,
  1768. I'd love him if he was a janitor.
  1769.  
  1770. 383
  1771. 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:18,009
  1772. I mean, he has a huge
  1773. heart and we laugh a lot.
  1774.  
  1775. 384
  1776. 00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:21,388
  1777. It's just a bonus that he's
  1778. the hottest guy in Boston.
  1779.  
  1780. 385
  1781. 00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,473
  1782. I don't know. I just wish he
  1783. would get his life together.
  1784.  
  1785. 386
  1786. 00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:25,976
  1787. Our life.
  1788. And he can't.
  1789.  
  1790. 387
  1791. 00:20:26,101 --> 00:20:28,562
  1792. And, I swear to God,
  1793. it is because of that bear.
  1794.  
  1795. 388
  1796. 00:20:28,729 --> 00:20:31,648
  1797. You should give him an ultimatum.
  1798. It's you or the bear.
  1799.  
  1800. 389
  1801. 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,985
  1802. No, I can't do that.
  1803. That would devastate him.
  1804.  
  1805. 390
  1806. 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:38,655
  1807. Besides,
  1808. what if he chose Ted?
  1809.  
  1810. 391
  1811. 00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:39,990
  1812. Well, hello there.
  1813.  
  1814. 392
  1815. 00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:42,242
  1816. Sorry if I'm interrupting
  1817. any private girl-talk
  1818.  
  1819. 393
  1820. 00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:43,785
  1821. about Channing Tatum's
  1822. index finger.
  1823.  
  1824. 394
  1825. 00:20:43,869 --> 00:20:46,079
  1826. But, Lori, I need to
  1827. see you in my office.
  1828.  
  1829. 395
  1830. 00:20:46,163 --> 00:20:48,415
  1831. Yeah, the thing is, Rex, I have a
  1832. lot of work I need to get to...
  1833.  
  1834. 396
  1835. 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:51,084
  1836. Oh, this is work,
  1837. I swear.
  1838.  
  1839. 397
  1840. 00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:52,461
  1841. (SIGHS)
  1842.  
  1843. 398
  1844. 00:20:52,544 --> 00:20:54,254
  1845. Great.
  1846.  
  1847. 399
  1848. 00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:56,339
  1849. Good luck.
  1850. Thank you.
  1851.  
  1852. 400
  1853. 00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,717
  1854. He's such an asshole.
  1855.  
  1856. 401
  1857. 00:20:58,842 --> 00:21:00,719
  1858. Out of control.
  1859. He's such a sleaze.
  1860.  
  1861. 402
  1862. 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:03,764
  1863. A hundred bucks says he's showing
  1864. her the diving team photo.
  1865.  
  1866. 403
  1867. 00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:06,767
  1868. Check this out.
  1869.  
  1870. 404
  1871. 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:09,186
  1872. That's me on
  1873. the high school diving team.
  1874.  
  1875. 405
  1876. 00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:11,146
  1877. We dove the shit out
  1878. of that pool that year.
  1879.  
  1880. 406
  1881. 00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:12,939
  1882. You promised me
  1883. this was about work.
  1884.  
  1885. 407
  1886. 00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:15,275
  1887. Lori, why don't you like me?
  1888. Ugh!
  1889.  
  1890. 408
  1891. 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:17,402
  1892. I'm rich, I'm good-looking,
  1893. my dad owns the company.
  1894.  
  1895. 409
  1896. 00:21:17,486 --> 00:21:19,571
  1897. I have a boyfriend.
  1898. I have told you this.
  1899.  
  1900. 410
  1901. 00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:21,198
  1902. Yeah, the guy with the bear.
  1903.  
  1904. 411
  1905. 00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:24,367
  1906. But I'm talking about
  1907. a mature relationship, Lori.
  1908.  
  1909. 412
  1910. 00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:27,746
  1911. If we were together, our
  1912. babies would be spectacular.
  1913.  
  1914. 413
  1915. 00:21:27,913 --> 00:21:32,417
  1916. With my top-of-the-pyramid
  1917. Caucasian genes and your splash of
  1918.  
  1919. 414
  1920. 00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:36,755
  1921. dark, beautiful, smoky...
  1922.  
  1923. 415
  1924. 00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,840
  1925. Baltic? Czech?
  1926.  
  1927. 416
  1928. 00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:40,383
  1929. Goodbye, Rex.
  1930.  
  1931. 417
  1932. 00:21:40,759 --> 00:21:42,052
  1933. (SOFT PIANO PLAYING)
  1934.  
  1935. 418
  1936. 00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:55,732
  1937. LORI: Oh!
  1938.  
  1939. 419
  1940. 00:21:56,024 --> 00:21:57,901
  1941. Okay, that was perfect.
  1942.  
  1943. 420
  1944. 00:21:58,109 --> 00:21:59,694
  1945. Would you like me to
  1946. wrap your leftovers?
  1947.  
  1948. 421
  1949. 00:21:59,778 --> 00:22:01,321
  1950. No, I'm good.
  1951. Thank you.
  1952.  
  1953. 422
  1954. 00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:03,156
  1955. Actually, could you
  1956. wrap just this up for me?
  1957.  
  1958. 423
  1959. 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,324
  1960. I want to scare
  1961. the shit out of somebody.
  1962.  
  1963. 424
  1964. 00:22:04,407 --> 00:22:05,408
  1965. Sure.
  1966.  
  1967. 425
  1968. 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:06,660
  1969. What are you,
  1970. five years old?
  1971.  
  1972. 426
  1973. 00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:07,744
  1974. JOHN: Yeah.
  1975.  
  1976. 427
  1977. 00:22:07,953 --> 00:22:10,163
  1978. But I read at a
  1979. six-year-old level, so...
  1980.  
  1981. 428
  1982. 00:22:10,247 --> 00:22:11,498
  1983. (LAUGHING)
  1984.  
  1985. 429
  1986. 00:22:11,581 --> 00:22:15,710
  1987. Sir, and madam,
  1988. here is your dessert
  1989.  
  1990. 430
  1991. 00:22:15,794 --> 00:22:17,754
  1992. and champagne.
  1993.  
  1994. 431
  1995. 00:22:18,088 --> 00:22:19,172
  1996. (GASPS) Ooh!
  1997.  
  1998. 432
  1999. 00:22:19,422 --> 00:22:20,757
  2000. Cristal.
  2001.  
  2002. 433
  2003. 00:22:20,841 --> 00:22:23,510
  2004. It's a special night. We've
  2005. been dating for four years.
  2006.  
  2007. 434
  2008. 00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:26,221
  2009. And hey, all those rich black
  2010. people can't be wrong, right?
  2011.  
  2012. 435
  2013. 00:22:26,304 --> 00:22:27,389
  2014. (LAUGHING)
  2015.  
  2016. 436
  2017. 00:22:28,598 --> 00:22:29,683
  2018. (SIGHS)
  2019.  
  2020. 437
  2021. 00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:31,643
  2022. It doesn't feel like
  2023. four years, does it?
  2024.  
  2025. 438
  2026. 00:22:32,269 --> 00:22:33,603
  2027. No, it doesn't.
  2028.  
  2029. 439
  2030. 00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:37,148
  2031. You know, you had no business
  2032. being out on that dance floor,
  2033.  
  2034. 440
  2035. 00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:39,276
  2036. but I'm really happy
  2037. that you were.
  2038.  
  2039. 441
  2040. 00:22:39,442 --> 00:22:40,944
  2041. (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
  2042.  
  2043. 442
  2044. 00:22:45,615 --> 00:22:47,200
  2045. This song is so great.
  2046.  
  2047. 443
  2048. 00:22:47,284 --> 00:22:50,328
  2049. Oh, yeah. Chris Brown
  2050. can do no wrong.
  2051.  
  2052. 444
  2053. 00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:52,664
  2054. Wow, you can really move.
  2055.  
  2056. 445
  2057. 00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:54,958
  2058. You like that, huh?
  2059. Check this shit out.
  2060.  
  2061. 446
  2062. 00:23:01,631 --> 00:23:02,883
  2063. Oh, my God!
  2064.  
  2065. 447
  2066. 00:23:03,717 --> 00:23:05,051
  2067. Are you okay?
  2068. (GROANING)
  2069.  
  2070. 448
  2071. 00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:06,344
  2072. Oh, God, lam so sorry.
  2073.  
  2074. 449
  2075. 00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:07,596
  2076. No, I'm fine,
  2077. I'm fine.
  2078.  
  2079. 450
  2080. 00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:10,432
  2081. Jesus, lam so sorry. I didn't see you.
  2082. It was an accident.
  2083.  
  2084. 451
  2085. 00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:11,600
  2086. Did you hurt your head?
  2087.  
  2088. 452
  2089. 00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:13,310
  2090. Yeah, my head hurts a lot.
  2091.  
  2092. 453
  2093. 00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:14,978
  2094. Oh, man. Here, let
  2095. me get you some ice.
  2096.  
  2097. 454
  2098. 00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:20,317
  2099. Cw!
  2100.  
  2101. 455
  2102. 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,944
  2103. Sorry, sorry.
  2104. Does it hurt?
  2105.  
  2106. 456
  2107. 00:23:25,906 --> 00:23:28,658
  2108. No. It's fine.
  2109.  
  2110. 457
  2111. 00:23:30,327 --> 00:23:32,996
  2112. Okay, here's a test to see how
  2113. much you actually care about me.
  2114.  
  2115. 458
  2116. 00:23:33,747 --> 00:23:35,624
  2117. You remember that night,
  2118. after the club
  2119.  
  2120. 459
  2121. 00:23:35,707 --> 00:23:39,544
  2122. we went and had late-night eggs
  2123. and waffles until about 5:00 a.m.
  2124.  
  2125. 460
  2126. 00:23:39,628 --> 00:23:42,589
  2127. We watched a movie on the
  2128. little TV in the diner.
  2129.  
  2130. 461
  2131. 00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:44,007
  2132. Name that movie.
  2133.  
  2134. 462
  2135. 00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:45,508
  2136. <i>Octopussy.</i>
  2137.  
  2138. 463
  2139. 00:23:45,717 --> 00:23:48,678
  2140. (GASPS)
  2141. Baby! Gold star.
  2142.  
  2143. 464
  2144. 00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:51,056
  2145. And, by the way, my
  2146. dancing was not that bad.
  2147.  
  2148. 465
  2149. 00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:52,974
  2150. It was pretty bad.
  2151. I have cool moves.
  2152.  
  2153. 466
  2154. 00:23:53,058 --> 00:23:54,434
  2155. Yeah, so do people
  2156. with Parkinson's.
  2157.  
  2158. 467
  2159. 00:23:54,517 --> 00:23:55,769
  2160. That's not
  2161. how I remember it.
  2162.  
  2163. 468
  2164. 00:23:55,852 --> 00:23:57,187
  2165. Okay, how do you
  2166. remember it?
  2167.  
  2168. 469
  2169. 00:23:57,437 --> 00:23:58,939
  2170. (DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)
  2171.  
  2172. 470
  2173. 00:24:27,092 --> 00:24:29,052
  2174. All right,
  2175. whatever you say.
  2176.  
  2177. 471
  2178. 00:24:29,219 --> 00:24:30,512
  2179. Hey
  2180. Yes?
  2181.  
  2182. 472
  2183. 00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:31,930
  2184. Here's to four more years.
  2185.  
  2186. 473
  2187. 00:24:32,263 --> 00:24:33,932
  2188. Okay.
  2189. You make me happy.
  2190.  
  2191. 474
  2192. 00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:36,309
  2193. Now, I know we said
  2194. no gifts, but...
  2195.  
  2196. 475
  2197. 00:24:36,393 --> 00:24:37,394
  2198. We said no such thing.
  2199.  
  2200. 476
  2201. 00:24:37,477 --> 00:24:40,313
  2202. I got you something anyway, in clear
  2203. violation of the "no gift" rule.
  2204.  
  2205. 477
  2206. 00:24:40,397 --> 00:24:41,606
  2207. We had no such rule.
  2208.  
  2209. 478
  2210. 00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:45,110
  2211. Lori, I've wanted to give
  2212. this to you for a long time.
  2213.  
  2214. 479
  2215. 00:24:48,279 --> 00:24:49,531
  2216. John“.
  2217.  
  2218. 480
  2219. 00:24:55,245 --> 00:24:57,956
  2220. Those are the ones you like, right?
  2221. From that kiosk at the mall.
  2222.  
  2223. 481
  2224. 00:24:59,082 --> 00:25:00,583
  2225. Yeah.
  2226.  
  2227. 482
  2228. 00:25:02,627 --> 00:25:04,129
  2229. You know, Lori,
  2230.  
  2231. 483
  2232. 00:25:04,212 --> 00:25:05,630
  2233. someday, there's going
  2234. to be a ring in there.
  2235.  
  2236. 484
  2237. 00:25:06,047 --> 00:25:08,758
  2238. But I want to wait until I get
  2239. you something really special.
  2240.  
  2241. 485
  2242. 00:25:08,842 --> 00:25:10,677
  2243. I just don't have
  2244. the money right now.
  2245.  
  2246. 486
  2247. 00:25:12,470 --> 00:25:15,056
  2248. Look, I'm only saying this
  2249. because I love you.
  2250.  
  2251. 487
  2252. 00:25:15,140 --> 00:25:16,641
  2253. You're not going to
  2254. have any sort of career
  2255.  
  2256. 488
  2257. 00:25:16,766 --> 00:25:18,309
  2258. if you keep
  2259. wasting time with Ted.
  2260.  
  2261. 489
  2262. 00:25:18,393 --> 00:25:19,436
  2263. Oh, jeez, here we go.
  2264.  
  2265. 490
  2266. 00:25:19,519 --> 00:25:21,146
  2267. Baby, please ask Ted
  2268. to move out
  2269.  
  2270. 491
  2271. 00:25:21,229 --> 00:25:22,605
  2272. so we can move on
  2273. with our lives.
  2274.  
  2275. 492
  2276. 00:25:22,689 --> 00:25:25,233
  2277. Lori, look, he's been my best
  2278. friend since I was eight.
  2279.  
  2280. 493
  2281. 00:25:25,316 --> 00:25:26,943
  2282. I was not a popular child.
  2283.  
  2284. 494
  2285. 00:25:28,695 --> 00:25:30,321
  2286. You have to understand, I had no
  2287. friends before he came along.
  2288.  
  2289. 495
  2290. 00:25:30,405 --> 00:25:32,741
  2291. He's the only reason I ever
  2292. gained any fucking confidence.
  2293.  
  2294. 496
  2295. 00:25:32,824 --> 00:25:35,869
  2296. But you're no longer eight.
  2297. You're 35 years old.
  2298.  
  2299. 497
  2300. 00:25:35,952 --> 00:25:37,912
  2301. And unless you're
  2302. too blind to notice,
  2303.  
  2304. 498
  2305. 00:25:37,996 --> 00:25:39,914
  2306. he's not your
  2307. only friend anymore.
  2308.  
  2309. 499
  2310. 00:25:39,998 --> 00:25:41,541
  2311. Can we talk about
  2312. this another time,
  2313.  
  2314. 500
  2315. 00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:43,043
  2316. and just enjoy
  2317. our anniversary dinner?
  2318.  
  2319. 501
  2320. 00:25:46,421 --> 00:25:47,630
  2321. (LORI CLEARS THROAT)
  2322.  
  2323. 502
  2324. 00:25:53,845 --> 00:25:55,388
  2325. Oh, shit, hang on a second.
  2326.  
  2327. 503
  2328. 00:25:55,805 --> 00:25:57,640
  2329. Now my phone fell under
  2330. the seat somewhere.
  2331.  
  2332. 504
  2333. 00:25:57,724 --> 00:25:58,767
  2334. Can you call it?
  2335.  
  2336. 505
  2337. 00:25:58,975 --> 00:26:00,185
  2338. Yeah.
  2339.  
  2340. 506
  2341. 00:26:03,813 --> 00:26:04,898
  2342. (DIALING)
  2343.  
  2344. 507
  2345. 00:26:06,191 --> 00:26:08,651
  2346. (OMINOUS RING-TONE PLAYING)
  2347.  
  2348. 508
  2349. 00:26:14,532 --> 00:26:15,992
  2350. Is that my ringtone?
  2351.  
  2352. 509
  2353. 00:26:16,409 --> 00:26:17,827
  2354. Oh, yeah.
  2355.  
  2356. 510
  2357. 00:26:18,453 --> 00:26:20,413
  2358. What is it?
  2359. 'Cause it sounds negative.
  2360.  
  2361. 511
  2362. 00:26:20,497 --> 00:26:22,415
  2363. <i>No, no,</i>
  2364. <i>it's from The Notebook.</i>
  2365.  
  2366. 512
  2367. 00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:24,334
  2368. Oh.
  2369.  
  2370. 513
  2371. 00:26:24,918 --> 00:26:26,586
  2372. This is going to take
  2373. some doing, I think.
  2374.  
  2375. 514
  2376. 00:26:26,669 --> 00:26:27,962
  2377. I'll just meet
  2378. you upstairs then?
  2379.  
  2380. 515
  2381. 00:26:28,046 --> 00:26:29,589
  2382. Yeah, I'll be right there.
  2383.  
  2384. 516
  2385. 00:26:31,841 --> 00:26:33,551
  2386. (MUFFLED ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
  2387.  
  2388. 517
  2389. 00:26:37,639 --> 00:26:38,681
  2390. Oh!
  2391.  
  2392. 518
  2393. 00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:40,391
  2394. Lori, hey,
  2395. you're home early.
  2396.  
  2397. 519
  2398. 00:26:40,475 --> 00:26:42,102
  2399. What the hell is this?
  2400.  
  2401. 520
  2402. 00:26:42,185 --> 00:26:44,604
  2403. The ladies and I were just
  2404. <i>watching Jack and Jill.</i>
  2405.  
  2406. 521
  2407. 00:26:44,687 --> 00:26:48,608
  2408. Adam Sandier plays a guy and his
  2409. sister, and it's just awful.
  2410.  
  2411. 522
  2412. 00:26:48,691 --> 00:26:49,776
  2413. It's unwatchable.
  2414.  
  2415. 523
  2416. 00:26:49,859 --> 00:26:51,611
  2417. But, they're hookers,
  2418. so it's fine.
  2419.  
  2420. 524
  2421. 00:26:51,694 --> 00:26:54,197
  2422. This place is a wreck.
  2423. Who are these girls?
  2424.  
  2425. 525
  2426. 00:26:54,322 --> 00:26:55,907
  2427. Oh. Where are my manners?
  2428.  
  2429. 526
  2430. 00:26:56,074 --> 00:27:00,703
  2431. Lori, this is Angelique, Heavenly,
  2432. Cherene, and Sauvignon Blanc.
  2433.  
  2434. 527
  2435. 00:27:01,037 --> 00:27:02,122
  2436. I love you girls.
  2437.  
  2438. 528
  2439. 00:27:02,205 --> 00:27:04,707
  2440. You know, somewhere out there
  2441. are four terrible fathers
  2442.  
  2443. 529
  2444. 00:27:04,791 --> 00:27:06,835
  2445. I wish I could thank
  2446. for this great night.
  2447.  
  2448. 530
  2449. 00:27:06,918 --> 00:27:08,336
  2450. What is that?
  2451.  
  2452. 531
  2453. 00:27:08,545 --> 00:27:09,879
  2454. What is what?
  2455.  
  2456. 532
  2457. 00:27:10,380 --> 00:27:12,507
  2458. There is...
  2459.  
  2460. 533
  2461. 00:27:12,590 --> 00:27:14,509
  2462. ...a shit on my floor.
  2463.  
  2464. 534
  2465. 00:27:14,759 --> 00:27:16,970
  2466. In the corner,
  2467. there is a shit!
  2468.  
  2469. 535
  2470. 00:27:17,220 --> 00:27:19,681
  2471. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we were
  2472. playing truth or dare
  2473.  
  2474. 536
  2475. 00:27:19,764 --> 00:27:21,599
  2476. and Cherene's
  2477. pretty ballsy.
  2478.  
  2479. 537
  2480. 00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:23,560
  2481. There is a shit
  2482. on my floor!
  2483.  
  2484. 538
  2485. 00:27:23,643 --> 00:27:28,565
  2486. "Or is the floor on the shit?"
  2487. is what Kierkegaard would say.
  2488.  
  2489. 539
  2490. 00:27:29,399 --> 00:27:30,441
  2491. (JOHN ROARS)
  2492. (LAUGHS)
  2493.  
  2494. 540
  2495. 00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:32,944
  2496. JOHN: Who lives here? I'm coming
  2497. to get whoever lives here.
  2498.  
  2499. 541
  2500. 00:27:33,194 --> 00:27:34,529
  2501. You owe me lobster money.
  2502.  
  2503. 542
  2504. 00:27:35,071 --> 00:27:36,489
  2505. (LAUGHS) That's
  2506. my buddy, Johnny.
  2507.  
  2508. 543
  2509. 00:27:36,573 --> 00:27:38,158
  2510. Not the lobster,
  2511. the guy running it.
  2512.  
  2513. 544
  2514. 00:27:38,575 --> 00:27:40,535
  2515. I found my phone.
  2516.  
  2517. 545
  2518. 00:27:40,618 --> 00:27:41,661
  2519. What's going on?
  2520.  
  2521. 546
  2522. 00:27:43,371 --> 00:27:45,582
  2523. Is that a shit?
  2524.  
  2525. 547
  2526. 00:28:01,097 --> 00:28:03,683
  2527. God, there are some
  2528. fucked-up fish out there.
  2529.  
  2530. 548
  2531. 00:28:03,933 --> 00:28:06,186
  2532. Look at that one.
  2533. WASP-y, white-guy fish.
  2534.  
  2535. 549
  2536. 00:28:06,269 --> 00:28:10,815
  2537. "I married the wrong woman, and
  2538. now I lead a life of regret."
  2539.  
  2540. 550
  2541. 00:28:10,899 --> 00:28:12,025
  2542. Oh, look at this guy.
  2543.  
  2544. 551
  2545. 00:28:12,108 --> 00:28:17,113
  2546. "I went to New York once in 1981,
  2547. and I just did not feel safe."
  2548.  
  2549. 552
  2550. 00:28:17,197 --> 00:28:18,281
  2551. (SIGHS)
  2552.  
  2553. 553
  2554. 00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:20,575
  2555. Ted, you gotta move out.
  2556.  
  2557. 554
  2558. 00:28:22,493 --> 00:28:23,536
  2559. What?
  2560.  
  2561. 555
  2562. 00:28:24,078 --> 00:28:26,247
  2563. It's got to happen.
  2564.  
  2565. 556
  2566. 00:28:27,832 --> 00:28:29,959
  2567. What did I do?
  2568.  
  2569. 557
  2570. 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,922
  2571. My relationship is at a very
  2572. delicate stage, you know.
  2573.  
  2574. 558
  2575. 00:28:35,131 --> 00:28:37,300
  2576. Lori and I may just need
  2577. a little space right now.
  2578.  
  2579. 559
  2580. 00:28:37,842 --> 00:28:40,720
  2581. Plus, a hooker took a
  2582. shit in our apartment.
  2583.  
  2584. 560
  2585. 00:28:40,803 --> 00:28:42,472
  2586. Oh, God!
  2587. Ah, what?
  2588.  
  2589. 561
  2590. 00:28:42,555 --> 00:28:43,681
  2591. Oh, this is so gross!
  2592.  
  2593. 562
  2594. 00:28:43,765 --> 00:28:45,767
  2595. Don't tell me! I don't want to hear about it!
  2596. Did you get it?
  2597.  
  2598. 563
  2599. 00:28:45,850 --> 00:28:47,727
  2600. No, I didn't get it!
  2601. Tell me when you get it!
  2602.  
  2603. 564
  2604. 00:28:47,810 --> 00:28:50,396
  2605. Oh, my God,
  2606. I got some on my thumb!
  2607.  
  2608. 565
  2609. 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,815
  2610. No! You can never cook
  2611. with that hand again!
  2612.  
  2613. 566
  2614. 00:28:53,024 --> 00:28:54,734
  2615. Oh, my God! You have to
  2616. learn to cook left-handed.
  2617.  
  2618. 567
  2619. 00:28:54,817 --> 00:28:56,736
  2620. This is the most
  2621. disgusting thing ever!
  2622.  
  2623. 568
  2624. 00:28:56,819 --> 00:28:58,238
  2625. Don't!
  2626. Get it away from me!
  2627.  
  2628. 569
  2629. 00:28:58,321 --> 00:29:00,240
  2630. Look, that was a tough
  2631. night for all of us.
  2632.  
  2633. 570
  2634. 00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:04,035
  2635. Ted, you mean everything
  2636. to me, and so does Lori.
  2637.  
  2638. 571
  2639. 00:29:04,118 --> 00:29:07,080
  2640. I'm just trying to find a way
  2641. to keep you both in my life.
  2642.  
  2643. 572
  2644. 00:29:07,580 --> 00:29:08,581
  2645. (SIGHS)
  2646.  
  2647. 573
  2648. 00:29:08,665 --> 00:29:10,541
  2649. She's making you
  2650. do it, isn't she?
  2651.  
  2652. 574
  2653. 00:29:11,125 --> 00:29:12,210
  2654. Yes.
  2655.  
  2656. 575
  2657. 00:29:12,293 --> 00:29:15,463
  2658. But that doesn't mean we can't hang out.
  2659. We'll hang out all the time.
  2660.  
  2661. 576
  2662. 00:29:15,922 --> 00:29:18,508
  2663. Yeah, but what about "thunder
  2664. buddies for life," Johnny?
  2665.  
  2666. 577
  2667. 00:29:18,591 --> 00:29:21,094
  2668. I know. I just don't
  2669. know what to do, here.
  2670.  
  2671. 578
  2672. 00:29:21,177 --> 00:29:25,139
  2673. I know it sucks, but otherwise
  2674. I'm going to lose her.
  2675.  
  2676. 579
  2677. 00:29:25,265 --> 00:29:26,808
  2678. And I do love her, Ted.
  2679.  
  2680. 580
  2681. 00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:29,060
  2682. I know you do, Johnny.
  2683.  
  2684. 581
  2685. 00:29:29,310 --> 00:29:31,479
  2686. I'll help you get on your
  2687. feet out there, I promise.
  2688.  
  2689. 582
  2690. 00:29:31,938 --> 00:29:33,856
  2691. I know. And we'll hang
  2692. out all the time, right?
  2693.  
  2694. 583
  2695. 00:29:34,023 --> 00:29:35,441
  2696. All the time.
  2697.  
  2698. 584
  2699. 00:29:35,650 --> 00:29:37,318
  2700. Fuck it. Bring it in. Come here.
  2701.  
  2702. 585
  2703. 00:29:37,402 --> 00:29:39,320
  2704. Bring it in, you bastard.
  2705. Come on.
  2706.  
  2707. 586
  2708. 00:29:39,862 --> 00:29:41,114
  2709. RECORDED TOY VOICE:
  2710. <i>I love you!</i>
  2711.  
  2712. 587
  2713. 00:29:41,364 --> 00:29:44,075
  2714. Fuck. Shit, sorry, that's
  2715. the thing from the...
  2716.  
  2717. 588
  2718. 00:29:44,242 --> 00:29:46,077
  2719. The old...
  2720. Yeah, yeah.
  2721.  
  2722. 589
  2723. 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:47,578
  2724. I'm not gay.
  2725. I know.
  2726.  
  2727. 590
  2728. 00:29:47,662 --> 00:29:49,789
  2729. And you're not gay,
  2730. so we're fine.
  2731.  
  2732. 591
  2733. 00:29:50,999 --> 00:29:53,459
  2734. We gotta get you a job.
  2735.  
  2736. 592
  2737. 00:29:54,836 --> 00:29:55,920
  2738. I look stupid.
  2739.  
  2740. 593
  2741. 00:29:56,004 --> 00:29:57,213
  2742. No you don't.
  2743. You look dapper.
  2744.  
  2745. 594
  2746. 00:29:57,297 --> 00:29:59,674
  2747. I don't. I look like
  2748. Snuggle's accountant.
  2749.  
  2750. 595
  2751. 00:29:59,757 --> 00:30:01,050
  2752. Come on,
  2753. it's not that bad.
  2754.  
  2755. 596
  2756. 00:30:01,134 --> 00:30:02,510
  2757. John, I look like something
  2758. you give your kid
  2759.  
  2760. 597
  2761. 00:30:02,593 --> 00:30:04,095
  2762. when you tell him
  2763. Grandma died.
  2764.  
  2765. 598
  2766. 00:30:04,262 --> 00:30:06,139
  2767. Look, I know
  2768. it sucks, okay?
  2769.  
  2770. 599
  2771. 00:30:06,222 --> 00:30:07,265
  2772. But you've got
  2773. to make some money
  2774.  
  2775. 600
  2776. 00:30:07,348 --> 00:30:08,391
  2777. so you can pay
  2778. for an apartment.
  2779.  
  2780. 601
  2781. 00:30:08,474 --> 00:30:10,518
  2782. I don't want to work
  2783. at a grocery store.
  2784.  
  2785. 602
  2786. 00:30:10,601 --> 00:30:11,978
  2787. Yeah, but you
  2788. have no skills.
  2789.  
  2790. 603
  2791. 00:30:12,145 --> 00:30:14,147
  2792. I told you,
  2793. I can totally be a lawyer.
  2794.  
  2795. 604
  2796. 00:30:14,564 --> 00:30:17,483
  2797. You get the job, we're
  2798. celebrating after, okay?
  2799.  
  2800. 605
  2801. 00:30:17,942 --> 00:30:19,319
  2802. Uh-huh. And if I
  2803. don't get the job,
  2804.  
  2805. 606
  2806. 00:30:19,402 --> 00:30:20,737
  2807. are we still going to
  2808. smoke that pot?
  2809.  
  2810. 607
  2811. 00:30:21,070 --> 00:30:22,238
  2812. Probably, yes.
  2813.  
  2814. 608
  2815. 00:30:22,363 --> 00:30:24,324
  2816. Uh-huh. Okay, all right.
  2817. Good talk, coach, thanks.
  2818.  
  2819. 609
  2820. 00:30:24,407 --> 00:30:25,408
  2821. All right, buddy,
  2822. go get 'em.
  2823.  
  2824. 610
  2825. 00:30:26,409 --> 00:30:28,286
  2826. And don't worry,
  2827. I'll do my very best
  2828.  
  2829. 611
  2830. 00:30:28,369 --> 00:30:30,496
  2831. to get this job
  2832. that I so crave.
  2833.  
  2834. 612
  2835. 00:30:31,456 --> 00:30:33,166
  2836. So you think you
  2837. got what it takes?
  2838.  
  2839. 613
  2840. 00:30:33,333 --> 00:30:36,377
  2841. I'll tell you what I got. Your
  2842. wife's pussy on my breath.
  2843.  
  2844. 614
  2845. 00:30:38,504 --> 00:30:40,757
  2846. Nobody's ever talked
  2847. to me like that before.
  2848.  
  2849. 615
  2850. 00:30:40,923 --> 00:30:44,218
  2851. That's 'cause everyone's mouth is
  2852. usually full of your wife's box.
  2853.  
  2854. 616
  2855. 00:30:46,429 --> 00:30:47,555
  2856. You're hired.
  2857.  
  2858. 617
  2859. 00:30:47,805 --> 00:30:48,890
  2860. Shit.
  2861.  
  2862. 618
  2863. 00:31:34,852 --> 00:31:38,481
  2864. Well, I am a former celebrity
  2865. in a minimum wage job.
  2866.  
  2867. 619
  2868. 00:31:38,564 --> 00:31:41,317
  2869. <i>This is how the cast of</i>
  2870. <i>Diff'rent Strokes feels.</i>
  2871.  
  2872. 620
  2873. 00:31:41,401 --> 00:31:43,611
  2874. All day, every day.
  2875. Just awful.
  2876.  
  2877. 621
  2878. 00:31:43,694 --> 00:31:45,988
  2879. They must feel awful. The
  2880. live ones must feel awful.
  2881.  
  2882. 622
  2883. 00:31:46,072 --> 00:31:47,156
  2884. Come on.
  2885. It's not that bad, okay?
  2886.  
  2887. 623
  2888. 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,700
  2889. I got a shitty job, and I
  2890. assure you, lam quite content.
  2891.  
  2892. 624
  2893. 00:31:49,867 --> 00:31:51,077
  2894. Excuse me.
  2895.  
  2896. 625
  2897. 00:31:51,244 --> 00:31:52,412
  2898. I'm sorry to bother you
  2899.  
  2900. 626
  2901. 00:31:52,495 --> 00:31:56,499
  2902. but my son and I couldn't help
  2903. but admire your teddy bear.
  2904.  
  2905. 627
  2906. 00:31:56,999 --> 00:31:58,418
  2907. Oh, thank you.
  2908. Thanks.
  2909.  
  2910. 628
  2911. 00:31:58,501 --> 00:32:01,587
  2912. Yeah. I'm Donny,
  2913. this is Robert.
  2914.  
  2915. 629
  2916. 00:32:01,754 --> 00:32:04,507
  2917. I have to say, I've been following
  2918. you ever since I was a young boy
  2919.  
  2920. 630
  2921. 00:32:05,675 --> 00:32:08,344
  2922. and I remember seeing you
  2923. on the Carson show.
  2924.  
  2925. 631
  2926. 00:32:08,511 --> 00:32:09,846
  2927. You were just wonderful.
  2928.  
  2929. 632
  2930. 00:32:10,012 --> 00:32:12,348
  2931. Oh, yeah, that was
  2932. a weird interview.
  2933.  
  2934. 633
  2935. 00:32:12,432 --> 00:32:15,852
  2936. Ed thought I was ALF, and he kept
  2937. muttering anti-Semitic comments.
  2938.  
  2939. 634
  2940. 00:32:16,018 --> 00:32:17,979
  2941. He thought ALF was
  2942. Jewish for some reason.
  2943.  
  2944. 635
  2945. 00:32:18,062 --> 00:32:19,730
  2946. Have you ever considered
  2947. selling the bear?
  2948.  
  2949. 636
  2950. 00:32:20,022 --> 00:32:21,023
  2951. What?
  2952. Excuse me?
  2953.  
  2954. 637
  2955. 00:32:21,107 --> 00:32:22,316
  2956. I want it.
  2957.  
  2958. 638
  2959. 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,652
  2960. I'm not an "it," pal.
  2961. I'm a "he," all right?
  2962.  
  2963. 639
  2964. 00:32:25,194 --> 00:32:27,155
  2965. I'm sorry, little guy,
  2966. but my bear isn't for sale.
  2967.  
  2968. 640
  2969. 00:32:27,238 --> 00:32:29,115
  2970. See, I've had him
  2971. since I was about your age.
  2972.  
  2973. 641
  2974. 00:32:29,198 --> 00:32:30,908
  2975. He's very, very
  2976. special to me.
  2977.  
  2978. 642
  2979. 00:32:30,992 --> 00:32:33,244
  2980. Stand up straight when
  2981. you're talking to me.
  2982.  
  2983. 643
  2984. 00:32:33,578 --> 00:32:35,288
  2985. Why the fuck
  2986. would he say that?
  2987.  
  2988. 644
  2989. 00:32:35,371 --> 00:32:38,374
  2990. Sorry, you really shouldn't
  2991. swear in front of children.
  2992.  
  2993. 645
  2994. 00:32:38,458 --> 00:32:40,209
  2995. Look, we're very
  2996. interested in the bear.
  2997.  
  2998. 646
  2999. 00:32:40,334 --> 00:32:41,919
  3000. If you want to make
  3001. some sort of arrangement
  3002.  
  3003. 647
  3004. 00:32:42,003 --> 00:32:43,713
  3005. here's my address
  3006. and phone number.
  3007.  
  3008. 648
  3009. 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,132
  3010. And you can call me
  3011. any time, okay?
  3012.  
  3013. 649
  3014. 00:32:46,215 --> 00:32:47,258
  3015. Will do.
  3016.  
  3017. 650
  3018. 00:32:47,425 --> 00:32:50,303
  3019. Here it goes, in the really important
  3020. pocket for really important stuff.
  3021.  
  3022. 651
  3023. 00:32:50,386 --> 00:32:52,013
  3024. Okay? Okay.
  3025.  
  3026. 652
  3027. 00:32:52,180 --> 00:32:53,848
  3028. Okay.
  3029. See you later.
  3030.  
  3031. 653
  3032. 00:32:53,931 --> 00:32:54,932
  3033. Come on, Robert.
  3034.  
  3035. 654
  3036. 00:32:55,016 --> 00:32:56,017
  3037. TED: Take it easy.
  3038.  
  3039. 655
  3040. 00:32:56,184 --> 00:32:57,226
  3041. What the fuck?
  3042.  
  3043. 656
  3044. 00:32:57,393 --> 00:32:59,353
  3045. Can you imagine what that
  3046. little shit would do to me?
  3047.  
  3048. 657
  3049. 00:32:59,437 --> 00:33:01,314
  3050. I could totally see him just
  3051. taking you down to the basement
  3052.  
  3053. 658
  3054. 00:33:01,397 --> 00:33:02,940
  3055. and really slowly
  3056. de-limbing you
  3057.  
  3058. 659
  3059. 00:33:03,024 --> 00:33:05,359
  3060. while singing some creepy
  3061. Victorian nursery rhyme.
  3062.  
  3063. 660
  3064. 00:33:05,735 --> 00:33:08,154
  3065. <i>(SINGING) Oh, my little sixpence</i>
  3066. <i>My pretty little sixpence</i>
  3067.  
  3068. 661
  3069. 00:33:08,237 --> 00:33:10,114
  3070. Stop it.
  3071. Knock it off.
  3072.  
  3073. 662
  3074. 00:33:10,198 --> 00:33:11,699
  3075. <i>I love my sixpence</i>
  3076. <i>Better than my life</i>
  3077.  
  3078. 663
  3079. 00:33:11,782 --> 00:33:13,659
  3080. Stop it! Fuck! Why you got
  3081. to take it to that place?
  3082.  
  3083. 664
  3084. 00:33:13,743 --> 00:33:16,287
  3085. You took it to a very... Now it's real.
  3086. Now it's a real thing.
  3087.  
  3088. 665
  3089. 00:33:16,370 --> 00:33:17,538
  3090. Come on.
  3091. Take it easy.
  3092.  
  3093. 666
  3094. 00:33:17,622 --> 00:33:20,583
  3095. All right, look, let's just find
  3096. a better place to get stoned.
  3097.  
  3098. 667
  3099. 00:33:37,934 --> 00:33:39,227
  3100. (GRUNTS)
  3101.  
  3102. 668
  3103. 00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:41,729
  3104. (SIGHS)
  3105.  
  3106. 669
  3107. 00:33:42,438 --> 00:33:44,065
  3108. I guess this is it, huh?
  3109.  
  3110. 670
  3111. 00:33:44,232 --> 00:33:46,526
  3112. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.
  3113.  
  3114. 671
  3115. 00:33:46,692 --> 00:33:47,818
  3116. First night on your own.
  3117.  
  3118. 672
  3119. 00:33:48,152 --> 00:33:51,280
  3120. Yeah, first night in
  3121. my beautiful new apartment.
  3122.  
  3123. 673
  3124. 00:33:51,906 --> 00:33:53,449
  3125. It'll be great
  3126. when it's furnished.
  3127.  
  3128. 674
  3129. 00:33:53,616 --> 00:33:55,993
  3130. Yeah, and the guy said it ain't
  3131. hardly had no murders in it.
  3132.  
  3133. 675
  3134. 00:33:56,077 --> 00:33:57,995
  3135. So, that's good.
  3136.  
  3137. 676
  3138. 00:33:58,829 --> 00:34:01,666
  3139. Okay, so,
  3140. if you need anything...
  3141.  
  3142. 677
  3143. 00:34:01,832 --> 00:34:05,461
  3144. Yeah, I know. Don't worry,
  3145. Johnny, I'll be fine.
  3146.  
  3147. 678
  3148. 00:34:06,337 --> 00:34:08,339
  3149. I know you will.
  3150.  
  3151. 679
  3152. 00:34:09,131 --> 00:34:10,258
  3153. (SIGHS) All right.
  3154.  
  3155. 680
  3156. 00:34:35,992 --> 00:34:37,368
  3157. Hey there.
  3158.  
  3159. 681
  3160. 00:34:37,451 --> 00:34:38,494
  3161. Hey.
  3162.  
  3163. 682
  3164. 00:34:38,578 --> 00:34:40,162
  3165. Hi.
  3166. Hi.
  3167.  
  3168. 683
  3169. 00:34:42,498 --> 00:34:46,127
  3170. Listen, I just want
  3171. to say thank you.
  3172.  
  3173. 684
  3174. 00:34:47,044 --> 00:34:50,506
  3175. I know what you did
  3176. with Ted wasn't easy,
  3177.  
  3178. 685
  3179. 00:34:51,007 --> 00:34:54,427
  3180. and I just want you to know
  3181. that I love you for it,
  3182.  
  3183. 686
  3184. 00:34:54,510 --> 00:34:58,347
  3185. and I think it's a new beginning
  3186. for our relationship.
  3187.  
  3188. 687
  3189. 00:34:58,723 --> 00:35:01,434
  3190. Hey, anything for you.
  3191.  
  3192. 688
  3193. 00:35:01,517 --> 00:35:03,978
  3194. This is all part of the new,
  3195. grown-up adult John Bennett,
  3196.  
  3197. 689
  3198. 00:35:04,061 --> 00:35:06,731
  3199. so you better
  3200. get used to him.
  3201.  
  3202. 690
  3203. 00:35:06,814 --> 00:35:07,857
  3204. Really?
  3205.  
  3206. 691
  3207. 00:35:08,816 --> 00:35:11,027
  3208. Well, you know,
  3209.  
  3210. 692
  3211. 00:35:11,110 --> 00:35:14,780
  3212. I don't have to be at work
  3213. for another 20 minutes.
  3214.  
  3215. 693
  3216. 00:35:15,531 --> 00:35:17,158
  3217. Well, that's perfect.
  3218.  
  3219. 694
  3220. 00:35:17,241 --> 00:35:19,118
  3221. Because I'm only
  3222. going to need one.
  3223.  
  3224. 695
  3225. 00:35:19,243 --> 00:35:20,286
  3226. (LAUGHS)
  3227.  
  3228. 696
  3229. 00:35:22,204 --> 00:35:24,540
  3230. You know what my favorite
  3231. thing about you is?
  3232.  
  3233. 697
  3234. 00:35:24,874 --> 00:35:29,545
  3235. That, even after four years,
  3236. you can still surprise me.
  3237.  
  3238. 698
  3239. 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:34,967
  3240. To step up and change such
  3241. a huge part of your life
  3242.  
  3243. 699
  3244. 00:35:35,051 --> 00:35:37,762
  3245. just to make your
  3246. girlfriend happier...
  3247.  
  3248. 700
  3249. 00:35:38,304 --> 00:35:40,890
  3250. I don't know, I guess most
  3251. guys wouldn't do that.
  3252.  
  3253. 701
  3254. 00:35:41,057 --> 00:35:44,393
  3255. Well, most guys don't have
  3256. you to motivate them.
  3257.  
  3258. 702
  3259. 00:35:46,771 --> 00:35:49,523
  3260. I know I'm not
  3261. a talking teddy bear,
  3262.  
  3263. 703
  3264. 00:35:50,775 --> 00:35:53,611
  3265. but at least you didn't have to
  3266. make a magical wish to get me.
  3267.  
  3268. 704
  3269. 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:55,780
  3270. How do you know?
  3271.  
  3272. 705
  3273. 00:36:06,916 --> 00:36:08,000
  3274. Oh.
  3275.  
  3276. 706
  3277. 00:36:08,209 --> 00:36:10,002
  3278. Is that a Flash Gordon
  3279. ray gun,
  3280.  
  3281. 707
  3282. 00:36:10,086 --> 00:36:11,837
  3283. or are you just
  3284. happy to see me?
  3285.  
  3286. 708
  3287. 00:36:13,964 --> 00:36:15,174
  3288. (ZAPPING)
  3289. (LAUGHING)
  3290.  
  3291. 709
  3292. 00:36:19,345 --> 00:36:20,846
  3293. There we go.
  3294.  
  3295. 710
  3296. 00:36:21,305 --> 00:36:25,142
  3297. Thank you very much, please come again.
  3298. We have a lot more groceries.
  3299.  
  3300. 711
  3301. 00:36:25,726 --> 00:36:26,769
  3302. (SIGHS)
  3303.  
  3304. 712
  3305. 00:36:30,940 --> 00:36:32,692
  3306. Hey, Ellen.
  3307.  
  3308. 713
  3309. 00:36:32,775 --> 00:36:33,776
  3310. Yeah?
  3311.  
  3312. 714
  3313. 00:36:34,068 --> 00:36:35,111
  3314. Who's that over there?
  3315.  
  3316. 715
  3317. 00:36:36,862 --> 00:36:38,197
  3318. That's the
  3319. new checkout girl.
  3320.  
  3321. 716
  3322. 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:39,949
  3323. Don't know her name.
  3324. Seems cute.
  3325.  
  3326. 717
  3327. 00:36:40,116 --> 00:36:43,202
  3328. Yeah, very cute. Do you know
  3329. what I'd like to do to her?
  3330.  
  3331. 718
  3332. 00:36:43,369 --> 00:36:45,204
  3333. Something I call
  3334. a Dirty Fozzie.
  3335.  
  3336. 719
  3337. 00:37:01,804 --> 00:37:02,847
  3338. (LAUGHING)
  3339.  
  3340. 720
  3341. 00:37:19,113 --> 00:37:21,615
  3342. Okay, all right, so that's
  3343. where we'll draw the line.
  3344.  
  3345. 721
  3346. 00:37:25,995 --> 00:37:27,580
  3347. Hey, how are you
  3348. holding up?
  3349.  
  3350. 722
  3351. 00:37:28,497 --> 00:37:31,792
  3352. Oh, I'm all right. I'm just getting
  3353. used to things, that's all.
  3354.  
  3355. 723
  3356. 00:37:32,293 --> 00:37:33,335
  3357. It's going to be all right.
  3358.  
  3359. 724
  3360. 00:37:33,794 --> 00:37:36,881
  3361. I actually went through something
  3362. like this with my last boyfriend.
  3363.  
  3364. 725
  3365. 00:37:36,964 --> 00:37:38,382
  3366. Really?
  3367. Yeah.
  3368.  
  3369. 726
  3370. 00:37:39,133 --> 00:37:43,012
  3371. We were together for eight
  3372. months, and I really loved him.
  3373.  
  3374. 727
  3375. 00:37:43,179 --> 00:37:46,056
  3376. And then he got
  3377. deported back to Iran,
  3378.  
  3379. 728
  3380. 00:37:46,140 --> 00:37:47,600
  3381. so I know what
  3382. you're going through.
  3383.  
  3384. 729
  3385. 00:37:48,017 --> 00:37:52,354
  3386. Oh, yeah. So, I guess we both
  3387. lost our furry little guy.
  3388.  
  3389. 730
  3390. 00:37:53,022 --> 00:37:54,064
  3391. We sure did.
  3392.  
  3393. 731
  3394. 00:37:54,690 --> 00:37:56,150
  3395. (CELL PHONE RINGING)
  3396.  
  3397. 732
  3398. 00:37:59,695 --> 00:38:01,363
  3399. Hey, Ted. Hey, Johnny,
  3400. what are you doing?
  3401.  
  3402. 733
  3403. 00:38:01,447 --> 00:38:02,698
  3404. You want to come over
  3405. and catch a buzz?
  3406.  
  3407. 734
  3408. 00:38:03,199 --> 00:38:04,658
  3409. Well, I could probably
  3410. stop by after work.
  3411.  
  3412. 735
  3413. 00:38:04,742 --> 00:38:07,369
  3414. Fuck that. I traded off yesterday
  3415. so I got the other shift.
  3416.  
  3417. 736
  3418. 00:38:07,453 --> 00:38:10,039
  3419. Come on, I'm bored as crap over here.
  3420. Just swing by for a bit.
  3421.  
  3422. 737
  3423. 00:38:10,122 --> 00:38:11,707
  3424. I cannot just
  3425. ditch work, man.
  3426.  
  3427. 738
  3428. 00:38:11,832 --> 00:38:12,875
  3429. Look, I'm trying to
  3430. get my shit together
  3431.  
  3432. 739
  3433. 00:38:12,958 --> 00:38:14,752
  3434. and be an adult here,
  3435. for Lori's sake.
  3436.  
  3437. 740
  3438. 00:38:14,919 --> 00:38:17,171
  3439. John, five minutes and then
  3440. I'll kick you out, I promise.
  3441.  
  3442. 741
  3443. 00:38:17,254 --> 00:38:20,341
  3444. Just come over. I got
  3445. the Cheers DVD box set
  3446.  
  3447. 742
  3448. 00:38:20,424 --> 00:38:21,967
  3449. and the guy down
  3450. at the store told me
  3451.  
  3452. 743
  3453. 00:38:22,051 --> 00:38:24,428
  3454. that everybody talks shit about
  3455. each other in the interviews.
  3456.  
  3457. 744
  3458. 00:38:25,554 --> 00:38:26,639
  3459. You'll kick me out
  3460. in five?
  3461.  
  3462. 745
  3463. 00:38:26,722 --> 00:38:29,141
  3464. I will kick you out in five.
  3465. John, I have to kick you out.
  3466.  
  3467. 746
  3468. 00:38:29,225 --> 00:38:32,728
  3469. I have so much teddy bear paperwork
  3470. I have to get to, it is sick.
  3471.  
  3472. 747
  3473. 00:38:32,895 --> 00:38:34,271
  3474. What do I tell Thomas?
  3475.  
  3476. 748
  3477. 00:38:34,355 --> 00:38:35,731
  3478. <i>Just tell him you</i>
  3479. <i>don't feel well.</i>
  3480.  
  3481. 749
  3482. 00:38:36,232 --> 00:38:37,983
  3483. I gotta cut out for a bit.
  3484.  
  3485. 750
  3486. 00:38:38,067 --> 00:38:39,443
  3487. Lori tried to
  3488. break up a dog fight
  3489.  
  3490. 751
  3491. 00:38:39,527 --> 00:38:40,861
  3492. and I guess she
  3493. got hurt pretty bad.
  3494.  
  3495. 752
  3496. 00:38:41,153 --> 00:38:42,196
  3497. Oh, my God!
  3498.  
  3499. 753
  3500. 00:38:42,279 --> 00:38:43,989
  3501. Yeah, that's
  3502. the way she is.
  3503.  
  3504. 754
  3505. 00:38:44,073 --> 00:38:45,533
  3506. She sees trouble and
  3507. she wants to help out,
  3508.  
  3509. 755
  3510. 00:38:45,616 --> 00:38:48,160
  3511. and I guess one of these dogs
  3512. clamped his jaws on her forearm
  3513.  
  3514. 756
  3515. 00:38:48,244 --> 00:38:49,995
  3516. and wouldn't let go
  3517. until the fireman showed up
  3518.  
  3519. 757
  3520. 00:38:50,079 --> 00:38:52,248
  3521. and stuck his finger
  3522. in his ass.
  3523.  
  3524. 758
  3525. 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:54,041
  3526. Oh, Jesus.
  3527.  
  3528. 759
  3529. 00:38:54,124 --> 00:38:55,417
  3530. Yeah, she's
  3531. pretty shook up.
  3532.  
  3533. 760
  3534. 00:38:55,709 --> 00:38:57,336
  3535. Up the dog's ass, right?
  3536.  
  3537. 761
  3538. 00:38:57,419 --> 00:38:59,046
  3539. Yeah, up the dog's,
  3540. not the fireman's ass.
  3541.  
  3542. 762
  3543. 00:38:59,129 --> 00:39:01,549
  3544. I thought the fireman stuck his
  3545. own finger up his own ass.
  3546.  
  3547. 763
  3548. 00:39:01,632 --> 00:39:03,384
  3549. No, I don't think a
  3550. firefighter would do that.
  3551.  
  3552. 764
  3553. 00:39:03,467 --> 00:39:05,511
  3554. Go, take care of it.
  3555. Let me know how she is.
  3556.  
  3557. 765
  3558. 00:39:05,594 --> 00:39:07,096
  3559. Thank you.
  3560. Go.
  3561.  
  3562. 766
  3563. 00:39:08,764 --> 00:39:09,849
  3564. (GROANS)
  3565.  
  3566. 767
  3567. 00:39:10,391 --> 00:39:14,103
  3568. <i>Woody Harrelson. Smallest</i>
  3569. <i>dick I've ever seen on a man.</i>
  3570.  
  3571. 768
  3572. 00:39:14,270 --> 00:39:15,437
  3573. (BOTH LAUGHING)
  3574.  
  3575. 769
  3576. 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:17,982
  3577. See, that's why
  3578. I watch these things.
  3579.  
  3580. 770
  3581. 00:39:18,065 --> 00:39:20,442
  3582. That's like a cool behind-the-scenes
  3583. thing that you wouldn't know.
  3584.  
  3585. 771
  3586. 00:39:20,776 --> 00:39:22,403
  3587. Oh, hey,
  3588. listen, try this.
  3589.  
  3590. 772
  3591. 00:39:22,486 --> 00:39:24,697
  3592. I told my weed guy to step
  3593. it up and he gave me that.
  3594.  
  3595. 773
  3596. 00:39:25,114 --> 00:39:26,156
  3597. What is it?
  3598.  
  3599. 774
  3600. 00:39:26,240 --> 00:39:28,659
  3601. It's called "Mind Rape."
  3602. It's actually pretty mellow.
  3603.  
  3604. 775
  3605. 00:39:29,118 --> 00:39:30,369
  3606. It doesn't sound
  3607. very mellow.
  3608.  
  3609. 776
  3610. 00:39:30,452 --> 00:39:32,371
  3611. Well, he only had
  3612. three other batches.
  3613.  
  3614. 777
  3615. 00:39:32,454 --> 00:39:33,747
  3616. "Gorilla Panic,"
  3617.  
  3618. 778
  3619. 00:39:33,831 --> 00:39:35,708
  3620. "They're Coming,
  3621. They're Coming,"
  3622.  
  3623. 779
  3624. 00:39:35,791 --> 00:39:37,585
  3625. and something called,
  3626. "This is Permanent."
  3627.  
  3628. 780
  3629. 00:39:37,668 --> 00:39:38,669
  3630. Go on, spark it up.
  3631.  
  3632. 781
  3633. 00:39:44,091 --> 00:39:45,175
  3634. (COUGHING)
  3635.  
  3636. 782
  3637. 00:39:45,801 --> 00:39:47,720
  3638. There you go.
  3639. You got it.
  3640.  
  3641. 783
  3642. 00:39:47,845 --> 00:39:48,929
  3643. (LAUGHS)
  3644.  
  3645. 784
  3646. 00:39:49,013 --> 00:39:52,182
  3647. Nice. Good, huh?
  3648. Good job.
  3649.  
  3650. 785
  3651. 00:39:53,225 --> 00:39:55,227
  3652. Yeah.
  3653. Take pride in that.
  3654.  
  3655. 786
  3656. 00:39:55,728 --> 00:39:57,021
  3657. You know,
  3658. this place looks great.
  3659.  
  3660. 787
  3661. 00:39:57,146 --> 00:39:58,939
  3662. Thanks, man,
  3663. it's all IKEA.
  3664.  
  3665. 788
  3666. 00:39:59,023 --> 00:40:00,482
  3667. Did the whole place
  3668. for $47.
  3669.  
  3670. 789
  3671. 00:40:00,816 --> 00:40:02,401
  3672. Nice.
  3673. Yeah.
  3674.  
  3675. 790
  3676. 00:40:02,484 --> 00:40:03,944
  3677. How are the neighbors?
  3678.  
  3679. 791
  3680. 00:40:04,486 --> 00:40:06,447
  3681. You know, there's an Asian
  3682. family living next door
  3683.  
  3684. 792
  3685. 00:40:06,530 --> 00:40:08,741
  3686. but they don't have a gong or
  3687. nothing, so it's not too bad.
  3688.  
  3689. 793
  3690. 00:40:08,824 --> 00:40:10,659
  3691. That's lucky.
  3692. Yeah, it is.
  3693.  
  3694. 794
  3695. 00:40:11,035 --> 00:40:12,703
  3696. How's work?
  3697. It sucks.
  3698.  
  3699. 795
  3700. 00:40:13,329 --> 00:40:14,288
  3701. You?
  3702.  
  3703. 796
  3704. 00:40:14,371 --> 00:40:15,497
  3705. You know,
  3706. not bad actually.
  3707.  
  3708. 797
  3709. 00:40:15,581 --> 00:40:17,041
  3710. I met a girl.
  3711. She's a cashier.
  3712.  
  3713. 798
  3714. 00:40:17,207 --> 00:40:18,751
  3715. No way, that's awesome! Yeah.
  3716.  
  3717. 799
  3718. 00:40:18,834 --> 00:40:20,502
  3719. Well, we should fucking
  3720. double-date, or something.
  3721.  
  3722. 800
  3723. 00:40:20,586 --> 00:40:22,212
  3724. You, me and Lori,
  3725. and what's her name?
  3726.  
  3727. 801
  3728. 00:40:22,296 --> 00:40:23,797
  3729. White trash name.
  3730. Guess.
  3731.  
  3732. 802
  3733. 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:26,342
  3734. Mandy?
  3735. No.
  3736.  
  3737. 803
  3738. 00:40:27,176 --> 00:40:28,344
  3739. Marilyn?
  3740. No.
  3741.  
  3742. 804
  3743. 00:40:28,510 --> 00:40:30,346
  3744. Britney? Tiffany?
  3745. No. No.
  3746.  
  3747. 805
  3748. 00:40:30,512 --> 00:40:31,597
  3749. Candice?
  3750. No.
  3751.  
  3752. 806
  3753. 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:33,307
  3754. Don't fuck with me on this.
  3755. I know this shit!
  3756.  
  3757. 807
  3758. 00:40:33,432 --> 00:40:35,100
  3759. Do you see me fucking with you?
  3760. All right, speed round.
  3761.  
  3762. 808
  3763. 00:40:35,184 --> 00:40:36,393
  3764. I'm going to
  3765. rattle off some names
  3766.  
  3767. 809
  3768. 00:40:36,477 --> 00:40:37,603
  3769. and when I hit it,
  3770. fucking buzz it.
  3771.  
  3772. 810
  3773. 00:40:37,686 --> 00:40:38,896
  3774. I will tell you.
  3775. You got me?
  3776.  
  3777. 811
  3778. 00:40:39,063 --> 00:40:40,189
  3779. All right,
  3780. Brandi, Heather, Channing,
  3781.  
  3782. 812
  3783. 00:40:40,272 --> 00:40:41,482
  3784. Breanna, Amber,
  3785. Sabrina, Melody,
  3786.  
  3787. 813
  3788. 00:40:41,565 --> 00:40:42,733
  3789. Dakota, Sierra,
  3790. Bambi, Crystal,
  3791.  
  3792. 814
  3793. 00:40:42,900 --> 00:40:44,777
  3794. Samantha, Autumn, Ruby,
  3795. Taylor, Tara, Tami,
  3796.  
  3797. 815
  3798. 00:40:44,944 --> 00:40:47,196
  3799. Lauren, Charlene, Chantal,
  3800. Courtney, Misty, Jenny, Krista,
  3801.  
  3802. 816
  3803. 00:40:47,363 --> 00:40:49,156
  3804. Mindy, Noelle, Shelby,
  3805. Trina, Reba, Cassandra,
  3806.  
  3807. 817
  3808. 00:40:49,323 --> 00:40:50,908
  3809. Nikki, Kelsey, Shawna,
  3810. Jolene, Earline, Claudine,
  3811.  
  3812. 818
  3813. 00:40:51,075 --> 00:40:53,077
  3814. Savannah, Kasey, Dolly, Kendra,
  3815. Carla, Chloe, Devon, Emmylou.
  3816.  
  3817. 819
  3818. 00:40:53,243 --> 00:40:54,662
  3819. Fucking Becky?
  3820. No.
  3821.  
  3822. 820
  3823. 00:40:55,371 --> 00:40:57,873
  3824. Wait, was it any one of those
  3825. names with a "Lynn" after it?
  3826.  
  3827. 821
  3828. 00:40:58,082 --> 00:40:59,124
  3829. Yes.
  3830.  
  3831. 822
  3832. 00:40:59,208 --> 00:41:00,417
  3833. I got you, motherfucker.
  3834.  
  3835. 823
  3836. 00:41:00,542 --> 00:41:02,002
  3837. I got you. Okay.
  3838.  
  3839. 824
  3840. 00:41:02,169 --> 00:41:03,796
  3841. Brandi-Lynn, Heather-Lynn, Channing...
  3842. Tami-Lynn.
  3843.  
  3844. 825
  3845. 00:41:03,879 --> 00:41:04,964
  3846. Fuck!
  3847.  
  3848. 826
  3849. 00:41:08,509 --> 00:41:09,510
  3850. What the hell?
  3851.  
  3852. 827
  3853. 00:41:09,593 --> 00:41:11,804
  3854. Hey, man, you think you can
  3855. open more than one register?
  3856.  
  3857. 828
  3858. 00:41:11,887 --> 00:41:13,514
  3859. There's, like,
  3860. 1,000 people here.
  3861.  
  3862. 829
  3863. 00:41:13,597 --> 00:41:15,808
  3864. There's supposed to be
  3865. three registers open.
  3866.  
  3867. 830
  3868. 00:41:15,891 --> 00:41:17,559
  3869. For God's sakes.
  3870.  
  3871. 831
  3872. 00:41:22,481 --> 00:41:23,732
  3873. (WOMAN MOANING)
  3874.  
  3875. 832
  3876. 00:41:25,985 --> 00:41:27,194
  3877. (TED GRUNTING)
  3878.  
  3879. 833
  3880. 00:41:30,906 --> 00:41:33,575
  3881. TED: Stick your finger
  3882. in the loop of my tag.
  3883.  
  3884. 834
  3885. 00:41:34,410 --> 00:41:36,996
  3886. You had sexual intercourse
  3887. with a co-worker
  3888.  
  3889. 835
  3890. 00:41:37,079 --> 00:41:39,915
  3891. on top of the produce
  3892. that we sell to the public.
  3893.  
  3894. 836
  3895. 00:41:40,082 --> 00:41:42,334
  3896. I fucked her with
  3897. a parsnip last week
  3898.  
  3899. 837
  3900. 00:41:42,418 --> 00:41:45,796
  3901. and I sold the parsnip to a
  3902. family with four small children.
  3903.  
  3904. 838
  3905. 00:41:46,588 --> 00:41:50,217
  3906. That took guts.
  3907. We need guts.
  3908.  
  3909. 839
  3910. 00:41:50,384 --> 00:41:52,094
  3911. I'm promoting you.
  3912.  
  3913. 840
  3914. 00:41:52,761 --> 00:41:54,930
  3915. You got a lot of problems,
  3916. don't you?
  3917.  
  3918. 841
  3919. 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:09,486
  3920. All right, Kareem!
  3921.  
  3922. 842
  3923. 00:42:09,570 --> 00:42:10,654
  3924. (GLASS SHATTERING)
  3925.  
  3926. 843
  3927. 00:42:10,738 --> 00:42:12,614
  3928. Ah! You suck, Kareem.
  3929.  
  3930. 844
  3931. 00:42:15,325 --> 00:42:16,702
  3932. (BOTTLE TINKLING)
  3933.  
  3934. 845
  3935. 00:42:19,163 --> 00:42:20,497
  3936. Hello?
  3937.  
  3938. 846
  3939. 00:42:24,376 --> 00:42:25,461
  3940. Huh.
  3941.  
  3942. 847
  3943. 00:42:29,006 --> 00:42:30,466
  3944. Hey, Ted.
  3945. (EXCLAIMS)
  3946.  
  3947. 848
  3948. 00:42:32,509 --> 00:42:34,470
  3949. Hey there, fella.
  3950. How are you?
  3951.  
  3952. 849
  3953. 00:42:35,387 --> 00:42:36,847
  3954. Are you out here
  3955. all alone?
  3956.  
  3957. 850
  3958. 00:42:37,139 --> 00:42:39,141
  3959. Uh, no, no, I'm not.
  3960.  
  3961. 851
  3962. 00:42:39,850 --> 00:42:42,227
  3963. You know, you're never alone
  3964. when you're with Christ.
  3965.  
  3966. 852
  3967. 00:42:42,311 --> 00:42:44,605
  3968. So, no, I'm not alone.
  3969.  
  3970. 853
  3971. 00:42:44,688 --> 00:42:47,524
  3972. Yeah. Me, too.
  3973.  
  3974. 854
  3975. 00:42:50,611 --> 00:42:53,822
  3976. You know, Robert and I could
  3977. give you a very, very good home.
  3978.  
  3979. 855
  3980. 00:42:53,989 --> 00:42:56,200
  3981. Yeah, I'm pretty happy
  3982. where I am.
  3983.  
  3984. 856
  3985. 00:42:56,283 --> 00:42:57,659
  3986. I just got
  3987. a shitty new apartment...
  3988.  
  3989. 857
  3990. 00:42:57,826 --> 00:43:00,621
  3991. I can offer you
  3992. $6,000 in rail road bonds.
  3993.  
  3994. 858
  3995. 00:43:01,288 --> 00:43:03,207
  3996. Well, you know,
  3997. since I just returned
  3998.  
  3999. 859
  4000. 00:43:03,290 --> 00:43:05,000
  4001. from active duty
  4002. in the Civil War
  4003.  
  4004. 860
  4005. 00:43:05,084 --> 00:43:06,460
  4006. that actually
  4007. sounds very appealing.
  4008.  
  4009. 861
  4010. 00:43:06,543 --> 00:43:07,753
  4011. Oh, wait, I'm sorry.
  4012.  
  4013. 862
  4014. 00:43:07,836 --> 00:43:11,006
  4015. That was 150 years ago
  4016. and I don't give a shit.
  4017.  
  4018. 863
  4019. 00:43:11,507 --> 00:43:12,716
  4020. Okay.
  4021.  
  4022. 864
  4023. 00:43:15,135 --> 00:43:17,846
  4024. Teddy, come on, we're going to be
  4025. late for dinner with your friends.
  4026.  
  4027. 865
  4028. 00:43:17,930 --> 00:43:19,431
  4029. Okay, be there
  4030. in a second, baby.
  4031.  
  4032. 866
  4033. 00:43:19,515 --> 00:43:21,767
  4034. As you can see, my dance
  4035. card is quite full.
  4036.  
  4037. 867
  4038. 00:43:21,850 --> 00:43:23,519
  4039. So, I'm going to
  4040. have to decline.
  4041.  
  4042. 868
  4043. 00:43:23,685 --> 00:43:24,978
  4044. Can I just get a hug?
  4045.  
  4046. 869
  4047. 00:43:25,354 --> 00:43:27,314
  4048. Oh, uh. No.
  4049.  
  4050. 870
  4051. 00:43:27,481 --> 00:43:29,024
  4052. Yeah.
  4053. No, no.
  4054.  
  4055. 871
  4056. 00:43:29,191 --> 00:43:32,194
  4057. And it kills me to have to tell you
  4058. no, because I'm a people pleaser.
  4059.  
  4060. 872
  4061. 00:43:32,361 --> 00:43:33,445
  4062. Yeah.
  4063.  
  4064. 873
  4065. 00:43:33,612 --> 00:43:35,489
  4066. Thank you for
  4067. creeping up my night.
  4068.  
  4069. 874
  4070. 00:43:35,656 --> 00:43:37,282
  4071. And Jesus be with you...
  4072. Okay.
  4073.  
  4074. 875
  4075. 00:43:37,366 --> 00:43:38,367
  4076. ...In Christ.
  4077.  
  4078. 876
  4079. 00:43:39,993 --> 00:43:41,370
  4080. TAMI-LYNN:
  4081. Who was that guy?
  4082.  
  4083. 877
  4084. 00:43:41,453 --> 00:43:43,163
  4085. That was
  4086. Sinead O'Connor.
  4087.  
  4088. 878
  4089. 00:43:43,247 --> 00:43:44,540
  4090. She don't look
  4091. so good no more.
  4092.  
  4093. 879
  4094. 00:43:49,545 --> 00:43:51,505
  4095. How great is this? The
  4096. four of us out to dinner.
  4097.  
  4098. 880
  4099. 00:43:51,588 --> 00:43:53,382
  4100. How long have we been saying
  4101. we were going to...
  4102.  
  4103. 881
  4104. 00:43:53,549 --> 00:43:56,260
  4105. Lori, how you doing? I haven't
  4106. talked to you in forever.
  4107.  
  4108. 882
  4109. 00:43:56,343 --> 00:43:58,137
  4110. I'm good. I'm good.
  4111.  
  4112. 883
  4113. 00:43:58,220 --> 00:44:00,806
  4114. The company's having their 20th
  4115. anniversary party next week.
  4116.  
  4117. 884
  4118. 00:44:00,889 --> 00:44:02,474
  4119. So, that's something.
  4120.  
  4121. 885
  4122. 00:44:02,766 --> 00:44:04,852
  4123. Lori's a senior VP
  4124. at a big, huge PR firm.
  4125.  
  4126. 886
  4127. 00:44:04,935 --> 00:44:06,687
  4128. It's not that
  4129. big of a deal.
  4130.  
  4131. 887
  4132. 00:44:06,770 --> 00:44:07,980
  4133. Company's turning 20, huh?
  4134.  
  4135. 888
  4136. 00:44:08,063 --> 00:44:10,107
  4137. So you can bang it,
  4138. but you can't get it drunk.
  4139.  
  4140. 889
  4141. 00:44:10,649 --> 00:44:13,068
  4142. (LAUGHING) Right?
  4143. Yeah, she gets it.
  4144.  
  4145. 890
  4146. 00:44:13,152 --> 00:44:15,529
  4147. She enjoys my humor.
  4148.  
  4149. 891
  4150. 00:44:16,113 --> 00:44:18,115
  4151. Yeah, Rex is having
  4152. a house party
  4153.  
  4154. 892
  4155. 00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:20,534
  4156. but I'm surprised John
  4157. didn't tell you, considering
  4158.  
  4159. 893
  4160. 00:44:20,617 --> 00:44:23,495
  4161. you two have seen each other every
  4162. single day since you moved out.
  4163.  
  4164. 894
  4165. 00:44:24,163 --> 00:44:27,416
  4166. You know, it's funny, because
  4167. whenever Johnny and I hang out
  4168.  
  4169. 895
  4170. 00:44:27,499 --> 00:44:29,751
  4171. the first item
  4172. on our agenda is,
  4173.  
  4174. 896
  4175. 00:44:29,835 --> 00:44:31,044
  4176. "What's going on
  4177. with Lori?"
  4178.  
  4179. 897
  4180. 00:44:31,211 --> 00:44:33,255
  4181. So, it's funny that
  4182. that didn't come up.
  4183.  
  4184. 898
  4185. 00:44:33,338 --> 00:44:34,464
  4186. That must have
  4187. slipped through the cracks.
  4188.  
  4189. 899
  4190. 00:44:34,548 --> 00:44:36,008
  4191. Yeah, but we do talk
  4192. about you all the time.
  4193.  
  4194. 900
  4195. 00:44:36,091 --> 00:44:37,885
  4196. Yeah, you remember the
  4197. other day, I was saying
  4198.  
  4199. 901
  4200. 00:44:37,968 --> 00:44:40,387
  4201. how great Lori's
  4202. hair always looks.
  4203.  
  4204. 902
  4205. 00:44:40,679 --> 00:44:42,639
  4206. Oh, my God,
  4207. it always looks so great!
  4208.  
  4209. 903
  4210. 00:44:42,723 --> 00:44:44,600
  4211. I always want to
  4212. fucking brush it.
  4213.  
  4214. 904
  4215. 00:44:44,683 --> 00:44:45,893
  4216. Right, Johnny?
  4217. I say that.
  4218.  
  4219. 905
  4220. 00:44:48,812 --> 00:44:50,314
  4221. So, Tami-Lynn,
  4222.  
  4223. 906
  4224. 00:44:50,397 --> 00:44:52,733
  4225. why don't you tell us
  4226. a little bit about yourself?
  4227.  
  4228. 907
  4229. 00:44:52,816 --> 00:44:53,942
  4230. Like, where are you from?
  4231.  
  4232. 908
  4233. 00:44:54,026 --> 00:44:56,695
  4234. I'm always fascinated
  4235. to meet Ted's girlfriends.
  4236.  
  4237. 909
  4238. 00:44:57,112 --> 00:44:58,697
  4239. What do you
  4240. mean "girlfriends"?
  4241.  
  4242. 910
  4243. 00:44:58,780 --> 00:45:00,449
  4244. Was there a lot of them
  4245. or something?
  4246.  
  4247. 911
  4248. 00:45:00,616 --> 00:45:02,993
  4249. No, that's not what she meant at all.
  4250. Right, Lori?
  4251.  
  4252. 912
  4253. 00:45:03,118 --> 00:45:04,453
  4254. Lori, you didn't mean that.
  4255. No, no,no.
  4256.  
  4257. 913
  4258. 00:45:04,828 --> 00:45:06,622
  4259. What I meant to say
  4260. was Ted's very handsome
  4261.  
  4262. 914
  4263. 00:45:06,997 --> 00:45:08,624
  4264. so I'm always
  4265. interested in meeting
  4266.  
  4267. 915
  4268. 00:45:08,707 --> 00:45:10,542
  4269. the lady that
  4270. can snatch him up.
  4271.  
  4272. 916
  4273. 00:45:11,168 --> 00:45:12,377
  4274. Did you just
  4275. call me a whore?
  4276.  
  4277. 917
  4278. 00:45:12,461 --> 00:45:13,462
  4279. What?
  4280.  
  4281. 918
  4282. 00:45:13,629 --> 00:45:16,006
  4283. You just worry about your own
  4284. "snatch." How about that, honey?
  4285.  
  4286. 919
  4287. 00:45:16,089 --> 00:45:17,090
  4288. Whoa! Whoa!
  4289. JOHN: Whoa!
  4290.  
  4291. 920
  4292. 00:45:17,174 --> 00:45:19,092
  4293. What the hell happened? We're
  4294. having a friendly meal here.
  4295.  
  4296. 921
  4297. 00:45:19,176 --> 00:45:20,260
  4298. This was a nice evening.
  4299.  
  4300. 922
  4301. 00:45:20,344 --> 00:45:21,386
  4302. Don't talk shit to me.
  4303.  
  4304. 923
  4305. 00:45:21,553 --> 00:45:22,930
  4306. I just asked you
  4307. a question.
  4308.  
  4309. 924
  4310. 00:45:23,013 --> 00:45:24,473
  4311. You know,
  4312. you're a freaking snob.
  4313.  
  4314. 925
  4315. 00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:25,891
  4316. You think you're
  4317. cool because you work
  4318.  
  4319. 926
  4320. 00:45:25,974 --> 00:45:27,601
  4321. at some fucking fancy
  4322. shit place, whatever.
  4323.  
  4324. 927
  4325. 00:45:27,684 --> 00:45:29,811
  4326. Okay, take it easy.
  4327. Nice, Lori, real nice.
  4328.  
  4329. 928
  4330. 00:45:29,895 --> 00:45:32,147
  4331. Me? It's not my fault
  4332. she can't speak English.
  4333.  
  4334. 929
  4335. 00:45:32,231 --> 00:45:33,357
  4336. Oh, fuck you!
  4337.  
  4338. 930
  4339. 00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:35,609
  4340. Just because you're on the business
  4341. world and shit you think, what,
  4342.  
  4343. 931
  4344. 00:45:35,692 --> 00:45:37,319
  4345. everybody should suck your
  4346. asshole, or something?
  4347.  
  4348. 932
  4349. 00:45:37,444 --> 00:45:39,738
  4350. Okay. All right, Tami, come on, honey.
  4351. Let's get out of here.
  4352.  
  4353. 933
  4354. 00:45:39,821 --> 00:45:42,115
  4355. We'll go back to my place for a
  4356. couple of vodka and strawberry Quiks.
  4357.  
  4358. 934
  4359. 00:45:42,199 --> 00:45:43,951
  4360. You know what?
  4361. I gave birth once, bitch.
  4362.  
  4363. 935
  4364. 00:45:44,034 --> 00:45:45,327
  4365. I could kick
  4366. your fucking ass.
  4367.  
  4368. 936
  4369. 00:45:45,619 --> 00:45:47,704
  4370. And you better never show your
  4371. face around Quincy, you hear me?
  4372.  
  4373. 937
  4374. 00:45:47,788 --> 00:45:48,956
  4375. Okay, come on.
  4376. Ever!
  4377.  
  4378. 938
  4379. 00:45:49,039 --> 00:45:50,666
  4380. I didn't know you had a baby.
  4381. Is it alive?
  4382.  
  4383. 939
  4384. 00:45:50,958 --> 00:45:52,042
  4385. (SIGHS)
  4386.  
  4387. 940
  4388. 00:45:52,501 --> 00:45:53,669
  4389. What a cunt.
  4390.  
  4391. 941
  4392. 00:45:53,835 --> 00:45:55,462
  4393. Ow! I hate that word!
  4394.  
  4395. 942
  4396. 00:45:55,545 --> 00:45:56,630
  4397. What?
  4398. That word.
  4399.  
  4400. 943
  4401. 00:45:56,713 --> 00:45:58,215
  4402. It's so sharp,
  4403. it's like an electric sword
  4404.  
  4405. 944
  4406. 00:45:58,298 --> 00:45:59,424
  4407. slashing
  4408. everything in its path.
  4409.  
  4410. 945
  4411. 00:45:59,508 --> 00:46:00,759
  4412. Why would you say that?
  4413.  
  4414. 946
  4415. 00:46:00,842 --> 00:46:02,636
  4416. You didn't exactly
  4417. stand up for me.
  4418.  
  4419. 947
  4420. 00:46:02,844 --> 00:46:04,346
  4421. I'm trying to
  4422. walk a line, here.
  4423.  
  4424. 948
  4425. 00:46:04,429 --> 00:46:05,722
  4426. I want to be fair to you
  4427. and to him, you know?
  4428.  
  4429. 949
  4430. 00:46:05,806 --> 00:46:07,641
  4431. I think you're being a
  4432. little more fair to him.
  4433.  
  4434. 950
  4435. 00:46:07,724 --> 00:46:08,850
  4436. Oh, come on.
  4437.  
  4438. 951
  4439. 00:46:09,977 --> 00:46:13,355
  4440. You know, your boss called this
  4441. morning asking me how my arm was.
  4442.  
  4443. 952
  4444. 00:46:14,231 --> 00:46:15,232
  4445. Huh?
  4446.  
  4447. 953
  4448. 00:46:15,357 --> 00:46:18,527
  4449. Yeah, because of that dog fight
  4450. that I tried to break up.
  4451.  
  4452. 954
  4453. 00:46:19,278 --> 00:46:20,362
  4454. Oh.
  4455.  
  4456. 955
  4457. 00:46:20,779 --> 00:46:21,947
  4458. If I had to make a guess
  4459.  
  4460. 956
  4461. 00:46:22,030 --> 00:46:24,241
  4462. I would say that you made
  4463. up some bullshit excuse
  4464.  
  4465. 957
  4466. 00:46:24,324 --> 00:46:25,701
  4467. to get out of work
  4468. to go to Ted's.
  4469.  
  4470. 958
  4471. 00:46:25,784 --> 00:46:28,161
  4472. Now, am I right?
  4473.  
  4474. 959
  4475. 00:46:29,705 --> 00:46:30,872
  4476. I made you out to
  4477. be a hero.
  4478.  
  4479. 960
  4480. 00:46:30,956 --> 00:46:32,291
  4481. You know what, John,
  4482. we asked Ted to move out
  4483.  
  4484. 961
  4485. 00:46:32,374 --> 00:46:33,917
  4486. so we can give ourselves
  4487. a chance without him.
  4488.  
  4489. 962
  4490. 00:46:34,167 --> 00:46:36,044
  4491. You're not giving
  4492. anything a chance
  4493.  
  4494. 963
  4495. 00:46:36,169 --> 00:46:38,714
  4496. if you keep blowing off work to
  4497. get high with your teddy bear.
  4498.  
  4499. 964
  4500. 00:46:40,090 --> 00:46:41,717
  4501. You're right.
  4502.  
  4503. 965
  4504. 00:46:42,426 --> 00:46:44,511
  4505. I've been getting stoned too much.
  4506. I know that.
  4507.  
  4508. 966
  4509. 00:46:44,678 --> 00:46:47,931
  4510. I've been bumming around with Ted too much.
  4511. I know that, too.
  4512.  
  4513. 967
  4514. 00:46:48,015 --> 00:46:50,267
  4515. You give me one more chance,
  4516. I promise I can fix it.
  4517.  
  4518. 968
  4519. 00:46:51,351 --> 00:46:54,980
  4520. John, I need a man. Not a
  4521. little boy with a teddy bear.
  4522.  
  4523. 969
  4524. 00:46:55,063 --> 00:46:58,317
  4525. I know, done. Man. Right here,
  4526. in front of you, all right?
  4527.  
  4528. 970
  4529. 00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,986
  4530. Look at these pecs.
  4531. These are man pecs.
  4532.  
  4533. 971
  4534. 00:47:01,069 --> 00:47:03,530
  4535. Look at the hair on my upper lip.
  4536. That's man hair.
  4537.  
  4538. 972
  4539. 00:47:04,614 --> 00:47:06,575
  4540. I just farted.
  4541. That was a man fart.
  4542.  
  4543. 973
  4544. 00:47:06,658 --> 00:47:07,701
  4545. (GIGGLES)
  4546.  
  4547. 974
  4548. 00:47:13,749 --> 00:47:18,128
  4549. Fine, John, but this is, I swear
  4550. to God, your last chance.
  4551.  
  4552. 975
  4553. 00:47:18,587 --> 00:47:19,921
  4554. Trust me. I love you.
  4555.  
  4556. 976
  4557. 00:47:20,255 --> 00:47:21,590
  4558. All right, I love you.
  4559.  
  4560. 977
  4561. 00:47:21,757 --> 00:47:23,967
  4562. I love you so much. You
  4563. won't be sorry, I swear.
  4564.  
  4565. 978
  4566. 00:47:24,926 --> 00:47:26,261
  4567. Did you really just fart?
  4568.  
  4569. 979
  4570. 00:47:26,428 --> 00:47:28,513
  4571. Yeah, but I pushed it
  4572. that way with my hand.
  4573.  
  4574. 980
  4575. 00:47:29,431 --> 00:47:31,224
  4576. I wonder who it's
  4577. going to hit first.
  4578.  
  4579. 981
  4580. 00:47:31,308 --> 00:47:33,143
  4581. So, if I told him once,
  4582. I told him a million times
  4583.  
  4584. 982
  4585. 00:47:33,268 --> 00:47:36,104
  4586. these numbers do not add up.
  4587. (GAGGING)
  4588.  
  4589. 983
  4590. 00:47:36,188 --> 00:47:38,065
  4591. Who did this to us?
  4592.  
  4593. 984
  4594. 00:47:38,148 --> 00:47:41,568
  4595. God damn it!
  4596. I'm here on business!
  4597.  
  4598. 985
  4599. 00:47:42,110 --> 00:47:43,236
  4600. (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
  4601.  
  4602. 986
  4603. 00:47:45,655 --> 00:47:47,324
  4604. LORI: All right,
  4605. here we go.
  4606.  
  4607. 987
  4608. 00:47:47,616 --> 00:47:48,784
  4609. (DOORBELL RINGING)
  4610.  
  4611. 988
  4612. 00:47:50,619 --> 00:47:52,037
  4613. I'm really glad
  4614. that you came.
  4615.  
  4616. 989
  4617. 00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,372
  4618. Me, too.
  4619. Yeah?
  4620.  
  4621. 990
  4622. 00:47:53,455 --> 00:47:55,499
  4623. Is it okay if I
  4624. kick your boss's ass?
  4625.  
  4626. 991
  4627. 00:47:55,582 --> 00:47:57,542
  4628. That won't affect your
  4629. workplace chemistry, will it?
  4630.  
  4631. 992
  4632. 00:47:57,626 --> 00:47:59,211
  4633. Please play nice.
  4634.  
  4635. 993
  4636. 00:47:59,294 --> 00:48:00,462
  4637. For you, I will.
  4638.  
  4639. 994
  4640. 00:48:00,545 --> 00:48:02,005
  4641. Thank you.
  4642. Anything.
  4643.  
  4644. 995
  4645. 00:48:04,758 --> 00:48:07,427
  4646. There she is. I was worried
  4647. you weren't coming.
  4648.  
  4649. 996
  4650. 00:48:07,511 --> 00:48:09,930
  4651. Hey, squirt, how you doing?
  4652. Where's your bunny rabbit?
  4653.  
  4654. 997
  4655. 00:48:10,430 --> 00:48:11,431
  4656. He's a bear.
  4657.  
  4658. 998
  4659. 00:48:11,515 --> 00:48:14,935
  4660. Got it. Oh, my God! This
  4661. house is fucking huge!
  4662.  
  4663. 999
  4664. 00:48:15,018 --> 00:48:17,479
  4665. I know. Try not to get lost.
  4666. Come on in.
  4667.  
  4668. 1000
  4669. 00:48:17,938 --> 00:48:19,439
  4670. (PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)
  4671.  
  4672. 1001
  4673. 00:48:28,907 --> 00:48:30,992
  4674. Wow! Here
  4675. are the ladies.
  4676.  
  4677. 1002
  4678. 00:48:31,159 --> 00:48:33,995
  4679. Look at you guys.
  4680. You guys look amazing.
  4681.  
  4682. 1003
  4683. 00:48:34,162 --> 00:48:36,206
  4684. A little heavy on the eye
  4685. makeup, but pretty good.
  4686.  
  4687. 1004
  4688. 00:48:36,373 --> 00:48:37,457
  4689. Thank you, Rex.
  4690. Thank you.
  4691.  
  4692. 1005
  4693. 00:48:37,541 --> 00:48:38,583
  4694. You guys know
  4695. Lori and Jim, right?
  4696.  
  4697. 1006
  4698. 00:48:38,667 --> 00:48:39,709
  4699. John.
  4700.  
  4701. 1007
  4702. 00:48:39,793 --> 00:48:41,086
  4703. You guys remember John.
  4704. WOMEN: Hi.
  4705.  
  4706. 1008
  4707. 00:48:41,336 --> 00:48:45,382
  4708. Listen, why don't John and I
  4709. go get a drink at the bar?
  4710.  
  4711. 1009
  4712. 00:48:46,007 --> 00:48:47,050
  4713. Sure.
  4714.  
  4715. 1010
  4716. 00:48:47,134 --> 00:48:49,594
  4717. Great, we'll be right back.
  4718. Come on, buddy.
  4719.  
  4720. 1011
  4721. 00:48:51,012 --> 00:48:52,848
  4722. It's an old sweater, huh?
  4723.  
  4724. 1012
  4725. 00:48:53,890 --> 00:48:55,934
  4726. This is Wade Boggs'
  4727. autographed bat.
  4728.  
  4729. 1013
  4730. 00:48:56,017 --> 00:48:58,645
  4731. I just barely outbid Phil
  4732. Donahue for that at auction.
  4733.  
  4734. 1014
  4735. 00:48:58,728 --> 00:48:59,771
  4736. Wow, cool.
  4737.  
  4738. 1015
  4739. 00:48:59,855 --> 00:49:01,815
  4740. Yeah, cool.
  4741.  
  4742. 1016
  4743. 00:49:01,898 --> 00:49:05,026
  4744. These boxing gloves were worn by
  4745. Joe Louis in his first fight.
  4746.  
  4747. 1017
  4748. 00:49:06,069 --> 00:49:08,113
  4749. This is art.
  4750. Get it?
  4751.  
  4752. 1018
  4753. 00:49:10,866 --> 00:49:12,617
  4754. These were
  4755. John Lennon's glasses.
  4756.  
  4757. 1019
  4758. 00:49:12,701 --> 00:49:14,494
  4759. They're worth,
  4760. like, a million dollars.
  4761.  
  4762. 1020
  4763. 00:49:14,578 --> 00:49:16,079
  4764. That's me
  4765. and Tom Skerritt.
  4766.  
  4767. 1021
  4768. 00:49:16,371 --> 00:49:17,330
  4769. Oh.
  4770.  
  4771. 1022
  4772. 00:49:17,414 --> 00:49:18,874
  4773. Check this out.
  4774.  
  4775. 1023
  4776. 00:49:20,041 --> 00:49:22,210
  4777. It's Lance Armstrong's nut.
  4778.  
  4779. 1024
  4780. 00:49:22,294 --> 00:49:24,045
  4781. I had it
  4782. freeze-dried and bronzed.
  4783.  
  4784. 1025
  4785. 00:49:24,713 --> 00:49:26,173
  4786. Every now and then
  4787. when my life's
  4788.  
  4789. 1026
  4790. 00:49:26,256 --> 00:49:28,467
  4791. getting me down
  4792. and things are tough,
  4793.  
  4794. 1027
  4795. 00:49:28,633 --> 00:49:31,595
  4796. I just come up here
  4797. and I look at it.
  4798.  
  4799. 1028
  4800. 00:49:32,888 --> 00:49:36,433
  4801. And it reminds me that
  4802. things aren't so bad.
  4803.  
  4804. 1029
  4805. 00:49:38,310 --> 00:49:40,270
  4806. Sometimes you feel
  4807. like a nut.
  4808.  
  4809. 1030
  4810. 00:49:41,229 --> 00:49:42,856
  4811. Sometimes you don't.
  4812.  
  4813. 1031
  4814. 00:49:44,524 --> 00:49:48,153
  4815. So, talk to me, Johnny Quest. How
  4816. are things with you and Lori?
  4817.  
  4818. 1032
  4819. 00:49:48,236 --> 00:49:49,738
  4820. Things are great,
  4821. actually.
  4822.  
  4823. 1033
  4824. 00:49:49,821 --> 00:49:52,073
  4825. That's great.
  4826. That is great.
  4827.  
  4828. 1034
  4829. 00:49:53,492 --> 00:49:56,119
  4830. You know, Lori would
  4831. hate me for saying this,
  4832.  
  4833. 1035
  4834. 00:49:56,203 --> 00:49:58,413
  4835. but she told me how
  4836. you are at the office.
  4837.  
  4838. 1036
  4839. 00:49:58,580 --> 00:50:00,248
  4840. And, as one gentleman to
  4841. another, I just want to say
  4842.  
  4843. 1037
  4844. 00:50:00,332 --> 00:50:02,584
  4845. I really hope you fucking
  4846. get Lou Gehrig's disease.
  4847.  
  4848. 1038
  4849. 00:50:02,834 --> 00:50:03,960
  4850. (CHUCKLES)
  4851.  
  4852. 1039
  4853. 00:50:04,586 --> 00:50:06,004
  4854. (STAMMERS)
  4855.  
  4856. 1040
  4857. 00:50:06,087 --> 00:50:08,423
  4858. I think I need to clear
  4859. the air here a little.
  4860.  
  4861. 1041
  4862. 00:50:08,590 --> 00:50:11,760
  4863. Yeah, I'm kind of a
  4864. fun-time boss and what-not.
  4865.  
  4866. 1042
  4867. 00:50:11,927 --> 00:50:14,846
  4868. But, look, man, I do that
  4869. with everybody at the office.
  4870.  
  4871. 1043
  4872. 00:50:14,930 --> 00:50:16,097
  4873. I'm a kook.
  4874.  
  4875. 1044
  4876. 00:50:16,181 --> 00:50:18,225
  4877. I have no designs
  4878. on your girlfriend.
  4879.  
  4880. 1045
  4881. 00:50:18,308 --> 00:50:20,352
  4882. We work together,
  4883. and that's it.
  4884.  
  4885. 1046
  4886. 00:50:20,477 --> 00:50:24,272
  4887. I think you're a great guy
  4888. and she's a very lucky girl.
  4889.  
  4890. 1047
  4891. 00:50:25,941 --> 00:50:27,234
  4892. Well, that's good to hear.
  4893.  
  4894. 1048
  4895. 00:50:27,317 --> 00:50:28,527
  4896. Yeah.
  4897.  
  4898. 1049
  4899. 00:50:28,652 --> 00:50:29,945
  4900. (CELL PHONE RINGING)
  4901.  
  4902. 1050
  4903. 00:50:30,487 --> 00:50:31,530
  4904. Excuse me.
  4905.  
  4906. 1051
  4907. 00:50:32,405 --> 00:50:33,406
  4908. Hey, Ted.
  4909.  
  4910. 1052
  4911. 00:50:33,490 --> 00:50:35,700
  4912. <i>TED: Johnny, where are you? You</i>
  4913. <i>got to get over here, man.</i>
  4914.  
  4915. 1053
  4916. 00:50:35,784 --> 00:50:36,785
  4917. Why, what's going on?
  4918.  
  4919. 1054
  4920. 00:50:36,868 --> 00:50:38,203
  4921. Okay, so I'm having
  4922. a little impromptu thing
  4923.  
  4924. 1055
  4925. 00:50:38,286 --> 00:50:39,621
  4926. with some people
  4927. at my apartment.
  4928.  
  4929. 1056
  4930. 00:50:39,704 --> 00:50:41,998
  4931. And, John,
  4932. Sam Jones is here.
  4933.  
  4934. 1057
  4935. 00:50:42,415 --> 00:50:43,416
  4936. What?
  4937.  
  4938. 1058
  4939. 00:50:43,500 --> 00:50:46,503
  4940. <i>Sam Jones.</i>
  4941. <i>Flash-fucking-Gordon is here.</i>
  4942.  
  4943. 1059
  4944. 00:50:46,586 --> 00:50:47,754
  4945. Holy shit! What?
  4946.  
  4947. 1060
  4948. 00:50:47,837 --> 00:50:50,382
  4949. You remember I said my buddy's
  4950. cousin is friends with Sam Jones?
  4951.  
  4952. 1061
  4953. 00:50:50,465 --> 00:50:51,883
  4954. My buddy's in town
  4955. with his cousin,
  4956.  
  4957. 1062
  4958. 00:50:51,967 --> 00:50:53,802
  4959. and who do you think is with him?
  4960. Sam Jones.
  4961.  
  4962. 1063
  4963. 00:50:53,969 --> 00:50:56,471
  4964. <i>Sam Jones is here,</i>
  4965. <i>and, John,</i>
  4966.  
  4967. 1064
  4968. 00:50:56,555 --> 00:50:59,140
  4969. <i>(WHISPERS) his hair is</i>
  4970. <i>parted down the middle.</i>
  4971.  
  4972. 1065
  4973. 00:50:59,641 --> 00:51:00,934
  4974. Just like in the movie.
  4975.  
  4976. 1066
  4977. 00:51:01,017 --> 00:51:03,436
  4978. <i>Yes. Get over here</i>
  4979. <i>right now.</i>
  4980.  
  4981. 1067
  4982. 00:51:03,603 --> 00:51:04,854
  4983. Fuck, I can%!
  4984.  
  4985. 1068
  4986. 00:51:04,938 --> 00:51:06,815
  4987. I'm with Lori here.
  4988. I'm already on probation.
  4989.  
  4990. 1069
  4991. 00:51:09,150 --> 00:51:10,277
  4992. I can't.
  4993.  
  4994. 1070
  4995. 00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:13,738
  4996. John, Flash Gordon was the most important
  4997. influence of our formative years.
  4998.  
  4999. 1071
  5000. 00:51:13,822 --> 00:51:16,199
  5001. He taught us right from
  5002. wrong, good from evil.
  5003.  
  5004. 1072
  5005. 00:51:16,283 --> 00:51:18,076
  5006. And that the word
  5007. "acting" apparently
  5008.  
  5009. 1073
  5010. 00:51:18,159 --> 00:51:19,911
  5011. has an extremely
  5012. broad definition.
  5013.  
  5014. 1074
  5015. 00:51:20,078 --> 00:51:23,290
  5016. <i>Flash Gordon is the symbol</i>
  5017. <i>of our friendship, John.</i>
  5018.  
  5019. 1075
  5020. 00:51:23,373 --> 00:51:25,500
  5021. <i>Come share this with me.</i>
  5022.  
  5023. 1076
  5024. 00:51:26,459 --> 00:51:27,752
  5025. I'm coming.
  5026.  
  5027. 1077
  5028. 00:51:28,295 --> 00:51:30,171
  5029. Rex, I got to go.
  5030.  
  5031. 1078
  5032. 00:51:30,964 --> 00:51:33,216
  5033. I'll be back in 30 minutes
  5034. tops, okay?
  5035.  
  5036. 1079
  5037. 00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:35,844
  5038. But Lori cannot find out. She
  5039. absolutely cannot know I was gone.
  5040.  
  5041. 1080
  5042. 00:51:36,344 --> 00:51:39,055
  5043. If you can cover for me, I'm
  5044. cool with all that other shit.
  5045.  
  5046. 1081
  5047. 00:51:39,681 --> 00:51:42,058
  5048. I got your back on this. She won't know.
  5049. I've been there.
  5050.  
  5051. 1082
  5052. 00:51:42,225 --> 00:51:43,768
  5053. All right, this is
  5054. one man to another.
  5055.  
  5056. 1083
  5057. 00:51:43,852 --> 00:51:45,937
  5058. I don't really know you, but
  5059. I'm trusting you, as a man.
  5060.  
  5061. 1084
  5062. 00:51:46,021 --> 00:51:47,063
  5063. This is serious.
  5064.  
  5065. 1085
  5066. 00:51:47,355 --> 00:51:51,109
  5067. Dude, one man to another.
  5068. I got you on this.
  5069.  
  5070. 1086
  5071. 00:51:51,276 --> 00:51:53,361
  5072. Thank you.
  5073. I'll be back.
  5074.  
  5075. 1087
  5076. 00:51:54,863 --> 00:51:56,906
  5077. I'm going to have sex
  5078. with your girlfriend.
  5079.  
  5080. 1088
  5081. 00:52:06,875 --> 00:52:08,126
  5082. (TIRES SCREECHING)
  5083.  
  5084. 1089
  5085. 00:52:38,573 --> 00:52:40,367
  5086. Johnny, thank Christ
  5087. you made it.
  5088.  
  5089. 1090
  5090. 00:52:40,533 --> 00:52:42,160
  5091. Dude, I got 10 minutes.
  5092. Where's Flash Gordon?
  5093.  
  5094. 1091
  5095. 00:52:42,243 --> 00:52:43,244
  5096. Okay, get ready.
  5097.  
  5098. 1092
  5099. 00:52:43,328 --> 00:52:45,747
  5100. Hey, Sam, this is the guy
  5101. I was telling you about.
  5102.  
  5103. 1093
  5104. 00:52:46,706 --> 00:52:48,083
  5105. (THEME SONG PLAYING)
  5106.  
  5107. 1094
  5108. 00:52:53,254 --> 00:52:54,255
  5109. <i>(SINGING) Flash!</i>
  5110.  
  5111. 1095
  5112. 00:52:54,881 --> 00:52:56,257
  5113. <i>A-ah!</i>
  5114.  
  5115. 1096
  5116. 00:52:56,966 --> 00:52:58,593
  5117. <i>Savior of the universe!</i>
  5118.  
  5119. 1097
  5120. 00:53:06,601 --> 00:53:07,602
  5121. <i>Flash!</i>
  5122.  
  5123. 1098
  5124. 00:53:08,103 --> 00:53:09,270
  5125. <i>A-ah!</i>
  5126.  
  5127. 1099
  5128. 00:53:09,938 --> 00:53:11,439
  5129. <i>He'll save every one of us!</i>
  5130.  
  5131. 1100
  5132. 00:53:14,943 --> 00:53:18,988
  5133. <i>Just a man</i>
  5134. <i>with a man's courage</i>
  5135.  
  5136. 1101
  5137. 00:53:20,281 --> 00:53:23,201
  5138. <i>He knows nothing but a man</i>
  5139.  
  5140. 1102
  5141. 00:53:23,993 --> 00:53:26,329
  5142. <i>But he can never fail</i>
  5143.  
  5144. 1103
  5145. 00:53:28,123 --> 00:53:33,461
  5146. <i>No one but the pure in heart</i>
  5147. <i>Can find the golden grail</i>
  5148.  
  5149. 1104
  5150. 00:53:47,016 --> 00:53:48,643
  5151. How you doing?
  5152. Good to meet you.
  5153.  
  5154. 1105
  5155. 00:53:50,019 --> 00:53:52,188
  5156. I thank you for
  5157. saving every one of us.
  5158.  
  5159. 1106
  5160. 00:53:52,272 --> 00:53:53,314
  5161. Well, you're welcome.
  5162.  
  5163. 1107
  5164. 00:53:53,690 --> 00:53:55,024
  5165. (SQUEALS EXCITEDLY)
  5166. He acknowledged it.
  5167.  
  5168. 1108
  5169. 00:53:55,191 --> 00:53:56,234
  5170. Let's do some shots.
  5171.  
  5172. 1109
  5173. 00:53:56,317 --> 00:53:57,360
  5174. With you?
  5175.  
  5176. 1110
  5177. 00:53:57,527 --> 00:53:59,529
  5178. Ch, my God, yes!
  5179. Ch, my God, yes!
  5180.  
  5181. 1111
  5182. 00:53:59,612 --> 00:54:00,655
  5183. Let's go!
  5184.  
  5185. 1112
  5186. 00:54:04,576 --> 00:54:05,618
  5187. Thanks, Flash.
  5188.  
  5189. 1113
  5190. 00:54:05,702 --> 00:54:07,328
  5191. There you go, my friend.
  5192. Thank you.
  5193.  
  5194. 1114
  5195. 00:54:07,537 --> 00:54:09,372
  5196. Death to Ming!
  5197.  
  5198. 1115
  5199. 00:54:09,873 --> 00:54:11,040
  5200. Yes!
  5201.  
  5202. 1116
  5203. 00:54:13,835 --> 00:54:15,378
  5204. You know,
  5205. you guys seem pretty cool.
  5206.  
  5207. 1117
  5208. 00:54:15,545 --> 00:54:17,046
  5209. You like to party?
  5210.  
  5211. 1118
  5212. 00:54:18,631 --> 00:54:19,674
  5213. Uh...
  5214.  
  5215. 1119
  5216. 00:54:19,799 --> 00:54:20,800
  5217. Cocaine, right?
  5218.  
  5219. 1120
  5220. 00:54:20,884 --> 00:54:23,678
  5221. Come on, dudes. Don't tell
  5222. me you never done it before.
  5223.  
  5224. 1121
  5225. 00:54:24,220 --> 00:54:26,389
  5226. Not recently, no.
  5227.  
  5228. 1122
  5229. 00:54:26,556 --> 00:54:28,308
  5230. I thought that was just
  5231. for people in Florida.
  5232.  
  5233. 1123
  5234. 00:54:28,475 --> 00:54:29,684
  5235. You better follow me.
  5236.  
  5237. 1124
  5238. 00:54:29,851 --> 00:54:30,977
  5239. Come on.
  5240.  
  5241. 1125
  5242. 00:54:31,060 --> 00:54:32,687
  5243. Johnny, I'm frightened.
  5244.  
  5245. 1126
  5246. 00:54:33,062 --> 00:54:34,314
  5247. (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
  5248.  
  5249. 1127
  5250. 00:54:41,571 --> 00:54:44,199
  5251. We are going to
  5252. party like the '80s.
  5253.  
  5254. 1128
  5255. 00:54:44,282 --> 00:54:45,450
  5256. Show us how, Flash.
  5257.  
  5258. 1129
  5259. 00:54:45,533 --> 00:54:46,785
  5260. It's easy.
  5261.  
  5262. 1130
  5263. 00:54:46,868 --> 00:54:49,245
  5264. We just gotta nail a lot
  5265. of girls named Stephanie.
  5266.  
  5267. 1131
  5268. 00:54:49,329 --> 00:54:51,331
  5269. God, Johnny,
  5270. I got so much energy.
  5271.  
  5272. 1132
  5273. 00:54:51,414 --> 00:54:53,208
  5274. We better start
  5275. doing stupid shit.
  5276.  
  5277. 1133
  5278. 00:54:53,625 --> 00:54:54,834
  5279. (SINGING)
  5280.  
  5281. 1134
  5282. 00:55:01,758 --> 00:55:03,051
  5283. Look, Johnny,
  5284. if we're ever going to
  5285.  
  5286. 1135
  5287. 00:55:03,134 --> 00:55:04,344
  5288. get serious about
  5289. opening a restaurant
  5290.  
  5291. 1136
  5292. 00:55:04,427 --> 00:55:05,428
  5293. we got to start
  5294. planning it now.
  5295.  
  5296. 1137
  5297. 00:55:05,512 --> 00:55:06,721
  5298. Italian.
  5299. Italian, yes.
  5300.  
  5301. 1138
  5302. 00:55:06,763 --> 00:55:08,473
  5303. What's the special on Tuesdays?
  5304. Eggplant parm.
  5305.  
  5306. 1139
  5307. 00:55:08,556 --> 00:55:09,599
  5308. Chopped salad, half price.
  5309.  
  5310. 1140
  5311. 00:55:09,682 --> 00:55:10,850
  5312. And it's
  5313. a non-restricted place.
  5314.  
  5315. 1141
  5316. 00:55:10,934 --> 00:55:12,811
  5317. Yeah. What do you mean?
  5318. Anybody can come.
  5319.  
  5320. 1142
  5321. 00:55:12,894 --> 00:55:14,312
  5322. Of course.
  5323. Jews are welcome.
  5324.  
  5325. 1143
  5326. 00:55:14,395 --> 00:55:15,480
  5327. Well, yeah.
  5328. Why wouldn't they be?
  5329.  
  5330. 1144
  5331. 00:55:15,563 --> 00:55:16,648
  5332. Exactly,
  5333. that's what I'm saying.
  5334.  
  5335. 1145
  5336. 00:55:16,731 --> 00:55:17,816
  5337. Why even bring that up?
  5338.  
  5339. 1146
  5340. 00:55:17,899 --> 00:55:19,108
  5341. You don't bring it up,
  5342. you just let them in.
  5343.  
  5344. 1147
  5345. 00:55:19,192 --> 00:55:20,652
  5346. Why mention it?
  5347. No one will.
  5348.  
  5349. 1148
  5350. 00:55:20,735 --> 00:55:21,778
  5351. Why are we
  5352. talking about it?
  5353.  
  5354. 1149
  5355. 00:55:21,861 --> 00:55:23,321
  5356. You're talking about it. I'm
  5357. just saying, let them in.
  5358.  
  5359. 1150
  5360. 00:55:23,404 --> 00:55:25,240
  5361. Let them in. Right. Okay.
  5362. Exactly. Good.
  5363.  
  5364. 1151
  5365. 00:55:25,323 --> 00:55:26,324
  5366. No Mexicans, though.
  5367.  
  5368. 1152
  5369. 00:55:26,574 --> 00:55:27,742
  5370. (SINGING)
  5371.  
  5372. 1153
  5373. 00:55:29,410 --> 00:55:31,287
  5374. This is how everybody
  5375. sang in the '90s.
  5376.  
  5377. 1154
  5378. 00:55:31,412 --> 00:55:32,705
  5379. (SINGING)
  5380.  
  5381. 1155
  5382. 00:55:43,091 --> 00:55:45,134
  5383. Trust me, I can do this.
  5384. Shut up.
  5385.  
  5386. 1156
  5387. 00:55:45,301 --> 00:55:46,469
  5388. Let him try it, man.
  5389.  
  5390. 1157
  5391. 00:55:46,594 --> 00:55:47,804
  5392. All right, fuck it.
  5393.  
  5394. 1158
  5395. 00:55:49,931 --> 00:55:51,057
  5396. (GUESTS CHEERING)
  5397.  
  5398. 1159
  5399. 00:55:51,307 --> 00:55:53,268
  5400. ALL: Go, go, go!
  5401.  
  5402. 1160
  5403. 00:55:57,939 --> 00:55:59,107
  5404. (SCREAMING)
  5405.  
  5406. 1161
  5407. 00:56:01,776 --> 00:56:03,111
  5408. You son of a bitch!
  5409.  
  5410. 1162
  5411. 00:56:03,194 --> 00:56:05,363
  5412. Well, you never should have trusted me.
  5413. I'm on drugs.
  5414.  
  5415. 1163
  5416. 00:56:05,780 --> 00:56:07,115
  5417. (SINGING)
  5418.  
  5419. 1164
  5420. 00:56:14,289 --> 00:56:16,124
  5421. Hey, Johnny,
  5422. I just had a great idea.
  5423.  
  5424. 1165
  5425. 00:56:16,207 --> 00:56:18,626
  5426. Let's go get drunk and puke
  5427. on cars from the overpass.
  5428.  
  5429. 1166
  5430. 00:56:18,710 --> 00:56:21,796
  5431. Come on, I do not sound
  5432. that much like Peter Griffin.
  5433.  
  5434. 1167
  5435. 00:56:22,046 --> 00:56:23,256
  5436. (SINGING)
  5437.  
  5438. 1168
  5439. 00:56:24,757 --> 00:56:26,885
  5440. You can do any '90s
  5441. song with just vowels.
  5442.  
  5443. 1169
  5444. 00:56:26,968 --> 00:56:28,595
  5445. (SINGING)
  5446.  
  5447. 1170
  5448. 00:56:33,933 --> 00:56:37,103
  5449. A-E-I-O-U
  5450.  
  5451. 1171
  5452. 00:56:39,314 --> 00:56:42,483
  5453. See? There, proof. Garfield's
  5454. eyes look like a pair of tits.
  5455.  
  5456. 1172
  5457. 00:56:42,567 --> 00:56:43,568
  5458. You were right.
  5459.  
  5460. 1173
  5461. 00:56:43,651 --> 00:56:46,237
  5462. If you can punch through this wall,
  5463. you really are Flash Gordon.
  5464.  
  5465. 1174
  5466. 00:56:46,404 --> 00:56:47,447
  5467. Are you going to do it?
  5468.  
  5469. 1175
  5470. 00:56:47,530 --> 00:56:48,531
  5471. I'm going to
  5472. punch through it.
  5473.  
  5474. 1176
  5475. 00:56:48,698 --> 00:56:49,991
  5476. Come on, Sam, do it!
  5477. Do it!
  5478.  
  5479. 1177
  5480. 00:56:50,992 --> 00:56:52,994
  5481. (PLASTER SMASHING)
  5482. Oh, my God!
  5483.  
  5484. 1178
  5485. 00:56:54,412 --> 00:56:55,747
  5486. Yes! He did it!
  5487.  
  5488. 1179
  5489. 00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:57,081
  5490. (SHOUTING IN CANTONESE)
  5491.  
  5492. 1180
  5493. 00:56:57,165 --> 00:56:58,207
  5494. What the hell you problem?
  5495.  
  5496. 1181
  5497. 00:56:58,374 --> 00:57:01,002
  5498. You break my wall!
  5499. I break you wall!
  5500.  
  5501. 1182
  5502. 00:57:01,085 --> 00:57:02,420
  5503. (WOMEN EXCLAIMING)
  5504.  
  5505. 1183
  5506. 00:57:02,503 --> 00:57:03,838
  5507. (SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
  5508.  
  5509. 1184
  5510. 00:57:05,465 --> 00:57:06,466
  5511. Break his arm off!
  5512.  
  5513. 1185
  5514. 00:57:06,549 --> 00:57:08,343
  5515. We're going to die.
  5516. We're all going to die.
  5517.  
  5518. 1186
  5519. 00:57:08,468 --> 00:57:09,928
  5520. Break this up,
  5521. break this up.
  5522.  
  5523. 1187
  5524. 00:57:10,011 --> 00:57:11,012
  5525. Get him!
  5526.  
  5527. 1188
  5528. 00:57:11,179 --> 00:57:12,138
  5529. (YELLING)
  5530.  
  5531. 1189
  5532. 00:57:12,221 --> 00:57:15,099
  5533. MING: You break my wall!
  5534. This my home long time.
  5535.  
  5536. 1190
  5537. 00:57:15,183 --> 00:57:16,976
  5538. You break my wall,
  5539. you bastard men.
  5540.  
  5541. 1191
  5542. 00:57:17,060 --> 00:57:18,436
  5543. We're sorry,
  5544. it was an accident, okay?
  5545.  
  5546. 1192
  5547. 00:57:18,519 --> 00:57:21,147
  5548. I try to make duck dinner,
  5549. now plaster everywhere.
  5550.  
  5551. 1193
  5552. 00:57:21,230 --> 00:57:23,983
  5553. Chill out. Can we just talk about this?
  5554. What's your name? I'm John.
  5555.  
  5556. 1194
  5557. 00:57:24,150 --> 00:57:25,610
  5558. My name is Wan Ming.
  5559.  
  5560. 1195
  5561. 00:57:25,902 --> 00:57:26,945
  5562. Ming?
  5563.  
  5564. 1196
  5565. 00:57:27,111 --> 00:57:28,863
  5566. You pay many dollar
  5567. for wall!
  5568.  
  5569. 1197
  5570. 00:57:28,947 --> 00:57:31,658
  5571. This bullshit!
  5572. This all bullshit!
  5573.  
  5574. 1198
  5575. 00:57:31,824 --> 00:57:33,826
  5576. Death to Ming!
  5577.  
  5578. 1199
  5579. 00:57:39,874 --> 00:57:40,875
  5580. (ALL CHEERING)
  5581.  
  5582. 1200
  5583. 00:57:41,084 --> 00:57:42,418
  5584. (SQUAWKING)
  5585.  
  5586. 1201
  5587. 00:57:51,302 --> 00:57:52,387
  5588. (SNARLS)
  5589.  
  5590. 1202
  5591. 00:57:55,515 --> 00:57:56,516
  5592. (SCREAMS)
  5593.  
  5594. 1203
  5595. 00:57:57,433 --> 00:57:58,559
  5596. Rape!
  5597.  
  5598. 1204
  5599. 00:57:58,726 --> 00:57:59,894
  5600. (YELLING)
  5601.  
  5602. 1205
  5603. 00:58:01,270 --> 00:58:02,313
  5604. Sam, let him go.
  5605.  
  5606. 1206
  5607. 00:58:07,819 --> 00:58:09,946
  5608. You crazy!
  5609. You crazy, man!
  5610.  
  5611. 1207
  5612. 00:58:10,363 --> 00:58:11,823
  5613. Come on, James Franco.
  5614.  
  5615. 1208
  5616. 00:58:14,951 --> 00:58:17,078
  5617. You pay for wall!
  5618.  
  5619. 1209
  5620. 00:58:17,412 --> 00:58:18,913
  5621. Move, sucker!
  5622.  
  5623. 1210
  5624. 00:58:36,639 --> 00:58:38,683
  5625. Greatest night ever!
  5626.  
  5627. 1211
  5628. 00:58:45,940 --> 00:58:47,150
  5629. (SIGHS)
  5630.  
  5631. 1212
  5632. 00:58:49,527 --> 00:58:50,737
  5633. Hey.
  5634.  
  5635. 1213
  5636. 00:58:51,029 --> 00:58:52,071
  5637. Hey, GUY-
  5638.  
  5639. 1214
  5640. 00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:53,698
  5641. What's going on?
  5642.  
  5643. 1215
  5644. 00:58:54,615 --> 00:58:57,035
  5645. This is Jared. He's the
  5646. guy who beat me up.
  5647.  
  5648. 1216
  5649. 00:58:57,452 --> 00:58:58,953
  5650. And we're in love.
  5651.  
  5652. 1217
  5653. 00:58:59,954 --> 00:59:00,913
  5654. Huh?
  5655.  
  5656. 1218
  5657. 00:59:00,997 --> 00:59:03,833
  5658. Turns out I'm gay,
  5659. or whatever.
  5660.  
  5661. 1219
  5662. 00:59:04,625 --> 00:59:05,668
  5663. I had no idea.
  5664.  
  5665. 1220
  5666. 00:59:06,878 --> 00:59:10,048
  5667. Hey, Jared, let's go grab
  5668. another one of these.
  5669.  
  5670. 1221
  5671. 00:59:13,593 --> 00:59:14,719
  5672. SAM: How we doing, ace?
  5673.  
  5674. 1222
  5675. 00:59:15,219 --> 00:59:16,512
  5676. You coming down?
  5677.  
  5678. 1223
  5679. 00:59:16,679 --> 00:59:18,514
  5680. Yeah, I don't feel so good.
  5681.  
  5682. 1224
  5683. 00:59:18,681 --> 00:59:21,642
  5684. Give it a couple of hours.
  5685. You'll be golden, Ponyboy.
  5686.  
  5687. 1225
  5688. 00:59:22,143 --> 00:59:23,436
  5689. You want a Xanax?
  5690.  
  5691. 1226
  5692. 00:59:25,021 --> 00:59:26,230
  5693. Holy shit. Oh, my God.
  5694.  
  5695. 1227
  5696. 00:59:26,314 --> 00:59:27,315
  5697. What?
  5698.  
  5699. 1228
  5700. 00:59:28,483 --> 00:59:30,151
  5701. I got to go.
  5702.  
  5703. 1229
  5704. 00:59:38,201 --> 00:59:39,243
  5705. Lori, I...
  5706.  
  5707. 1230
  5708. 00:59:40,661 --> 00:59:41,829
  5709. Lori!
  5710.  
  5711. 1231
  5712. 00:59:43,706 --> 00:59:46,000
  5713. Lori, wait, please.
  5714.  
  5715. 1232
  5716. 00:59:46,876 --> 00:59:48,753
  5717. Look, I'm sorry,
  5718. I messed up...
  5719.  
  5720. 1233
  5721. 00:59:48,836 --> 00:59:50,713
  5722. John, I need you out of
  5723. the apartment tonight.
  5724.  
  5725. 1234
  5726. 00:59:51,172 --> 00:59:52,590
  5727. Can I... Just give
  5728. me the car keys.
  5729.  
  5730. 1235
  5731. 00:59:52,673 --> 00:59:54,550
  5732. Can I please just explain? No.
  5733.  
  5734. 1236
  5735. 00:59:54,759 --> 00:59:55,760
  5736. Look, I was...
  5737.  
  5738. 1237
  5739. 00:59:55,843 --> 00:59:58,262
  5740. I have given up a huge
  5741. chunk of my life for you.
  5742.  
  5743. 1238
  5744. 00:59:58,429 --> 01:00:01,057
  5745. I was going to stop in for like five
  5746. minutes and then Flash Gordon...
  5747.  
  5748. 1239
  5749. 01:00:01,224 --> 01:00:03,184
  5750. Just give me
  5751. the car keys.
  5752.  
  5753. 1240
  5754. 01:00:13,528 --> 01:00:14,821
  5755. Lori.
  5756.  
  5757. 1241
  5758. 01:00:15,196 --> 01:00:16,739
  5759. Lori, please, I love you.
  5760.  
  5761. 1242
  5762. 01:00:30,545 --> 01:00:33,256
  5763. Johnny, there you are.
  5764. I had to get some air.
  5765.  
  5766. 1243
  5767. 01:00:33,339 --> 01:00:35,424
  5768. That guy from your office
  5769. is in there on the couch
  5770.  
  5771. 1244
  5772. 01:00:35,508 --> 01:00:37,635
  5773. making outwith that
  5774. Van Wilder-looking guy.
  5775.  
  5776. 1245
  5777. 01:00:37,885 --> 01:00:39,887
  5778. You know what? Fuck you. I don't
  5779. even want to talk to you.
  5780.  
  5781. 1246
  5782. 01:00:40,763 --> 01:00:41,806
  5783. What?
  5784.  
  5785. 1247
  5786. 01:00:41,889 --> 01:00:44,142
  5787. Do you know
  5788. what just happened?
  5789.  
  5790. 1248
  5791. 01:00:44,225 --> 01:00:46,602
  5792. Do you have any clue?
  5793. My fucking life just ended!
  5794.  
  5795. 1249
  5796. 01:00:47,311 --> 01:00:48,813
  5797. Come on.
  5798. She'll go home,
  5799.  
  5800. 1250
  5801. 01:00:48,896 --> 01:00:50,898
  5802. <i>she'll watch Bridget</i>
  5803. <i>Jones- something-asshole.</i>
  5804.  
  5805. 1251
  5806. 01:00:50,982 --> 01:00:53,192
  5807. She'll have a good cry, she'll be fine.
  5808. You'll talk to her tomorrow.
  5809.  
  5810. 1252
  5811. 01:00:53,317 --> 01:00:55,027
  5812. Come on upstairs. Are you
  5813. even listening to me?
  5814.  
  5815. 1253
  5816. 01:00:55,111 --> 01:00:57,238
  5817. Do you give any
  5818. shred of a shit?
  5819.  
  5820. 1254
  5821. 01:00:58,406 --> 01:01:00,158
  5822. Of course I do, Johnny.
  5823.  
  5824. 1255
  5825. 01:01:00,241 --> 01:01:02,118
  5826. "Thunder buddies
  5827. for life," remember?
  5828.  
  5829. 1256
  5830. 01:01:02,201 --> 01:01:04,787
  5831. Jesus! Lori was right.
  5832.  
  5833. 1257
  5834. 01:01:04,871 --> 01:01:07,248
  5835. I should have stopped hanging
  5836. out with you a long time ago.
  5837.  
  5838. 1258
  5839. 01:01:07,415 --> 01:01:09,333
  5840. I'm never going to have
  5841. a life with you around.
  5842.  
  5843. 1259
  5844. 01:01:09,500 --> 01:01:11,961
  5845. I'm 35 years old
  5846. and I'm going nowhere.
  5847.  
  5848. 1260
  5849. 01:01:12,044 --> 01:01:15,506
  5850. All I do is smoke pot and watch
  5851. movies with a teddy-fucking-bear.
  5852.  
  5853. 1261
  5854. 01:01:15,590 --> 01:01:18,092
  5855. Because of that, I just
  5856. lost the love of my life.
  5857.  
  5858. 1262
  5859. 01:01:18,843 --> 01:01:20,219
  5860. Johnny, I'm...
  5861.  
  5862. 1263
  5863. 01:01:20,386 --> 01:01:21,512
  5864. I'm sorry.
  5865.  
  5866. 1264
  5867. 01:01:21,679 --> 01:01:24,015
  5868. I gotta be on my own, Ted.
  5869. I can't see you anymore.
  5870.  
  5871. 1265
  5872. 01:01:26,726 --> 01:01:28,853
  5873. John, wait. Listen.
  5874.  
  5875. 1266
  5876. 01:01:29,228 --> 01:01:31,355
  5877. RECORDED TOY VOICE:
  5878. <i>I love you!</i>
  5879.  
  5880. 1267
  5881. 01:02:30,539 --> 01:02:34,043
  5882. So, word through the
  5883. grapevine is that you're
  5884.  
  5885. 1268
  5886. 01:02:34,168 --> 01:02:35,253
  5887. newly solo.
  5888.  
  5889. 1269
  5890. 01:02:35,461 --> 01:02:37,380
  5891. Rex, I have a lot of
  5892. work I need to get to.
  5893.  
  5894. 1270
  5895. 01:02:37,713 --> 01:02:40,800
  5896. I have tickets to Norah Jones
  5897. at the Hatch Shell tonight
  5898.  
  5899. 1271
  5900. 01:02:40,883 --> 01:02:43,511
  5901. and I would love it
  5902. if you would go with me.
  5903.  
  5904. 1272
  5905. 01:02:43,803 --> 01:02:46,806
  5906. You're asking me out a week
  5907. after I broke up with somebody?
  5908.  
  5909. 1273
  5910. 01:02:47,265 --> 01:02:49,433
  5911. Look, I'm going to
  5912. cut the shit, here.
  5913.  
  5914. 1274
  5915. 01:02:49,517 --> 01:02:50,518
  5916. Please.
  5917.  
  5918. 1275
  5919. 01:02:50,810 --> 01:02:54,146
  5920. This is the first time
  5921. that you've been single
  5922.  
  5923. 1276
  5924. 01:02:54,230 --> 01:02:55,731
  5925. in all the years
  5926. you've worked here.
  5927.  
  5928. 1277
  5929. 01:02:56,399 --> 01:02:58,985
  5930. Just go out with me
  5931. one time.
  5932.  
  5933. 1278
  5934. 01:02:59,068 --> 01:03:00,778
  5935. And if you're miserable
  5936. and you hate it
  5937.  
  5938. 1279
  5939. 01:03:00,861 --> 01:03:05,199
  5940. then I promise I will never
  5941. even hint at the subject again.
  5942.  
  5943. 1280
  5944. 01:03:06,742 --> 01:03:07,743
  5945. Please.
  5946.  
  5947. 1281
  5948. 01:03:07,994 --> 01:03:09,453
  5949. Rex, I don't think
  5950. it's smart.
  5951.  
  5952. 1282
  5953. 01:03:09,578 --> 01:03:11,706
  5954. I'm an asshole,
  5955. I know that.
  5956.  
  5957. 1283
  5958. 01:03:11,789 --> 01:03:13,124
  5959. It worked for me
  5960. in high school,
  5961.  
  5962. 1284
  5963. 01:03:13,207 --> 01:03:14,709
  5964. and it's been
  5965. a reflex ever since.
  5966.  
  5967. 1285
  5968. 01:03:15,167 --> 01:03:17,336
  5969. Lori,
  5970. the worst that can happen
  5971.  
  5972. 1286
  5973. 01:03:17,712 --> 01:03:20,172
  5974. is that you go on
  5975. a fun, casual date
  5976.  
  5977. 1287
  5978. 01:03:20,256 --> 01:03:22,300
  5979. with a guy who
  5980. just wants a chance
  5981.  
  5982. 1288
  5983. 01:03:22,383 --> 01:03:25,886
  5984. to prove that he can be
  5985. something more than a jerk.
  5986.  
  5987. 1289
  5988. 01:03:25,970 --> 01:03:28,306
  5989. Plus, you are a huge catch.
  5990.  
  5991. 1290
  5992. 01:03:28,389 --> 01:03:30,433
  5993. And it's about time someone
  5994. treated you that way.
  5995.  
  5996. 1291
  5997. 01:03:32,685 --> 01:03:34,687
  5998. (SIGHS) Fuck it. Fine.
  5999.  
  6000. 1292
  6001. 01:03:34,854 --> 01:03:37,064
  6002. Fine. It sure as hell beats crying
  6003. myself to sleep every night.
  6004.  
  6005. 1293
  6006. 01:03:37,148 --> 01:03:39,358
  6007. And if that means
  6008. getting you off my back,
  6009.  
  6010. 1294
  6011. 01:03:39,442 --> 01:03:40,776
  6012. well, that's just a bonus.
  6013.  
  6014. 1295
  6015. 01:03:40,860 --> 01:03:42,320
  6016. I'll pick you up at 8:00.
  6017.  
  6018. 1296
  6019. 01:03:47,908 --> 01:03:49,118
  6020. (KNOCK ON DOOR)
  6021.  
  6022. 1297
  6023. 01:03:49,910 --> 01:03:52,455
  6024. Johnny. It's me.
  6025.  
  6026. 1298
  6027. 01:03:52,872 --> 01:03:53,914
  6028. Go away.
  6029.  
  6030. 1299
  6031. 01:03:54,248 --> 01:03:56,959
  6032. Johnny, open the door,
  6033. please, I want to talk.
  6034.  
  6035. 1300
  6036. 01:04:02,423 --> 01:04:03,674
  6037. (GRUNTING)
  6038.  
  6039. 1301
  6040. 01:04:06,677 --> 01:04:08,721
  6041. Jesus Christ!
  6042. What the fuck, man?
  6043.  
  6044. 1302
  6045. 01:04:08,888 --> 01:04:11,098
  6046. Sorry. Look, Johnny, I know
  6047. you're pissed, all right?
  6048.  
  6049. 1303
  6050. 01:04:11,265 --> 01:04:13,267
  6051. But just listen to me
  6052. for five seconds.
  6053.  
  6054. 1304
  6055. 01:04:13,476 --> 01:04:15,644
  6056. I saw Lori leaving
  6057. the apartment with Rex.
  6058.  
  6059. 1305
  6060. 01:04:15,728 --> 01:04:16,729
  6061. What?
  6062.  
  6063. 1306
  6064. 01:04:16,812 --> 01:04:18,147
  6065. I'm serious, John.
  6066. I went over to talk to her
  6067.  
  6068. 1307
  6069. 01:04:18,230 --> 01:04:19,857
  6070. and maybe take some
  6071. of the heat off you.
  6072.  
  6073. 1308
  6074. 01:04:19,940 --> 01:04:21,317
  6075. And there he was,
  6076. picking her up.
  6077.  
  6078. 1309
  6079. 01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:22,735
  6080. They were going
  6081. to the Hatch Shell.
  6082.  
  6083. 1310
  6084. 01:04:22,902 --> 01:04:24,820
  6085. You're fucking unbelievable,
  6086. you know that?
  6087.  
  6088. 1311
  6089. 01:04:24,904 --> 01:04:26,489
  6090. How stupid
  6091. do you think I am?
  6092.  
  6093. 1312
  6094. 01:04:26,572 --> 01:04:28,074
  6095. If you think that by
  6096. making shit like that up
  6097.  
  6098. 1313
  6099. 01:04:28,157 --> 01:04:30,117
  6100. you're going to make me choose
  6101. some kind of loyalty to you
  6102.  
  6103. 1314
  6104. 01:04:30,201 --> 01:04:31,369
  6105. over her you're out
  6106. of your fucking mind.
  6107.  
  6108. 1315
  6109. 01:04:31,452 --> 01:04:33,621
  6110. Johnny, it's the truth,
  6111. I'm telling you.
  6112.  
  6113. 1316
  6114. 01:04:33,704 --> 01:04:35,623
  6115. You know what?
  6116. Get out of here.
  6117.  
  6118. 1317
  6119. 01:04:36,582 --> 01:04:39,001
  6120. You know what? You're acting like a cock.
  6121. You know that?
  6122.  
  6123. 1318
  6124. 01:04:39,168 --> 01:04:40,586
  6125. What? I'm acting
  6126. like a cock?
  6127.  
  6128. 1319
  6129. 01:04:40,669 --> 01:04:41,670
  6130. Yes, you are.
  6131.  
  6132. 1320
  6133. 01:04:41,754 --> 01:04:43,756
  6134. So shut your meat hole for
  6135. a second and listen to me.
  6136.  
  6137. 1321
  6138. 01:04:43,964 --> 01:04:45,466
  6139. Huh?
  6140. Meat hole? What?
  6141.  
  6142. 1322
  6143. 01:04:45,549 --> 01:04:47,093
  6144. That's not right,
  6145. is it? No.
  6146.  
  6147. 1323
  6148. 01:04:47,259 --> 01:04:49,011
  6149. "Pudding hole"?
  6150. Is that what they say?
  6151.  
  6152. 1324
  6153. 01:04:49,095 --> 01:04:50,179
  6154. No, it can't be
  6155. that either.
  6156.  
  6157. 1325
  6158. 01:04:50,429 --> 01:04:53,682
  6159. Because, "How can you have any
  6160. pudding if you don't eat your meat?"
  6161.  
  6162. 1326
  6163. 01:04:53,849 --> 01:04:56,018
  6164. (CHUCKLES)
  6165. Right? Pink Floyd.
  6166.  
  6167. 1327
  6168. 01:04:56,185 --> 01:04:58,020
  6169. Look, the point is,
  6170. you're blaming me
  6171.  
  6172. 1328
  6173. 01:04:58,104 --> 01:04:59,855
  6174. for something that
  6175. you did to yourself.
  6176.  
  6177. 1329
  6178. 01:05:00,523 --> 01:05:01,732
  6179. Lori was right about you.
  6180.  
  6181. 1330
  6182. 01:05:01,899 --> 01:05:05,528
  6183. You cannot take responsibility for
  6184. anything that goes on in your life.
  6185.  
  6186. 1331
  6187. 01:05:05,694 --> 01:05:06,737
  6188. Oh, and you can?
  6189.  
  6190. 1332
  6191. 01:05:06,821 --> 01:05:09,073
  6192. I don't have to.
  6193. I'm a fucking teddy bear.
  6194.  
  6195. 1333
  6196. 01:05:09,532 --> 01:05:12,701
  6197. You know something? I didn't tie
  6198. you up and drag you to that party.
  6199.  
  6200. 1334
  6201. 01:05:12,785 --> 01:05:15,746
  6202. I wanted you to come because
  6203. you're supposedly my best friend.
  6204.  
  6205. 1335
  6206. 01:05:15,830 --> 01:05:16,997
  6207. You can't stand there
  6208. and tell me
  6209.  
  6210. 1336
  6211. 01:05:17,081 --> 01:05:19,125
  6212. that you haven't always seen Lori
  6213. as a threat to our friendship.
  6214.  
  6215. 1337
  6216. 01:05:19,208 --> 01:05:20,584
  6217. It works out
  6218. so much better for you
  6219.  
  6220. 1338
  6221. 01:05:20,668 --> 01:05:21,961
  6222. when you and I are
  6223. getting fucked up
  6224.  
  6225. 1339
  6226. 01:05:22,044 --> 01:05:23,295
  6227. on the couch at 9:00 a.m., doesn't it?
  6228.  
  6229. 1340
  6230. 01:05:23,587 --> 01:05:24,672
  6231. (SCOFFS)
  6232. Listen to yourself.
  6233.  
  6234. 1341
  6235. 01:05:24,839 --> 01:05:27,383
  6236. What am I? Emperor Ming,
  6237. here, controlling your mind?
  6238.  
  6239. 1342
  6240. 01:05:27,550 --> 01:05:29,135
  6241. That's your choice, John.
  6242.  
  6243. 1343
  6244. 01:05:29,343 --> 01:05:31,053
  6245. And by blaming me,
  6246. you, you're just
  6247.  
  6248. 1344
  6249. 01:05:31,137 --> 01:05:32,763
  6250. making yourself
  6251. look like a pussy.
  6252.  
  6253. 1345
  6254. 01:05:35,391 --> 01:05:37,143
  6255. Sometimes I think back to
  6256. that Christmas morning
  6257.  
  6258. 1346
  6259. 01:05:37,226 --> 01:05:38,394
  6260. when I was eight years old.
  6261.  
  6262. 1347
  6263. 01:05:38,477 --> 01:05:40,187
  6264. I wish I had just
  6265. gotten a Teddy Ruxpin.
  6266.  
  6267. 1348
  6268. 01:05:41,772 --> 01:05:43,315
  6269. Say that one more time.
  6270.  
  6271. 1349
  6272. 01:05:43,732 --> 01:05:46,610
  6273. Teddy Rux-fucking-pin!
  6274.  
  6275. 1350
  6276. 01:06:09,884 --> 01:06:10,968
  6277. JOHN: Shit!
  6278.  
  6279. 1351
  6280. 01:06:12,970 --> 01:06:14,472
  6281. (GROANING)
  6282.  
  6283. 1352
  6284. 01:06:15,222 --> 01:06:16,307
  6285. Fuck, man!
  6286.  
  6287. 1353
  6288. 01:06:18,058 --> 01:06:19,226
  6289. (PANTING)
  6290.  
  6291. 1354
  6292. 01:06:24,732 --> 01:06:25,858
  6293. (YELLING)
  6294.  
  6295. 1355
  6296. 01:06:33,449 --> 01:06:34,533
  6297. (GROANS)
  6298.  
  6299. 1356
  6300. 01:06:56,263 --> 01:06:57,431
  6301. (COUGHS)
  6302.  
  6303. 1357
  6304. 01:07:01,185 --> 01:07:02,853
  6305. Ow! Fuck! Cocksucker!
  6306.  
  6307. 1358
  6308. 01:07:04,188 --> 01:07:05,898
  6309. Fucking stop! Fuck!
  6310.  
  6311. 1359
  6312. 01:07:08,817 --> 01:07:09,902
  6313. (GROANS)
  6314.  
  6315. 1360
  6316. 01:07:09,985 --> 01:07:11,111
  6317. (COUGHS)
  6318.  
  6319. 1361
  6320. 01:07:18,118 --> 01:07:19,328
  6321. (SOBBING)
  6322. Why are you crying?
  6323.  
  6324. 1362
  6325. 01:07:19,995 --> 01:07:23,290
  6326. My dick is squished
  6327. by the TV.
  6328.  
  6329. 1363
  6330. 01:07:33,175 --> 01:07:34,969
  6331. I'm so sorry, Johnny.
  6332.  
  6333. 1364
  6334. 01:07:35,177 --> 01:07:36,637
  6335. So am I, man.
  6336.  
  6337. 1365
  6338. 01:07:37,179 --> 01:07:38,639
  6339. I love you.
  6340.  
  6341. 1366
  6342. 01:07:38,806 --> 01:07:40,307
  6343. I love you, too.
  6344.  
  6345. 1367
  6346. 01:07:40,808 --> 01:07:42,142
  6347. Listen.
  6348.  
  6349. 1368
  6350. 01:07:42,685 --> 01:07:45,062
  6351. You got to let me help you make
  6352. things right with you and Lori.
  6353.  
  6354. 1369
  6355. 01:07:45,479 --> 01:07:47,982
  6356. There's no putting things right.
  6357. She fucking hates me.
  6358.  
  6359. 1370
  6360. 01:07:48,357 --> 01:07:52,069
  6361. No, John.
  6362. We can get her back.
  6363.  
  6364. 1371
  6365. 01:07:52,278 --> 01:07:53,279
  6366. Look,
  6367.  
  6368. 1372
  6369. 01:07:54,321 --> 01:07:56,407
  6370. you remember
  6371. when you were 10,
  6372.  
  6373. 1373
  6374. 01:07:56,574 --> 01:07:59,201
  6375. and you hit that squirrel
  6376. with your BB gun?
  6377.  
  6378. 1374
  6379. 01:07:59,368 --> 01:08:01,078
  6380. And then when we saw
  6381. it fall from the tree,
  6382.  
  6383. 1375
  6384. 01:08:01,161 --> 01:08:03,205
  6385. we both started crying,
  6386. you remember?
  6387.  
  6388. 1376
  6389. 01:08:03,372 --> 01:08:04,707
  6390. And then we ran up to it
  6391.  
  6392. 1377
  6393. 01:08:04,832 --> 01:08:09,003
  6394. and we tried to give it CPR,
  6395. and it came back to life.
  6396.  
  6397. 1378
  6398. 01:08:09,169 --> 01:08:11,005
  6399. John, we could
  6400. do that again.
  6401.  
  6402. 1379
  6403. 01:08:11,088 --> 01:08:12,131
  6404. Ted,
  6405.  
  6406. 1380
  6407. 01:08:12,339 --> 01:08:14,967
  6408. we crushed its ribcage and blew out
  6409. its lungs trying to give it CPR.
  6410.  
  6411. 1381
  6412. 01:08:15,050 --> 01:08:16,218
  6413. It died.
  6414.  
  6415. 1382
  6416. 01:08:17,428 --> 01:08:20,472
  6417. Come on. We're going
  6418. to the Hatch Shell.
  6419.  
  6420. 1383
  6421. 01:08:21,181 --> 01:08:22,850
  6422. (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
  6423.  
  6424. 1384
  6425. 01:08:28,606 --> 01:08:29,815
  6426. (SINGING)
  6427.  
  6428. 1385
  6429. 01:09:02,681 --> 01:09:04,058
  6430. (AUDIENCE CHEERING)
  6431.  
  6432. 1386
  6433. 01:09:09,355 --> 01:09:10,481
  6434. Yeah!
  6435.  
  6436. 1387
  6437. 01:09:10,564 --> 01:09:13,484
  6438. Thanks. We're going to take a short
  6439. break, but we'll be back in a few.
  6440.  
  6441. 1388
  6442. 01:09:21,659 --> 01:09:23,243
  6443. TED: Play Chopsticks,
  6444. you jazzy slut.
  6445.  
  6446. 1389
  6447. 01:09:23,327 --> 01:09:24,370
  6448. Teddy!
  6449.  
  6450. 1390
  6451. 01:09:24,578 --> 01:09:25,621
  6452. (LAUGHS)
  6453.  
  6454. 1391
  6455. 01:09:25,704 --> 01:09:26,664
  6456. How are you?
  6457.  
  6458. 1392
  6459. 01:09:26,747 --> 01:09:28,374
  6460. How are you doing,
  6461. you fuzzy little asshole?
  6462.  
  6463. 1393
  6464. 01:09:28,457 --> 01:09:30,459
  6465. Well, I'm not a hot,
  6466. half-Muslim chick
  6467.  
  6468. 1394
  6469. 01:09:30,542 --> 01:09:33,087
  6470. who sold 37 million records,
  6471. but I'm hanging in there.
  6472.  
  6473. 1395
  6474. 01:09:33,754 --> 01:09:35,172
  6475. Half-Indian, but thanks.
  6476.  
  6477. 1396
  6478. 01:09:35,255 --> 01:09:36,256
  6479. Yeah, whatever.
  6480. Thanks for 9/11.
  6481.  
  6482. 1397
  6483. 01:09:36,340 --> 01:09:38,342
  6484. Listen, I want you to meet a
  6485. good pal of mine, all right?
  6486.  
  6487. 1398
  6488. 01:09:38,425 --> 01:09:40,177
  6489. John Bennett, Norah Jones.
  6490.  
  6491. 1399
  6492. 01:09:40,260 --> 01:09:41,845
  6493. Hi, Norah Jones.
  6494.  
  6495. 1400
  6496. 01:09:41,929 --> 01:09:44,098
  6497. Hey, there, sweaty.
  6498.  
  6499. 1401
  6500. 01:09:45,766 --> 01:09:47,017
  6501. You ready to
  6502. bring down the house?
  6503.  
  6504. 1402
  6505. 01:09:47,101 --> 01:09:50,270
  6506. Yes, ma'am. Thank you for
  6507. the opportunity, Miss...
  6508.  
  6509. 1403
  6510. 01:09:50,354 --> 01:09:52,356
  6511. Ma'am Jones.
  6512. Thank you.
  6513.  
  6514. 1404
  6515. 01:09:52,523 --> 01:09:54,108
  6516. Jesus, you look fantastic.
  6517.  
  6518. 1405
  6519. 01:09:54,400 --> 01:09:56,694
  6520. Well, you're probably not used
  6521. to seeing me fully clothed.
  6522.  
  6523. 1406
  6524. 01:09:56,777 --> 01:09:58,237
  6525. Yeah, I know, right?
  6526.  
  6527. 1407
  6528. 01:09:58,320 --> 01:10:01,949
  6529. Me and Norah met in 2002 at a
  6530. party at Belinda Carlisle's house
  6531.  
  6532. 1408
  6533. 01:10:02,116 --> 01:10:04,493
  6534. and we had awkward
  6535. fuzzy sex in the coatroom.
  6536.  
  6537. 1409
  6538. 01:10:04,660 --> 01:10:06,662
  6539. Actually, you weren't so bad
  6540. for a guy with no penis.
  6541.  
  6542. 1410
  6543. 01:10:06,870 --> 01:10:09,957
  6544. You know, I have written so many
  6545. angry letters to Hasbro about that.
  6546.  
  6547. 1411
  6548. 01:10:10,582 --> 01:10:11,792
  6549. (AUDIENCE CHEERING)
  6550.  
  6551. 1412
  6552. 01:10:12,668 --> 01:10:13,752
  6553. NORAH: Thank you.
  6554.  
  6555. 1413
  6556. 01:10:13,919 --> 01:10:15,671
  6557. Now, I'm going to
  6558. give my chops a rest
  6559.  
  6560. 1414
  6561. 01:10:15,754 --> 01:10:17,256
  6562. and bring a friend up
  6563. to the stage.
  6564.  
  6565. 1415
  6566. 01:10:17,423 --> 01:10:19,550
  6567. He's going to sing a
  6568. song to a special lady
  6569.  
  6570. 1416
  6571. 01:10:19,633 --> 01:10:21,802
  6572. in the audience
  6573. who he loves very much.
  6574.  
  6575. 1417
  6576. 01:10:21,969 --> 01:10:24,888
  6577. Please give a big hand
  6578. to John Bennett.
  6579.  
  6580. 1418
  6581. 01:10:28,100 --> 01:10:30,144
  6582. Oh, my God.
  6583.  
  6584. 1419
  6585. 01:10:30,227 --> 01:10:32,104
  6586. Holy shit!
  6587.  
  6588. 1420
  6589. 01:10:35,816 --> 01:10:37,651
  6590. I gotta fuck her again.
  6591.  
  6592. 1421
  6593. 01:10:37,901 --> 01:10:38,902
  6594. Uh...
  6595.  
  6596. 1422
  6597. 01:10:38,986 --> 01:10:42,489
  6598. Hi, my name is John Bennett,
  6599.  
  6600. 1423
  6601. 01:10:42,823 --> 01:10:44,825
  6602. and this is
  6603. for Lori Collins.
  6604.  
  6605. 1424
  6606. 01:10:45,784 --> 01:10:46,994
  6607. Because I love you.
  6608.  
  6609. 1425
  6610. 01:10:48,162 --> 01:10:52,332
  6611. This song always reminds me of the
  6612. most important night of my life.
  6613.  
  6614. 1426
  6615. 01:10:53,417 --> 01:10:55,002
  6616. The night we met.
  6617.  
  6618. 1427
  6619. 01:10:55,169 --> 01:10:59,006
  6620. This is the theme song
  6621. from the movie Octopussy.
  6622.  
  6623. 1428
  6624. 01:10:59,256 --> 01:11:00,674
  6625. (PLAYING THEME SONG)
  6626.  
  6627. 1429
  6628. 01:11:03,761 --> 01:11:10,350
  6629. <i>(SINGING) All I wanted was a sweet</i>
  6630. <i>distraction For an hour or two</i>
  6631.  
  6632. 1430
  6633. 01:11:11,185 --> 01:11:15,606
  6634. <i>Had no intention to do</i>
  6635.  
  6636. 1431
  6637. 01:11:16,815 --> 01:11:18,817
  6638. Still better
  6639. than Katy Perry.
  6640.  
  6641. 1432
  6642. 01:11:21,945 --> 01:11:25,532
  6643. <i>Funny how it</i>
  6644. <i>always goes with love</i>
  6645.  
  6646. 1433
  6647. 01:11:25,699 --> 01:11:29,244
  6648. <i>When you don't look,</i>
  6649. <i>you find</i>
  6650.  
  6651. 1434
  6652. 01:11:29,411 --> 01:11:33,332
  6653. <i>But then</i>
  6654. <i>we're two of a kind</i>
  6655.  
  6656. 1435
  6657. 01:11:34,291 --> 01:11:36,543
  6658. <i>(IN FALSETTO)</i>
  6659. <i>We move as one</i>
  6660.  
  6661. 1436
  6662. 01:11:37,127 --> 01:11:38,462
  6663. (AUDIENCE BOOING)
  6664.  
  6665. 1437
  6666. 01:11:38,545 --> 01:11:41,548
  6667. <i>We're an all time high</i>
  6668.  
  6669. 1438
  6670. 01:11:41,924 --> 01:11:43,258
  6671. You suck,
  6672. get off the stage!
  6673.  
  6674. 1439
  6675. 01:11:43,342 --> 01:11:44,885
  6676. Come on.
  6677. Give him a chance.
  6678.  
  6679. 1440
  6680. 01:11:45,511 --> 01:11:46,804
  6681. (AUDIENCE CONTINUES BOOING)
  6682.  
  6683. 1441
  6684. 01:11:47,721 --> 01:11:50,474
  6685. <i>Doing so much more</i>
  6686.  
  6687. 1442
  6688. 01:11:50,682 --> 01:11:51,767
  6689. You're an asshole!
  6690.  
  6691. 1443
  6692. 01:11:52,351 --> 01:11:53,644
  6693. <i>Than falling...</i>
  6694.  
  6695. 1444
  6696. 01:11:55,854 --> 01:11:56,897
  6697. (AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
  6698.  
  6699. 1445
  6700. 01:11:58,190 --> 01:11:59,274
  6701. Oh, Jesus!
  6702.  
  6703. 1446
  6704. 01:12:00,859 --> 01:12:02,528
  6705. Someone call an ambulance!
  6706.  
  6707. 1447
  6708. 01:12:07,241 --> 01:12:08,742
  6709. (AUDIENCE SHOUTING)
  6710.  
  6711. 1448
  6712. 01:12:11,954 --> 01:12:13,539
  6713. REX: That was insane.
  6714.  
  6715. 1449
  6716. 01:12:13,622 --> 01:12:15,499
  6717. Did you see the way the
  6718. guy's body hit the ground?
  6719.  
  6720. 1450
  6721. 01:12:15,582 --> 01:12:17,209
  6722. He was like a ragdoll.
  6723.  
  6724. 1451
  6725. 01:12:17,584 --> 01:12:19,586
  6726. Yeah, I'd rather
  6727. just not talk about it.
  6728.  
  6729. 1452
  6730. 01:12:19,670 --> 01:12:21,255
  6731. Do you want to go
  6732. get a drink after this?
  6733.  
  6734. 1453
  6735. 01:12:21,338 --> 01:12:24,258
  6736. I feel like I could use one
  6737. after seeing a guy almost die.
  6738.  
  6739. 1454
  6740. 01:12:24,341 --> 01:12:27,177
  6741. (CLEARS THROAT) No, I think I'd
  6742. rather just have you take me home.
  6743.  
  6744. 1455
  6745. 01:12:27,261 --> 01:12:29,179
  6746. One drink.
  6747. Come on.
  6748.  
  6749. 1456
  6750. 01:12:29,263 --> 01:12:31,181
  6751. No, not really
  6752. feeling up to it.
  6753.  
  6754. 1457
  6755. 01:12:31,265 --> 01:12:33,100
  6756. All right, I get it.
  6757.  
  6758. 1458
  6759. 01:12:33,183 --> 01:12:36,186
  6760. And, you know,
  6761. I don't blame you.
  6762.  
  6763. 1459
  6764. 01:12:36,270 --> 01:12:37,855
  6765. I mean,
  6766. when you think about it,
  6767.  
  6768. 1460
  6769. 01:12:37,938 --> 01:12:41,191
  6770. it was actually really unfair of
  6771. him to embarrass you like that.
  6772.  
  6773. 1461
  6774. 01:12:42,401 --> 01:12:44,862
  6775. Just to be clear,
  6776. I'm not embarrassed.
  6777.  
  6778. 1462
  6779. 01:12:45,279 --> 01:12:48,073
  6780. Listen, John and I may have our
  6781. problems, but at least he tried.
  6782.  
  6783. 1463
  6784. 01:12:50,242 --> 01:12:53,245
  6785. You know what? I don't feel
  6786. like talking to you about this.
  6787.  
  6788. 1464
  6789. 01:12:53,745 --> 01:12:54,830
  6790. Where are you going?
  6791.  
  6792. 1465
  6793. 01:12:54,997 --> 01:12:58,000
  6794. Taking a cab.
  6795. I'm going home.
  6796.  
  6797. 1466
  6798. 01:13:01,169 --> 01:13:02,212
  6799. (FARTING)
  6800.  
  6801. 1467
  6802. 01:13:02,296 --> 01:13:03,672
  6803. Finally.
  6804.  
  6805. 1468
  6806. 01:13:04,965 --> 01:13:06,258
  6807. (DOORBELL RINGING)
  6808.  
  6809. 1469
  6810. 01:13:14,808 --> 01:13:16,018
  6811. TED: Down here.
  6812.  
  6813. 1470
  6814. 01:13:16,101 --> 01:13:17,769
  6815. Not looking up your towel.
  6816. Swear to God.
  6817.  
  6818. 1471
  6819. 01:13:17,853 --> 01:13:20,355
  6820. Not looking up your towel. Not
  6821. looking at your funny business.
  6822.  
  6823. 1472
  6824. 01:13:20,522 --> 01:13:22,149
  6825. Ted, what are you
  6826. doing here?
  6827.  
  6828. 1473
  6829. 01:13:22,983 --> 01:13:24,318
  6830. I need to talk to you.
  6831.  
  6832. 1474
  6833. 01:13:24,818 --> 01:13:26,904
  6834. Listen, if you're here to fight
  6835. John's battles for him...
  6836.  
  6837. 1475
  6838. 01:13:26,987 --> 01:13:28,864
  6839. Look, just let me
  6840. talk first, all right?
  6841.  
  6842. 1476
  6843. 01:13:28,947 --> 01:13:30,824
  6844. And then you can
  6845. say whatever you want.
  6846.  
  6847. 1477
  6848. 01:13:35,245 --> 01:13:38,916
  6849. (SIGHS) Look, John
  6850. loves you very much,
  6851.  
  6852. 1478
  6853. 01:13:38,999 --> 01:13:40,417
  6854. more than
  6855. anything in the world,
  6856.  
  6857. 1479
  6858. 01:13:40,500 --> 01:13:43,545
  6859. and he's falling to fucking
  6860. pieces without you.
  6861.  
  6862. 1480
  6863. 01:13:44,087 --> 01:13:45,964
  6864. He knows
  6865. he screwed up huge
  6866.  
  6867. 1481
  6868. 01:13:46,048 --> 01:13:49,509
  6869. but you've got to believe me
  6870. it wasn't all his fault.
  6871.  
  6872. 1482
  6873. 01:13:49,593 --> 01:13:53,305
  6874. I told him to bail on you that
  6875. night at Rex's and he said, "No."
  6876.  
  6877. 1483
  6878. 01:13:53,388 --> 01:13:57,392
  6879. He said "no," he was going to stay there
  6880. with you, and I twisted his arm, Lori.
  6881.  
  6882. 1484
  6883. 01:13:57,893 --> 01:13:59,937
  6884. So, if you just give him
  6885. one more chance
  6886.  
  6887. 1485
  6888. 01:14:00,562 --> 01:14:03,774
  6889. I promise I will leave
  6890. and I'll never come back.
  6891.  
  6892. 1486
  6893. 01:14:03,941 --> 01:14:06,068
  6894. All right?
  6895. He'll be all yours.
  6896.  
  6897. 1487
  6898. 01:14:06,944 --> 01:14:08,904
  6899. Ted, that's
  6900. a really nice offer,
  6901.  
  6902. 1488
  6903. 01:14:08,987 --> 01:14:11,365
  6904. but I don't want
  6905. you to do that.
  6906.  
  6907. 1489
  6908. 01:14:11,531 --> 01:14:15,535
  6909. This is between John and me and
  6910. I don't think it can be fixed.
  6911.  
  6912. 1490
  6913. 01:14:15,702 --> 01:14:17,079
  6914. Yeah, because of me!
  6915.  
  6916. 1491
  6917. 01:14:17,204 --> 01:14:20,457
  6918. Look, Lori,
  6919. you want him to be a man.
  6920.  
  6921. 1492
  6922. 01:14:20,540 --> 01:14:22,459
  6923. But as long as
  6924. he's got his teddy bear,
  6925.  
  6926. 1493
  6927. 01:14:22,542 --> 01:14:24,670
  6928. he's always going to
  6929. be a boy.
  6930.  
  6931. 1494
  6932. 01:14:26,713 --> 01:14:29,466
  6933. He's waiting down
  6934. at Charlie's right now.
  6935.  
  6936. 1495
  6937. 01:14:29,633 --> 01:14:33,220
  6938. So, if you go down there
  6939. and just talk to him
  6940.  
  6941. 1496
  6942. 01:14:33,387 --> 01:14:35,222
  6943. I'll be gone
  6944. when you get back.
  6945.  
  6946. 1497
  6947. 01:14:36,139 --> 01:14:37,432
  6948. Forever.
  6949.  
  6950. 1498
  6951. 01:14:37,891 --> 01:14:40,811
  6952. And, you'll see,
  6953.  
  6954. 1499
  6955. 01:14:40,894 --> 01:14:43,897
  6956. he'll never be
  6957. scared of thunder again.
  6958.  
  6959. 1500
  6960. 01:15:27,607 --> 01:15:31,236
  6961. "Michelob Ultra
  6962. Tuscan Orange Grapefruit."
  6963.  
  6964. 1501
  6965. 01:15:31,403 --> 01:15:33,697
  6966. My God,
  6967. America is imploding.
  6968.  
  6969. 1502
  6970. 01:15:42,748 --> 01:15:43,790
  6971. Hi, Ted.
  6972.  
  6973. 1503
  6974. 01:15:44,416 --> 01:15:45,459
  6975. Fuck!
  6976.  
  6977. 1504
  6978. 01:16:04,686 --> 01:16:05,979
  6979. Lori, what...
  6980.  
  6981. 1505
  6982. 01:16:06,480 --> 01:16:07,522
  6983. Hey.
  6984.  
  6985. 1506
  6986. 01:16:07,689 --> 01:16:08,899
  6987. What are you doing here?
  6988.  
  6989. 1507
  6990. 01:16:09,483 --> 01:16:11,318
  6991. You can thank Ted.
  6992.  
  6993. 1508
  6994. 01:16:14,988 --> 01:16:17,199
  6995. Should I sit?
  6996.  
  6997. 1509
  6998. 01:16:17,657 --> 01:16:19,701
  6999. Yeah, if you want.
  7000.  
  7001. 1510
  7002. 01:16:19,951 --> 01:16:21,244
  7003. Okay.
  7004.  
  7005. 1511
  7006. 01:16:23,330 --> 01:16:25,040
  7007. So, work's good?
  7008. Everything good, there?
  7009.  
  7010. 1512
  7011. 01:16:25,207 --> 01:16:27,709
  7012. Yeah. Yeah, work's good.
  7013.  
  7014. 1513
  7015. 01:16:29,503 --> 01:16:32,047
  7016. I guess we can't make
  7017. small talk all day, huh?
  7018.  
  7019. 1514
  7020. 01:16:33,340 --> 01:16:37,052
  7021. If it's okay with you, I just
  7022. want to say what I want to say.
  7023.  
  7024. 1515
  7025. 01:16:38,178 --> 01:16:39,721
  7026. I could sit here and
  7027. tell you I'm sorry,
  7028.  
  7029. 1516
  7030. 01:16:39,805 --> 01:16:41,264
  7031. it was a huge
  7032. misunderstanding,
  7033.  
  7034. 1517
  7035. 01:16:41,348 --> 01:16:43,892
  7036. and I'm ready to change,
  7037.  
  7038. 1518
  7039. 01:16:44,017 --> 01:16:45,852
  7040. but I don't think you want
  7041. to hear any of that crap.
  7042.  
  7043. 1519
  7044. 01:16:46,686 --> 01:16:49,022
  7045. I'm not going to try to
  7046. get you to take me back.
  7047.  
  7048. 1520
  7049. 01:16:49,523 --> 01:16:50,565
  7050. Why would you?
  7051.  
  7052. 1521
  7053. 01:16:50,649 --> 01:16:52,567
  7054. I've been a really shitty boyfriend
  7055. for the last four years.
  7056.  
  7057. 1522
  7058. 01:16:52,651 --> 01:16:54,277
  7059. I don't deserve you.
  7060.  
  7061. 1523
  7062. 01:16:55,028 --> 01:16:58,782
  7063. I know I didn't take our
  7064. relationship seriously but, Lori,
  7065.  
  7066. 1524
  7067. 01:16:58,865 --> 01:17:00,700
  7068. I do love you more
  7069. than life itself.
  7070.  
  7071. 1525
  7072. 01:17:02,661 --> 01:17:06,081
  7073. All I want is... I just
  7074. want to end on good terms.
  7075.  
  7076. 1526
  7077. 01:17:06,164 --> 01:17:07,457
  7078. I owe that to you.
  7079.  
  7080. 1527
  7081. 01:17:07,624 --> 01:17:10,043
  7082. I want you to be happy.
  7083. You deserve that.
  7084.  
  7085. 1528
  7086. 01:17:10,877 --> 01:17:14,840
  7087. And I just hope that maybe
  7088. we can still be friends.
  7089.  
  7090. 1529
  7091. 01:17:16,550 --> 01:17:18,468
  7092. Thank you for
  7093. being so honest.
  7094.  
  7095. 1530
  7096. 01:17:21,555 --> 01:17:23,515
  7097. That's pretty much it.
  7098.  
  7099. 1531
  7100. 01:17:26,268 --> 01:17:27,394
  7101. Thanks for coming by.
  7102.  
  7103. 1532
  7104. 01:17:49,457 --> 01:17:50,584
  7105. (TED GRUNTING)
  7106.  
  7107. 1533
  7108. 01:17:58,884 --> 01:18:00,010
  7109. TED: Whoa!
  7110.  
  7111. 1534
  7112. 01:18:03,096 --> 01:18:05,682
  7113. Yeah, as you can see
  7114.  
  7115. 1535
  7116. 01:18:05,765 --> 01:18:09,102
  7117. you've been a part of our
  7118. family for quite some time.
  7119.  
  7120. 1536
  7121. 01:18:10,937 --> 01:18:12,189
  7122. Welcome home.
  7123.  
  7124. 1537
  7125. 01:18:12,272 --> 01:18:13,815
  7126. Yeah, it's kind of
  7127. funny, actually.
  7128.  
  7129. 1538
  7130. 01:18:13,899 --> 01:18:16,276
  7131. I got a lot of pictures of
  7132. you guys at my house.
  7133.  
  7134. 1539
  7135. 01:18:16,526 --> 01:18:18,278
  7136. Is he all mine, Daddy?
  7137.  
  7138. 1540
  7139. 01:18:18,904 --> 01:18:22,199
  7140. Yes, he is, my little winner.
  7141. Yes, he is.
  7142.  
  7143. 1541
  7144. 01:18:22,574 --> 01:18:24,659
  7145. Ted, you've arrived
  7146. at a lucky time.
  7147.  
  7148. 1542
  7149. 01:18:24,743 --> 01:18:26,494
  7150. It's almost
  7151. Robert's play hour.
  7152.  
  7153. 1543
  7154. 01:18:26,703 --> 01:18:29,080
  7155. Yeah, I'm guessing you guys
  7156. don't have a PS3.
  7157.  
  7158. 1544
  7159. 01:18:29,164 --> 01:18:32,042
  7160. I'm guessing you're more of a "wooden
  7161. horse with a wig" kind of family.
  7162.  
  7163. 1545
  7164. 01:18:32,876 --> 01:18:34,461
  7165. Yeah.
  7166.  
  7167. 1546
  7168. 01:18:34,544 --> 01:18:36,421
  7169. No. Yeah. No.
  7170.  
  7171. 1547
  7172. 01:18:36,963 --> 01:18:37,964
  7173. Yeah.
  7174.  
  7175. 1548
  7176. 01:18:45,513 --> 01:18:47,474
  7177. TED: Yeah, see,
  7178. there's the guy.
  7179.  
  7180. 1549
  7181. 01:18:47,766 --> 01:18:51,269
  7182. Now, Ted, you belong to Robert now, okay?
  7183. You do as he says.
  7184.  
  7185. 1550
  7186. 01:18:51,436 --> 01:18:53,438
  7187. You think you're just going to
  7188. get away with a kidnapping?
  7189.  
  7190. 1551
  7191. 01:18:53,605 --> 01:18:54,940
  7192. That's a nice fucking
  7193. example you're setting...
  7194.  
  7195. 1552
  7196. 01:18:55,023 --> 01:18:56,149
  7197. (SHOUTING) Language!
  7198.  
  7199. 1553
  7200. 01:18:56,233 --> 01:18:57,734
  7201. Sorry. Sorry.
  7202.  
  7203. 1554
  7204. 01:19:02,989 --> 01:19:05,951
  7205. You know, Ted,
  7206. when I was a little boy,
  7207.  
  7208. 1555
  7209. 01:19:08,036 --> 01:19:10,247
  7210. I saw you on television.
  7211.  
  7212. 1556
  7213. 01:19:10,413 --> 01:19:11,873
  7214. And I thought you were
  7215. the most amazing,
  7216.  
  7217. 1557
  7218. 01:19:11,957 --> 01:19:14,626
  7219. most wonderful thing
  7220. I'd ever seen. Ever.
  7221.  
  7222. 1558
  7223. 01:19:15,752 --> 01:19:20,423
  7224. And I asked my dad if I could have
  7225. a magical little teddy bear, too.
  7226.  
  7227. 1559
  7228. 01:19:20,507 --> 01:19:21,925
  7229. And he said, "No."
  7230.  
  7231. 1560
  7232. 01:19:22,300 --> 01:19:24,511
  7233. Can you just email me
  7234. the rest of this story?
  7235.  
  7236. 1561
  7237. 01:19:24,886 --> 01:19:26,930
  7238. And I was so heartbroken.
  7239.  
  7240. 1562
  7241. 01:19:27,639 --> 01:19:30,433
  7242. And I promised myself that
  7243. if I ever had a son,
  7244.  
  7245. 1563
  7246. 01:19:30,600 --> 01:19:35,689
  7247. I would never,
  7248. ever, ever say no to him.
  7249.  
  7250. 1564
  7251. 01:19:37,816 --> 01:19:39,109
  7252. Even
  7253.  
  7254. 1565
  7255. 01:19:39,276 --> 01:19:42,279
  7256. Maybe "no" to a Snickers bar every
  7257. once in a while wouldn't hurt.
  7258.  
  7259. 1566
  7260. 01:19:42,362 --> 01:19:44,364
  7261. Me and Ted are going
  7262. to be best friends, Daddy.
  7263.  
  7264. 1567
  7265. 01:19:44,906 --> 01:19:47,909
  7266. Yes, you are,
  7267. my little chipmunk.
  7268.  
  7269. 1568
  7270. 01:19:51,538 --> 01:19:53,164
  7271. Happy playtime.
  7272.  
  7273. 1569
  7274. 01:19:55,125 --> 01:19:57,210
  7275. Jesus fucking Christ!
  7276.  
  7277. 1570
  7278. 01:19:57,294 --> 01:19:59,421
  7279. I said a bad word
  7280. one time.
  7281.  
  7282. 1571
  7283. 01:20:00,213 --> 01:20:01,840
  7284. Daddy punished me
  7285. for it.
  7286.  
  7287. 1572
  7288. 01:20:01,923 --> 01:20:04,175
  7289. That's a great story.
  7290. I felt like I was there.
  7291.  
  7292. 1573
  7293. 01:20:04,384 --> 01:20:06,177
  7294. Daddy gave me an ouch.
  7295.  
  7296. 1574
  7297. 01:20:06,469 --> 01:20:09,180
  7298. Now, I have to
  7299. give you an ouch.
  7300.  
  7301. 1575
  7302. 01:20:10,056 --> 01:20:11,308
  7303. (SCREAMING IN PAIN)
  7304.  
  7305. 1576
  7306. 01:20:14,227 --> 01:20:16,563
  7307. All right, kid, you win.
  7308. We'll do it your way.
  7309.  
  7310. 1577
  7311. 01:20:16,646 --> 01:20:18,231
  7312. What do you want to do?
  7313. You want to play a game?
  7314.  
  7315. 1578
  7316. 01:20:18,315 --> 01:20:19,733
  7317. It's playtime, right?
  7318. We'll play a game.
  7319.  
  7320. 1579
  7321. 01:20:19,816 --> 01:20:21,735
  7322. Yeah, I want to
  7323. play a game.
  7324.  
  7325. 1580
  7326. 01:20:21,818 --> 01:20:23,862
  7327. Good, good. Let's see.
  7328. How about we...
  7329.  
  7330. 1581
  7331. 01:20:23,945 --> 01:20:25,697
  7332. How about we play a little
  7333. game of hide and seek?
  7334.  
  7335. 1582
  7336. 01:20:26,072 --> 01:20:28,283
  7337. I love hide and seek.
  7338. I'll hide.
  7339.  
  7340. 1583
  7341. 01:20:28,450 --> 01:20:30,618
  7342. Now, hang on a sec, there.
  7343.  
  7344. 1584
  7345. 01:20:30,702 --> 01:20:34,247
  7346. Your dad likes you to show good manners.
  7347. Right, Tubby McFat-Fuck?
  7348.  
  7349. 1585
  7350. 01:20:34,581 --> 01:20:36,458
  7351. Okay. You hide first.
  7352.  
  7353. 1586
  7354. 01:20:36,541 --> 01:20:37,625
  7355. Great. Fantastic.
  7356.  
  7357. 1587
  7358. 01:20:37,709 --> 01:20:41,212
  7359. Okay, now you count to 100, and
  7360. then you try to find me, okay?
  7361.  
  7362. 1588
  7363. 01:20:41,296 --> 01:20:42,339
  7364. Okay.
  7365.  
  7366. 1589
  7367. 01:20:43,882 --> 01:20:46,551
  7368. Do I need to wash my hands
  7369. before I play this game?
  7370.  
  7371. 1590
  7372. 01:20:47,260 --> 01:20:50,555
  7373. No. That's a weird fucking question.
  7374. No, just start counting.
  7375.  
  7376. 1591
  7377. 01:20:52,682 --> 01:20:54,768
  7378. One, two,
  7379.  
  7380. 1592
  7381. 01:20:55,643 --> 01:20:59,105
  7382. three, four, five,
  7383.  
  7384. 1593
  7385. 01:20:59,814 --> 01:21:01,900
  7386. six, seven...
  7387.  
  7388. 1594
  7389. 01:21:02,067 --> 01:21:04,235
  7390. No peeking, now,
  7391. or you'll get kid cancer.
  7392.  
  7393. 1595
  7394. 01:21:04,402 --> 01:21:07,697
  7395. ...eight, nine, ten,
  7396.  
  7397. 1596
  7398. 01:21:08,365 --> 01:21:11,826
  7399. eleven, twelve,
  7400. thirteen...
  7401.  
  7402. 1597
  7403. 01:21:20,001 --> 01:21:21,544
  7404. (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
  7405.  
  7406. 1598
  7407. 01:21:24,172 --> 01:21:25,340
  7408. (SINGING)
  7409.  
  7410. 1599
  7411. 01:22:03,670 --> 01:22:04,921
  7412. (STAPLING)
  7413. Ah!
  7414.  
  7415. 1600
  7416. 01:22:05,088 --> 01:22:06,798
  7417. (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
  7418.  
  7419. 1601
  7420. 01:22:31,156 --> 01:22:32,198
  7421. Hey.
  7422.  
  7423. 1602
  7424. 01:22:32,740 --> 01:22:33,992
  7425. Hey.
  7426.  
  7427. 1603
  7428. 01:22:35,285 --> 01:22:36,578
  7429. You walking home
  7430. alone, huh?
  7431.  
  7432. 1604
  7433. 01:22:37,036 --> 01:22:38,079
  7434. Yeah.
  7435.  
  7436. 1605
  7437. 01:22:39,414 --> 01:22:40,582
  7438. Do you need a lift?
  7439.  
  7440. 1606
  7441. 01:22:40,999 --> 01:22:42,083
  7442. Oh, I'm okay.
  7443.  
  7444. 1607
  7445. 01:22:42,167 --> 01:22:44,836
  7446. If I get raped, it'll be my
  7447. fault for what I'm wearing.
  7448.  
  7449. 1608
  7450. 01:22:45,712 --> 01:22:47,922
  7451. Listen, John.
  7452.  
  7453. 1609
  7454. 01:22:49,174 --> 01:22:51,426
  7455. There's something that I
  7456. need to say to you, too.
  7457.  
  7458. 1610
  7459. 01:23:01,311 --> 01:23:02,729
  7460. (CELL PHONE RINGING)
  7461.  
  7462. 1611
  7463. 01:23:06,858 --> 01:23:08,568
  7464. HEY
  7465. HEY
  7466.  
  7467. 1612
  7468. 01:23:08,818 --> 01:23:10,487
  7469. John, I hope that...“
  7470.  
  7471. 1613
  7472. 01:23:11,237 --> 01:23:13,406
  7473. Listen, I don't want
  7474. you to think that...
  7475.  
  7476. 1614
  7477. 01:23:13,531 --> 01:23:14,866
  7478. (CELL PHONE RINGING)
  7479.  
  7480. 1615
  7481. 01:23:16,534 --> 01:23:17,869
  7482. Sorry.
  7483.  
  7484. 1616
  7485. 01:23:18,369 --> 01:23:21,331
  7486. I want us to keep talking
  7487. because I think that maybe...
  7488.  
  7489. 1617
  7490. 01:23:21,414 --> 01:23:22,415
  7491. (CELL PHONE RINGING)
  7492.  
  7493. 1618
  7494. 01:23:22,499 --> 01:23:23,541
  7495. Go ahead.
  7496.  
  7497. 1619
  7498. 01:23:23,625 --> 01:23:25,335
  7499. Whoever this is,
  7500. it's not a good time.
  7501.  
  7502. 1620
  7503. 01:23:25,418 --> 01:23:26,878
  7504. John, it's me.
  7505. Can you hear me?
  7506.  
  7507. 1621
  7508. 01:23:27,378 --> 01:23:29,547
  7509. Ted? Listen,
  7510. I got to call you back.
  7511.  
  7512. 1622
  7513. 01:23:29,631 --> 01:23:31,591
  7514. No, John, don't hang up!
  7515. I'm in trouble.
  7516.  
  7517. 1623
  7518. 01:23:32,008 --> 01:23:33,259
  7519. What do you mean?
  7520. What kind of trouble?
  7521.  
  7522. 1624
  7523. 01:23:33,426 --> 01:23:35,470
  7524. They got me. That freaky
  7525. guy from the park,
  7526.  
  7527. 1625
  7528. 01:23:35,553 --> 01:23:37,222
  7529. and that kid who I
  7530. think is his son,
  7531.  
  7532. 1626
  7533. 01:23:37,305 --> 01:23:38,681
  7534. but may also be his lover,
  7535. I don't know.
  7536.  
  7537. 1627
  7538. 01:23:38,765 --> 01:23:40,099
  7539. Whoa, whoa, slow down.
  7540. Where are you?
  7541.  
  7542. 1628
  7543. 01:23:40,350 --> 01:23:41,434
  7544. Uh...
  7545.  
  7546. 1629
  7547. 01:23:41,518 --> 01:23:42,894
  7548. I'm not sure, it's...
  7549.  
  7550. 1630
  7551. 01:23:42,977 --> 01:23:44,020
  7552. (DIAL TONE)
  7553.  
  7554. 1631
  7555. 01:23:44,103 --> 01:23:46,105
  7556. Hello? Hello, John?
  7557.  
  7558. 1632
  7559. 01:23:47,482 --> 01:23:48,525
  7560. Hello?
  7561.  
  7562. 1633
  7563. 01:23:49,359 --> 01:23:51,861
  7564. You're not a very
  7565. polite guest, are you?
  7566.  
  7567. 1634
  7568. 01:23:51,945 --> 01:23:53,029
  7569. Shit!
  7570.  
  7571. 1635
  7572. 01:23:53,112 --> 01:23:55,323
  7573. Ted, hello? Ted?
  7574.  
  7575. 1636
  7576. 01:23:55,406 --> 01:23:56,783
  7577. What's the matter?
  7578. Is he okay?
  7579.  
  7580. 1637
  7581. 01:23:57,242 --> 01:23:58,952
  7582. I don't know.
  7583. Where is he?
  7584.  
  7585. 1638
  7586. 01:23:59,118 --> 01:24:00,828
  7587. I don't know. He just
  7588. said he was in trouble.
  7589.  
  7590. 1639
  7591. 01:24:01,663 --> 01:24:03,039
  7592. Can you call him back?
  7593.  
  7594. 1640
  7595. 01:24:03,122 --> 01:24:04,332
  7596. No, it's blocked.
  7597.  
  7598. 1641
  7599. 01:24:05,500 --> 01:24:06,584
  7600. Wait a second.
  7601.  
  7602. 1642
  7603. 01:24:10,630 --> 01:24:12,590
  7604. Go. Take Columbus to Herald
  7605. and get on the expressway.
  7606.  
  7607. 1643
  7608. 01:24:16,177 --> 01:24:17,804
  7609. Hello, 911?
  7610.  
  7611. 1644
  7612. 01:24:17,929 --> 01:24:19,222
  7613. I need the police
  7614. right away.
  7615.  
  7616. 1645
  7617. 01:24:19,389 --> 01:24:21,391
  7618. This guy took
  7619. my teddy bear.
  7620.  
  7621. 1646
  7622. 01:24:22,183 --> 01:24:23,226
  7623. Hello?
  7624.  
  7625. 1647
  7626. 01:24:26,104 --> 01:24:28,273
  7627. TED: Let me out of here,
  7628. you crazy bastard!
  7629.  
  7630. 1648
  7631. 01:24:30,900 --> 01:24:31,901
  7632. I hear the fat kid running.
  7633. I hear the fat kid running.
  7634.  
  7635. 1649
  7636. 01:24:31,985 --> 01:24:34,153
  7637. I bet it's hilarious.
  7638. Let me out of here!
  7639.  
  7640. 1650
  7641. 01:24:34,362 --> 01:24:36,239
  7642. I am a citizen of
  7643. the United States of America
  7644.  
  7645. 1651
  7646. 01:24:36,322 --> 01:24:37,699
  7647. and I have rights!
  7648. (GRUNTS)
  7649.  
  7650. 1652
  7651. 01:24:40,451 --> 01:24:41,995
  7652. Robert, seatbelt.
  7653.  
  7654. 1653
  7655. 01:24:42,954 --> 01:24:44,831
  7656. JOHN: It should be
  7657. right here, somewhere.
  7658.  
  7659. 1654
  7660. 01:24:46,165 --> 01:24:47,500
  7661. (ENGINE REVVING)
  7662.  
  7663. 1655
  7664. 01:24:49,127 --> 01:24:50,169
  7665. Johnny!
  7666.  
  7667. 1656
  7668. 01:24:50,753 --> 01:24:53,256
  7669. Whoa, whoa! Stop, stop!
  7670. That's them, turn around!
  7671.  
  7672. 1657
  7673. 01:24:59,512 --> 01:25:00,555
  7674. Stay with them.
  7675.  
  7676. 1658
  7677. 01:25:04,726 --> 01:25:05,810
  7678. (HONKING)
  7679.  
  7680. 1659
  7681. 01:25:08,521 --> 01:25:09,564
  7682. Hang gm
  7683.  
  7684. 1660
  7685. 01:25:25,705 --> 01:25:26,789
  7686. (GASPS)
  7687.  
  7688. 1661
  7689. 01:25:27,582 --> 01:25:28,875
  7690. Back off, Susan Boyle!
  7691.  
  7692. 1662
  7693. 01:25:34,088 --> 01:25:36,174
  7694. Oh, my God! He's going to jump!
  7695. Get closer.
  7696.  
  7697. 1663
  7698. 01:25:41,137 --> 01:25:42,972
  7699. All right, easy.
  7700. Come on, Ted.
  7701.  
  7702. 1664
  7703. 01:25:46,559 --> 01:25:47,644
  7704. Shit!
  7705. Yes!
  7706.  
  7707. 1665
  7708. 01:25:47,935 --> 01:25:50,313
  7709. Hey, Johnny!
  7710. Total T.J. Hooker, right?
  7711.  
  7712. 1666
  7713. 01:25:50,396 --> 01:25:51,648
  7714. Yes! Fucking-A right!
  7715.  
  7716. 1667
  7717. 01:25:51,814 --> 01:25:52,940
  7718. (LAUGHS)
  7719.  
  7720. 1668
  7721. 01:25:53,608 --> 01:25:54,859
  7722. (BRAKES SCREECHING)
  7723.  
  7724. 1669
  7725. 01:25:55,234 --> 01:25:56,361
  7726. Oh, shit!
  7727.  
  7728. 1670
  7729. 01:26:01,574 --> 01:26:02,575
  7730. Go! Go!Go!
  7731.  
  7732. 1671
  7733. 01:26:15,421 --> 01:26:16,714
  7734. Daddy!
  7735.  
  7736. 1672
  7737. 01:26:18,758 --> 01:26:20,635
  7738. Let's see how well
  7739. you know these streets.
  7740.  
  7741. 1673
  7742. 01:26:22,595 --> 01:26:23,638
  7743. Where is he?
  7744.  
  7745. 1674
  7746. 01:26:37,527 --> 01:26:38,653
  7747. (GRUNTING)
  7748.  
  7749. 1675
  7750. 01:26:44,450 --> 01:26:45,576
  7751. Jesus!
  7752.  
  7753. 1676
  7754. 01:26:58,047 --> 01:26:59,298
  7755. JOHN: There he is.
  7756. Pull over.
  7757.  
  7758. 1677
  7759. 01:27:08,516 --> 01:27:09,517
  7760. (PANTING)
  7761.  
  7762. 1678
  7763. 01:27:15,606 --> 01:27:16,649
  7764. (GRUNTING)
  7765.  
  7766. 1679
  7767. 01:27:30,496 --> 01:27:31,581
  7768. (GRUNTING)
  7769.  
  7770. 1680
  7771. 01:27:32,874 --> 01:27:33,916
  7772. Where?
  7773.  
  7774. 1681
  7775. 01:27:36,002 --> 01:27:37,211
  7776. ROBERT: No!
  7777.  
  7778. 1682
  7779. 01:27:37,295 --> 01:27:41,382
  7780. You can't have
  7781. my teddy bear!
  7782.  
  7783. 1683
  7784. 01:27:47,847 --> 01:27:49,348
  7785. Holy shit.
  7786.  
  7787. 1684
  7788. 01:27:49,432 --> 01:27:50,475
  7789. Sorry.
  7790.  
  7791. 1685
  7792. 01:27:50,558 --> 01:27:52,518
  7793. Somebody had to go Joan
  7794. Crawford on that kid.
  7795.  
  7796. 1686
  7797. 01:27:52,810 --> 01:27:54,353
  7798. Come on.
  7799.  
  7800. 1687
  7801. 01:27:59,025 --> 01:28:00,193
  7802. Ted?
  7803.  
  7804. 1688
  7805. 01:28:06,908 --> 01:28:08,034
  7806. Oh, my God!
  7807.  
  7808. 1689
  7809. 01:28:11,245 --> 01:28:12,288
  7810. Shit!
  7811.  
  7812. 1690
  7813. 01:28:37,146 --> 01:28:38,147
  7814. (GASPING)
  7815.  
  7816. 1691
  7817. 01:28:38,397 --> 01:28:39,440
  7818. JOHN: Jesus.
  7819.  
  7820. 1692
  7821. 01:28:39,732 --> 01:28:41,651
  7822. Stay here. Just stay there!
  7823. No, John!
  7824.  
  7825. 1693
  7826. 01:28:52,954 --> 01:28:54,497
  7827. You're mine, Ted!
  7828.  
  7829. 1694
  7830. 01:28:54,831 --> 01:28:57,333
  7831. Screw you, pal.
  7832. I belong to John Bennett.
  7833.  
  7834. 1695
  7835. 01:28:57,416 --> 01:29:01,087
  7836. But I can give you love,
  7837. and rocking horses,
  7838.  
  7839. 1696
  7840. 01:29:01,712 --> 01:29:03,256
  7841. and dancing.
  7842.  
  7843. 1697
  7844. 01:29:03,548 --> 01:29:06,008
  7845. I think we're very
  7846. far apart on this.
  7847.  
  7848. 1698
  7849. 01:29:17,061 --> 01:29:18,104
  7850. (RIPPING)
  7851.  
  7852. 1699
  7853. 01:29:26,362 --> 01:29:28,072
  7854. Ted!
  7855.  
  7856. 1700
  7857. 01:29:56,475 --> 01:29:57,852
  7858. (POLICE SIREN WAILING)
  7859.  
  7860. 1701
  7861. 01:30:16,120 --> 01:30:17,121
  7862. Oh, my God!
  7863.  
  7864. 1702
  7865. 01:30:17,204 --> 01:30:18,456
  7866. Ted!
  7867.  
  7868. 1703
  7869. 01:30:20,750 --> 01:30:21,834
  7870. John.
  7871.  
  7872. 1704
  7873. 01:30:22,501 --> 01:30:24,337
  7874. Lori, get the stuffing.
  7875. Get it all.
  7876.  
  7877. 1705
  7878. 01:30:29,842 --> 01:30:31,302
  7879. Johnny.
  7880.  
  7881. 1706
  7882. 01:30:31,510 --> 01:30:33,220
  7883. You're going to be okay, buddy.
  7884. Do you understand?
  7885.  
  7886. 1707
  7887. 01:30:33,304 --> 01:30:34,555
  7888. You're going to be fine.
  7889.  
  7890. 1708
  7891. 01:30:35,389 --> 01:30:38,476
  7892. Jesus, I look like
  7893. the robot from Aliens.
  7894.  
  7895. 1709
  7896. 01:30:38,559 --> 01:30:40,436
  7897. No, look at me, buddy.
  7898.  
  7899. 1710
  7900. 01:30:40,519 --> 01:30:42,021
  7901. I promise,
  7902. you're going to be okay.
  7903.  
  7904. 1711
  7905. 01:30:43,272 --> 01:30:45,733
  7906. I don't think so. I'm...
  7907.  
  7908. 1712
  7909. 01:30:47,735 --> 01:30:48,819
  7910. I'm in trouble.
  7911.  
  7912. 1713
  7913. 01:30:49,820 --> 01:30:50,863
  7914. I need.
  7915.  
  7916. 1714
  7917. 01:30:51,364 --> 01:30:52,865
  7918. I need to
  7919. tell you something.
  7920.  
  7921. 1715
  7922. 01:30:53,366 --> 01:30:54,533
  7923. What is it?
  7924.  
  7925. 1716
  7926. 01:30:56,786 --> 01:30:59,622
  7927. Don't ever lose her again.
  7928.  
  7929. 1717
  7930. 01:31:00,373 --> 01:31:02,541
  7931. She's the most important...
  7932.  
  7933. 1718
  7934. 01:31:02,708 --> 01:31:03,918
  7935. (COUGHING)
  7936.  
  7937. 1719
  7938. 01:31:05,002 --> 01:31:07,338
  7939. ...the most important
  7940. part of your life.
  7941.  
  7942. 1720
  7943. 01:31:09,340 --> 01:31:12,051
  7944. Even more than me.
  7945.  
  7946. 1721
  7947. 01:31:13,177 --> 01:31:15,721
  7948. She's your
  7949. thunder buddy now.
  7950.  
  7951. 1722
  7952. 01:31:16,889 --> 01:31:18,724
  7953. She's...
  7954.  
  7955. 1723
  7956. 01:31:35,908 --> 01:31:37,284
  7957. (THUNDER RUMBLING)
  7958.  
  7959. 1724
  7960. 01:32:01,642 --> 01:32:03,185
  7961. I got it.
  7962.  
  7963. 1725
  7964. 01:32:18,951 --> 01:32:21,078
  7965. Baby, I don't know if
  7966. this is going to work.
  7967.  
  7968. 1726
  7969. 01:32:21,162 --> 01:32:22,288
  7970. Please, just try.
  7971.  
  7972. 1727
  7973. 01:32:32,339 --> 01:32:34,008
  7974. Come on, buddy.
  7975.  
  7976. 1728
  7977. 01:32:53,444 --> 01:32:54,570
  7978. (SOBBING)
  7979.  
  7980. 1729
  7981. 01:33:20,513 --> 01:33:22,890
  7982. I'm so sorry.
  7983.  
  7984. 1730
  7985. 01:33:23,349 --> 01:33:26,185
  7986. You did everything
  7987. you could.
  7988.  
  7989. 1731
  7990. 01:33:26,894 --> 01:33:28,896
  7991. I'm so sorry.
  7992.  
  7993. 1732
  7994. 01:33:29,980 --> 01:33:31,065
  7995. (THUNDER CRASHING)
  7996.  
  7997. 1733
  7998. 01:35:46,575 --> 01:35:47,660
  7999. (SIGHS)
  8000.  
  8001. 1734
  8002. 01:36:03,300 --> 01:36:04,260
  8003. Ted!
  8004.  
  8005. 1735
  8006. 01:36:04,343 --> 01:36:05,427
  8007. I'm alive, Johnny!
  8008.  
  8009. 1736
  8010. 01:36:05,594 --> 01:36:06,595
  8011. Oh, my God!
  8012.  
  8013. 1737
  8014. 01:36:06,679 --> 01:36:08,973
  8015. I'm alive.
  8016. Your magical wish worked!
  8017.  
  8018. 1738
  8019. 01:36:09,807 --> 01:36:10,849
  8020. You're back!
  8021.  
  8022. 1739
  8023. 01:36:11,058 --> 01:36:12,935
  8024. Yeah, I mean,
  8025. when you sewed me up
  8026.  
  8027. 1740
  8028. 01:36:13,018 --> 01:36:14,895
  8029. you put some of the stuffing
  8030. in the wrong places
  8031.  
  8032. 1741
  8033. 01:36:14,979 --> 01:36:16,772
  8034. so I'm a little fucked up.
  8035.  
  8036. 1742
  8037. 01:36:16,855 --> 01:36:19,692
  8038. But will you take care of me
  8039. forever and ever?
  8040.  
  8041. 1743
  8042. 01:36:21,819 --> 01:36:23,821
  8043. (LAUGHS) I'm just kidding you.
  8044. I thought it would be funny
  8045.  
  8046. 1744
  8047. 01:36:23,904 --> 01:36:25,489
  8048. if you thought
  8049. I was fucking retarded.
  8050.  
  8051. 1745
  8052. 01:36:25,864 --> 01:36:27,032
  8053. You asshole!
  8054.  
  8055. 1746
  8056. 01:36:27,449 --> 01:36:29,368
  8057. Come here, you bastard.
  8058.  
  8059. 1747
  8060. 01:36:29,702 --> 01:36:30,786
  8061. (LAUGHING)
  8062.  
  8063. 1748
  8064. 01:36:31,203 --> 01:36:32,246
  8065. Ah!
  8066.  
  8067. 1749
  8068. 01:36:32,538 --> 01:36:33,914
  8069. Welcome back, Ted.
  8070.  
  8071. 1750
  8072. 01:36:36,625 --> 01:36:37,668
  8073. It was you.
  8074.  
  8075. 1751
  8076. 01:36:38,919 --> 01:36:39,962
  8077. YOU did it.
  8078.  
  8079. 1752
  8080. 01:36:40,421 --> 01:36:41,797
  8081. Son of a bitch!
  8082.  
  8083. 1753
  8084. 01:36:42,298 --> 01:36:43,966
  8085. You wished for
  8086. my life back.
  8087.  
  8088. 1754
  8089. 01:36:44,216 --> 01:36:46,510
  8090. No. No.
  8091.  
  8092. 1755
  8093. 01:36:46,719 --> 01:36:48,512
  8094. I wished for my life back.
  8095.  
  8096. 1756
  8097. 01:37:01,275 --> 01:37:02,318
  8098. I love you.
  8099.  
  8100. 1757
  8101. 01:37:02,735 --> 01:37:04,445
  8102. I love you, too.
  8103.  
  8104. 1758
  8105. 01:37:06,447 --> 01:37:09,325
  8106. And I want you to know that,
  8107. after last night
  8108.  
  8109. 1759
  8110. 01:37:09,408 --> 01:37:12,453
  8111. I don't ever want to lose anyone
  8112. who matters to me ever again.
  8113.  
  8114. 1760
  8115. 01:37:12,536 --> 01:37:14,830
  8116. I'm not going to wait any
  8117. longer for my life to start.
  8118.  
  8119. 1761
  8120. 01:37:15,831 --> 01:37:17,291
  8121. Lori,
  8122.  
  8123. 1762
  8124. 01:37:18,667 --> 01:37:20,169
  8125. will you marry me?
  8126.  
  8127. 1763
  8128. 01:37:21,837 --> 01:37:24,590
  8129. All I ever wanted
  8130. was you, John Bennett.
  8131.  
  8132. 1764
  8133. 01:37:29,678 --> 01:37:34,475
  8134. <i>NARRATOR: And so John, Lori and</i>
  8135. <i>Ted lived happily ever after.</i>
  8136.  
  8137. 1765
  8138. 01:37:34,767 --> 01:37:39,646
  8139. <i>Having discovered at last, that all</i>
  8140. <i>they really needed was each other.</i>
  8141.  
  8142. 1766
  8143. 01:37:41,982 --> 01:37:45,069
  8144. <i>John and Lori were</i>
  8145. <i>married in Cambridge</i>
  8146.  
  8147. 1767
  8148. 01:37:45,152 --> 01:37:48,447
  8149. <i>by a very special</i>
  8150. <i>Justice of the Peace.</i>
  8151.  
  8152. 1768
  8153. 01:37:49,114 --> 01:37:51,867
  8154. By the power vested in me
  8155.  
  8156. 1769
  8157. 01:37:51,950 --> 01:37:54,953
  8158. by the New York Jets
  8159.  
  8160. 1770
  8161. 01:37:55,079 --> 01:37:59,083
  8162. and by the united peoples
  8163. of the planet Mongo,
  8164.  
  8165. 1771
  8166. 01:37:59,208 --> 01:38:03,003
  8167. I now pronounce
  8168. you man and wife.
  8169.  
  8170. 1772
  8171. 01:38:03,087 --> 01:38:05,381
  8172. You may kiss the bride,
  8173. Johnny.
  8174.  
  8175. 1773
  8176. 01:38:09,051 --> 01:38:10,135
  8177. (CHEERING)
  8178.  
  8179. 1774
  8180. 01:38:23,899 --> 01:38:26,902
  8181. (MOUTHING)
  8182. Hi. Tom Skerritt.
  8183.  
  8184. 1775
  8185. 01:38:27,319 --> 01:38:28,821
  8186. (MOUTHING)
  8187. Tom Skerritt! Wow!
  8188.  
  8189. 1776
  8190. 01:38:29,279 --> 01:38:31,532
  8191. Thanks so much for coming.
  8192.  
  8193. 1777
  8194. 01:38:31,615 --> 01:38:34,827
  8195. My daughter better be alive,
  8196. you sick son of a bitch.
  8197.  
  8198. 1778
  8199. 01:38:35,994 --> 01:38:39,039
  8200. I am so fake-happy
  8201. for her.
  8202.  
  8203. 1779
  8204. 01:39:05,941 --> 01:39:09,278
  8205. You know, Sam, there's only
  8206. one way to end a perfect day.
  8207.  
  8208. 1780
  8209. 01:39:09,361 --> 01:39:10,320
  8210. What's that?
  8211.  
  8212. 1781
  8213. 01:39:10,404 --> 01:39:11,488
  8214. Flash jump.
  8215.  
  8216. 1782
  8217. 01:39:11,572 --> 01:39:13,198
  8218. Right.
  8219.  
  8220. 1783
  8221. 01:39:13,282 --> 01:39:16,285
  8222. BOTH: One, two, three!
  8223.  
  8224. 1784
  8225. 01:39:16,452 --> 01:39:18,704
  8226. Yeah!
  8227.  
  8228. 1785
  8229. 01:39:22,374 --> 01:39:26,128
  8230. <i>NARRATOR: And that's the story</i>
  8231. <i>of how one magical wish</i>
  8232.  
  8233. 1786
  8234. 01:39:26,211 --> 01:39:30,632
  8235. <i>forever changed the lives</i>
  8236. <i>of three very special friends.</i>
  8237.  
  8238. 1787
  8239. 01:39:31,049 --> 01:39:35,762
  8240. <i>Ted and Tami-Lynn continued their</i>
  8241. <i>torrid love affair for quite some time.</i>
  8242.  
  8243. 1788
  8244. 01:39:35,846 --> 01:39:39,141
  8245. <i>One afternoon, Ted was caught</i>
  8246. <i>behind the deli counter</i>
  8247.  
  8248. 1789
  8249. 01:39:39,224 --> 01:39:42,686
  8250. <i>eating potato salad off of</i>
  8251. <i>Tami-Lynn's bare bottom.</i>
  8252.  
  8253. 1790
  8254. 01:39:42,769 --> 01:39:46,190
  8255. <i>He was instantly</i>
  8256. <i>promoted to store manager.</i>
  8257.  
  8258. 1791
  8259. 01:39:46,565 --> 01:39:48,859
  8260. <i>Sam Jones moved</i>
  8261. <i>back to Hollywood</i>
  8262.  
  8263. 1792
  8264. 01:39:48,942 --> 01:39:51,528
  8265. <i>with the goal of</i>
  8266. <i>restarting his film career.</i>
  8267.  
  8268. 1793
  8269. 01:39:51,612 --> 01:39:53,530
  8270. <i>He currently</i>
  8271. <i>resides in Burbank</i>
  8272.  
  8273. 1794
  8274. 01:39:53,614 --> 01:39:55,574
  8275. <i>where he shares</i>
  8276. <i>a studio apartment</i>
  8277.  
  8278. 1795
  8279. 01:39:56,408 --> 01:39:57,910
  8280. <i>with his roommate,</i>
  8281. <i>Brandon Routh.</i>
  8282.  
  8283. 1796
  8284. 01:39:57,993 --> 01:40:01,705
  8285. <i>Remember Brandon Routh from</i>
  8286. <i>that God-awful Superman movie?</i>
  8287.  
  8288. 1797
  8289. 01:40:01,788 --> 01:40:03,248
  8290. <i>Jesus Christ!</i>
  8291.  
  8292. 1798
  8293. 01:40:03,332 --> 01:40:07,211
  8294. <i>Thanks for getting our hopes up</i>
  8295. <i>and taking a giant shit on us.</i>
  8296.  
  8297. 1799
  8298. 01:40:07,586 --> 01:40:10,797
  8299. <i>Rex was forced to give up</i>
  8300. <i>his pursuit of Lori.</i>
  8301.  
  8302. 1800
  8303. 01:40:10,881 --> 01:40:13,800
  8304. <i>Not long afterward, he fell</i>
  8305. <i>into a deep depression</i>
  8306.  
  8307. 1801
  8308. 01:40:13,884 --> 01:40:16,220
  8309. <i>and died of</i>
  8310. <i>Lou Gehrig's disease.</i>
  8311.  
  8312. 1802
  8313. 01:40:16,678 --> 01:40:19,181
  8314. <i>Donny was arrested</i>
  8315. <i>by Boston police</i>
  8316.  
  8317. 1803
  8318. 01:40:19,264 --> 01:40:22,017
  8319. <i>and charged with</i>
  8320. <i>kidnapping a plush toy.</i>
  8321.  
  8322. 1804
  8323. 01:40:22,100 --> 01:40:24,645
  8324. <i>The charges were dropped</i>
  8325. <i>when everyone realized</i>
  8326.  
  8327. 1805
  8328. 01:40:24,728 --> 01:40:27,231
  8329. <i>how completely stupid</i>
  8330. <i>that sounded.</i>
  8331.  
  8332. 1806
  8333. 01:40:27,689 --> 01:40:31,109
  8334. <i>Robert got a trainer, lost a</i>
  8335. <i>substantial amount of weight</i>
  8336.  
  8337. 1807
  8338. 01:40:31,193 --> 01:40:32,486
  8339. <i>and went on to become</i>
  8340.  
  8341. 1808
  8342. 01:40:32,569 --> 01:40:34,613
  8343. <i>Taylor Lautner.</i>
  8344.  
  8345. 1809
  8346. 01:40:34,813 --> 01:40:49,813
  8347. Please don't forget to rate this Subtitle in Subscene.com.
  8348. Thanks to www.yify-torrents.com for providing awesome qualty releases.
RAW Paste Data
We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the Cookies Policy. OK, I Understand
 
Top