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- I’m going to get a tattoo later tonight. A buddy of mine does cheap tattooing in his mom’s basement. Don’t worry; it’s totally legit. He’s not even really charging me anything; he just wants me to bring a joint for us to smoke before he gives me my permanent tattoo that will last forever. I can tell some of you think this is a bad idea, but I have confidence in him. What I want is a tattoo of a penis on my face. Not like a fancy, well illustrated cock, but like a crudely drawn, black outline of a rudimentary one, because then when I pass out at parties…nobody will think to draw penises on me ever again. I’ll have beat them to the punch, so in that way, the jokes on them.
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