Slackware

It's the sanest distro and will save the Linux world, soon.
When Poettering conquered all.
When pacman ate the final configuration.
When Canonical put spyware into everything.
When Gentoo compiled for the final day.
When Debian freezes forever.

Slackware will be there. As it always has been.
Obedient, stable, powerful, fast.
No bullshit.
No political agenda.
No chasing of fads that lead nowhere.
Longest experience in the Linux world.
Weathered the time with such a tiny team and almost nonexistent budget.
No branding, keeps software as it was intended, no xXxSephirothXxXHackeRxXxVegeta distro flavored patches.

Just clean old fun.
Always and forever.
Slackware.