R11:CO1 13.txt

真っ白だ。%K%P
Pure whiteness.

水蒸気に視界を奪われてしまったのだろうか。%K%P
Was it steam covering my field of vision?

違う、雪だ。%K%P
No, it was snow.

世界が一面雪に覆われている。%K%P
The entire surface of the world in front of me was concealed in a layer of snow.

こころ「　　あ　　れ　　　…　　…　　？」%K%P
W    h    a    t    ...   ...   ?

誰かが、私の腋の下に手を差し入れている。%K%P
I could feel someone's hands under my armpits.

仰向けのまま、私はズルズルと雪の上を引きずられていた。%K%P
Facing up toward the sky, I could see that my body was being dragged through the snow.

ついさっきまで、バスルームで温かい湯気に包まれていたのに、急に寒気が襲ってきた。%K%P
Up until just a few moments ago, I had been covered by the warm steam of the hot bath in the bathroom. But now, all of a sudden, I was hit with this gust of chilly air.

こころ「さ、寒いっ」%K%P
C, cold...

刺すような冷気。ブルッと身体が震える。力が入らない。%K%P
The cold pierced right through me. My entire body shook from the chill. I couldn't seem to gather up any of my strength.

誰？%K%P
Who?

私を引きずっているのは誰？%K%P
Who's dragging me across the snow?

こんな寒いところに連れ出すなんて。%K%P
Dragging me out into a place this cold...

殺されるっ！%K%P
The person's trying to kill me!

こころ「い……いやっ」%K%P
N... no...

私は、腋の下に差し込まれた手を振り払った。%K%P
I shook myself free from the hands underneath my arms.

途端に、支えを失った私は雪の上に大の字になってしまう。%K%P
And just like that, I lost my support and collapsed with my body sprawled across the snow.

こころ「た、たふへて……」%K%P
P, pheelp me...

唇が震えて、満足に喋れない。凍えそうだ。%K%P
My lips were shaking, and I couldn't even speak properly. They had frozen.

と、黄泉木が私を上からのぞき込んできた。%K%P
That was when Yomogi stood over me and looked down toward me.

キョトンとした顔をしている。%K%P
He had a blank look on his face.

こころ「よ、黄泉木さん？」%K%P
Y, Yomogi-san?

なんで黄泉木がいるんだろう。%K%P
Why is Yomogi here?

だが私の疑問などお構いなしで、黄泉木はまた私の身体に手を伸ばしてきた。%K%P
But he didn't pay any attention to my look of confusion, and once again stretched his arms toward me.

それから逃げるように、慌てて立ち上がる。%K%P
Scrambling to get away from him, I pushed myself up.

足下がおぼつかないのは、雪の上のせいだった。%K%P
But my foot couldn't get a proper grip because of the snow.

ズボッと足が雪の中に沈む。%K%P
With every step, my feet sunk deeper and deeper into it.

黄泉木「おい……」%K%P
Hey...

こころ「な、なにするのよ！」%K%P
W, what are you doing?!

私は黄泉木を睨みつけ、叫んだ。%K%P
I yelled out loud as I glared back at Yomogi.

黄泉木が私の方に手を伸ばしてくる。%K%P
His hands reached out toward me.

私はとっさにその手を振り払った。%K%P
I slapped those hands away immediately.

と、妙な違和感を覚えた。%K%P
That's when I noticed this strange, uncomfortable feeling.

なんだか、胸元が落ち着かない……。%K%P
For some reason, something didn't feel right around my chest....

こころ「…………」%K%P
......

いつもの締め付けが感じられない。私はそっと胸に触れてみた。%K%P
The usual feeling of support wasn't there. I touched my chest lightly.

ブラジャーが……ずれていた。%K%P
My bra... it's not on properly.

ホックが外れている。%K%P
It's unhooked.

こころ「ヘ、ヘヘヘヘンタイ！　痴漢！！　エロオヤジィィッ！！　とーへんぼくのおたんこなすーっ！！」%K%P
P, p-p-p-p-pervert! Molester! You filthy old man!! Big stupid oaf!!

慌てて胸元を押さえた。%K%P
I covered my chest with my hands in a panic.

こころ「あ、私を襲う気ね！？」%K%P
You, you were gonna molest me?!

こころ「どこに連れていくつもり！？」%K%P
Where were you going to take me?!

黄泉木はうんざりした顔になった。%K%P
An annoyed look appeared on Yomogi's face.

なんだか様子が変だ。%K%P
He was acting kind of weird.

彼は自らの背後の方へと顎をしゃくった。%K%P
He pointed his chin in the direction behind him.

黄泉木「小屋だよ」%K%P
To the cabin.

黄泉木「まだ死にたくないだろう？」%K%P
You don't want to die yet, right?

吹きつける雪の向こうに、見覚えのある小屋がうっすらと見えた。%K%P
Through the blowing snow, I recognized the faint image of the cabin.

避難小屋だ。１０ｍと離れていない。%K%P
It's the shelter cabin. I'm no more than ten meters away from it.

でも私は、スフィアにいたはず……。%K%P
But, I should be at SPHIA....

こころ「あれ？　もしかして、夢から覚めた……？」%K%P
Huh? Could it be... that I woke up from the dream...?

私の呟きを、すさまじい風の音がかき消した。%K%P
My quiet mutter disappeared in the sound of the fierce wind.

私は黄泉木の横をすり抜け、急いで小屋に飛び込んだ。%K%P
Pushing my way past Yomogi, I quickly made my way toward the cabin.

小屋の中に駆け込むと、ゆにと黛の姿があった。%K%P
When I ran inside the cabin, Yuni and Mayuzumi were both there.

やっぱり戻ってきたんだ。%K%P
So I really was back.

いや、夢から目覚めた、というべきだろう。%K%P
No, instead of saying that I was back, I should say that I had woken up from my dream.

黛は相変わらず、ストーブの前で毛布にくるまっている。%K%P
Mayuzumi was, as always, wrapped up in a blanket in front of the stove.

私を不審そうに一瞥し、軽く舌打ちした。%K%P
She clicked her tongue lightly in disdain as she looked at me with suspicion.

ゆにも、遠巻きに私を見ているだけだった。%K%P
Yuni, too, only looked at me from afar.

ゆに「大丈夫？」%K%P
Are you okay?

こころ「……はぁ……はぁ」%K%P
...haaaa... haaaa...

私は黙って首を振った。なんとか呼吸を整えようと努める。%K%P
I shook my head in silence, trying hard to catch my breath once again.

小屋の中の暖かい空気に、私は少しだけホッとした。%K%P
The warm air inside the cabin soothed me just a tiny bit.

裾から服の中に手を突っ込み、急いでブラをつけ直すことは忘れなかった。%K%P
But there was no way I would forget the one thing I needed to do. I pulled my hands from my skirt and reached into my shirt to fix my bra in a hurry.

ストーブの前まで行って、とりあえず手をかざす。%K%P
I made my way to the stove and held my hands up near it.

手は真っ赤になっていた。%K%P
My hands had turned bright red.

指先はほとんど感覚がない。%K%P
There was no feeling in my fingertips.

私はすっかり雪まみれだった。%K%P
I was covered in snow from head to toe.

髪までベチョベチョだ。%K%P
Even my hair was dripping wet.

悪戦苦闘しながら、雪を払っていく。%K%P
I brushed the snow off me as I struggled hard to endure this torment.

黛「ちょっと、あっち行ってよ」%K%P
Hey, go over there, will you?

こころ「…………」%K%P
......

黛に文句を言われたが、気にしている場合ではない。身体が凍えそうなのだ。%K%P
This isn't the time to worry about what she just said, since my body felt like it was completely frozen.

黛「フンッ」%K%P
Hmph!

無視していると、黛の方から場所を移動した。%K%P
When she realized I was ignoring her, she got up and moved to another spot.

ゆにが、小さなタオルを渡してくれた。%K%P
Yuni handed me a small towel.

それを無言で受け取り、濡れた髪を拭う。%K%P
I accepted it without a word and dried my wet hair.

黄泉木も小屋に入ってきて、扉を閉めた。%K%P
Yomogi had also made it back into the cabin, closing the door behind him.

彼は、説明してほしそうな顔で私を見た。%K%P
He looked straight at me, his face telling me that he wanted to hear an explanation.

だが結局なにも言わず、玄関前に立ったまま黙って雪を払う。%K%P
But in the end, he didn't say anything. He just stood quietly near the door and brushed the snow off of himself.

私だって、説明できるものなら説明したい。%K%P
If I could explain what had just happened, I would.

でも、私自身が一番わけがわからないのだから、どうしようもない。%K%P
But because I had absolutely no idea, there wasn't much I could do.

とりあえず、身体は元に戻っている。%K%P
Anyway, my body was now returning to normal.

私は心も身体も冬川こころに戻れたわけだ。%K%P
My heart and my body had also both returned to being those of Fuyukawa Kokoro.

でも、確かなのはそれだけだ。%K%P
But that's all I can be certain of for now.

こころ「…………」%K%P
......

もはや言葉も出ない。%K%P
No one said a single word.

何かとんでもなく不自然な現象が起きている。%K%P
It seems like something really strange had happened.

それは間違いない。%K%P
There's no mistake about that.

だがそれが何を意味しているのか、わからない。%K%P
But I don't know why everyone was so quiet.

ストーブの火にあたりながら、私は途方に暮れた。%K%P
I stood beside the stove, puzzled.

小屋に、気まずい沈黙が流れていた。%K%P
An uncomfortable silence filled the cabin.

誰も何も喋らない。%K%P
Nobody said a thing.

いつもだったら、ゆにが元気におどけて見せたりするはずなのに。%K%P
Normally, Yuni would be joking around energetically.

ゆにはシュンとした様子で、私の様子を窺っているだけだ。%K%P
But he just glanced at me with a sad look on his face.

こころ「あの、私、外でなにを？」%K%P
Umm, what... what was I doing outside?

誰にともなく聞いてみた。%K%P
I didn't direct the question at anyone in particular.

黛は無反応。%K%P
Mayuzumi didn't respond.

ゆにはうなだれている。%K%P
Yuni looked down at the floor.

黄泉木は私に対して、幽霊でも見るかのような表情を向けた。%K%P
Yomogi turned toward me and looked at me as if he was looking at a ghost.

だが、すぐに深刻な様子で唸った。%K%P
But soon, he groaned in a serious manner.

黄泉木「なるほど……」%K%P
I see...

うんうんと、ひとりでうなずいて納得している。%K%P
He stood there, nodding alone by himself as if he had just figured out something.

こころ「黄泉木さん、どういうことですか？」%K%P
Yomogi-san, what is it?

黄泉木「まあ、ちょっと待ってくれ」%K%P
Hmm, wait a second.

黄泉木は、頭を掻きながら考え込んでいる。%K%P
Yomogi scratched his head as he thought things over.

やがて、丸太の腰掛けに座ると、私の方に身を乗り出してきた。%K%P
Soon, he sat down on the wooden stool and pulled it toward me.

黄泉木「え～っと、きみは今、冬川さんなんだね？」%K%P
Let's see, you're Fuyukawa-san right now, right?

こころ「は……？」%K%P
Huh...?

こころ「当たり前じゃないですか」%K%P
Isn't it obvious?

黄泉木は言いにくそうにしている。%K%P
With hesitation in his voice, Yomogi continued.

黄泉木「いや、優希堂くんには説明したんだが……」%K%P
No, Yukidoh-kun did explain it to me, but...

黄泉木「もう一度繰り返した方がいいかな？」%K%P
Can you go through it one more time?

こころ「優希堂……！？」%K%P
Yukidoh...?!

聞いた名だ。%K%P
I've heard that name before.

夢に出てきた名前。%K%P
The name that appeared in my dream.

こころ「それって、優希堂悟のこと？」%K%P
Are you talking about Yukidoh Satoru?

黄泉木「ああ、そうだ」%K%P
Yeah, that's right.

黄泉木「きみのなかのもうひとりの人格、彼のことだよ」%K%P
It's about him, the other personality inside of you.

私は頭がクラクラした。%K%P
My head felt dizzy.

立っていられなくて、黄泉木と向かい合うように腰を降ろす。%K%P
Unable to stand up any longer, I sat down across from Yomogi.

もしかして、またＤＩＤって言われるんじゃないだろうか。%K%P
Could he be talking about me suffering from DID again?

黄泉木「だが、きみは優希堂くんのことは知らないんじゃなかったかな？」%K%P
But, you don't know about Yukidoh-kun, do you?

こころ「ええ。知らない……」%K%P
Yeah. I don't know him...

こころ「知らないけど……知ってるの……」%K%P
I don't know him... but at the same time, I do...

我ながら変な表現だった。%K%P
A really strange thing to say.

でも、そうとしか言いようがない。%K%P
And yet, that was really the only way I could describe it.

黄泉木「まあいい」%K%P
All right, that's fine.

黄泉木「とにかくきみは、もう察していると思うが、ついさっきまでは彼だったんだよ」%K%P
Anyhow, I think you should have realized it by now, but you were him until just a few moments ago.

黄泉木「ＤＩＤって知ってるかな？」%K%P
Do you know what DID is?

ああ、やっぱり。%K%P
Ah, I knew it.

ついついため息が漏れる。%K%P
I couldn't help but let out a sigh.

こころ「乖離性同一性障害」%K%P
Dissociative Identity Disorder.

黄泉木「そう」%K%P
That's right.

黄泉木「きみは墜落のショックから、多重人格となってしまったようだ」%K%P
You seem to have developed multiple personalities due to the shock from the crash.

私は、まだ夢を見ているのだろうか。%K%P
Was I dreaming again?

この避難小屋も、夢なのだろうか。%K%P
Was this shelter cabin a dream too?

ということは、スフィアにいたのが現実ということ？%K%P
If that was the case, was the time I spent at SPHIA the reality?

でも、私は女だ。%K%P
But, I'm a woman!

絶対に、女だ。%K%P
I'm absolutely, 100% a woman!

私がムッとした顔をしているのに気づいたのか、黄泉木は慌てて言い訳をした。%K%P
Perhaps realizing from the look on my face that I was getting angrier and angrier, Yomogi quickly explained.

黄泉木「いや、僕にも信じられないんだが、彼がそう言うもんでね」%K%P
Well, I don't really believe it either, but that's what he said.

黄泉木が目配せした相手は、ゆにだった。%K%P
The person Yomogi was looking at... was Yuni.

こころ「ゆにが？」%K%P
Yuni did?

ゆに「…………」%K%P
......

こんな少年が、どうしてＤＩＤという専門知識を知っているのか。%K%P
Why would a young boy like him have such expert knowledge about DID?

ゆには何か知っているのだろうか。%K%P
Does he know something?

ゆにに目で訴えたが、彼は説明しようとしなかった。%K%P
I looked at him, questioning him with my eyes, but he didn't give me an explanation.

仕方ない、ゆにのことはひとまず置いておこう。%K%P
There was nothing I could do, so I left him alone.

それなりに状況は呑み込めてきた。%K%P
I got the gist of what had happened.

私が本当にＤＩＤかどうかはともかくとして。%K%P
I'll worry later about whether I'm really suffering from DID or not.

こころ「でも、どうして私は――ううん、優希堂悟は、外に？」%K%P
But, why was I――no, why was Yukidoh Satoru out there?

ゆに「逃げ出そうとしたんだよ、きっと」%K%P
Most likely trying to escape.

ゆに「彼はぼくの話を信じなかったんじゃないかなぁ？」%K%P
I wonder if it's because he didn't believe what I had said...

ゆに「自分がこころんの中に生まれた別人格に過ぎないという事実を、認めたくなかったんだと思う」%K%P
I think he didn't want to admit he was, in reality, nothing more than an alternate personality born inside of Kokoron.

ドキッとした。%K%P
My heart skipped a beat.

ゆにの、すべて知っているかのような口ぶり。%K%P
The way Yuni spoke... it was as if he knew everything.

彼は、やっぱり――%K%P
Just as I thought, he――

黛「いい加減にしろっ！」%K%P
Enough of this!

いきなり、苛立った様子で黛が叫んだ。%K%P
Suddenly, Mayuzumi yelled out in frustration.

毛布をはね飛ばして、勢いよく立ち上がる。%K%P
Flinging off her blanket, she jumped up to her feet.

もの凄い形相で睨まれた。%K%P
She glared at me with her eyes wide open.

黛「その子の嘘にいつまで踊らされてるつもり！？」%K%P
How long are you planning on being led around by this girl's lies?

私が嘘をついていると言いたいらしい。%K%P
Looks like she's trying to say I'm making this all up.

こころ「私、べつに嘘なんて……」%K%P
I'm not lying or anything...

黛「うるさいっ！」%K%P
Shut up!

黛「私はあんたの思い通りにはならないわ！」%K%P
I'm not gonna be played by you like this!

今にも私に殴りかかってきそうな勢いだ。%K%P
She looked as if she was going to hit me at any moment.

黛のあまりの剣幕に、私はたじろいてしまった。%K%P
Her eyes looked so angry they made me take a couple of steps back from her.

黄泉木「なあ、教えてくれないか？」%K%P
Then why don't you tell me?

黄泉木はタバコに火をつけた。%K%P
Yomogi lit his cigarette.

一度紫煙を吐き出し、タバコを持つ手を黛へと向ける。%K%P
Taking a puff, he pointed toward Mayuzumi with the hand holding the cigarette.

黄泉木「どうして嘘だと思うんだ？」%K%P
Tell me, why do you think she's lying?

黛は虚を衝かれたようにビクリとした。%K%P
That caught Mayuzumi off guard.

黛「それは……」%K%P
Because...

黄泉木「それは？」%K%P
Because?

黛「…………」%K%P
......

唇を噛んで押し黙ってしまう。%K%P
Biting her lip, she fell silent.

黄泉木「なにか理由があるのか？」%K%P
Do you have your own reasons to suspect she's lying?

黛「なんであんたに言わなくちゃいけないのよ」%K%P
Why the hell should I tell you?!

黄泉木「知っているなら教えてもらわないとな。気になって眠れやしない」%K%P
If you know something and I don't convince you to share it with me, it'll bother me so much that I won't be able to sleep.

黛「私は、あんたの安眠のためにいるんじゃないわ！」%K%P
I'm not here to help you sleep!

黄泉木は苦笑しつつ、タバコをふかした。%K%P
Yomogi chuckled as he took another puff.

黄泉木「僕はきみ達のことがさっぱり理解できない」%K%P
I don't understand you two at all.

黄泉木「僕の知らないところではいろいろ起きてるみたいだが」%K%P
Looks like there's a lot going on that I don't know. But...

それは私にしても同じ気持ちだった。%K%P
I felt the same way too.

説明してほしいのは私の方だ。%K%P
I needed someone to explain what was going on.

黄泉木「黛、さっきのきみは優希堂悟のことを知ってるような口振りだったな」%K%P
Mayuzumi, just now, you spoke almost as if you knew who Yukidoh Satoru was.

黄泉木「冬川さん……いや、優希堂くんも黛のことを知っているようだった」%K%P
Fuyukawa-san... no, I mean Yukidoh-kun, seems to know about Mayuzumi too.

黄泉木「さっきはしてたが、本当にふたりとも知り合いじゃないのか？」%K%P
You denied it just now, but you two really know each other, don't you?

また『さっき』……。%K%P
Again with that "just now"....

さっきって、いつ？%K%P
What exactly did he mean when he said "just now"?

混乱する私を、黄泉木が見つめてくる。%K%P
Yomogi looked straight at me, who was getting even more confused.

私は黙って首を振った。%K%P
I quietly shook my head.

黛と逢ったのは、この小屋が最初だ。%K%P
The first time I had ever met Mayuzumi was in this cabin.

黄泉木「黛は？」%K%P
How about you, Mayuzumi?

黛「少なくとも、その女とは知り合いじゃないわ！」%K%P
No ― at least, definitely not this girl!

黄泉木「少なくとも、ということは、優希堂くんとは知り合いなのか？」%K%P
At least? So does that mean you do know Yukidoh-kun?

黛「…………」%K%P
......

黛「か、関係ないでしょ！」%K%P
I, I don't see what business that is of yours!

黛「バカらしい。付き合ってられないわ」%K%P
This is so stupid. I'm not talking to you guys anymore.

黛は、優希堂悟という人物を知っている。%K%P
Mayuzumi did know the person named Yukidoh Satoru.

彼女の態度は、そう物語っていた。%K%P
Her reactions said it loud and clear.

ふたりがどのような関係かはわからないけれど。%K%P
I didn't know what kind of relationship the two of them had.

黛が怒っていることだけは確かだ。%K%P
But one thing was certain: it was something Mayuzumi was angry about.

このままでは、ギクシャクした関係になってしまう。%K%P
As things stand now, it had already gotten quite awkward between us.

みんなで力を合わせて頑張っていかなければならないのに、あまりよくない空気になりつつある。%K%P
We were supposed to be coming together and doing our best to make it through this, but now the atmosphere in the cabin had gotten worse.

私は黛に……%K%p
So I'll...

謝る
Apologize

悟との関係を問い詰める
Press her harder about her relationship with Satoru

こころ「あの、黛さん……」%K%P
Umm, Mayuzumi-san...

黛「なによ！」%K%P
What?!

私は、深々と頭を下げた。%K%P
I bowed my head deeply.

こころ「ごめんなさい」%K%P
I'm sorry.

黛「…………」%K%P
......

こころ「あなたを、怒らせちゃったみたい」%K%P
It looks like I really made you angry.

こころ「でも信じてください」%K%P
But please believe me.

こころ「私は嘘はついてないし、あなたをからかっているわけでもないんです」%K%P
I'm not lying, and I'm not trying to make a fool of you either.

黛「…………」%K%P
......

黛は、うさんくさそうな目で私を見ていた。%K%P
Mayuzumi looked at me with suspicion in her eyes.

黄泉木「冬川さんが謝ってるんだ。ここは仲直りといこうじゃないか」%K%P
Since Fuyukawa-san has apologized, why not go ahead and make up now?

黄泉木が仲介してくれた。%K%P
Yomogi tried to play the peacekeeper.

でも黛は、鼻を鳴らして私に背を向けた。%K%P
But Mayuzumi just let out a snort of contempt and started walking away from me.

黛「謝るくらいなら、はじめから変なこと言うんじゃないわよ」%K%P
If you're going to apologize, you shouldn't have just said those strange things in the first place.

こころ「あの、黛さん」%K%P
Umm, Mayuzumi-san.

黛「なによ！」%K%P
What!

私は黛に詰め寄った。%K%P
I followed behind her.

こころ「あなた、知ってるんですね？」%K%P
You know, don't you?

黛「なにをよ！」%K%P
Know what?!

こころ「優希堂悟という人物のことです！」%K%P
You know about this person named Yukidoh Satoru!

こころ「教えてください」%K%P
Please tell me.

こころ「彼はなにものなんですか？　どこにいる人なんですか？　実在するんですよね！？」%K%P
Just who is he? And where is he? He's real, isn't he?!

黛の顔つきが険しくなる。%K%P
The look on her face grew darker and darker.

それでも私は、聞かずにはいられなかった。%K%P
But in spite of that, I had to get it out of her.

こころ「なんで私は、その男のことを知ってるんですか！？　なんで――」%K%P
Why do I know him?! Why――

いきなりビンタされた。%K%P
Suddenly, a slap flew across my face.

私の頬が、ひりひりと熱を帯びる。%K%P
A hot, burning sensation floated up to my cheeks.

黛「憲法３８条１項：何人も、自己に不利益な供述を強要されない」%K%P
Article 38, Paragraph 1 of the Constitution: No person shall be compelled to testify against himself.

黛「黙秘権くらい知ってるでしょ。あんたに言う必要なんてないの」%K%P
You do know about the right to remain silent, don't you? I have no need to tell you anything.

黄泉木「お、おい、黛……」%K%P
H, hey, Mayuzumi...

黛「うるさいっ！」%K%P
Shut up!

黛「そんなことよりも、あんた、早くご飯の準備しなさいよ！　ったく、どんくさいわね」%K%P
And instead of bothering me, you should be making dinner! Hop to it! Geez, what a moron!

黛は黄泉木を指差し、八つ当たり気味に言い放った。%K%P
She pointed at Yomogi as she vented her anger at him with those words.

黛「こっちは、もうお腹ペコペコなのよ！」%K%P
I'm starving over here!

黄泉木「あ、ああ、そうだったな。メシがまだだった」%K%P
Ah, right. We haven't had anything to eat yet.

黄泉木「黛も腹が減ってるからイライラするんだよな」%K%P
I bet that's the reason Mayuzumi is so irritated.

黄泉木「よしっ、とっととメシにしよう」%K%P
All right, let's make something to eat already.

黄泉木「お湯も沸いてるみたいだしな」%K%P
The water looks like it's already boiling.

ストーブの上のアルミ鍋を見ながら黄泉木は言った。%K%P
He said as he glanced at the aluminum pot sitting on top of the stove.

アルミ鍋からは白い湯気が立ち上っていた。%K%P
White steam rose up from the aluminum pot.

ゆに「今日は何食べるの？」%K%P
So what are we having today?

非常食の入った段ボール箱の中を覗き込みながら、ゆにが訊いてきた。%K%P
Yuni asked as he peeked into the cardboard box where all the emergency rations were kept.

黄泉木「そうだな……」%K%P
Yeah, I wonder...

しばらく黄泉木は考え込み……%K%P
Yomogi thought about it for a while. Then...

黄泉木「みんなは何を食べたい？」%K%P
What does everyone want to eat?

そう尋ねてきた。%K%p
He inquired of us.

シチュー
Stew

お粥
Rice Porridge

中華丼
Chuuka-don (Chinese-style rice bowl)

こころ・ゆに・黛「シチュー」%K%P
Stew!

３人の声は綺麗にハモった。%K%P
All three of us said in perfect unison.

黄泉木「満場一致かぁ。実は僕もシチューが食べたいと思ってたんだ」%K%P
A unanimous decision, huh? Actually, I was just thinking how much I wanted to have some stew as well.

黄泉木「やっぱり最初のメシくらいは美味いものが食べたいよなぁ～」%K%P
Just as I thought, the first meal we eat should be something delicious～

ウムウムとうなずきながら、黄泉木は段ボールの中からシチューのパックを４食分取り出した。%K%P
As he nodded his head and muttered "mmm mmm," Yomogi took out four servings of stew from the cardboard boxes.

黄泉木「じゃあ、みんなはお碗を準備してくれ」%K%P
Okay then, everyone get their bowls ready.

私達はいそいそとお碗とスプーンを段ボールから取り出しにかかった。%K%P
We quickly took the bowls and spoons out of the cardboard boxes.

しかし、不思議なこともあるものだ。%K%P
But this, it really was kind of incredible.

４人の意見が見事に合致するなんて。%K%P
The fact the four of us all agreed on what to eat.

まるで、私が『シチューが食べたい』と考えた瞬間に、みんなにその意志が伝播したかのようだった。%K%P
It was as if the moment I had decided "I want to eat some stew," that thought was broadcast to everyone else.

いや……あるいは、こうも考えられるかも知れない。%K%P
No... maybe we can think of it another way.

――最初から、みんなの意志は決まっていた。%K%P
――From the very beginning, everyone's decisions have already been determined.

いや、ちょっと違うな……私は運命論者じゃない。%K%P
No, that's not exactly it either... I'm not the type to believe in fate.

そんなの夢がない。ロマンティックじゃない。%K%P
I don't believe in that kind of dream. I'm just not that kind of a romantic.

では、こう考えてみよう。%K%P
Maybe you can try thinking of it like this.

――みんなは、何か見えざる存在によって意志を決定された。%K%P
――Everyone's decisions were all made by some kind of unseen existence.

…………。%K%P
.......

バカげている。そんなことあるわけないじゃないか。%K%P
Yeah, right. I'm such an idiot. There's no way something like that would happen.

それに、ちっともロマンティックじゃないじゃない。%K%P
But that does sound just a bit romantic, doesn't it?

私はその妙な考えを振り払って、黄泉木から渡された『シチューの素』をお碗の中に入れた。%K%P
As I tried to shake off these strange ideas, I put the stew ingredients Yomogi had handed to me into my bowl.

こころ・ゆに・黛「お粥」%K%P
Rice porridge!

３人の声は綺麗にハモった。%K%P
All three of us said in perfect unison.

黄泉木「満場一致かぁ。実は僕もお粥が食べたいと思ってたんだ」%K%P
A unanimous decision, huh? Actually, I was just thinking how much I wanted to have some rice porridge as well.

黄泉木「いろいろあって疲れたから、あっさりしたものが食べたいよなぁ～」%K%P
I'm so tired from all that's happened, I really want to eat something that's easy to make～

ウムウムとうなずきながら、黄泉木は段ボールの中からお粥のパックを４食分取り出した。%K%P
As he nodded his head and muttered "mmm mmm," Yomogi took out four servings of rice porridge from the cardboard boxes.

黄泉木「じゃあ、みんなはお碗を準備してくれ」%K%P
Okay then, everyone get their bowls ready.

私達はいそいそとお碗とスプーンを段ボールから取り出しにかかった。%K%P
We quickly took the bowls and spoons out of the cardboard boxes.

しかし、不思議なこともあるものだ。%K%P
But this, it really was kind of incredible.

４人の意見が見事に合致するなんて。%K%P
The fact the four of us all agreed on what to eat.

まるで、私が『お粥が食べたい』と考えた瞬間に、みんなにその意志が伝播したかのようだった。%K%P
It's as if the moment I had decided "I want to eat some rice porridge," that thought was broadcast to everyone else.

いや……あるいは、こうも考えられるかも知れない。%K%P
No... maybe we can think of it another way.

――最初から、みんなの意志は決まっていた。%K%P
――From the very beginning, everyone's decisions have already been determined.

いや、ちょっと違うな……私は運命論者じゃない。%K%P
No, that's not exactly it either... I'm not the type to believe in fate.

そんなの夢がない。ロマンティックじゃない。%K%P
I don't believe in that kind of dream. I'm just not that kind of a romantic.

では、こう考えてみよう。%K%P
Maybe you can try thinking of it like this.

――みんなは、何か見えざる存在によって意志を決定された。%K%P
――Everyone's decisions were all made by some kind of unseen existence.

…………。%K%P
.......

バカげている。そんなことあるわけないじゃないか。%K%P
Yeah, right. I'm such an idiot. There's no way something like that would happen.

それに、ちっともロマンティックじゃないじゃない。%K%P
But that does sound just a bit romantic, doesn't it?

私はその妙な考えを振り払って、黄泉木から渡された『お粥の素』をお碗の中に入れた。%K%P
As I tried to shake off these strange ideas, I put the ingredients for the rice porridge Yomogi had handed to me into my bowl.

こころ・ゆに・黛「中華丼」%K%P
Chuuka-don!

３人の声は綺麗にハモった。%K%P
All three of us said in perfect unison.

黄泉木「満場一致かぁ。実は僕も中華丼が食べたいと思ってたんだ」%K%P
A unanimous decision, huh? Actually, I was just thinking how much I wanted to have some chuuka-don as well.

黄泉木「なんだかよくわからないけど、無性に中華丼が食べたい気分なんだよなぁ～」%K%P
I don't quite understand it myself, but I'm really in the mood for chuuka-don～

ウムウムとうなずきながら、黄泉木は段ボールの中から中華丼のパックを４食分取り出した。%K%P
As he nodded his head and muttered "mmm mmm," Yomogi took out four servings of chuuka-don from the cardboard boxes.

黄泉木「じゃあ、みんなはお碗を準備してくれ」%K%P
Okay then, everyone get their bowls ready.

私達はいそいそとお碗とスプーンを段ボールから取り出しにかかった。%K%P
We quickly took the bowls and spoons out of the cardboard boxes.

しかし、不思議なこともあるものだ。%K%P
But this, it really was kind of incredible.

４人の意見が見事に合致するなんて。%K%P
The fact the four of us all agreed on what to eat.

まるで、私が『お粥が食べたい』と考えた瞬間に、みんなにその意志が伝播したかのようだった。%K%P
It's as if the moment I had decided "I want to eat some chuuka-don," that thought was broadcast to everyone else.

いや……あるいは、こうも考えられるかも知れない。%K%P
No... maybe we can think of it another way.

――最初から、みんなの意志は決まっていた。%K%P
――From the very beginning, everyone's decisions have already been determined.

いや、ちょっと違うな……私は運命論者じゃない。%K%P
No, that's not exactly it either... I'm not the type to believe in fate.

そんなの夢がない。ロマンティックじゃない。%K%P
I don't believe in that kind of dream. I'm just not that kind of a romantic.

では、こう考えてみよう。%K%P
Maybe you can try thinking of it like this.

――みんなは、何か見えざる存在によって意志を決定された。%K%P
――Everyone's decisions were all made by some kind of unseen existence.

…………。%K%P
.......

バカげている。そんなことあるわけないじゃないか。%K%P
Yeah, right. I'm such an idiot. There's no way something like that would happen.

それに、ちっともロマンティックじゃないじゃない。%K%P
But that does sound just a bit romantic, doesn't it?

私はその妙な考えを振り払って、黄泉木から渡された『中華丼の素』をお碗の中に入れた。%K%P
As I tried to shake off these strange ideas, I put the ingredients for the chuuka-don Yomogi had handed to me into my bowl.

こころ「ところで……」%K%P
Oh, by the way....

熱々のシチューを口に運びながら、ふと私は尋ねた。%K%P
I asked suddenly as I brought the warm stew to my lips.

熱々のお粥を口に運びながら、ふと私は尋ねた。%K%P
I asked suddenly as I brought the warm rice porridge to my lips.

熱々の中華丼を口に運びながら、ふと私は尋ねた。%K%P
I asked suddenly as I brought the warm chuuka-don to my lips.

こころ「あの新聞って、どうなったんですか？」%K%P
Whatever happened to that newspaper article?

黛「！？」%K%P
?!

黄泉木「！？」%K%P
?!

ゆに「…………」%K%P
......

私のひと言で、なごみかけていた場が凍りついた。%K%P
And with that single question, the atmosphere that had thawed froze once again.

こころ「あ……」%K%P
Ah...

触れてはイケナイことだったかもしれない。%K%P
I may have said something I shouldn't have.

だいいち、私もあんな新聞のことなんて考えたくもなかったのに。%K%P
But I didn't even want to think about that newspaper article in the first place.

なんで、そんなことを言い出したのだろう？%K%P
So why did I ask a question like that?

違和感を覚える。%K%P
It feels so strange.

不思議に思える。%K%P
So unbelievable.

またしても、何か見えざる存在とやらを意識してしまう。%K%P
Once again, I'd become conscious of an existence I couldn't see.

黛「…………」%K%P
......

黛を見ると、彼女は食事の手を止め、カタカタとお碗とスプーンをかち合わせている。%K%P
When I looked up at Mayuzumi, the hand she was eating with had stopped cold, and the spoon she was holding clattered against her bowl.

震えているのだ。%K%P
She was shaking.

黄泉木「新聞なら、あそこの棚に置いてあるよ」%K%P
If you want that newspaper article, we put it on that shelf.

見ると確かに新聞はそこにあった。%K%P
I looked over, and sure enough, there it was.

ただし、それは私が前に見た時とは、まったく様子が変わっていた。%K%P
But it seemed really different from the last time I had seen it.

ツギハギだらけ――つまりは、一度ビリビリに引き裂かれたあとにテープで繋ぎ合わされていた。%K%P
It seemed like it was patched up messily――in other words, it had been taped together after having been ripped to pieces before.

黄泉木「ああ、きみは覚えてないのか……」%K%P
Ah, you don't remember...

黄泉木「きみが破いた新聞を、きみが優希堂くんになった時に、みんなで元通りに直したんだよ」%K%P
That newspaper article you tore up... when you became Yukidoh-kun, we all fixed it up to how it was before.

こころ「破いた？　私が？」%K%P
Tore it up? I did?

黄泉木「それも覚えてないのかい？」%K%P
You don't remember that either?

こころ「ええ……」%K%P
Yes...

確かに私は新聞を見た瞬間、ショックのあまり破り捨てようとした。%K%P
It's true that the moment I read the newspaper article, I really was destroyed by the shock.

力を込めたところまでは覚えている。%K%P
I do remember using my strength to do something.

だけど、実際に破いただろうか？%K%P
But, did I really rip it?

破いたかも知れない。%K%P
Maybe I did, after all.

破かなかったかも知れない%K%P
I wasn't too sure whether I had ripped it or not.

その部分だけ記憶が曖昧だった。%K%P
That part of my memory seemed so vague.

なにせあの時は、頭の中が真っ白になっていたから……。%K%P
Especially because at that exact moment, my head had gone completely blank....

黄泉木「まあ、いいだろう。きみのそういうところにはもう慣れた」%K%P
Well, it's fine. I'm already used to you being like that.

こころ「…………」%K%P
......

黄泉木「新聞のことは、気にしない方がいい」%K%P
I think it would be best not to pay any attention to that newspaper article.

黄泉木「あんなものは……ただの悪戯だろう」%K%P
That thing... is probably just someone's idea of a prank.

唸るようにして黄泉木は言った。%K%P
Yomogi said, his voice almost a groan.

黄泉木「そうとしか考えられない」%K%P
That's the only thing I can think of to explain it.

ゆに「…………」%K%P
......

黛「なんでよっ、なんでそんな風に簡単に言い切れるのよ！」%K%P
What the hell, how can you be so easily certain about that?

黛はお碗をテーブルに叩きつけた。%K%P
Mayuzumi slammed her bowl on the table.

今までずっと堪えていたものが爆発したかのようだった。%K%P
As if something she had been holding in until now suddenly exploded within her.

黛「悪戯なわけないじゃない！」%K%P
How can it possibly be a prank?!

黛「悪戯だったとしたら、あの新聞を作った奴はＨＡＬ１８便が墜落したことを予め知ってたってことになるのよ！」%K%P
If it was a prank, then the guy who made this newspaper article would have had to predict the crash of HAL18!

黛「私達４人が助かることも、この避難小屋へたどりつくことも、全部ぜんぶ知ってたことになるのよ！」%K%P
The four of us surviving, us making it to this shelter cabin, that guy would have to know all of this!

黛「予言者？　予知能力者？　それとも%TS009ラプラスの悪魔%TEかしら？」%K%P
A prophet? Or perhaps someone who can predict the future? Or maybe even %TS009Laplace's demon%TE?

黄泉木「黛……」%K%P
Mayuzumi...

黛「そもそも悪戯する理由は？　私達を脅かす理由は？」%K%P
And what reason would anyone have for playing such a prank in the first place? Why threaten us like this?

黄泉木「黛、落ち着け……」%K%P
Mayuzumi, calm down...

黛「どっかでカメラでも回ってるっていうの？」%K%P
Is he following us around with his camera right now, then?

黛「『元祖ビックリカメラ』とか書かれたプラカード持ったオッサンが、そのうち出てくるっていうの？」%K%P
Is some guy going to pop out suddenly and say "you're on Candid Camera"?

黛「バカバカしい！」%K%P
This is all just idiotic!

黄泉木を睨みながら、黛は吐き捨てた。%K%P
Mayuzumi snapped as she stared at Yomogi.

黄泉木「落ち着け、黛」%K%P
Calm down, Mayuzumi!

黄泉木「きみの言ってることは支離滅裂だ。この新聞は本物なのか？　偽物なのか？」%K%P
You're not making sense. So do you think this newspaper is real? Or do you think it's fake?

黛「――っ！」%K%P
――――!

黛「そ、それは……」%K%P
W, well...

途端に黛は言葉を失う。%K%P
Mayuzumi went quiet all of a sudden.

それはそうだろう。%K%P
I guess that's a natural reaction.

新聞が本物だとしたら、私達３人は死んでしまうのだ。%K%P
If the newspaper article is real, that means the three of us have already died.

６日後の１月１７日に……。%K%P
Six days later, on January 17th....

本物だと信じることは、すなわち自らの死を受け入れることになる。%K%P
To believe that the newspaper article is real is the same as accepting our deaths.

偽物だとは考えられない。%K%P
It's not that she believes it's fake.

だが、本物だとも考えたくない。%K%P
It's just that she doesn't want to believe it's real, either.

黛の中の葛藤が、手に取るように私にはわかった。%K%P
I can understand the conflict within Mayuzumi very clearly.

黄泉木「なあ、黛」%K%P
Well then, Mayuzumi.

黄泉木「仮にだ、あの新聞が悪戯じゃないとしよう」%K%P
Suppose we say the newspaper article isn't a prank.

黄泉木「悪戯じゃないとしたら、それで説明がつくのか？」%K%P
If it isn't a prank, then can you explain it?

黛「…………」%K%P
......

黄泉木「訳のわからないことには変わりないだろう？」%K%P
It still can't be explained, right?

黄泉木「未来の新聞が、どうしてこんなところにあるんだ？」%K%P
Why is a newspaper article from the future in a place like this?

黄泉木「堂々巡りだ」%K%P
We're just going around in circles.

黄泉木「考えたってしょうがない」%K%P
Even if we think about it, we won't get anywhere.

黄泉木「結論が出るわけではない」%K%P
There's no way to come to a conclusion about it.

黄泉木「だったら、忘れようじゃないか」%K%P
And if that's the case, we might as well forget about it, right?

黛「…………」%K%P
......

黄泉木「いいかい？　こう考えるんだ」%K%P
Does that sound good? Just think of it like this.

黄泉木「これは、どう解釈したって同じことなんだ」%K%P
No matter how we explain this, the result is the same.

黄泉木「どのみち説明のつかないことなんだ」%K%P
Because it's not something that can be explained, no matter what we do.

黄泉木「だったら……都合のいいように捉えるんだ」%K%P
If so... then let's just think positively.

黄泉木「あの新聞はただの悪戯で……」%K%P
That the newspaper article is just a prank...

黄泉木「僕達は必ず生きて帰れる、と」%K%P
And all of us will make it back alive for sure.

黄泉木「それでいいじゃないか」%K%P
Isn't that better than worrying about it?

黛「…………」%K%P
......

黄泉木「な？」%K%P
Right?

黛「……わかった」%K%P
...Got it.

黛「忘れるわ……」%K%P
I'll forget about it...

黄泉木「よし」%K%P
Good.

黄泉木「みんなも、それでいいよな？」%K%P
Everyone else too, is that okay with you?

こころ「ええ」%K%P
Okay.

ゆに「うん」%K%P
Yep.

私達ふたりはうなずいた。%K%P
Both of us nodded.

私も黄泉木と同じ考えだった。%K%P
I, too, felt the same as Yomogi.

嫌なことなら、忘れてしまえ。%K%P
If it's something bad, then we might as well forget about it.

ある意味、これまでの人生の中で得た『最強の防具』のひとつだった。%K%P
In some ways, that's one of the "strongest defense mechanisms" that I have learned in life so far.

たぶん、ゆにも私と同じように考えてくれたのだと思う。%K%P
Yuni probably thinks so, too.

とにかく、よかった。%K%P
Anyway, I'm glad.

一時はどうなるかと思ったけど、これでひとまず、みんなの混乱は収まった。%K%P
I was worried about how bad the situation was going to get, but for now at least everyone's panic has subsided.

気味の悪い情報に踊らされることはなくなった。%K%P
The panic that had been stirred up by that creepy piece of newspaper has now disappeared.

忘れよう。%K%P
As if forgotten.

それで、いい。%K%P
And that's good enough.

黛「ご飯も食べ終わったことだし、寝るわ」%K%P
I've finished eating dinner, so I'm going to bed.

黛はそう呟くと、毛布を拾い上げて２段ベッドの上段にのぼっていってしまった。%K%P
Mayuzumi muttered as she picked up her blanket and made her way to the top bunk.

先ほど黛がテーブルに叩きつけたお碗の中身はカラッポだった。%K%P
The bowl she had slammed on the table just a while ago was completely empty.

………………。%K%P
..........

しばらくして、私達もささやかな食事を終えた。%K%P
After a while, the rest of us finished our humble meals as well.

黄泉木「さて、と」%K%P
Well, then.

黄泉木は、携帯灰皿を取り出してタバコをもみ消し、立ち上がった。%K%P
After taking out his portable ashtray and putting out his cigarette, Yomogi stood up.

黄泉木「今日はもう遅い」%K%P
It's getting much too late already.

黄泉木「火を絶やさないようにして、交代で眠ろう」%K%P
To make sure the fire doesn't go out, we should take turns sleeping.

黄泉木「まずは僕が見張りをするから」%K%P
I'll take the first shift.

こころ「でも……」%K%P
But...

黄泉木「いいから」%K%P
It's okay.

黄泉木「きみも寝なさい」%K%P
You should get some sleep as well.

こころ「…………」%K%P
......

私はのろのろと立ち上がった。%K%P
Slowly, I stood up.

右手にはめた時計を見てみる。%K%P
I caught a glimpse of the watch on my right wrist.

時間はすでに深夜に近かった。%K%P
It was already approaching midnight.

ゆに「ね、ねえ」%K%P
H, hey...

私の手を、ゆにが引っ張った。%K%P
Yuni tugged on my hand.

ゆには、捨て猫のような目で私を見上げてきた。%K%P
He looked up at me with eyes like an abandoned kitten's.

ゆに「こころん……」%K%P
Kokoron...

ゆに「一緒に、寝てくれる？」%K%P
Can we... sleep together?

私はなんとか微笑みを作った。%K%P
I couldn't help but smile gently at him.

こころ「そうね」%K%P
Great idea.

ゆにの顔がパッと明るくなる。%K%P
His face lit up immediately.

ふたりで２段ベッドの下段に寝そべった。%K%P
The two of us both squeezed into the bottom bunk.

毛布をかぶり、丸くなる。%K%P
Covering ourselves with blankets, we curled up into a ball.

すぐにゆにはかすかな寝息をたて始めた。%K%P
Soon, I could hear Yuni's quiet, peaceful breathing as he fell asleep.

寝顔は天使みたいにかわいらしい。%K%P
His sleeping face was as peaceful and adorable as an angel's.

ゆにの身体は温かかった。%K%P
His body was warm.

彼のぬくもりは夢ではない、と思いたい。%K%P
I really wanted to believe his warmth was not just a dream.

こころ「ねえ、黄泉木さん……」%K%P
Hey, Yomogi-san...

黄泉木に背を向けたまま、私は呼びかけた。%K%P
I called out to him as he sat with his back to me.

黄泉木「どうした？」%K%P
What's wrong?

こころ「もう一度だけ、確認させて」%K%P
I want to make sure just one more time.

こころ「私は、本当に『優希堂悟』って名乗ったの？」%K%P
Did I really call myself "Yukidoh Satoru"?

少し間があった。%K%P
After a short pause,

黄泉木「ああ」%K%P
Yeah.

こころ「そう……」%K%P
I see...

こころ「おやすみなさい」%K%P
Goodnight.

黄泉木「おやすみ」%K%P
Goodnight.

私は目を閉じた。%K%P
I closed my eyes.

とは言え、眠れるわけがない。%K%P
But with that said, I couldn't fall asleep at all.

じっとしていると、あてもない思考の深みにどんどんはまっていく。%K%P
Whenever I tried to be still, endless thoughts ran through my mind, going deeper and deeper.

まるで底なし沼のようだ。%K%P
Like an endless bog.

考えてもきりがないし、答えが出るはずもないのに。%K%P
Even if I kept thinking about it over and over again, I was still so far from coming up with an answer.

私は、どうなってしまったんだろう。%K%N
What had happened to me?

黄泉木は、私のことを多重人格だと言った。%K%N
Yomogi said that I had multiple personalities.

あのスフィアの夢では、内海に同じことを言われた。%K%N
The same thing Utsumi had told me in that dream when I was in SPHIA.

本当にそうなのだろうか？%K%N
Was that really the truth?

そもそも、あのスフィアの夢は本当に夢なのだろうか。%K%N
Was the time I spent in SPHIA even a dream?

避難小屋でベッドに横になっているこの私は、現実なのだろうか。%K%P
Is the Kokoro lying here on the bed in this shelter cabin even real?

どちらが夢で、どちらが現実なのか。%K%N
Which one is the dream, and which one is reality?

それとも、どちらも夢？%K%N
Or perhaps both of them are a dream?

どちらも、現実？%K%N
Or perhaps both are reality?

この避難小屋で、私が意識を失っている間、私の身体は何者かによって操られていた。%K%N
When I lost consciousness in this shelter cabin, who was it that was controlling my body?

黄泉木や黛、ゆにの言動から、それはたぶん間違いない。%K%N
Yomogi, Mayuzumi, and even Yuni confirmed it, so it's probably not just a mistake.

私の身体を操っていたその何者かは、自らを『優希堂悟』と名乗ったらしい。%K%P
It appears the person that was controlling my body introduced himself as Yukidoh Satoru.

一方、あのスフィアでは、私の身体は優希堂悟の所有物だった。%K%N
Meanwhile, when I was in SPHIA, my body also belonged to a Yukidoh Satoru as well.

多重人格では説明がつかない。%K%N
Multiple Personality Disorder can't possibly explain that.

夢にしては、どちらもリアルすぎる。%K%N
And both felt much too real to be explained as dreams.

では、なんなのか？%K%N
So then, what are they?

答えはひとつしか考えられない。%K%P
I can only think of one answer to that.

『どちらも現実』%K%N
Both are reality.

今の私が多重人格であるだけならまだしも、%K%N
Multiple Personality Disorder alone cannot explain what was happening to me right now,

あの悟の肉体の中にいた私も私なのだから、つまり記憶の連鎖があるのだから、%K%N
because I was still me while I was inside Satoru's body, as there is still a connection to my own memories while I was there.

私の意識はこちらの世界とあちらの世界を交互に行き来していると解釈するのが自然だろう。%K%N
So it was probably natural to suddenly come up with the explanation "my consciousness has been mutually switching between the world here and the world there."

合理的かどうかはともかくとしても、そう考えるより他ないのだ。%K%P
Regardless of whether that sounds logical, I couldn't think of any other explanation.

心の中で苦笑する。%K%N
A bitter laugh echoed inside my heart.

まるでＳＦだ。%K%N
It's just like a science fiction novel.

でも、それが現実。%K%N
But this is reality.

恐らく……私と悟という人物は、何かの拍子に意識が入れ替わるようになってしまったのだ。%K%P
Perhaps... I and this person named Satoru are exchanging consciousnesses with each other for some reason.

私が私の身体にいるときには、彼は彼の身体にいて、%K%N
When I'm in my body, he's in his body.

私が彼の身体にいるときには、彼は私の身体にいる。%K%N
When I'm in his body, he's in mine.

そうに違いない。%K%N
That must be it.

……そう言えば、スフィア側での私の最後の記憶は、バスルームだった。%K%N
...now that I think about it... the last thing I remember about SPHIA was being in the bathroom.

あの時、いきなりバスルームの電気が消えて……。%K%N
At that time, the bathroom lights had suddenly gone out....

あの時、いきなりバスルームの電気が消えて、誰かが入ってきて……。%K%N
At that time, the bathroom lights had suddenly gone out, and someone had come in....

でも、それが誰だったかはわからなかった。%K%N
But I had no clue who that person was.

不穏な雰囲気を感じたのははっきり覚えている。%K%P
I distinctly remember feeling a sense of danger then.

あの後、どうなったのだろう？%K%N
What exactly happened after that?

もしも意識が入れ替わっているのなら、あの後、悟という人物は大丈夫だっただろうか。%K%N
If we are indeed exchanging consciousnesses with each other, I wonder if that Satoru person is all right after that.

無事であると信じたい。%K%N
I want to believe that he's okay.

どうやら、私自身すっかり入れ替わり現象というものを受け入れてしまったみたいだ。%K%N
It would seem that I've already accepted that our consciousnesses are switching.

いや、無理矢理そう考えて納得している、というべきかもしれない。%K%N
No, perhaps I could even say I'm forcing myself to accept it.

そうでないと、気が狂ってしまいそうだから。%K%N
Because if I didn't, it would have driven me insane already.

自分なりに説明がつく状況を捻出して、とりあえず安心したいのだ。%K%P
I tried to come up with an explanation to calm myself down first.

この現象はいつまで続くのだろう。%K%N
How long is this phenomenon going to go on for?

これで終了……だといいんだけど……。%K%N
If only this were the last time... then that would be fine, but....

眠っているあいだにまた転移が起こって、スフィアで目覚める――そうならないという保証はどこにもない。%K%N
It wasn't guaranteed that there wouldn't be another switch while I was sleeping, leading to me waking up at SPHIA once again.

そして、その後また転移が起こるかどうかもわからない。%K%P
And I had no idea whether the transfer would happen again after that.

この現象の原因がわからないのだから、次の転移ののち、永遠に転移が発生しない状況になってしまうとも限らない。%K%N
Since we had no clue why this phenomenon was happening in the first place, after the next transfer, it was possible that they might just stop happening all together.

そうしたら、私はどこの誰かもわからない別人の肉体のまま、一生を終えなければならなくなる。%K%N
If that's the case, then I would end up who knows where in some stranger's body for the rest of my life.

しかも相手が女性ならまだしも、よりによって――男――だ。%K%P
If the other person was a girl, it wouldn't be so bad, but it had to be――a boy――!

まるで%TS010アンドロギュノス%TEだ。%K%N
As if I'm %TS010androgynous%TE.

それとも、%TS011性同一性障害%TEと言うべきか。%K%N
Or maybe it should be called %TS011Gender Identity Disorder%TE.

病気であった方が、まだ納得できる。%K%N
If I was actually sick, I could accept that.

でもこれは病気じゃない。%K%N
But this isn't some sickness.

何かが起こっているのだ。%K%N
Something's going on here.

私などでは想像もつかない何かが。%K%P
Something that I can't even imagine.

こころ「…………」%K%P
......

何時間ぐらい、そうやって思考を巡らしていただろう。%K%P
How much time had passed as I thought about these things over and over again?

かすかに外から聞こえる吹雪の音は、いっこうにやむ気配がなかった。%K%P
I can hear the faint sound of the blizzard blowing outside, not seeming like it was going to subside anytime soon.

ベッドの中で寝返りを打ち、黄泉木の様子を窺う。%K%P
As I rolled over in my bed, I sneaked a peek at Yomogi.

彼は『交代で火の番を』と言っていた。%K%P
He had told us we were going to take turns watching the fire.

けれど、交代の素振りさえ見せず、ただストーブの赤い炎だけを厭きることなく見つめている。%K%P
But he didn't seem to want to switch, and he simply sat in front of the red flame, staring contently.

なんだか深刻な表情だ。%K%P
He had a somewhat serious look on his face.

眠くないのだろうか。%K%P
Was he not sleepy?

それとも、私達に気を遣ってくれているのだろうか。%K%P
Or was he just looking out for us?

どうせ私も眠れそうにない。%K%P
I couldn't seem to sleep either.

黄泉木と交代してあげよう。%K%P
I might as well switch shifts with him.

そう思い、声をかけようとした時――%K%P
When I was just about to tell him――

黛「ねえ」%K%P
Hey.

ベッドの上段で、もぞもぞと物音がした。%K%P
I heard a shuffling sound from the top bunk.

黛も起きていたのだろうか。%K%P
Is Mayuzumi up too?

黛「お茶ちょうだい」%K%P
Get me some tea.

黄泉木「寝てなかったのか？」%K%P
You weren't asleep?

黛「別にいいでしょ」%K%P
What does it matter to you?

黄泉木はため息をつき、お湯を沸かすために立ち上がった。%K%P
Sighing, Yomogi stood up to boil some water.

黄泉木がお茶の用意をしている間に、黛がベッドから降りてくる。%K%P
When Yomogi went to prepare the tea, Mayuzumi came down from her bed.

チラリと私とゆにを一瞥したので、私は慌てて目を閉じた。%K%P
I quickly closed my eyes as she took a quick glance over at me and Yuni.

……なんで寝たふりなんてしてるんだろう、私。%K%P
...Geez, why am I pretending to sleep, anyway?

黛「よくもまあ、こんなぐっすり眠れるもんだわ」%K%P
Hmph, she can sleep that soundly, huh...

黛「呑気でいいわねー」%K%P
Must be nice to be so carefree.

『あなたはさっきまで、さんざん寝てたからでしょ！』%K%P
You were just sleeping soundly yourself until a few moments ago!

そう言いたかったが、やめた。%K%P
I wanted to say that, but I stopped myself.

黄泉木「寝かしておいてやれ」%K%P
Hurry up and go to sleep.

黛「あんたは寝ないの？」%K%P
You're not sleeping?

黄泉木「……これは誰にも言うなよ。実はな――」%K%P
...don't tell anyone about this. The truth is――

黄泉木「夜這いするチャンスを狙ってるんだ」%K%P
I'm just waiting patiently for my chance to pay her a little midnight visit...

――ウソッ！？%K%P
――Whaaaat?!

黄泉木ってそういう男だったのか。%K%P
Yomogi's really that kind of man?

私はベッドの中で、ブルルッと身を震わせた。%K%P
My body shook with fear in my bed.

黛「さいてー」%K%P
Scumbag.

黛の声は冷たい。%K%P
Her voice was cold.

黛「刑法第１７４条：公然とわいせつな行為をした者は、六月以下の懲役若しくは三十万円以下の罰金又は拘留若しくは科料に処する」%K%P
Article 174 of the Criminal Law: A person who commits an indecent act in public shall be punished by imprisonment with work for not more than six months...

黛「私、下ネタってだいっきらいなの！」%K%P
A fine of not more than ￥300,000, misdemeanor imprisonment without work, or a petty fine. I can't stand dirty jokes!

なんだ、冗談か……。%K%P
Oh, it's just a joke....

びっくりしたぁ。%K%P
Well, it scared me.

黄泉木「そりゃ残念だ」%K%P
That's really too bad.

黄泉木「だが安心しろ。間違ってもきみを襲ったりはしない」%K%P
But don't you worry. I wouldn't go after you even by mistake.

黛「さっさとお茶！　作れっ！」%K%P
Hurry up and make some tea!

黄泉木「ほんの冗談じゃないか」%K%P
I'm just kidding...

黛「二度としゃべんな！」%K%P
Don't talk ever again!

黄泉木はブツブツ愚痴を言いながら、地下へと降りていった。%K%P
Complaining under his breath, Yomogi went downstairs.

黛「…………」%K%P
......

黛は小さくため息をつき、ストーブの前に腰を降ろす。%K%P
Sighing a little, Mayuzumi sat down in front of the stove.

私は寝たふりをしたまま、小さく首を振った。%K%P
Pretending to be asleep, I shook my head slightly.

黛は苦手なタイプだ。%K%P
Mayuzumi was the kind of person I couldn't get along with.

ついつい、私の方から彼女を避けてしまう。%K%P
So I kept trying my best to avoid her.

彼女も私のことを嫌っているんだろうけれど。%K%P
She herself probably hated me, too.

こんなことじゃ、ダメなのかもしれない。%K%P
I didn't know if it was bad for things to have developed like this.

黄泉木が言うように、みんなで力を合わせなければならない状況なのに。%K%P
Just like Yomogi had said, we were in a situation where everyone must help each other.

好き嫌いを言っていては、助かるものも助からない。%K%P
If I told her how I felt about her, then things between us may get to an unsalvageable point.

でも……。%K%P
But....

やっぱり黛は苦手だ。%K%P
I just... can't get along with her.

黛「…………なんで」%K%P
......Why?

黛の、かすかな声が聞こえてきた。%K%P
I could just barely hear her low, quiet voice.

黛「……昔のこと……なのに……」%K%P
...even though... it's already been so long...

黛「私らしくない……」%K%P
This isn't like me at all...

ひとり言だろうか。%K%P
Is she talking to herself?

声には、さっきまでのとげとげしさがない。%K%P
Her voice is no longer as sharp as it was before.

なんだかすごく寂しそうな声。%K%P
For some reason, it almost sounded lonely.

気になって、私はそっと様子を窺ってみた。%K%P
Intrigued, I opened my eyes to take a peek.

黛はストーブの前で丸くなり、手に持ったなにかをじっと見つめていた。%K%P
Curled up in a ball in front of the stove, Mayuzumi stared fixedly at something she was holding in her hands.

写真……？%K%P
A photo...?

目を凝らす。%K%P
My eyes looked ever closer.

その写真には黛が写っていた。%K%P
In the photo was Mayuzumi.

今より少し若いように見える。%K%P
A younger Mayuzumi.

少女のように幸せそうな笑みを浮かべて、カメラの方を向いている。%K%P
Like a carefree young girl, she looked at the camera with a truly blissful smile on her face.

完全に心を許した相手にだけ見せる、安心しきった表情。%K%P
An expression so calm and peaceful, it was as if only the person she trusted completely was looking at her.

写真の中の黛は、とても輝いて見えた。%K%P
The Mayuzumi in the photo shone so brightly.

彼女は、あの写真を見て何を思い出しているんだろう？%K%P
I wonder what thoughts were running through her head as she gazed at that photo?

黛「悟…………」%K%P
Satoru......

その呟きに、私はドキッとした。%K%P
My heart skipped a beat when I heard those quiet words.

黛は今、確かに『悟』と言った。%K%P
Just now, I was certain I just heard Mayuzumi whisper "Satoru."

やはり、彼女は優希堂悟を知っているんだ。%K%P
Just as I thought, she knows Yukidoh Satoru.

問い詰めたかった。%K%P
I wanted to push her harder to get to the truth.

でも、なぜかできなかった。%K%P
But, for some reason, I couldn't do it.

彼女の過去を覗き見てしまったことに、罪悪感を覚えたせいかもしれない。%K%P
Perhaps I just felt too guilty digging into her past like this.

それに、聞いても答えてくれないだろう。%K%P
Plus, even if I ask, I probably still won't get an answer from her.

私はそっと目を閉じる。%K%P
I gently closed my eyes.

黛も戦っているのだ。%K%P
Mayuzumi was also fighting.

強がってはいるけれど、不安なのだ。%K%P
She acts like she's tough, but in reality she, too, is troubled and anxious.

辛いのは、私だけじゃない。%K%P
I'm not the only one suffering.

私はゆにの身体を抱きしめる。%K%P
I held Yuni's body tightly in my arms.

なにが起きようと、そのぬくもりを忘れないように。%K%P
So that I wouldn't forget this warmth if something were to happen to us.

私はひとりじゃないと、覚えておくために。%K%P
So that I could remember that I was not alone.

少なくとも、私は今、ここにいる……。%K%P
If nothing else, just being here right now....

それでいい……。%K%P
is enough for me....