jason

I get it, okay? You seem just as mad about all this horseshit as I do. Maybe, on some level, I believe you when you say you want the best for me. You saved my life. I guess I should be thankful, I guess. You cared. I don't doubt that.

That doesn't bring back what I lost, and that, at the end of the day, you're related to the problem. As much as that sucks, it's not something I can ignore.

I missed the call, when it came to my friend and me. It happened so fast that I barely noticed it. A guy, seeming just as normal as everyone else, suddenly burst open into some monster. Everyone around me started running, but others... were running towards it. They grew into massive mountains of fur and hair and teeth.

People ran around me. Almost trampled me in their blind panic. But I couldn't stop staring.

DON'T RUN, SAVE THEM, voices said, or something like that. They were loud and insistent and completely in my head. But what could I do? What could I add? Blood stained the streets, claws slashed at air. What did those words mean? Save who?

The fight drew closer, and I... I panicked. I did the exact opposite of what the voices told me to do.

I thought my buddy had run with me. But he didn't.

I met back up with him later, and he seemed exhilarated. He'd heard the voices too, and threw himself into the fray. Took the head right off the beast with a flaming sword made of nothing. The werewolves- that's what the furry things were- scattered when they saw him. It was amazing. It was glorious.

And I missed it.

Now, here I was. I could see everything. It was incredible, how much I'd never noticed before. These monsters were everywhere, and while he was armed, I was helpless. These things were walking the streets, preying on humans. I had a little sister at home, an older brother who I idolized. A mom and a dad. If anything would have happened to them... I don't know what I'd do. I could have had the tools to keep them safe. Now there was nothing.

But fuck sitting around feeling sorry for myself. My buddy found a group of fellow "hunters", as I learned that they were called, and I hung out with them. I wouldn't be useless. They had weapons. That would be all I needed, even if I didn't have any powers. They accepted me, to some extent. But there was always the assumption that I was weaker. I would die if I went out on my own for too long.

Maybe. But fuck it. Better than being useless. If I was gonna go out, I'd go out taking some bastard with me.

I miss when I felt that brave.

So I found a gang of rogue vampires soon afterwards, one that were separate from the greater vampire society. Apparently the vampire mayor and his buddies got their jimmies all rustled, so their boss was going to start reaching out to nearby hunters, exchanging information to try to get back at them. For a while, it went okay.

And then Vampire Mayor passed that new law and... well, you know the rest.

And that's why I'm not okay with this. All of you, here? Only one of you is human, and even she really wishes she wasn't. Even when you guys don't mean it, even when you say you mean the best, I've seen you guys step all over normal people, and even those who think the best of us still see us as less. Any one of you can crush us with a thought.

I had a life ahead of me. I had a family. That's all gone now. They're wondering where I am. If I was dead, they'd at least *know*.

No. Now I'm part of the thing that threatens them.

I don't know if I'll ever make peace with that.