;;; -*- Mode: LISP; Syntax: ANSI-Common-Lisp; Author: joswig@lisp.de; Coding: latin-1; Base: 10; Readtable: CL -*-

; Shakesperian insults by Jerry Maguire
; Lisp code: Rainer Joswig, 2018, joswig@lisp.de

(defparameter *insult-data*
  #(#("artless" "bawdy" "beslubbering" "bootless" "churlish" "cockered" "clouted"
      "craven" "currish" "dankish" "dissembling" "droning" "errant" "fawning"
      "fobbing" "froward" "frothy" "gleeking" "goatish" "gorbellied"
      "impertinent" "infectious" "jarring" "loggerheaded" "lumpish" "mammering"
      "mangled" "mewling" "paunchy" "pribbling" "puking" "puny" "quailing" "rank"
      "reeky" "roguish" "ruttish" "saucy" "spleeny" "spongy" "surly" "tottering"
      "unmuzzled" "vain" "venomed" "villainous" "warped" "wayward" "weedy"
      "yeasty")
    #("base-court" "bat-fowling" "beef-witted" "beetle-headed" "boil-brained"
      "clapper-clawed" "clay-brained" "common-kissing" "crook-pated"
      "dismal-dreaming" "dizzy-eyed" "doghearted" "dread-bolted" "earth-vexing"
      "elf-skinned" "fat-kidneyed" "fen-sucked" "flap-mouthed" "fly-bitten"
      "folly-fallen" "fool-born" "full-gorged" "guts-griping" "half-faced"
      "hasty-witted" "hedge-born" "hell-hated" "idle-headed" "ill-breeding"
      "ill-nurtured" "knotty-pated" "milk-livered" "motley-minded" "onion-eyed"
      "plume-plucked" "pottle-deep" "pox-marked" "reeling-ripe" "rough-hewn"
      "rude-growing" "rump-fed" "shard-borne" "sheep-biting" "spur-galled"
      "swag-bellied" "tardy-gaited" "tickle-brained" "toad-spotted"
      "unchin-snouted" "weather-bitten")
    #("apple-john" "baggage" "barnacle" "bladder" "boar-pig" "bugbear"
      "bum-bailey" "canker-blossom" "clack-dish" "clotpole" "coxcomb" "codpiece"
      "death-token" "dewberry" "flap-dragon" "flax-wench" "flirt-gill"
      "foot-licker" "fustilarian" "giglet" "gudgeon" "haggard" "harpy"
      "hedge-pig" "horn-beast" "hugger-mugger" "jolthead" "lewdster" "lout"
      "maggot-pie" "malt-worm" "mammet" "measle" "minnow" "miscreant" "moldwarp"
      "mumble-news" "nut-hook" "pigeon-egg" "pignut" "puttock" "pumpion"
      "ratsbane" "scut" "skainsmate" "strumpet" "varlot" "vassal" "whey-face"
      "wagtail")))

(defun random-insult (&optional (print-p nil))
  "Generates a 'Shakesperian' insult, according to Jerry Maguire.
If PRINT-P is a stream or T, then the output will be printed, otherwise it will
be returned as a string."
  (flet ((random-element (sequence)
           (elt sequence (random (length sequence)))))
    (or (format print-p
                "Thou ~a ~a ~a!"
                (random-element (aref *insult-data* 0))
                (random-element (aref *insult-data* 1))
                (random-element (aref *insult-data* 2)))
        (values))))

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