The story of beansus christ

You are Beansus, the messiah of the religion of Beanism. Bush's dog, from the Bush's baked beans commercials is crucifying you on a cross. You have been chosen by God to lead this cult of bean worshippers into the future. The world will be saved because you have the power to do it

> You say "am beansus".


"Am beansus!"

The crowd goes wild!

"I am the one who will save the world and bring peace to the world!"

They chant your name as they tear off their clothes and run around in the street

> You tell everyone to calm down and put their clothes back on, for it is a sin to be naked without a can of baked beans.


"Put your clothes back on, we're not going anywhere".
You explain that you must go through with this plan or else the world will end soon and there won't be any more beans left to eat.
Everyone agrees and puts their clothes back on

> You snort beans.


You snort some beans from your bean bag and then proceed to tell them to do likewise. The people are so excited by this that they begin to dance and sing. They even throw their hats into the air and jump up and down

> You sing always look on the bright side of life, but make it about beans.


You sing a song which has been written especially for you. It's called "Beans" and it is very catchy. Everyone sings along with you and you think that this is going to work out just fine.


> You die on the cross.


Your body is cut down and your soul is sent to Hell where you'll never get to experience the joys of life again

> You shoot beans at satan.


You shoot a few beans at Satan and he falls over dead. You laugh maniacally and start running around like a mad man. People begin to stare at you in disbelief, but they don't really care because they've already seen enough horror movies to know what happens next.

> You ascend to the plane of the living once more.


You climb up onto the roof of the church and take a deep breath before jumping off. As you fall you see the sun rise above the horizon and you feel great joy. You have survived another day

> You tell everyone that the second coming of Beansus is here and that Satan is dead.


You tell everyone that the second coming of Beansus is here and that Satan is dead

> You give everyone the OK hand.


You give everyone the OK hand and they all clap and cheer you on. You leap into the air and fly away into the sky

> You the screen fades to black with text that says "This is the story of Beansus Christ, and how he saved everyone and brought peace to the world.".


You wake up in a cold sweat. What the hell did you just watch?

> You turn off the TV.


Turning off the TV doesn't seem to help. You turn it off and try to remember if you saw anything weird on the news or something. Nothing seems strange though.