[`It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope. It'll still be stationary.`,
`What did the Confederate soldiers use to eat off of? Civil ware, What did they use to drink with? Cups. Dixie Cups.`,
`I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra. It was a booby-trap.`,
`A book just fell on my head, I only have my shelf to blame.`,
`What is the leading cause of divorce in long-term marriages? A stalemate`,
`Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.`,
`A moon rock tastes better than an earthly rock because it's meteor.`,
`A backwards poet writes inverse.`,
`I used to be addicted to soap. But I'm clean now.`,
`3.14% of sailors are Pi Rates.`,
`I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.`,
`What did the mermaid wear to her math class? An algae bra.`,
`Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field.`,
`I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.`,`You know what's not right? Left.`,
`What does a pirate say while eating sushi? Ahoy! Pass me some soy!`,
`People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow… Too soon?`,
`You wanna hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it was too cheesy.`,
`What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, you idiot!`,
`Why can't a nose be 12 inches? Because then it would be a foot.`,
`A boiled egg in the morning is really hard to beat.`]