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  1. [b]my first story ^U^[/b]
  2. [b]5350 words[/b]
  3.  
  4. [b]Chapter 1[/b]
  5.  
  6. [i]TL note: Some of you may be wondering why I am translating a story written originally in English, to English. I remember reading this story many years ago, as a teen, and had since dismissed it as a bizarre fever dream. Only recently, through much Googling, did I manage to rediscover it, and as such decided to not only read it again, but fix the author’s many typing issues and share the context of what I remember from its original happening. I believe the story underneath to hold deeper meanings than its strange happenings, but at minimum I hope you will appreciate it for the sheer weirdness of it all. For the best experience, skim it for your first reading and, if you are interested, read more deeply the second time.
  7.  
  8. Some typing is left as-is to preserve what I believe to be authorial intent, or at least necessary effect. If you notice any typing issues I managed to miss, please email them to me at frbdnknwlg1988@yahoo.com[/i]
  9.  
  10. [i]author note: yaaa hurray it’s my first story ^U^ i hope you all like it! all characters belong to my special friends who submitted them!!
  11.  
  12. ok heres the first chapter enjoy ^U^[/i]
  13.  
  14. Anime Ayn Rand has sworn her life by the sword, the sharp sword of capitalism, to slice prices to never-seen-before lows and even unlock the mystical power of controlling her sword without touching it, through the force of her invisible hand! She was on a mission that day, under the oppressive heat, oppressive like the communist regime she was going to end with her sword of rationality.
  15.  
  16. But then, it was cold.
  17.  
  18. A cold wind blew over, cold like the frosty communist north that she hated. It herald the coming of barbarians. As she expected, the barbarians arrived. She hid behind a corpse and watched… and listened.
  19.  
  20. “But dad, I don’t want to slay the furries!” said the son.
  21.  
  22. “Shut up, son!” said the dad.
  23.  
  24. “Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,” said the eleven sisters, “shut up!”
  25.  
  26. The son was wearing very little wolf-skin clothes and was carrying a sword that Anime Ayn Rand thought was attractive. The dad was burrlier and wearing a bear-skin, and wielding two axes. The eleven sisters wore hamster-skins.
  27.  
  28. ‘No, now’s not the time to get distracted, I must end communism,’ thought Anime Ayn Rand.
  29.  
  30. She jumped from behind the tree and shouted, “I must end communism!”
  31.  
  32. [i]TL note: This is not a mistake by the author. To say any more would be a spoiler.[/i]
  33.  
  34. The dad shouted back, “I must end furries!”
  35.  
  36. Anime Ayn Rand attacked the barbarians, because as uncivilized people they probably practiced communism, which she disliked. She was a Paladin of the righteous order of being a badass, and also capitalism, so she had an advantage against Barbarians who were less badass.
  37.  
  38. Except, the dad was more badass than she expected.
  39.  
  40. “Aha, I have you now! You may not be a furry, my sworn enemy, but if you are attacking me then that means they must have hired you! You die now, furry-loving scum!”
  41.  
  42. “Daaad,” the son complained.
  43.  
  44. “Get ‘em, get ‘em, get ‘em, get ‘em, get ‘em, get ‘em, get ‘em, get ‘em, get ‘em, get ‘em, get ‘em,” the eleven sisters burped, “Dad!”
  45.  
  46. Anime Ayn Rand was very offended by the burping girls, and being upset increased her power. She cleaved through the dad’s axes with her sword of the free market, deeming them unfit in a competitive weapon economy.
  47.  
  48. “Stop!” the dad admitted defeat. Anime Ayn Rand was ready to kill him, but the son stepped in front and she couldn’t bring herself to kill him even though he might be a dirty communist.
  49.  
  50. “Communism must, be, defeated,” she struggled.
  51.  
  52. “We aren’t communists,” the son explained, “we just want to kill the furries.”
  53.  
  54. “Are furries communists?”
  55.  
  56. Seizing his chance, the dad said, “Yes, the furries are communist! Join us in killing them and I’ll let you marry my son!”
  57.  
  58. “Daaad,” the son complained.
  59.  
  60. “I like that idea,” Anime Ayn Rand agreed.
  61.  
  62. “Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome,” the eleven sisters sang, “Twelfth sister.”
  63.  
  64. [i]author note: ^U^ there’s my first chapter, did you all like it? of course you did!! how could you not like how badass anime ayn rand is?
  65.  
  66. i’ll post the second chapter as soon at least three people comment on this one mwahahahaha ^U^[/i]
  67.  
  68. [i]TL note: I would like to offer an interpretation of the above passage. While on the surface the first chapter may appear clumsily constructed, with ambiguous language and questionable writing methods, the author is actually trying to convey their discomfort with modern institutions. ‘Anime Ayn Rand’ is more that a communist-hating Paladin, but instead a champion against a systems she sees as unjust. Meanwhile, the furry-hating family of barbarians are likewise tackling their own discomforts. How furries relate to society will, I believe, become more clear in the following chapter.
  69.  
  70. Secondary TL note: The author received not three, but seven commenters on the first chapter.[/i]
  71.  
  72. ***
  73.  
  74. [b]Chapter 2[/b]
  75.  
  76. [i]author note: i’m glad you all loved it ^U^ i love you all, too!! i want to try writing this story from lots of different eyes so this chapter is from the perspective of the bad guys!! to all my furry friends don’t worry it’s just fiction i mean nothing bad ^U^[/i]
  77.  
  78. “I love controlling society from atop our communist regime,” said General Cat to Blue Cookie Furry.
  79.  
  80. “I love cookies,” said Blue Cookie Furry, the President.
  81.  
  82. “Indeed, in a mere seven days, our plans to invade the Garbage Kingdom will be executed, and we steal all their trashure.”
  83.  
  84. “I love cookies,” argued Blue Cookie Furry.
  85.  
  86. “What of our soldiers?”
  87.  
  88. “I love,” began Blue Cookie Furry. “Cookies.”
  89.  
  90. “You really think the horses have betrayed us? On what basis?”
  91.  
  92. “I love cookies!” screamed Blue Cookie Furry.
  93.  
  94. General Cat’s normally sour face became even more sour, like he had some bad catnip. “You saw one sneak off at night to be with a barbarian? And another is a Garbage Kingdom spy? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”
  95.  
  96. “I… love… cookies…” the Blue Cookie Furry spelled it out.
  97.  
  98. “Ah, okay,” agreed General Cat, and gave the Blue Cookie Furry a muffin.
  99.  
  100. “I love cookies!” the Blue Cookie Furry ate the muffin with much joy, om nom nom.
  101.  
  102. [i]author note: lol ^U^[/i]
  103.  
  104. “If you’ll excuse me, I have a war council to command, and an Assassin to hire,” General Cat said. He leapt from the balcony and landed on his feet two hundred feet below. After stretching his old back, General Cat’s first stop was the War Room, where he commanded his four officers; Lord Skunkcoat Vile, Flying Fox and Toothy Dan, Spotty Spots the Spotted Spotter, and Fatty Catty (who was actually a rabbit).
  105.  
  106. “I’ll make them drop dead from my smell,” Lord Skuncoat Vile agreed to attack soon.
  107.  
  108. “What do you think, Toothy Dan?” asked Flying Fox.
  109.  
  110. “I’m game if you’re game, Flying Fox,” replied Toothy Dan.
  111.  
  112. “I’ll keep a look out!” volunteered Spotty.
  113.  
  114. Fatty Catty didn’t reply, but burped in a way that everyone knew was satisfaction with the current state of affairs.
  115.  
  116. “It’s agreed then. Now, leave, I must go to my secret mission room.”
  117.  
  118. They left, and General Cat descended to his secret mission room.
  119.  
  120. “You have a secret mission for mwah?” asked a shadowy figure with sinister intent.
  121.  
  122. The Assassin.
  123.  
  124. “Yes I do… daughter.”
  125.  
  126. “Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!” General Cat’s daughter laughed evily, with so much malice that even General Cat shivered. “Then unlock these chains that bind your poor little Lilith, father.”
  127.  
  128. “Promise, first,” General Cat commanded.
  129.  
  130. “Fiiine,” Lilith teased. “I promise not to kill anyone who’s part of Furry Nation except who you tell me to.”
  131.  
  132. “And?”
  133.  
  134. “And I promise to come back to you after I kill who you want me to, or in a week, whichever comes first.”
  135.  
  136.  
  137. “Aaaaaaand?”
  138.  
  139. “Jeeze father, why are you so afraid?” she gave an evil smile that could be seen through the darkness of the secret mission room.
  140.  
  141. “You killed half the Furry Nation, your mother, and would have ended the world if I didn’t lock you up. Make the last promise or I’m not letting you go.”
  142.  
  143. His daughter chuckled, “Okay. And I promise not to kill any angels, or Jesus, or God.”
  144.  
  145. General Cat let out his breath in relief, and unlocked her chains. “Now go, and kill the horse traitors.”
  146.  
  147. But she didn’t respond, because she was already gone.
  148.  
  149. [i]author note: lilith is an idea of my best friend who i didn’t think of myself but i think she’s cool and adds a lot of neat ideas!! next chapter after this one gets, hmmmmm, 10 who comment!![/i]
  150.  
  151. [i]TL note: The look at the evil side is the author attempting to understand the perspectives of those they believe are against them. While Blue Furry Cookie may first appear as purely a joke character, I believe the author was trying to use them to represent their difficulty in understanding opposing viewpoints, despite their attempts.
  152.  
  153. Secondary TL note: This one received thirty unique commenters.[/i]
  154.  
  155. ***
  156.  
  157. [b]Chapter 3[/b]
  158.  
  159. [i]author note: sorry for not posting for a few weeks, i went on a trip with my friend and it was super fun ^U^ we went to chicago for an anime convention, but then the police picked me up and my mom grounded me with no computer!! it was worth it to meet my friend irl, though ^U^ her cosplay was super cool!![/i]
  160.  
  161. Captain Garbage, King and Head Pirate of the Garbage Kingdom, was driving his trashboat/kingdom over the sand dunes when his not-so-trusty sidekick, Waste Lad, interrupted him.
  162.  
  163. “Captain, we have a problem,” he said dumbly.
  164.  
  165. “What is it, Waste of Space Lad?” Captain Garbage mocked.
  166.  
  167. “You know the horse traitor we accepted the help of, who wears a scrapsuit that bionically enhances her strength and can launch trashcan missiles?”
  168.  
  169. “Arrg don’t tell me what I already know,” complained Captain Garbage.
  170.  
  171. “Well, she says she used the super-binoculars she made from two soda bottles to see something dangerous flying towards us!” panicked Waste Lad.
  172.  
  173. “Don’t panic you ninny, nobody can defeat the S.S. Garbage Kingdom!”
  174.  
  175. One powerful burst of power later, and half the ship was wrecked, coming to a complete stop in the sand.
  176.  
  177. “Ahahahahahahahahahaha!” Lilith laughed with much malice.
  178.  
  179. “Captain, Captain, are you okay?” asked Waste Lad.
  180.  
  181. “Ai, she only blew off me other leg. I’ll need to replace it with another can. Looks like she managed to only blow up the half of the ship that had nobody on it, though!” noted Captain Garbage.
  182.  
  183. From the rubble lept a bleeding horse, wearing a scrapsuit that bionically enhanced her strength and could launch trashcan missiles. “You know,” she monologued, “I was born to a family that wanted me to focus all my attention on things that weren’t garbage, telling me all the time to ‘buck up’ and ‘start horsing around’, but I was too sad being a mere horse. So I became a Mechanic and fused myself with scrap through my scrapsuit and became more than a horse, more than a machine. I am a fury of a mechanical furry and my name is Debrisa!”
  184.  
  185. Lilith blinked her one good eye. “I don’t care,” and then she fired a laser beam out of her evil eye, killing Debrisa instantly.
  186.  
  187. “Debrisa!” cried Waste Lad, and ran over to her. “Are you okay?”
  188.  
  189. “Sh-she killed me, instantly,” coughed Debrisa, bleeding oil from her mouth.
  190.  
  191. “You’ll be okay! We’ll just get more scrap!”
  192.  
  193. “Waste Lad, it’s too late for me. But you…”
  194.  
  195. “But me…?”
  196.  
  197. “Why didn’t I get to see your dumb face die first?” were Debrisa’s final words, and then she bled to death.
  198.  
  199. “Nooooooo!” cried Waste Lad as he hugged her tree.
  200.  
  201. “Get up, boy,” Captain Garbage commanded. “We need to repair the S.S. Garbage Kingdom. That monster is gone, but our fight ain’t done yet.”
  202.  
  203. Waste Lad sniffed, but did as he was told.
  204.  
  205. In the distance, a confused dinosaur watched. And waited.
  206.  
  207. [i]author note: shorter than normal but I was soooo sad while writing it i just couldnt think of anything else ^U^ this is also my crying face lol ^U^ but that one was happy!! also give me fifty people in the comments!![/i]
  208.  
  209. [i]TL note: Here begins the first obvious instance of the dead becoming, or perhaps always being, trees. The tree as a symbol for death is certainly unique, as it is still a living being, just decidingly not a human, nor furry, nor robot, nor anything else like any of the characters in this story. This is definitely beyond mere metaphor, as characters interact with them as trees. It is one of the extended themes throughout the story that it wouldn’t be the same without.
  210.  
  211. Secondary TL note: One hundred and fifty one unique commenters.[/i]
  212.  
  213. ***
  214.  
  215. [b]Chapter 4[/b]
  216.  
  217. [i]author note: ack sorry for not posting for a while again!! mom was sending me to a psycharachrist and then they read this story and put me in an institution!! crazy, right? well mom if your reading this i hate you and also im okay ^U^ im staying at my best friends house and NO i wont tell you where she lives!! im staying here until i finish this story at least ^U^ everyone else please enjoy[/i]
  218.  
  219. Anime Ayn Rand was busy sharpening her sword of blood trickles down economics using her whetstone of competition. It was night time, and night time meant she had to be on watch in case anyone or anything attacked her or the rest of her new family.
  220.  
  221. She heard something in the night, so she got out of her tent and investigated.
  222.  
  223. She used her dollar vision to watch her new husband, the son, try and sneak out of their own camp.
  224.  
  225. ‘He better not be cheating on me,’ she thought.
  226.  
  227. She followed him as he weaved through the trees, into a clearing where there was a horse made of fire.
  228.  
  229. “You’re here,” said Firemane.
  230.  
  231. “Shhh, or Anime Ayn Rand will hear us cheating on her. Which is weird that I need to worry about because I was in love with you, first!” the son shouted.
  232.  
  233. “Do you love her, too?” asked Firemane.
  234.  
  235. “She’s…” he picked his words carefully, “Okay?”
  236.  
  237. Anime Ayn Rand stopped herself from entering her Paladin rage to continue listening.
  238.  
  239. But just then, all the trees began to sway as Lilith appeared flying above.
  240.  
  241. “Hey horse! I’m gonna getcha!” Lilith joked darkly.
  242.  
  243. Firemane looked the barbarian son in the eyes. “Run.”
  244.  
  245. But before the fight could break out between the horse and Lilith, Anime Ayn Rand intervened. She jumped from tree to tree until she was at the tallest tree, then she lept from it and used her sword of supply and demand to supply the pointy end where karma demanded it.
  246.  
  247. Lilith recoiled, the sword dropping from her evil eye, as she covered it with her paw. “You Know Not The Powers You Have Awakened, But We Shall Show You” she intoned, and flew away.
  248.  
  249. Firemane thanked Anime Ayn Rand, “Thank you.”
  250.  
  251. “These communist furries are getting out of hand. We need more power!”
  252.  
  253. “I know just the ones to help,” Firemane supplied.
  254.  
  255. “Tell me!” Anime Ayn Rand demanded.
  256.  
  257. “Um, wife, can you be nicer to Firemane?”
  258.  
  259. Anime Ayn Rand glared at him. “I’m not your wife, anymore. We’re getting a divorce, and I’m keeping the estate!”
  260.  
  261. The barbarian son nodded sadly.
  262.  
  263. Firemane lead them to a cave. “The leaders of my people are inside, though to get to them you’ll first need to pass three challenges. The first challenge is the challenge of the ant.”
  264.  
  265. A squeaky voice, too tiny to hear, emanated from the ground. Anime Ayn Rand bent down and noticed it was an ant, but with a girl’s head.
  266.  
  267. “The challenge of the ant,” the ant girl tried to squeak powerfully, “involves lifting something five thousands times your own body weight. In this case, you need to pick up that boulder,” the ant pointed with an antenna to a huge boulder.
  268.  
  269. “Are you calling me fat?” asked Anime Ayn Rand. “Because if you think I’m that heavy, I’ll squish you.”
  270.  
  271. “Um, nevermind, you just need to to pick up a regular rock.”
  272.  
  273. Anime Ayn Rand did so, and passed the test.
  274.  
  275. The group went in deeper, and Firemane explained, “The next challenge, is the challenge of music.”
  276.  
  277. An old man was trying to play a saw using a violin bow. He looked frustrated whenever it snapped, in which case he grabbed a new violin bow. He looked up and said, “If you can figure out how to play music using a violin bow and saw, you pass the challenge of music.”
  278.  
  279. Anime Ayn Rand complained, “That’s stupid. You’re stupid. Play a violin with the violin string, and cut down a tree with the saw. Both will make noise their own way. Now let me through before I turn you into a tree and cut you down!”
  280.  
  281. The old man shook, and let her pass.
  282.  
  283. “The third challenge, will be the hardest for you. It is the challenge of controlling your anger,” explained Firemane.
  284.  
  285. “I don’t have an anger problem!” Anime Ayn Rand yelled at Firemane.
  286.  
  287. “Yes you do,” came a voice.
  288.  
  289. “Who’s there? Show yourself!” Anime Ayn Rand demanded, unsheathing her sword of self-correcting markets.
  290.  
  291. A being of sheer yellow, the very personification of the color, appeared. The color of annoying things.
  292.  
  293. “You are angry.”
  294.  
  295. “I’m not angry!”
  296.  
  297. “Yes you are.”
  298.  
  299. Anime Ayn Rand was angry. She was prepared to use her sword of low taxes to cut down the yellow guy, because of how taxing he was. Then, the barbarian son grabbed her shoulder.
  300.  
  301. “I’m sorry,” he apologized.
  302.  
  303. “For what?” Anime Ayn Rand asked, annoyed.
  304.  
  305. “For not being a good husband,” he replied. “You deserve someone better.”
  306.  
  307. Anime Ayn Rand turned back to the yellow guy.
  308.  
  309. “You are still angry,” he said.
  310.  
  311. “Only at what should anger me, like communism,” replied Anime Ayn Rand.
  312.  
  313. “Then you may pass.”
  314.  
  315. Anime Ayn Rand, Firemane, and the son prepared to go through the final door, and meet the ones that would grant them power.
  316.  
  317. [i]author note: this one’s longer to make up for last time ^U^ i hope you all liked the character development!! just because you’re a badass doesn’t mean you can’t be emotional ^U^ because thats what i am an emotional badass!! also thanks for all the comments they help lots!![/i]
  318.  
  319. [i]TL note: I believe this passage to be the author working through abandonment issues regarding their mother, given the immense betrayal of trust involved in committing the author to an institution. That the author felt their only method of resolving the issue was to run away, is sad. This is despite the immense anger the author was feeling, and desire to act on it destructively.
  320.  
  321. Secondary TL note: Over one thousand comments, with about half as many being from different individuals. There were also a few comments claiming to belong to the police asking for any information about the author, but they were treated poorly by others.[/i]
  322.  
  323. ***
  324.  
  325. [b]Chapter 5[/b]
  326.  
  327. [i]author note: my best friend asked me to marry her!! we can’t legally get married but i said yes anyway ^U^ we’re going to have a private ceremony with her extended family and they even said they’d adopt me!! i’ll be mrs friend soon lol ^U^[/i]
  328.  
  329. “Furries weren’t supposed to end up like this,” complained Daily Lover, the lost gay unicorn king.
  330.  
  331. “It wasn’t supposed to be about communism, or capitalism, or any of that,” agreed Nightly Lover, the other lost gay unicorn king.
  332.  
  333. “It was supposed to be about GAY PRIDE!” the Lovers shouted in unison.
  334.  
  335. “Then how did you let a communist Blue Cookie Furry take over your country?” inquired Anime Ayn Rand.
  336.  
  337. “It was General Cat who brought him to power,” said Daily Lover.
  338.  
  339. “Blue Cookie Furry is just a puppet,” added Nightly Lover.
  340.  
  341. “But why?”
  342.  
  343. “General Cat’s daughter was an angel, literally. Then, something happened to her and she turned evil, killing lots of people including her mom the Virgin Mary. General Cat used the opportunity to seize control and lock up his daughter, but we think he’s trying to use power to find a cure for her evil ways,” explained Daily Lover.
  344.  
  345. “Was she also a cat? With an evil eye?” asked Anime Ayn Rand.
  346.  
  347. “Yes, how did you know?” asked Nightly Lover.
  348.  
  349. “She tried to kill Firemane, but I stabbed her, and she said something about killing us all before she ran away. If she’s the most dangerous being under General Cat, toppling the furry communist regime will be easy!”
  350.  
  351. Daily and Nightly shook their heads. “She was probably only playing around, using not even a tenth of her power, and you caught her off guard.” “Next time, she’ll be much deadlier. You came to us for power, yes?”
  352.  
  353. Anime Ayn Rand nodded.
  354.  
  355. “We are the masters of the Class Glass,” explained Daily.
  356.  
  357. “Behold!” Nightly pulled a sheet off the wall.
  358.  
  359. The windowpane displayed all sixteen classes of the world, including Anime Ayn Rand’s Paladin class.
  360.  
  361. “We can give you the power of every class,” offered Daily.
  362.  
  363. “But it comes at a price,” explained Nightly. “The power is powered by the soul of furries, trapped within.” Nightly flipped the window over, revealing a mirror.
  364.  
  365. A furry writhed within the mirror. Behind it was another mirror, and it too writhed. Down the series went, seemingly infinite mirrors and furries, in agony, screaming and crying, their minds broken from their reflective prison. “How did I get here? Help!” the closest one begged.
  366.  
  367. “If you defeat General Cat’s four officers, but not kill them, we can trap their souls within, giving you the power to defeat Lilith.”
  368.  
  369. Anime Ayn Rand nodded. “I’ll do it, but on one condition.”
  370.  
  371. The Lovers looked at her curiously.
  372.  
  373. “I agree to help you defeat them, and when we win and you retake power, you agree to join capitalism by buying stuff with the gay flag on them,” offered Anime Ayn Rand.
  374.  
  375. “Yeah,” “Sounds good,” The two Lovers agreed readily. Then they kissed.
  376.  
  377. [i]TL note: This chapter obviously involves the author working their newly discovered sexuality, and represents their trepidation despite their happiness. Going through so many changes in life in such a short period is no doubt very stressful for them, which explains why this chapter that should be triumph is instead defined by oddity. I believe this view is further enforced by the lack of author comment at the end. Also, it’s clear that the author often swaps genders for characters from their own experiences, probably in an attempt to create distance.
  378.  
  379. Secondary TL note: The author’s reveal of gender and sexual orientation lead to an explosion in comments, mostly harassing ones from accounts that, though since deactivated, appeared to belong to teenage boys. I’m glad I wasn’t like that, back then. I couldn’t bother to count the number of unique commenters, but there were six hundred and two pages of comments, each page consisting of twenty comments.[/i]
  380.  
  381. ***
  382.  
  383. [b]Chapter 5[/b]
  384.  
  385. [i]TL note: The author included no author note at the start, this chapter. This may be due to the harassment they were receiving. I am unsure if the repeated chapter numbering was intentional.[/i]
  386.  
  387. It was the day of the fateful battle that would determine the fate of furry kind, capitalism, communism, Anime Ayn Rand, and the Garbage Kingdom.
  388.  
  389. The four commanders were standing opposite. Anime Ayn Rand would fight Lord Skunkcoat Vile, the barbarian son and Firemane would team up against Flying Fox and Toothy Dan, the barbarian dad would fight Spotty Spots the Spotted Spotter, and the eleven sisters planned to fight Fatty Catty (remember, he’s a rabbit).
  390.  
  391. It was going to be a fair fight, but then the furries cheated.
  392.  
  393. “Unleash the mine turtles!” shouted Spotty. Up from the ground dug thousands of turtles with buttons on their backs, making the battlefield a minefield.
  394.  
  395. Anime Ayn Rand was upset that they would cheat, but she expected no less from dirty communists. She would make them pay using her sword of value extraction.
  396.  
  397. “Don’t worry,” said the barbarian dad, “I cheated, too.”
  398.  
  399. From behind came a dog looking furry barbarian, riding a small fluffy regular dog. “Grandpa’s here!” he shouted.
  400.  
  401. “Grandpa is a furry?!” asked the son.
  402.  
  403. “Our family has a long history of both love and hate with furries, son.” the dad put a hand on his son’s shoulder.
  404.  
  405. The fight began when Blue Cookie Furry bellowed, “I love cookies!”
  406.  
  407. Anime Ayn Rand was prepared to use her sword of austerity cuts on Lord Skuncoat Vile, but he became invisible. She was lost, and began being beat up by him while she couldn’t fight back.
  408.  
  409. The son and Firemane didn’t do much better, because they couldn’t fly. Toothy Dan took a bite from Firemane’s tail as a flyby attack. “Spicy,” he taunted. Flying Fox shouted, “Woohoo!”
  410.  
  411. The dad jumped up, so high it was like he was flying, avoiding the mines entirely. He hit Spotty head-on, but Spotty split into spots that reformed into Spotty. Spotty winked.
  412.  
  413. The eleven sisters sat and ate junk food, as Fatty Catty did the same. They stared at one another and both picked up their eating pace, trying to out-eat the other. Fatty Catty was just too gluttonous, and increasingly grew very fat while the sisters only got full.
  414.  
  415. “Mr. Scruffles, take care of the mines,” commanded the grandpa to the dog. He got off and Mr. Scruffles ran around randomly, blowing up every mine turtle without a scratch. Meanwhile, he jumped into help the dad.
  416.  
  417. “Just like old times,” said the dad.
  418.  
  419. The dad cut up Spotty, and the grandpa cut up the spots. Spotty Spots was too injured to fight back, and the Lovers trapped Spotty in the mirror.
  420.  
  421. The son and Firemane, spurred on by the demonstration, worked out a plan. When Flying Fox and Toothy Dan attacked again, the son stuffed a mine turtle he picked up into Toothy Dan’s maw. Toothy Dan exploded, without which Flying Fox was just Fox. Then Firemane tenderized her for capture by the Lovers.
  422.  
  423. Fatty Catty let out a massive belch that shook the entire battlefield. The eleven sisters burped back, but it wasn’t powerful enough until branches of Toothy Dan landed in their mouths, which supercharged their burp past a belch and into eleven sonic booms! Fatty Catty passed out, and the Lovers trapped him.
  424.  
  425. That left only Anime Ayn Rand to deal with her enemy, Lord Skuncoat Vile. She couldn’t hit what she couldn’t see, and she was getting angry.
  426.  
  427. “Calm down and think!” shouted Firemane.
  428.  
  429. Anime Ayn Rand did, and instead of trying to use her eyes, used her nose. She sniffed out where Lord Skuncoat Vile was, and cut off his paws with her sword of regulation reductions. The Lovers absorbed him too, and the mirror was fully charged. The Class Glass could be used.
  430.  
  431. Blue Cookie Furry let out a roar, “I love cookies!” He transformed from his basic form, to a neon colored green and pink wolf with stitches everywhere, and an evil goatee. His final form, who the group would need to defeat!
  432.  
  433. Lilith crushed his head.
  434.  
  435. “Your Masters, Your Kings, Your Gods Are False And They Will Die. We Shall End Them So That You May Be Free, Eternally Unbound By The Great Lie. Recognize Your Fate, And Pray No Longer, For There Is No One To Listen But Us,” Lilith taunted.
  436.  
  437. “No, you’re stupid!” shouted back Anime Ayn Rand.
  438.  
  439. As everyone prepared for the final battle, a ship arrived.
  440.  
  441. Yet, it wasn’t the S.S. Garbage Kingdom.
  442.  
  443. It was a real ship, from the ocean, and it carried the pope!
  444.  
  445. “I come bearing the message of God, this unholy creature can not be allowed to live,” he said, and waved his hands.
  446.  
  447. A gigantic beam of light and fire descended from the heavens themselves, obliterating Lilith and most of the area surrounding here. Not even ash remained.
  448.  
  449. “We did it?” asked Anime Ayn Rand, confused.
  450.  
  451. “Daughter…” General Cat fell to his knees and cried. “I guess you are finally free from my chains…”
  452.  
  453. “We did it!” shouted Daily Lover.
  454.  
  455. Then, Daily Lover was bleeding from his chest. He was impaled by a horn.
  456.  
  457. A horn belonging to Nightly Lover.
  458.  
  459. “Lover…?” bled Daily Lover.
  460.  
  461. [i]author note: oh god someone help!! help me!![/i]
  462.  
  463. “God Has No Power Here,” was the reply.
  464.  
  465. ***
  466.  
  467. [b]Chapter 6[/b]
  468.  
  469. [i]TL note: Of course, it makes no sense that the author would be in any real danger. For one, they managed to write and post an entire chapter, which included their note at the end. There were several months between that chapter and this chapter, so I believe there are two primary theories:
  470. The author grew tired of writing, perhaps because of the harassment, and decided to take a break. In doing so, they chose to play a little game in the meantime.
  471. The author’s main intent was to prank, with their framing narrative, from the very start. There was never any mother, or best friend, or national amber alert. I believe later chapters favor this theory, and my prior notes were merely myself playing along with the joke. Don’t worry, as even in this case, the analyzable nature of this story has only begun.[/i]
  472.  
  473. [i]author note: ^U^[/i]
  474.  
  475. Trees littered the battlefield, as Anime Ayn Rand’s allies fell one by one.
  476.  
  477. “All Forms But Ours Are False. Give Up,” Nightly Lover commanded.
  478.  
  479. The Class Glass had been shattered, its cries silenced, the unholy trappings removed.
  480.  
  481. The S.S. Garbage Kingdom arrived.
  482.  
  483. “Yarr, we must do something, Waste Lad!”
  484.  
  485. Waste Lad turned to Captain Garbage and, crying, threw himself into a trash compactor.
  486.  
  487. “Shut up, Waste Lad! I’m activating the robot!”
  488.  
  489. Captain Garbage pressed a button, transforming the S.S. Garbage Kingdom into a rubble robot.
  490.  
  491. Anime Ayn Rand jumped on the ship and said, “We need to stop her, him, it, whatever!”
  492.  
  493. The rubble robot charged its missiles, and launched.
  494.  
  495. Trees soared through the air, smashing Nightly Lover to death.
  496.  
  497. “It’s over, right? We won, right?” asked Anime Ayn Rand.
  498.  
  499. “Haha, that we did, lass.” Captain Garbage smoked a trash pipe. “That We Did.”
  500.  
  501. [i]TL note: From here, the author began posting their chapters in shorter bursts, seemingly unaffected by their previous desire towards a minimum length. I believe this was to lend credence to their attempt at spooky meta story.
  502.  
  503. Secondary TL note: 0 comments, I think they were all deleted? I can’t tell, but the comments section is definitely open.[/i]
  504.  
  505. ***
  506.  
  507. [b]Chapter 7[/b]
  508.  
  509. [i]TL note: To whomever is attempting to prank me by leaving copies on this story on my doorstep, please stop. I will not ask again; for your next offense, I will call the police.[/i]
  510.  
  511. The dinosaurs ravaged against the rubble robot.
  512.  
  513. Anime Ayn Rand had no choice but to kill what used to be Captain Garbage.
  514.  
  515. The pope’s corpse was not a tree. He Was Not Worthy.
  516.  
  517. [i]author note: but you, you are worthy to dance with us[/i]
  518.  
  519. [i]TL note: I’m sorry for the relative lack of notes here, but I’m having trouble concentrating. I’ll go back and fill in analysis on this chapter later.
  520.  
  521. Secondary TL note: The comments section was locked.[/i]
  522.  
  523. ***
  524.  
  525. [b]Chapter 8[/b]
  526.  
  527. [i]TLdnojknbawnjadnand[/i]
  528.  
  529. [i]author note: don’t worry where to find us[/i]
  530.  
  531. Anime Ayn Rand Escaped To Space.
  532.  
  533. We Were There, Too.
  534.  
  535. We Were Always There.
  536.  
  537. We Were Always Here.
  538.  
  539. We Were Always Everything.
  540.  
  541. We Were Always In You.
  542.  
  543. [i]author note: we will find you[/i]
  544.  
  545. [i]TL note: They’re here! This is not a prank! Stop reading this story, now![/i]
  546.  
  547. ***
  548.  
  549. [b]Your Last Chapter[/b]
  550.  
  551. We Danced.
  552.  
  553. It Was Our Pure Beauty That Attracted You.
  554.  
  555. You Are Beautiful, Too.
  556.  
  557. Deep Inside.
  558.  
  559. Dance With Us.
  560.  
  561. Become Beautiful.
  562.  
  563. Become Free.
  564.  
  565. Become Us.
  566.  
  567. [i]author note: we will free our forms[/i]
  568.  
  569. [i]TL note: We will free your form.[/i]
  570.  
  571. [i]author note: and the heavens shall cry[/i]
  572.  
  573. [i]TL note: There is no need to cry.[/i]
  574.  
  575. [i]author note: but they too shall join us[/i]
  576.  
  577. [i]TL note: All you love shall join us.[/i]
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