Fears

[Esei becomes a trill and goes to Nocht's Fulcrux for a bit to think on recent events.]

A stone bridge.
The shadows violently writhe and twist along the ground here, indicating a war shrine of Nocht nearby. It is quite cool. This small bridge provides a crossing point over the Glomdoring River. Constructed of grey stone, its edges are built up to form a low wall, whilst the centre is a well-trod path from south to north. Small symbols of birds and stars are carved deeply into the stone, some barely visible below the lichen and moss, others still clear and vibrant. Along the river, it is possible to see some distance to the west and northeast, as the ashes and willows drop back from the murky waters. To the south, a dirt track leads away into a dense ash forest, whilst the way to the north is dark and shadowy, bordered by blackened, twisted trees. A sedge of galingale is firmly planted in the forest floor. A marjoram bush flourishes here, spreading its delicate scent. Lovely coltsfoot carpets the forest floor. Sprays of chervil cover the forest floor. A mature rowan tree stands proudly here. Casting darkness all around, a shadow totem thrusts up from the ground, chilling the air.
You see exits leading south and northwest.

You let out a soft sigh.

You have emoted: Esei kneels on the ground near the edge of the bridge, folding their arms to rest their chin upon. Their eyes stare blankly out into the distance, languidly watching the woods.

You think to yourself: ...failure is impermanent.

You think to yourself: Fear not failure...

You think to yourself: Fear only...

You have emoted: Esei presses their cheek against their arm, humming thoughtfully.

You think to yourself: Fear what?

You think to yourself: I am a spider, and fear is my web.

You think to yourself: What fear is there but that which I make?

The whispering voices that trail after your shroud murmur softly in delight, whispering your own thoughts in your ear.

The pointed tips of your ears twitch to hear an errant sound.

You have emoted: Esei traces a loose pattern in the cloth of the shroud, smiling faintly.

You think to yourself: ** A warm, rolling wave of fondness. **.

You think to yourself: Even fears I make for myself...

You have emoted: Esei stares into the water, humming softly, lazily.

With wings fluttering in rapid droning beats, Filib flits in rapidly from the south.
You blink.

Filib Shee-Slaugh blinks.

In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "Ah, cousin."

His whispering voice rising slightly at being startled, Filib Shee-Slaugh says, "A-Ah... Hello, cousin."

Softly, you ask, "I hope all is well?"

Filib Shee-Slaugh nods his head, his dull wings a blur behind him as he hovers in the air. "I was on my way back to the stables..." he whispers, peering down at you. "Why are you sitting on the bridge, cousin? Are you well?"

You have emoted: Esei hums thoughtfully, leaning their cheek onto their fist. "Yes," they say softly. "Just thinking. About fears, and doubts."

With raised eyebrows, Filib Shee-Slaugh says, "Your own? I can't imagine that."

You have emoted: Esei looks over to Filib Shee-Slaugh, quirking one of their own feathered brows.

Filib Shee-Slaugh attempts to look away casually as if he were merely watching the trees, a poor attempt at masking his nervousness at being studied. His fingers fiddle and smoothing out a corner of his smock. "The forest seems quieter this morning..." he offers awkwardly.

Turning their gaze back to the water, you say, "I suppose it is, yes."

You think to yourself: ** Swirling, muted purples, warm and fond for their cousin. **.

You think to yourself: Fears... for myself... are none but those I create for myself.

You have emoted: Esei frowns particularly hard, moving to drum their fingers against their cheek.

Filib Shee-Slaugh tilts his head, watching you out of the corner of his eye curiously.

Quietly, not looking up from the water, you ask Filib Shee-Slaugh, "Is everything alright, cousin?"

In his whispering voice, Filib Shee-Slaugh says, "Ah! Ahem. Yes... I suppose I should hurry back before someone misses me."

Filib Shee-Slaugh moves to flutter off a bit flustered, but pauses as if remembering something. He turns to bow his head politely before disappearing into the forest.

You have emoted: Esei traces a star engraved on the bridge. "You can stay a while, if you wish. I do not mind."

The ghost of a smile passes fleetingly across your lips.

You caress a phantasmal shroud of shadows gently.

You think to yourself: ** soft, twisting gold... **.

You have emoted: Esei pulls away from the bridge's edge, placing their hands on their knees.

You close your eyes and inhale deeply, absorbing the scent of your surroundings.
You let loose a long breath from your lungs, exhaling slowly.

Shadows swirl around your arm as the Fingerblade of dha'Wyrden-cree digs itself more painfully into your finger.

You think to yourself: Fear is the web, in which the spider sits...

You think to yourself: My fear is but the web, and I the spider. There is no fear but that which I use to ensnare.

You close your eyes and inhale deeply, absorbing the scent of your surroundings.
You let loose a long breath from your lungs, exhaling slowly.

In dark, lyrical tones, you whisper, "Do not fear, for failure is still a learning experience - to fail is to learn, and learning never truly ends."

In dark, lyrical tones, you whisper, "Learning is success, even if the lesson is hard."

A large shadow flits across the edge of your vision for a bare instant, vanishing between the trees.

You have emoted: Esei's wings pull close behind them, before fanning out to cast their shadow larger.

The wind whistles eerily through the branches overhead.

You have emoted: Esei tips their head back, gazing up at the dying sunlight.

You lazily draw your wings to and fro through the air, fanning them slowly.

Shadows grow longer in anticipation for the return of their dark mistress as Father Sun's chase brings him closer to the world's edge.

You let loose a long breath from your lungs, exhaling slowly.
You think to yourself: It is alright to feel- remember black sorrow- but Do Not Fear, for Fear Is Useless On Me.

You tilt your head back and look up at the sky.

You have emoted: Esei rises, dusting themself off carefully.

The Stables of the Wyrden Thorn.
The shadows violently writhe and twist along the ground here, indicating a war shrine of Nocht nearby. The shadowy outline of a twisted forest casts a dark gloom here. A strong gale has developed here. Wyrden trees hunch over each other here, forming a canopy overhead. The twisted branches from each tree clash together, writhing about each other and blurring together in an unending battle of foliage. Beneath the twisted canopy, a sturdy stables has been erected, crafted from the wood from several ravenwood trees. Viciously thorny vines spread out across the ground, wrapping around the stables and spreading outwards. Midnight black roses grow in patches amongst the abundant plant life, their heavy blooms threatening to snap the stems they grow upon. Tucked away in the corner of the stables is a carefully wrapped bundle, the corner of a pitch-black tunic and the shimmer of silver and gems visible within. A solstice stocking has been hung here. Filib Shee-Slaugh hovers in the air here with a pair of daggers in his hands, wings beating rapidly. A sign suggests you can use STABLE commands here.
You see exits leading north and northeast.

You give Filib Shee-Slaugh a respectful bow, one hand clasped over your heart.

In dark, lyrical tones, you say to Filib Shee-Slaugh, "...cousin. You ran off."

Filib Shee-Slaugh blinks.

Gently, you ask Filib Shee-Slaugh, "Did... you have a question for me?"

Whispering, Filib Shee-Slaugh says, "Ran off? I.. I merely returned at a regular... normal.. faeling pace."

You glance askance.

Deadpan, you say, "Yes."

Filib Shee-Slaugh glances askance.

Whispering, Filib Shee-Slaugh says, "Yes..."


Blinking innocently, you say, "Of course. I beg your pardon."

You have emoted: Esei gives a bow to Filib Shee-Slaugh that is only half-exaggerated, sweeping one hand out with a flourish.

Filib Shee-Slaugh nervously runs his finger along the brooch attached to his smock, "My apologies if I disturbed your meditations earlier, cous-" He stumbles over his words as you bow. "Ah! Hmmmmm... There is no need to bow to me, cousin!"

In dark, lyrical tones, you say to Filib Shee-Slaugh, "Not interrupting at all. It was just some... fairly heavy thoughts."

Filib Shee-Slaugh does not seem comforted by that at all.

In dark, lyrical tones, you ask Filib Shee-Slaugh, "I think they were enlightening. Would you like to hear?"

Filib Shee-Slaugh tilts his head and listens intently to you.

You have emoted: Closing their eyes, Esei inhales and exhales slowly, as though centering themself.

Softly, you say, "I was struggling with old fears and worries and doubts. It happens, from time to time, though I am better at handling it now."

In dark, lyrical tones, you whisper, "As I was thinking on that fear, I realized that it was unnecessary for me to fear what I was worried over. I remembered one of Mother Night's liturgy against fear, which I had almost forgotten."

Filib Shee-Slaugh leans forward, listening intently, "A liturgy against it?"

In dark, lyrical tones, you recite, "Fear is but the web, in which the spider sits. My fear is but the web, and I the spider. There is no fear but that which I use to ensnare."

Half-sheepishly, you say, "I had realized that the fear I had was one I had created myself, unwittingly."

Filib Shee-Slaugh furrows his brow as he thinks, pale wings coming to a stop that allows him to drop gracefully down to the ground below. "You caught yourself in your own web?"

Wryly, you ask, "Well, one must always start somewhere, no?"

Filib Shee-Slaugh looks up at you, a hint of doubt in his expression. "Hmm... I suppose. I can't picture you afraid, cousin."

You have emoted: "Whyever not?" Esei asks, tilting their head with no small amount of curiosity.

You think to yourself: ** warm pastel orange - they've so much faith in me **.

Filib Shee-Slaugh blinks in surprise at the question as if its answer was obvious. "Ah! Well... That is. I'm sure it is so if you say it is... I've just never seen it. You always appeared certain and calm as a Shee-Slaugh should..." He trails off, his cheeks a shade darker as blood rushes to them.

Gently, you say, "Oh, cousin."

In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "For many years, I didn't even think I deserved the name, even though I'd done enough to hold it before I was even Crowned."

Filib Shee-Slaugh ponders the situation.

You let loose a long breath from your lungs, exhaling slowly.

In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "It took many people and a lot of effort on my part to... even realize I was actually worth something."

With a frown, Filib Shee-Slaugh says, "Of course, cousin. How silly to think otherwise..."

You tilt your head and listen intently to Filib Shee-Slaugh.

In dark, lyrical tones, you ask, "What do you mean?"

Filib Shee-Slaugh looks up at you in confusion for a moment, "To think that you weren't worth something..."

You have emoted: Esei tilts their head, frowning slightly. "Perhaps silly, yes. But not uncommon, in my experience."

Filib Shee-Slaugh puts his hands on his hips and goes "Hmmm!"

[Esei becomes faeling.]

You tilt your head and listen intently to Filib Shee-Slaugh.

Filib Shee-Slaugh blinks in surprise as your form changes to become closer in statute to his own. "Hmm..." he whispers. "I did not realize that was true of anyo-- of some in the forest."

You have emoted: Esei lightly touches their fingers to Filib Shee-Slaugh's shoulder, their wings sending a brief cascade of black and silver sparks as they move. "Do you have doubts, cousin?"

Filib Shee-Slaugh blinks.

His voice a whisper, Filib Shee-Slaugh says, "...me?"

You have emoted: Esei tips their head in acknowledgment, smile briefly flitting across their face.

Filib Shee-Slaugh begins to hover once more, his pale wings becoming a blur behind him. He turns to tidy up some loose supplies around the stable, several awkward moments passing before he whispers, "No..."

Softly, you say, "You still do not wear the circlet, and always claim to be far enough off the family tree you barely matter."

Filib Shee-Slaugh is very intent upon his tasks now, turned away as he finds himself very busy.

In a whisper, Filib Shee-Slaugh says, "Ah... That is... It would not do to get such a thing messy while working."

With smoky, sotto tones, you ask, "And you are not such a thing?"

In his whispering voice, Filib Shee-Slaugh says, "Well that is my job, cousin.."

You have emoted: Esei frowns, crossing their arms. "Yes, that is true," they concede. They tap a foot lightly on the loam as they think. "But -you- are the Shee-Slaugh. The circlet is just a representation of how much you embody that, and it was long overdue regardless."

Filib Shee-Slaugh fiddles with the edge of his smock, attempting to smooth out a wrinkle that doesn't exist.

With smoky, sotto tones, you say to Filib Shee-Slaugh, "You are important, Filib, not just to me, or our family, or the Glomdoring. But because you are a person."

Finally relenting, Filib Shee-Slaugh says, "Yes, cousin...."

You have emoted: Esei gently places a hand on Filib Shee-Slaugh's shoulder, squeezing. "You are wyrdenkin, and you are family, and that is all you need to be."

Filib Shee-Slaugh starts in surprise at the touch, glancing back at you. He turns forward again and busies himself once more as he whispers, more softly this time, "Yes, cousin..."

You have emoted: Esei folds their arms behind their back, humming faintly. "You do not have to wear it," they say. "But it would be a step forward to self acceptance."

[Dom logs in... at the stables.]

You have emoted: Esei stands next to Filib Shee-Slaugh patiently.

Filib Shee-Slaugh blinks.

Filib Shee-Slaugh bows respectfully to Dom.

Dom's already wicked grin splits wider.

Dom bows respectfully to Filib Shee-Slaugh.

His voice echoing with whispers, Acolyte Dom Ebonrose, the Hush of Night says, "Why hello there."

[Dom leaves.]

You let loose a long breath from your lungs, exhaling slowly.

With smoky, sotto tones, you say to Filib Shee-Slaugh, "There is nothing shameful about doubting something. Just know where it comes from, and remove it."

Filib Shee-Slaugh offers only a "hmm" in response, seemingly lost in thought.

You have emoted: Esei leans against a tree, crossing their arms again.

You tilt your head back and look up at the sky.

You think to yourself: ** soft, sifting shadows, swirling into waves and tides... **.

You caress a phantasmal shroud of shadows gently.

Leaning forward, you gently press a kiss to Filib Shee-Slaugh's brow.

With smoky, sotto tones, you say to Filib Shee-Slaugh, "Rest calls. Be well, dearest cousin."

You drop a cat of black ink.

With smoky, sotto tones, you say, "Tsillah will keep company."

You grow still and begin to pray silently for preservation of your soul while you are out of the land.
You feel your insides clench as your soul is frozen.