With shadell

Shadell — 12/19/2021 7:18 PM
Hmm
emotionalAsterisk — 12/19/2021 7:22 PM
Unrelatedly I also quit the math server I was on and can't find it either. Stupid bouts of ..what ever that was.
Shadell — 12/19/2021 7:22 PM
Depression?
Self-hatred?
emotionalAsterisk — 12/19/2021 7:23 PM
Something like that. Not quite that bad, like half way between self-hatred and frustration.
Heh, I think growing up with a therapist for a step mother and having a philosophic bent has made me over specific with my emotions.
Shadell — 12/19/2021 7:24 PM
mmh
I get that
emotionalAsterisk — 12/19/2021 7:26 PM
Like I can discribe my pathological emotions very precisely, but it doesn't seem to actually help manage them, or their causes.
Shadell — 12/19/2021 7:26 PM
It doesn't
Knowing how you feel or that feeling that way is silly often doesn't help feeling better tbh
Mostly just a good way to feel guilty for feeling bad on top of feeling bad in my experience.
tumblr?
Trans-tumblr is pretty big
emotionalAsterisk — 12/19/2021 7:28 PM
I do wish most presentations of BCT didn't rub up against my honesty obsesion so baddly.
That is not a terrible idea!
Its weird I haven't been to therapy in like close to two years and I only sort of miss it.
Shadell — 12/19/2021 7:32 PM
mmh hmm
Sometimes it's not that useful if you're already introspective imo
And you don't find one who clicks right
emotionalAsterisk — 12/19/2021 7:41 PM
It feels like they basically go one of three ways for me: I make an ambitious plan of attack for some problem, get excited and fired up, and then promptly forget over the next few hours; get super frustrated at having the same damn conversation again and feel worse, or relive all the things I am bitter about how they went down and get angry.
Shadell — 12/19/2021 7:42 PM
mmh
I can get that
emotionalAsterisk — 12/19/2021 7:43 PM
Sorry to vent.
Shadell — 12/19/2021 7:43 PM
No!
Please feel free
I'm happy to be a sounding board