(NOTE FROM GLIP: I have copied Marl's whole letter from his account to mine so that I can ensure it won't be edited or changed without me knowing about it. I think you will be able to understand why after reading this all.)

I am Marl, former partner of glip. They are moving on without me, and they are one-hundred percent right to do so. I have abused their trust over and over, so many times, over the course of an entire decade. The least I can do for them now is to finally address rumors that I've allowed to circulate unchallenged over the years.

I am not a pedophile ringleader. I do not spend my time grooming potential victims. I have never attempted to get a child who lived next door to visit my house for sex. I will never do that. I have no interest in children. The person circulating these rumors knows who they are. They've done this before, to other people. And for the longest time I was too afraid to say they were lying. I didn't want them to make up more rumors in retaliation. I thought - stupidly - that if I just stayed silent and ignored them long enough, they would go away. But that's never how it works.

It would have been easy for me to refute the rumors when they started, but I didn't. I allowed those rumors to grow and grow, because that's what happens if you don't stand up and say something. The rumors just get worse, and people begin to believe they must all be true.

My cowardice forced glip to become the public face of the rumors targeting me, and my failure to act has tainted their name and their creations. And every time glip defended me, my silence and unwillingness to do anything about the rumors made it appear like they defended and supported a child predator.

I was too afraid of everything, and I let that fear control my life. It began to infect the people I love and everyone who'd ever talked to me. I was not a good partner, and I was not a good friend.

I had sexual fantasies involving dogs, a long time ago. For the longest time I failed to realize how abusive that fetish was. I would talk about it to people at the drop of a hat if I thought they had even the slightest bit of interest in or curiosity about the subject. I wanted to be seen as cool and experienced, so I would make up stories in which I'd turned my fantasies into realities. It was all an effort to get people to like me, or think I was interesting. I know how dumb that is, but it's what I genuinely believed at the time. I lied to get people to like me.

I had a dog at one point, and I began to include him in these lies. I finally realized that I didn't want to act on these fantasies, not really, so I gave him away to someone who actually cares about him. I no longer have those fantasies. I am ashamed I ever had them, and I am ashamed for telling stories about them.

I never told glip about any of that. The only thing I ever told glip was that it was a very minor kink, something fun to see in furry art but something I would never ever do in real life, no way. I never told them the truth. I never told them who I was talking to. I never told them what I was talking about. I did my very best to keep them in utter darkness. I knew that if glip found out, I would have to look at my actions and their consequences and I was too afraid to do that.

So when more rumors about me began to surface, glip still defended me because they truly believed I was completely innocent of them. And I was, for the most part. But because glip didn't know who I had talked to, or what I had talked about, they had no idea what to do or say when actually confronted by the rumors. It made glip look like a giant fucking creep who sheltered not only a child predator, but also an animal abuser.

And still, I allowed glip to defend me. I allowed them to take the entire burden of the internet rumor-mill. I watched as it threatened to destroy our lives, and I watched as it made glip's name become inseparable from me and my failures. Their defense of me has cost them several friendships. And I still did nothing about it. I was a coward. Saying that doesn't make it okay, and it never will be okay. But it is the truth.

I have also come to realize I pressured people into talking to me, whether it was about sex or anything else. I assumed that people would be fine with saying "No, I don't want to talk about this" or "This makes me uncomfortable", but that's an awful assumption, and it's horrible for me to have made it. I should have been more sensitive to what other people wanted. But I never thought about what other people wanted - my mindset was always "just talk about literally anything. the other person will surely say something if they don't want to talk."

When people began to post chat logs of me doing this, I understood exactly what it was I'd done. Yes, all of the logs have been edited in ways to make me look extra shitty and creepy, and made it look like glip and eevee were complicit in everything I did. But they weren't complicit, because I never told them anything.

But despite all that, the logs do not lie when it comes to the basic reality that I pressured people into talking about things they didn't want to talk about. I know now that what I thought were fun fantasy talks were incredibly high-pressure, aggressive situations. Nobody should ever have to go through that.

One person I spoke with at length, while of age, was young enough that there was a clear imbalance of life experience and power. The age gap was simply too large. I didn't think of any of that at the time, choosing instead to believe since that it was just online, it was okay. I later realized how creepy and inappropriate everything I had talked about was, and I apologized to them for my actions and did not contact them again. This was years before any of these rumors began. And I never discussed sex or sex-related topics with anyone underage.

I realize now how difficult it is to say "No" to someone. Especially to someone like me, who held a decent amount of power in the community I resided in. I never thought I was abusing my position to get people to talk to me, but I know now that what I think doesn't matter. What matters is the fact that I did abuse my position. Intentional or not, it still does damage, and it's still an awful, awful thing to do.

And I still didn't tell glip about any of this. I told them nothing. They tried to get me to tell them, for years. They always wanted to know what I was up to, what I was doing. I would always respond with lies that even I believed.

I had asked that glip not talk about me to anyone, under the false hope that it would allow me to feel safe enough to open up to them about things I felt and thought. This was a terrible, awful  thing to ask. And yet I asked it, and glip did it because they thought it would help me. I deprived glip of any kind of outlet they could have used to express their own thoughts and feelings. They never had the opportunity for a friend or loved one to go "hey, what he's doing is fucked up. don't put up with it."

And all it ever did was compound my fear of talking, and of being talked about. If I had even the slightest suspicion that glip was speaking about me to someone, anyone, I would spiral into self-obsessed depression. This is all I ever gave glip for their efforts.

Glip also couldn't vent about the lies and false rumors surrounding them, even in their own house. If they did, or if I even suspected they did or were about to, I would shut down and become almost entirely unresponsive to anything they said or did. Not just for that brief time period, but often for days. My self-pitying cowardly aura infected everyone in the house, and taught glip they couldn't talk about anything to anyone, anywhere. Not to their friends, not to their peers, not to me, and not even to eevee. They had nothing, no outlet at all. I made it like that. And it did very real damage to them.

I was not good for them. I lied to them constantly, about everything. I let them defend me when I should have defended myself. I let them become affiliated with every shitty thing I've done or said. I let them spend so much of their time and energy on me and I would always give them nothing in return.

It is completely my fault they are moving on without me. I know this. They have never done anything wrong. All they did was try and try and try, and I only ever punished them for it.

This confession doesn't make it all okay. I can never make it okay. I have no excuse for what I have done. I just hope it brings some kind of closure to anyone who reads it.

To the people I frightened, made uncomfortable, or pressured, I am sorry. To the people who tried to be my friend and I abused their trust, I am sorry. To the people who liked floraverse and were turned away from it because of rumors surrounding glip, I am sorry. Glip did nothing. The rumors began because of everything I did. I did my best, my very best, to make sure glip didn't know anything. I lied so much, just so that they wouldn't know what I had been doing. That's the kind of person I was.

I caused so much damage to someone who cared so fucking much! It fucking hurts to even think about how much they cared. I have never in my life met anyone who cared as much or as deeply about fucking anything as glip cared for me. I will never meet someone with the same capacity for love as glip has.

They gave me their life, their trust, their love, and I ruined it. And they gave it all to me again and again and again, for ten entire fucking years, and for ten entire fucking years all I did was punish them for making the effort.

They only ever wanted me to show that I cared and loved them back. That's all they fucking wanted, and I never did it! I said it, but I never really showed it. All they had to go on was my word, which was fucking worthless.

I am logging off now, for good. No one has to worry for their safety around me, because I will no longer be around. No one has to worry about me being shitty anymore, because I will no longer be around.

To glip and eevee, I am sorry, so sorry that I ruined what should have been nothing but happy times. You both gave me your best for so long, for so fucking long, and all I ever gave you was my worst.

Goodbye.