Zaraki Kenpachi: I'll be honest in saying I've been pretty... out of it, since I spilled all my angst. I actually wanted to get back with you for a while, but every time I talked to you, you were with someone already, or when you broke up with someone, I thought you'd want some time to yourself, and then you're back with someone else. I just sort of got lost along the way. I don't try to get in the middle of people's relationships when they're with someone, so I let things go how they do. I was sort of trying to give you subtle hints, since i'm not the best at it, but you kept saying things like "we're better as friends" so I thought you were just cuing me that you weren't interested. Then lately, I just watch you say you're going to do something, you're going to stop doing things,

Zaraki Kenpachi: You're going to not care, not get involved in the drama, but you keep going back to it. You keep going back to people that hurt you or upset you or send you down a spiral no matter how I tell you not to go. You just do it anyway, even when you tell yourself you won't. You tell me you're sad, lonely, upset, but you keep putting yourself in positions where you make yourself vulnerable to that kind of thing. For example, you always talk about how badly your relationships are in the chat rooms; that's just inviting people to comment or ridicule for it and I never understood why you'd do that. I guess just knowing you do that and then telling me the "publicily humiliation" comment was like a slap in the face. I don't know. But, hearing that you were just OUT of a relationship,

Zaraki Kenpachi: and then already hooking up with Kaz was what broke me, even if you weren't sure. I don't know how you can't be sure with something like that. You just move so fast, and I don't know how you can do that, whether you think it's stupid or not. I spent a lot of time talking about what happened with a friend, and I spent a while thinking about it to myself. And I know that no matter how much I want to be with you in that manner, you're not helping yourself. I can't always pick up the pieces and try to fix you. I damn well try, I do what I can when you need help, I'm there to support you and listen when you need it, but I just can't keep it up forever. You need to take care of yourself first Court. It just feels like, to me, you're getting into relationships so that someone else will fix all

Zaraki Kenpachi: the pain, so that you don't have to feel it anymore. But even if we love you, we can't just stop your hurting. You have to think about why you're sad. Why, what is it that's making you fall into this despair? And you have to come to terms with it. You need to understand what it is that you want, what you need, emotionally and everything, in order to really become happy. I just think you don't know right now, and I've been dragging myself down with you because I do care about you and I don't want you hurting alone. That's how I know no matter how much I do love you, I'd never be able to make you ultimately happy. I've spent so long trying, but you fall right back into place. I'm not enough to force you to move, if you're not willing to move as well. I don't know what else to say.

Zaraki Kenpachi: this would have been a bitch to text out, so you're just going to get this. But I have to let go. I don't know if it'll be forever or just temporary, but I can't be your leaning post forever. You have to get up and take that step for yourself, and put yourself back together before I can consider it. I really think you should stop and think like I did. What do you want? What makes you happy? Who makes you happy? Are you willing to help yourself for them or it or whatever it is that makes you happy? When you find the thing that you do want to straighten out for, then work for it. I didn't mean to make you cry. I just don't know what to do anymore.