Fagdude

(New Kid) Truth or Dare (3)

Jan 21st, 2013
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  1. >Day So I've got a plan journal!
  2. >And it's gonna work.
  3. >I even borrowed a book from Twilight about it cus I don't wanna make a mess'a'things.
  4. >Oh right, it's Applebloom again.
  5. >You been talking to other girls journal?
  6. >Who else would it be?
  7. >...maybe I ought to get a lock on ya. Just in case.
  8. >So I'm good and all.
  9. >I got all my chores done early and I made a pie and
  10. >Oh wait! I had a plan I was gonna tell y'all about!
  11. >And it's a good one too, journal.
  12. >I got a book and everything.
  13. >I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself.
  14. >I'm just excited and all.
  15. >You wanna know why journal?
  16. >Course you do.
  17. >It's Saturday!
  18. >And I'm gonna invite Anonymous over for a sleepover!
  19. >Me, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Mr. Handsome himself.
  20. >I already told Applejack and Big Mac and Granny Smith about it.
  21. >Applejack think's it'll be a swell idea!
  22. >Granny Smith is gonna bake cookies.
  23. >Big Mac didn't really say nothing.
  24. >I don't think he thinks I'm old enough for a boy-girl sleepover.
  25. >But shoot, it's just a sleepover.
  26. >Nothing bad's gonna happen.
  27. >Twilight's book says we get to tell scary stories
  28. >--I got a real good one that'll make Scootaloo go all crazy like that time we went camping.
  29. >And we get to fight with pillows.
  30. >And all sorts of other stuff I already knew to do on sleepovers.
  31. >But y'know having a book makes it official.
  32. >And it's got a chapter on truth or dare.
  33. >Gotta know all the rules so I can snag'em.
  34. >Wanna know a secret journal?
  35. >I'm gonna dare him to--
  36. "Shoot, if I go now and write it down I might jinx myself."
  37. >Darn! Well, I'll tell you how it goes later journal!
  38. >I gotta prepare.
  39. >And invite him.
  40. >I really should've done that first.
  41. >I'm gonna cry something fierce if he says he doesn't wanna come.
  42. >But first, I gotta play this cool and sweet.
  43.  
  44. >Twilight won't let you in the library.
  45. >She says Anonymous is busy learning cultural appreciation.
  46. "Well shucks! I can help with that, I got an A- on my Founding of Ponyville presentation!"
  47. >She's sweating awful fierce.
  48. >She's got a weird smile too.
  49. >You can see Spike just sitting on the ground laughing at something.
  50. "Hey! Anonymoos! It's Applebloom!"
  51. >You think you hear him say hello.
  52. >But Twilight magics ya back a few steps.
  53. >You stomp right back where you were.
  54. "Hey!"
  55. >"He's busy Applebloom! And he's going to be busy all weekend until he gets it right."
  56. "Well what'd he get so -wrong- in the first place?"
  57. >Her eyes does that little twitchy thing it does.
  58. >It did that back when she told you all about this really ugly doll she had.
  59. >That whole day is kind of a blur.
  60. >Weirdo unicorn magic.
  61. >"He...just doesn't appreciate certain factors and I'm trying to teach him better."
  62. >She's not budging.
  63. >Looks like you're going to have to turn on the charm.
  64. >You make your lip quiver.
  65. >Give her those big puppy dog eyes.
  66. >Make yourself tremble like a babe in the woods on a cold night.
  67. "But you just GOTTA let'em come to the sleepover."
  68. >Twilight huffs and tries to look away.
  69. >You've got her in your sights.
  70. >She'll just melt.
  71. >"Okay. Fine. FINE. Hey Anonymous!"
  72. >You hear a grumble from behind her.
  73. >"You're going to a sleepover tonight."
  74. >"...can I dress normal?"
  75. >What.
  76. >You try to look around Twilight.
  77. >Oh Gosh.
  78. >"What's not normal about what you're wearing now?"
  79. >Oh golly. He's all naked.
  80. >And he's got a really terrible wig on.
  81. >And he's got a cutie mark painted on his tushie.
  82. >Spike laughs.
  83. >Anonymous sees you and quickly covers himself up with the wig.
  84. >"Applebloom, don't look at me. I'm naked and stuff."
  85. >"That's not very appreciative of my culture, Anonymous."
  86. >Holy crow.
  87. >He's got such strong legs.
  88. >And such a firm tush.
  89. >He could probably BUCK...apples...all day!
  90.  
  91. >You are Anonymous.
  92. >Twilight said she'd get groceries if you participated in a cultural activity.
  93. >So she stripped you with magic and tossed a wig made out of her mane clippings on your head.
  94. >And painted something on your ass.
  95. >And she refused to let you do anything else until Applebloom showed up.
  96. >Spike sat there like a chucklehead.
  97. >You're probably going to beat him up.
  98. >Someday.
  99. >This entire exercise just reeks of fetishistic exploitation.
  100. >Twilight keeps looking you over like you're some piece of meat.
  101. >Or maybe a good book.
  102. >It's really...super...awkward.
  103. >Which is the polite way to say that your theory on all the mares in this town being crazy.
  104. >And by crazy you mean crazy and also trying to screw you.
  105. >Seems less farfetched than you hoped.
  106. >Or hey, maybe this is some psychotic cultural thing.
  107. >And it only looks ugly and terrifying because you're a human being.
  108. "Twilight, I'm going to go put my pants on now."
  109. >She sighs.
  110. >"You should be comfortable in your body, Anonymous."
  111. "I'm more comfortable in pants."
  112. >"...is it because you don't look like the rest of us?"
  113. >You don't even respond to that.
  114. >Applebloom is staring at your butt.
  115. >You just mooned a kid.
  116. >You go to your closet and put on some clothing.
  117. >"You know I could probably turn you into a pony if you'd like Anonymous."
  118. >That stops you as you put your socks on.
  119. >That seems like something that'll lead to an almost I Have No Mouth But I Must Scream situation.
  120. >Or maybe it'd just hurt a ton.
  121. >And you sorta like how you look.
  122. >You exit the closet.
  123. "I'll pass, Twilight."
  124. >"I'm going to look up the spell anyhow."
  125. "I said I'll pass, please do not waste your time-"
  126. >"Oh it's no trouble at all!"
  127. >Twilight makes her way to her study.
  128. >Spike loses interest in this now that you're no longer humiliating yourself.
  129. >You try to clear the air.
  130. >Change the subject.
  131.  
  132. "Howdy Applebloom."
  133. >She smiles big and wide.
  134. >"Howdy fellow crusader! Ready for the sleepover?"
  135. "Well I just heard about it and...any chance you won't tell the girls about this?"
  136. >"But I already told'em about the Sleepover! Plus Big Mac wouldn't like a-"
  137. "I meant the whole...naked...wig thing."
  138. >She blushes.
  139. >"Well shoot no! That'll be a secret."
  140. >She motions you to come closer.
  141. >You approach and get down real low.
  142. >She motions even closer.
  143. >And then at full volume in your ear.
  144. >"Just between you and me Anonymoos!"
  145. "Swell."
  146. >You make your way outside and she trots alongside you with a happy prance.
  147. >"So what was your cutie-mark Anonymoos?"
  148. "It was something stupid."
  149. >"Was it lawn ornament repair?"
  150. >That gets a laugh from you.
  151. "What?"
  152. >"Big Mac says that's the absolute worst one you can get!"
  153. "Like..fixing those pink flamingos and ugly little borderline racist jockey statues?"
  154. >"Eyup!"
  155. "Nah. Twilight painted her face on it."
  156. >Applebloom bursts into giggles.
  157. >"How's Twilight a special talent? You gonna be all dorky and book-lovin' now?"
  158. "Well, I don't mind books. But I'd be terrified if she was my special talent."
  159. >Mostly because of what on not-God's technicolor Green Earth it'd represent.
  160. >You shudder to think.
  161. >Though it'd explain why she always storms off angry.
  162. >And why Spike has to sleep in your closet.
  163. >And why she smells like old milk and pennies.
  164. >...eww.
  165. >"Anonymoos didja mess yourself or something?"
  166. "What? No!"
  167. >"Cus you're making a face that's all sorta..."
  168. >She does her best zombie face.
  169. >Tongue rolls out.
  170. >One eye open.
  171. >The other one twitchy closed.
  172. >She makes a gaggy noise.
  173. "Sorry, just had a gross thought."
  174. >"Well shoot, no time for those Anonymoos! We gotta get the girls and get ready!"
  175. "It's barely after noon. Literally it is barely even afternoon."
  176. >"Hush, I aim to do this right."
  177. "Lead on then oh Crusader-captain."
  178.  
  179. >Carousel Boutique is swanky.
  180. >You follow Applebloom in and you feel under-dressed for the occasion.
  181. >And Applebloom's just wearing a bow.
  182. >Rarity, the white unicorn who runs this place is looking overworked.
  183. >She's got all these huge and pompous looking dresses on mannequins.
  184. >Very Napoleonic.
  185. >Applebloom keeps looking up at you and smiling.
  186. >You nod at her.
  187. >Sweetie Belle is just laying on the ground and doodling some picture.
  188. >Humming a tune to herself.
  189. >Applebloom nudges you.
  190. "Uh...okay? Hi Sweetie Belle."
  191. >"Hi Anonymous! Hi Applebloom!"
  192. >She's got a big grin on her face.
  193. >"Howdy Sweetie Belle, you ready for the big sleepover?"
  194. >Rarity looks you over as soon as the phrase sleepover is heard.
  195. >"I sure am, Applebloom! Is Anonymous going to be there?"
  196. >You nod a little.
  197. "Wouldn't miss it. Might be a refreshing bit of sanity."
  198. >They both giggle.
  199. >Rarity seems to be grinning.
  200. >"Oh no darling, you cannot be telling me you're going to be sleeping in the wild with these...children!"
  201. >Sweetie Belle goes full on Charlie Brown EUGH.
  202. >"RARITY, he's my friend not your friend!"
  203. >Rarity glares at Sweetie Belle.
  204. >Sweetie Belle glares back.
  205. >Rarity falters.
  206. >Well all right. Go Sweetie Belle.
  207. >You knew where this conversation was going.
  208. >Rarity sighs.
  209. >"Well where is your little campout going to be?"
  210. >Sweetie Belle looks at Applebloom and grins.
  211. >Applebloom winks at you.
  212. >"Well shucks, Rarity. We're gonna go build us some tents up in the mudder fields. Maybe wrestle some piggies too. Anonymoos loves that don'tcha?"
  213. >You shrug your shoulders and smirk.
  214. "I make them squeal, much like piggies are want to squeal."
  215. >The girls laugh.
  216. >Rarity sighs.
  217. >"...are you sure you don't perhaps want to all camp here? Maybe we could share a bottle of wine--"
  218. >Sweetie Belle shrieks.
  219. >"Rarity, stop being a creepy cougar-pony!"
  220. >Rarity feigns a gasp.
  221. "This is all very amusing ladies, but we should go pick up Scootaloo shouldn't we?"
  222. >Applebloom gasps.
  223. >"Shucks, we ought to! Good thing you're on top of business fellow crusader!"
  224. >You depart from the boutique.
  225. >Sweetie Belle has joined the party.
  226.  
  227. >Applebloom and Sweetie Belle start to lead you out of town.
  228. >Sweetie Belle keeps jawing about how much fun this is going to be.
  229. >How she's gonna make popcorn.
  230. >And how she's gonna do her hair.
  231. >And how they can read scary stories.
  232. >And how they'll sing songs.
  233. >And redecorate the club house.
  234. >And after a bit it sounds like she's just making woof sounds.
  235. >You shake your head for a second, attempting to concentrate.
  236. >No, she's not woofing.
  237. >Just listing stuff she thinks might sound cool.
  238. >"That's great an'all Sweetie Belle, but I don't think we can build a trey-bu-shay."
  239. >"It's a trΓ©buchet. GASP! Applebloom, Anonymous, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
  240. "No."
  241. >"YES."
  242. >In unison, of course.
  243. >"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER SIEGE DEMOLITION EXPERTS!"
  244. >You give a thumbs up.
  245. >They cheer.
  246. >You approach Fluttershy's house.
  247. "Uh, why're we here?"
  248. >Sweetie Belle grins at you.
  249. >"Scootaloo wanted to get a turtle!"
  250. >Applebloom rolls her eyes.
  251. >"Now that's just silly."
  252. "...why can turtles talk or something?"
  253. >"Shoot no! She just wants to be all like her hero."
  254. "Oh. Her hero is a turtle?"
  255. >This gets them both to laugh.
  256. >You follow them around back and holy crap in a cupcake.
  257. >That's a lot more animals than you remember from when you tried to clean her pipes.
  258. >Scootaloo is playing with a very ornery looking alligator snapping turtle.
  259. >Fluttershy is trying to convince her that's the incorrect choice.
  260. >You look at them both.
  261. >Scootaloo waves to you and the girls.
  262. >Fluttershy blushes.
  263. >...all you can do is try not to remember the smell and taste of that vagina and clitoris.
  264. >Eugh.
  265. >Damn you brain.
  266. >Why must you have memories?
  267.  
  268. >"Sheesh Scootaloo, ain't that one of those snapper turtles?"
  269. >Scootaloo nods.
  270. >"I'm gonna call him Crusty Pete."
  271. >Sweetie Belle thinks this is all absolutely disgusting.
  272. >Fluttershy flies over to you and puts her hooves on your shoulders.
  273. >"...h-hi An--anonymous...I'm uhm..Fl-Fluttershy."
  274. >This is the...fourth time she's introduced herself?
  275. "Hi."
  276. >"I'm so-so-so sorry about what happened before...it was an accident and uhm..."
  277. >She just mumbles and looks away.
  278. >Applebloom is glaring up at Fluttershy.
  279. >"Hey Fluttershy, don'tchu got some bunny washing to do r'something?"
  280. >"Oh no..I washed them all this morning."
  281. >Scootaloo squawks out a yelp.
  282. >"HELL-O! Fluttershy, can I take Crusty Pete home with me or what?"
  283. "...Applebloom, I don't feel comfortable sleeping in the same room as a vicious predatory beast."
  284. >Scootaloo smirks.
  285. >"Anonymous is sleeping with us?"
  286. >Fluttershy's cheeks turn bright red and she starts sweating.
  287. >"Oh-uhm-uhm-look at the time girls, you can pick up Crusty Pete t-t-tomorrow...if that's okay with you."
  288. >"Yeah sure fine whatever."
  289. >Scootaloo trots over to Sweetie Belle and Applebloom.
  290. >Fluttershy forces a smile and twitches a little.
  291. >"Uhm...Applebloom, could I see you inside for a moment?"
  292. >"Shoot. Fine. Crusaders, let's take a fiver."
  293. "A fiver?"
  294. >Applebloom nods and then departs with Fluttershy.
  295. >Eugh.
  296. >You can still taste it.
  297.  
  298. >You are Applebloom.
  299. >Fluttershy's house smells worse than the guest room when cousin Braeburn comes over with a business partner.
  300. >Aww shoot, he's supposed to be here this weekend too.
  301. >You'll probably get the guilt trip cus you're having a sleepover rather than talking farm business.
  302. >Phooey.
  303. >What was Fluttershy saying?
  304. >"..y-you should be c-careful..."
  305. "With what?"
  306. >"With...An-anonymous, he's n-not a pony."
  307. "Well o'course he's not a pony! He doesn't have any hooves."
  308. >"That's...well yeah he doesn't have hooves, but what I mean is that maybe you shouldn't invite him for your little sleepover."
  309. >Fluttershy, you're a hussie.
  310. >And a hussie can't be a hustler.
  311. >And you hustle apples with the best of'em.
  312. >Cept that one time you ruined a tennis racket.
  313. >But that was different.
  314. "Well where would he go?"
  315. >You give her the big sad eyes.
  316. >"Oh..we-well he could stay here...I mean, I guess it'd be fun and--"
  317. "I KNEW IT!"
  318. >Fluttershy recoils a little.
  319. "Ya shouldn't a told me you thought he was cute Fluttershy cus now I know y'all can't be trusted to talk about him cus now you've got them ulterior motives!"
  320. >She mumbles something.
  321. "Shucks, and don'tcha think for a minute I didn't see what you were doing with him during the cutie mark crusader initiation ceremony!"
  322. >She blushes like a babe in the woods on a winter day with a bad sunburn who is also a lobster!
  323. >Huff! She is red.
  324. "That's right, now why don'tcha go back to playin' with your bunnies and not try and ruin this for me."
  325. >You stick your chin up at her.
  326. >You told her off!
  327. >Applejack would be proud of you!
  328. >Or maybe really mad because she and Fluttershy are good friends.
  329. >Aww shoot, this might blow up on your butt.
  330. >Phooey.
  331. "I mean...it's just a sleepover. He isn't gonna do nothing."
  332. >That's not true though, cus you've got a book and you know exactly what he's gonna do.
  333. >Fluttershy grumbles.
  334. >"I'm gonna tell Applejack to check in on you."
  335. "Fine! She'd do it anyway!"
  336. >Fluttershy snaps at ya.
  337. >"Fine! Maybe I'll CHECK in on you!"
  338. "DO IT LADY!"
  339. >"I'm go-gonna DO IT FILLY!...if that's okay with you..."
  340. "Well it ain't!"
  341. >"Well I'm gonna do it anyway so...sorry."
  342. >You storm outta there.
  343.  
  344. >You leave with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo and Anonymous in tow.
  345. >He's the caboose on this little crusader train.
  346. >Which makes you the line leader.
  347. >Sweetie Belle gets right up next to you.
  348. >"How come you look all mad, Applebloom?"
  349. "Ssh...we gotta whisper this."
  350. >"What're we whispering?"
  351. >Scootaloo shouts.
  352. >You bite your lip at this derp in the plans.
  353. >Anonymous doesn't seem to be paying attention.
  354. >Scootaloo runs up to your other side.
  355. >"What're we whispering about?"
  356. "Can y'all keep a secret?"
  357. >They nod.
  358. "Now it's a super secret."
  359. >They nod.
  360. "Cross your heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in your eye, and if what y'all is doing now is a lie you're gonna make this crusader cry."
  361. >They repeat.
  362. >"What's the secret?" Sweetie Belle says all conspiring-like.
  363. "Okay...I gotsa a big ol'crush on Anonymoos."
  364. >They both look at one another.
  365. >"Yeah we sorta figured that out already." Scoots says like it was nothing.
  366. >"Well I think it's cute! He's got such a pretty mane." Sweetie Belle says like you're one of her sister's romance characters in those books with the stallions what got weird hair and stand on cliffs.
  367. "Well EXCUSE ME! I thought I was being all private and stuff, what gave it away?"
  368. >Anonymous looks down at you.
  369. >"What gave what away?"
  370. "UH. UH. UH....Moonshine gravy!"
  371. >"Moonshine...gravy?"
  372. >Scootaloo just laughs at this outburst.
  373. >Sweetie Belle tries not to laugh but fails.
  374. >You're dumber than a sack of hammers Applebloom.
  375. "I mean...S'nothing! You just go on back to whistling or walking or whatever."
  376. >"Okay."
  377. >He starts whistling a sweet little diddy.
  378. >Oh those lips of his are all velvety soft and they look tastier than fritters.
  379. >"It was a combination of the drooling--which you're doing now." Scootaloo whispers.
  380. >"And how you looked when you saw him without a shirt on." Sweetie Belle winks.
  381. "Aww shucks...Can I tell you about the plan then?"
  382. >They both nod.
  383. "We're all gonna play truth'r'dare...and I'm gonna make him kiss me."
  384. >They both gasp and laugh.
  385. >This is gonna be great.
  386.  
  387. >You and the girls and Anonymous get to Sweet Apple Acres in no time.
  388. >You head on up to the clubhouse but Applejack is standing there by the door of it.
  389. >Aww shoot, this can't be good.
  390. >"Well howdy y'all, now Big Mac just wanted me to make sure nothing funny was gonna happen."
  391. >She tips her hat back and smiles at Anonymous.
  392. >He nods.
  393. >"I...trust me, I don't even qualify for laughter."
  394. >Applejack grins at this.
  395. >"Shoot, I know that. You seem like a right nice fella. Big Mac's just worried because this here's Applebloom's first boy-girl sleepover."
  396. >She gives you a noogie.
  397. >He snickers a little.
  398. >Oh no, he's gonna think you're some lame kid cus you've never been to one before.
  399. >Everything is ruined.
  400. >Applejack, how come you had to say something?
  401. >Big Mac, you're gonna find your stupid doll in the corn field.
  402. >"Well hey, I'll be nothing but a gentleman. I assure you."
  403. >Anonymous bows a little.
  404. >Applejack laughs.
  405. >Oh Gosh.
  406. >He's all courteous and stuff.
  407. >"Now why don't y'all get settled in, have some fun. You get any trouble, just holler and we'll come runnin'!"
  408. >Applejack puts her hat on your head before she trots off to the farmhouse.
  409. >Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle rush on into the clubhouse.
  410. "..t-thanks Anonymoos."
  411. >"Hey it's no problem. She's concerned for you, that's cool."
  412. >He smiles and it's like he's saying something without saying it.
  413. "You gonna head on in there?"
  414. >"...am I going to get tied down again?"
  415. >He's got such a nice handsome smile.
  416. "Shoot Anonymoos, you don't get in there right now and I'll hog tie ya myself!"
  417. >That might'a been too much.
  418. >"I'd pay to see that."
  419. >You blush up redder than a rose.
  420. >He goes inside.
  421. "Golly."
  422.  
  423. >The night goes on all nice and stuff.
  424. >Playing board games.
  425. >Sweetie Belle's too self-conscious to sing a song.
  426. >Scootaloo isn't, but she really ought to be.
  427. >Anonymous joins in.
  428. >He's a terrible singer, but it's funny.
  429. >Eventually it gets dark out and all you got is a couple jars of fireflies.
  430. "Okay, now's when we play truth or dare."
  431. >The girls nod and smile.
  432. >Anonymous frowns.
  433. >"Do we have to?"
  434. >Oh no.
  435. >He probably hates this game.
  436. >Shoot, now he's gonna hate you.
  437. >But you just GOTTA play it because--
  438. >"You can ask first Anonymous." Sweetie says with a grin.
  439. >Well that'll do it.
  440. >"Okay. So uh...Scootaloo, truth or dare?"
  441. >Scootaloo rolls her eyes.
  442. >"Dare."
  443. >"I dare you to...eat a jar of those fireflies."
  444. >She kicks him in the arm.
  445. >"I said Truth."
  446. >He nods a little.
  447. >"Okay...Why's your hero a turtle?"
  448. >She looks at him like he's all daft and silly.
  449. >"My hero's Rainbow Dash. She's not a turtle."
  450. >"Oh. Dang. Well, your turn."
  451. >You grin at Scootaloo.
  452. >C'mon, Filly. DO IT.
  453. >"All right Anonymous. Truth. Or Dare?"
  454. >"Truth?"
  455. >Sweetie Belle bellows. "OH COME ON!"
  456. >Anonymous looks at her weird and shrugs.
  457. >"Okay...dare?"
  458. >"Scootaloo grins all nasty.
  459. >"I dare you to spend the night in the Everfree forest!"
  460. "Shoot Anonymoos, you're not doing that."
  461. >"Why not?"
  462. "It's all dangerous and spooky and stuff. He doesn't have to do it if it's spooky!"
  463. >Scootaloo rolls her eyes.
  464. >"Fine."
  465. >"Well uh...another dare then?"
  466. >Scootaloo shrugs.
  467. >"Yeah like...I dunno. Rub Sweetie Belle."
  468. >Scootaloo I'm gonna punch you.
  469. >"Rub her?"
  470. >"...rub me?"
  471. >"Yeah, like what her sister pays a ton of bits to have done at the spa."
  472. >Scootaloo he ain't suppose to be rubbing anyone but me!
  473. >Sweetie Belle smiles awkwardly.
  474. >"You mean...massage?"
  475. >Anonymous just shrugs.
  476. >"Fine. But let's not make this weird."
  477.  
  478. >Anonymous starts rubbing Sweetie Belle's backside all romantic and stuff.
  479. >Scootaloo you're a bad friend and a traitor to the ranks of the crusaders!
  480. >You'll be strung up by your hooves and you'll get nothin' but nasty old pies!
  481. >Sweetie Belle smiles blissfully at you.
  482. >"Ap-p-l-le-bloom, you've g-o-tta-try-this..."
  483. >He's playing her like a xylomophone!
  484. "That's enough of that Anonymoos, you can ask me or Sweetie Belle a dare now."
  485. >Scootaloo grumbles. "What about me?"
  486. "You already got to ask'em!"
  487. >"Pfft, that's not in the rules."
  488. "Well sure, but this isn't all rule-like and stuff. It's just a game and games are fun when everybody gets to play!"
  489. >Sweetie Belle sighs when Anonymous stops rubbing her up.
  490. >"Yeah...f-fun."
  491. >He looks down at Sweetie Belle.
  492. >"Truth or dare?'
  493. >"Uhm...truth!"
  494. >"How come you called your sister a cougar-pony?"
  495. >Sweetie Belle blushes and looks right at you.
  496. >"Uhm...Uhm...Uh...Because she's got a crush on you, Anonymous."
  497. >Anonymous just groans.
  498. >"Seriously? I am not even close to being handsome enough to warrant the sorta crap I'm getting from mares in this. It's a little psychotic."
  499. >Sweetie Belle smiles.
  500. >"My turn! Applebloom, truth or dare!"
  501. "Uhm...Dare."
  502. >"I dare you to kiss Anonymous."
  503. >Sweetie Belle you are a queen amongst unicorns and a captain of industry!
  504. >You'll be awarded medals and trophies and honors and stuff.
  505. >You trot on over to Handsome and pucker up.
  506. >Close your eyes.
  507. >Come on.
  508. >DO IT.
  509. >DO IT ANONYMOUS.
  510. >COME ON.
  511. >Oh my.
  512. >You feel his lips touch yours.
  513. >They're all velvety and soft.
  514. >And you wanna stick your tongue in between them.
  515. >You open your eyes.
  516. >His are open and his lips break into an awkward smile.
  517. >You light up redder than an albino on a hot beach in the middle of July.
  518. >You feel your tongue enter his mouth.
  519. >He pulls back.
  520. >QUICK.
  521. >PRETEND YOU HAD SOMETHING IN YOUR TEETH.
  522. >"Well...that was...a kiss."
  523. >Sweetie Belle grins.
  524. >Oh gosh.
  525. >You done derped it up.
  526.  
  527. >You are Anonymous.
  528. >You just kissed a filly.
  529. >She tried to slip you tongue.
  530. >Or maybe she's picking something out of her teeth.
  531. >Well, whatever. It's a game.
  532. >And you've learned valuable information.
  533. >So it appears some of the mares in this town do seem to like you.
  534. >That's...terrible.
  535. >You just want to be normal here.
  536. >You're not into horses.
  537. >You're into people.
  538. >Applebloom looks at you all weird like.
  539. >"Uhm...Anonymous, Truth or Dare?"
  540. "Well if it's Truth there's a lot of stuff I'm not allowed to talk about. So how about dare, otherwise?"
  541. >She blushes.
  542. >"Uhm...show everyone your cutie mark!"
  543. >You quirk a brow.
  544. "I don't have a cutie mark, that's why I'm in this club."
  545. >The girls gasp.
  546. >"You got your cutie mark?"
  547. >"Is it awesome?"
  548. >"Is it lame?"
  549. >"Is it pretty?"
  550. >Applebloom tugs on your jeans.
  551. >Oh.
  552. >That cutie mark.
  553. >You stand up and walk over to the window.
  554. >You pull your pants down and moon the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
  555. >Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle laugh.
  556. >"Is that your butt?"
  557. >"Is that Twilight Sparkle on your butt?"
  558. >"What kinda nerd cutie mark is that?'
  559. >"Did you get it by living in a library?"
  560. >"Or having a pretty mane?"
  561. >They all look at Sweetie Belle.
  562. >"Twilight has a pretty mane."
  563. >You just look outside.
  564. >You swear you can hear rustling in the branches.
  565. >Almost sounds like panting.
  566. >This was a bad idea.
  567. "I'm bushed girls...maybe we should go to sleep."
  568. >They collectively sigh and awww.
  569. >But you know what's going on out there.
  570. >And it bodes ill.
  571.  
  572. >Eventually the girls all settle down.
  573. >After five more rounds of truth or dare.
  574. >Daring them to go to sleep didn't work.
  575. >You've got bows in your hair.
  576. >And you promised to teach Scootaloo how to play football.
  577. >The American kind.
  578. >The full contact kind.
  579. >You lay down in a sleeping bag by the window.
  580. >Applebloom is next to you in hers, and next to her is Scoots and Sweetie.
  581. >Applebloom whispers something to you.
  582. >You can't quite make it out.
  583. >"psst...Anonymoos."
  584. "Yeah?"
  585. >"Are you...asleep?"
  586. "...no."
  587. >"Oh. Uhm...shoot. Uhm. Uh. UH. Well...ya see. Uhm."
  588. >You glance at her.
  589. >She's almost feverishly red.
  590. "You okay?"
  591. >She nods slowly.
  592. >"You wanna...go to the sock hop with me?"
  593. "Sure."
  594. >What the hell is a sock hop?
  595. >If it means free socks, you're excited.
  596. >"So...we kissed."
  597. "Eyup. On a dare."
  598. >"Does that mean we gotta get married?"
  599. >You laugh a little.
  600. >"What?"
  601. "Nothing. No. It doesn't."
  602. >She nods a little.
  603. >"That's swell."
  604. >You look out the window.
  605. >It's a beautiful full moon night and...
  606. >And those are eyes.
  607. >EYES.
  608. >SWEET FANCY MOSES.
  609. >You get up and tap onthe window.
  610. >It opens.
  611. >Fluttershy is flapping in the air.
  612. >She's all sweaty and smells like milk and old pennies.
  613. >Oh god.
  614. >Come on.
  615. >That's just gross.
  616. >"...h-hi Anonymous...I'm fl-Fluttershy."
  617. >You close the window.
  618. >All the mares in this town are crazy.
  619. >You're going to bed before you get raped.
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