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- >Day So I've got a plan journal!
- >And it's gonna work.
- >I even borrowed a book from Twilight about it cus I don't wanna make a mess'a'things.
- >Oh right, it's Applebloom again.
- >You been talking to other girls journal?
- >Who else would it be?
- >...maybe I ought to get a lock on ya. Just in case.
- >So I'm good and all.
- >I got all my chores done early and I made a pie and
- >Oh wait! I had a plan I was gonna tell y'all about!
- >And it's a good one too, journal.
- >I got a book and everything.
- >I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself.
- >I'm just excited and all.
- >You wanna know why journal?
- >Course you do.
- >It's Saturday!
- >And I'm gonna invite Anonymous over for a sleepover!
- >Me, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Mr. Handsome himself.
- >I already told Applejack and Big Mac and Granny Smith about it.
- >Applejack think's it'll be a swell idea!
- >Granny Smith is gonna bake cookies.
- >Big Mac didn't really say nothing.
- >I don't think he thinks I'm old enough for a boy-girl sleepover.
- >But shoot, it's just a sleepover.
- >Nothing bad's gonna happen.
- >Twilight's book says we get to tell scary stories
- >--I got a real good one that'll make Scootaloo go all crazy like that time we went camping.
- >And we get to fight with pillows.
- >And all sorts of other stuff I already knew to do on sleepovers.
- >But y'know having a book makes it official.
- >And it's got a chapter on truth or dare.
- >Gotta know all the rules so I can snag'em.
- >Wanna know a secret journal?
- >I'm gonna dare him to--
- "Shoot, if I go now and write it down I might jinx myself."
- >Darn! Well, I'll tell you how it goes later journal!
- >I gotta prepare.
- >And invite him.
- >I really should've done that first.
- >I'm gonna cry something fierce if he says he doesn't wanna come.
- >But first, I gotta play this cool and sweet.
- >Twilight won't let you in the library.
- >She says Anonymous is busy learning cultural appreciation.
- "Well shucks! I can help with that, I got an A- on my Founding of Ponyville presentation!"
- >She's sweating awful fierce.
- >She's got a weird smile too.
- >You can see Spike just sitting on the ground laughing at something.
- "Hey! Anonymoos! It's Applebloom!"
- >You think you hear him say hello.
- >But Twilight magics ya back a few steps.
- >You stomp right back where you were.
- "Hey!"
- >"He's busy Applebloom! And he's going to be busy all weekend until he gets it right."
- "Well what'd he get so -wrong- in the first place?"
- >Her eyes does that little twitchy thing it does.
- >It did that back when she told you all about this really ugly doll she had.
- >That whole day is kind of a blur.
- >Weirdo unicorn magic.
- >"He...just doesn't appreciate certain factors and I'm trying to teach him better."
- >She's not budging.
- >Looks like you're going to have to turn on the charm.
- >You make your lip quiver.
- >Give her those big puppy dog eyes.
- >Make yourself tremble like a babe in the woods on a cold night.
- "But you just GOTTA let'em come to the sleepover."
- >Twilight huffs and tries to look away.
- >You've got her in your sights.
- >She'll just melt.
- >"Okay. Fine. FINE. Hey Anonymous!"
- >You hear a grumble from behind her.
- >"You're going to a sleepover tonight."
- >"...can I dress normal?"
- >What.
- >You try to look around Twilight.
- >Oh Gosh.
- >"What's not normal about what you're wearing now?"
- >Oh golly. He's all naked.
- >And he's got a really terrible wig on.
- >And he's got a cutie mark painted on his tushie.
- >Spike laughs.
- >Anonymous sees you and quickly covers himself up with the wig.
- >"Applebloom, don't look at me. I'm naked and stuff."
- >"That's not very appreciative of my culture, Anonymous."
- >Holy crow.
- >He's got such strong legs.
- >And such a firm tush.
- >He could probably BUCK...apples...all day!
- >You are Anonymous.
- >Twilight said she'd get groceries if you participated in a cultural activity.
- >So she stripped you with magic and tossed a wig made out of her mane clippings on your head.
- >And painted something on your ass.
- >And she refused to let you do anything else until Applebloom showed up.
- >Spike sat there like a chucklehead.
- >You're probably going to beat him up.
- >Someday.
- >This entire exercise just reeks of fetishistic exploitation.
- >Twilight keeps looking you over like you're some piece of meat.
- >Or maybe a good book.
- >It's really...super...awkward.
- >Which is the polite way to say that your theory on all the mares in this town being crazy.
- >And by crazy you mean crazy and also trying to screw you.
- >Seems less farfetched than you hoped.
- >Or hey, maybe this is some psychotic cultural thing.
- >And it only looks ugly and terrifying because you're a human being.
- "Twilight, I'm going to go put my pants on now."
- >She sighs.
- >"You should be comfortable in your body, Anonymous."
- "I'm more comfortable in pants."
- >"...is it because you don't look like the rest of us?"
- >You don't even respond to that.
- >Applebloom is staring at your butt.
- >You just mooned a kid.
- >You go to your closet and put on some clothing.
- >"You know I could probably turn you into a pony if you'd like Anonymous."
- >That stops you as you put your socks on.
- >That seems like something that'll lead to an almost I Have No Mouth But I Must Scream situation.
- >Or maybe it'd just hurt a ton.
- >And you sorta like how you look.
- >You exit the closet.
- "I'll pass, Twilight."
- >"I'm going to look up the spell anyhow."
- "I said I'll pass, please do not waste your time-"
- >"Oh it's no trouble at all!"
- >Twilight makes her way to her study.
- >Spike loses interest in this now that you're no longer humiliating yourself.
- >You try to clear the air.
- >Change the subject.
- "Howdy Applebloom."
- >She smiles big and wide.
- >"Howdy fellow crusader! Ready for the sleepover?"
- "Well I just heard about it and...any chance you won't tell the girls about this?"
- >"But I already told'em about the Sleepover! Plus Big Mac wouldn't like a-"
- "I meant the whole...naked...wig thing."
- >She blushes.
- >"Well shoot no! That'll be a secret."
- >She motions you to come closer.
- >You approach and get down real low.
- >She motions even closer.
- >And then at full volume in your ear.
- >"Just between you and me Anonymoos!"
- "Swell."
- >You make your way outside and she trots alongside you with a happy prance.
- >"So what was your cutie-mark Anonymoos?"
- "It was something stupid."
- >"Was it lawn ornament repair?"
- >That gets a laugh from you.
- "What?"
- >"Big Mac says that's the absolute worst one you can get!"
- "Like..fixing those pink flamingos and ugly little borderline racist jockey statues?"
- >"Eyup!"
- "Nah. Twilight painted her face on it."
- >Applebloom bursts into giggles.
- >"How's Twilight a special talent? You gonna be all dorky and book-lovin' now?"
- "Well, I don't mind books. But I'd be terrified if she was my special talent."
- >Mostly because of what on not-God's technicolor Green Earth it'd represent.
- >You shudder to think.
- >Though it'd explain why she always storms off angry.
- >And why Spike has to sleep in your closet.
- >And why she smells like old milk and pennies.
- >...eww.
- >"Anonymoos didja mess yourself or something?"
- "What? No!"
- >"Cus you're making a face that's all sorta..."
- >She does her best zombie face.
- >Tongue rolls out.
- >One eye open.
- >The other one twitchy closed.
- >She makes a gaggy noise.
- "Sorry, just had a gross thought."
- >"Well shoot, no time for those Anonymoos! We gotta get the girls and get ready!"
- "It's barely after noon. Literally it is barely even afternoon."
- >"Hush, I aim to do this right."
- "Lead on then oh Crusader-captain."
- >Carousel Boutique is swanky.
- >You follow Applebloom in and you feel under-dressed for the occasion.
- >And Applebloom's just wearing a bow.
- >Rarity, the white unicorn who runs this place is looking overworked.
- >She's got all these huge and pompous looking dresses on mannequins.
- >Very Napoleonic.
- >Applebloom keeps looking up at you and smiling.
- >You nod at her.
- >Sweetie Belle is just laying on the ground and doodling some picture.
- >Humming a tune to herself.
- >Applebloom nudges you.
- "Uh...okay? Hi Sweetie Belle."
- >"Hi Anonymous! Hi Applebloom!"
- >She's got a big grin on her face.
- >"Howdy Sweetie Belle, you ready for the big sleepover?"
- >Rarity looks you over as soon as the phrase sleepover is heard.
- >"I sure am, Applebloom! Is Anonymous going to be there?"
- >You nod a little.
- "Wouldn't miss it. Might be a refreshing bit of sanity."
- >They both giggle.
- >Rarity seems to be grinning.
- >"Oh no darling, you cannot be telling me you're going to be sleeping in the wild with these...children!"
- >Sweetie Belle goes full on Charlie Brown EUGH.
- >"RARITY, he's my friend not your friend!"
- >Rarity glares at Sweetie Belle.
- >Sweetie Belle glares back.
- >Rarity falters.
- >Well all right. Go Sweetie Belle.
- >You knew where this conversation was going.
- >Rarity sighs.
- >"Well where is your little campout going to be?"
- >Sweetie Belle looks at Applebloom and grins.
- >Applebloom winks at you.
- >"Well shucks, Rarity. We're gonna go build us some tents up in the mudder fields. Maybe wrestle some piggies too. Anonymoos loves that don'tcha?"
- >You shrug your shoulders and smirk.
- "I make them squeal, much like piggies are want to squeal."
- >The girls laugh.
- >Rarity sighs.
- >"...are you sure you don't perhaps want to all camp here? Maybe we could share a bottle of wine--"
- >Sweetie Belle shrieks.
- >"Rarity, stop being a creepy cougar-pony!"
- >Rarity feigns a gasp.
- "This is all very amusing ladies, but we should go pick up Scootaloo shouldn't we?"
- >Applebloom gasps.
- >"Shucks, we ought to! Good thing you're on top of business fellow crusader!"
- >You depart from the boutique.
- >Sweetie Belle has joined the party.
- >Applebloom and Sweetie Belle start to lead you out of town.
- >Sweetie Belle keeps jawing about how much fun this is going to be.
- >How she's gonna make popcorn.
- >And how she's gonna do her hair.
- >And how they can read scary stories.
- >And how they'll sing songs.
- >And redecorate the club house.
- >And after a bit it sounds like she's just making woof sounds.
- >You shake your head for a second, attempting to concentrate.
- >No, she's not woofing.
- >Just listing stuff she thinks might sound cool.
- >"That's great an'all Sweetie Belle, but I don't think we can build a trey-bu-shay."
- >"It's a trΓ©buchet. GASP! Applebloom, Anonymous, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
- "No."
- >"YES."
- >In unison, of course.
- >"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER SIEGE DEMOLITION EXPERTS!"
- >You give a thumbs up.
- >They cheer.
- >You approach Fluttershy's house.
- "Uh, why're we here?"
- >Sweetie Belle grins at you.
- >"Scootaloo wanted to get a turtle!"
- >Applebloom rolls her eyes.
- >"Now that's just silly."
- "...why can turtles talk or something?"
- >"Shoot no! She just wants to be all like her hero."
- "Oh. Her hero is a turtle?"
- >This gets them both to laugh.
- >You follow them around back and holy crap in a cupcake.
- >That's a lot more animals than you remember from when you tried to clean her pipes.
- >Scootaloo is playing with a very ornery looking alligator snapping turtle.
- >Fluttershy is trying to convince her that's the incorrect choice.
- >You look at them both.
- >Scootaloo waves to you and the girls.
- >Fluttershy blushes.
- >...all you can do is try not to remember the smell and taste of that vagina and clitoris.
- >Eugh.
- >Damn you brain.
- >Why must you have memories?
- >"Sheesh Scootaloo, ain't that one of those snapper turtles?"
- >Scootaloo nods.
- >"I'm gonna call him Crusty Pete."
- >Sweetie Belle thinks this is all absolutely disgusting.
- >Fluttershy flies over to you and puts her hooves on your shoulders.
- >"...h-hi An--anonymous...I'm uhm..Fl-Fluttershy."
- >This is the...fourth time she's introduced herself?
- "Hi."
- >"I'm so-so-so sorry about what happened before...it was an accident and uhm..."
- >She just mumbles and looks away.
- >Applebloom is glaring up at Fluttershy.
- >"Hey Fluttershy, don'tchu got some bunny washing to do r'something?"
- >"Oh no..I washed them all this morning."
- >Scootaloo squawks out a yelp.
- >"HELL-O! Fluttershy, can I take Crusty Pete home with me or what?"
- "...Applebloom, I don't feel comfortable sleeping in the same room as a vicious predatory beast."
- >Scootaloo smirks.
- >"Anonymous is sleeping with us?"
- >Fluttershy's cheeks turn bright red and she starts sweating.
- >"Oh-uhm-uhm-look at the time girls, you can pick up Crusty Pete t-t-tomorrow...if that's okay with you."
- >"Yeah sure fine whatever."
- >Scootaloo trots over to Sweetie Belle and Applebloom.
- >Fluttershy forces a smile and twitches a little.
- >"Uhm...Applebloom, could I see you inside for a moment?"
- >"Shoot. Fine. Crusaders, let's take a fiver."
- "A fiver?"
- >Applebloom nods and then departs with Fluttershy.
- >Eugh.
- >You can still taste it.
- >You are Applebloom.
- >Fluttershy's house smells worse than the guest room when cousin Braeburn comes over with a business partner.
- >Aww shoot, he's supposed to be here this weekend too.
- >You'll probably get the guilt trip cus you're having a sleepover rather than talking farm business.
- >Phooey.
- >What was Fluttershy saying?
- >"..y-you should be c-careful..."
- "With what?"
- >"With...An-anonymous, he's n-not a pony."
- "Well o'course he's not a pony! He doesn't have any hooves."
- >"That's...well yeah he doesn't have hooves, but what I mean is that maybe you shouldn't invite him for your little sleepover."
- >Fluttershy, you're a hussie.
- >And a hussie can't be a hustler.
- >And you hustle apples with the best of'em.
- >Cept that one time you ruined a tennis racket.
- >But that was different.
- "Well where would he go?"
- >You give her the big sad eyes.
- >"Oh..we-well he could stay here...I mean, I guess it'd be fun and--"
- "I KNEW IT!"
- >Fluttershy recoils a little.
- "Ya shouldn't a told me you thought he was cute Fluttershy cus now I know y'all can't be trusted to talk about him cus now you've got them ulterior motives!"
- >She mumbles something.
- "Shucks, and don'tcha think for a minute I didn't see what you were doing with him during the cutie mark crusader initiation ceremony!"
- >She blushes like a babe in the woods on a winter day with a bad sunburn who is also a lobster!
- >Huff! She is red.
- "That's right, now why don'tcha go back to playin' with your bunnies and not try and ruin this for me."
- >You stick your chin up at her.
- >You told her off!
- >Applejack would be proud of you!
- >Or maybe really mad because she and Fluttershy are good friends.
- >Aww shoot, this might blow up on your butt.
- >Phooey.
- "I mean...it's just a sleepover. He isn't gonna do nothing."
- >That's not true though, cus you've got a book and you know exactly what he's gonna do.
- >Fluttershy grumbles.
- >"I'm gonna tell Applejack to check in on you."
- "Fine! She'd do it anyway!"
- >Fluttershy snaps at ya.
- >"Fine! Maybe I'll CHECK in on you!"
- "DO IT LADY!"
- >"I'm go-gonna DO IT FILLY!...if that's okay with you..."
- "Well it ain't!"
- >"Well I'm gonna do it anyway so...sorry."
- >You storm outta there.
- >You leave with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo and Anonymous in tow.
- >He's the caboose on this little crusader train.
- >Which makes you the line leader.
- >Sweetie Belle gets right up next to you.
- >"How come you look all mad, Applebloom?"
- "Ssh...we gotta whisper this."
- >"What're we whispering?"
- >Scootaloo shouts.
- >You bite your lip at this derp in the plans.
- >Anonymous doesn't seem to be paying attention.
- >Scootaloo runs up to your other side.
- >"What're we whispering about?"
- "Can y'all keep a secret?"
- >They nod.
- "Now it's a super secret."
- >They nod.
- "Cross your heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in your eye, and if what y'all is doing now is a lie you're gonna make this crusader cry."
- >They repeat.
- >"What's the secret?" Sweetie Belle says all conspiring-like.
- "Okay...I gotsa a big ol'crush on Anonymoos."
- >They both look at one another.
- >"Yeah we sorta figured that out already." Scoots says like it was nothing.
- >"Well I think it's cute! He's got such a pretty mane." Sweetie Belle says like you're one of her sister's romance characters in those books with the stallions what got weird hair and stand on cliffs.
- "Well EXCUSE ME! I thought I was being all private and stuff, what gave it away?"
- >Anonymous looks down at you.
- >"What gave what away?"
- "UH. UH. UH....Moonshine gravy!"
- >"Moonshine...gravy?"
- >Scootaloo just laughs at this outburst.
- >Sweetie Belle tries not to laugh but fails.
- >You're dumber than a sack of hammers Applebloom.
- "I mean...S'nothing! You just go on back to whistling or walking or whatever."
- >"Okay."
- >He starts whistling a sweet little diddy.
- >Oh those lips of his are all velvety soft and they look tastier than fritters.
- >"It was a combination of the drooling--which you're doing now." Scootaloo whispers.
- >"And how you looked when you saw him without a shirt on." Sweetie Belle winks.
- "Aww shucks...Can I tell you about the plan then?"
- >They both nod.
- "We're all gonna play truth'r'dare...and I'm gonna make him kiss me."
- >They both gasp and laugh.
- >This is gonna be great.
- >You and the girls and Anonymous get to Sweet Apple Acres in no time.
- >You head on up to the clubhouse but Applejack is standing there by the door of it.
- >Aww shoot, this can't be good.
- >"Well howdy y'all, now Big Mac just wanted me to make sure nothing funny was gonna happen."
- >She tips her hat back and smiles at Anonymous.
- >He nods.
- >"I...trust me, I don't even qualify for laughter."
- >Applejack grins at this.
- >"Shoot, I know that. You seem like a right nice fella. Big Mac's just worried because this here's Applebloom's first boy-girl sleepover."
- >She gives you a noogie.
- >He snickers a little.
- >Oh no, he's gonna think you're some lame kid cus you've never been to one before.
- >Everything is ruined.
- >Applejack, how come you had to say something?
- >Big Mac, you're gonna find your stupid doll in the corn field.
- >"Well hey, I'll be nothing but a gentleman. I assure you."
- >Anonymous bows a little.
- >Applejack laughs.
- >Oh Gosh.
- >He's all courteous and stuff.
- >"Now why don't y'all get settled in, have some fun. You get any trouble, just holler and we'll come runnin'!"
- >Applejack puts her hat on your head before she trots off to the farmhouse.
- >Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle rush on into the clubhouse.
- "..t-thanks Anonymoos."
- >"Hey it's no problem. She's concerned for you, that's cool."
- >He smiles and it's like he's saying something without saying it.
- "You gonna head on in there?"
- >"...am I going to get tied down again?"
- >He's got such a nice handsome smile.
- "Shoot Anonymoos, you don't get in there right now and I'll hog tie ya myself!"
- >That might'a been too much.
- >"I'd pay to see that."
- >You blush up redder than a rose.
- >He goes inside.
- "Golly."
- >The night goes on all nice and stuff.
- >Playing board games.
- >Sweetie Belle's too self-conscious to sing a song.
- >Scootaloo isn't, but she really ought to be.
- >Anonymous joins in.
- >He's a terrible singer, but it's funny.
- >Eventually it gets dark out and all you got is a couple jars of fireflies.
- "Okay, now's when we play truth or dare."
- >The girls nod and smile.
- >Anonymous frowns.
- >"Do we have to?"
- >Oh no.
- >He probably hates this game.
- >Shoot, now he's gonna hate you.
- >But you just GOTTA play it because--
- >"You can ask first Anonymous." Sweetie says with a grin.
- >Well that'll do it.
- >"Okay. So uh...Scootaloo, truth or dare?"
- >Scootaloo rolls her eyes.
- >"Dare."
- >"I dare you to...eat a jar of those fireflies."
- >She kicks him in the arm.
- >"I said Truth."
- >He nods a little.
- >"Okay...Why's your hero a turtle?"
- >She looks at him like he's all daft and silly.
- >"My hero's Rainbow Dash. She's not a turtle."
- >"Oh. Dang. Well, your turn."
- >You grin at Scootaloo.
- >C'mon, Filly. DO IT.
- >"All right Anonymous. Truth. Or Dare?"
- >"Truth?"
- >Sweetie Belle bellows. "OH COME ON!"
- >Anonymous looks at her weird and shrugs.
- >"Okay...dare?"
- >"Scootaloo grins all nasty.
- >"I dare you to spend the night in the Everfree forest!"
- "Shoot Anonymoos, you're not doing that."
- >"Why not?"
- "It's all dangerous and spooky and stuff. He doesn't have to do it if it's spooky!"
- >Scootaloo rolls her eyes.
- >"Fine."
- >"Well uh...another dare then?"
- >Scootaloo shrugs.
- >"Yeah like...I dunno. Rub Sweetie Belle."
- >Scootaloo I'm gonna punch you.
- >"Rub her?"
- >"...rub me?"
- >"Yeah, like what her sister pays a ton of bits to have done at the spa."
- >Scootaloo he ain't suppose to be rubbing anyone but me!
- >Sweetie Belle smiles awkwardly.
- >"You mean...massage?"
- >Anonymous just shrugs.
- >"Fine. But let's not make this weird."
- >Anonymous starts rubbing Sweetie Belle's backside all romantic and stuff.
- >Scootaloo you're a bad friend and a traitor to the ranks of the crusaders!
- >You'll be strung up by your hooves and you'll get nothin' but nasty old pies!
- >Sweetie Belle smiles blissfully at you.
- >"Ap-p-l-le-bloom, you've g-o-tta-try-this..."
- >He's playing her like a xylomophone!
- "That's enough of that Anonymoos, you can ask me or Sweetie Belle a dare now."
- >Scootaloo grumbles. "What about me?"
- "You already got to ask'em!"
- >"Pfft, that's not in the rules."
- "Well sure, but this isn't all rule-like and stuff. It's just a game and games are fun when everybody gets to play!"
- >Sweetie Belle sighs when Anonymous stops rubbing her up.
- >"Yeah...f-fun."
- >He looks down at Sweetie Belle.
- >"Truth or dare?'
- >"Uhm...truth!"
- >"How come you called your sister a cougar-pony?"
- >Sweetie Belle blushes and looks right at you.
- >"Uhm...Uhm...Uh...Because she's got a crush on you, Anonymous."
- >Anonymous just groans.
- >"Seriously? I am not even close to being handsome enough to warrant the sorta crap I'm getting from mares in this. It's a little psychotic."
- >Sweetie Belle smiles.
- >"My turn! Applebloom, truth or dare!"
- "Uhm...Dare."
- >"I dare you to kiss Anonymous."
- >Sweetie Belle you are a queen amongst unicorns and a captain of industry!
- >You'll be awarded medals and trophies and honors and stuff.
- >You trot on over to Handsome and pucker up.
- >Close your eyes.
- >Come on.
- >DO IT.
- >DO IT ANONYMOUS.
- >COME ON.
- >Oh my.
- >You feel his lips touch yours.
- >They're all velvety and soft.
- >And you wanna stick your tongue in between them.
- >You open your eyes.
- >His are open and his lips break into an awkward smile.
- >You light up redder than an albino on a hot beach in the middle of July.
- >You feel your tongue enter his mouth.
- >He pulls back.
- >QUICK.
- >PRETEND YOU HAD SOMETHING IN YOUR TEETH.
- >"Well...that was...a kiss."
- >Sweetie Belle grins.
- >Oh gosh.
- >You done derped it up.
- >You are Anonymous.
- >You just kissed a filly.
- >She tried to slip you tongue.
- >Or maybe she's picking something out of her teeth.
- >Well, whatever. It's a game.
- >And you've learned valuable information.
- >So it appears some of the mares in this town do seem to like you.
- >That's...terrible.
- >You just want to be normal here.
- >You're not into horses.
- >You're into people.
- >Applebloom looks at you all weird like.
- >"Uhm...Anonymous, Truth or Dare?"
- "Well if it's Truth there's a lot of stuff I'm not allowed to talk about. So how about dare, otherwise?"
- >She blushes.
- >"Uhm...show everyone your cutie mark!"
- >You quirk a brow.
- "I don't have a cutie mark, that's why I'm in this club."
- >The girls gasp.
- >"You got your cutie mark?"
- >"Is it awesome?"
- >"Is it lame?"
- >"Is it pretty?"
- >Applebloom tugs on your jeans.
- >Oh.
- >That cutie mark.
- >You stand up and walk over to the window.
- >You pull your pants down and moon the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
- >Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle laugh.
- >"Is that your butt?"
- >"Is that Twilight Sparkle on your butt?"
- >"What kinda nerd cutie mark is that?'
- >"Did you get it by living in a library?"
- >"Or having a pretty mane?"
- >They all look at Sweetie Belle.
- >"Twilight has a pretty mane."
- >You just look outside.
- >You swear you can hear rustling in the branches.
- >Almost sounds like panting.
- >This was a bad idea.
- "I'm bushed girls...maybe we should go to sleep."
- >They collectively sigh and awww.
- >But you know what's going on out there.
- >And it bodes ill.
- >Eventually the girls all settle down.
- >After five more rounds of truth or dare.
- >Daring them to go to sleep didn't work.
- >You've got bows in your hair.
- >And you promised to teach Scootaloo how to play football.
- >The American kind.
- >The full contact kind.
- >You lay down in a sleeping bag by the window.
- >Applebloom is next to you in hers, and next to her is Scoots and Sweetie.
- >Applebloom whispers something to you.
- >You can't quite make it out.
- >"psst...Anonymoos."
- "Yeah?"
- >"Are you...asleep?"
- "...no."
- >"Oh. Uhm...shoot. Uhm. Uh. UH. Well...ya see. Uhm."
- >You glance at her.
- >She's almost feverishly red.
- "You okay?"
- >She nods slowly.
- >"You wanna...go to the sock hop with me?"
- "Sure."
- >What the hell is a sock hop?
- >If it means free socks, you're excited.
- >"So...we kissed."
- "Eyup. On a dare."
- >"Does that mean we gotta get married?"
- >You laugh a little.
- >"What?"
- "Nothing. No. It doesn't."
- >She nods a little.
- >"That's swell."
- >You look out the window.
- >It's a beautiful full moon night and...
- >And those are eyes.
- >EYES.
- >SWEET FANCY MOSES.
- >You get up and tap onthe window.
- >It opens.
- >Fluttershy is flapping in the air.
- >She's all sweaty and smells like milk and old pennies.
- >Oh god.
- >Come on.
- >That's just gross.
- >"...h-hi Anonymous...I'm fl-Fluttershy."
- >You close the window.
- >All the mares in this town are crazy.
- >You're going to bed before you get raped.
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