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- >”We called it Hearth’s Warming Eve back in Equestria.”
- “So it’s like Christmas then?”
- >”Kind of, but we celebrate it to remember how the different types of ponies came together, we exchange presents and tell the story of the first Hearth’s Warming Eve.”
- >You learned something new today.
- “Still say it sounds a lot like Christmas, but instead of ponies arguing we just have a fat guy that comes down a chimney.”
- >Sitting at the kitchen counter you chatted happily with Fluttershy.
- >She was all excited to tell you all about the pony traditions.
- >And Equestria.
- >Well as excited as this shy Pegasus would get.
- >Taking a big sip of coffee from the cup you were holding you relished the taste.
- >Slight bit of peppermint made it the poop.
- >Fluttershy was enjoying a nice cup of cocoa.
- >You added a bit of vanilla to hers.
- >She must have liked it since this was her third cup so far.
- >So why was Flutters here?
- >Your friend Katie buggered off for the holidays to see her family in some made up country called Kanuh-Da.
- >Katie and her imaginary places.
- >Silly lesbians.
- >Unfortunately her family didn’t like ponies.
- >So being the closest thing she had to a friend that didn’t partake in mutual muff diving she asked you to watch Flutterbiscuit for the time being.
- >You of course had no problem with it.
- >She was a big help with Scootaloo…
- >Wait a tick.
- >Something wrong here.
- >It’s quiet.
- >Too quiet.
- “Scoots?”
- >No Response.
- “Scootaloo?”
- >Still nothing.
- >Yup you were worried.
- >Not for her, you’ve seen her go through a wall without a scratch.
- >Your house however wasn’t that lucky.
- >Giving Flutters the look you got up and began the search for the destroyer of Anon’s stuff.
- >Walking into the living room you looked around.
- >The yellow Pegasus floating right along beside you.
- >”Maybe she went upstairs?”
- >Oh poor Flutteshy, you underestimate the wrecker of all things collectible.
- “No she’s here, she’s watching us I can tell.”
- >”Wa…watching us?”
- >And there’s the tell-tale sign of nervousness.
- >Heck the yellow Pegasus got frightened by a commercial for cereal earlier today.
- “Don’t worry the worst she can do is jump from around the corner and try scaring us.”
- >Where are you hiding.
- >Scootaloo was smart, she had practice.
- >Hiding from you when it came time for a bath or manecut.
- >Deep down you were proud of your little pone-ninja.
- >But she is young.
- >And nowhere near your level.
- >You had sneak maxed out in skyrim.
- >Your eyes scanned the room.
- >Not on the couch.
- >Not hiding in the bookshelf.
- >Ceiling fan? Nope.
- >Out of the corner of your eye you saw a branch on the tree move just barely.
- >Gotcha.
- >Walking towards the couch you looked at Flutter.
- “Well I guess she isn’t here, maybe we should check upstairs?”
- >With a mighty leap you jumped onto the tree.
- >SURPRISE MUTHAFUCKA!
- >With a mighty crash and a mass explosion of pine needles and ornaments you clutched the laughing filly.
- >”Let me go you butt! You Weirdo!”
- >You still held the laughing filly as she tried to escape your grasp.
- “Nice try, Scoots but I hid the presents. I should have known you’d try to go for them.”
- >Scoots stuck her tongue out at you.
- >Your response was to bring the little filly in for a hug.
- “Come on, this is your first Christmas. Tradition says we do it right so only one present tonight and the rest tomorrow.”
- >”Fine.”
- >Finally you released the orange girl.
- >Like a bullet she sped off.
- >This girl had way more energy than a case of redbull.
- >A giggle from above you brought you out of your musings.
- >”I guess we should get this cleaned up.”
- >Looking at the mess you were laying in you laughed.
- “Don’t worry about it. I’ll clean this up, if you don’t mind could you get started on the cookies for tonight?”
- >”Mmmhmm.”
- >A gentle flap of her wings and Fluttershy floated back into the kitchen.
- >Standing up from the wreckage you surveyed the scene.
- >Tree was down.
- >Some ornaments were scattered about.
- >Overall it was salvageable.
- >Rolling up your sleeves you started on getting everything back to normal.
- >Putting the tree back in its stand.
- >You should probably get the vacuum too.
- >Thee were pine needles everywhere.
- Several Hours later…
- >You adjusted your tie again.
- >Maybe you should put on a different shirt.
- >Was this suit okay.
- >Fucking hell were you nervous right now.
- >Just breathe Anon, there’s nothing to freak out about.
- >Just your parents coming by to spend some quality time with you and your friends.
- >Yup no pressure.
- >Right?
- >I mean sure, you were an adult currently living with two ponies.
- >That seemed like a perfectly normal thing.
- >And now you were really freaking out.
- >You felt Fluttershy’s hoof rub your back reassuringly.
- >”Anon, it’s okay. I’m sure your parents are going to be so happy to see how well you’re doing.”
- >Your laugh came out a bit maniacal.
- >Why couldn’t you just tell your parents you were going somewhere on vacation for the holidays.
- >”Anon?”
- “Whats up Scoots?”
- >”Can I please take this off, it itches.”
- >Looking down you double checked Scoots outfit.
- >She had a miniature elf outfit on, complete with hat.
- >And she was fidgeting around like a dog with duct tape on his paws.
- “It’s just for a little bit longer sweetie.”
- >With a huff she sat on her haunches.
- >Please whatever deity is up there, just let this not turn into another usual Christmas.
- >The last one was bad enough.
- >Uncle Larry’s mustache still hasn’t grown back.
- >The knocking on your door brought you out of your thoughts.
- >Well here goes nothing.
- >Or everything.
- >Slowly you gripped the door handle.
- >It’s only a couple of hours Anon, just a couple.
- >Not much can go wrong in so little time.
- >Right, right?
- >Catch up with mom and dad, have some milk and cookies, introduce Scoots and Flutters.
- >Fun times.
- >Family bonding and then you don’t have to see each other for twelve months.
- >Deep breath bud, you got this.
- >You opened the door.
- >Over its threshold stood two people.
- >One man, with gray hair and a stern face.
- >The other an older woman, who looked pensive about being there.
- >”Junior.”
- “Dad, Mom come in. How was your drive?”
- >”Fine, assholes still haven't learned how to drive in this day and age.”
- >Stepping aside you let your parents enter.
- >Just play it cool.
- >Your doing fine so far.
- >”So honey, how have you been?”
- “Good, works okay. How’s everything for you?”
- >”Well they banned me from Bingo because I knocked out that one cheater.”
- >Momanon cracked her knuckles with that statement.
- >Images of the butt whooping you got when you were a kid for being a small prick resurfaced in your mind.
- >Looking to your Mom you noticed that while she was talking to you her attention was solely on the two ponies who were waiting patiently behind you.
- >”Anon why do you have two ponies here.”
- >Scratching the back of your head you laughed nervously.
- >Why the fuck were you nervous?
- “Mom, Dad, this is Fluttershy and Scootaloo. Girls these are my Mom and Dad.”
- >Your mom raised an eyebrow before walking to them and kneeling down.
- >”Buying slaves, that’s not the way we raised you.”
- “They’re not slaves.”
- >Your mom hummed thoughtfully at your statement.
- >”Junior let’s have a word. Outside. Now.”
- >Fuck me running.
- >You know that tone.
- >You dunn goofed up now.
- “Girls show my mom to the living room, we’ll be back in a minute.”
- >Well your dad would.
- >You’d probably be laying knocked out on your porch.
- >One thing you knew about your pops is that he had a mean right hook.
- >He was a boxer while in the army.
- >As you followed him outside you closed the door.
- >No reason the girls had to hear the screams.
- “So what did you want to see me out here for.”
- >Whatever it was you were expecting, this wasn’t it.
- >Your dad was hugging you.
- >”Oh thank god!”
- >You were confused.
- >This was weird.
- >Your old man never hugged you.
- >Hell you’ve known the guy for a while.
- >He’s never hugged anyone.
- >Punched. Hit with a bottle over a game of cards. Yeah all that.
- >But not hugged.
- “Dad, why are you hugging me.”
- >”You have no idea how happy I am right now.”
- >Seriously what the fuck is going on?
- >”Everybody at the bar kept saying you’d come out a homo any day now. I still held out hope boy.”
- >Are you fucking kidding me.
- >”They had a pool going to see how big a sissy you’d be. Sure it’s not a woman, but hell it beats the alternative.”
- >Your dad thought that you and Fluttershy were…
- >Bad thoughts.
- “Dad, me and Fluttershy aren’t a thing.”
- >And the hug was over just like that. Your dad held you at arm’s reach.
- >”Junior. Explain.”
- “She’s a friends companion, Scootaloo is.. is.. I just take care of her.”
- >The look your dad was giving you didn’t let up.
- “And no I’m not gay.”
- >”Good, so let’s go check on the hens. See what kind of trouble they’re up to.”
- >And the old mans cheerful mood was back.
- >So much for a normal Christmas.
- >Once back inside you lead your dad to the living room.
- >There sitting happily on the couch was your mom.
- >With Scoots in her lap.
- >And Fluttershy laying alongside her.
- >Besides the weirdness earlier maybe this Christmas was still salvageable.
- >And she was telling stories again.
- >Embarrassing stories about you.
- >”So in the 2nd grade Anon, had way to much to drink on picture day and ended up wetting his pants.”
- >Maybe you could convince your dad to knock you out after all.
- >It was your dad however that announced your return though.
- >”Hey honey guess what? Anon’s not a fag after all!”
- >Smiling at the news your mom looked to you.
- >”Oh that’s wonderful news dear. Though I kind of figured with your girlfriend and daughter.”
- >”Gir…girlfriend?”
- >And Flutters is out for the count.
- >Damn it yellow horse.
- “Mom, knock it off.”
- >”What? you’re getting old Anon, and I want grandkids. Scootaloo here is one down, but your brother has three.”
- “Three hellspawn who make all that is good in the world scared.”
- >”So the way I see it is you and your girlfriend here better get to work. I don’t care if they’re ponies or whatever.”
- >Looking to your dad he gave you the patented ‘Anon family shrug of not knowing’.
- >”Just do what she says Junior.”
- >Leaning in closer he whispered the next part.
- >”And invest in a lot of alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol.”
- >Gee thanks dad.
- >”You want me to call you Grandma?”
- >Your mom kept softly petting the filly in her lap.
- >”Well of course dear, since I kinda am your Grandma after all.”
- >The filly in question tilted her head in confusion.
- >With a shrug she smiled again and grabbed another cookie from the table directly in front of the couch.
- >”Okay Grandma.”
- >Before she could stuff the cookie in her mouth however your mom gave an excited squeal and hugged the little pony.
- >For a second you thought Scoots was going to suffer the same fate as Flutters.
- >Nah.
- >She’ll be fine.
- >You and your dad sat on the two recliners opposite the couch.
- >”This is what your brother doesn’t understand junior. Family is important, if only that whore of a wife of his got her head on straight.”
- >And he’s off on one of his rants again.
- >Fluttershy was still out cold on the couch.
- >Now however wrapped up in a cozy little blanket courtesy of you.
- >”Damn Koreans.”
- >And your dad still going strong.
- >”Dear shut the fuck up about the Koreans.” Turning to you she continued. “It’s about that time, we should head on to see your brother.”
- >Scootaloo who was now on what looked like her twentieth cookie looked confused as she was lifted up.
- >Only to come face to face with your mom.
- >”Now sweetie, be good to your dad. He’s not the brightest, cleverest, or well he’s not a lot of things.”
- “Thanks mom.”
- >”Hush, but he’s will do his best for you. And if not just give your granny a call and she’ll set him straight.”
- >Why did that actually scare you.
- >Walking to you your mom handed Scoots over.
- >”Don’t worry grandma I’ll keep on an eye on the dummy.”
- >With that slowly your parents gathered their coats and belongings.
- >At the door not a word was said.
- >You hugged your mom and a firm handshake for your dad.
- >”You’re a family man now Junior, so no more fucking around you hear.”
- “Thanks, you both drive safe and merry Christmas.”
- >”Bye dear, bye Scootaloo.”
- >And with that they were gone.
- >Holy shit that went a hell of a lot better than you ever thought it would.
- >Sitting down in the spot your mom previously occupied on the couch you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.
- >Normally your parents would give you shit about not having really done anything all year and not giving them any grandkids.
- >You though the three shits your brother had would’ve appeased them, but nope.
- >Looking over you saw Flutters had rolled around and the blanket no longer covered her.
- >Well things could be worse.
- >They accepted Scoots as a part of the family like it was nothing at all.
- >”I’m tired.”
- >Looking down, you smiled at your little filly.
- >She was wiping at her eyes with her hoof.
- >Probably tuckered out after the days events.
- >Hell you were worn out as well.
- >Fuck it, you’ll sleep down here tonight.
- >Reaching over you as gently as possible brought Flutters over.
- >Covering the three of you with the blanket you let the tension from the day leave your body.
- >Family man eh, didn’t sound too bad.
- “Merry Christmas Scoots, Flutters.”
- >Scootaloo nuzzled herself against your chest.
- >”Merry Christmas dad.”
- >If not for the fact that you were half asleep, you would have heard the whisper from the little filly.
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