Helping Her Christmas

Dec 23rd, 2015
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  1. >”We called it Hearth’s Warming Eve back in Equestria.”
  2. “So it’s like Christmas then?”
  3. >”Kind of, but we celebrate it to remember how the different types of ponies came together, we exchange presents and tell the story of the first Hearth’s Warming Eve.”
  4. >You learned something new today.
  5. “Still say it sounds a lot like Christmas, but instead of ponies arguing we just have a fat guy that comes down a chimney.”
  6. >Sitting at the kitchen counter you chatted happily with Fluttershy.
  7. >She was all excited to tell you all about the pony traditions.
  8. >And Equestria.
  9. >Well as excited as this shy Pegasus would get.
  10. >Taking a big sip of coffee from the cup you were holding you relished the taste.
  11. >Slight bit of peppermint made it the poop.
  12. >Fluttershy was enjoying a nice cup of cocoa.
  13. >You added a bit of vanilla to hers.
  14. >She must have liked it since this was her third cup so far.
  15. >So why was Flutters here?
  16. >Your friend Katie buggered off for the holidays to see her family in some made up country called Kanuh-Da.
  17. >Katie and her imaginary places.
  18. >Silly lesbians.
  19. >Unfortunately her family didn’t like ponies.
  20. >So being the closest thing she had to a friend that didn’t partake in mutual muff diving she asked you to watch Flutterbiscuit for the time being.
  21. >You of course had no problem with it.
  22. >She was a big help with Scootaloo…
  23. >Wait a tick.
  24. >Something wrong here.
  25. >It’s quiet.
  26. >Too quiet.
  27. “Scoots?”
  28. >No Response.
  29. “Scootaloo?”
  30. >Still nothing.
  31. >Yup you were worried.
  32. >Not for her, you’ve seen her go through a wall without a scratch.
  33. >Your house however wasn’t that lucky.
  34. >Giving Flutters the look you got up and began the search for the destroyer of Anon’s stuff.
  35. >Walking into the living room you looked around.
  36. >The yellow Pegasus floating right along beside you.
  37. >”Maybe she went upstairs?”
  38. >Oh poor Flutteshy, you underestimate the wrecker of all things collectible.
  39. “No she’s here, she’s watching us I can tell.”
  40. >”Wa…watching us?”
  41. >And there’s the tell-tale sign of nervousness.
  42. >Heck the yellow Pegasus got frightened by a commercial for cereal earlier today.
  43. “Don’t worry the worst she can do is jump from around the corner and try scaring us.”
  44. >Where are you hiding.
  45. >Scootaloo was smart, she had practice.
  46. >Hiding from you when it came time for a bath or manecut.
  47. >Deep down you were proud of your little pone-ninja.
  48. >But she is young.
  49. >And nowhere near your level.
  50. >You had sneak maxed out in skyrim.
  51. >Your eyes scanned the room.
  52. >Not on the couch.
  53. >Not hiding in the bookshelf.
  54. >Ceiling fan? Nope.
  55. >Out of the corner of your eye you saw a branch on the tree move just barely.
  56. >Gotcha.
  57. >Walking towards the couch you looked at Flutter.
  58. “Well I guess she isn’t here, maybe we should check upstairs?”
  59. >With a mighty leap you jumped onto the tree.
  61. >With a mighty crash and a mass explosion of pine needles and ornaments you clutched the laughing filly.
  62. >”Let me go you butt! You Weirdo!”
  63. >You still held the laughing filly as she tried to escape your grasp.
  64. “Nice try, Scoots but I hid the presents. I should have known you’d try to go for them.”
  65. >Scoots stuck her tongue out at you.
  66. >Your response was to bring the little filly in for a hug.
  67. “Come on, this is your first Christmas. Tradition says we do it right so only one present tonight and the rest tomorrow.”
  68. >”Fine.”
  69. >Finally you released the orange girl.
  70. >Like a bullet she sped off.
  71. >This girl had way more energy than a case of redbull.
  72. >A giggle from above you brought you out of your musings.
  73. >”I guess we should get this cleaned up.”
  74. >Looking at the mess you were laying in you laughed.
  75. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll clean this up, if you don’t mind could you get started on the cookies for tonight?”
  76. >”Mmmhmm.”
  77. >A gentle flap of her wings and Fluttershy floated back into the kitchen.
  78. >Standing up from the wreckage you surveyed the scene.
  79. >Tree was down.
  80. >Some ornaments were scattered about.
  81. >Overall it was salvageable.
  82. >Rolling up your sleeves you started on getting everything back to normal.
  83. >Putting the tree back in its stand.
  84. >You should probably get the vacuum too.
  85. >Thee were pine needles everywhere.
  87. Several Hours later…
  88. >You adjusted your tie again.
  89. >Maybe you should put on a different shirt.
  90. >Was this suit okay.
  91. >Fucking hell were you nervous right now.
  92. >Just breathe Anon, there’s nothing to freak out about.
  93. >Just your parents coming by to spend some quality time with you and your friends.
  94. >Yup no pressure.
  95. >Right?
  96. >I mean sure, you were an adult currently living with two ponies.
  97. >That seemed like a perfectly normal thing.
  98. >And now you were really freaking out.
  99. >You felt Fluttershy’s hoof rub your back reassuringly.
  100. >”Anon, it’s okay. I’m sure your parents are going to be so happy to see how well you’re doing.”
  101. >Your laugh came out a bit maniacal.
  102. >Why couldn’t you just tell your parents you were going somewhere on vacation for the holidays.
  103. >”Anon?”
  104. “Whats up Scoots?”
  105. >”Can I please take this off, it itches.”
  106. >Looking down you double checked Scoots outfit.
  107. >She had a miniature elf outfit on, complete with hat.
  108. >And she was fidgeting around like a dog with duct tape on his paws.
  109. “It’s just for a little bit longer sweetie.”
  110. >With a huff she sat on her haunches.
  111. >Please whatever deity is up there, just let this not turn into another usual Christmas.
  112. >The last one was bad enough.
  113. >Uncle Larry’s mustache still hasn’t grown back.
  114. >The knocking on your door brought you out of your thoughts.
  115. >Well here goes nothing.
  116. >Or everything.
  117. >Slowly you gripped the door handle.
  118. >It’s only a couple of hours Anon, just a couple.
  119. >Not much can go wrong in so little time.
  120. >Right, right?
  121. >Catch up with mom and dad, have some milk and cookies, introduce Scoots and Flutters.
  122. >Fun times.
  123. >Family bonding and then you don’t have to see each other for twelve months.
  124. >Deep breath bud, you got this.
  125. >You opened the door.
  126. >Over its threshold stood two people.
  127. >One man, with gray hair and a stern face.
  128. >The other an older woman, who looked pensive about being there.
  129. >”Junior.”
  130. “Dad, Mom come in. How was your drive?”
  131. >”Fine, assholes still haven't learned how to drive in this day and age.”
  132. >Stepping aside you let your parents enter.
  133. >Just play it cool.
  134. >Your doing fine so far.
  135. >”So honey, how have you been?”
  136. “Good, works okay. How’s everything for you?”
  137. >”Well they banned me from Bingo because I knocked out that one cheater.”
  138. >Momanon cracked her knuckles with that statement.
  139. >Images of the butt whooping you got when you were a kid for being a small prick resurfaced in your mind.
  140. >Looking to your Mom you noticed that while she was talking to you her attention was solely on the two ponies who were waiting patiently behind you.
  141. >”Anon why do you have two ponies here.”
  142. >Scratching the back of your head you laughed nervously.
  143. >Why the fuck were you nervous?
  144. “Mom, Dad, this is Fluttershy and Scootaloo. Girls these are my Mom and Dad.”
  145. >Your mom raised an eyebrow before walking to them and kneeling down.
  146. >”Buying slaves, that’s not the way we raised you.”
  147. “They’re not slaves.”
  148. >Your mom hummed thoughtfully at your statement.
  149. >”Junior let’s have a word. Outside. Now.”
  150. >Fuck me running.
  151. >You know that tone.
  152. >You dunn goofed up now.
  153. “Girls show my mom to the living room, we’ll be back in a minute.”
  154. >Well your dad would.
  155. >You’d probably be laying knocked out on your porch.
  156. >One thing you knew about your pops is that he had a mean right hook.
  157. >He was a boxer while in the army.
  158. >As you followed him outside you closed the door.
  159. >No reason the girls had to hear the screams.
  160. “So what did you want to see me out here for.”
  161. >Whatever it was you were expecting, this wasn’t it.
  162. >Your dad was hugging you.
  163. >”Oh thank god!”
  164. >You were confused.
  165. >This was weird.
  166. >Your old man never hugged you.
  167. >Hell you’ve known the guy for a while.
  168. >He’s never hugged anyone.
  169. >Punched. Hit with a bottle over a game of cards. Yeah all that.
  170. >But not hugged.
  171. “Dad, why are you hugging me.”
  172. >”You have no idea how happy I am right now.”
  173. >Seriously what the fuck is going on?
  174. >”Everybody at the bar kept saying you’d come out a homo any day now. I still held out hope boy.”
  175. >Are you fucking kidding me.
  176. >”They had a pool going to see how big a sissy you’d be. Sure it’s not a woman, but hell it beats the alternative.”
  177. >Your dad thought that you and Fluttershy were…
  178. >Bad thoughts.
  179. “Dad, me and Fluttershy aren’t a thing.”
  180. >And the hug was over just like that. Your dad held you at arm’s reach.
  181. >”Junior. Explain.”
  182. “She’s a friends companion, Scootaloo is.. is.. I just take care of her.”
  183. >The look your dad was giving you didn’t let up.
  184. “And no I’m not gay.”
  185. >”Good, so let’s go check on the hens. See what kind of trouble they’re up to.”
  186. >And the old mans cheerful mood was back.
  187. >So much for a normal Christmas.
  189. >Once back inside you lead your dad to the living room.
  190. >There sitting happily on the couch was your mom.
  191. >With Scoots in her lap.
  192. >And Fluttershy laying alongside her.
  193. >Besides the weirdness earlier maybe this Christmas was still salvageable.
  194. >And she was telling stories again.
  195. >Embarrassing stories about you.
  196. >”So in the 2nd grade Anon, had way to much to drink on picture day and ended up wetting his pants.”
  197. >Maybe you could convince your dad to knock you out after all.
  198. >It was your dad however that announced your return though.
  199. >”Hey honey guess what? Anon’s not a fag after all!”
  200. >Smiling at the news your mom looked to you.
  201. >”Oh that’s wonderful news dear. Though I kind of figured with your girlfriend and daughter.”
  202. >”Gir…girlfriend?”
  203. >And Flutters is out for the count.
  204. >Damn it yellow horse.
  205. “Mom, knock it off.”
  206. >”What? you’re getting old Anon, and I want grandkids. Scootaloo here is one down, but your brother has three.”
  207. “Three hellspawn who make all that is good in the world scared.”
  208. >”So the way I see it is you and your girlfriend here better get to work. I don’t care if they’re ponies or whatever.”
  209. >Looking to your dad he gave you the patented ‘Anon family shrug of not knowing’.
  210. >”Just do what she says Junior.”
  211. >Leaning in closer he whispered the next part.
  212. >”And invest in a lot of alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol.”
  213. >Gee thanks dad.
  214. >”You want me to call you Grandma?”
  215. >Your mom kept softly petting the filly in her lap.
  216. >”Well of course dear, since I kinda am your Grandma after all.”
  217. >The filly in question tilted her head in confusion.
  218. >With a shrug she smiled again and grabbed another cookie from the table directly in front of the couch.
  219. >”Okay Grandma.”
  220. >Before she could stuff the cookie in her mouth however your mom gave an excited squeal and hugged the little pony.
  221. >For a second you thought Scoots was going to suffer the same fate as Flutters.
  222. >Nah.
  223. >She’ll be fine.
  224. >You and your dad sat on the two recliners opposite the couch.
  225. >”This is what your brother doesn’t understand junior. Family is important, if only that whore of a wife of his got her head on straight.”
  226. >And he’s off on one of his rants again.
  227. >Fluttershy was still out cold on the couch.
  228. >Now however wrapped up in a cozy little blanket courtesy of you.
  229. >”Damn Koreans.”
  230. >And your dad still going strong.
  231. >”Dear shut the fuck up about the Koreans.” Turning to you she continued. “It’s about that time, we should head on to see your brother.”
  232. >Scootaloo who was now on what looked like her twentieth cookie looked confused as she was lifted up.
  233. >Only to come face to face with your mom.
  234. >”Now sweetie, be good to your dad. He’s not the brightest, cleverest, or well he’s not a lot of things.”
  235. “Thanks mom.”
  236. >”Hush, but he’s will do his best for you. And if not just give your granny a call and she’ll set him straight.”
  237. >Why did that actually scare you.
  238. >Walking to you your mom handed Scoots over.
  239. >”Don’t worry grandma I’ll keep on an eye on the dummy.”
  240. >With that slowly your parents gathered their coats and belongings.
  241. >At the door not a word was said.
  242. >You hugged your mom and a firm handshake for your dad.
  243. >”You’re a family man now Junior, so no more fucking around you hear.”
  244. “Thanks, you both drive safe and merry Christmas.”
  245. >”Bye dear, bye Scootaloo.”
  246. >And with that they were gone.
  247. >Holy shit that went a hell of a lot better than you ever thought it would.
  249. >Sitting down in the spot your mom previously occupied on the couch you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.
  250. >Normally your parents would give you shit about not having really done anything all year and not giving them any grandkids.
  251. >You though the three shits your brother had would’ve appeased them, but nope.
  252. >Looking over you saw Flutters had rolled around and the blanket no longer covered her.
  253. >Well things could be worse.
  254. >They accepted Scoots as a part of the family like it was nothing at all.
  255. >”I’m tired.”
  256. >Looking down, you smiled at your little filly.
  257. >She was wiping at her eyes with her hoof.
  258. >Probably tuckered out after the days events.
  259. >Hell you were worn out as well.
  260. >Fuck it, you’ll sleep down here tonight.
  261. >Reaching over you as gently as possible brought Flutters over.
  262. >Covering the three of you with the blanket you let the tension from the day leave your body.
  263. >Family man eh, didn’t sound too bad.
  264. “Merry Christmas Scoots, Flutters.”
  265. >Scootaloo nuzzled herself against your chest.
  266. >”Merry Christmas dad.”
  267. >If not for the fact that you were half asleep, you would have heard the whisper from the little filly.
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