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- from /hhg/ Helluva Hotel general #665.99, #665.992
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- >asmodeus anon trying to get verosika pregnant
- >turns out she's barren
- -
- I wonder how if he'd be super sad
- Maybe he thinks he is infertile
- -
- >They make an appeal to Lilith to figure out what's wrong with her, since she's the primordial succumilf
- >Lilith takes one look at Verosika
- >"She's barren."
- >And then slams the door in their faces
- ---
- >Asmodeus hears of this
- >"Not on my fucking watch!"
- >Bam!
- >Verosika's eggs are ready - which'll be the lucky one?
- >she's DTF, right NOW
- >for once in his life, Anon's truly thankful for his old man
- -
- Idea for laughs
- >Verosika takes anon with her to one of her shows on earth
- >Makes out with him on stage at a live show
- >Verosika simps screeching can be heard across the globe
- >It's made better or worse depending on who you ask
- >This time she took him on stage to show off the man that knocked her up and put a ring on her finger
- -
- >Every simp that ever followed her commits mass suicide on the spot
- Such a hellish plan indeed
- -
- How do you think she beat blitzo in the murder-off?
- -
- >Repeating numbers
- Hm.
- ---
- >>for once in his life, Anon's truly thankful for his old man
- How bad of a father is asmodeus?
- -
- Not terribly bad, as far as the Seven Princes & Co. go:
- Not actively hostile to his son's life choices (Lucifer).
- Not always asleep (Belphegor).
- Unlikely to eat you (Beelzebub).
- Not a greedy, penny-pinching copycat and walking Jewish stereotype disguised as a jester (Mammon).
- Not a gender-shifting, self-absorbed asshole who still believes they're a goddess (Astaroth).
- Not a fcking sea monster (Leviathan).
- Satan and Moloch don't even count, since one of them is frozen balls-deep in ice, while the other literally cannot even hold a baby without it spontaneously combusting (much to his dismay).
- Asmodeus is neglectful, but Anon didn't have it too bad.
- He just built up a lot of resentment over the years.
- But, truth to be told, Asmodeus is only a flawed parent, and not an outright bad one, even my human standards.
- He's no Paimon or Caim, but he tries, whenever he realizes he hurt his son. Roughly in level with Stolas, but less of a fck-up.
- And, of course, if grandkids are on the table, he's down to fcking help in an instant.
- -
- >He's no Paimon or Caim
- Those two seem like the type to just be content with being the fun uncles
- -
- Agreed.
- And then, there's Abaddon, but...
- Yeeeaaaaahh...
- Imagine if Lilith had a child with him, and he had to kill the lil' tyke ALONG with all of Creation.
- I mean, that MAYBE enough to get an apology out of God, but still...
- -
- >Anon but he's paimons kid
- >Looks almost nothing like his old man
- >People who don't know better think paimon is his mom
- >Gets the best home schooling around
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- >Anon walks into the kitchen to get breakfast
- >He walks past his dad who is conversing with someone who looks eerily familiar
- >Anon stops and looks back at them
- "Uh... Dad, did i ever have an aunt?"
- >Asmodeus smiles at anon
- >"Ah Anon! Mornin, hey I want ya to meet my counterpart from another Hell!"
- "Wait there's another Hell?"
- >"Ahh don't worry about it, multivitamin theory or whatever it's called. Anyways this is Modeus! Modeus, this is my son, Anonymous!"
- -
- >multivitamin theory
- that was pretty good
- -----------------------
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