Jump 329: One Punch Man

Jump #329: One Punch Man
>The World, reversed: Regret and disappointment.
>Age: 23
>Location: Z City
I hear there's some cheap apartments available.
>Identity: Hero (-100)
How could I do otherwise?
>Drawbacks: Hungry Hungry Mysterious Beings (+200)
I'm not sure that I'm going to like being on the dinner menu for creepy things so often. Hopefully they find metal hard to digest.
>Absurdly Fluent (900)
Being able to tell someone's powerset and capabilities, even if they hold back or aren't sure of their potential, is INSANELY useful. Up until now I'd been doing this with clairvoyance and extending the function of a 'sense' materia.
>Rrrules (Free, Hero)
Never hurts to know what's what, even in general.
>Sense of Direction (500)
A bizarrely good sense of direction? Drawn toward things that I want to find? Gee, I wonder what series of jumps coming up have things that I want to find? *cough*Marvel*cough*
>A Hero's Resolve (200, Hero)
I already have plot armor, but if I won't be killed unless it is an intentional killing blow (unless I'm being incredibly stupid) is a further extension of what I have, and quite a useful one at that.
>Costume (Free, Hero)
Honestly I went... semi-cheap when it came to my costume. I went to a Halloween shop in November, bought up a slew of Ghostbuster uniforms and vampire capes, and bleached the hell out of them. So I have lots of white jumpsuits and gold capes from the bleach washing out 95% of the dye.
>Hero A-Class (0, Hero)
A guy's gotta pay the bills somehow, right?

So. Z City. It's an interesting place, but I need to save as much money as I can so that I can afford .. well, I don't know what, maybe a vacation or a nice car or something. And so I moved in to the same apartment building as these two guys. One of whom is bald, and one of whom had funky eyes and a blonde afro on the day that I moved in. (Apparently he did not like it, because it was gone the next day.)

Basically, though? I got a hibachi, got a freezer, and grilled. A lot. And I mean, a LOT. Apparently that was a good way to make friends with Saitama, which correlated with making friends with Genos. Which was pretty cool.

As far as heroing? I stuck to the same abilities I had from the Incredibles, which saw me toward the top of A-rank but never hit S-rank. A man who can turn into metal and punch with the force of something far beyond what should be doable is a bit much in some places, but here? It's hardly the most formidible thing.

I got to spar with Saitama several times. After the first couple of times he actually got halfway serious! And it turns out that if I dial up my density all the way, and I do mean ALL the way including durability perks, I could withstand consecutive normal punches, though they'd definitely stagger me. (Found that out toward the end of the jump, actually.) Saitama was thrilled by this, and the fact that I could (in the infrequent occasion that I could actually connect) hit hard enough that he could at least FEEL it, so he gave me a serious punch. I ended up gibbed.

Let me repeat that: I was made of metal and he GIBBED me.

And the gibs exploded into vapor because artistic license or something I guess.

He was pretty distraught until I popped back up and went, "Dude, you basically KILLED me. That's so fucking cool!" but he wouldn't spar with me anymore after that. To be fair, I don't blame him. I was going all out, being careful about my molecular density, though only Saitama and Genos got to spar with me while I had my super speed going. I clearly need more, but I will report that being the Fastest Thing Alive and having multiple perks to ensure that its growth could continue indefinitely (if slowly) was enough to at least make it so I had to work for any victory that didn't depend on me just completely bypassing everything with magic.

Right. That silliness aside... honestly? A lot of what I did during the jump was hanging out with those guys. I honestly regret not doing like Konata, making an army for him to fight, but... I think a lot of what he needed was friends, rather than it being a matter of finding a worthy opponent.

I will say, though, that the constant monstrous creature attacks gave him plenty of chances to hone his techniques. Techniques like "light punch", "love tap", and "bitch slap". (The last of which he used against an alien invasion when the leader said some particularly hurtful things.) Even if he couldn't find a real challenge most of the time, he got more entertainment out of heroing.

Oh, and the part-time-hero-for-a-hobby was somehow caught on camera being a hero. Repeatedly. After a few years of being promoted through the ranks for this, he ended up being the only hero with an S+ rank.

He never did see what the big deal about the whole thing was.