BAD GOD MEN, NASTY DEMONS

BAD GOD MEN, NASTY DEMONS

WEIRD AD MASON: Good evening.
ERIC TRUMP: Well first of all, it's so great to be with you and thank you everyone.
AD: This is it - your last chance to make an impression! So let's make it count.
ERIC: Okay.
KALARE CLINTON: We know we have a lot of work to do.
AD: Let's do this in B flat minor.

*Sings a B flat note. Eric and Kalare get out boomboxes, laying down a beat.*

ERIC: Such a nasty demon.
KALARE: He joked--
ERIC: Wrong.
KALARE: He joked--
ERIC: Wrong.
KALARE: And now he's telling another joke.
ERIC: Wrong. Such a nasty demon.

*B flat note abruptly ends.*

AD: We have so many Agents with dark designs,
Can we stand and fight or should we just resign?
KALARE: I would work with the diamonds in Imperium,
To snap this Fiction out from its delirium.
AD: Okay.
ERIC: Conflict, Conflict, Conflict, so bad, so bad.
It's a catastrophe, so sad, so sad.
AD: Can everyone stand up to the Zodiac's twelve?
Is everyone equal, or are Curses hell?
KALARE: Zodiacs are constructs of trickery.
AD: Alright.
KALARE: All Descendants live in history.
ERIC: Our games are being sucked out of Fiction. Right now,
Our series is slowing, hopefully not dying.

AD: Why should you run the show‽
KALARE: The people shall rise.
AD: Tell us 'cause we need to know!
ERIC: We need to save Fiction's lives.
AD: One more week until we vote!
ERIC: Innocents are put to the sword.
AD: Who should really run the sho-ow, sho-ow‽
KALARE: Eric tried to make a doomsday lord.

AD: For canon GM, who would you choose?
Please don't say me, I'm a busy dude!
ERIC: The canon of our series - what it's all about.
And DTG0 is under such stagnation.
KALARE: My decision to leave - a stroke of luck.
I can honestly say that I don't have to give a single fuck.
AD: To stop a saltstorm what should we be doin'?
Are you in favor of canon rebootin'?
ERIC: I love the reboot, the idea's my best friend.
The summation of my goal - to exist past the end.
And look at who left us behind.
KALARE: You mean look at what's happened to my mind.
Now the Fifteen are enlightened while the rest of the masses are frightened.
Eric has a clear motivation, I can tell.
He'd rather have a reboot than save the zeroth game from hell.

AD: Why should you run the show‽
ERIC: We need an IUPC!
AD: Tell us 'cause we need to know!
KALARE: We will sue MTT.
AD: One more week until we vote!
ERIC: I will fund alchemy.
AD: Who should really run the sho-ow, sho-ow‽
KALARE: Preventing our Rapture is the key.

ERIC: It's overpowered, I'm asking why.
Who let him make his own universe, seperate from our kind?
AD: I see.
KALARE: Oddities cast aside, let's throw aside our distinct factions.
I may not play your game, but I lurk at the heart of the peoples' actions.
ERIC: We have some bad-bad god men here,
And we're gonna get 'em out. It's what it's all about. Bad god men.

AD: Why should you run the show‽
KALARE: I'll give the people solidi flame.
AD: Tell us 'cause we need to know!
ERIC: Our playerbase deserves fame.
AD: One more week until we vote!"
KALARE: We invest in the Obelisk.
AD: Who should really run the sho-ow, sho-ow‽
ERIC: We need to prevent rage-quits.

*Both candidates flip each other off.*

AD: Wow, that was great, guys! Fantastic prose!
ERIC: Thanks a lot for doing a great job.
KALARE: I'm very proud of that.
AD: Is it windy in here, or is it just me?
Is... is this my wind? Howling just for me??
Why are there mountains everywhere‽
...Fuck.