dietfried's ambition

It is then that Ambrose finally turns towards Dietfried- clearly there's an expectant look in his eyes.

He's often busy, and his time was valuable, so it had to be worthwhile - for Dietfried to pull him aside in such manner.

At least, for his own sake.

"We're here now."

"What is it you wanted to speak about?"
(Ambrose Roche)

He was a prince, after all. But he was one of the only medics they knew existed here, and the first one they'd spotted. So if nothing else they could talk while he worked. If he decided to do so.

How to approach the topic..

"I think I figured out what I want to do about you. About what you did to me all those years ago." No better way to say it than to just say it, right?

Dietfried made to cross their arms, then winced as the bite Kassarus had left upon them twinged with pain. Nevermind that then. They lifted their chin, sapphire eyes seeking to meet his gaze.

"There's not a lot of point in fighting you. If I did Prinz Kassarus would probably just kill me if you didn't do it first. And I won't get much more from it if I did win than a consolation prize."

"What's done is done and there's no changing it. Even as a time magi."

Despite their childish attitude, they had learned over the recent year. At least a little bit. "So I want to learn from it instead. And from you, more specifically."

"This hunger has grown so powerful it hurts.. And I don't know what to do about it."
(Dietfried)

What a curious turn of events.

Something to be done about the Prince? It was something to make him turn his head, a tilt- one in curiosity, awaiting just what exactly Dietfried had to say. Though, as it unveils...

There's a quiet laughter.

"Do you honestly believe I would just get you in trouble, even if you attacked me?"

"Contrary to what you might believe, no, I'd keep it between us both. Kassarus, or anyone else for that matter, would not be killing you."

But that's beside the point.

"I was waiting when you'd show up with that request. Thought you'd take your time getting stronger, first, but... I suppose you changed your mind, then."

To learn from him? There's no doubt that the Prince was advancing fast - he already mastered Occult to such powerful degree at a humble age of seventeen; going forward, he improved even further.

And now, he's on the brink of learning Riftmancy too. As it stands? The two of them were on two vastly different leagues now.

With the Prince being far in the lead.

"What made you decide that, to learn from me? Is it because of my success? Is it because of my growing power? Or do you think I can just quell this hunger?"

He pauses.

"And what do you think you can learn from me, anyway?"
(Ambrose Roche)

"I don't believe you would. But if there were witnesses there would be issues. And I don't often find you outside of Asphodel."

".. I could have asked for you to fight me elsewhere. But it still wouldn't do anything but beat in a painful truth I want to change. And give you more chances to hurt me. Seems like a better road to just.. Not." They offered a slight shrug with that.

Another wince. Their arm ached. The foreigner couldn't even move it that much without pain.

Dietfried let out a soft sigh. "I thought I'd be getting stronger, the longer I took to address this issue. But that doesn't seem like it's the case. Not entirely. I mean.."

"I fought my way out of captivity. Out of the Mire. Brought Frekr in with me. But I can hardly lift my blade now." And speaking of that blade.. It looked like it had been bent terribly out of shape at some point.

Whoever they'd been fighting they had definitely been fighting hard.

"To be honest I wasn't entirely sure. If you could make it go away. And why the Hel would I ask you, after what you've done? Well."

"It's kind of.. Because of what you did. It's this hunger. It's your power. It's a lot of little things pointing me toward finally just asking for something instead of fighting every possible fight I come across-"

They pushed their fingers through their hair, their gaze focused elsewhere. Not really looking at anything in particular. "And it's because I don't want to be the scared little kid you found all those years ago. And I still feel like despite all my efforts I have hardly taken two steps past that point."

"It's because even if you can't sate this hunger, you can tell me how to do it myself."

Sapphire eyes turned back to meet his.

"You can help me make it better, right? I feel like it's slowly killing me."
(Dietfried)

Most peculiar.

Not only he found himself hungering more and more, but as much as he decided to take steps further with his own progression, it was simply not enough. At the end of the day...

It's something that made the Prince smile, of all things.

"Good."

"I'm satisfied to hear that."

Is it Dietfried's suffering he's glad about? No. No, that would be a very, very wrong assessment - if all he wanted was for Dietfried to suffer, then he could very well simply torture him on his own.

Such assumption would be even disappointing, because it made no sense.

"What you feel is ambition, Dietfried."

He explains it plainly- although, it's not too long before he continues such explanation.

"I could've crippled you that day. I could've simply sent the Collective to feed on you and leave you on the ground. Perhaps, I could've even killed you."

"But I'd rather see you grow, given that you've shown at least some promise."

The foreigner may assume that the Prince is just lying, but his expression did not suggest that- if anything, it sounded as genuine as one can be.

"And so, I gave you the most intoxicating experience a man could ever have."

"An image of better self."

One day, Dietfried could be in power- one day his ambition could make him so great that he would leave his mark on the pages of history forever. Or perhaps, he would even join among the immortals - perhaps his deeds would be so great, that his name would be sung across the lands for all of eternity.

A fate much better than that of a scared child in the woods.

"If you wanted it to simply go away? I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you."

"There's no cure."

"Even if I were to remove this Occultic influence, the mere idea, the dreams and thought of what you could be, instead of that pathetic wretch I met you as, well..."

"That thought will never leave you till the end of your days."

In fact, it could be argued that it'd make it worse - he might find himself regretting it badly for simply abandoning this path, abandoning all that he could be.

And instead, being content with mediocrity.

"Sating this ambition is the only way to keep it in check."

"This growth, this constant change..."

"It is the only thing to keep you sated now."
(Ambrose Roche)

At first they were certainly less than thrilled to hear him say that. Satisfied with their pain? Glad to hear they were suffering? Sapphire eyes narrowed slightly, but they didn't interrupt.

It had taken quite a bit of time, but Dietfried had learned some amount of patience. To listen to what people had to say before they snapped to the first conclusion.

Ambition. Was that the hunger which gnawed at their core?

The foreigner slowly tilted their head to the side as he went on. It would've been easy to snuff out their life like the flame of a candle in those days, certainly. There was no arguing that. And there could have been other reasons to leave them alive. But that could be one of his reasons.

Could be. Possibly. Maybe. But why? Well why not?

They frowned. "I figured it wasn't just going away. Stuff tends to stick around whether I want it to or not once it's in my head."

Their gaze flicked to a point just past Ambrose on the wall, then focused on him again.

".. But I did hope you'd have a slightly easier answer than that. Growth and change. Constantly. That's difficult for anyone, but.. Even though I've changed I don't think it's been for the better."

"It's eating me from the inside out and I can't even prove any amount of worth to myself." The weight of the blade at their hip seemed a bit heavier as they spoke.

Ambrose might notice that mark on their head grew slightly darker as they spoke. The injury certainly had some effect on their mentality, simply by its occult nature. And it didn't seem like it had physically harmed them much.

"I need something better than the sword I can no longer lift. I need a new path to pursue. I need something to do." That part was clear enough. The mere sound of it made that internal longing reach out.

He was definitely right about what they needed. Change, growth, something better. But the problem was, every time they tried to do something new, it had only really backfired. It was just one more reason they had come to see him of all people.

The person who claimed he had made them who they are.

"If that's the only way then- Help me find a path. Something to move toward."
(Dietfried)

Such hunger never leaves people in general.

To some, it was fleeting and small- to others, it was immense and overwhelming. There's no telling where Dietfried would be now, had it not been for the fateful night back then - but Ambrose sincerely doubts he would be any better.

Perhaps he would still be just a wandering soul, unknown to all.

"Nothing comes easy in life, Dietfried."

"Especially not answers for difficult questions."

Why would anyone expect it any different? Though, when he asks of Ambrose to help him find a path, that certainly causes him to pass a smile across his lips.

Quaint.

"How bold of you to ask me that."

"But I'm afraid it's not as easy as that either."

Of course it wouldn't be. Nothing seems to be, these days.. let alone the questions of the pursuing one's dream. Though..

"I could just point you to go do something for me, if that's what you're looking for - but I doubt that's what you intend."

"You'll have to sit for a bit and think what exactly it is you want from your life."

Before any further questions occur, he already elaborates.

"My success comes from the fact that I know what I want."

"And I constantly move forward to that. My mind is ambitious - likely far more than yours." In a sense, it's a shared affliction, but Ambrose brought it upon himself on his own.

"That is the only way I'm content with my life."
(Ambrose Roche)

"I-" An immediate thought. They took a second before continuing to speak, to be sure it's what they intended this time. "I said that wrong."

Dietfried stood a little straighter. They weren't just an anxious little kid anymore, they couldn't just be that. Life had forced them to move past that. Yet still they felt so painfully unprepared for everything it had thrown at them.

That was what needed to change first.

"Something to help me move. Is what I meant. I need to be stronger to do what I want. I have ideas, I have.. Hopes, ambitions, things that will either be done, or will kill me." And if it was the latter, they'd be dead. They wouldn't have to care then.

Not that it was the preferable option. Which was yet another reason they came to him. "I can hardly use my sword anymore. Not effectively anyway. I need something else to use."

"And I think- I hope,maybe, a power similar to yours would.. Work."

Which one?

The foreigner clarified, a hand lifted to rub that injured point again. "I mean.. Most of my losses are to users of a similar magic."

"Fight fire with fire or something like that. Only in this case its.. Not fire."
(Dietfried)

"Oh..?"

Something to help him move, then. Unfortunately for Dietfried, such mastery doesn't exactly come quickly, and he should realize that. Whatever it is that Ambrose wields, especially at the higher levels of it..

It would take a bit to learn.

"Using sword is not a difficult task."

"One simply needs training with it - and perhaps seeking out swordsmen would yield better results than asking me about that."

After all, Ambrose does not wield swords.

"Though.."

The power similar to his? There was, of course, always the poisonous toxins that he wields- but he sincerely doubted that Dietfried was interested in that.

If he really wanted to, he could self-learn that relatively easily. So instead..

That only leaves the other type of magic he wields.

"Do you refer to Occult?"

He almost grows curious about that, his head tilting a little bit in thought.

"Is this what you want to learn from me?"
(Ambrose Roche)

"Yeah I fucking know that."

The foreigner had been using a blade since the first time they'd met. Though it wasn't very effective then, Dietfried still tried their hardest to put the pointy end of that piece of metal where the sun don't shine.

Even if after about two swings they had already gone down, unable to breathe due to the toxins in their lungs.

"It was easy. I learned quick. I know how to do it, I just physically can't anymore without my body complaining. It hurts to try and lift the damn thing." Their temper only cooled slightly as they explained, remaining just beneath the surface.

Yet they forced it to remain beneath the surface. They weren't going to get anywhere just complaining about things. The foreigner cleared their throat. "Jawohl. That is what I meant."

"If you can help me.. I think it would be beneficial." At least in terms of strength. And being able to fight at all, as opposed to barely lifting that twisted blade of theirs.
(Dietfried)

Such fiery display of temper.

Amusing, even, for he only witnessed Dietfried either being meek or seething in silent anger. It's how that he would actually speak out, for once..

Because he'll need that for the learning of Occult.

"Ah. I see."

"So you decided it's time for you to dabble in the dark arts."

Most intriguing, in many ways. Still, while Dietfried seems almost unsure as to whether Ambrose would actually help him, a remark follows suit.

"Very well."

"I'll teach you Occult, then. It won't be right now, of course... given that it's a little late at the moment, but.."

"We can get to that soon enough." A pause, to which he adds.

"Good for you?"
(Ambrose Roche)

.. Who knew getting what you want could be as easy as just asking for it?

Dietfried was silent for a short while. The sentiment hadn't quite registered. What he said. They blinked a few times.

Then a slight smile cracked that blank visage. "Uh, yeah. Yeah. Of course not right this second. Or, tonight."

"Just, tell me when you're available to do so, wont you? And uh.." There was something else they had to say. Something else that was probably of major importance. He was definitely right, it was getting late. What was it-

Oh right.

"It's not too late to get treated before leaving you be though, is it?"
(Dietfried)

The reasons for teaching Dietfried were to remain a mystery.

But as much as he does not reveal them, he merely nods to the foreigner; to teach another Occult wouldn't be all that difficult for him, considering just how much he already knows about it.

"Of course."

"Another time, then."

As for the treatment? There's a glance over- a presence that has been already spoken to him amidst the shadows of the Collective that seem to constantly lurk around the Prince.

"I believe Annete is nearby."

"You can ask her for help in that matter."
(Ambrose Roche)