[15:25] [[Terezi Pralle]] "Cey--I need to speak with you about something important, will you follow me?"

[15:26] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "Sure... I'm not in trouble am I?"

[15:27] [[Terezi Pralle]] "Have a seat. How go your studies with Faline?"

[15:28] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "Studies with Faline?"

[15:28] [[Terezi Pralle]] nodded. "Don't play dumb--I overheard ALL you said that night. You two didn't even have the courtesy to let me finish walking up the stairs before you started running your mouth."

[15:29] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "Well if you really wanna know she hasn't taught me anything yet. She plans on it though. That trip to her cottage was to convince me."

[15:30] [[Terezi Pralle]] shook her head. "Truthfully? I don't care. I really don't. Do whatever the fuck you want to on your own time, okay? But I'm not slow, Cey. Faline plans to become a knight so she can start a retinue to compete with my own. How did she so aptly put it? 'Teach magic better than Terezi?'"

[15:32] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "I actually didn't like that part of our conversation. IF you think I'm joining her your crazy."

[15:33] [[Terezi Pralle]] "I don't know what to think," she sighed, rubbing her forehead. "For the record Cey, whenever someone shares their opinion with you? About SOMEONE ELSE? That's in confidence. That's not even just me being picky about it--EVERYONE expects that. And to hear you so blatantly run your mouth and instigate trouble between Faline and I? It's disgusting."

[15:34] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] She scoots a little in her seat hoping to hide behind Terezi's desk. "I didn't mean to cause trouble."

[15:35] [[Terezi Pralle]] "Oh bullshit," she rolled her eyes. "Ceyanna, do you mean to tell me you're stupid? Cause those are your options here--troublemaker or stupid. And honestly? I'm not sure which one's better. I don't know if either are useful to me."

[15:36] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "So now your going off usefullness? Thats...." she begins to think. "Right... you warned me about this.... man I'm an idiot." she facepalms.

[[Terezi Pralle]] "What, you think this is my temperment's fault? Ceyanna, I promise you I'm of calm mind and reason right now. Seeing your behavior that night only calls to mind the last time you crossed me--or have you forgotten that already?"

[[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "No its... you warned me you wouldn't be the happy and loving person when I signed on. That you would think and act based on the things going on. if work wasn't being done you would be strict and do something about it."

[15:38] [[Terezi Pralle]] "Do you know why I speak of all this in the context of 'usefulness?' It's because your actions have proven to me that you don't think of me as a friend, so why should I put things in those terms either? Why should I be giving you infinite chances when all you ever do is throw it back in my face and hurt me?"

[15:40] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] She swallows. "i-i-i.... I'm... sorry... Fire me please. All I do is hurt people I care about." she looks down in sorrow and holds back a few tears.

[15:41] [[Terezi Pralle]] walks over to Cey, planting a firm hand on her shoulder. "I warned you I wouldn't be loving and caring because I thought that's what the cards had in store for me. I was wrong--I haven't changed a bit. All that's happened these past few days is I've been exposed to needlessly shitty situations. And you're to blame for some of them. You want me to be loving and caring? Stop hurting me."

[15:43] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] She rests her head on Terezi's hand. "I'm sorry... I only hurt people when I speak... just... get rid of me..."

[15:44] [[Terezi Pralle]] "It would objectively solve my problems, probably put the college at a lot less risk... If you're going to be a knight, you need to take a stand for yourself, right here and now. If you can't justify your actions, at least own up to them. I've no desire to fire you, but unless something changes upon you exiting this room, I don't know what else to do." She yanked her hand free from under Cey's head, moving to the side.

[15:54] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] Frowned. "I think its obvious I'll never live up to being a knight Terezi. You said I failed because I thought I was the last person qualified for the job. I know what I did wrong and I never seem to learn from my mistakes no matter how hard I try. Maybe I shouldn't be a knight."

[15:54] [[Terezi Pralle]] pursed her lips, turning to the bookshelf as she sat in silence for a long moment. "...thank you for organizing the tomes--I saved your original configuration when reboxing them, and I took the liberty of shelving them since you'd already done so at the old property. This is what has changed Cey," she said turning to face her with a saddened look on her face. "You will remain in my employee until you quit yourself, or I find another reason to fire you in the future. What has changed is that we? Are no longer friends. At the end of the day--that's all this amounts to. I won't jeopardize your position in the Order over a personal matter, but you were incomprehensibly inconsiderate of my feelings. There's nothing I can do with that. So make no mistake: running this retinue hasn't changed me--only our friendship has been altered. And if you ever want THAT back? You need to put in the work to mend things. That is all."

[16:00] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "So be it. I never liked it when you puffed on skooma, used me and Immy to find Cloddagh, or when you get emotional about silly things like Telling other people how you see them." she stands up and wipes a tear away. "... But despite all those things I ment every word I said to you that one day in the castle..."

[16:01] [[Terezi Pralle]] "See what I mean, Cey? If you actually cared about being my friend, you would try to mend things. But instead? Your gut reaction is to immediately list off all the reasons why you didn't like me. How is that a friend?"

[16:04] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "You will never understand me. I list off all the bad so I can compare it to the good. You are a talented mage, a loving and caring person, you strive to make every day a good one, and you have shown me only kindness despite all the problems in my life. You might see me as no longer your friend, but I will forever remember you for what you really are. My friend..." she turns around to leave.

[16:05] [[Terezi Pralle]] "And someday I might see you again in the same way. But not until you figure out how to fix this on your own. I can't help you with this. I want a friend, Cey. Not a yesman."

[16:06] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] She turns around. "You know... All I've ever wanted to do is help people. I never wanted to be the leader no matter how much it appealed to me."

[16:07] [[Terezi Pralle]] "If that is your goal, then you can stop pursuing being a leader. But if it's your intent to help others--you need to find a way to fix your behavior. Every person I spoke to for your test gave the same reason for why you shouldn't be a knight: you talk too much. Perhaps that's more of a personal problem people have with you than whether or not you're qualified to be a knight, but it's something to think on. Friends confide in each other. The word confide comes from confidence. That means that when people speak to you IN confidence, you need to respect that. Don't blame me for getting emotional after you betrayed my trust. That was your fault, and yours alone."

[16:09] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "How did I even betray your trust? I'm still confused how I managed to accomplish that."

[16:10] [[Terezi Pralle]] "When people speak to you privately, the words are intended to be kept private. Not shared, and especially not with the person who those words are about."

[16:12] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "Well nobody ever taught me that... Not like I had any parents around to teach me..." frowns and turns around. "...sorry."

[16:13] [[Terezi Pralle]] "Well you know now. If we remained friends despite this, it would be a lie, Cey. How am I supposed to go to you with my troubles, receive any amount of comfort from spending time with you, when the first thing I need to fear is you expressing all of my venting to others? You know now. Fix it. Learn how. I don't know what else to tell you. People need to be able to go to their friends when they have problems, when they have things that are pestering their mind. Half of the time when people are angry or venting, they say things they don't even mean. And if those, of all words, are the ones you'd repeat to other people? I don't understand--truthfully, I don't--how you don't see that as an issue."

[16:15] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "Well you knew well in advance I couldn't keep a secret yet came to me anyway... why?"

[16:16] [[Terezi Pralle]] "So instead of trying to fix things, you're going to go back to the argument that you're always like this and never going to change? I spoke to you because I thought you were getting better at that. You told me you were working to improve it. You told me that."

[16:18] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "And I am.... why am I still argueing about this..." she shakes her head. "Faline should have just made the curse stop me from saying anything..."

[16:19] [[Terezi Pralle]] "Look Cey, I'm not going anywhere. If my affection is what you're looking for, don't stab me every time I hug you. I've never, in all my years, had to have a conversation like this. I feel like I've been eating lead. But it needed to be said or... or you'd just keep doing this. I look forward to the day we can be friends again, but that starts with you."

[16:24] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] Shrugs. "I still see us as friends Terezi. I still see everyone as a friend no matter how many times they wronged me. Why is it so hard for other people to do the same?"

[16:25] [[Terezi Pralle]] "Because the word friend has a powerful meaning. And if your definition of friendship isn't the same, well, perhaps that's where you can start your reflections. What does a friend mean to you? What does it mean to be a friend to someone? I know what it means to me--but apparently you think it has different implications."

[16:28] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "To me a friend is someone I can count on no matter what happens. I accept them for who they are and they do so in kind... although I say that and it contradicts what I said..." she shrugs. "Oh well."

[16:29] [[Terezi Pralle]] "No, not 'oh well,'" she said rolling her eyes. "You should be bothered by inconsistencies in your word. It means you aren't being honest to yourself."

[16:29] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] She takes a deep breath. "You finally figured it out..."

[16:29] [[Terezi Pralle]] "What."

[16:30] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "I'm the only person I lie to... Everyone else I tell the truth."

[16:31] [[Terezi Pralle]] "That is, without a doubt, the worst value structure ever conceived. If you can't even sort your own life out, who are you to speak with any authority or value on how to fix other people's lives? If you're lying to yourself, how can you possibly tell the difference when you're telling the truth?"

[16:31] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "Who said I wanted to fix other people's lives?"

[16:32] [[Terezi Pralle]] "You. You said all you ever wanted to do was help people."

[16:34] [[Ceyanna Nightshade]] "Dang it!" She facepalms and just heads on out the door without another word.