The Magical Shampoo

"Well, shit"
>The bottle of shampoo was empty
>And you were already in the shower all wet
>You start pondering your options
>You could just dry yourself without washing your head properly
>But Twilight would scold you for it and you don't want her to get on your nerves
>Or...
>Maybe you could... you know... use hers
"YO, TWILIGHT! CAN I USE YOUR SHAMPOO TEMPORARILY?"
>Over the sound of running water from the shower head you hear
>"Is yours empty?"
"NO, SHIT!"
>There's a couple of seconds of silence
>"Alright, but don't use it excessively. Yours was made specifically for you."
>"We don't know what side effects it might have."
>Eh, what could happen
>You pour a bit of this hair liquid and start cleaning your head
>There's a nagging feeling of immense softness but you dismiss it for horse land chemistry
>Finally, you dry yourself off
>Your hair feels amazing
>No shampoo on Earth has had this kind of effect on you
>Maybe you should notify Twilight
>Nah
>The whole day your hair feels amazing
>You feel it as if it were longer
>But the last you checked, it's still the same size
>Stupud horse chemistry
>At the end of the day you ask Twilight when the next bottle of your shampoo will be ready
>"It appears that some important engredients ran out. I'll have to go to Canterlot to buy them"
>"Can you manage yourself for a couple of days?"
>Of course you can
"Of course I can"
>"Good. It looks like there are no apparent side-effects of the shampoo, but still think you should be cautious"
"Oh come on. Just get that shampoo done. That's all I want"
>She frowns, but still leaves
>Oh man


>The next day you do your routine
>Wake up late and hungry
>Go to brush your teeth and shower
>You remember that your shampoo maker is still in Canterlot
>You see that purple bottle of shampoo and think
>Well it didn't hurt yesterday, why not use your normal dose of shampoo
>You pour it again and put it at use
>That nagging feeling again but stronger
>You're in bliss
>Why didn't you ask Twilight earlier
>You finish your showering and go to the kitchen
>Being the cook you are you make some acceptable breakfast and eat it in no time
>Well that was unusually fast
>You decide to read some book in the library
>Do these horses have any action novels?
>You hope they do
>After what seemed like a couple of hours of reading you put down your book and realize it's dark outside
>What the fuck
>Did you get that engrossed with the book?
>Oh well
>You go upstairs towards the bathroom
>While brushing your teeth you see the purple bottle in the mirror
>Definetly using it now
>Next day
>You're in the bathroom. Your hair feels longer but in your sleepiness you don't notice it
>You shower again
>This time without a second thought you use the shampoo
>Oh god, you're in bliss
>Maybe her shower gel is the same
>You pour some and use it on your body
>HOLY SHIT


>YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN HEAVEN
>You've never felt like this before
>You feel so soft and at same time you feel every single hair on your body
>You're almost ready to transcend into an another dimension
>You barely get a hold of yourself
>Damn
>You dry off and go to the kitchen
>Your regular breakfast wasn't enough
>The hell
>After you make another one with strange ammounts of green in it you are satisfied
>And again you feel like reading today
>But today you want some science
>Maybe you'll figure out their fancy chemistry
>Probably should write it down, so you wouldn't forget
>Anyways, you find a book and start reading
>You're so enthralled that you don't even notice the lowering sun
>Only the rumble in your stomach notifies you that it's time to eat
>It's almost night, what the fuck
>You make a quick snack and go to the bathroom
>While staring in the mirror you still don't notice that you hair is a bit longer
>You're staring at the now 2 bottles: the shampoo and the shower gel
>A late night shower wouldn't hurt, right?
>You enter the shower and enable the water
>Without even noticing, you pour the gel over you
>You're in absolute extasy
>You almost lose concsiousness from this sensory overload
>The shampoo is just the icing on the cake and you decide to use it extra thoroughly
>You leave the bathroom as if a week worth of masturbation just happened at once
>You dream of books and horses


>You wake up tired
>What happened yesterday?
>You go to the bathroom as usual to wash off you sleep
>10 minutes later and you're still staring in the mirror
>Your hair is long enough to touch your shoulders
>And it's purple with two streaks off to the side
>Not only that but YOUR FUCKING SKIN IS PURPLE
>On close inspection you notice tiny purple hairs all over your body have started growing
>What the actual fuck
>And haven't you told?
>YOU HAVE FUCKING BREASTS NOW
>This makes you think the unthinkable and you're afraid to look at Anon Jr. right now
>You're afraid to find what you think you will
>But that will not save you
>You still have to to take...
>...a shower
>In a fraction of a second you turn to the accursed bottles
>It's them
>They did this to you
>But the more you stare at them, the more you want to use them again
>There is a mental battle happening inside you right now
>Eventually your desire for bliss wins
>You shower not even noticing that in place of Anon Jr. was happening something you were still yet to discover
>Your breakfast is very green today
>In your mental conflict you don't notice how you ate 2 and a half plates of greenery
>You spend the whole day in books
>After eating another batch of green with some flowers which you found strangely tasty you go to the bathroom
>You almost jump in the shower not even touching the toothbrush
>You spend your next 30 minutes covered with Twilight's hygiene
>You dry yourself, brush your teeth and decide to find a big mirror to look at yourself
>You find one in Twiltght's room
>Yep, you're definetly purple now
>Aaand your hair is lower than your shoulders now
>It's hard to stay on your legs
>You look at between them and see the thing you were afraid to find this morning
>You have a new equpment
>But there was something wrong with it
>It was bigger than you saw it on pictures
>Upon close inspection you're correct
>This is not a human vag
>It's a mare one



>Welp
>Also you notice your breasts are lower than they were this morning
>Well, Twilight's still in Canterlot
>There's no turning back for now
>Might as well admire what you have at the moment
>There is no conflict in your brain anymore
>You just want to sleep
>Your night is the most peaceful in ages

>The following day you wake up early
>You're still tired but not as much
>You remember the previous day and decide to look in the mirror
>You're horrified
>You're not staring at you face
>You're staring at Twilight's head which rests on your purple still human shoulders
>Looks like that's going to change very soon
>It still hard to stand
>Looking at your legs you see something behind them
>Oh boy
>A tail
>Great
>Now you're a fucking anthro Twilight
>AbsolutelyDisgusting.jpg
>At least it looks like the process is not over and you're going to be full pony pretty soon
>Seems like your tits are on their proper place already
>The excessive greens and reading until nighttime
>How didn't you notice
>Well might as well shower now
>This time you find it easier to shower on all fours

>You've learned to make 1 plate of enuogh breakfast to satisfy you now
>Who would've known, that hay gets you sated this fast
>You're not even holding yourself against it
>Once again you spend your day reading about magic
>Since you'll probably have a horn tomorrow, might as well learn to you use it beforehand
>Before bed you shower as usual, eager to finish the process already
>You admire your not really human body
>The hair is now the length of Twilight's
>You're on all fours right now
>It really shows your tail this way
>You go to sleep


>You wake up refreshed but your body feels sore
>You already know why
>You take off your covers and are met with a certain purple pony's body in front of you
>You have hooves now, what joy
>You feel something protruding out of your head
>Called it. The horn is in its place
>You try to leave the bed and are met with the wooden floor
>Time to learn walking on all fours
>You spend some time walking around, mastering your new appendages
>Now that you've learned to walk, it's time for some complicated tasks
>Like opening doors
>Since you're not some earth pony, your horn is your best friend now
>You put the knowledge you've aquired from yesterday to use
>With some effort you turn the knob and exit the bedroom
>To the bathroom!
>The sink and mirror are on your eye level now, how convenient
>It's as if you're living with someone smaller than you
>Oh right, you do
>You sigh looking in the mirror and notice the familiar voice coming out of your mouth
>You also notice the lack of certain feathery appendages on your sides
>You just hope noone comes before Twilight returns from Canterlot
>You won't be able to properly replace her in this case
>Entering the kitchen you obviously notice the change in heights of furniture
>It's not like you can't reach anything with your magic
>Excercising your skill you finally make a proper breakfast
>You start to wonder what's taking that horse so long
>It's been four days already and she's still not back
>You don't want to be stuck like this
>What if the effect is consolidating the longer it exists?
>What if Twilight won't be able to reverse it?
>How will you live as her not so ascended doppleganger?
>You start to panic
>Wait
>Why are you panicking so much?


>You never panicked like this
>Is... Is your mind changing too?
>Is your mind going to be slowly replaced by Twilight's?
>Are you going to forget who you are?
>This is becoming very panic inducing
>You crawl into a fetal position and start caressing you tail
>What the...
>You're already acting like Twilight!
>You have to think fast
>There should be a way to keep your mind off this situation
>Reading?
>No, that would only remind you of it
>Wash off the worries in the shower?
>Absolutely not, you don't know what else that shampoo can do to you
>You decide to do some clean up in your bedroom
>That surely would put your mind in a different flow
>Inspecting the room you make a list of places to clean and another of instruments to use
>You doublecheck the lists and head off to find the instruments
>Broom? Check
>Cloth to clean dust? Check
>Mop? Check
>Bucket of water? Check
>After doublechecking the list again, satisfied, you return to the room and start cleaning
>No corner was left unnoticed, no spot uncleaned
>The list is checked all over
>You wipe off some sweat and look at what you have done
>The room looks gorgeous
>Everything is organized, in its place
>You even got some books to make the picture perfect
>What a good pony you a-
>WHAT THE HELL
>DID YOU JUST-
>You d-didn't...
>Everything you just did reeks of Twilight's mindset and habits
>You start to lose your mind


>You are Twilight
>And you are frustrated
>Canterlot was supposed to have all the needed ingredients
>But instead not only you had to stay in a line for one or two
>Half of them were out of stock
>So you had to visit Manehattan wasting precious time
>Who knows what havok Anon can wreck in your absense
>And you promised him to get the shampoo
>You still have your doubts about him using your hygiene
>The side-effects could be not so prominent on the first try
>You are worried for Anon

>You are Twili- Anon. ANON.
>Or are you Twilight?
>YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW ANYMORE
>Your mind is a mess
>The books you left on the table unfinished frustrate you by not being on the sheleves
>The food in the kitchen frustartes you by not being in their proper places
>You cleaned your bedroom but you made a mess again in your panic attack
>Which frustrates you even further
>You are paralyzed on your bed unable to do anything
>You are afraid to think
>You are afraid that you will think like Twilight
>This is hell
>And you are its architect

>Eventually you calmed down
>You remembered some mind excercises back from Earth
>Some steady breathing and physical movement and your mind is at peace
"This will be over soon"
>You cringe at your voice but keep calm
>Just make your thought process as usual as possible and you will survive this predicament
>You will be fine
>Your eye and tail twitch


>You're Twilight
>And you're trying to get home as fast as possible
>You have this nagging feeling that something isn't right
>You should've told him not to use the shampoo
>Since he stays inside most of the time he doesn't need to shower that often, right?
>Maybe you're just worrying too much
>He'll be fine
>At least you hope so

>You slowly approach the front door
>Taking a deep breath you slowly open the door
>Everything looks... suprisingly clean and tidy
>Every item is on its place
>Did Anon finally learn to clean up after himself properly?
>This actually makes you smile
>You definitely were worrying too much
>"Anon! I'm back with the shampoo ingredients!"
>No response
>"Anon?"
>Spoke too soon
>Your smile fades
>You leave you saddlebags on the nearest table and go upstairs
>Maybe he's in the bedroom
>As you approach the room you actually hear some movement behind the door
>He just didn't hear you, that's all
>Silly Twilight
>With a renewed smile you open the door to greet him
>What you see inside leaves you in shock
>The commotion wasn't coming from Anon apparently
>It was coming from yourself
>Well, not yourself, but from someone identical to you
>There she was, Unicorn Twilight, dusting the the bookshelves in Anon's bedroom
>Which weren't there the last time you remember it
>She is currently facing the opposite direction and haven't noticed you yet
>You slowly shorten the distance between you and her
>You're still in disbelief
>She looks exactly like you just before you became an alicorn
>She jumps when you touch her shoulder
"Gah! Who- Who are you? Wait, you're me but how can there be two of me?"
>"I was going to ask the same question. But have a more important one."
>"Where's Anon?"
>She tilts her head
"Who?"


>"You know, a tall green human in a suit"
"A hu-man? What's that?"
>"Ugh, could you just go downstairs and wait for me? I'l be there in a couple of minutes"
>She complies and leaves the room
>You analyze the tidy room
>She put quite the effort to clean it
>Suddenly you notice a piece of parchment on the table
>You levitate it to yourself
>The scribbles on it seem to be forming some kind of text, but the writing seems very frantic
>As if the writer was in a hurry
>Slowly you discipher the scribbles into sentences
"Twilight"
"If you're reading this then the transformation is complete. This is all my fault. The shampoo really did have side effects."
"I couldn't stop myself. It felt so good. I used the gel too. The transformation was both physical and mental"
"If you meet yourself but without wings, that's me. It's getting hard to think straight. I'm turning into you."
"Please, help me..."
>The last sentence ends with a line going outside the parchment
>He lost consciousness
>Okay, Twilight, calm down, you can fix this
>You just have to find a spell in one of your books to reverse the effect
>Poor Anon
>You knew you shouldn't have let him use the shampoo
>You roll up the piece of parchment and go downstairs
>There you see the other Twilight sitting in tears
>"Are you crying?"
"I don't know why, but i just suddenly felt very sad. I feel like I need help but don't know what for"
"I'm perfectly fine"
>He's still there
>Anon is still fighting
>You need to hurry
>Who knows how long he will last
>You start skimming through books trying to find the right spell
>Finally you find one but it seems to be very complex
>It first requires the subjects mental state to be intact
>Which means you have to return Anon's mind first
>Which will require another totally different spell
>Why did this have to happen


>Finally you find the correct spell
>You return to the other Twilight
>Or at least to the place where she were
>Oh no
>Where did she go?
>You start to call out for her
>"Twilight! Where are you?"
>It sure feels weird to call for yourself
>There's no answer
>You start to worry
>You have to find her fast
>Anon cannot fight forever
>You go outside and call for her again
>You get some weird looks
>Well, of course you would
>How many ponies can say they were searching for themselves out loud
>Well, probably Berry. But that's a whole different situation
>You go to the back yard and sigh in relief
>There she is staring at the castle
>"What are you doing here?! I was searching all over for you!"
"Wha- Twilight, what is this castle in the middle of Ponyville?"
>You're not wasting time with this
>"It's a long story and not important. Come with me inside"
"What for?"
>"I need to show you something"
>Maybe you can help out Anon a little
>Just to make sure there won't be that much struggle when you apply the first spell
>You lead her to the bathroom
>The shampoo is still in its place
>You examine the bottle
>It's almost empty
>How much Anon DID use?
>You turn to your copy
>"Do you know what this is?"
"Of course I do. That's the shampoo I use. Looks like I never tried anything new"
>Oh har har
>"Does it bring up any weird memories?"
>She looks deep in thought


"Nothing out of the ordina- AAAAAAAAH"
>She screams with her hooves on her head
>It worked!
>Looks like Anon is breaking out
>She stopped screaming and fell on the floor exhausted
>You approach her and see her opening her eyes
>You grab her head with your hooves
>"What's your name?"
"W-wh- Huh? Twilight? No wait. My name is..."
>You see her struggling to form a coherent answer
"My name is... Anon"
>She practically exhales the last word
>You sigh in relief again
>"I know you're very tired right now but I need you to make a final push"
>"I'm bringing you back"
>His eyes widen
"Please! Please! Do it as fast as you can! I don't want back! It's so cold and dark out there"
>Looks like the ship is really sinking right now
>You have to act fast
>Enveloping Anon in your magic, you run with him downstairs
>You don't have much time
>He's in pain
>The wrong memories are consuming him again
>You put him down on the floor in the main hall
>You start to charge up the spell
>It's all or nothing
>You cast the spell on Anon

>You open your eyes and see him lying on the floor
>He's unconscious
>The spell mentioned putting the target into a state of unconsciousness to reassemble the mind
>It's estimated to take from 2 to 3 hours
>You levitate the pony body upstairs and put it on Anon's bed
>In the meantime you decide to brew the shampoo for Anon


>You are Anon
>Your head feels like it was smashed into million pieces and assemebled back
>Where are you?
>What happened?
>You start to recall using someone's something
>Then something bad happened
>You try to put your hand on your head
>But all you are met with is a stub
>What the...
>You open your eyes and are met with blinding light
>As your eyes adjust you immediately regret opening them
>Instead of your familiar human body you see a pony one
>A purple one at that
>And a purple stub in front of you which is apparently a hoof
>Pain consumes your head
>It's all coming back now
>The shampoo, the physical changes
>You remember now
>You're in Twilight's body
>At least your own copy of Twilight's body
>You wonder why you're still a pony
>Was your mind just in overdrive from all the panic that it simulated all those mental changes?
>You have to find Twilight
>You slowly adjust your body in a position to leave the bed properly
>As you stand on all fours you notice the strange tidyness of the room
>It looks like yours but it's too clean for your habits
>Maybe Twilight cleaned it
>You even see some bookshelves
>Why would you need them?
>You don't read books
>You approach the the door and instinctively turn the knob with your magic
>Where did you learn to use your horn?
>It's not like you read a book about it
>While pondering this you approach the stairs and slowly descend in the main hall
>You hear some noise coming from Twilight's sciense room
>That's what you call it at least
>You open the door still wondering how are you able do it just like that
>You see Twilight near some flasks with liquids in them
>She doesn't see you so you approach her unnoticed
"Twilight, what are you doing?"


>She visibly jumps almost spilling what she was holding
>"Gah! Who- Anon?"
"Yeah?"
>She puts the flask on the table and tightly hugs you
>"I was so worried about you! I thought I lost you there..."
>What is she talikng about
>Didn't you just change appearance from that shampoo?
"Twilight, what happened? Me changing my looks isn't that big of a deal, right?"
>"What are you... Oh... You don't remember"
>What is she talking about?
>"It seems the spell is blocking your memories"
"What spell? What memories?"
>You're visibly confused
>"The spell I cast on you was supposed to restore your mind after what happened"
>"The memories it is blocking are about your mind changing along with your body to the one of the host's"
>"Which is me. Before becoming an alicorn"
>Wow, now many things started making sense
>Your tidy room
>Your knowledge of telekinesis
>You don't remember that because your mind was already changing at the time
>Well, now that that's out of the way, you can be returned to your original body, right?
"So, if my mind is intact then the next step is to transform me back?"
>"Of course. I just have to finish your shampoo and you'll be back to human form in no time"
>"It won't take me more than 10 minutes"
>You decide to leave her alone and return to the main hall
>You find a comfortable position on a couch and stare into the ceiling
>You hear some hoofsteps approaching the entrance door
>Oh shit
>If they see you, that will be very bad
>You don't have time to hide, though, as the door suddenly opens
>From behind the door Pinkie jumps in
>"TWILIGHT! I NEED YOUR ADVICE! OH, THERE YOU ARE!"
>She looks at you
>Oh no. No, no, no.
>This is bad


>She is suddenly in front of you
>No sense of personal space as always
>She squints at you
>"Hmmm, there seems to be something different about you"
>"I wonder what"
>You don't move under the scanning look of Pinkie Pie
>"Wait a minute... *GAAAAAASP* WHERE ARE YOUR WINGS, TWILIGHT?"
>"Did you do something bad and Princess Celestia took them away?"
>"Did you become tired of your princess duties and cast an illusion on yourself to look like a unicorn again?"
>"Did the collective mind of ponies not wanting you to be a princess become powerfull enough to make it true?"
>You barely understand what she says with the speed she talks
"Pinkie, stop"
>She continues her rant
"Pinkie"
>Pinkie.exe stopped responding
"PINKIE!"
>"What?"
"Pinkie, none of that is correct. Just wait a bit and we'll explain everything to you"
>"We? Why are you-"
>The door the the sciense room opens with Twilight holding a small glass of what you suppose is your shampoo
>Finally
>"TWO TWILIGHTS?! Did you experiment with time travel again? Is this Twilight from the past?"
>"That explains the lack of wings... *GASP* I have so much to tell you!"
>"No wait, I can't tell you anything. This will create a paradox and destroy the space-time continuum"
>"Great Scott! I must not touch you or interact with you in any way or that will affect the future"
>"Oh no, I already feel the world changing around meeee..."
>Twilight is in confused mode
>"Pinkie, what are you talking about?"
>"This is not me from the past. This is Anon"
>You see realization in Pinkie's eyes
>"Ohhh, so that's what you meant by 'we'"


>"So, now that your shampoo is ready, Anon, it's time to proceed onto the next step"
"Good, Pinkie already made me quite nervous about my future as your copy"
>"I'm right here, Anon"
>Who cares
>This will be over soon and you can finally return to your normal life of the only human in Equestria
>On Twilight's command you stand in the middle of the hall
>She begins charging the spell
>Your nervousness becomes very obvious as you start to shake a bit
>What if the spell fails and you will remain in this body forever
>Nah, that won't happen
>You believe in Twilight
>The alicornhood must earn its paycheck somehow
>There's a flash of light
>Aaaaand nothing
>You're still a pony
>A very nervous pony at that
>"What? Why didn't the spell work?"
>She examines you and findno change whatsoever
>She rushes to a book, which apparently holds the information about the spell
>She reads through it and sighs in relief
>"Okay, Anon. There's no reason to worry. The spell that I put on you earlier automatically put a defence against any other major spells"
>"It was designed so that no major changes from outside could interrupt the process of recovery"
>"The defence barrier needs some time to dissapear, so the transformation spell will have to wait a bit"
"How long do I have to wait?"
>"Maybe a day, maybe a couple"
"That's not a very exact answer, Twilight"
>"Anon, don't push it. Even though I still find myself responsible for this situation, your complaining isn't going to speed up the process"
>"If you're going to act like that, I might rethink my choice to transform you back"
>You gulp


>As you ascend the stairs you ponder your course of action for the next couple days
>You mustn't show yourself unless needed, so you'll have to stay inside for this period of time
>Well, it's not like you're not used to it
>Next, what are you going to do all this time?
>Read books? Eh. It's not your cup of tea
>Clean up a bit? No, your room seems pretty clean already. Excessively even
>Maybe help Twilight with things? Even if your mental changes are blocked off you still can use the knowledge you gained in that time
>Helping Twilight it is then
>As you brush your teeth you glare at the lavender bottles of shampoo
>They provoke only anger in you now
>You leave the bathroom and go to sleep
>You dream of glorious battles and waiting in lines

>Three days later, night before the transformation
>You're in the shower
>Finally convinced yourself to use it
>The fear is still there so are careful with your actions
>These three days were quite active to say the least
>While trying to stay hidden, you still managed to show yourself to the other Mane 6
>That said, they took the news pretty calmly
>You even saw Dash and Pinkie chat between themselves about something and laugh
>Rarity saw an opportunity to use her old and design new outfits for you since she had change them for Twilight's new wings
>But upon mentioning that you won't stay like this for long her excitement dissapeared
>She said she's still happy you're going to be fine and she has a number of outfits planned for your human body
>Fluttershy mostly said the same about you being fine
>Applejack was snickering the entire time and when you asked her what's so funny
>She burst out laughing, between laughs saying how you bragged about your human physique
>And now look what you are
>Stupid country horse


>Twilight said that the shield almost wore off, so tomorrow she will be able to perform the spell
>In the meantime you're too lazy to rub your eyes from water
>You reach out and take the familiar lass bottle of shampoo that Twilight gave you
>Huh
>There's not that much of it left
>Oh well
>You'll have to order more from Twilight
>Good thing the ingredients can be used multiple times
>Damn, the shampoo feels good
>Feels good to be back to your good old liquid
>You finish showering and dry off
>You brush your teeth and head to your room
>The night is peaceful today

>As you wake up you feel quite happy
>Why wouldn't you be?
>This is the day you get your body back
>You perform the daily tasks in the bathroom as fast as you can
>You rush down the stairs and make yourself the usual breakfast
>You had to refrain from using meat so you had to get some advice from Twilight on your ration
>As you finish your meal, you see Twilight only descending the stairs
>"Wow, Anon. You seem to be really eager to gt your body back. It's almost insulting"
"Sorry if it looks like that. It's just so anticlimactic and wrong to be in a pony's body"
"It doesn't have to be particularly your body"
>"Anon, I was just joking. I would have acted the same even if not so eager"
>As she eats her breakfast you prepare yourself in the hall
>You try to stand still in the middle so the spell hits you exactly
>You see Twilight enter the hall and prepere her spell
>As she charges it you already plan the day ahead as a human
>There's a flash
>You open your eyes and see hands in front of you
>YES, FINALLY
>You [cheer externally] with them in the air
>Twilight too wears a happy smile as she looks at you
>"Wow, all this really did a thing on me. I think I'll go take shower now"
>As she closes the bathroom door you remember that you had to ask her to make more of your shampoo
>Oh well
>"WHY IS MY SHAMPOO IN A CAGE?!"
>Hah, you really outdid yourself this time
>Welp, your list of things to do today isn't gonna write itself
FIN