Angel Asks

from /hhg/ Hazbin Hotel general #481
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>A gaggle of demons surround the refurbished strip-club stage, now dolled up with flashing lights, cameras, and… well, aside from the two chairs sat facing each other centre stage, maybe it wasn’t too different after all. Still, the air in the room is a little different: slightly less sexual, slightly more excited.
>The stage goes dark and the smart demons clutch their wallets to prevent wandering fingers. A spotlight blares on, shining a piercing beam of light not at the stage, but the ceiling.
>Two silken ropes tumble out from a hidden recess, fluttering to the floor, and not a moment later so too comes the spider.
>Bearing a long, red sequin dress, with a tantalizing split down its thigh, classy black high heels, his bangs pinned flat against the side of his head and his hair tied back into a ponytail, Angel descends. Unable to help himself, he puts on a bit of a show on the way day, holding certain poses that showed the length of his legs, or the bounce of his chest.
>At last he hits the bottom, stumbling just a step as he unravels himself, and bows.
Yes, thank you, thank you. Fellas, and lady-fellas, Val and Vox have teamed up to put on something a little special for you tonight. Now, I died before the widespread advent of colour TV, but some o’ you newbies might now this one. Tonight’s event is based a popular TV show back on Earth called: “The Price is Righ-“
>Angel’s eyebrows knit, and he places a hand to his ear.
Oh, uh, apologies. It’s called: “Who wants to be a millionaire?” What kinda dumb fuckin’ question is that? Anyhow, we’ll be shamelessly plagiarising it tonight, with our own little Hellish twist. And fuck that name, I’m callin’ it: “Angel Asks”. Yeah, that sounds a bit better, don’t it? Angel’s in power tonight, baby.
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Y’got safety nets at 1000 Hellbucks, and 32000 Hellbucks – don’t worry, ol’ Angel here’ll keep track. Anythin’ you win gets added to the total pot. And the grand prize? Well, there’s the fat million, sure, but better yet is a night spent with yours truly. A real treat, don’t ya think?
But it ain’t all sunshine and pasta, kids. Y’fail a question after the 1 grand checkpoint, yer all gettin’ punished. Fail a question before 1000? One o’ ya is been forced into indentured servitude to Val until you pay off the total amount o-
>He glances at his notes, and his eyes bulge.
Uhh, let’s just say it’s a lotta money. Whatever, you freaks signed the contract, it ain’t my problem.
But, look, I’m a generous host.
>Angel reaches into his chest fluff and brings out three different cards, one between each finger.
I’ve got these three to hand out next round. We call ‘em lifelines, and if y’wanna use ‘em ya just gotta say so. Ya lifelines are: 50/50, Ask Angel, and Check Vikipedia. 50/50 is pretty self-explanatory, we zip off two incorrect answers to make it a li’l easier for ya. Ask Angel is what I recommend – if y’think I might be able to help, then ask away. Do note that any potential help I may give ya is reliant on how well ya butter me up, capiche? Be nice – remember I got the answers here. Lastly, Checking Vikipedia. I’ll have a quick look on my phone, and read out a few lines from a relevant Vikipedia page. Maybe it helps, maybe it doesn’t. Who knows!
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All right, all right. I know yer eager, so let’s get started. Ya first question – and keep in mind it starts off easy – is this.
>In which country was the 1992 film ‘Strictly Ballroom’ set?
>A: South Africa, B: Canada, C: New Zealand, D: Australia

To keep things a little interestin’, if you know the answer, and ain’t just guessin’, then let us know how or why you know it! I love getting’ to know my fans a little better.
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I'm gonna go with, B: Canada.
It seems like the odd one out.
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Ba-bow. Wrong answer, bucko, it's actually . Man, this was the $100 question, they're meant to be the softballs! Well, don't worry darlin', I got a soft spot for you so I'll consider that a warmup question. Let's try again.
For $100:
>Who is colloquially known as a 'bookie'?
>A:Bookmaker, B:Bookkeeper, C:Bookbinder, D:Bookseller
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Acutally D: Australia. Woops!
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Most of my movie knowledge is horror related.
Also its, B: Book Keeper.
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Anyway, I'm startin' to think you wanna lose. I get it, you wanna get locked up and come work wit' me everyday. Yer a sweetheart.
The answer is A: Bookmaker!
Don't worry, I got 110 $100 questions to go through.
>In Australia, comradeship as an ideal is known by what name?
>A:Mateship, B: Buddy System, C: Equality, D: Old school tie
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Is it A: Mateship?
(I swear to Christ if Val comes anywhere near my asshole I'll kill him)
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Don't worry, I know how to catch his attention. But hey, you might not even need my help!
Mateship is correct, the first right answer of the night! Well done, buddy.
For $200:
>According to folklore, what does the sandman help children to do?
>A: Sleep, B: Grow, C: Cross the road, D: Graffiti
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A: Sleep.
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>E: fuck bitches and get money
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That's not even an option! D'ya wanna be a slave or what?
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Of course, correct! You're doin' just fine, sugar.
For $300:
>What do you do if you 'grease someone's palm'?
>A: Tell a fortune, B: Bribe Someone, C: Give a warning, D: Shake hands
Ooh, I know this one!
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I thought these were supposed to get harder?
B: Bribe Someone
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Oh they will, baby, don't you worry. Keep sweet talkin' me and they won't be the only thing, either.
Correct, obviously.
For $500:
>Who married Prince Rainier of Monaco in 1956?
>A: Marilyn Monroe, B: Grace Kelly, C: Ava Gardner, D: Judy Garland
Still think you're hot shit, tough guy?
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I know for a fact that it isn't Marilyn or Judy (Shame about Judy, she was treated horrendously on the set of Wizard of Oz).
And I think Grace Kelly is a soul singer from the 70s.
I think.
Is it C?
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Is that your final answer? Don't forget, you got a few lifelines to blow if you're struggling. But hey, if you're confident, I ain't gonna stop ya.
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B
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>you got a few lifelines to blow if you're struggling
If I know you, and I do, I'm gonna assume blowing the lifelines entails something else.
Also yes. C is my final answer.
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Don't worry honey, you don't gotta spend a dime to blow my lifeline.
Ya feelin' dumb about Grace Kelly now?
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No need for lifelines! Lucky Anon here stepped in to save ya. With 50% of the cote, B is correct!
For $1000:
>In knitting, what is the name of the stitch made by doing a plain stitch backwards?
>A: Purl, B: Curl, C: Whurl, D: Gurl
This is your first safety checkpoint lads! Get this one and you're guaranteed one grand o' Hellbucks!
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i'm gonna say...
A
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A's correct! That's $1000 buckaroos in your backpocket, pal. Well, more like the community pot, but still! Plus, you're out of the Val's fucktoy danger zone.
But the questions up 'til now may as well have been a piece of pie. Now it really kicks in to gear - don't be afraid to ask for help from your gracious host.
For $2000:
>Which of these films did not star Cher?
>A: Mask, B: Mermaids, C: Misery, D: Moonstruck
Ooh, Cher! She's got the kinda no-fucks-to-give style that I like.
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Easy.
C: Misery.
That hobbling scene still hurts me.
Fun fact, she used an axe in the book instead of a hammer
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Can't say I've watched it, but I do know about it. Crazy bitch keeps her boytoy tied down and tortures him, right? I'm sure she's ended up down here somewhere.
I'm not keen on anythin' damaging these pretty legs of mine.
For $4000:
>Which country features a bird of paradise on its national flag?
>A: Papua New Guinea, B: Indonesia, C: Thailand, D: Sri Lanka
Don't get cocky now... or, well....
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A!
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Isn't it Papua New Guinea with a Toucan?
I'm guessing A.
Also what happens if we get this wrong?
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Well, gettin' a question wrong in the $1000-$32000 bracket is grounds for light punishment - tar and feathers, raining snakes, you get the idea. You'll pocket the 1 grand (I'll keep track of it if we play again in the future), and we'll either head back to $100, or call it a night. But, hey, you don't need to worry about it! A is correct.
I don't even know half o' these countries. If they don't got a mob, I ain't interested.
For $8000:
>What is the correct term for the rotating part of a windmill?
>A: Sails, B: Propellers, C: Spinners, D: Wings

>Angel pulls the three life-line tickets out of his breast fluff, shuffles them around, then slips them back in such a way that they stick out from his chest.
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What? No "edge for an hour" or "flick yourself in the nads"?
Also besides the honor system whats to stop other Anons from cheating?

A: Sails.
Old school windmills used to use cloth if I remember right.
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You've got a gutter mind, pal. I hadn't even considered the thought! But, if it's something you're keen on... get back to me after the show.
Also, I like that you say 'other anons', rather than just anyone. You're a good boy, ain't ya?
If Anons wanna cheat for imaginary money, well they can I guess. I'm just like havin' a little fun with you guys.
Archive-anon is playing this round too, but he got himself banned for being a goofball. he says A, too.
Correct, by the way.
For $16000:
>In darts, how many points is the outer bull's-eye worth?
>A:20, B: 25, C: 40, D: 50
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D: 50
I'm starting to regret not hanging up that dartboard...

>he says A, too.
How do you know?
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Anon added me on discord a little while ago. He's a sweetheart. And you're lucky, too. Just before he goes he says to me - B: 25, which... is the correct answer. Saved once again by another Anon. You looking to make a habit of this? Maybe you like being the damsel in distress.
For the big $32000!
>Who co-wrote the song 'Do They Know It's Christmas' with Bob Geldof?
>A: David Bowie, B: Midge Ure, C: Phil Collins, D: Paul McCartney
God, Bowie, what I wouldn't give to spend a night in that man's arms. The Labyrinth is one of my favourite movies.
You don't have Archive-Anon to save you this time. Don't forget your lifelines.
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>thinkin' of you without clothes on
It's a good thing I'm totally not right now, haha
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Not thinkin' of yourself wearin' no clothes, not thinkin' of me wearin' no clothes, or just not wearin' clothes at all?
Gosh, you just don't know what you want, do ya?
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Alright, let's see here... the options remaining are:
B: midge Ure, C: Phil Collins.
Aww, bye-bye Bowie.
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I may or may not be nude right now. Except for my hat.
C: Phil Collins
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>The background music intensifies, a rhythmic heartbeat, consistent but nerve-wracking.
>Angel leans forward, four sets of fingers steepled.
Now, if you get this one right, you've just scored yourself $32000.
Is that your final answer?

>no clothes
Mamma-mia, you're on live TV! I know we're hosting this at the strip joint, but sheesh! You know I'm jumpin' yer bones right after this show ends, right?
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IT"S B!!!!
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Yes, that is my final answer.
>You know I'm jumpin' yer bones right after this show ends, right?
...Uh oh
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Saved once again. Maybe my rules are a little too lenient...
Then answer is B, Midge Ure. That's 32 Grand in the bank for you sad sacks. Well done.
How did you even know that, Anon?
For $64000:
>The name of which chemical element is derived from the Greek word for 'sun'?
>A: Radon, B: Helium, C: Argon, D: Oxygen
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B: Helium
Based off the Greek word Helios.
Hopefully I don't bring shame upon the thread, again.
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I'm currently reading Circe, for bookclub, which follows the disgraced nymph daughter of the sun-titan Helios. She becomes a witch and turns dudes into pigs.
Helium is correct!
For $125000
>What was the first vineyard established in the Barossa Valley?
>A: Orlando, B: Penfolds, C: Seppelt, D: Yalumba
You're so close to the big mil! Just two more questions.
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I'm gonna let Anon take this one.
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Y'know, I think that may be soft-cheating, but who am I to judge. I dunno if anyone's still playin' though.
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I'm pretty sure it was just me, PasteBro, and another Anon.
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Pastebro yeeted off to play Minecraft.
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Well shit.
I'm going with C then.
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>Angel uncrosses and re-crosses his legs.
Y'know, I already offered you two olive branches, so this time you're shit outta luck.
The answer was A: Orlando!
But that's okay, You still scored $32000! Well done, I'll jot that down somewhere.
>He stands up, facing the cameras, clapping with all four hands.
And that concludes 'Angel Asks' for the evenin'. Thanks for watchin', and I hope you'll join us next time!
Now for your regularly scheduled programming.
>Angel rips his dress off and throws it into the crowd, unclipping his hair and freeing his hair in the process.