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- >Day Brethren Afore Harlots in Equestria
- >Be Sir Anon the Stalwartly
- >You are off duty today from slaying daemons and generally giving evil doers what-for
- >Life in Ponyville is certainly crazy, but it comes with its own merits
- >Stepping out into the cool morning air, you find your kindly friend tending to her flower bed
- "Hail, Fluttershy! How grows the petunias?"
- >"Oh, Sir Anon! They're doing well ever since you saved them from that bunny stampede."
- >You laugh a hearty laugh and rest one leg on a stump
- "Of course, my dear! Of course! It is but my simple duty to protect the denizens of this wondrous place!"
- >Fluttershy trots happily to you and you place your hand out so that she may touch her nose to you
- >She really enjoys the simple greetings in life
- >"How did the fight against the Jabberwock go?"
- "He was certainly a worthy foe, but he ended up on the wrong end of my mighty spear!"
- >You make a thrusting motion upward and then a pulling motion back down
- "He shan't threaten your animal companions any longer!"
- >Fluttershy sighs lightly in parts sadness for the lose of life and parts ease
- >"So, I see you aren't in your armor, are you on vacation?"
- "Vacation? Perhaps! But, should evil arise, I will be thrust back into action at the moment's notice!"
- >"Oh, good, I was thinking of going into town today. Care to come with?"
- "With a friend as you at my side? I cherish the thought!"
- >With that, you two set off down the road from her cottage
- >You arrive in the market place without much evil raising its ugly head on the way
- >"That walk made me a little thirsty. I'm going to get a drink."
- >A drink would be an excellent way to start the venture through the market!
- >You follow your yellow friend to a nearby bar and she orders a sodas
- "My good fellow! I would request of you a stiff cider!"
- >The pony quickly mixes up a drink and passes it your way
- >A sip burns your throat and leaves the aftertaste of cedar wood fermentation on your lips
- >"Oh, Anon, I think that mare down there is watching you?"
- "Hmm? What makes you think that?"
- >"She pointed to you and then giggled with her friends. Oh my, maybe she likes you?"
- "Of course she likes me! Everyone does."
- >"No, silly, I mean, likes-you likes you."
- "Perish the thought, my dear. I have eyes for but one pony in this great nation."
- >"Anon, I never knew. Who is it?"
- >Fluttershy's cheeks grow as rosy as the gardens of her home
- >You take a swig of the potent drink before speaking again
- "I have seen her but once while slaying a hydra. Her mane shined like the night sky, her eyes were as blue as the mighty ocean, and her coat, as pale as porcelain! Never have I witnessed such radiance, such magnificence! Alas, I never learned her name. A pony like that was truly a rarity."
- >"Oh, you mean Rarity?"
- "Yes, that is what I said. She was truly a rarity to behold."
- >"No, no, I have a friend who sounds just like that! Her name is, 'Rarity'."
- "I see... Does she live far?"
- >"Not at all! Oh, how wonderful, I never knew you had feelings for somep0ny."
- >The alcohol sticks warmly in your gullet before traveling upwards to your head
- >"Let me just pick up some tomatoes really quick and we can go see her in a little while, that is, if you want?"
- "Certainly, my incredible friend, certainly!"
- >You smile at her as she walks on
- >Fluttershy finds her tomatoes quickly enough and meets with you
- >"Look, Anon! Only ten bits for three tomatoes. I am surprised at how cheap vegetables are today."
- >You laugh, more about her calling the humble tomato a vegetable and not a fruit than anything
- >In your infinite wisdom, you forgive him in your head
- "Lead on, my compatriot!"
- >You head down the lane and to a larger section of town
- >Stopping in front of some large building, you peer over to Fluttershy
- "This is where the majestic creature lives?"
- >"Um, yes. Just for a heads-up, Rarity really like jewelry and white roses. She's very ladylike, really."
- >You grade this information through your head and smile
- "A true damsel!"
- >"yes, exactly."
- >You rap on the door with a balled fist quickly and await
- >Before your very eyes, the door opens and the mare of your dreams appears
- >"Um, yes, hello. Can I help you?"
- "M'lady! My name is Anonymous and I have come to ask you for the honour of going out with you this evening?"
- >You sit upon one knee with your hands help up to her and your best smile plastered to your face
- >"Oh, uh... That sounds... lovely! But, oh goodness, would you look at the time. I really must be going..."
- >The love of your life closes the door on you with little ceremony
- >Dragging yourself to your feet, you turn and walk from her doorstep
- >A tear nearly fills your eye, but you do not cry!
- >"Oh, poor Anon. Don't worry, maybe Rarity just needs to warm up to you?"
- "You are right, my friend. I must move slower and with more grace!"
- >"I could, um... you know, talk to her, if you want?"
- >You smile widely and nod your head
- "Yes, yes, that would certainly help!"
- >You step back and watch as Fluttershy approaches the door
- >A soft knock catches your ears and you watch the door open again
- >Fluttershy begins speaking and waving her hoof back and forth
- >She points to you and smiles before returning to her friend
- >Rarity's magnificent eyes light up as she stares at you
- >Fluttershy smiles before trotting back to you with a triumphant grin
- >"Hey, Anon, she said she would love to date you if she could see your cutie mark."
- "Fluttershy, you know I have none!"
- >"Don't worry, I got a plan!"
- >Fluttershy produces a marker from her saddle bag and tells you to get behind the brush
- >You do so and lower your pants just enough to see your side
- >Your otherwise shy friend makes a few quick marks on you look down at your new, "cutie-mark"
- "A bull's-eye?"
- >"Um, yes, it stands for, um... Being focused?"
- "That sounds a lot like me, yes. Thank you!"
- >You run your hand through her hair and she blushes
- >"G-go get her, champ!"
- >You valiantly stride to the awaiting mare at the doorstep and she forcefully pulls you in
- "Hello, once more! I am glad you have given me the chance to..."
- >"Shh, shh, that is not important right now, darling. Let me see -it-!"
- "My cutie-mark, correct?"
- >"Yes, yes!"
- >You pull down your trousers enough to display the drawn mark and smile
- "I take it that the lady appreciates a focused gentleman?"
- >You hear a laughter and feel a tug at your pants
- >A hoof pushes you forward and you land on your hands and knees
- "M'lady! What is the meaning of..."
- >You are cut off by a sharp smack across your butt and you turn your head to see Rarity standing behind you
- >"Fluttershy knows me too well! A stallion who enjoys submission. What luck!"
- "W-wait, madame! I was here to..."
- >You feel a tight collar wrap around your neck and you are yanked to one side
- >"Darling, struggling only makes my little toy harder. Now be a good dear and bend over."
- >The last thing you see before you are violently loved by your beautiful object of desire is Fluttershy winking at you from the window
- >She holds up a small sheet of paper with some scribble on
- >It reads simply, "The safety word is, 'Banana'."
- >Without another word, a tongue presses into your backside and lubes you up
- >You try not to grunt as the expert mouth swabs you deeply
- >Tonight, you fear that you will be the one on the wrong end of the spear
- >Damnable Fluttershy!
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